tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post8424036619113967850..comments2023-09-23T13:36:55.955+00:00Comments on TWADDLE everyday rubbish: Mrs Fix It Thats Me - Gag Gag Gag Gagging......MarmiteToastyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-56068695323220312942007-06-17T17:38:00.000+00:002007-06-17T17:38:00.000+00:00~(((SideNote)))~ whatever you have to say is speci...~(((SideNote)))~ whatever you have to say is special....... every single word......xxxMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-57128195948525476312007-06-17T17:35:00.000+00:002007-06-17T17:35:00.000+00:00((((((((Starr))))))))))) LOL@that card...... wonde...((((((((Starr))))))))))) LOL@that card...... wonderful...... xxxxx<BR/><BR/>~(((inlandempiregirl)))~ yeah that recipe is sure to give ya the squirts lol apt for this post, and what a great poem from your bruv :)...xxxxMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-32047965869761238312007-06-17T16:31:00.000+00:002007-06-17T16:31:00.000+00:00Wow... great post plus a poem sent by my brother a...Wow... great post plus a poem sent by my brother and a great recipe too. It doesn't get better than this!Christy Woolumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02748862572108653566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-31513457887682841012007-06-17T16:23:00.000+00:002007-06-17T16:23:00.000+00:00A high school friend's father was in the septic ta...A high school friend's father was in the septic tank cleaning business. He gave me one of his dad's cards that read, "Your Shit Is My Bread And Butter." I loved that card.Go Figurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908840010777729109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-44787663310242161282007-06-17T15:33:00.000+00:002007-06-17T15:33:00.000+00:00Speechless in a good way like I have to think of s...Speechless in a good way like I have to think of something good enough to say because that was really good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-59540918492248806202007-06-17T14:36:00.000+00:002007-06-17T14:36:00.000+00:00NOT really apt for a poo post, but Pinehurst asked...NOT really apt for a poo post, but Pinehurst asked for the recipe of the chocolate cake from the previous post.......<BR/><BR/>Bake a double chocolate cake, I make 2 cakes in 2 loaf tins and put them side by side to make one big square cake :) - double chocolate means a choc cake with bits of chocolate in the mix as well as the actual choc cake :)... <BR/><BR/>shopping list for the rest.... <BR/><BR/>A HUGE bar of decent milk chocolate, like galaxy, NOT that Hershie rubbish, yuk... <BR/><BR/>A smaller bar of decent white chocolate... <BR/><BR/>A packet of Malteasers (malt balls).. <BR/><BR/>A packet of Aero minty balls... <BR/><BR/>A packet of white chocolate buttons.... <BR/><BR/>A tube of smarties... <BR/><BR/>a Packet of white malteasers and anything else that is self indulgent and scrummie :)...... <BR/><BR/>And a punnet of fresh strawberries..... <BR/><BR/>Place the cakes side by side to make on square cake.... <BR/><BR/>Melt the HUGE bar of milk chocolate and Ooooooze all over the top of the cake..... before it sets, halve the strawberries and stick in the melted chocolate, whilst licking out the melted choc bowl and stuffing strawberries into ones mouth... <BR/><BR/>From a great height drop the mixed sweeties onto the cake and watch them get stuck in the chocolate, throwing them across the kitchen as target practise is great fun..... and of course eating all the ones that fall off the cake or those that miss the target... <BR/><BR/>melt the white chocolate and drizzle over the rest of the very healthy (cos of the strawberries) cake..... while eating the extra packet of malteasers that one bought as a stand by...... <BR/><BR/>lick the bowl of the white melted chocolate, whilst shoving a few candles into the gooey mess, place in the fridge to harden for 15 minutes..... <BR/><BR/>scrap the chocolate off the shelves of the fridge where the setting chocolate has ooozes off the side of the cake and dripped off the plate....... <BR/><BR/>Watch as all birthday party goers eat the cake within 5 minutes..... and be proud that one remembered to cut a slice off and hide before presenting to the crowds :)..... enjoy..... xxxxxxxxMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-84485251950995362512007-06-17T05:53:00.000+00:002007-06-17T05:53:00.000+00:00Thought you might this Aussie's poem's on the subj...Thought you might this Aussie's poem's on the subject of shit!<BR/><BR/>Shit Poem<BR/>by JAS H. DUKE<BR/><BR/>I'm in the shit business<BR/>I work for the sewerage depatment<BR/>I analyse experiments<BR/>I draw graphs and flow charts<BR/>and conclusions<BR/>today I was sitting at my desk<BR/>trying to explain<BR/>the dissolved air flotation process<BR/>where streams of little bubbles are released<BR/>into a tank full of sewerage<BR/>to float the suspended solids up to the surface<BR/>to be skimmed off<BR/>but what I was really thinking about<BR/>was lunchtime<BR/>the canteen cook<BR/>caters to the ethnic multitudes<BR/>by putting on Italian eats most days<BR/>I was thinking of ravioli<BR/>with meat sauce<BR/>but I was writing things like<BR/>"The sludge produced by this process<BR/>is grey-brown in colour<BR/>and does not produce<BR/>offensive odours<BR/>provided anaerobic conditions<BR/>can be prevented"<BR/>the sludge is really composed of<BR/>my used ravioli<BR/>and the Boss's used steak<BR/>and your used hamburger<BR/>and the vegetarian's used brown rice<BR/>all mixed up together<BR/>and when it gets in this state<BR/>no one wants to know about it<BR/>except me<BR/>I don't find shit offensive<BR/>most people do<BR/>they can'y wait to push the button<BR/>or pull the chain or something<BR/>and then they think the shit has vanished<BR/>into the centre of the earth<BR/>it hasn't really<BR/>it just floats up somewhere else<BR/>However<BR/>it's all biodegradable<BR/>I reckon most people think<BR/>that shit is the most deadly poison<BR/>on the face of the earth<BR/>they'd rather face ten tons of plutonium<BR/>than half a bucket of shit<BR/>even their own<BR/>no curse in the English Language<BR/>is complete<BR/>without "shit" included in it somwhere<BR/>lunchtime arrived<BR/>I ate my ravioli<BR/>I had a shit<BR/>it was brown in colour<BR/>I felt a lot betterraymond perthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04924633611890299829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-70000729505861888792007-06-17T01:58:00.000+00:002007-06-17T01:58:00.000+00:00Will the next post be about a poo-poo platter?An e...Will the next post be about a poo-poo platter?<BR/>An excellent rendering of the tale, thank you ever so much.OrdinarySharkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09423346168533996854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-43605094999077529182007-06-16T20:19:00.000+00:002007-06-16T20:19:00.000+00:00I love a good poo story, Mel. I'm one of those peo...I love a good poo story, Mel. I'm one of those people you hear about who laughs at 'bathroom humor'. Can't help it. It's funny.<BR/><BR/>I must say though, I am disappointed that none of the poo actually went under the gate and over to the twat neighbors.Spilling Inkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13970126156464922867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-8321061154301375922007-06-16T17:55:00.000+00:002007-06-16T17:55:00.000+00:00Girl, I dunno if we have drain rods here. I guess ...Girl, I dunno if we have drain rods here. I guess if I had to, I'd call Roto Rooter. I guess.<BR/><BR/>No, it's not drain rods. But when I schlepped it down the hall and hoisted in onto my conference table, a woman who works in our office and APPARENTLY BLURKS HERE, *YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE* said "Are you sending that to England to the Toast Woman?<BR/><BR/>I said hell no. this is for me. (insert wildly devilish grin here and punctuate with a little snort)JBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-61159378172637712122007-06-16T17:29:00.000+00:002007-06-16T17:29:00.000+00:00Mel your sense of humore will get you through anyt...Mel your sense of humore will get you through anything!!!! Just keep laughing Sweety!!! I can just see you now!! Laughing all the while! Its the only way to be Mel! HugsCatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05693116257747111018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-75811093619666843652007-06-16T16:17:00.000+00:002007-06-16T16:17:00.000+00:00((((((Mel)))))) you make me glad i came! i'll re...((((((Mel)))))) you make me glad i came! i'll read em all cutie!<BR/><BR/>and *****waving to ciara13**** hi!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-89471191852651047422007-06-16T15:22:00.000+00:002007-06-16T15:22:00.000+00:00~(((SideNote)))~ speechless? in a good or a bad wa...~(((SideNote)))~ speechless? in a good or a bad way? I never try or intentionally mean to offend anyone......hope I havent offended you.....please explain 'speechless'...xxxxxMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-7312831669955854822007-06-16T15:11:00.000+00:002007-06-16T15:11:00.000+00:00Oh no, this is like required reading in my book. I...Oh no, this is like required reading in my book. It sometimes just leaves me speechless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-5376548577096927932007-06-16T12:25:00.000+00:002007-06-16T12:25:00.000+00:00~((((Slaggy ciara)))~ no fiddling with the comment...~((((Slaggy ciara)))~ no fiddling with the commenters please LOL.....xxxx<BR/><BR/>~(((JBelle)))~ drain rods? - I asked MrFoote yesterday when I returned the poo sticks, if he would leave them to me in his will, cos after all, he is getting on a bit in life and he aint to well, and he said 'sure'..... he better bloody rememeber..... <BR/><BR/>Not like me matie Tina that died a few years ago, the day before she died, I told her that she had promised me for years the secret recipe to her most famous chocolate cake, so I said to her, that before she snuffs it, could she please write the recipe down...... omg she laffed and laffed, and said, 'Mel, you come here as Im dying and ask for me recipe, I love you for that, for just being YOU, where everyone else has tiptoed around me'....... but the daft cow died before she had time to write it down, now that is well selfish.......xxxx<BR/><BR/>~(((((Susan))))~ I DONT want no job as a shit shoveller lol..... fank you very much....... and I try anything..... sometimes one has no choice ;).....xxxxxxx<BR/><BR/>~((((Bugs)))~ just take a sledgehammer to it and buy a new one lol....xx<BR/><BR/>~((((SideNote))))~ dont get all misted up, cos you will start me off lol..... and I read about human poo, BUT no fanks :)...... glad ya still sticking around, I thought I had lost ya......xxxxx<BR/><BR/>~((((((fatty)))))~ I will tell ya the story oneday about Bebhinn and the Ginger Nuts LOL...... oh ginger nuts are biscuits...gawds sake.... yeah brave and gagging...... xxxxx<BR/><BR/>~(((((the woman))))~ to be honest I did try the old coat hanger trick down the downstairs loo, but 2 snapped off and it didnt work lol......I can tell you, I was NOT laffing :)....xxxxMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-448219311605988702007-06-16T10:56:00.000+00:002007-06-16T10:56:00.000+00:00BWAHAHA... Sorry... Couldn't help myself! Next tim...BWAHAHA... Sorry... Couldn't help myself! Next time, let me know... Me and my plastic coat hanger will hop a plane! ;o)Henny Pennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258248369946414552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-34929598193097379512007-06-16T05:44:00.000+00:002007-06-16T05:44:00.000+00:00i was about to panic when i started reading about ...i was about to panic when i started reading about sprite... whew.. lol<BR/>and of course it had to have been a chocolate cookie on a day like that.. it's how life works isn't it..<BR/>you're a brave brave woman...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-73306982796625739172007-06-16T02:57:00.000+00:002007-06-16T02:57:00.000+00:00This made me smile though I must admit I got a bit...This made me smile though I must admit I got a bit misty reading the birthday post before it. (BTW, in some third-world countries human poo is used to fertilize the vegetable garden.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-80619266481425496432007-06-15T22:56:00.000+00:002007-06-15T22:56:00.000+00:00Well, come on over! When I get done with this it w...Well, come on over! When I get done with this it will probably cost more than a round-trip ticket to World's End anyway.Bugwithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09501621201593233204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-77024231000127504592007-06-15T22:47:00.000+00:002007-06-15T22:47:00.000+00:00Mel, I bet you could handle most anything you set ...Mel, I bet you could handle most anything you set your mind to. I bet people pay alot of money to people who don't mind unstopping their nasty drains. Was this fate telling you something???? Huh???????susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09309417867290012153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-37781580904458561052007-06-15T21:48:00.000+00:002007-06-15T21:48:00.000+00:00Guess what I bought from the guy down the hall who...Guess what I bought from the guy down the hall who was moving out???JBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-79314877308856381892007-06-15T21:47:00.000+00:002007-06-15T21:47:00.000+00:00~~waving hi to cookieboy~~it's me ciara, from the ...~~waving hi to cookieboy~~it's me ciara, from the gloomies, just don't tell anyone from there that i am here, k? lolPamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365631315923740004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-38221887363574763942007-06-15T20:00:00.000+00:002007-06-15T20:00:00.000+00:00~((((Foolie))))~ we build right proper hole dug du...~((((Foolie))))~ we build right proper hole dug dunnies when on camp with our scouts....<BR/><BR/>Well not all of us have an option of internal plumbing fixers LOL ;)....<BR/><BR/>I think Ive found me true vocation in life...... a shit shoveller lol....<BR/><BR/>its like that song.....<BR/><BR/>my fathers a lavatory cleaner.<BR/>he works all the day in the pit.<BR/>and when he comes home in the evening.<BR/>he's covered all over in........ <BR/><BR/>sssshhhhhhhhhhhine your buttons with brasso, its only 3 halfpenny a tin, you can buy it or nick it from woolies, thats if they have got any in.....<BR/><BR/>some say that he died of a fever,<BR/>some say that he died of a fit,<BR/>but I know what my daddy died of,<BR/>he died of the great smell of....<BR/><BR/>Ssssssshhhhhhhine your buttons with brasso........<BR/><BR/>and so it goes on and on :)<BR/><BR/>x<BR/><BR/>~(((kati)))~ well, I'll ave a go at most things and believe me, the poo unplugging was definetly trial and error LOL...... <BR/><BR/>xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-55309144600307357152007-06-15T19:07:00.000+00:002007-06-15T19:07:00.000+00:00Not a cheapskate, just self-sufficent & very brave...Not a cheapskate, just self-sufficent & very brave!!! And rather knowledgable as well, considering one only gains experience through trial & error!Katihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18312698112377656801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095754554312929376.post-78783083859303553942007-06-15T17:57:00.000+00:002007-06-15T17:57:00.000+00:00Well, well, well, M-Toasty, you are a woman of man...Well, well, well, M-Toasty, you are a woman of many talents. Ever consider an outhouse? When things go bad, you just fill in the hole, dig a new one, and move the loo. I'm glad you managed...but what an experience. Frozen pipes are a theme of some households up here...but I've been lucky (knock on wood). I'd much rather handle the internal plumbing necessities.<BR/><BR/>:)The Foolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962641109795032438noreply@blogger.com