To Mangle or Not To Mangle That WAS The Question.......

Ok............ something weird flashed into me head today, a set of coincidents.... always a sign to me.....

Last night I watched that telly programme 'My Name Is Earl' its well funny, its about this bloke that decides to put right all the things he has done wrong to people in his past..... its one of me favourite funny programmes......

Anyways I didnt think much more of it UNTIL this morning........ I was dropping nippers off at school when I heard someone shout 'Oye Martin'...... with in seconds I had a flashback and was transformed back in life more then 40 years......... it was real strange (I expect me nut nurse friend would have a field day with me and me mind lol)....

Martin..... Martin....... Martin Bennyworth, well I never, after all these years, Jebus do I owe you an apology..... yep I do big time.....

Martin lived at the top of our road, he was an only child and quite spoilt by our standards, but it was not that he was spoilt it was that he was a smug up his own arse kid.......

Everyday dead on 6pm an ice-cream van would ding and stop at the top of our road..... Martin ALWAYS had a lolly off the van, something that I could only dream of.... I would watch the kids queue up and hand over their money and rip the wrapper off their goodies and lick and lick....... I use to say, when I was grown I would buy my own van and eat lollies all day LMFAO

Anyways, I was about 8 and me older brother was about 10..... and this one day, Martin not only bought his daily lolly from the van, but he bought a double chocolate Walls Feast.... now back in those days that was like the bestest money could buy........ he well gloated at me and me brother and was really teasing us and saying not nice things........

Soooooooo me brother turns to me and just said 'The Mangle' and shame upon me I just nodded...... even knowing it was wrong and we was old enough to know better........ but you see, it was NOT that Martin had the lolly, good on him, but it was the teasing and the smug words...... he had sealed his own fate LOL

The following day when we got in from school me mum was not in....... so it was a good mangle day.... we was never allowed kids home to play, but mum was out and so me brother went and called to see if Martin wanted to come play at our house, so for him it was a novelty and he jumped at the chance........ we use to play with him out the front and would win all his marbles off him, ok we did cheat, but still, we was kids.......... anyways...... me brother comes in with Martin....... not in the house, but around the back gate........ well, in those days we didnt have a washing machine or a clothes spinner or new fangled stuff like in Martins house....... me mum use to have this big copper boiler where she would boil up the clothes and sheets etc and then scrub them in the big kitchen sink, and it was then my job to put all the washing through the mangle, which squeezed most of the water out, and then it would dry quicker on the line......

Whilst me brother was getting Martin, I climbed over MrEarls (yep, another coincident) fence, he was the bloke that lived next door, and I nicked a handful of his blackcurrents of his bush and climbed back over into our garden, I then squashed the blackcurrants through the mangle BIG MISTAKE in the end LOL.....our mangle was out the back in the cold scullery.....

So Paul me brother comes back with Martin and he says, lets play the mangle game...... mums not in we can squash what we like through the mangle...... Martins eyes lit up, he had all mod cons in his house so to him this was fun....... 'oh he said' when we stood next to the mangle with grasshopper in hand..... 'whats all that red stuff' - oh its blood me brother says - whose blood says Martin - oh its the blood of that kevin in the next street, he wouldnt buy us an ice-lolly so we put his fingers through the mangle, and if you dont buy us a lolly from the van we are gonna put your fingers through the mangle and then your head, and your brain will pop and your brains will drip into the bucket and your mum will be sad - (hanging head in shame now at this point :( ) - so I says.... yep its true..... (there I was a part of the evilness with just those few words) - so me brother grabs Martins hand and pushes his fingers towards the mangle as I turn the big handle....... lucky for Martin the rollers had been set wide apart to fit the thick blankets that had been mangled the day before.....

So Martins fingers didnt get squashed and crushed but he did cry, then he punched me in the side of the head, so me brother jumped on him and punched him, just as me mum walked in the back gate........

Jebus, we brother dobbed me in to me dad when he came in from work, he said it was all my doing, now me brother knew me dad used any excuse to give me the beating of me life, and sure enough thats what I got that day....... beat me to within an inch of me life...... couldnt go to school for well over a week, and wasnt allowed out the house incase someone saw me........

The following week, when I was out the front playing, I heard the ice-cream van ding its tune, and Martin was in the queue....as was my brother, cos he was now allowed an ice-cream for being a good boy LMFAO...... Martin walks up to me as Im sitting on the gate and hands me a lolly and just says 'sorry' I remember looking at him and taking the ice-lolly and saying 'sorry' ... it was like he understood me far better then I understood meself or me brother for that fact.......

Sooooooo MARTIN 40 something years late........ but I truely am sorry for the mangle and the blackcurrants and the squashing of your fingers...... I hope it didnt affect your life in such as way as you couldnt eat blackcurrant pies or bite ya finger nails...... I TRUELY AM SORRY........ :)

Enough Twaddle for one day..

x

Oh Lordy Only To Me.....

Ok........... so Tuesdays is one of me busiest days of the week, I usually crawl out of bed on a Tuesday with me head buzzing trying to remember who is coming and what time etc..... I rarely write anything down, its usually all in me head, and when ya get asked the week before to take on extras, its easy to forget lol.......BUT I dont forget......

Sooooooooooooo, started work at 6.30am this morning, looking like I had been dragged through the hedge backwards....... well it was early and I hadnt even had a cuppa tea....... by 8.30 there was 8 nippers here..... I had already shoved 2 of mine off to work with packed lunches, 1 off to college with dinner money, and 1 off to school with dinner money and busfare....... so it was only me 8 nippers to sort..... doddle.....

I took 3 to infants, so that left me with 5... BUT I picked up 2 from parents outside the school, so that put me back up to 7......... took 4 to pre-school which left me with 3.......... 10 month old baby.... 15 month old baby and my darling little other lad who is 3.....

As I was knackered today we or I decided books and snuggles on the sofa and then play on the floor time with toys...........

Well.................. what you have to understand is that the baby has just started to pull herself up to standing........ well what you also have to understand is that she can now reach things that up to a fortnight ago was unreachable.............

Jebus........... bloody jebus......... so there I was having a cuppa tea sitting on the sofa in this middle room watching the nippers when I realised that the baby was being very quite for her ....... she is a bit of a hoover so if anyone drops a bit of a biscuits she is there in a flash, picking it up and munching lol.........................................

BUT OH MY GOD..... OH MY GOODNESS ME............ WTF did she have in her mouth, WTF was that dangling out of the corner of her mouth............ oh lordy say it aint so............ no no no....... please say she aint done that.........

I leap up and sort of jumped (which I aint suppose to do) across the room and hooked me finger in her mouth......... which ya have to do when she decides that lego looks edible.......... so I hooked out the dangly thing in her mouth.........

GUESS WHAT IT WAS........... go on guess.......... I dare ya............ ya cant can ya, cos these things ONLY ever happen to me.......she had grabbed the little box off the table........in which the 'dangly' was.....

It was to be a pressie for me matie MrFab, cos I know he would appreciate it LMFAO.......

She had only half eaten the dead tarantrala (sp) skin that me friends giant spider has shed..... and they had given it to us to send to MrFab........ she had half eaten the bloody thing and just 2 little legs could be salvaged......... dam that child.....

ok ok call me a bad minder.............. I for one WOULDNT leave my kids with a raving loon like me...... :) but they love me, sorry they cant help it......... their kids LOVE coming to me........ spiders and all......... least it aint as bad as the fat orange slug that the 2 year old was munching on last summer lol

And YES I did tell the babies dad when he picked her up after he had finished work......... he almost wet his pants in me kitchen he was laffing so much............ oh Lordy he said....... only could happen to you Mel.......... sigh

To much twaddle for one day...

Fanks

x

BUSY PAINFUL DAY TODAY......

Ok....... I'll have to love ya and leave ya for today to amuse yaself for a bit..... busy busy day, and new pain meds are messing up me system lol...... and not having taken any this afternoon, so that I can drive for an hour to my youngests trampoline club, hang around for 2-3 hours and then drive an hour back..... without falling asleep at the wheel LOL

Soooooooooo........... if anyone shows up here, just help yaself to whats in the fridge and maybe one of ya could stack the bleedin dishwasher..... and Fool, in the cupboard under the sink there is some foot balm that ya can soak them stinkers in lol....

It the cupboard above the mixer there are scones and some chocolate bourbons ya can have with ya cuppa tea if ya like

I have to scarper cos Ive got a 5 hour trip, thats all I need on top of a busy day LMFAO........ kids aye......

I'll nip on later when I get back about 10pm my time........ YOU work it out you lazy gits LOL

Enough Twaddle for now...

Fanks

x

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...

Ok........ you have to understand that I dont really cook on a Saturday............ I mean cook like a proper dinner with all the trimmings....... Its my day of rest from the cooker or stove as me doodles maties seem to call it, which to me is sooooooooo 1930s lol...... anyways....... there is loads of rubbish in the freezer(meaning pizzas and stuff) and loads of fresh bread and cheese and pickles and hams etc in the fridge, so its not like I leave me lads barren and starving...... its just THEY HAVE TO SUSS AND SORT THEMSELVES OUT.......they aint babies no more *gawds sake* dont look at me like Im a bad mother lol......

But....... last evening I had this urge come over me...... an urge that grew and grew........ it became a craving and no matter how much I told meself that it was not needed, something inside of me just took over and IT WAS NEEDED......... I craved for a 'Chinky Take-away' (this term is NOT meant to offend anyone - it is what it is called here, its what everyone calls the little take-away up the road, even the little chinese man that works in the iron-mongers calls it that, so its not meant to be offensive to anyone OK)... anyways, so I wander into me little lounge where I find 2 of me lads and one of their girlfriends..... arh good me thinks, just the 4 of us, that wont be to expensive........ Who wants a Chinky, I say........... you must understand that we dont often get take-away anything in this house, its a rare treat...... so of course the answer was yes.... great I thought.......... so we ploughed through the 'Lucky Star' menu that we found under the phone....... its from 2 years ago LOL....... oh well it couldnt of gone up that much in price......

Had terrible feelings of guilt come over me, how could we order this wonderful treat without included me 2 lads that were not there......... well I figured one of me lads couldnt eat it anyways, he is still suffering from a double broken jaw and still has his mouth wired together to try and get the plates now inserted in his jaw to set....... so I thinks he CANT have any anyways........ So we order over the phone........

2 Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls with SS Sauce and BBQ Sauce....

2 Chicken Kung Po (which I will hasten to add I LOVE WITH A PASSION)

1 Special Fried Rice (which I cant have cos its got ham in and we all know that eating ham will kill me stone dead lol)

1 Singapore Chow Mein (which is well scrummy BUT the tossers put ham in it GGggrrrr)

2 portions of chips LMFAO yep chips

and a bag of prawn crackers.....

So all in all it was a feast to our eyes.........and at just over $60 we didnt think it to bad to feed 5 of us....

So I goes and picks it up...... gets the plates out, dishes it up for the 5 of us.......... THEN I had this wonderful brill idea.......... my Ben (you know the one with the broken jaw) LOVES chinky food, so I dish the feast up on 6 plates........ leaving one on the side for him when he comes in ....... we stuff ourselves with our supper..... I take our plates out to the kitchen, only to come face to face with the extra plate put by for Ben...... THINKING CAP ON........ of course he cant eat it, his jaw is wired shut......... but he CAN of course he can IF I liquidize it in the blender, then he can suck it up through a straw, right? LOL............ so I shove it in the blender and get this thick goop, goop is the only word to describe what I was looking at.... I know I will add the SS Sauce that will make it thin enough to go through a straw, right?........ there :) done...... a lovely cup of cold liquidized chinese food :)

An hour later me lad comes in, and the conversation went like this........

Son: Hey mum, Im starving is there anything I can eat...

Me: Yeah, there is a bowl of stuff in the fridge, ya just have to zap it in the microwave...

Son: Ok, but it dont smell to good...

Me: Oh its fine you will LOVE it, your favourite...

ding ding ding ping

Son: Mum, what exactly is this 'stuff'...

Me: Its kung po, chicken balls in batter chips rice prawn crackers chow mein...

Son: Mum I really think you need to be seeing someone, you know, one of them NUT DOCTORS......ARE YOU MENTAL......

So it went in the bin and he opened a tin of Lentil Soup and slurped it rather loudly through his straw..... I think he was making a statement LOL..............

I WAS JUST TRYING ME BEST....... THATS ALL......... no pleasing some people......


OK - way more then enough Twaddle......

Fanks x

Bare With Me or Bare Ya Bum, I Dont Mind Which...

Ok, here goes...........

To say I feel thick or a computer retard is a fair comment to meself........ I am such a dinlo when it comes to computers....... I cant suss and sort out me fridge let alone a bloody blob site......

So you are gonna just have to bare with me until I can suss it all out......

Me Blob maties have kept on and on about me setting up me very own blob, what they think Im gonna post on here I have no idea...... it most certainly will not be daily, and I WONT be telling me most inner secrets....... it might be a tad crude sometimes and a bit near the edge, it will probably be very boring..... but only time will tell, and if its a load of old bollocks then it will be laid to rest, just like me old matie Nancy....... whom we buried up the natural burial ground a few years back, and I had visions because of the floods the following day of her floating down the lanes in her wicker coffin cos we couldnt be arsed to dig the hole deep enough......

Anyways, enough twaddle for now........

Fanks x