You Use To Be A Beautiful Baby - And - By The Skin Of His Teeth

Ok...... well everyone that knows me knows how much I love me chickens.... it drives me maties here crazy, cos, to be honest, they DONT DO animals of any description.... and me matie Ann, well, she has this fear of birds, daft cow lol....

My chickens are wellabit spoilt, I buy them lavendar or lemon scented sawdust for the bottom of their bedroom in the coop and then I fill it up with warm snuggly herby scented hay LOL..... my chickens come out of their coop in the morning smelling like they have spent a night in a brothel.....

They all bring me such joy, I could sit in me garden and just watch them for hours, when Im stressed out, which has been a lot of late, I take me cuppa tea and go sit on the bench in the garden and me chickens bring me back down to earth....... no 'shop ya stress away' for me.... just sitting amongst the chicken poo and sharing me marmite toast with them, see how low maintenance I really am LOL

Do you remember the hatching of Marble back in October, when it was bitter cold and still I let mother nature run its course and let Mabel the mum warm and protect the chick instead of bringing them both into the warm kitchen in a box......

Well, little Marble is no longer a cute little fluffy chick...... he/she, but we are thinking more a he as the weeks go on... is now a big as its mum...its a tad crazy and skitsie and gets a right proper peck from its Auntie Janet when it gets to greedy....

It use to be a beautiful baby, but it sure is one ugly teenager LOL



And and even ugly looking young adult..



But ya see, no matter if Marble does turn out to be a cockeral, which I think it might be, cos it has shiney feathers like Cedric and has the beginnings of those purplely/green tail feathers, I will still keep him and Marble and Cedric will just have to learn to get on with each other, cos I loves my little Marble, its like me first born LOL

My chickens hang around together all day, they are never more then a few feet apart, sometimes they can be a pain in the arse, like NOW for instances, they have dug up all me perennials which I will have to replace, so I thought I would have to pen them down in the bottom half of me garden, still a large area for free chickens, so I went to B&Q and bought the most lovely picket gate and the hinges and thought I would put a gate up near the shed to stop them coming this end of the garden and destroying the rest of me plants....... So, last week I let them out of their coop and shut the new gate which is about 4 foot high and went out for the morning, happy in the knowledge that I could buy some new plants and they would not be dug up and scratched out by me chickens........



This is us buying the picket gate, thats Sprite, D and J... who says shopping with 3 under 3s is hard :)

WRONG..... when I came back home I opened me side gate and there was Cedric and Janet sitting on me back door step THIS SIDE OF THE GATE..... boy, did I tell them off, they must of missed me so much that they made a mad escape and must of fluttered up onto the gate (which must of been hard cos they are fatties) and where sitting there waiting for my return with a smug look on their faces...... after checking and opening the new gate I walked back up the garden talking to the pair of them in a cross voice....LOL and was explaining to them that they are NOT allowed this end of the garden and to bloody well get their arse back down the garden and through the gate, as they started to waddle off I quickened me step and made shooing noises, much to Cedrics annoyance lol he started with the back chat and noise at me as he picked up pace.... again I was giving him a piece of me mind when he decided to hop onto the gate and then onto the bloody 6 foot fence.... LMFAO..... little sod, he was determined to state his case and not go back without a fight LMFAO....

So I shooed Janet in through the gate and shut it and then went to pick Cedric off the fence.....



He was having none of it..... he fluttered down into me twat neighbours garden LOL.....dam and bugger, time for reinforcements..... I ran, well hobbled back to the house and shouted for Sam and Jacob to come quick.... Sam easily climbed over the fence and then from his side said, dammit, mum, Cedric's hopped over into the next garden........... and with that, we heard the most scariest noise that I have ever heard a chicken make and the growling of the little terrier dog that lives there..... Cedric was being attacked..... but he was putting up a good fight, boy could that cockeral run.... I screamed real loud from my side of the fence and both Sam and Jacob leapt over the other fence into the garden where Max the terrier lives and who by now had Cedric in his mouth...... the lady that lives there came rushing out, she to was screaming cos she could hear me screaming, I felt helpless this side of the fence..... Sam apparently without fear grab Max the dog by his neck and bashed him on the nose with the palm of his hand and the dog dropped Cedric, who at first lay there where he was dropped..... I by then had run/hobbled down me garden and in through the bottom of me neighbours garden (2 gardens along) thinking that my Cedric had been ripped to pieces, already the tears were rolling down me face...... the dog had been shut in the house and I could see feathers everywhere..... Jacob said, its ok mum, he is still alive, go get a towel, so I hobbled back through the gardens in floods of tears.... wishing I had clipped the chickens wings which would of stopped their ability of fluttering up over the fence in the first place..... as I hobbled back down the garden with towel in hand I heard my Sam in the twat neighbours garden saying, mum I'll pass Cedric over the fence and then climb over....



I dont know why this photo has come out so dark (ok photo swapped fanks LadyStyx for making me photo lighter) that thats our Sam climbing back over the fence and Jacob who had come the sensible way and through the back gate LOL


I heard me twat neighbour shuffling down his garden, just as Sam jumped back over the fence into our garden.......whats going on he said from his side of the fence....... nuffin we said in unison lol.... was you in my garden, he said.... nope we all said in unison..... with that we quietly tiptoed back up our garden and left the loon talking to himself LOL

I checked Cedric all over.... he was missing all his tail feathers and his bum was bare with a couple of bite marks on his arse.... so not knowing what to do I just put antiseptic cream on the bites and hugged him and give him a kiss and a right proper telling off and put him to bed.... hoping against all hope that he would not die of shock during the night.....



This is Cedric before, with his beautiful tail feathers.....

and, yes Cedric did survive the night..... by the skin of his teeth he survived....



This is Cedric now with what is left of his tail feathers...LMFAO.. I know they will grow back, I know he had a lucky escape... I know now I need to think about clipping his and the others wings..... and now I know just how much I love him.... aint I bloody pathetic lmfao....



As a treat the following day.... I gave them all a slice of chocolate cake.... one of their favourites lol..... note Cedrics tail-less bum lmfao.....



Oh, and cheese, did I mention they love cheese for their breakfast some mornings....

I could go on and on and show hundreds of photos and tell stories about me chickens, but I will save them for another day.....

Its bright and sunny here today with a nippy start.... looks like its gonna be a lovely spring day..... I need to make the most of it......

Enough boring Twaddle for one morning...

x

ps...... Fanks (((((Starr))))) you know what for.... feet - earth - ground.. oxo

Addition - a couple of other photos that I couldnt find this morning....

An Unexpected Visitor...Again...

Ok....... long boring post.... but like Im bovvered if you read it or not lol - oh and the boxes o'crap will be posted off in the morning.... sorry about the delay... but tough tittie, Ive been busy LOL

Bugger me what a week..... up to me eyes in this below...



I cant believe I decided to do a 2 year college course in 9 months at home whilst trying to work and sort the house and garden and everything home here lol...



See that huge folder with the few notes, well it will be full to bursting by the time I will of finished this qualification... 2 out of 11 papers done and dusted with high credits :).... maybe Im cleverer then I think I am lol

Its taking over me life.... hours and hours of bloody work, and assessments and the assessor sitting in on my day taking observations.... I WISH I HAD NEVER STARTED lol

Sooooo thats just one tiny excuse as to my disappearance....

Its been beautiful spring weather here this past week and hopefully it will continue into the weekend..... Ive been trying to put all me bank accounts and saving accounts in order for when the time comes to rob peter to pay paul when I loose Sprite and J in a fortnight... Im brill at juggling little income and Im usually at me most creative when Im skint LOL.... fank gawds I DONT have one penny of debt except me little mortgage, and I do have a little bit of savings hidden in me hiking boots lol.....

I might have to sell me body down the Guildhall behind the lion statues, but when I thought about it, I doubt I would even earn enough for me busfare home LOL

Anyways..... does anyone remember last year and this post dear little chewy that we saved from me cat...... go look at the lovely photos in this old post..

Well, about 3 weeks ago we had another MOUSE incident.... this time it was Ambrose that came galloping in through the catflap carrying a squeeling wriggling little dormouse..... I shouted at me cat at the top of me voice, and it scared her so much she opened her mouth and the mouse fell to the floor and ran under the washing machine.... there was nuffin I could do to get the little mouse out..... I thought the cats would eventually catch it and there will be nuffin I can do...... but, catch the mouse they didnt..... it must of crept out at night and stole and nibbled their food and drank their water.... and as the days went by I forgot about the little dormouse that was living under me washing machine...... UNTIL.... I was in me kitchen late one night bunging the kettle on for a cuppa tea..... as I stood there waiting for it to boil, I watched as a little tiny dormouse crept along me kitchen window sill and behind me toaster where it sat nibbling on toast crumbs.......

Bloody hell..... argghhhhhhhhhh no matter how much I like cute little mices there is NO WAY a dam mouse was gonna have the free run of me kitchen........ and when I found a little mouse poo on the window sill THAT WAS IT.... its fate was sealed....it had to go.... I called all 3 of me cats (yes we now have 3, thats another story lol) to which they all came running into the kitchen thinking they was getting a treat...... I picked fatcat up and placed him on the kitchen sink where the mouse was staring back at me from the window sill....it was a big mistake... all hell then broke loose lmfao......the cats went crazy knocking dishes into the sink and stuff onto the floor, the poor mouse ran for its life and I screamed and hobble jumped onto the kitchen pew LOL..... Jacob and Sam came running only to both climb on the pew with me lmfao..... to dam funny....

we watched as the 3 cats sat infront of the washing machine pawing under to try and get the mouse, but as we watched, it crept along the base of the kitchen units behind the daft cats LMFAO..... and through the babygate across the kitchen door and behind some of the toy boxes in this middle room.....

This was now all out war....



This is Sam after pulling out a few of the toy boxes, everytime I said 'there it is' he screamed like a girlie lmfao.....

We didnt catch the mouse that night.... but it continued to leave mice poo on the window sill so I knew it was still alive and I was constantly anti-bacterial washing all the units down in the kitchen....

It had to go, it was doing me head in, it was getting to clever... it had found its way into me popping corn.... I didnt want it to die though, I aint that cruel, but it had to be caught..... so, I went down to our village hardware shop and saw the bloke that works in there, he thinks Im mad most of the time as it is, but this day he must of thought I was mental LOL



This is our little hardware shop.....

He says, hey Mel what ya after... Im always in and out of this little shop for the odd nail or screw or to get a key cut (that is another story), or to just give him hassle LOL.... so I says..... I have a mouse, its been in me kitchen now for over a week, and its getting crafty and its clever and I WONT LET IT WIN.... I want a mouse trap.... ok he says and he brings me out a traditional mouse trap that ya put cheese on a spring trap and when the mouse grabs it, it flips and crushes the poor little mouse to death... thats 2 quid he says...... BLOODY HELL I reply, I aint no murderer, I want one of those humane traps Ive seen on the telly, I'll catch the mouse and take it up the woods and let it go..... oh he says one of those.... well, those are 4 pounds 50 ($9).... jebus I say, the cost of being humane and kind and caring to little creatures is ridiculas.... thats more then double the price of snapping the little mousie git in half and squashing its guts out.... yep it says, being kind is expensive and he laffs knowing full well I would buy it whatever the price....

So I take it home stuff the end with cheese and ham and a love heart sweet so that the mouse would have a variety of things to choose from lol and I placed the little trap where I thought it would walk on its way to the toaster.... 2 days and nuffin...well I say nuffin, the treats in the trap had gone but no trap had been sprung and no mouse caught..... I told the bloke in the shop that I wanted me money back cos the trap aint worked, he just laffed at me and said they dont do refunds and just to give it time, so I replaced all the treats and waited and waited.... and both me and Sam stood one night in the kitchen and watched the dam mouse run over the top of the trap LOL..... we chased that dam mouse all over the kitchen side that night and eventually we cornered the little bastard behind me KenwoodChef LOL and shoved the open trap in the only little gap where the mouse could escape......

DONE AND DUSTED..... we caught the little bleeder.....now to tease the cats and to teach the mouse a lesson...



Take that you peskie little mouse.....



And if I could be bovvered to scare you I would LOL....

Now what to do with the mouse..... Sam suggested putting it in something bigger, so what did he do, he only went and got our FRIBBLE glass that me and Jacob stole oops, I mean borrowed from a burger joint whilst we was in Maine....



See aint he cute....



Anyone would of thought Sam had slain a lion instead of just catching a little dormouse lol



Now we can never use the stolen oops borrowed Fribbles Glass, cos its had a mouse in it...

It was late and we didnt want to let the mouse go in the back garden cos we knew one of the cats would stalk it and catch it, so Jacob suggested he put it in one of his empty lizard glass thingies.... and keep it for a few days to make sure it was ok and then we could let it go..... thought that was a great idea, and that way the minded nippers could watch the little mouse in the glass cage for a few days and they could learn about wild animals lmfao.... sounds like Im talking bout a bear or moose LOL..... so the little mouse was put in this....



The poor dormouse spent 2 days being hounded by nippers and me cats, eventually Jacob took it upstairs to the quiet of his bedroom.....

I forgot all about the mouse for a few days and when I remembered I said to Jacob.... do you still have the mouse..... no he said....... did you let it go, I said...... no he said..... dont say the cats got it...... no he said...... well where the bloody hell is the mouse, I said...... its dead he said....... dead? I say...... after all we went through its dead? WTF..... how?...... he said he didnt want it to get cold so he turned the heat pad on which he use to use for one of the scorpions when it was in the glass thing....... oh that was nice I said......... only the stupid mouse chewed through the wire and electricuted itself he said....... a fortnight of hassle and mouse poo and chasing the dam thing around the house, a now useless stolen, oops borrowed Fribble glass and 4 pound 50 pence ($9) wasted..... I asked him what he had done with the mouse, he said..... I fed it to me lizard LMFAO......

RIP little dormouse, I tried to save you, but you were your own worse enemy....

I told the bloke in the hardware shop yesterday... well actually I was just walking past and he came rushing out and asked me about the mouse.... he laffed and laffed.... yep he said, sounds about right for your mad house......

HOW RUDE lol

Enough boring Twaddle for a dark Friday Spring Evening.....

x

Tiz Been A Fortnight And The Winner Is.....

Ok, so its been just over a fortnight, what with tonsilillitis and a chest infection of which I am still coughing and snotting up buckets of lime green slime :).... and with me NV Q3 course hard work and loads of stuff and nonsense going on here and the near death of Cedric, its seems an age since I promised a box of scrummies.....

Anyways, fanks to everyone for all your kind words, I always find kind words hard to swallow, so, DONT BE SO NICE IN FUTURE...... :)



I cant believe so many of you commented in the hope of winning a box of crapo bits and bobs from Jolly old lol.....

I will say that I had been gathering in the goodies and scrummies, and as fast as I gathered me lads munched and ate the gathered goods LMFAO....

So last night I thought I had better get this done and dusted... so instead of one box of scrummies I will send 4 smaller boxes.......



So I printed off everyones name cos I couldnt be arsed to hand write them all lol and just look, I even stamped out a shape next to everyones name :) - like I aint got enough to do, but thats me, always the creative one LOL....

I put all the little folded names (with stamped out shape) into one of me favourite little bowls.........

Drum rolls...........and the winners of the little box of crappo are.......



Cindy - SomeBlokeThatBlobs - LadyStyx - JeanC

So if you wanna drop me your proper address to marmitetoasty@yahoo.com and give me a week to regather in some bits and then a week for the postman to swim across the water with your goodies, you will be very disappointed LMFAO.... oh no, it couldnt be some bloody brit that won, it had to be a doodle..... just make it more expensive why dont ya :)

Ive won 2 give-aways before on blobs...... one was on FamilyPhils Blob yonks ago, I named his gnome and won a CD...... and then just a few weeks ago, I was blobbing around and came across a quilting blob place that took me eye.... and I left a comment and bloody hell, low and behold I actually won the giveaway...... and oh my what the most amazing giveaway....



Just look at all that lovely fabric and a book, yep the blobber is famous Elizabeth has had a book published and she even sent me a copy of her book AND she enclosed two moose horn buttons cos she had read me blob and knew me passion for mooses..... the enclosed letter made me smile and made me tear up.......

So, it just goes to show, ya can connect with like minded funny people on the net, and ya can win moose buttons :) - FANKS again Elizabeth for the wonderful give-away..... makes my box of crap look pathetic LOL I aint decided what to include yet either lol like in life I will just go with the flow :)....

Much has happened this past week..... I was very poorly of course and I think THIS is the cause......



Pod was wellabit poorly a couple of weeks ago.......



Yep gallons of puke lmfao EVERYWHERE...... I had to call his dad to come get him and then I went down with sickness so I BLAME pod lol

Also Sprites father was made redundant yesterday which of course has a knock on affect to me, cos after doing 4 weeks notice I wont be having Sprite and her brother unless the father can find another job, which in this recession is unlikely.... so that means that my income will drop by 2 thirds, they were my bread and butter earnings...... dont know what Im gonna do, but Im sure I will muddle through as I always have..... priority MORTGAGE we dont need to eat LOL.... least I dont owe one penny in debt...

But to cap it all, my Ben who only came back from a weekend away in Amsterdam yesterday and who also works for the same Engineering company as Sprites father, was also made redundant...... OH BLOODY JOY...... and over here dole money is only $90 so we are all in the shit LOL..... I will have to somehow try and carry everyone again, just dont ask me how, cos I have NO idea.....

Maybe sell up and move to the states and buy something outright and start up some business there?........

And get this, a dear matie has already offered to marry me so that I could get in the country :)...... I might just take him up on the offer....ya know, a marriage of convenience..... he would soon get fed up with me though LOL....to dam funny.... actually it was a lovely thought :)..... so fanks Chuck...

Ok...... I have me consultant this afternoon....... I aint mentioned much about it all of late in that department, mainly cos things are not good... but I sort of pulled me cardigan around me and just kept meself to meself...... to say Im a little scared about me appointment is an understatement..... will just have to see what he suggests, if anything, this afternoon....... sigh...

Ok, enough boring Twaddle for a Tuesday morning.... congrats those that have won the box of crap, dont forget to send me your addresses....

x