I Sometimes Wonder What..............

Ok.......... This is probably me most favourite photo that I have in my possession......Thats my Jacob on the left when he was 4 and thats me mad matie Moira's girl Bebhinn (pronounced Bevin its irish).......they were born only 2 weeks apart....



I love this photo so very very much......

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be looked at with such love......I think, I would hope, that I give out love to special people in me life by the bucket load, and its not given lightly....what I mean by that is when I say those words 'I love you' to whomever, it truely, purely, honestly means that I do..... and with those words comes the undeniable fact that I would just about do anything for the person that I give those words to.......

BUT......... I have NEVER in me whole long life, ever been looked at like Bebhinn is looking at my Jacob...... not with pure love, not with honest deep love...... maybe I never will...... who knows.......

So, what bought this all on...... well, ya see, my brain has so many memories stored about in files..... me brain is like a photo album stuffed full of me life and every single thing that has ever happened..... but like a bookcase full of books sometimes I need a 'jog' to remember things and what shelf they are stored on...... a word over heard can flash up memories from me head and lay them out before me on the table, things that seems as if only yesterday that memory was stored on the 2nd shelf....

So it was strange today, or this past few days, PTs funny posts about Marmitetoasty and love and then someone at school this afternoon called out to someone and I overheard the name Moira.... well its not a common name here, this aint Ireland ya know..... and I had this big whoooosh of memory, good memory, sad tearful memory, a memory as clear and crisp as fresh lettuce...... a memory of me dear matie mad Moira... so I came home and had to hunt for a few photos to go with those memories......

So thanks PT cos I think the things we have talked about and the memory jog today are connected....... ya see, love comes in many forms....... love from and of ones children, love of ones specal maties and hopefully love oneday of someone that will look at me the same way that Bebhinn is looking at my Jacob...... ya see...... one day me prince will come.......LOL

Anyways........ Bebhinn is the daughter of me matie mad Moira, the story of me matie is way to complex and complicated to post about...... suffice to say, we didnt know each other until our second children were born...... she has 4 kids almost the same ages as my boys..... except I have 4 boys and she has 3 boys and 1 girl..... our gardens use to back onto each other, the 4 children were like one, if they was not all at my house then they would all be at mad Moira's...... Ive never had a mad friend before...... I mean a real mad as in mental friend, as in she was diagnosed with some manic mental thing from when she was 12........ but in many ways it didnt affect her life UNTIL...... her hubby walked out and left her with her 4 kids about 6 months before my hubby walked out and left me with 4 kids LOL...... maybe it was a trend...... maybe it was the fashion of the time....... it was weird cos mad moira was married on the same day and the same year and at the same time as me and my X hubby..... except she was in London and I was here in this village....... we were still 4 or 5 years within meeting each other...... maybe it was fate, maybe it was a sign at just how strong and close and wonderful our friendship was to become......

Me matie was an amazing Art Teacher, but when she was left she completely lost the plot of life and all the wonders it still had in its hands for her........ she became lost in a world that I so couldnt understand, all I could do was to be there for her....... as I will be forever......



This day was so funny, Bebhinn and Jacob had got into Moira's shed and the tins of paint and they came to show me what they had been up to LMFAO...... I remember saying to Moira...... just tell me it aint gloss paint, please tell me its just emulsion lol...... I love this photo...... love it.....

Ya see....... I myself was struggling with the emotions and financial problems of 4 children and being dumped on the shitpile of life called single parenthood...... and when me matie Moira lost the plot of life by becoming a big drug taker to try and take away the pain........ she sold her house, the only stable bit of life her 4 kids had, and they were to be taken into care by the social services...... I asked her what she wanted to do.... what SHE wanted for herself to do........ she said she just needed time on her own....... time to sort out her life...... time to get to grips with everything over the years of madness........ she said she didnt want the children........ she couldnt cope....... she didnt wanna cope....... she said she wasnt me..... she couldnt bounce high enough......

There is no way in hells water that I would let these children, that were in fact just an extention of my family go into care....... so, we packed their clothes and bits and bobs and they all moved in with me and my 4 sons....... after all..... they was all like brothes and sister anyways, there had been inseperatable for years...... they were as one........ and 8 kids is just like having 4 kids, right? LOL



This was one spring day in me garden..... the feeding of the 5 thousand lol..... the friend on the far left that had come round for lunch didnt know what had hit him as these 8 children acted as one LOL.......

So, within 6 months of me trying to cope with my own rejection, I took on these 4 beautiful wonderful children that had always seemed a part of me life...... there is no way I would of let them go into care, not whilst there was breath in me body.......



You can see how close the children all were, people use to think I had 8 kids lol...... which bit of '4 of the kids were of a slightly darker colour' didnt they see lol....ya see, their father was anglo-indian......and Moira's kids had the most beautiful olive skin.... which got ligher with each child....we use to joke and say that her hubbys ink must of been running out by the 4th child LOL....... my Ben is missing from this picture cos he was on a school trip......

So....... me matie moved into a little flat overlooking the Itchen Toll Bridge as she struggled with her addiction and her mental illness...... and she would come and stay some weekends and I would go there and stay some weekends......

One night, I think it was the last night that I ever got truely rat-arsed...... remember now, I was raising 8 kids under the age of 16 on me own emotionally and financially...... ok so I deserved a drink lol...... well we got so rat-arsed that we decided that we could easily walk along the parapit of the Itchen Toll Bridge at Southampton, 30 foot above the raging river lol....... how we didnt die that night I will NEVER know, one slip and we would of plunged into the depths of the river lol..... that night we laffed and cried and laffed and remembered so very much fun and laughter we use to have with the kids....... and it was, I thought a turning point for me matie........

She bought a house in Southampton and realised that selling her home here in the village was a mistake, but she was ready to start afresh....... there is NOTHING I wouldnt of done for me matie and her children and there was NOTHING that she wouldnt of done for us.......

She then met a blokie and buggered off to Australia for 18 months taking the children with her....... it was to be the loneliest period of me life.... but I was so happy for her and the kids...... there was so many tears at the airport when I waved goodbye to them all....... and so many hugs and tears when 18 months later they came home......

But within a year, her depression had come back and she again lost the plot of life, she didnt wanna be a mum no more, she said dads just up and leave why cant mums just up and leave........ and that is what she did........ she packed her kids up and turned up at her X's house (whom had remarried and had a tiny little house with this woman and her 2 kids and a child they had between them) and she dropped the kids off at their fathers and said she was off to Australia to start on her own........not with the boyfriend.....she said I was mad for wanting to stick with a life of struggle and kid raising........ oh how wrong she was on that one.......

She said, she was not like me, she couldnt be what her kids needed, she didnt wanna be the one to struggle and cope and explain and couldnt cope with the pain....... and she upped and left...... without a backwards glance......

UNTIL last year, when I got home from the school run, she was sitting in me kitchen with a sarnie and a cuppa tea....... just as if 2 years had faded away....... and it was just as if it was the week before that I had seen her....... that is how close and special our deep true friendship was...... she knew, that I would ALWAYS be there for her, no matter how many years slipped away...... no matter if I hadnt heard from her for over 2 years...... no matter what.......

She stayed just over a week, the kids all came over and it was like old times only the kids were all so much older and bigger etc....... we laffed and cried and laffed and laffed......... and then I got up one morning and she was gone...... just a little note.......

I LOVE you Mel...... fanks for being you.......

I dont know if I will ever see me matie again...... I dont even know if she is alive..... or where she is living....... but I do know, that when she needs a friend, or a hand, or someone that understands..... she will turn up and be sitting in me kitchen with a sarnie and a cuppa tea when I come in from the school run......

That is a lifetime friendship........ I hope she is safe, I hope she is alive, I hope that oneday she finds what she needs from life, and I hope that oneday I can be apart of that madness again LOL.....

I miss me matie mad Moira....... and her kids...... she was not the only one robbed that day when she walked out of everyones lives......

Now, I DONT want you lot to think that Im a softie or whatever....... cos I aint...... and I have a 'well ard' reputation to uphold....... so keep all this under ya belt, ok?

Enough memory Twaddle for a wet Tuesday.......

x

On-Line Feline Surgery.......Ambrose Please Forgive Me.....

Ok................ I have this cat, actually I have 2, well, sort of 3, but one is like a part-time cat and lives somewhere else part of the year and tends to live with us in the winter..... anyways thats off track.......

I swore to meself about 20 years ago, that I would never love another animal after me mother had me dog put down to spite me, it was a dog that I had had when I was 16 and it became me best companion, I so loved that little dog, it was like me little bit love in a home that didnt have much...... its a long story, and I wont bore you with it on here, just suffice to say, that me little healthy dog was put down in a mean and spiteful act to try and punish me...... anyways, after the upset of that I said, I would never get attached to a little animal again....... cold hearted git I am...... but ya know me...... well it didnt last.... look at me love for Janet LOL and Eric to name a few.....

So one of me cats is called Ambrose...... Ive had Ambrose for 12 1/2 years...... I love this cat, I love this cat so much, that I would run into a burning building to save her......

She is a tail-less, skankie, scabby cat...... we are very well suited...... I love her and she LOVES me with a passion...... I can hardly go anywhere in me house or garden without her being at me feet.....and now with her and Janet Im surprised I aint fallen arse over tit tripping over the pair of them lol

So........ this morning when I walked down me stairs at 6.30 to bung the kettle on, imagine how me heart beat and the dread in me soul when I saw this.......



I thought she was dead.....

Jebus me heart almost stopped, I had this huge lump in me throat...... it stopped me dead in me tracks...... oh no, oh no, please, please, not Ambrose....... so I slowly walked up to the computer table to where she was hanging over the edge, sort of dangling and went to touch her thinking she would be all stiff and riggered into that bent shape, when I must of startled her, cos she shot about 3 foot in the air in fright LOL......... oh bloody hell she had just been sleeping lol........

When I thought she was dead, it bought back a memory of a few years ago....... ciara might be able to remember it LOL........... ya see....... I use to chat in this place that I call the 'Gloomies' whats where I became friends with that slag ciara..... a mix of people use to chat in there, many many disturbed people lol, but a handful of real lovely maties..........this was before I was shown the world of blobs and blobbers....

Well, one evening I was sort of chatting to a few maties in there, when me cat Ambrose wandered in from the garden and jumped up onto the computer table........ usually when Im on the computer she can be found here......





This is where Ambrose sits when Im on the computer...... she needs to be near me lol

So....... me cat jumps up onto this computer table and I notice that her head on one side is about twice the size it should be...... her face on one side was all swollen and her eye was amost swollen shut.......

Well, one of the maties that I use to chat with in the 'Gloomies' was some sort of Pig Vet Doctor Person...... quite a clever blokie in his field, and he had been me matie for a while, so I mentions that me cat's head and face was sort of BIG ..... so he tells me grab her and look at the face proper...... which I do, and I tell him that the whole side of her face is hard but twice the size and there was 2 little puncture marks on the swollen bit.......... so he reckons that me little skinny skankie tail-less scabby cat Ambrose had probably got bitten by another animal and had some absess on its cheek...... and he said, oh Mel thats easy to deal with......... so I says..... what, me deal with........ so this is what happened......

He told me to get a towel, a sharp pointie thing, and something to disinfect the wound, and he would talk me through on-line in this chat room, what to do LOL...... so I gather the tools of the trade except the only sharp instrument I could find was me bread knife and the only sterilizing thing I could think of was a bottle of bleach and a tiny bottle of gin....... I was not sure what he meant by something to disinfect the wound, but thought bleach and gin sounded about right, cos I knew bleach well cleans our loos and gin Ive seen them pour on a wound on a film on the telly...... :).......

So I grabs the cat in a towel like me chatroom matie is telling me via me computer screen....... he then told me to make a tiny incision in the swelling and to gently squeeze and the poison (hence the swelling) would squeeze out, he warned me that it would stink, and that when I had popped the absess and squeezed the swelling, to then apply the stuff to sterilize the wound....... he didnt ask me what I was gonna use, I presume he thought I knew what I was doing lol.....

Well........ you aint seen nuffin like it....... I grabs Ambrose, gently digs the bread knife into the swelling, squeezes it gently (see was NOT happy with this and starts to struggle) all the time gagging cos the smell from the oozing pus...... she is still struggling a little, but I did have her wrapped in a towel....... so then I apply the bleach and the gin mixture to the open cut.......... BIG BIG BIG BLOODY MISTAKE..........

Now, whether it was that she would of preferred a nice brandy or a lovely malt whiskey or that she just didnt like the bleach gin mixture on an open wound, I aint sure........ but she meowwwwwwwed soooooo loud that I let me grip of the towel loose and she begain really struggling and clawing..... so I grabbed her collar and she went mental....... she forgot that it was me, me that loved her, me that was only trying to help...... and she clawed and fought and scratched and hissed and bit and scratched...... all the time, I still have hold of her, scared shitless now to let go LOL..... well I eventually let go cos I thought she was gonna claw me face as well as me arm........ she shot out the catflat as such a speed that the 2 sec magnetic lock delay didnt have time to work and she took the door with her LOL........

When I looked at the mess before me, there was blood everywhere..... but not from Ambrose it was coming from me LOL....... she had clawed me arm and wrist and the blood was spurting from a cut on me wrist ....... gawds sake....had to apply direct pressure for yonks to stop the flow lol...... good job I know what to do in an accident emergency.... all that medic training comes in handy sometimes......

Well me matie on the screen was saying (well he was typing)......... talk to me Mel, whats happening, have you done it.... LOL....... so I thought I had better give him a rundown...... and all he could do was laff and take the piss........ GIN AND BLEACH you used gin and bleach, are you MENTAL lol......... so I logged off and went to find me cat....... she eventually came back in after about an hour........ by then I had stopped me wrist bleeding and I rang the AniMed Vets which is open all hours........ it was now late sunday evening and the vet told me to take the cat over to them which is about 14 miles away.......... Jebus, sunday evening out of hours, this was gonna cost me, BUT...... I love me cat and it didnt matter......

So we get to the vets and I relay what happened........ first of all he was a little cross with me, and then he laffed and laffed and laffed....... he actually said I had done quite a good job with me 'online feline surgery' but the best thing I could now do was to get meself down the hospital cos he thought I needed stitches in me wrist LOL....... so I asked him if he could do it to save me a trip, with which he almost creased up with laughter........ but the funny thing is, I was being serious lol......

So 'on-line feline surgery' cost me £150 ($300) for the vets bills for the out of hour appointment and the anti-biotics for Ambrose me cat........ and also cost me a 2 hour wait down the hospital and 5 stictches in me wrist...........

So after the frantic evening, I eventually got back home with me cat and me wrist stitched and I drank the rest of the gin LOL......

But ya know what........ Ambrose forgave me, cos she knows I love her, and I was only trying to help.......

She has no tail cos me twat neighbour caught her tail in his garage door and the vet had to cut it off to save her life....this was about 8 years ago.. and she has real bad skin cos she has Eczema.......she never wanders out of the garden and she loves people and she loves me especially......



She loves boxes...... remember that photo of her when she claimed the box with shredded paper that dear Starr had sent Cowie in......



She has to be next to me when Im in the garden, even if it means sitting in a flowerpot lol...



I know this is a little dark, but Ambrose and Janet me chicken have become firm friends...... and usually where one can be found you will find the other......

Did I ever tell you, THIS IS ONE CRAZY BLOODY HOUSE......

Soooooooo......... if ya have any pets that need sussing and sorting, I have bleach and gin :)...... and a little scar on me wrist to prove me mentalness that Sunday night a couple of years ago LOL

No more 'On-Line Feline Surgery' for me....... EVER......

Way way to much boring twaddle for a summer solstice evening.......

x

To My Father - I Should Hate You But I Dont, I Cant....I Love You...

Ok....... What you have to remember is that my father for whatever reasons in his life, was, towards his family and very noticeably towards me, a differnt man to what he was towards his friends and work collegues....... he was funny and witty and very well respected in his field...... why he changed when he walked through the door of his home, when ever he came home..... I do not know....... I can only presume he didnt want to be there......maybe it was the war that changed him, or his father leaving his mother for another woman, maybe thats what made him bitter, maybe its cos he knew his marriage to my mother was a mistake....... he should of just leant how to channel his anger in another way, instead of towards me......

So Dad, this is for you......



I wish I had known you then dad, when you was a young man of 19 and going off to war..... with your whole life lay out infront of you, was it the war that changed you dad?...... I wish I could of known the man that your were then, the one that I have been told, was oh so funny, and loved people and cared about everyone that was a part of your life....do you think thats where I get me fun side from dad?....do you think thats your legacy to me...... I know you knew love inside you then dad, cos the words on the back of this old photo that you sent to your mum, well, they speak volumes of the young man you were.......'To mum, hoping that you like this photo, please keep it safe in your heart, All my love... Reg xxxxx' - so I know dad that inside, you had a heart...... I so wish I had known you then dad.....

Even through all the beatings all the weeks of silences where you wouldnt even acknowledge my presence in a room, even through all those hours you shut me in the cupboard under the stairs, even through all those birthdays and christmases that you never said a kind word let alone bought me a present, even through all those birthdays and christmases of my brothers when I would sit quietly and watch my brothers open presents upon presents knowing there was nothing under the tree for me, even through all those times you would look at me with disgust and loathing, even through all the vile nasty words you spoke to me...... I LOVED YOU...... from a young age, I knew that you were angry, not with me, but with the world, or the circumstances you found yourself it...... but I loved you....... and I told you, and you never acknowledged a single word I spoke......

If I ever asked for anything, I would get a beating, so I stopped asking...... I know you wanted me to break down and beg and plead for you to stop beating me.... I know I was stubborn and I know that I use to stare you out, and never cry, I knew that made you angryer....... but, you were you Dad and you had your reason and I was me, and I could not allow you or anyone to take away my soul and spirit..... I knew that would walk me through life, so I clung to it, and you were not allowed to take it from me.....

I LOVE you dad for loving my sons the way that I would of loved to have been loved by you...... I love you for giving them memories of a kind man, a gentle man, a funny man, a grandad that I so needed you to be to my sons.......

I loved you when you let me back into you life, when my sons were younger, even though I know you were using me cos you were bored and growing old and felt alone.... I loved you when I knew all the nasty things you were saying behind my back to my brothers, you played us all against each other dad, for what means I will never know........ you distroyed a strong bond that we all had, we meaning me and our Paul who was 2 years older then me...... dad, I loved you even though I knew what you were trying to do.....



Remember this photo dad, my sons are laffing cos you were making them laff behind the camera...... they loved you Dad, so very much..... they not only loved you, they needed you......

You broke there hearts dad, the day you chose to no longer be apart of our lives again, you broke their hearts, but I would not let you break their souls...... but I thank you for the few short years when I was truely proud that you were my father and were their grandfather, even though I knew it was for your own gain......



See this picture dad, this was taken the day that you were being cremated in Scotland, we were not to be there, we were told that you didnt love us and it would be best not to attend....... siblings aye dad, they must of inherited the nasty side of you......... so this picture was taken just an hour after we sat in a tiny chapel in Cornwall, a tiny chapel clinging to the side of the cliffs, which now is quite apt, cos I had clung to the hope that you would love me all my life....... so we said our sad goodbyes to you there that day, at the same time that everyone else sat in a church in Scotland to say their goodbyes....... but ya see, it dont matter where those goodbyes were said, its how they were said and with how much love and feeling they were said, no matter how far away......... so we each, dad, Ben, Tom Sam and Jacob and me lit a candle for you and sat in this little chapel on our own and talked about you and the funny things you did with my boys..........and the love that we all had for you...... did you hear us dad...... could you hear our voices on the wind.....

I'll never tell them dad of the man you were towards me....... I will not break their hearts again like the day you broke their hearts by walking away from their lives....... they are great lads for knowing you as the fun grandad that had loved them if only for a short time......

So this picture was taken just an hour after we said our goodbyes....... dont they look sad......... and no, it was not cos I clippered there long hair to crewcuts lol.......

Just know dad that those 4 children, have grown to be the most wonderful sons, yeah, they have hiccups in life, and its not always easy.....life has given us so many challenges to face in life.......and we find ourselves alone again, just the 5 of us...... but ya know what I learnt from you dad......by being the opposite of you....... I learnt that it was better to face ones fears and work things out, instead of taking it out on others....... face the music they say..... and thats what we do..... we face it everyday dad, every single day, but ya know what, we face it together, hand in hand, as one..... we will NEVER let go of the love that we have towards each other......



Look at em, aint they just wonderful, its been a long hard road dad, and Im almost there, at the end........ and Ive done it through love and understanding, not beatings and vile words......

Dad, you would of loved these fine young men that my boys have become, and I know that they would of loved you.....think how more enriched they would of been in life if you had stayed a part of it.....think of the fun you would of had as you grew old and sick, think of the smiles and laughter my sons would have given you, think of all the love that you missed out on....... if only you had held out your hand, you know we would of taken it....... no matter what....

I would like to think deep down that you knew now much I loved you, even through all the horrendous things you did to me in life....... thank god, if there is one, that I had the strength not to crumble, not to fall and stay down, but to be proud of who I was and who I was to become....... ya see, no one will ever take my heart, my soul or my humour...... ever..... you couldnt....... you tried....... I was to strong for you......



All I have of you dad is that pair of glasses you are wearing lol...... oh and a few old photos...... and memories good and oh so bad..... but I hold on to the fact that life maybe dealt you a bad hand, and you didnt know or have the strength to deal with it in any other way then you did......

I miss you Dad, and through everything, I hold you close in my heart...... I wish you were here....... I miss and I love you Dad with all I have......

And when I look out to sea (all I know is that where my siblings scattered your ashes) I think of you Dad and what you so missed out of in life, and Im so sad for you, for the man that you couldnt be, for the love that you felt you didnt need.....

I know you cant read this dad..... I know you aint here..... but I can read it....and Im still here....

I LOVE YOU DAD - sleep sweet......HAPPY FATHERS DAY xx

ok..... way to much tear shedding twaddle for one day.....

Mrs Fix It Thats Me - Gag Gag Gag Gagging......

Ok.........I apologise in advance, and if you have a weak tummy DONT read.....you have been warned....

So I didnt go out this morning, except to do the school runs, I had me bookwork to sort.... so no amount of nagging from me maties would make me change me mind........ soooooo IT MUST OF BEEN FATE........ cos....

My Ben and Tom are on holiday in Spain, Jacob was at school and Sam was getting ready for college......he, Sam, was poncing around in the bathroom doing his hair, when I hear....... MUM, MUM, when I flush the loo it just fills up to the top with water, and now it wont go away........ so I shouts back up....... oh jebus, DONT flush it again, cos it will overflow......

So, I flushes the downstairs loo, and it fills up and doesnt go away......... PANIC..... oh jebus oh jebus....... me shouting..... Sam you had better get down here NOW...... but Im doing me hair.......... Sod ya hair, get down here NOW.........

By now panic had started to enter my brain, both loos full of water that means one thing........ the drain in the garden must be blocked...... oh no, oh no...... what to do, what to do...... so I rings me matie Sharon cos her hubby is a fireman, and they can sort out anything right?........ well he was not in, so me matie tells me to lift the drain cover and have a look inside and tell her whats what ........ so now to work out how to open the drain cover, first of all move ALL the huge pots of plants off the top that would help lol........ so with a little garden trowel and a screwdriver that I found under the sink (as you can tell we dont really have TOOLS), I managed to lift the cover........ HOLY SH*T.......... that is what presented itself to me LOL............. the drain was full up with *cough* not nice water lol and I could tell those floaters were NOT mine cos they was huge......... by now Im gagging, and I run back to the phone to report the find to Sharon me matie, who once told was laffing and laffing with the poo jokes......... well Mel they say Sh*t sticks and it looks like its your turn lol.......




Ok, Ok, Mel think, this is how my brain is ticking........ to ring Dyno-Rod the blocked drain people costs about $200 just to call them out..... no way...... I know, old Mr Foote that lives opposite he is old and has every tool one can imagine, I'll go ask him if he has a plunger thingie lol what I was gonna do with a plunger thingie I had no idea LOL

This is what old Mr Foote gave me........



Only old Mr Footes came in a faded shade of red...... he handed me them as I blank stared at him..... you just join them and shove it down the drainhole and wiggle around and it should unblock whatever it is blocking the drain..........you mean 'I' have to do this myself?........ so off I toddle back across the road, poles, or rods as Mr Foote called them in me arms, hoping that whoever had used them before had at least bleached them......

Ok, I can do this, so I pick the phone back up, cos me matie was on hold lol...... and she is by now laffing so much....... so I put the phone down, maties aye, where are they when ya up to ya neck in poo? LOL my last words to her were, wish me luck, Im going in....... lol

I can do this, right? Im a woman on me own, cos Sam was laffing and buggered off to college...... so I lock me back gate so the postman dont come wandering in with me mail while Im up to me eyes in poo, cos that would be well embarrassing lol.......

I got the screwie looking end and screwed it to a plain pole...... and with me rubber gloves on and a scarf tied around me face and me wellies on I proceed to poke and prod until the screwie bit disappear down a hole........ now did Mr Foote mean for me to wiggle or to wiggle the rods lol.......... oh well, to hell with it, I was gagging and wiggling for about 5 minutes when.......... hey presto.......... gurgle gurgle bubble bubble whooooooooshhhhhh, all water and floaties disappeared, now the trick was to try and get the rods out cos it seemed slightly stuck lol



This is what the drain looked like after I unblocked it lol gagging.......

Oh Lordy, why me....... I think I know why......... I think it was cos yesterday I made a joke to a matie on a blob about 'her plumbing' and someone sorting it out....... but I didnt mean 'plumbing' as plumbing but as in internal plumbing lol....... ok you wont understand that....... but today was a sign not to joke about things like that.......

Eventually I pulled and pulled and the rods came out with babywipes clogged on the end........ there was the culprits.......... bloody babywipes....... I keep telling me lads NOT to use babywipes down the loo...... phew....... sussed and sorted.......

So after 3 bottles of bleach down the drains and all inside loos flushed about 20 times, I THINK I have it done....... see, no need to call Dyno-rod.......

I scrubbed and scrubbed me hands even though they didnt come into contact with any floaters.......

Then I rang me matie Sharon back........ this is the conversation......

Me - Hey Sharon its me....

Sharon - Hello pooie... giggles, did you sort it?

Me - Well, I need some help.....

Sharon - I cant come round, I dont do poo...... and I aint got the car today.. so, why cant you sort it?

Me - Well, I shoved the stick things down the drain and it gurgled and all of a sudden all this dirty pooie water bubbles up over the top of the drain and is flowing under me neighbours gate.......

Sharon - OMG you are in deep sh*t now ...... giggles, high pitched laffs......

Me - Sharon this is NOT FUNNY..... they have our poo flowing under there back gate.....

Sharon - Just turn the hose on and it will dilute it LMFAO........

Oh she thought it very very funny......

Me - So, you cant come round and help........

Sharon - nope....... laffs giggles laffs....... I dont do floaters.....

Me - Well, you wait, just you wait until you are up to your eyes in poo...... dont ring me as a saviour lol

Sharon - you sussed and sorted it Mel didnt you......I always thought you would make a great sh*t shoveller...

Me - Yes, but Im gagging........

Sharon - You bitch, I was racking me brains trying to think who to ring to come round and help...... I thought about Gordon, but after the Eric problem I thought it best not to lol

Me - Sod off....... puts phone down.....

So, I replace the drain cover and scrub off the rods and scrub and scrub me hands..... I come back in the house to where I had left Sprite..... safe with stair gate etc so she couldnt escape, only to find her COVERED in....... something brown and stickie........... holy sh*t...... I had visions of her taking her dirty nappy off and thats what the stickie stuff was......... ya see...... I have such a cold that I have not only lost the hearing in one ear but I have lost me sense of smell....... so I had no clue as to what THIS STUFF was....... phew though....... she had only found one of the chocolate biscuits that one of the minded kids from yesterday must of dropped in one of the toy boxes lol........

So, alls well that ends well.......... if anyone needs there pipes flushed through lol just ring me........ if ya have a blockage, dont bend over, just ring me....... problems with poo overflowing from ya drains into ya neighbours..... DONT RING ME......

Why cant I just have one day, just ONE DAY where things dont go wrong..... where there is peace and calm in me life........ aye aye? gawds sake........ Im dreading the school run, cos the poo jokes will be bouncing lol......bloody maties......

To much dirty Twaddle for a Thursday....

PS..... what I forgot to mention was, after I put the phone down the first time, I pressed 1471 which automatically puts ya through to the last number that rang, so when it clicks on this is what I say.......... YOUR RIGHT, KNEE DEEP IN POO, FLOATERS EVERYWHERE......... when this little voice says........ I beg your pardon......... CRIPES... It had only rang the last number to ring my house, which was Sams friend, and it was his mum that got my message about the poo LMFAO........ shaking me head...... I really should wait for someone to answer before I blab me big mouth off lol - I just put the phone down....... maybe they wont know its me lol

x

PPS...... NO POO REALLY WENT UNDER THE GATE INTO MY NEIGHBOURS, IT WAS JUST SAID TO MY FRIEND TO MAKE HER FEEL GUILTY FOR LAFFING AT ME AND NOT RUSHING AROUND TO HELP ...... :) no poo or gates or gardens were injured in this story...... x

In Honour Of My Jacob's 14th Birthday........

Ok........... I wanted to post this on Sunday but was unable to, what with birthday celibrations and stuff..... so today, its better late then never........

Ya see, on the 10 June 1993 the most precious child came into my life, not that my other 3 sons are not precious, but this child, this Jacob Ethan Harry W~~~~~s, had a glow about him from the minute he was born...... and it has stayed with him all these years, I know you will not understand what Im waffling about, but I do, and everyone that meets Jacob says the same.....

10 June 1993, in the very early hours of the morning, I knew our child was on his way, a fortnight late, I knew he was waiting those extra hours, so that he was NOT born on his fathers birthday which is 9 June..... Jacob even back then must of had a vibe LOL - so I dropped our other 3 sons off at maties houses and my now X drove to the hospital and dropped me off with words of.... 'I have to get to work, call me if you need me'....... just about says it all right lol

Well he just about made it back in time to see Jacob born..... he weighed 10 lb exactly and he was 2 foot long when he was born...... he was the biggest of all my 4 sons..... yet as he grew he became the smallest lol..... he was always tiny compared to his friends and he was nicknamed 'MIM' by his brothers..... meaning 'minimum' the smallest lol

I bought him home when he was about 6 hours old....... my X picked us up, picked our other 3 sons up from me maties and dropped us all off home, and went back to work..... he worked for his father and it was their busy season LMFAO....... I could say so much but I wont....... but I knew then that things would never be the same again...... me and my 4 sons stood on the front door step and watched him just drive back to work, not even a cuppa tea was made LOL........ such was life.....

He looked so much like Jasper Carrot when he was a few months old, and he was a fairly funny looking baby..... but he grew into the most gorgeous looking lad...



Here he is LOL aint he funny looking and the spitting image of Jasper Carrot LOL

We was such a good baby and toddler..... amazingly so....

He had the same shirley temple curls like me and my Sam had, until he was 3 and they were cut and never returned......

<

This is an old photo of all 4 of me lads when Ben(left) and Tom(right) were in the Naval Cadets FieldGun Crew.... Sam(in the hat) had not long been out of hospital after 8 weeks in traction for smashed legs.... and the navy made Sam and Jacob mascots of the HMS Dryad Crew...... Sam actually got to ride out at the shows and at Earls Court in London on the back of the gun lol....... you can see Jacobs curls in this picture....... see his cute uniform LMFAO...




Jacob loved the sea from very tiny...

He was one of the younger ones to start proper school, he was barely 4 when I dressed him in his school uniform and packed him off to school...... some of the kids in his class were 11 months older...... and he did struggle a little with his work.....

This Child, has the most amazing gift in life......... he has the gift of compassion to others and empathy and has the most amazing thoughts about injustice and when there have been disagreements he has been the one that has thought rationally and has come up with other ideas how to solve problems, be it his maties falling out or little things at home......

When his father left, I would wake in the night and find him snuggled up in my bed...... I would find little notes left in the fridge and in cupboards..... little notes that just read ' I LOVE you ' .....which I have kept to this day...

He is such a joy to be around, everyone says the same....... there is something about him that brings calm and peace and when I look at this child my heart overflows and it can often bring me to tears, just with the pure pure love that I have for this child.......

He loves animals with a passion and can calm down even the wildest dog, animals will come to him and sit on his lap and they just 'know' that he wont hurt them..... on saying that he also loves feeding live creatures to his scorpion lol......

He loves to climb, and has since he was a tot........ and if you ask him what he wants to do when he has left school, he will say...... I want to go to Sparshot College and train to be a 'tree surgeon'...... I dont wanna work inside a building, I wanna work outside, doing things with my hands, I would love to work for the Forestry Commission...... or, he says, he would love a job with animals......

He has soooooo many friends, both girls and boys and is very well loved by everyone........ he has this gift.........

He is a protector of hearts and souls.....and he is VERY protective towards me... he will fight tooth and nail to help anyone that needs a hand, or a kind word....... he will talk things through if there is a problem....... he is not a fighter he is a talker and can, amongst his friends always defuse arguements with his thought provoking words...... he is a problem solver....... he listens to what people say and he spins it around in his head, and he comes up with suggestions........ from a young age he has thrown out suggestions to friends in disagreements........ suggestions meaning, he doesnt tell them how to solve their problems, but he gives them pointers to solve them themselves........ and for a child to do that ....... I think....... is a gift......



Jacob at 4 years old....



Jacob at 12 years old....

He likes sports and music, but nothing has ever grabbed him like his brothers, they are all musical etc........ he tried cricket and did well, but he knew it was not his passion, as he did football, rugby and Tchoukball..... he wasnt interested in playing any musical instrument...... and then just over a year ago HE FOUND HIS PASSION......... he joined a trampoline club at Havant Leisure centre, mainly cos, we have had a big oblong trampoline in the garden for over 18 years..... and I caught him jumping off the top of the shed onto the trampoline and doing a somersault over the neighbours fence LOL so I thought I would channel that into a club...... he had only been there a few months when I was called in, and told that Jacob is doing moves and turns that he shouldnt even have in his head and they would like to send him to be accessed by trained coaches....... we went last august to Southampton where they have an olympic training squad for up and coming nippers........ and he was taken under their wing........ so since August last year we have been doing this 5 hours round trip to this other club every monday evening after all the minded kids have gone..... they have talked about 2012 olympics and he has outshone all expectations.......... EXCEPT........ he told me a few weeks ago that he really doesnt wish to go into all the competitions for the next few years..... he just wants to do his trampolining as fun, and he said he doesnt enjoy the competitions........ so this term we are having a break from the squad and he is just going to the club at Havant where it all started, they have told me that he has inspired so many others, that they hope he never stops going there........ as far as the squad goes, well, the choice is his........ I would never force him to do something he didnt want to......... he knows what he wants out of life..... so hopes of him being in the olympics are on hold......... his choice........ no matter what he chooses to do with his trampolining, I will go with him on his choice.......



This is Jacob prepping for a somersault...

Everynight as this child, young man, goes to bed, he says....... nite mum..... and when he gets to the second flight of stairs up to his little bedroom in the attic, he will shout down....... I love you mum..... and every night as I reply, I have tears in my eyes...... I dont ever want that to end.... ever..... but I know that oneday it will.....

Jacob is amazing with my minded kids...... they have always been apart of his life since he was born lol...... me minded kids were back the day after he was born lol......

He loves camping and scouts and bonfires.......





He loves rack of ribs and when we have been out for dinner that is what he always chooses lol



This is him a couple of years ago with his ribs at this 'american themed' eating place called The Smith And Western' in Chichester....

Over this last year he has grown over a foot in height, he now towers over all the friends thats a couple of years ago he was just a midget......

So Sunday was his birthday....... he had the bike that I posted about all those months back....... and he loved it......

http://marmitetoasty.blogspot.com/2007/03/sometimes-i-worry-about-my-sanity.html



when I asked him what he would like to do to celibrate his birthday this year (last year we went paintballing), he said he would like to go ice skating and then have his maties back for a BBQ...... so that is what we did.........



I know this is a little dark, its Jacob in the middle with just a handful of his maties that we took ice-skating, see how tall he is now compared to everyone else LOL.....

This child has grown from a beautiful caring lad to the most amazing loving, wonderful young man of 14....... he only has me and his brothers as family........ god knows what he would have been like with a father in his life, or a father figure...... I know he would of LOVED to of had a 'dad figure' around, there is only so much I can do........ I aint a dad, I aint even a substitute for a dad.......

On Sunday when I watched my son with his friends, and watched him laff and joke around and watched how he was with people, I so wanted someone to be standing next to me, to be holding my hand, to understand and watch him with the same eyes, with the same proud heart, with the soul that I have...... I so wanted someone to share this precious boy....... I so wanted someone else to love him the way I do...... and feel inside how proud I am of whom Jacob has and is becoming..........

He never asks for things....... but he asked if I would make him the gooey sickly double chocolate cake with strawberries and melted chocolate with sweets sprinkled on top, as his birthday cake lol....... its healthy right lol well it does have strawberries on it....



Here is the cake LOL.....

And, he was holding a girls hand whilst ice skating........ he can bloody well stop that lol....... ;)



As he blew out the candles, and he made his wishes, I made my own wishes and my dreams for this boy....... I hope they come true....

Jacob, I love you, and honour your bithday and the day your were given to me,with all I have....I honour the wonderful person you are and the wonderful man you will become, I just wish I could give you the world, instead I just have me to give......

I just hope it has been enough, I just hope it has........

There is so much I want to say, but I will keep it in my heart..... for now....

ok way to much Twaddle, cos no one will fully understand this post........ but I do, and thats all that matters......

x

Addiction and Begging....So I Aint Perfect - Does It Look Like Im Bovvered...

Ok......... I will admit, I have an addiction... and there is nuffin I can do about it...... and mores the point..... I dont want to, Im happy with me addiction, it does no harm to anyone..... so, if it aint a problem to anyone but me, then its harmless, right?.......

But, you see, the thing is, I have run out of the substance that makes me smile, that takes me high, that makes me soar to heights that only I can fully understand........ and only YOU me doodle maties can help me....... you are the only ones that I know will be able to provide me with the means to carry on with my habit.......

So....... this is where the begging bit comes in...... ya see, from a very abusive childhood and an incident in 1973 where begging got me nowhere, I swore that never again would I beg to anyone for anything in life........ but here I am.... having to beg, I can see no other path to help me with this addiction of mine......

Ya see, when we was in the states a couple of summers ago, I came across this stuff that I just loved....... it made my throat hot and my eyes roll with tears....... so I bought home 3 jars of it....... but now alas through my addiction and continual use, I find myself without so much as a single bit left....... Ive hunted everywhere in this country to find a replacement, but NUFFIN comes up to scratch, nuffin is a patch of the doodle stuff.......

So please....... please, Im begging one of you, all of you, anyone one you know of ......... could you please hunt your shops, your store cupboards, steal from your grandmas your parents your family, or even from your local grocery shop..........I dont care how you get it, but Im willing to pay huge dosh for.....

THIS............



It HAS to be this exact make, this flavour, this jar..... IT HAS TO BE the same.... Ive tried something similar, but its no use, it doesnt take me to that high of MMMMmmmm-ness.......that numb lip-ness....

Ya see, I sprinkle this when Im steaming salmon steaks, I strinkle this when Im steaming me parsnips lol....... I had to eat salmon last week, without me sprinkling of this substance....... and I ended up giving it to the cats.......

So, please if anyone out there could take the time and effort to track down the culprit and be kind enough to post a jar or two to me...... I would of course pay all buying and posting costs incurred....... BUT I CANT LIVE without this in me life........ and Im tried all alternatives that we have here.......

So......... short and sweet........ not me usual run of the mill Twaddle....... but a begging post..... can you see me on me knees? no? well thats cos I aint lol......

Go forth and do your best...... Im counting on ya..... and that should be an honour cos I usually only ever count on meself........ so you can see how hard it has been for me to beg........

ok, enough begging Twaddle for a Monday........ I have another post half written but it keeps bringing me to tears, so it might be a few days late, and it was something that I so wanted to post yesterday..... life aye ;) - x

COWIE Has Arrived And I Think She Loves It Here .....

Ok......... I dont know how many of you go and read the Dingleberries site.... which is a little newspaper online sort of site from the Spokane area in Washington State, you know, right over left of the Staples....... well I love the site and have found many wonderful people and blobs via the Dingleberries.......

Well a few months back now.... Davie Boy the 'bloke in charge' had a picture on the site of a dead elk thing that someone had snapped whilst out and about..... well, I made a comment on the picture bit and said something like.......'Oh could someone get me the skull' ........ I was serious, even though I realised that it was just pie in the sky............ BUT OH NO IT WAS no pie in the sky, it wasnt even no bloody rhubarb crumble in the sky.........

Cos this dear dear chappie ((((Starr))))) read me comment and commented that he had an elkie skull that he would be willing to post to me once all the dangly bits of fur and flesh had been burnt off.......... well I could hardly contain me excitement.......

Ok, what you have to remember is that to most people I probably aint the normal run of the mill person....... I think by now most have realised that...... well, we have a handful of little skulls balanced on the beams in me kitchen...... ya know, just like a badger and a little deer, and a mouse lol and a rabbit and some as to what we dont have a clue.......

I tell me minded nippers when they ask, that they are the heads of minded kids that didnt eat their dinner....... I never have a problem with me minded kids now NOT eating all their dinners LOL...... fear is good, right?

So began the story of elkie........ Starr lobbed him in a bonfire to burn off all the dangly bits but elkie broke...... I thought it was all to good to be true......... when....... Starr emailed me to say that even though elkie was all broken, he could get hold of a cow head for me :)........ so thats how COWIE came about....... Starr not only found Cowie, but he said he would post it to me..... all this from someone that I didnt even know..... a kind soul, a dear chappie that I think realised that maybe Im a bit of a nutter..... and ya know that nutters have to be kept amused, right? LOL

Well Cowie was gonna cost a fortune to fly over via an aeroplane, so I suggested that Starr post it so that it comes via land and sea....... even though it would take 6 weeks or so....... it didnt matter......... an that is exactly what dear Starr did........ he packed Cowie up in a computer box with all shredded paper stuff and declared her 'WESTERN ART' on the customs forms :)......... I asked him to write the value as under 30 quid so I would NOT have to pay bugger loads of Import Tax this end........

You still with me :) its well worth the wait lol

So we waited and waited and Starr did some lovely posts on his blob about Cowie......

Well over here I told all me maties about the iminent arrival of Cowie....... they laffed and laffed and well took the piss out of me and said...... Mel...only YOU would want a bloody dead cow head LOL....... Cowie was becoming such a celebritey before she even had docked in England.......

SOOOooooooooooooo Cowie arrived over the weekend....... in the computer box just as Starr had told me she would........ but I could not open the box, I had promised my Jacob that if it arrived when he was not around then I would wait for him to get in, and we would open it together, he was just as excited as me :)..... weeks and weeks the talk in this house and amongst me maties has been about Cowie....... well Jacob was out all weekend and I had been gagging to open her box......... and finally me lad came home on Sunday and we was able to open the box and see Cowie for the first time............

Oh my goodness........... she did NOT disappoint.........as we lifted her out from the tangle of shredded paper she seemed to smile at us with her HUGE gob and beautiful row of teeth..... now, you lot are probably laffing just like me maties have been and thinking that I must of been out in the sun to long....... but believe me........ I LOVE this Cowie........ :)......

And ya see, a few weeks ago, I told Starr that when Cowie arrived from the States, I would take her out and about and show her 'my world' LMFAO......... and that is exactly what I have done in the couple of days that she has been here...... and will be doing over the coming months........ me and me maties are making it our mission to take her to visit as many places as possible and take photos of her enjoying her life now in England :).....

Ya think Im mental right? well, does it look like Im bovvered LMFAO......

So yesterday, was her first day out..... we was only out for an hour, cos she had a bit of ship-lag LOL

I took her down the lanes and showed her a little of me countryside........ and here are a few pictures of Cowie yesterday enjoying herself........



This is Cowie sitting under one of our little sign posts down the lanes..... :) - See where it says 'The Bat and Ball' well thats actually the name of a pub lol, its on Broadhalfpenny Down which is just up the lanes a little way and its famous for being the birth place of Cricket...... but everyone calls the area The Bat and Ball, hence the signpost for the pub and NOT Broadhalfpenny Down LMFAO - we be a funny lot over here.....



This is Cowie when we stopped for a rest, she was sitting under the wild dog-roses and was just looking across a farmers field... :)



This is cowie hanging on the Worlds End sign ..... ya know, the sign I took a picture of the other week and that dear Toadie nicked and used on his blob....... I took this picture of Cowie on the Worlds End sign just so that you can see that the sign is well real and not just a picture I had found upon the internet ...... :)



Here is Cowie hanging from one of our wooden 'Footpath' signs...... these are wooden signs on the side of the road showing anyone that one has a right of passage across a farmers field..... our countryside is famous for having hundreds upon hundreds of little signs pointing the way that one is allowed across fields and they all interconnect...... Cowie especially liked the poppies LOL ........ :)

Hope your still with me....... cos today was JUST THE FUNNIEST EVER........ I had to go to MAKRO which is like this biggish warehouse shop...... ya have to get there via the dead badger lanes...... so I rings me matie Sharon and tells her where Im off to and does she want to come or does she need owt from this shop........... I'll come she says, come and pick me up...... and this is the funny bit....she says........ AND BRING COWIE, we will show her around the shop LMFAO......

So I loaded up me 3 nippers and placed Cowie on a lovely fluffy Ikea blanket in the boot, and I nips round to pick me matie Sharon up with 2 nippers....... and off we go....... we did look out for any dead badgers on the way, we actually drove fairly slow in case we missed any, but there was non to be seen today........

Well, we get to this HUGE Makro shop, ya know, its one of them shops (wholesale) where ya have to have a membership card to get in..... so we find 2 trolleys with 2 baby seats in them and Ellis said he would walk....actually we didnt find them we confiscated them off of these 2 people that didnt have kids with them, cos the trolleys with the baby seat in this particular place are few and far between...... we couldnt find any, when we saw these people across the carpark, and me matie says to me....... go get them baby trolleys off them people that aint got kids, dam bloody cheek of them for nicking the only nipper trolleys...... these people were not to happy, so I pretended that they had been spotted on the CTV cameras and would be apprehended once inside the shop for not having kids with them, so it was best to hand them over...... LOL - this started the first round of giggles from me and Sharon...... so, we place Cowie in the trolley, cos of course she was gonna have a look around and we was gonna take photos of her enjoying herself LMFAO....... but the man on the door took one look at us with 5 little nippers and took one look at cowie and said........ WTF you cant bring that in here....... I said, Cowie was a visiter and it was to hot to leave her in the car........ he said....... I dont care how hot it is.....she aint coming in here..... now get her OUT....... lmfao hahahahahaha - by now me and Sharon was in fits of laughter...... so we went out the door and wrapped cowie up in the Ikea fluffy blanket.... and tried again......... smiling sweetly at the blokie on the door............. he said......... DO YOU FINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY....... I know she is under that blanket...... SHE AINT COMING IN lol......... so we had to admit defeat and leave Cowie in the car whilst we got what we needed in the shop........

But before loading me car up, I had an idea....... we sat all the kids in the boot of me car, and I went to the front seat to get Cowie..... when I heard Sharon having a karfuffle with some people at the back....... these people only thought that we was shoving the kids in the car boot and was gonna drive home with them all in the boot LMFAO oh my goodness, its all I could do to stop meself piddling me pants where I was laffing so much...... these people was getting a tad irrate cos me and Sharon couldnt say anything cos we couldnt speak through the tears of laughter LOL........ in the end Sharon just told them to bugger off and mind there own business lol.......

So here I have a picture I LOVE.........in the boot of me car in the carpark outside of Makro.... :)



As you can see, Cerys was scared to death of Cowie, then there is Sprite, Ellis who is holding Cowie was mega chufted and LOVES her, then Scabby Jack didnt give a toss one way or another and then Just Jack had a monk-on cos he wanted to hold Cowie...... :)



In this picture you can see the Ikea fluffy blanket that we used to try and smuggle Cowie into Makro LMFAO.......

So ((((((((Starr)))))))) if you could only know how grateful I am, that you took the time all those months ago to read me comment on Dingleberries..... and start a ball rolling that is gonna give us soooooo much fun and laughter, as we take Cowie to all parts of the South of England....... next week we are taking her to the Beach at Southsea LMFAO..... so I thank you from the bottom of my heart......... and even though me maties think/know Im bonkers....... I think they to are gonna get so much fun out of Cowie as we begin our mission of showing our Doodle Cow Skull the sights and sounds of Southern England.......... we will take many photos and keep you all updated of Cowies adventures....

Starr you truely are a 'STAR'.....

And talk about recycling...... one of me cats, ya know, scabby tail-less skanky cat that I LOVES.... climbed in the box with the shredded paper and has now claimed this box as her own :).....



See, nuffin goes to waste in this house :)

Much much Twaddle for a hot and sunny but laughter filled Wednesday.......

x

Im All Bleedin Heart - All Waifs and Strays Welcome...Gawds Sake...

Ok........ remember Eric a few posts back...... well sometimes these things are meant to be...... as sad as it was to let Eric go, we knew he was going to a more comfortable pad, a place where he could stretch out and ponder on life and its meanings....

Well, no sooner had Eric departed, the very next day something happened that must of been meant to be....... Erics house was empty, cleaned out and awaiting a new occupant.......

scene set......

Back in the week I was just dishing dinner up when I heard my Tom out the back, saying....... drop it will you, DROP IT...... christ sake let go, dont make me have to bop ya nose..... I thought, who the hell is he talking to.... who the hell was in me garden that he was gonna have to bop their nose........

Further investigation lead to me opening the back door to be confronted with my Tom holding FatCat by the scruff of his neck.......FatCat was all a bristle and was making these well strange growling noises......... now you have to realise that Fatcat is, well, a Fatcat with a belly beard, he is loved and cherish and thinks he is a dog...... he never strays from the garden, as do neither of me cats and is one of the most friendliest scaredy cats out.........he is a big pussy lol



This is Fatcat.... as you can see, when I am on the computer, he snuggles up in a ball and sits next to the keyboard.....I finks he loves me, and when I am home he is never more then a few feet from wherever I am lol

So, I says, Tom what ya doing to Fatcat.......... mum he's got something in his mouth and he wont give it up........ so with that I gently pull his tail, just gently you understand..... and he opens his mouth, to reveil.......... A LITTLE FIELD MOUSE....... shaking and quivering...... and slightly chewed.... just lying there flopped still on the path....... so Tom picks it up to inspect it and see how chewed it is and if its infact still alive......

He was still alive, and just slightly chewed, so my Tom puts him on his arm, and thats how Chewie came to be living in Erics old home....... ya see, we couldnt just brush him off and let him go in the garden cos Fatcat was right on his tail ;) he would of grabbed him in a whisper and next time he wouldnt of been so lucky and would of been fully chewed instead of only half chewed.......



This is Chewie the half chewed Fieldmouse or it could be a Dormouse we aint sure....



Dunnee look scared to death :(

We thought if we put him in the tank to lick his wounds in the warm and snuggly home with food and water then we would of done good and saved a little life...... only time would tell.....

BUT, like everything in this bloody mad house NUFFIN goes quite as simple or to plan....... the mouse was shaking and as Tom was trying to open the glass door of the tank thing Chewie decided to make a leap for it and lept from Toms grasp...... Emma Screamed and jumped back, I screamed cos she banged into me, Jacob was laffing and as Tom swung round to try and catch Chewie in mid-air he knocked over the 2 plastic cartons of medium and large crickets, and the lids flipped off and 30-40 crickets were now jumping all over Toms tiny bedroom, the mouse was nowhere to be seen, Im jumping on the bed with Emma, and Jacob is still laffing his head off as 30-40 crickets are chirping and hopping and thinking FREEDOM bloody FREEDOM......

Eventually 25 minutes later we had managed to capture Chewie, we cornered him behind Toms OneArmedBandit and poked him with a hockey stick and Tom grabbed him, all the while picking up jumping hopping crickets and shoving them back in the box..... we couldnt find them all, some escaped down the little hole where the pipe to the radiator comes up through the floorboards...... so for the rest of the evening and into the morning all we could hear was the call of these bleedin escaped cricekts between the floorboards and the ceiling lmfao........ PLEASE LORDY WHY ME.....



Quivering Chewie but alive.....

So for a few days Chewie has been living in the lap of luxury, 3 square meals a day, warmth, drink and much love.........

But as much as we have grown attached to Chewie, he is after all a little wild creature and use to his freedom, maybe he has a family that was missing him....... so now he was healed and well and his chewed body was once again whole, we decided it best to let him go, back to the wild, back to his life he had before we saved him......



This is Chewie sitting on Toms shoulder just before we let him go.... look how tame he has got :)

I think he loves us......... just look at his little face, see how he is smiling, compared to how he looked half chewed......

So we shut the cats in the house........ and said our goodbyes to a little mouse that we had rescued and loved and nurtured back to health...... I hope he remembers us and tells his family how good we was to him :)........

But, to be honest, Im half expecting Fatcat to bring him back tonight, only this time maybe nor half chewed but fully gobbled lol......... but ya know what...... thats the call of the wild ;).....

chirp chirp, shit is that a cricket I hear stuck under the floorboards, dont say I will have to prise the boards up to rescue it ;)

Enough boring Twaddle from this mad house.......