Friday, 24 August 2007

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Jumbos Aint Always Elephants Ya Know They Are Also Aeroplanes.....

Ok....... so, I was thinking that I need a holiday, a break, I aint had one for 2 years and then before that it would of been 5 years prior to that...... dont get me wrong, me lads have been all over...... but I have not had so much as a single days break from life and its wonders.....

Soooooo........ IM GOING ON HOLIDAY...... to unchartered waters.....

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Actually these are the waters off of Hayling Island, and its a photo I took a couple of weeks ago...... but you get the idea......

First thing in the morning a taxi is coming to pick me and my Jacob up and is taking us to Heathrow Airport in London where we are gonna fly Virgin Atlantic Direct Non Stop to THE USA :)........

Yep, this time tomorrow evening we will be on the right of the staples, on doodle soil, or mud or whatever the hell funny name you doodles call it......

I know I know, like me life I never really plan anything....... it was a thought that grew and grew and then I thought, well sod it...... why not.......

I think Im brave, mental or mad, I aint figured out which one as of yet.....Im scared and frightened and shaking with all these fears and shaking with excitement and of wonderment of where we are going.......

Except, I DONT FLY TO WELL......... its gonna be an adventure....... its gonna be uncharted seas...... its something I NEED to do...... I WANT to do...... I HAVE to do....... for me.......

And if them doodles dont 'get me' then I will just smile sweetly and fake deafness LOL

So......... maties......... I will have access to a computer....... I will still put up a post....... maybe of me time in doodleland........ but if you feel like buggering off and blobbing elsewhere, then feel free....... and sod ya LMFAO......

So wish me luck cos its almost 2 in the morning here and I AINT EVEN PACKED YET lol........ holy bollocks......

Im hoping we will have time to visit these caves.......

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But we will have to see what time we have........ Im gonna be in doodleland for a fortnight and 2 days.......... Im SO BLEEDIN EXCITED I think I might of just wee'd in me knickers just a dribble lol.....

So maties, Im sorry I aint been around ya blobs of late....... just life shit, hence me getting away from the norm just for a bit....... I think I deserve it........ but take pity and pray for the people we are gonna be staying with lol....... GOD HELP THEM......

ok...... I have to be up in 5 hours and be packed and sussed and sorted by the time the taxi gets here....... packings easy right?.......

Well wish me luck cos I dont do flying let alone flying over 4,000 miles......

To much Twiddling Twaddling for this time of night......

x

Sunday, 12 August 2007

Centenial Scout Camp And Stinking Rotten Something.....

Ok.......... First of all I would like you to have a look at the following photo and see if you can tell what it/they is/are......

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Last week was the 100 year celebrations of Scouting...... we are lucky in this part of the world cos Ole Baden Powell held his first camp on Brownsea Island, which is this little island just off of Poole Harbour...... Poole is about an hour and 20 minutes away from here....... we love buying fish and chips and eating them on the quay wall watching the world..... but I digress.......

So....... last week saw the biggest ever come together of scouting groups, from not only here in Hamshire/England but all over the world...... Our scout group here in the village is the best group in the south of england.... we are the smallest district but have the most lads in our groups from Beavers, Cubs, Scouts and Ventures..... we take our lads on so many many wonderful camps, and canoeing and plane gliding, abseiling, hikes..... our group is the envy of all others *Beaming smile* and that is down to the people that run it........ these maties of mine have the same mentalness as me, and I have been apart of these peoples lives for 18 years.... when all our oldest kids were of the same age, these are maties that I have camped with socially away from our scouting groups...... the fun and laughter we have shared, I would never be able to duplicate if I lived to be 100.

The saddness of not being able this year to camp and hike each month has been heart ripping for me, it was my only true outlet for me, and cos of me gimpy knee its been impossible to participate as I usually would.....never mind aye...

These are not the usual namby pamby scout leaders, these are the most amazing off the wall maties.......

Dinosaur Derby we hold every September with giant 7 foot racing dinosaurs is the highlight of our village shows.......

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We are not a group that does the annoying fundraising stuff throughout the year, we hold our Dinosaur Derby in September, it is OUR one fundraising day, we raise usually about $8,000 in that one day, our Derby is now the biggest village attraction throughout the year, and jebus what fun we have.........

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This a view of the line up :) - see that little brollie (green and red) behind the red dinosaur, that is where I was sitting most of the day...... we must have about 45 or so different sideshows, our day has grown to be the biggest event in our village...... and so that each stall/sideshow does not have to carry money or change, the little tables with the brollies have tickets and people come and buy strips of tickets and that is what they pay for the sideshows/stalls with, every stall has a value of just one ticket..... its great value and cos its really all about the KIDS in the village, even if they do not win on whatever stall they are having a go at, they always come away with a small goodie or scrummie..... so we have 4 brollie tables that take all the money for the day...... keeping all the dosh safe :)

ESPECIALLY FOR FOOLIE.....

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Here you can see the length of the course :)....... the dinosaurs have attached ropes to them and teams stand at one end of the course and at the OFF each team has to pull the ropes to make the huge heavy dinosaurs race across the field..... last year we made little dinos for the kids to have a go at the pulling....... I know the adult races are well competitive.......

This is how it works.... we have a tote tent and just like in horse racing you make a bet on which dinosaur you think will win....... yes its gambling lmfao.... start em young we say..... so you bet on a race, its just the cost of a ticket like everyother stall in our show..... then Allan who is usually up the tower with a mic will invited people to come pull the dinosaurs.... I got a black eye one year where this big bloke in front of me got carried away and elbowed me in the face, knocked me spark out cold LOL.....

The dinosaurs are on like mental sledge runners to help them glide across the field, as you can see the course is fairly long..... and with part of our fundraising, local business's get to name races in our programme.... so like just for instance, the Tyre fitters in our village could name a race 'Tyrosaurus' with there name all over the page, its great advertising and they have to pay for the page.... what we also do 2 weeks prior to our Derby is........ EVERY house is the village is knocked upon and asked if they would like to buy a programme which costs a quid..... its the entry fee..... but by doing going around every house in the village, almost every house buys a quid programme whether they are coming for the day or not, because they see it as our fundraising..... so the majority of our money we make comes from our selling of the programmes around this village 2 weeks prior to the event...... that way we can make sure that the ticket sells on the day are made cheap enough for EVERYONE to have the most fun day without breaking the bank......

Sorry waffling here lol...

Anyway again I digress.......

Every August Bank holiday we have a Family Camp, in Shedfield, which is a little hamlet where a parcel of land was bought by our scouting association just for the use of scouts..... its surrounded by woods and there is a pond thing in the middle.......we invite parents and family of any beaver, cub, scout or venture to come away with us for a long weekend and camp under canvas and join in all we do..... its NOT like any scout camp...... its an amazing fun filled side splitting weekend....... we all have a rota as of what needs to be done so that everyone chips in with chores....... and this is how cool it is..... we prepare and cook 3 fully cooked 2 course meals aday for up to 150 people on OPEN LOG FIRES...... :) so one of the chores is to get the wood........ dont believe me? and I dont mean bloody burgers and rubbish, I mean well proper grub like chicken chaussuer and curry and hotpot and corrination chicken and soups and and and, ok you just have to be there to understand...... we DONT do burger meals lol.....

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This is me matie Angela she is the main leader and I have known her and have been maties with her family for 20 years..... thats Simon to, he was originally one of our cubs years ago :).... and thats me matie Wendy on the left..... she is probably now the only person on earth that really truely knows ME and all whom I am, except for one incident in me life, she knows everything lol poor Wendy aye.....

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This is my Jacob having a bash at abseiling down the tower that we built in the woods.....

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This is my Jacob receiving his medal for the BEST DUNNIE DIGGER on last years summer camp lmfao......

Anyways, see how I go off track..... gawds sake........ and yes, I go off track when talking to people to lol....... ask PT how when we talk on the phone, how our talk just goes off in unknown directions LOL..

So the first photo...... did ya work out what the hell it was?......

Well the weekend before last I dropped my Jacob off with his gear, to the drop off point where our scouts were jumping on a coach to take them to the New Forest for our Hampshire Centenial Camp........ 4,000 scouts on one camp, it was the biggest gathering of its kind, and it was happening all the same week all over england and the world....

I was the first parent to ever in the history of hampshire scouting to have a son in each group...... Jacob was a Beaver, Sam was a Cub, Tom was a Scout and Ben was a Venture...... well one has to be famous for something right?

opps there I go again....

Because we have been doing this scouting marlarkie and bivi camps and school camps for so so many years, my lads KNOW how to travel light, and it was funny to see so many kids with so much gear....... my Jacob fits all his needs including sleeping bag, into one rucksack....

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He also knew that the coach would drop them off and they would have a 3 mile hike through the woods to get to their site..... how the hell were some of these kids gonna manage with cases and bin bags stuffed with gear and even camp chairs LOL...... and cos it had rained for 3 months the hike into the site was 6 inches at least deep in mud...... apparently it was just the funniest thing...... in a few weeks when scouts reopened I will have great photos to share....

So my boy came home last weekend, knackered beyond belief, but with the most amazing experience under his belt....... and this is what I was presented with......

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and....

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The first picture is a picture of a pair of my socks which he nicked to wear with his hiking boots cos they are/were well thick...... he took enough gear to last a week with wet weather stuff, ya know, be prepared.......

Well I think he wore me socks all week cos he was wearing them when he got home.... and all the socks in his rucksack were still neating rolled into balls and were wet and stunk but had not been worn.........the rest of the clothes were filthy lol

Boys aye........ who'd ave em........... :)

So if I go on holiday next week, it means that I will miss our family scout long weekend camp, it will be the first time since we started it 12 years ago...... and even though we have tents and camping gear coming out of our ears in this house, I had bought a pink flowered tent especially for that weekend away.... I know I know, I dont do Pink but this tent is to die for.......

Ive already been told that camp will not be the same without me, and our nightly talks and laughter around the campfire will not be a shadow of what it was if I/we dont go.........

But I need a holiday..... I need to get away..... I need a break from the madness and stress and hard work of the life I have here....I have not had a break for 2 years, not even a weekend.... I need to try and recharge me batteries before me big operation comes up in the next few months....because I will not be doing an aweful lot for a while after that, let alone working..and I know I am going to hit an all time low........ so, this year, and this year only, I am going to have to miss the most amazing weekend of me year for pastures new, for unchartered waters....... I NEED to do this....... I NEED to find out.........

ok sorry, just twaddling a load of bollocks here as usual LOL

x

Friday, 10 August 2007

What An Oven Slagbag.......

OK..... ya know when I was telling ya about me new washing machine, and the little bit of bovver I had 2 years ago plumbing it in...... well it was about the same time that I needed a new cooker, or 'stove' as the doodles say, which is soooooo a 1930s saying LMFAO.......

Well, its funny how stuff all needs to be replaced about the same time, and shortly before me washing machine was karput, me cooker(stove) needed replacing...... it was just not working proper and me cakes was coming out like volcanos and there aint nowt worst then soggy pies in the middle with burnt crusts........ so cooker shopping we went.......

As you probably have gathered I am a right proper easy shopper, I tend to know what I want and just go and buy it..... same as the cooker..... only this time I wanted a stainless steel one...... dont ask LOL........

Well that was just over 2 years ago..... the bloke in the shop said ya just take the old one out and slip the new one in the gap in the kitchen units, screw in the gas pipe and then bobs ya uncle.... ya can cook away until ya hearts content.... easy right? :) yep, sounded right simple to me.......

So, I had a quick look around at the few stainless steel cookers they had in the shop and thought I might as well replace the hob at the same time..... the hob is the top bit where ya put the pots on the burners..... I have no idea what you doodles call it lol....

I was well chufted with me purchases and with reassuring words from the man in the shop as to how easy it was just to swap them over, I drove home beaming with dreams of perfect fairy cakes and non soggy pies..... and crusts that didnt break ya teeth.....

First thing was to get the old cooker out of the gap in the kitchen units...... as you know this house is 'tool deprived' but a kitchen knife is just as good as any ole screwdriver right? and I did have a wrench for those awkward to reach places that might have a thing that needs unscrewing....

So armed with me knife and me wrench I set about trying to figure out how to pull the cooker out..... I managed to drag it out, it was not even screwed into the unit so with the door oven and a quick pull the whole bloody cooker just pulled out and landed on the kitchen floor.......

Ok, so it was attached to a pipe at the back but there was a screw and I did have me wrench in hand........

Gas pipe, screw thingie, wrench, me :) what team work LOL

I will admit that there was a little escape of gas, just like a gentle fart, when I unscrewed the screw thingie on the pipe connecting the cooker to the gas supply..... but that was to be expected right?...... it was a doddle, the cooker then lifted out of the gap in the units and sat on me kitchen floor.........

I quickly unboxed the shiny new cooker from the box, thinking I would save the box for the nippers to make a fire engine out of, that would make great craft project.......

I carefully lifted me new cooker into the gap only to find that the pipe on the back of the new cooker was on the opposite side of the cooker then what the other one was.... so that the gas pipe just wouldnt reach...... well, it wouldnt reach unless I pulled it and bent it a little to fit, 6 inches to get it to reach aint much to ask is it?...... so I yanked the pipe that was attached to the wall, with all me strength, pulling it as hard as I could towards the new fixtures on the back of the cooker.......

Ok........ when the gas was releasing slowly from the bent pipe, it was a good idea just to hold me breath, after all there is bound to be a bit of gas escape right, I was trying to reconnect, so thats normal right?......... LOL.......... it was when the gas started to gush out of the now bent and buckled gas pipe that I started to go a little light headed........ it was a nice feeling LOL..... ok this was not right, so I tried to put me hand around the bent pipe to stop the gas from escaping.... it was not working......... ok ok what to do....... now I felt like I was on top of the world, the kitchen was floating around dancing LOL....... British Natural gas is quiet a high LOL....

The gas just kept escaping and I thought I might of made a mistake in bending the gas pipe to fit, but the man in the shop did say it was an easy swap over......

I had to make a decision, so I abandoned the cooker as the kitchen was filling up with gas, I did think to open that back door though :) see - I aint all daft....

I rang Gordon, he would know what to do, he was after all a central heating gas fitter....... so I quickly explained what I had done and he sounded a little concerned, not his usually joking laffing self...... he said....... DO NOT turn on any lights....... or any electrical things, like I had time to sit and enjoy meself...... he asked if I knew where the gas supply TURN OFF tap was...... yeah right, like I would know if I even had one of those......so he said, are you on your own, to which I said YES GORDON lol.... he said, can you do me a favour and just get out the house and sit in the garden, Im on my way round now......gawds sake, like I aint got nuffin better to do then sit in me garden......... but I did....

and within 3 minutes Gordon was coming through me back gate saying...... bloody hell Mel I can smell the gas out the front of the house....... I said, maybe thats cos its coming out the pipe....... he went in me back door with instructions to STAY BLOODY PUT lol....... he was out within 2 minutes.......... with........ Mel, WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING........... trying to put in me new cooker, the man in the shop said it was just straight forward connection....... Gordon said, yep, it is, IF the pipes DONT need specialist bending LOL........he did a lot of shaking his head and lecturing that day..... and a lot of telling me stories of houses blowing up with gas leaks etc....... I think he was just trying to scare me......

Its good to have a go at installing some of these thngs right, aint that how we learn in life?.......

Anyways........ what bought this memory on was, cos that now said same cooker is now 2 years old and as much as I tried to keep it clean, when the lads have let stuff overflow and bits of pizza etc fall and burn onto the cooker, its got itself into a bit of a state and no amount of oven cleaning stuff from the shops get its spotless......so I got this man in :)

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Now aint that just the funniest little van ever...... and just look what he did to me cooker.....

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Just think this is the cooker that gave me so much grief and could of blown me house up, I take NO responsibility for that .......

All sparkling and shiny and CLEAN :)..... ok ok so it was 50 quid, but it was worth every penny......

So, as promised to 2 of me nippers, as soon as the midget cooker cleaning bloke with a foreign accent had gone, we set about making FAIRY CAKES :)......

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Jon and Katie standing on chairs, aprons on, mixer, scales, ingredients at the ready......

What I dont understand is how people can bake with kids from packet mixes and think that they are cooking LOL....... that teaches nuffin to the kids, when you make cakes from scatch they learn so much...... we talk about so many things when we do cooking....... we learn about weights and measures and where eggs come from and flour and how to do hand eye coordination and how to break the eggs and dig out the shells and how if ya sneeze the flour goes everywhere...... so very much fun and laughter and learning when ya make cakes the proper way...... our only not proper thing as such when we baked in the week was that I let them use the mixer and not mix in big bowls with wooden spoons, but we had done that the week previous, so this to was a learning experience and it was fun watching the ingredients all whizz around as we added things....

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This lad looks like he is away with the fairys, probably why he choose to make fairy cakes LOL...... he needs a bit of special help and is a few pennies short of a quid, so its very important to give him many different experiences :) - he got the flour everywhere to begin with lol

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Time to weigh the butter......

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Are we having fun yet :) - see me pink scales...... I DONT do pink - but I love me kitchen scales LOL

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Yep Jon, eggs come out of a chickens bum LOL so you think thats funny to you LOL...... :)

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Unless ya let them have a go a breaking the eggs and digging out the egg shells they will never learn :)......

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Thats it, empty the eggs minus the shells into the mixer :)

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Great job Jon :) great eye hand coordination......

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Jon!!! are you dipping your finger into the mixture while Katie is concentrating LOL..... go for it son :)

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How chufted are those nippers, fairy cakes all ready for the oven, and with only supervision they did it all themselves....... look at those faces of pride :)

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Time for a quick clean up :)

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WHAT A RESULT...... after waiting for them to cook and cool, they then spread them with chocolate spread and dipped them in sprinkles :)...... then boxed them up to take home and share with their families........

So........... enuff Twaddle for a sunny Friday........... just wanted to share me cooker story with ya, and just glad that Im here to tell the tale :).....

x

Saturday, 4 August 2007

Stuff Ya Gob With Fresh Fruit.......

Ok............ so Ive been right proper poorly.... but ya know me, well, those that do, I tend just to get on with stuff........ I did have monday off work though..... just knew I needed that extra day after the weekend....... anyways....... I aint tiptop but it will have to surfice, I just aint got the time for poorliness.......

So..... on Tuesday cos it was our first well proper day without rain, we decided to have a drive out to Funtington and the Fruit Farm, ya know, one of those pick ya own fruit and stuff as much as ya can shove into ya gob on the way round......

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So thats were we headed........ I took me 8 seater car and black Michelle took her 8 seater, so we all managed to squeeze in...... Michele was not sure how to get to Funtington so she met me at me other maties house when we was loading the kids and picnic stuff and buggies into the car.......

I would like to know why things NEVER seem to run smooth when we go out, there is always some little incident....... and Tuesday was no expection.......... ya see Black Michele (its NOT a racist thing, we have 4 maties all called Michele, and we have to have a way of figuring out which one we are talking/bitching about, so we have black Michele, white Michelle, Wonkie Eye Michele and BillyNoMates Michelle)....... dont know her way out of a paper bag, bloody townie, Sharon either, ya see they aint local born and bred.... one is from Birmingham and one is a Londoner..... so I said I would drive and Michele could follow........ so off we set.... I knew it would easier to nip onto the motorway and come off at the Rowlands Castle junction...... so I put me foot down, there was loads of lorries on the motorway and me junction was coming up and I was in the middle lane with Michele behind me, so I indicates and nips in front of this HUGE lorry so that I didnt miss the turn off........ well the tosser lorry driver didnt like it and he put his foot down and closed the gap so that Michele who was indicating couldnt pull into the junction and she had to drive pass the turn off............

Ok what you must understand is that we, in my car shot up the slip way and onto the motorway flyover and watched Michele continue down the motorway...... LOL she is gonna get lost me matie Sharon said...... the next junction was miles up the road and then Michele who is a bit of a dinlo would panic as to how to get back to the junction turnoff we took...... so we went round and round the top roundabout peeping over the motorway bridge to see if she was coming back lol...... and finally after getting well dizzy and one of the nippers saying they felt sick from going round and round we took the dual carriage way road in the direction we were going.......

She will never find us if we go without her me matie Sharon pipes up......... Ok OK I say, I will pull over and we will wait for the daft cow....... well on the dual carriage way there was nowhere to pull over EXCEPT into this little sort of track into the woods.... there was no layby as such...... so I indicated and then very carefully reversed into this sloping track so that we was at least facing the road, so if the daft cow managed to find her way back we could bib the horn and wave her down.......... we did try ringing her on the mobile but obviously she was driving and probably crying now so it just kept ringing......

So there we sat.... in this track...... and it was getting on towards lunchtime and I said to Sharon.....'shall we do lunch' we was so giggling...... so we gave the kids all a drink and got out our lunch, we couldnt reach the kids lunch cos it was all in the boot of the car....... so there we are giggling 'doing lunch'. well it was actually a bought chicken tikka couscous salad from our local grocery shop...... and a mug of coffee from the garage which we grabbed when I filled up with petrol......

It was funny sitting there in the sun with the cars whizzing by doing lunch....... WHEN this bloody police patrol car pulled up in front of us with all its light flashing lol........ these 2 coppers get out and one comes to my open window and one to Sharons open window........... ok ladies the main one said....... you know you aint suppose to be stopped here, so whats going on........... and I kid you not, at the same exact time, me and Sharon both just said........ WE ARE DOING LUNCH ......... hahahahahah jebus it was just so very very funny....... I think you had to be there........the copper did actually laff...I said, please can you ask me to get out the car and throw me onto the bonnet and shout at me to 'spread em' :) - after all, that might be the only time I get to hear those magic words lol....he just smiled LOL..... anyways we explained what had happened and that we couldnt leave black Michele stranded and lost...... and bugger me, with that she only pulled up behind the cop car :).......... sussed and sorted :) the coppers stopped the traffic so we could get back into the flow of the traffic and we waved at them as they just smiled at us shaking their heads lol........

When we got to the Fruit Farm we thought it best to let the kids have lunch, so we spread the blankets out under a shadey tree for the kids to sit on.......so they could 'do lunch'....

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There are 2 nippers missing from this photo as they was having a wee in the hedge LOL

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Just look at the size of Emma's sarnies........

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Note how clean Sprite is sort of at the moment....... LOL

So after lunch, we went to the little hut place and got loads of little blue punnets for all the nippers..... and Jon ran to the first tree and before we could shout STOP he was picking apples by the dozen lol...... Jon is 4 and Ive had him since he was 1.... and he is a couple of pennies short of a quid.... and he didnt know which ones were ripe or not..... so he comes walking back to me clutching a handful of apples..... to which I say...... oh Jon darling, those aren't ripe, now go back and put them back on he tree ...... ok ok so Im mean lol........ and he went back and was trying to stick the apples back on the tree lol......

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This is Jon trying to put the apple back on the tree..... he dont look non to pleased LOL......

First of all we hit the raspberry and strawberry rows.... and we tried to explain to the kids that they were actually allowed to eat as they pick...... oh my goodness...... wrong thing to say........

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Now where are all other other kids lol we needed eyes in the back of our heads :)

Someone gave sprite raspberries and strawberries...... its come out in the wash right?

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We ate so much fruit it was unbelieveable lol....... try convincing nippers that it aint actually nicking (thieving) the fruit and that ya really allowed to eat what ya wont......

Mathew was so funny, he walked about stuffing his little face and insisted on only putting one raspberry into his punnet.... and the bloke so laffed when I put the punnet with the one raspberry on the scales for a price.......

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Mathew has a twin sister but this day she was with grandparents, they try to make sure they always get alone time so they dont become attacted at the hips..... - this is Mathew with his one raspberry....

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Picking Greengages :).... oh and Owen in amongst the strawberries.....

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Owen an Emma insisted in pulling up this weed and taking it home lol

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Which way to the plums....... and wheres Owen in this picture...... gawds sake.....

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Jon loved getting handfuls of grass and throwing it in the air lol

We came home with punnets of fresh fruit but my best treasure of the day was, these.........

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OK, call me a thief, does it look like Im bovvered.......... there were hundreds of strawberry plant runners....... so I snipped off 20 and nicked to bring home and pot on so that I can have me own little strawberry patch next year :)...


We took our treasures to be weighed in the farm shop, 11 nippers and us in this tiny shop :)...... DONT TOUCH DONT TOUCH was the order of the day lol..... 11 ice-creams later and a jar of farmhouse chilli mayo oh and some veggie goodies that are now winging there way to the states...... we called it a day......... tired out...... especially me..........

Oh, I did forget to say that I soooooo needed a wee when out in the fields so I hobbled into the orchard to squat...... oh shut up, dont say you aint had to do that...... so there I was squatting having a wee, then the bloody owner rides by on his little orchard tractor in mid squatt LMFAO......... 'afternoon' he says and just smiles lol........ cant a girl have a wee in peace..... gawds sake.......

Enough boring Twaddle for one day..........

x