Gone To Find My Soul......Someone Stole It.........

OXO always..

Dreams And White Picket Fences...

Ok........ for as long as I can remember, and Im going back 30 or so years...... Ive always had a thing about white picket fences.....



It was as if all my dreams were wrapped up in a white picket fence.... all my hopes and dreams and wishes and life..... and I knew when I saw the right fence, it would give me hope and love and safety.... there didnt even need to be a gate to hold me in, just the fence....



Ive seen hundreds of white pickets in my lifetime...... but not the right one..... not the one that had my name upon it...... not the one that knew me..... not the one that could understand me and all that I held inside.......all my pain and sorrows, all my joys and laughter, all my memories, everything that I was... that I am.... and what I will one day be....



And then I found this white picket fence (in the above photo) when I was not even looking, I felt it had been waiting for me in the long grass, waiting for me to stumble upon it...... and all it's souls that it wrapped its self around ....cos this fence came with other souls......this was my fence that I had waited a lifetime to stand before..... I fell in love with this old white picket fence, abandoned against the bushes...with its rough edges and its chipped and peeling paint..... it made my soul alive from the first moment I set eyes upon it..... it stirred my soul like nothing in life had before....... it was the same fence in my dreams...... it felt like home.... it made me feel safe for the first time ever...I felt it knew me, I felt safe telling it my inner thoughts and dreams and secrets.... my secrets.....I felt it had been waiting for me all of these years.... it made me feel oh so safe, I had never felt safe before...

I close my eyes and the fence is still there, everyday, it makes my soul ache..... it will ache until I die.... maybe its my punishement..... yes, this ache is my punishment... always oxo


Someone should burn that fence...... throw it on a burn pile, along with my dreams.....

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