Monday 31 March 2008

Sometimes They Just Cant See For Looking.....

Ok......... all me sons are completely different, in personality, looks, height, clothes etc....so sometimes its difficult to keep up with them all, and all their washing and ironing.... take my Tom for instance..... he LOVES clothes and has a wardrobe overflowing with beautiful shirts and trousers, many expensive shoes etc.... me other lads would call him a bit of a nancy but he just dresses well and thats him..... my Sam on the other hand is a skater/drummer and wears his jeans down past his bum that even I with me laid back ways often has to tell him to 'pull up ya bloody trousers, I really dont need to see ya bum cheeks'.... Ben will just take stuff right out of the ironing bin and wear it creased as long as its clean.... and Jacob will wear whatever is hung in his cupboard lol..... it is only Tom that has decent shoes, when I say decent I mean a collection of leather shoes, where as the other 3 only have skating shoes and trainers...what they pay for their skater shoes they could have many leather pairs, but they just wouldnt wear them lol.... no hope if there is a funeral and they need proper shoes lol........... cos no one can borrow Toms cos he is a size 13 :)....

We have what is known in this house as a 'sock box' cos I lost track of whose socks were whose, so I just wash them and try and find a matching sock, roll them in a ball and toss them into the 'sock box'.... and they just take as and when :).... the same goes for the 'boxer box' I just wash and fold them and put them in the 'boxer box' and NO they dont just share boxers they know whose is whose only its ME that dont, so its just easier to have a 'boxer box'.....



This if FatCat sleeping in the 'sock box' lol



Here he is again :)



Anyways....... they just all dump their clothes in the washing basket or on their bedroom floors, and like a miracle THEY re-appear washed, smelling sweet and ironed in their cupboards.... ok, so they are spoilt, but Ive tried not doing it and telling them to do it themselves and then I just get huge piles of ironing on every surface and they just iron as they need, and that just dont work cos Im then forever moving piles of un-ironed clothes....

So this weekend, I actually, with nose mask on, and breathing apparatus hobbled into their pits with washing basket in hand to gather any and all clothes left on floors.....cos I need to get everything up to date, so the washing machine has been going ALL weekend......

Panic must of set in cos Saturday evening my Tom came rushing into the kitchen saying.....

Tom - mum, mum have you seen me new jeans, ya know the Hillfiger ones, I cant find them, and I NEED them, Im going out in half hour, and Sam had better NOT be wearing them....

Me - What colour were they Tom?...(I knew the exact ones he was talking about, they was washed and ironed and on the side about 2 foot from where he was standing)...

Tom - *Blank look* and in a sarcastic voice 'they are jean colour' mum duhhh....

Me - That would be blue then Tom, now would that be light blue, stonewashed blue, dark blue, pale blue, navy blue, royal blue or just plain bloody blue blue?...

Tom - mum, sometimes, just sometimes I dont think we are related...

Me - Tom if they was that important you would of washed and ironed them and they would be ready to wear...

Tom - But they are always just in me cupboard....

This conversation all took place in me kitchen with the washing machine whirling and the tumble drier tumbling and piles of folded washing ready to iron and hangers upon hangers of ironed clothes ready to be put away and piles of clothes ready to be taken upstairs and put into their cupboards all neatly folded up on the kitchen counter....

To be honest it looked like Changs Chinky Laundry Room......

Tom - So mum, have you seen them, please say Sam aint wearing them, I need to wear them out tonight..... mum, mum, ya aint listening to me are ya....

Me - Tom, Im listening....you have loads of other jeans, wear a different pair...

Tom - Have ya seen them, this is life or death...I NEED those ones....

Me - What colour was they?...

Tom - Blue *rolling his eyes*...

Me - Nope, I aint seen them anywhere, actually I aint seen any of your many pairs of jeans, Tom, you so need to put them in the washing if you want them washed ready for ya night out....

Tom - Shit, ya aint seen them?...

Me - Nope.....



Me - Smiling at the look of panic on his face and as he turns round to see HIS pile of clean washed sweet smelling jeans....

Tom - YOU SHOULDNT DO THAT YA KNOW, that just aint funny....... fanks mum...... *beaming smile*

Me - Rolling me eyes lol.......

Boys aye........ sigh.......

Ok Enough boring Twaddle for a wet cold Monday.......

x

Monday 24 March 2008

Just Call Me A Failure - Its What I Do Best - Ask Anyone....

Ok....... When I was married to 'the tosser' we use to own a little plant nursery....where we grew over a hundred different varieties of old English Cottage periennials and about 70 or so different alpines..and which we would wholesale to garden centres and shops and other little nurseries and then we would have displays at all the big Garden Shows in the South of England (which I LOVED)and sell our plants there....I loved this little corner of England that we had bought out at Worlds End.....HE had worked for his fathers nursery since leaving school (25 years or more) and when my Sam nearly died in a road accident the father sacked my 'tosser X' for taking time off work lol yep you read right.... anyways HE went into a deep depression, its a long story, but to cut it short after a year of supporting us all lock stock and barrel, I asked HIM what he wanted from life, cos this was so not a life anyone was enjoying 'just to have me own little nursery he said'..so I helped him build HIS dream with every fibre of me body and soul....and after 4 years it was almost built he decided he wanted it on his own....and he dumped us on the poo pile of life.....lol....... such is life......

Anyways, up at our little nursery I use to keep chickens and ducks and I had a corner of the field dug over as a veggie plot..... just to dabble ya know, in between the working 70 hour weeks to earn enough to support us all whilst we build HIS dream LOL.... it was my little bit of MY time, just digging and weeding late into the evenings when it was to cold or dark to do the other nursery work.... it was my little bit of something just for me... a quiet time away from it all and me 4 young lads and the responsibilities that I had carried for so very long...

Well it was me first taste in growing stuff.... and jebus was it fun or what..... I dream of owning land and having enough space to grow proper and have animals and become as self sufficient in stuff as well as self sufficient in the person I am.... but I do realise now at my age and after all this time on me own that, the dream will never come into fruition, and that at times makes me sad, cos Ive supported everyone on me own for so long and helped build other peoples dreams and now knowing that mine will never come to pass.... oh well lol

Anyways.... just tell me to shut up LOL.....

So me little house here is a little turn of the last century cottage with a long THIN typical garden of the time..... and I mean thin..... its sort of split into little areas, this end is where we have BBQs and we have a garden table and flowers and tubs and hanging baskets..... then we have a play shed filled with minded toys and then we have a 22 foot big shed filled with everything under the sun lol..... then we have a 17 foot trampoline, then Janet and Mabels house and then there was a 12 footish bit of grass then me 'shrubb of life' (thats another story lol) then 16 foot or so where we can put one of our cars then the back gates onto a little back track out to the one main road through this village......

So early last spring, I was moping around and looking at an allotment book which I had bought, with a huge self sufficiency book and just dreaming, ya see I was thinking of getting meself a little allotment up by the farm so that I could once again grow stuff...... and I was talking to Jacob about it...... and he was explaining the pitfalls of how the stuff would get nicked and how I would have to get in the car to go dig it etc etc.... so I put the idea to the back of me mind and he said he was off out so I put away me books and got on with boring house stuff lol.....

3 hours later Jacob appeared in me kitchen covered in mud LOL...... I thought he must of been up the woods with his maties and had fallen in the stream or had a mud fight or something........ but oh no........ he took my arm and said 'mum come with me' and he dragged me down the garden.........

OK tears now just remembering.......... past the BBQ, the play shed, the big shed, the trampoline, Janet and Mabels house ...... and there I stood...... this lad, my precious son...... had only taken 3 hours to dig over the 12 foot by 7 foot bit of garden and had made me a veggie plot....... he had taken one of me books and had read how to over dig and under dig and turn and weed and he had dug me a bloody veggie plot in the back of me little garden right next to our shrub of life......

Can you see the tears running down me face as I type this...... he had even got some long bits of wood and had edged it all proper.... he stood there beaming and I stood there crying....... 'there ya go mum, I know its not very big and ya wont be able to compete with a farmer, but its the best we have' ....... where does he get it from, this huge heart, this soul that so cares for everyone and everything around him.....

So...... anyways BACK to the story I started to tell LOL

One of the dads that I childmind for gave me half packets of seeds that he had left over to start us off...... and ya know me 'waste not want not' so instead of going out and buying seeds, I just used what he gave me....... and there was a packet of
Beetroot seeds, and anyone that knows me KNOWS that more then anything I LOVE beetroot..... I eat it grated raw in salads, cooked and sliced but best of all PICKLED beetroot is me favourite and there is always an opened jar on the go in the fridge........ and now I would be able to grow me own and pickle it and have a cupboard full and give jars to me maties from me own garden.......



I buy jars and jars of these beetroots, but now I would grow me own :)

So, I planted me seeds and I told me maties, you must remember me maties DONT do digging or growing or soil or animals LOL...... and they laffed at me...... but they said they would save any glass jars so that I had something to put me garden treasures in.......



See a cupboard full of jars just waiting to be filled with pickled beetroots :)... I couldnt wait..

I planted loads of other things, ya usual bog standard tomatoes and courgettes and peas and carrots and lettuce and and and.... they all begain to sprout and grow and it all looked lush and gorgeous and it was mine and I had grown it and nurtured it....... and then came 3 months of the wettest weather that Britain had ever had since records began lol...... but still me stuff grew, and we picked courgettes and tomaotes and peppers and lettuce and shoo'd Janet away and weeded and it grew and grew..... Colin the bloke that had given us the seeds was impressed with me little plot and told me to leave the beetroots all summer and pull at the very end......

I was sooooooo excited..... I would have jars full all winter...... it was a start on me road to a self suffient life LMFAO.....

So it was time to pull and cook and pickle......... ONLY.......... well......... I had to laff and boy did I laff as did me maties and Colin and me twat neighbour and me lads were creased up.........

The big pulling of the little rows of beetroots..... it was the big day........ and this is what they looked like........



WTF was that lmfao....... it was tiny..... not even big enough to cook and pickle...... Im now laffing whilst typing lol



I mean aint it pathetic lol hardly enough to pickle and store and give to friends and sell the rest out the front on a little gingham covered table with a hand written 'Pickled Beetroot For Sale' sign......

Im a bloody failure....... go on, admit it...... like everything in life...... Ive failed at me pickled beetroot business LOL

Ok....... enough boring Twaddle for a freezing cold Easter Monday....... oh, and Happy Easter to anyone that reads down this far LOL...

x

Thursday 20 March 2008

Me Love Of Meeses And A Postie That Must Think Im Crazy.....

Ok...... so most know of me love of Moose, or Meeses as Sharkie corrected me when I told him about me mooses find....

I still dont know where this passion of mine comes from, but Im always typing in Moose on Ebay and having a flit around...

Look what I bought a couple of weeks ago.... how mega chufted was I LMFAO..... what a bleedin saddo I am that something so daft makes me smile from ear to ear LOL.... And the wonderful thing is it only cost me 99p plus a couple of quid for postage.... 99p (50cents I think) for something that when it was bought new by the previous owners (and its in as new condition) must of cost a fair packet cos the label says *Knight and Lee* and thats a wellabit posh shop lol....



Dont look so puzzled lmfao..... its a Moose Rug thingie, of course its not a real dead moose its fake BUT AINT IT JUST THE BESTEST thing ever ..... its about 5 foot long and it has this big proper head and I just LOVE it ...... jebus, you should of seen the look on me lads faces when I showed them what had come in the post....It was that look of 'mums lost the plot' lol..... at the moment its in this middle room with all the childminding toys etc and the nippers LOVE him, they roll on him and wrap him around their shoulders and pretend to be a moose...... I think when I sort me bedroom out I might put him on the floor next to me bed and then I can pretend I live in a log cabin in the woods LMFAO.....

See how easily pleased I am..... just tiny little things makes me smile, Im very low maintenance lol and this moose rug has made me BEAM lol..... I also bought off ebay an antique moose jug in perfect condition and it came all the way from America..... well most know me love of jugs and I just fell in love with the moose jug.... I will take a photo when I get batteries for me camera.....

Anyways, back to me story..... a few months ago over at...

FamilyPhilsBlob

he had a photo of some of the junk on his desk and said he was having a clear out..... so I commented that if that was really the case then I would LOVE the little moose figure that I had spied amongst his stuff..... and guess what, all these months later? ... can you see the smile on me face......look what turned up in the post...



Oh my goodness, it was a parcel from Phil.... all the way from Idaho or somewhere left of the staples.... and look what was inside...



Not just the little moose model thingie but other bits and bobs of meeses.... just look at that HUGE mug thing, it keeps drinks hot or cold and a fridge magnet and and and..... can ya see me beaming smile...... fanks Phil, it was so very kind and sweet of your family.... hope your little 'fanks package' arrives soon....

So..... where was I going with this post lol...... I have a very nice postman, and he has been me postie for way over 4 years and he knows he can knock me front door until the cows come home and 9 times out of 10 I wont hear it, cos Im usually not in lol or Im out the back in me kitchen...and the radio is ALWAYS on and the washing machine etc..... so, if he has anything to deliver that wont fit through me letterbox he knows to just come round the back where he will find me or if Im not in then he leaves whatever on me back door step, he aint suppose to but he does, cos he likes me and he knows I wont stitch him up lol and the funny thing is, even when he is on holiday or off work sick the stand in postie knows to do the same LOL..... and if the back door is shut (its never locked) he will shove any bits through the cat flap :)

And the funny thing is with me postie he ALWAYS reads where me letters or parcels have come from, Im forever calling him a nosey git lol and sometimes he even stands there and says 'open it then Mel, Im curious as to what it is' LOL....... good job I dont order stuff from those sexy online catalogues LOL

So, I heard the back gate open and saw me postie walk past the back window and shout through the open back door......

Mel MEl MEL you in...... I have a parcel for you...... this is the conversation that happened LMFAO.....

Postie - Mel looks like you have a parcel from America...

Me - Oye you, dont be so nosey...

Postie - (shaking me parcel) do you know what it is? ...

Me - Nope I have no clue (I didnt know Phil was sending a parcel)...

Postie - Come on then, open it....

Me - Brian, bugger off it might be something private....

Postie - Mel, why do you call me Brian? ...

Me - Cos thats your name...

Postie - But its not me name...

Me - Shut up Brian, of course its your name...

Postie - Its NOT me name, so why do you always call me Brian...

Me - What do you mean its not your name, Ive been calling you Brian for 4 years...

Postie - I know you have and it always makes me smile, why did you think that was my name...

Me - Errrmmmm cos you look like a Brian...

Postie - So you started calling me Brian without knowing my name cos you thought I 'looked' like a Brian.. - Mel what is a Brian suppose to look like...

Me - You.... you just look like a Brian.....

Postie - Did you escape from some secure unit, like years ago or something lol...

Me - Brian thats not nice, so if ya names not Brian what is it....

Postie - Im not gonna tell ya... cos Ive just got so use to you calling me Brian lol...

Me - But I cant call you Brian if thats not your real name, go on tell me what it is... and why didnt you say it was not your name when I first called you it...

Postie - Well, ya've been calling me Brian for years now so why change a tradition lol and there is no way Im telling ya me real name cos ya would only take the mickey out of it *belly laff* and when ya first called me Brian I was being polite and didnt like to say you had it wrong....

Me - Brian, since when have you ever been polite LOL... so its all your fault then.....

Postie - Well, then Brian it is.... I think its rather cute....

Me - Sod off Brian and dont forget to shut the gate...... lmao



This is Brian (or not as the case may be), he let me take his photo, I was laffing so much...... now dont he just scream 'Im a Brian'..... you can see Janet and Mabel pecking around the garden in the background lol

Why does everyone I know think Im crazy LMFAO.... and just let me get on with it...

Proof that Ive always called me postie BRIAN

I dont think there is any hope for me lol...... everyone must think Im a right proper dinlo... like Ive bovvered, much :)...

Ok enough Twaddle for a freezing cold official First Day Of Spring....

x

Wednesday 12 March 2008

In Honour Of My First Born Son Ben - Happy Birthday

Ok........ so, this is a day late but still, never mind..... Yesterday marked my Ben's 25th Birthday..... where has the time gone..... how did we get to 'here' when it only seems like we are still 'there'.. how far we have all come.... how precious I hold this child/man in my eyes and heart.....

Im almost exactly twice as old as my first born son Ben..... this child bought so much joy into my life from the day he was born......



Here he is about a hour old...

I use to work for the Ministry of Defence and had for 9 years.... and I worked for the Minstry up til 4 weeks of my due date.... but we had only been married a couple of years and with an all but derelict house to do up I had no choice but to leave the Minstry on the Friday and go work at my X's fathers plant nursery business on the Monday..... no feet up on maternity leave for me LOL...no making baby clothes and baby quilts for me lol..... that should of been the first sign lmfao..... well this child this first to be born was a fortnight late so I also worked at the plant nursery, heavily pregnant right up to the day he was born..... I worked all morning and went to me doctors appointment at noon where he told he was ringing the hospital and to get me arse down their cos this baby at a fortnight late needed to be born.... I remember asking him if I could finish the work day cos we were busy at the nursery and he told me that I shouldnt even of been working there at this late stage LOL....... well ya know the saying...... you wear my shoes buster and then tell me what I should and shouldnt be doing LOL



Two weeks old...

So...... I first went and did a grocery shop so that me tosser of a now X had supplies in the house lol...... and then he took me down the hospital and we got booked in and there was no sign of the baby arriving yet, so me tosser of a husband went back to work and left me down there on me own scared as buggery not knowing what to expect and very frightened.....well I went into labour that evening and they rang him and he asked how long before the baby would be born and they said a few hours and he told them to ring him just before they thought it would be born LMFAO...... oh my, when I think back now, I cant believe how uncaring he was even back then...I real truely have been alone all me life..... this was to be our first child, he was suppose to be there by my side.... his excuse was.... he had to get up early for work and he needed every minute of sleep, so ring him only when the baby was gonna arrive.....what about me aye? lol



8 Weeks old...

Anyways...... he made it back just in time to see his our first son born..... this precious bundle of what looked like a yellow chinaman LOL..... he was jaundiced and he was a tad yellow lmfao.... within a hour of his birth my husband kissed his son and hugged me and went home to bed cos he was tired LMFAO...... smiling now just thinking of it all.....


So enough of that rubbish, ya cant change the past, but I can still feel the loneliness now when I remember seeing the other new mums with their husbands by their sides sitting for hours and hours beaming and so happy and proud......

So...... 4 days on and we take our child home...... our Ben..... home to our little derelict house lol.... This child was so very special.... we took him on his first holiday to the lake district and cornwall when he was 5 months old and he started to crawl on that holiday, I kid you not, we have video of him :)..... he walked at just 8 months old.... so when his first birthday came around and he was running around whilst all his one year old maties was just sitting on the floor being babies lol....



5 months old and crawling already lol...

As Ben grew he changed every thought I had in my head, ya see, cos my parents hated me and were extremely cruel in many ways, I was so scared that I would of not been a good mum, that maybe whatever made my parents the way they were, that maybe I would be the same.... but that was so not the case.... I loved this child with every ounze of my body heart and soul.... I loved him with everything I had never felt before.... I laid to rest the fear that I had carried for so long..... I was NOT my mother and I was nuffin like her.... cos I knew how to love my child....



8 months and already able to walk....

Ben grew to be such a funny little character and by the time he was 2 he could talk well proper and knew his colours and numbers and most of his letters..... he was gifted and its not like I had sat for hours and hours with him cos when he was only 10 days old I went back to work at the nursery with baby in tow and did that until the day before my second child was to be born lol...and then with two in tow until my third was born and my fourth lol..... circle circle a never ending circle.... I often wondered what it would be like to be a stay at home mum, but alas that was not in my destiny....

By the time Ben was 4 1/2 and was about to start school he could swim like a fish and had advanced right through all the swimming lessons and had reached his 'life savers' lessons...... he was 4 1/2 the other kids were 13 LMFAO..... he looked so tiny standing there at the side of the pool but there was nuffin they could do to stop him, he had earned his place lol.....

By the time Ben turned 9 he began showing an interest in music and out of the blue asked if he could have a saxaphone.... I didnt even know he knew what a saxaphone was lol..... so I out of the blue bought him his first saxaphone for his 9th birthday..... and a teacher at his junior school who taught the clarinet said she would start him off..... well she was gobsmacked cos within 5 lessons this child of mine could play the saxaphone like he was a 50 year old blues player...... he could read music within 6 weeks and could listen to any music on the radio and play it tune perfect from just listening...... the teacher said she could no longer teach him cos he needed a professional, so I use to take him once a week to a music school on a Monday night and there he stayed for quite a few years..... he won almost every competion the school put him in..... and by the time he had been playing just a year he was beating 14-18 year olds in the Portsmouth Music Festival LOL...... I think this boy had a talent.......

When he was 10 he asked if he could be one of the buskers in town... ya know those that placed a hat on the floor and played and people lobbed money in the hat... I told him he was only 10 but he was quite adament that he wanted to busk outside the shops in Portsmouth over the crimbo period lol..... so being to young to leave down town on his own I use to take him with his expensive sax his 8 year old brother Tom who would hold the hat lol his 4 year old brother Sam who would just stand next to his brother and I would sit on the bench with Jacob who was then a 6 month old baby and just watch incase there was trouble or bullies...he wanted to do this so very much so how could I deny his need.....his music teacher said it would be good for him...... do you know, that boy played with no music every crimbo carol ya can think of and old blues songs and a bit of jazz and he would make over 200 quid ($400) an hour.... ya see he was tiny, and without seeing who was playing he sounded like he must of been an old pro playing and when people realised it was but a mere child I think they was well impressed and he made more money LOL....he use to attract such a crowd and people would stand next to him and have their photo taken lol in case he was one day famous I suppose LMFAO....

When he was 13 he heard that a pub in town had an open jam session night on a Wednesday where anyone that could play at a good standard could just get up with strangers and jam etc..... I thought he must be joking but again his music teacher said it would be character building and to jam with strangeers with no music and no idea what to play would see if he really had what it took..... lol...... so from 13 Ben was playing in the pub on a Wednesday night, at first they was dubious of such a young lad playing and he was not allowed near the bar area LOL but I remember the first time they gave him the nod to go up front with 50 year old drummer and 2 old guitarist to jam, they asked him what he wanted to play and he said.... (lump in throat just thinking about it now).. you play and I will get the beat and join in as and went....... well I kid you not...... he had grown men in tears.... he was amazing, and within weeks of the quiet Wednesday night jam sessions word spread and the pub would be packed on a Wednesday with people just to hear this tiny 13 year old lad play the blues and jazz and rock and roll..they gave him his own spot each week besides playing with others he had his own solo time lol.. my child, my special gifted child......

About the same time he showed an incredible interest in the drums and so that christmas I bought him a second hand drum kit..... well the talent he showed for the drums was as amazing as his talent for the saxaphone..... again within weeks he could drum and what a drummer he became..... he also picked up a guitar one night at the pub jamming sessions and just strummed and plucked and within a few weeks he had bought himself his first guitar with is own money and taught himself how to play.....

Ben was also a very wonderful sportsman, he played Tchoukball, football, rugby and had such a passion for rock climbing and sking...... I tried to give him every experience I could.... so that maybe one day he would find a path through life that was his own....

And so the years passed and my child my beautiful child grew and grew and him and his brothers bought me such joy in a very hard world that I found myself in....he left school at 16 and went to college to study a BTech National Diploma in Music technology..... which is the same course that my Sam is doing now 7 years later lol....

When my Ben was 16 and just before he started college his father walked out of his life and his 3 brothers lives and left us all on the shitpile of life...... many thought of it as the end of our lives but I had to look at it as just the beginning..... I tried so hard not to let Ben take on the responsibility of being the man figure in our house what with him being the oldest, and I didnt want him and his brothers just to become statistics of divorce, and go off the rails and become 'bad boys' cos there was no father figure in his and their lives....I just wanted him to enjoy being who he was it was NOT his responsibility to be anything but himself..... I wanted to let him still be a youth and have fun and live his young life free from any worries...... my 4 sons and everything was my responsibility and it was up to me to carry that load...... I hope I didnt let him down....... he did look out for his brothers and would of protected them with his life, but I never let him carry the load...... I hope and pray I carried it high enough....

We are so very close, dont get me wrong we have had our ups and downs along the way and when he left home at 21 to share a flat with his long term girlfriend, I knew even through the tears that I had done a good job on this young man, this boy those heart was so full of love for people and life and music..and was just the most fun to be around...... but I also felt that a part of our anchor was being lifted, but that was my job, to grow these children the best I could and set them free out into the world with all that I had nurtured and guided and loved tucked in his pocket.....

He still played his music but more the drums then the sax or guitar and he couldnt for the life of him get a job in the music industry so he went into engineering...... and had his music as his passion .... this gift he was given will always be with him, to bring out when he needs it....



This is my Ben, Jacob, Sam and Lucy (Bens then girlfriend who I love like one of my own) from a couple of years ago when I flew us all to Cyprus for a week one Easter cos we hadnt had a holiday together since being on our own... alas my Tom couldnt get the time off work... I LOVE this photo.... taken at The Tomb of Kings...

But alas 18 months ago his world went tits up when his then girlfriend of 6 years left him a fortnight after they had just moved into a bigger flat, and as he worked for her fathers engineering company the father made my lad redundant and said there was no job there anymore for him.....so 2 punches in a world that had been safe and secure and a girlfriend that had been a part of my family for 6 years.... he could no longer afford his flat on his own and with no job he had no choice but to move back home.... this will always be his home.... he was in such a bad way emotionally.... and all I could do was wrap him in the safety of his family and let his heart bleed and his soul ask questions and love him like I had loved him all his life.... its not been easy, he has no bedroom of his own here, he had moved out 3 years ago and his room had been taken over by one of his brothers lol.... his whole contents of his flat is stored not only full to the roof in me huge shed but in my bedroom.... and he sleeps in the lounge..... but this is his home and he came home cos he needed us...... he was only out of work for a few months and now works for an engineering company here in the village, he is slowly rebuilding his life... with the love of his family......

Last year he got jumped on in town by some thugs and had his jaw broken in 2 places.... those men got just under a year inside and he is awaiting his compensation with a hope that he will have the deposit for a house.........



This is my Ben this time last year waiting to go down into theatre for emergency surgery to get his broken jaw rebuilt, it is now held together with a 2 plates, he had his jaw wired shut for nigh on 10 weeks.... it was painful for all of us..... not just him... he is a bit out of it in this photo lol...

He hates it that at 24/25 he STILL gets asked for ID when he goes to buy tins of lager in the shop and gets ID'd in clubs LOL it must be his baby good looks.....



Yep, thats me boy lol

I love this child as much today as I did the minute he was born..... we talk and we suss and we sort out shit in life, its not been easy at times and he has pushed me to my limits sometimes.....but I understand it cant of been easy to move back home with no room of his own...after living away in town..... and town is where that boys heart is, he is not really a country boy, but loves the hustle and bustle of town life....... but he knows my love is unconditional and I will always be here for him..... no matter where I end up in the world..... ya see, we only have each other..... he is a wonderful boy/man, and except for that little blip where his heart was broken so very badly.....he has remained the funny beautiful person he has always been..... Im so very proud to of been a part of my Bens life, we have been alone really from the day he was born..... and my love for him will never fade..... he is my first born...... my child and the beginning of my life........



This is Ben and his now girlfriend (whom I dont particulary like lol) just before crimbo when we went out for a meal in the Harvest Home pub.... his hair is quite short in this photo..

I sometimes wonder what sort of person he would of become if he had had a father figure in his life instead of just me..... I hope I have done the very best I could under extreme circumstances.... I hope he can look at me with pride, cos I sure as hell look at him and my heart almost bursts with the love I have for him.... I just hope Ive been a good enough mum for him.... we have laffed til we've cried and we have cried til we've laffed....

I love you Ben...... through thick and thin..... I'll aways love you .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON...... I hope you know how much I love you and how proud of you I am of you for all we have been through since day one...... I did my best son, with no guide and no hand to hold..... I hope its enough...

Here are his brothers....

TOM

SAM

JACOB

Ok more then enough boring twaddle for one week....

x

Monday 10 March 2008

Me Neighbour Loves Me.... NOT..... I Aint Bovvered

Ok......So, I went to bed last night with the words 'Severe Weather Warnings' ringing in me ears...... we had been told on the late night news to batten down the hatches and only venture out if needs must...... yesterday was torrential rain one minute then clear bright sunshine the next, but one could see the clouds building and that they were a strange colour.....

Winds expected to reach at least 80 miles an hour, oh goodie that makes for a lovely walk to school lol......

I woke up a few times in the night with the wind howling, and seeing as how its dustbin day today, I could hear some of the bins being blown down the lane... it really was whipping up a storm....

Woke up this morning and turned on the news..... trees are down, as are many power lines, at Heathrow all aeroplanes are grounded and all Ferries are haboured against the storm and this is just the tip.... worse to come today.... the south coast is to get the worse of the storm this afternoon and into the evening....and where do I live? aye? yep South Coast lol

So, I dragged me tired arse out of bed and bunged the kettle on for a nice cuppa tea.... opened the back door to wander down the garden to let Janet and Mabel out of their Coop..... to be confronted by this......



Cripes...... I know the fence was on its last legs cos in the week it was wellabit wobbly......

What these pictures dont show are the very high winds that I was battling against...and the torrential rain that got me wet through to me knickers...



Since I took this photo this morning the fence is almost on the ground, and one fence panel down the bottom of the garden has disappeared completely lmfao

Can we say KANSAS and the Wizard of Oz....

So, I stand there with me cuppa tea in hand when me twat neighbour wanders down his garden and is standing the other side..... these are the same fence panels that were broken a few years ago.... I dont know if you remember me post.... when I chainsawed me apple tree down and it crashed through this fence lol.....

Its HERE

So, most know I dont have much of a loving huggy kissy relationship with me neighbour... actually he is an up his own arse full of self importance tosser lol and thats being nice :)

Our eyes meet over the broken fence.... so I says..... go on blame me, it must of been all the lentils Ive been eating cos me windy pops sure are strong, even strong enough to blow and snap the fence posts.....



ya know, I thought I'd start the conversation off on a light note lol....

Well he hates me with a passion and I dislike him with as much passion and from the beginning we thought it best not to beat about the bush and pretend that all was rosie and loving.... we just dislike each other... and thats that lol....

Him - Is this the side of the property line that Im responsible for...

Me - Yep, thats a bit of a bummer aint it....

Him - but didnt you replace these a few years ago, so that means YOUR responsible for this side....

Me - I only replaced them cos it was my apple tree that fell though them before and so I was just being nice, cos it nearly killed ya wifey and I can be nice ya know.....

Him - Ok, I'll go and get a couple of cheap panels and some cheap posts and those metal ground spikes and I'll shove that up....

Me - I would much prefer if you didnt go down the 'cheap road' cos it will look aweful and of course it just wont last....and those spikes are crap and the fence will still be wobbly and cos of my job I have to have a secure garden, oh and this side I need kick boards along the bottom, cos your garden it higher and ya soil rots the panels, thats probably half the trouble.... *smile* so I could have a word with me Matie Simon who is a proper fence blokie and get him to give a quote...

Him - I dont know if I want to spend much doing the fence....

Me - Well, I know what, dont bovver and I'll do it.....

Him - okay...if your sure...

Me - Yep, I'll get me matie Simon to take this all away and I'll get him to put up a cute little white 3 foot picket fence, Ive always wanted on of those....

Him - You cant have a low picket fence there, all your minded kids will be able to see through....and your chickens will get over into my garden...

Me - Oh yes, wont it be lovely, they can watch you in your garden and when you have a BBQ with all your friends and family we can put chairs up this side and watch you like a freak show....

Him - You are extrely rude...

Me - I aint said one swear word, Im just explaining that I dont want a cheap and cheerful fence put up to replace this one....so Im willing to fork out the money and put up a cute white little picket fence, I could put a little gate in so that we could join you for your BBQs....

Him - You dont like me do you....

Me - I dont know where you got that idea from, but now you mention it... nope I dont....

With that Mrs Twatt wanders down the garden.... I only have to look at her and I can reduce her to tears LOL...... she is a headmistress of a very private girls school, so ya thought she would be in control..... but I can do this 'dont mess with me stare'.... good morning she says..... oh my, what a pickle....

Me - Yes it is, but dont worry, Im on the case, I'll ring Simon and before the weekend I'll have a lovely strong nice 3 foot high white picket fence and gate up....

Her - A picket fence and a gate?

Me - Yes, wont it be nice, it means I can just pop over and borrow a cup of sugar and the nippers can all come and visit and it will just be so lovely to get to you know you better....

Her - Staring at her hubby, trying not to make eye contact with me.....

Him - I think if your mate Simon can give us a quote for a proper solid 6 foot high decent fence and posts and do the graft and put them in, I would be most grateful.....and get him to bill me....

Me - I'll ring him today, but only if your sure you dont want a little cute white picket fence with a gate?

Her - I think we are through here.....

Me - Have a lovely day *my charming smile*

WHAT A BUNCH OF TOSSERS lol......


So Ive just got off the phone to Simon...... I rang him and this is the convo....

Me - (SHOUTING) - Simon, its me Melody, Im up a tree in the eye of the storm hanging on for dear life, help me, Ive tied meself to the trunk cos the winds are so strong.....

Simon - (laffing) - you silly cow, what do ya want...

So I explained and he laffed and he is coming around about 5ish to measure up and give a quote :).....

Ya see, I was real nice, cos I told me twat neighbour that even though I was NOT responsible for the fence, that I would infact go halves on the cost as long as it was done proper......

So..... I explained this to Simon and he said he would put the quote high so that when it was halfed he wouldnt charge me my half LMFAO..... so infact the nice proper fence will cost me nuffin BUT it made me look good in the eyes of me twat neighbour LMFAO.....

And poor Janet and Mabel have not had the run of me garden today but have just had their little enclosed outside run to their coop.... I dont want them getting over the broken fence and pooping in me neighbours garden, I would never hear the end of it LOL

Ok to much waffling twaddle on this stormy windy scary day.....

x