Being The Pidgeon Police Can Get One Out Of A Tight Spot.....

Ok, its a glorious sunny spring like day here today, the same as it was a fortnight ago....... the 27th was a fortnight ago, and it also happened to be me dear matie Sharkies birthday..... he was snowed under in Maine with piles of the white stuff, and we had the most perfect warm sunny Sundee...... so, seeing as he aint here, I thought we would take him out for a birthday treat via me camera LOL..... cos if he was here then we would of taken him out on his special day.....

So, Jacob had his matie round for the weekend and I suggested to them that we go out to Beaulieu Motor Musuem, Palace House and Abbey..... this place is nestled in the heart of the New Forest and is only just under an hours drive away.....

It is the best motor musuem in the whole world.... :) and I love it, not only cos of the vehicles but cos of the history of the family that own it and still live in the Palace House.....

http://www.beaulieu.co.uk/motormuseum/introduction.cfm

Ya can get a feel for it on the above sight....

Well Jacob and his matie jumped at the chance, Brad (Jacobs friend) aint never been there before, so it was a first for him.....

So..... we packed a lunch (cos these places are sooooo expensive to buy lunch at) with loads of drinks and munchies and headed off towards the New Forest.... its a doddle to get to and I didnt even get lost once, which is also a first for me lol

We even took some little cakes in honour of Sharkies birthday :)...



This was the ticket to get in.... well bloody expensive if ya ask me lol

Beaulieu is the home of Lord Montagu and the lord often wanders around his estate, and in the summer there are outside exhibitions and rides on old cars etc, but that comes at a price.... in the summer the place is heaving with tourists and visitors and I DONT do crowds LOL.... so going this time of year on a sunny warm spring like day was just right..... just a splattering of visitors.... perfect...

Before we went into the building to see all the cars etc, we had a ride on the mono-rail that goes around the estate and through the top of the car building.... ya know, boys are never to old to enjoy a mono-rail ride lol..



Even though it dont look it, we was about 15-20 feet up in the air..... the little ride takes ya around the estate and ya can use it like a railway train and get off at Palace house to save ya walking there, but we just did the round trip, BUT... as we passed the gardeners cottages in the middle of the estate we spied a pen with huge chickens in.... I said... when we walk to Palace House we will go find the chickens - cos I LOVE CHICKENS - so it couldnt of been more perfect (more later on that lol)..



This is my Jacob and his matie Brad at the entrance to the building that houses all the amazing cars and superbikes and bicycles..... they hated me making them pose for the picture LOL.... they will fank me when they are older and have these photo memories to show their children...

Once inside their eyes lit up, there are some of the oldest restored cars in the whole world there, beautiful... and also many doodle cars... and record breaking cars like The Bluebird which in its day broke the land speed record.... its just a wonderful mouth opening place...



Mummy said SMILE lmfao...



This is that doodle broad Marlena Detrias (however is bloody spelt) car... it was drop dead gorgious....

Whilst we was in Maine during the summer, me matie Sharkie taught my Jacob how to ride antique Penny Farthings....Sharkie has a passion for antique bikes, especially Penny Farthings, oh that boy just so loved it and the time that Sharkie spent with him..... and one of the main reasons for going to Beaulieu for the day was of course Sharkies Birthday, and I knew there was something very special there that he would LOVE if he was with us that day.....

So Sharkie, this one is especially for you matie......Happy Birthday..



This is only the oldest BIGGEST penny farthing ever made, and this is the ONLY one left in the whole wide world... pretty special aye? :)



Heres the gumpfff that goes with the bike.....



There were many Penny Farthings scattered around the place and one just left against the fire exit lol..... ok, so I climbed over the rope to snap the above picture....but it was for a good course, its me maties birthday trip lol

I took so many many photos of the many bikes, just way to many to post here.....



Boys are so easy to bribe with a promise of a go on the simulator if ya pose infront of that car lol...



True to me word, 2 quid each and a chance to drive a simulator sports car lol... and they thought it would be a doddle lol WRONG :)

We made our way all around the musuem, stopping and looking in wonder at the beautiful cars of a bygone era.. and old double decker buses from when I was a kid... right up to the top new Formula one racing cars of today.... its a great day out, and I promise if I ever get a doodle visitor I will take ya there....



This was a picture on the wall lol I made me boy stand next to it lmfao....

Time for lunch....

We took our own grub but sat outside at the tables of the cafe place that was there, in the sunshine..... the boys did go and order a plate of chips to go with there sarnies... I didnt mind that..... it was such a warm day that inside the building they had their coats on, but outside in the sunshine Jacob just had on a T-Shirt lol crazy right for January......



Proof lmfao...

Whilst they went to order their chips I took a photo of me bag that was on the table LMFAO..... DONT ask me why, I just did..... have camera will snap :)...



This bags just about sums me up lmfao.....

So.....we came out the building with the cars and started to make our way towards Palace House.... remembering about the chickens we had seen from the mono-rail... we scouted about and couldnt for the life of us find where they could be..... we were confronted by a tallish hedge and undergrowth.... if ya listened real carefully ya could hear 'chickens'... so with Jacob and Brad in the lead we scrambled through the undergrowth and squeezed through the hedge and came out the other side smack bang next to a big chicken pen, with the BIGGEST chickens we had ever seen, and what appeared to be someones garden LOL... cos there was a swingset and climbing frame on the lawned area.... the chickens came up to the low fence to greet us, thats when we saw laying in the corner of the pen A DEAD PIDGEON... yuck, it had been pecked by the chickens.... ewwwwwww...

We began giving the chickens bits of what was left of our sarnies, when we heard a rather cross and loud voice...... EXCUSE ME this is private and you have NO RIGHT to be here...... bloody hell, it was only the head gardeners kid, she was about 12...... oh, I said, we were just curious about the chickens that we saw from the mono-rail....... GET OUT she screamed this is private, DONT make me go and get my father....... ok, Mel, think..... we have squeezed through the hedge onto private property and they could well lob out out of the estate and I aint seen Palace house or the Abbey yet LOL....... so I says.... did you know there is a dead pidgeon in your chicken pen and that is highly dangerous and very illegal (I had no clue as to whether either of these statments were true lol)...... where she replied....... there in the corner I said......... well, its still private here and Im going to call my father..........I wouldnt do that I say, and I pull out of me bag me credit card LOL and I says...... holding it up (she was about 25 foot from us and obviously didnt know it was a credit card and not Pidgeon Police ID).... this is a card to say I am a member of 'The Pidgeon Police' and I have a right to investigate all dead pidgeons found in chicken pens, especially those spotted from mono-rails (what the hell was I saying lmfao)..... so if I was you I wouldnt get your father unless you want me to arrest him...... anyways, make sure you take the dead pidgeon out of the pen and I will NOT report you this time...... with that Jacob says.... mum lets just leg it and he and Brad scramble back through the hedge leaving me standing there on me own LMFAO..... so, be warned I say, we will be back to check, and I turn tail and scramble through the hedge to find Jacob and Brad laffing on the other side...... it was just so funny..... but it saved our bacon and we didnt get lobbed out of the estate....



This is the entrance to the house, the Montagu family live in most of it and open just a tiny snippet of it to visitors, with the old orignal kitchens from yonks ago.... and I LOVES me a bit of history especially old houses....



Part of the Abbey where the monks lived.... this part is all intact and restored, where as the actual Abbey was destroyed and is only the ruins on show....



This is the little original chapel that the villages of Beaulieu village use each Sunday, it was very very pretty inside.... ya have to cross the moat from the village to the estate to get to it.....



These are the cloisters where the monks would of walked around and contemplated life.....

And how could I not buy the mug in the picture below lol..... it was in the kitchen gift shop...... usually gift shops in tourist places are well naff, but this one was just lovely..... so I bought it as a memory of the day and the Pidgeon Police, unlike the memories of the day that I will stack on the shelves of me mind, this mug will be stacked on me shelves in me kitchen cupboard :)



Its Fine English Bone China ya know :)

So we went home tired out, knackered beyond belief, but a lovely beautiful day we had......

So Sharkie..... Im glad ya little birthday parcel arrived in time for your special day, and I hope you have enjoyed your birthday treat out via my words and photos..... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIEND..... love you...

Enuff Twaddle for a Sunday TeaTime..... did anyone make it down this far? LOL
(all photos were taken on me camera)
x

They Overstepped The Line...... This Is Now All Out War....

Ok....... Anyone that knows me knows that I cant even begin me day without a steaming mug of tea.... I cant begin to even function, let alone speak..... the first thing I do after Ive dragged meself out of bed is to bung the kettle on..... this would take first place over the house burning down...... one day it would be nice to have someone that would actually make me a cuppa tea and bring it upstairs so I could drink it in bed still all snuggled up...... well, we can dream right? lol

I dont drink anything but, as I would call it 'builders tea' thats just bog standard tea, no fruit teas, or Earl Greys or green teas or finely blended posh stuff...... just bog standard builders tea......

When I visited Maine during the summer I even took me own box of T-bags, ya know, just incase LOL......

I usually just buy PG Tips..... its been around since I was a kid, only then, it was proper loose tea and not no new fangled T-bags......

If Im home, which seems to be a lot lately, I must make about 12 cups of tea, not that I drink them all lol I usually make a cup and then find it a 30 minutes later on the side.... cold .... lol - tea is my comfort drink, tea washes away all ailments, all problems, all pains, all heartaches.... well its suppose to lol... but thats all bollocks cos it dont...

Anyways...... When I was a kid, the adverts on the telly for PG Tips Tea had monkeys in them, chimps dressed like people, like a chimps teaparty... these adverts went right into the 1990s - as a nipper I thought these adverts were magical and when real young I thought the chimps actually really talked LMFAO..... oh the innocient child I was....you have to remember we didnt have computers and all this new fangled stuff and playstations etc....



Goodness such memories lol.....

I remember that the chimps roadshow was coming to the church hall in Riders Lane around the corner from where I lived as a child....it was FREE to get in, all ya had to do was save the tea packets, I cant remember how many, but I remember me older sister getting the tea packets out of the bin and hiding them from me mum, until she had enough for me and me brother to go to the church hall and see the chimps for real :)..... me sister was 11 years older then me and me brother was 2 years older, I must of been about 7 at the time.....



I sooooo wanted to see, what I thought, were talking chimps...

The time got nearer and nearer to the date when the chimps would arrive, I remember the excitement (how pathetic lol)..... I remember me sister telling me NOT to say anything to me mum, cos she knew that I would NOT be allowed to go...... I never did lies as a kid, but this wasnt a lie right? it was a secret, not a lie, and oh there were so many secrets whilst growing up.....

The day came, me sister gave me brother Paul and me the tea packets and told us to scarper along to the church hall..... see, me mum wouldnt of wondered where we was going on a Saturday morning, cos we would usually bugger off out for the day from early till late on a Saturday, yep hard to think that at 7 and 9 we was out all day and no one would know or even care where we were LOL....



Jebus I was sooooo excited lol...

Well we did go and we queued with what seemed like hundreds of kids...... ok, well life was different back then and this was a BIG thing lol...... queued what seemed like hours, I knew it was a long time cos we had to wait til the second show.... when we eventually got to the front of the queue clutching our empty teabags in our hands the woman on the door went to take them from us and said we needed 5 bags each...... OH NO..... we only had 4 each...... how could this be..... I remember as if yesterday standing in front of the lady saying we only had 4 each and her saying, well love ya need 5 each or you cant come in..... OH NO.... CANT GO IN TO SEE THE CHIMPS.... weeks and weeks of secret keeping to be told that we needed 5 bags each......

Ya know what me brother did....... he took one of the bags off me to make up his 5 and left me standing there with only 3 in me hands looking at the woman.... and he WENT IN, the little sod took me bag and sussed and sorted himself out and went in without me...... and the lady wouldnt let me in no matter how hard I pleaded lol..... bloody jobsworth that she was......

So, I never got to see the chimps, the magical talking chimps that I thought they were...... I remember climbing over the drainage pipes across the steam and sitting there for the rest of the day on me own while all me friends AND me brother were laughing at the chimps...... I never got to see them, but I learnt a valueable lesson that day...... 'those that wanteth something so bad, has to nick the bags out of someones hands to get their own way - it was, sod everyone else, just get what ya want yaself' - well I learnt it, but I never could do it, Ive always put others first, and if me brother had asked I would of given him the bags without a bat of an eyelid......

Anyways...... where is this post leading....

They dont do the chimp adverts on the telly no more with live chimps, but instead of live chimps they have this soft toy sort of knitted chimp that sits and sips tea and interacts with some famous comedian.....and its just called MONKEY... over the years PG Tips have had other sorts of advertising but this knitted monkey has got to be about the funniest....... and every so often they give little ones away FREE if ya buy a big box of teabags....... and the saddo that I am....... I have bought some of the boxes to get the FREE funny monkey........ I have two...... one about 7 inches big and it usually sits on the side in the kitchen AND the one from last month which is about 5 inches and has sucker cups and its stuck on the window in me car..... I LOVES these 2 monkeys..... oh shut up.... I know Im mental but still.......

But, over the weekend I noticed that both of me monkeys were nowhere to be seen...... I wondered if the minded nippers had got hold of them and lost them, so I asked me lads...... loads of smiles and shaking of the heads and words of NOPE aint seen ya silly monkeys.......

So, it was a mystery.... UNTIL this morning when I got up........ someone is gonna pay BIG TIME......



Look what SOMEONE had done to big monkey..... they had hung him by his feet from the pot rack.... he must of been hanging there ALL NIGHT on his own, poor thing..... oh they think they are sooooo funny..... we will see who has the last laff....



Just look what they had done with little monkey with the suckers, they had taken him out of me car and only imprisoned him in the cupboard with the nippers cups....

Oh I can do real good 'paybacks'....... all I can say is, my lads had ALL better beware, cos no one has fessed up, so it looks like I will have to get even with them all :)....

Ya can take me money, you can borrow me heart BUT - DONT MESS WITH ME MONKEYS....

IF YA CANT GET MAD - GET EVEN....... This is now War... :)

To much Twaddle for a nippy Monday....

x

Diamonds? Silver? Gold? - Nah... I Think I Must Be A Boring Old Tart...

OK........ Well, I aint one to get pressies as such....Im more of a giver then a receiver.... it dont bother me, much lol, but on saying that I do LOVE to open a gift that someone has choosen or made especially for me, I have had a couple of those in me life. I dont get crimbo pressies or birthday pressies or cards from anyone except me 4 lads, and the 4 little pressies that were under me tree from me lads I couldnt open til the end of the day LOL, I just wanted to keep looking at them, wrapped with my name on the label and sort of saviour them lol, so crimbo and birthdays I dont have piles of gifts or cards on the table for me to get excited about and open (except the last birthday which was suppose to be a special one, a few maties here bought me flowers and balloons, which is a first in my life lol)....

I rarely got pressies as a child, me brothers would get wonderful pressies in bright coloured wrappings...train sets and scalectric racing sets.... and piles of lego and action figures....... and I would watch them open them and enjoy their smiles.... I would usually get a jumper or a cardigan lol often a hand me down from me cousin Sally, which would take almost a year for me to grow into LOL, but that to was ok..... its just how it was.... ya just got use to it, and ya learnt never to expect special things in life......and that is something that still hangs with me now at my ripe old age..... never expect, then ya wont be disappointed.....

Anyways........ all me maties around their birthdays and crimbo would say what they would be buying 'themselves' as a gift...... this has been something that for years I just couldnt get me head around LOL..... they would buy themselves a birthday or crimbo pressie...... how funny, and it was not cos they didnt get piles of gifts etc, cos they all have large and extended families, so they and their kids are spoilt for choice ....... like me, me lads only get gifts from each other, no extended family here to shower gifts upon them...... and that to is ok.....its just how it is, and that is why I try and make their birthdays special.... and always make a cake and hang balloons and streamers around the house....

I do sometimes, just sometimes smile and wonder what it would be like to be spoilt, I would love to experience that just once in life before I meet me maker....just to see what it was like lol ya know, just out of curiousity ....

So just before me birthday last September, I got to thinking what it would be like to buy meself a pressie for me birthday LMFAO...... how silly of me.... should I buy diamonds? silver? something in gold?......

Jebus I must be such a boring old tart.... cos this is what I DID buy meself...... AND it arrived on me actual birthday..... ITS A SIGN lol maybe a sign that all Im worth is a pile of decaying veggie matter LOL



Its a compost bin :) - I was so happy when it arrived LMFAO..... what a bleedin saddo I really am.... I told me mates, they laffed at me, and said, that aint no proper pressie... sometimes I dont know why these friends are me maties LOL we are like chalk and cheese, they dont recycle they dont cook from scratch they dont do pets and certainly they dont do chickens, they are so opposite from me.... but I love them so very much lol.....

For over a week I could not place the compost bin where I had cleared a space for it, cos first it had to be used as a fort, and a castle and a den and a lookout tower..... I had to insist by the end of the week that I WANT ME BIN BACK lol.....



How many kids can one get in a compost bin :) - looks like 4, thats with Jon squashed at the bottom looking out the liftie up door LOL.... they had such fun with something so very simple :)...... but now its taken its rightful place and I feed it everyday with all the veggie peelings.... and garden cuttings etc....and the herbie straw from Janet and Mabels bedroom :)... I LOVES me compost bin, to me its better then diamonds, silver or gold, the saddo that I am LOL......


Ok, you are thinking thats ya birthday done and dusted ya saddo, what about ya crimbo pressie to yaself...... shaking me head, I knows your gonna think, what a double saddo that tart really is LMFAO.....

Here goes, these are the little items I bought meself for crimbo, AND I even thought about wrapping them LMFAO..... which I didnt :)...



I have this thing about heart shaped things.... and Ive always wanted a heart shaped flan thingie, so now I have one :).. BUT no normal one, only one with a 20 year guarantee LMFAO...



A new cake tin :)... spring loaded ya know lmfao..



And not one BUT two quiche tins LOL.... I really let the boat out right? :)



Oh, how I just fell in love with this little orange ommelete/pancake pan :) its got little pictures of carrots around the side LOL..... ok, shut up.... I know Im a saddo without you having to say it.....

And last but not least was me most bestest pressie I found for meself...... remember me crimbo HUGE turkey plate with the holly and ivy design by Portmeirion.... well just ave a butchers at this little beauty :)



I LOVE bowls with a passion, I loved especially 'larry the lobster' bowl that I bought in Maine during the summer, but alas it got broken :( - this little crimbo bowl is still on me kitchen table with NUTS in lol.....

And all these bits and bobs I bought in the pre-crimbo sale, so they all together cost less then 25 quid which is about $50......

Again me maties thought I was mad to buy such simple inexpensive things as a gift to myself, no diamonds or silver or gold for me...... but then they dont cook or bake and will never know what pleasure I will glime from these items, long after the shine of their treasures have wained......

And even more of a saddo that I am, me maties were all rushing around crimbo eve in the shops getting all hot and bothered, looking for that last minute bargain, and where was I? well, only up the dump with the rubbish and stuff from the garden, I wondered why it was empty that day.... I just aint bleedin normal, this I know lol

Ok, say it, Melody you are such a saddo, no wonder you are on ya own in life.... lol..... your a lost cause..... well, Im just me lol.... :)

Way to much twaddling rubbish for a bright and sunny Wednesday afternoon.....

x

Soon Wiped That Smile Off His Big Fat Face.........

Ok........ so a couple of summers ago my Sam, even though he was fully vacinated...... caught MUMPS..... yep, you heard right, he caught mumps...... for some reason there was a cluster of mumps outbreaks in this village, and my Sam and the guitarist in his band went down with it ......

I think its unusual to catch it if ya had the vacine as a child, but you know how the luck in this house is lol......

Anyways...... there was about 6 nippers in the village that got it, from where, no one is sure, but all I can say is that my lad must be as 'ard as nails' cos the others that caught it were wellabit poorly, but my Sam, as did I, laffed each and every day as he puffed up and his head grew big and his face began to resemble a hamster.....he was fat and swollen but other then that he was not poorly or unwell at all...



This is Sam laffing when I told him I think he has mumps...

A few days later his face had puffed up so much that he began to resemble a chinaman LOL....

I told him that I should take him to the doctors just to check that I had it right and that indeed he did have mumps.....

This is the conversation we had in the car on the way to the doctors......


Me - Sam, ya know mumps at your age can be dangerous...

Sam - What do you mean 'dangerous'...

Me - Well as a little kid ya just get poorly and swollen, but at your age mumps can make ya infertile... (he was 16 lol)

Sam - Infertile, what the hell...

Me - Yep, and in extreme cases ya nuts can swell so big that they burst and they fall off and ya fall on the floor in agony...and ya cant stand for days let alone walk...

Sam - Oh shut up mum, you making it up...

Me - Ok Sam, dont believe me, but dont come crawling to me with ya nuts burst all over the floor asking for a plaster(bandaid) and sympathy...

Sam - SILENCE.......

Me - Smiling...

Sam - 5 minutes later...... so what do you think the doctor will do *gulp*...

Me - Oh he or she will have a look at ya swellings...

Sam - Well she wont have to look hard mum, just look at me fat face...

Me - Who said anything about ya face *giggling*...

Sam - Whats that suppose to mean...

Me - Like I told ya Sam, ya know, about ya nuts (SO KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AT THIS POINT)...

Sam - WHAT???

Me - Yep, ya will have to strip naked and probably get one or two 'unswelling injections'...

Sam - *gulp gulp* what the hell is an unswelling injection?

Me - (Dead straight face).... ya know Sam, in ya bits to try and stop the risk of ya nuts exploding with the mumps virus...

Sam - Well I AINT gonna let that happen... no one is giving me an unswelling injection in me nuts... they will just have to explode and drop off... (real scared look on his face)...

Me - Lets just wait and see what she says...

Sam - A SHE? then thats it, turn the car around and take me home...

Me - No way Sam, look, there's a parking space... lets go in...

Doc - Dont look so scared Sam, its not gonna be painful for to long...

Me - Smiling...

Sam - Please, can I have the unswelling injection in me arm instead of in me nuts?...

Doc - Blank Stare...

Me - Smiling and keeping me mouth shut so tight I could hardly breathe...

Doc - Sam, what are you talking about, I didnt say anything about an injection, and certainly not an unswelling injection, and what is that anyway?...

Me - Grinning like a cheshire cat lol...

Sam - Red with embarrassment..... me mum said that mumps makes ya infertile at my age and that me nuts will swell and burst and drop off unless I have the unswelling injection, and I aint striping naked and I dont do injections and I didnt wanna come and I think maybe I dont want kids anyway, so I might as well go home NOW...

Me - holding my hand over my mouth to try and stop the giggles...

Doc - And you believed your mum? HAHAHAHAHA... (she was now trying to compose herself).. Sam, your nuts will not burst, they will not drop off, and you do not need an unswelling injection ANYWHERE... except for your swollen glands in your neck the rest of you is fine, just let the mumps run their course, and all will be well......

She turned to me and said....... NOW, that story is mine to keep and to use when and wherever I can LOL

Me - Well sometimes a parent just HAS TO HAVE PAYBACK TIME and my time was today LOL...

Sam - I DONT THINK THATS FUNNY MUM hahahahahahahaha I will get ya back.....



Soon wiped that smile off his fat face..... see how swollen he looks lol

He LOVES me really..... this is word for word a true account of what happened :) - it was just sooooo funny... how could I not tease him, 16 is just a great age for payback LOL

Way to much Twaddle gone midnight on a Thursday night.....ok, so I couldnt sleep :)...

x

Poisoned......

Ok....... Sorry I aint been around....but Im in hospital.....

Let me explain...... yesterday I was wellabit hungry so I thought I would whip up an cheese and onion ommelete..... I rummaged around in the veggie basket to find an onion, there was only 2 left under the spuds and one had started to sprout, but it was ok, I would just cut off the green shoots, ya know I DONT like wastage so I would use that one first LOL.....



This is the sprouting onion..

The ommelete did have a strange taste, but I put it down to the fact that I used a different type of cheese then usual..... It was thick and yummy.....



Heres me scrummie ommelete...

But last evening, I felt well strange..... I mean REALLY strange..... me doctor came out and I was sent to hospital, he thought I had some kind of poisoning...... where upon further investigation it was reveiled that the onion that I had used for me ommelete was not actually an onion, it was in fact A BLOODY OLD DAFFODIL bulb that must of been left over when I planted them earlier in the year..... what a bloody DINLO I truely am......



See how alike to an onion a daff bulb really is...... it was an honest mistake.....

Well....... Im ok...... cos I didnt leave it to long before I realised something was not right........

The Doctors have said...... I should be fine.......

and..

I SHOULD BE OUT IN THE SPRING................ boom boom.....

I should be out in the spring, do ya get it...... ITS A JOKE....... I heard it this morning on the radio..... well not quite the same story but still.......

ITS A BLOODY JOKE........ and I was real a miserable git this morning and it actually made me laugh out loud LOL......

Oh shut up, its well funny...... :)

Enough Boring Twaddle for a Saturday lunch time...... anyone wanna take me to lunch?

x

Daft Cow.....

Ok....... so, I had 4 little pressies for crimbo, one each that me lads bought.... so there were 4 little pressies wrapped under the tree with me name on :)...ya see, we only have us, no other family, so me lads and I only have gifts from each other.. I am a person of such simple means, I must be the most easiest person in the world to find or make a gift for........ and....



I JUST LOVE....



ME NEW....



CRIMBO SLIPPERS....

Well, I should rephrase that..... I DID love me new crimbo slippers, until last Sunday......

Ya see, I looked out the kitchen window on Sunday and I could see Janet pecking around the garden but NO Mabel...... so I opened the back door and made that stupid clucking noise that chicken owners often use to call in their bird lol...... so my Janet comes running up to me to see what I had for her, but NO Mabel..... but I could hear black Patrick's cockeral 3 gardens over making a hell of a racket.... and then I could hear this other clucking noise coming from 2 gardens over..... so theres me stood at the back door thinking, dam, bloody Mabel has fluttered over the fences in need of a bonk from black Patricks cockeral the dirty little bird that she is, and has landed a garden short, and there is a terrier dog that lives in that garden and I know if they let the dog out then Mabel is gonna definetely be Sunday lunch for the dog, cos it has already had 2 of black Patrick's cockerals that have fluttered over the fence.....

Dont get me wrong, its not the dogs fault, its only doing what comes natural to a little cute terrier, ya know, ripping a friendly chicken to death.....

So without thinking I try to hobble fast down me rain soaked muddy wet slippery garden in me COW SLIPPERS.... thinking I will go out me back gate along to Neils garden where Mabel the horny bird was flapping around, before they let the dog out......

I didnt think to put on some proper shoes, so as I got about 10 foot onto me wet muddy slippery rain soaked garden, me slippers which are right stupid slip on slippers with no back, got stuck in the mud and as I sorta stumbled to keep them on me feet I slipped arse over tit and ended up on me side laying in the mud......

Ok, for some this would be no problem, but for me LOL with me gimpy knee which was tucked up underneath me arse and with me head spinning in pain, well, I couldnt just jump up LMFAO..... ok its well funny now..... so I lay there in the mud, thinking, ouch dam ouch tears ouch dam.... there was no one in to help me lol..... 15 minutes I lay in the mud thinking thats it, sod it, let me die here in the mud lol...... then I remembered that my Sam was in the house so I started to call LOL.... Sam SAm SAMMMMMMM..... he came to the back door and rushed out to help me upright, and then he just burst out laffing so hard that I had to box his ears for him...... he realised I was ok, but I was covered from head to toe in thick wet mud, it was even in me hair where I had just laid down and waited to die LOL...

I hobbled back in doors and put proper shoes on and then between us we went to rescue Mabel, which in inself was no easy task.... Jacob came in and he helped, we got a sheet to try and throw over the chicken to catch it....... we must of looked a right proper funny sight hobbling around Neils garden chasing dam mabel...

How I resisted wringing her bloody neck, I dont know lol......



This is Mabel just after I caught her, and yes, those are my hands around her neck LOL..... to wring or not to wring that is the question :) - but look at that cute little face, aint she adoreable :)

I told me maties in the week about Sunday and the slip and the mud and Mabel and they laffed at me..... Ive just this second told me matie Wendy (she has just come to pick up sleddie who I childmind) and she laffed so hard she upset her cuppa tea all over her trousers LOL.......

So the crimbo cow slippers that I loved, I now HATE lol they are well dangerous with a gimpy knee..... I know, maybe I shouldnt of hobbled down the garden in the wet without proper shoes on and maybe I might of slipped anyways...... but, I BLAME THE SLIPPERS...... I aint a 'daft cow' no matter how many times me maties call me it ....

An easy simple life.... that is all I ask...... Enuff Twaddle for a rain soaked Friday evening.....

x

Sometimes Its Best To Just Smile And Keep Ya Gob Shut ....

Ok.......... So, 4 or 5 days after crimbo and the fridge is overflowing with nibbles and scrummies and munchies, lots of savory bits and bobs as well as the sweet stuff.... I baked and cooked and baked constantly over the holidays, I didnt mind though cos I love it, and Im not one to sit and blank stare at the telly on me own with no one to snuggle up to, and me lads were in and out so I spent much much time stuck indoors on me own..........so I spent hours in the kitchen.....

Anyways, with 4 lads in the house, all home with no work cos of the holidays, and no college or school, they were in constant need of refueling as they came in and out of the house and they picked and munched their ways through endless amounts of homecooking.... jebus it is cheaper when they are at work etc LOL

Me lovely fresh turkey (RIP dear feathered friend), made 4 super meals..... obviously Roasted Turkey, and then Turkey, Almond and Garlic Bake which is to die for, then Turkey Curry and last but not least Turkey Lasagne...

We are also big cheese munchers in this house and it was lovely to be able to buy all the crimbo ones besides the normal ones.....I would so miss our variety of cheeses if I moved to doodleland...



Above are some of the cheeses we love...

Anyways, what Im trying to say is, that in this house, we NEVER waste food, if I see a little lonely onion in the veggie basket on its last legs, I will somehow turn him into a meal, I rarely have to lob out stuff cos its gone off, or veggies cos they have turned, I just dont like lobbing stuff in the bin, maybe it stems from the months when I was first on me own with me lads and we didnt have tuppence to rub together..... so I bake and bake to make sure all fresh fruit and veggies dont go to waste..... some of me mates buy fresh veg etc and then have to lob it out cos they aint used it and then buy frozen cos its easier LOL..... bloody townies :)

So....... me lads come in late one night and shout...... hey mum, can we munch anything thats in the fridge or on the table.......... sure I say, just make sure you cover it up after ya finished.......

Well, my Ben LOVES crackers and cheese and savory bits and bobs on cheesey crackers...... so he loads his plate up and sits down to watch the telly and munch......

He munched the crackers with the cheese, he munched the crackers with the pate, he munched the crackers with the savory bits and bobs........ and then he munched a cracker with this on.....



And I watched and smiled and didnt say a word, and I watched and giggled to meself and still didnt say a word..... and I SMILED AND SMILED and sometimes its best NOT to say a word LMFAO...... and inside I was laffing me socks off...... still best not to say a word.....

I watched him try it, he was not sure, I kept me head down but watched from the corner of me eye..... he tried it again on another cracker.... and after 3 more crackers he says.......What sort of stuffing is this mum...... oh I says, I cant remember, why?........ its just got this different sorta taste and is crunchie in parts and sort of ickie in other parts he says..... oh I says I didnt realise there was any stuffing left in the fridge........ well he says, there is and its wellabit nice, .....

I had to get up and walk into the kitchen before I wet meself laffing...... and STILL I kept me mouth shut lmfao

Ya see..... one of the days after crimbo, I baked a huge joint of Silverside Beef..... we dont have beef that often so when I do buy it I buy real top quality joints...... jebus it tasted like heaven :)...... well I tipped the dripping from the joint after it was cooked into a bowl..... dripping is all the fat and the juices that run out of the meat whilst its cooking... and when left it sets like fat lol

Knowing I DONT DO WASTE I thought I would make some fat and seed treats for me bird table with the dripping and a bag of wild bird seed I had bought the week earlier......

(do you know when we was kids we would spread the dripping (beef fat) onto bread and then squash sugar into it and have it for our tea :) EEEEEEwwwwww can you imagine now adays eatin a sarnie spread with melted congelled fat)

So I had mixed the beef dripping with handfuls of bird seed and put it in the fridge to harden before I put it in the garden as a crimbo treat for the birds .......

Ya can see where this is going right? lol

My Ben had thought the bowl of bird treats was a bowl of left over stuffing lmfao....... and had only eaten 5 or so crackers piled high with the stuff.......

Did I come clean and tell him what he had just eaten.......



Nah..... sometimes, ya just gotta sit back and enjoy the funny bits in life and keep ya mouth shut lmfao

A few days after he had munched the wild bird seed fat treat LOL..... he spied it out on the bird table....... oh mum, he said, thats a waste, I would of had the rest of that in me lunchbox for work........



TEMPTED....... I was so bloody tempted to spill the beans LMFAO......but somethings are just best kept to yaself, well and to share with ya blob maties LOL

More then enuff boring Twaddle for just gone midnight on a wet Friday....

x

Turkey Willys and A Beautiful Plate......

Ok.......... So, there I was crimbo morning with a huge fresh turkey infront of me..... sitting him gently into the roasting dish..... when my Sam walks into the kitchen..... just as Im shoving me hand up the turkeys bum to retrieve the bag of livers and the neck from its cavity :).......

Oh Mum thats well gross...... as I plop the livers onto a plate ready for Janet and Mabel me chickens to have for crimbo breakfast..... they leave these bits in so that one can made a good stock etc, but I dont bother with that, the cats usually get the goodies of the cavity lol.....

Sams face was a picture as I pulled out the turkey neck..... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT he says..... oh, its the turkeys willy I say...... oh shut up mum, it so aint..... yes it is I say as I hold it and wobble it in front of him...... MUM that so aint..... tiz...... taint..... tis...... taint...... so I put it nearer his face and he ran off into the other room with me chasing him, well hobbling after him in fast pursuit LOL...... he was screaming like a girl for his brothers to help....

Jebus, I heard him exclaim to his 3 brothers, you should see the size of that turkeys willy that mum has just pulled out of its bum........ oh my goodness, I was creased up laffing........

So then all 4 of me lads come out into the kitchen to have a butchers at the giant turkey willy...... all 4 actually believing that is WAS indeed a turkey willy lol....... then my Ben says to Sam...... I bet you wish you was as well endowled as that there turkey LOL......... giggles...... ya see, in this house willys and bums and bits and bobs aint never been taboo..... and things are talked about openly lol...... but a discussion on crimbo morning about the size of the dead turkeys willy was just to funny......



Sam posing with the 'willy' lol.... maybe thinking, one day when he is grown his appendage will also be as big...

I never did come clean as to what the turkey willy really was....... they still dont realise ITS THE NECK lmfao........ oh how wonderful it is to still to be able to pull the wool over their eyes, at their ages LOL


I have many many big antique oval platters that I use for roasts...... some of me huge plates are a 100 years old....... and like everything in this house, they are used, they are not just there for display and believe it or not I put me antique plates in the dishwasher as I do me antique jugs that we use on a daily basis..... me maties are horrified that I shove them in the dishwasher but ya have to be hardy to live in this mad house.....

Anyways, last year I fell in love with this GINOROUS oval plate by PortMerion crimbo collection...... its 23 inches x 15 inches, thats HUGE..... it was £75 quid which is like $150 to a doodle..... but it was in the pre-crimbo sale for only £30 ($60) and I so couldnt warrent spending even that amount of money on something that was not honestly NEEDED lol...... I was in this certain shop over an hour and I wandered back to this dish about 5 times, it just kept dragging me back and screaming at me to buy the dam thing...... and just as I was walking out the shop door, I thought, sod it, and I turned around and went back and picked it up and bought it..... I sat it on the passenger seat and then tried to convince meself that I was a right proper twit for falling for the cries of a plate LOL...... when we got home, thats me and the plate lol I unwrapped it and sat it on the kitchen cupboard where I could hear the shouts (in me head) of the antique plates, they was shouting at me from me welsh dresser LOL.... 'what about us' 'dont you love us no more' and 'who is that stranger'....... :)

So last year AND this year the PortMerion Crimbo collection plate was our Christmas Dinner Plate........ and gawd, how much do I LOVE this plate....... daft I know, there are not many material things in life that I love, BUT this is one of them lol.....



Here is it Naked :)

Aint it just so beautiful..... its also microwave safe LMFAO..... can you imagine what size microwave one would have to have to fit that plate into it LOL



Here it is dressed for dinner in all its finery lol



And here it is looking like its had a rough night on the tiles (english expression) like some cheap slapper after a quickie behind the lion statues down in the Guildhall Square LOL

I loves this plate, almost as much as I LOVED the larry lobster bowl.....I think Portie and me RIP larry bowl would of become good maties lol...... and Jebus help anyone that smashes, chips or scratches it...... you have been warned.......

Way to much Twaddling rubbish for a dark Saturday evening.....

x

Ungrateful Sprog...... HAPPY CRIMBO....

(The front of me tiny little house)

Ok, first of all I want to wish you all a very HAPPY CRIMBO.... thats to all of the maties and blobbers that have posted on Twaddle since I started in Febuary...... and also a HAPPY CRIMBO to all those hundreds of blurkers that lurk in the shadows and dont post...... you should of posted and left a few words, I dont bite ya know..... over 21,000 visits since I started....... ya must all be lunatics thats all I can say to even wanna read the rubbish I post..... its just Twaddle ya know, but honest truthful twaddle.....



(Me little lounge in me tiny little house)

So I wanna fank you all for bovvering to have a butchers over here...... Im not sure if I will be back after crimbo even though I have hundreds of stories to tell ..... Ive got many decisions to make in life in the next few weeks..... but we will have to see how it all pans out.....

Anyways.......enough of all that mushie bollocks.....

How ungrateful is Sprite.......

I bought her a special hat when I was in town with my Jacob doing our one day of Crimbo shopping....... she was NOT impressed.......



I mean, Sprite LOVES Janet me chicken and I saw this hat and I laffed so very much.... BUT LOOK AT HER DISGUSTED LOOK ON HER LITTLE FACE.......

Ungrateful little cow LMFAO.......


Please all have a safe and jolly Crimbo...... love the ones you are with and love the ones you wish were there with you.... cos ya never know when it is all gonna disappear...... may your Crimbo holidays be filled with love and laughter and special people...... mine, believe it or not will be real quiet.... wish some of your were here with me lol....... but most of all..... I wish I was in Maine.....



(See Father Christmas IS real, even if he is wearing my Jacobs socks and sounds like Jacob and is thin like Jacob ....... this is my special gift..... this boy is my main reason for living)

Much love to you all....... be safe...... and enjoy.......OXO

OK, way to much mushie Twaddle for Crimbo Eve.... PEACE OUT...

x

Winter Wonderland - Alright, A Wet Damp Tuesday In December.....

Ok....... so, its been a few weeks....... I wish I could spill the beans but I cant, I think I already say to much on Twaddle as it is...... I'll just say that life aint fair no matter how good a person one is.... that, is just a fact of life..... at least I still have all me teeth, just........

Anyways...... this post will bore ya to death, thats if anyone still pops over here to have a butchers.....

Sorta Rude Content... in a funny way :)

So please enjoy this christmas song that someone send me the guitar cords to LOL...... I so had to smile, it so made me chuckle.... hoping it works... (if you click on the below music score, it will enlarge and become animated) LMFAO....



I aint one to get dragged along with all the crimbo madness, all the rushing around all the frantic buying and lists and high blood pressure making of crimbo..... its just not me....... me maties say Im to bloody laid back, as I watch them frantically rushing around and moaning about crowds and money and food and buying trolley upon trolley loads of crimbo bits and bobs......lunatics all of em lol

Well, let me explain...... I say sod all that.... thats not the crimbo spirit..... thats not what its all about....... I do suss and sort out all me minded nippers at the beginning of December and with 13 to try and suss out special 'little' gifts with each one in mind sometimes takes a few days..... and I also have to make sure that any gifts that I send to doodleland maties get posted off so that they arrive in time for crimbo..... I just have this thing that they MUST get there before crimbo..... so that also was done and dusted - I choose gifts or make things from the heart with people in mind and what I think they would love or suit them..... each item is picked with smiles and love and special thoughts of that person in mind..... and each is wrapped with love and care.....

I love choosing gifts for friends, and I buy things thoughout the year when I see something that grabs me with someones name on it...... I dont buy for any friends here except one.... and thats me nut nurse Wendy.... she also is the only person besides me boys that buys me a gift...... so I really cherish her little gift and I open it on christmas evening when everyone has gone to bed..... its my special gift..... I mean, me lads buy me special things, but my gift from Wendy is different, and I lovingly open it on me own and I always shed a tear lol....

I am a giver not a receiver.... and thats ok....

So if you received a gift from me, please know that it was choosen with just you in mind and it comes wrapped with love and friendship.......and if I had everyones address I would send you cards and little special things...... but alas I dont have everyones addresses.....

Ya know I often mention me matie Sharon, well she besides me matie Wendy is probably me bestest matie, we bounce off each other and understand each others sick sense of humour and we can laff as just the most childish and stupidest things....yet in most other ways we are complete opposites ... but even though she is me bestest matie, there are so many things that I keep close to me chest and I aint never shared with her..... and even things that have happened over the past fortnight I cant bring meself to share......

So I carry much stuff alone... and that to is ok...... someday maybe I too will have a special person in me life to share with......someone that deeply cares about me....

Cripes, see how me mind wanders....gawds sake........

So I did Thursday at GunWharf choosing little bits for crimbo for me lads, and yes they still all have a stocking with bits and bobs..... I hang mine each year on the end of me old bed and I fill it meself with bits lol..... one day maybe that special person I talk off will fill it for me LOL - so me crimbo shopping was done in one morning with Jacob Sprite and Jon in tow...... and then yesterday I did a grocery shop, and had to smile at all the mental lunatic shoppers rushing around.... as we, me, sprite and jon just ambled down the stacked high aisles..... so...... all done and dusted in 2 trips........ thats crimbo sorted.......

Anyways, on Tuesday me matie Sharon suggested me go to Keydell Nursery and go take the little nippers to see the displays there, they have this HUGE HUGE barn just filled with crimbo stuff....... much of it well tackie and rubbish and lots of it animated...... so the kids love it AND they have real donkeys outside..... so thats a bonus.....

All I really wanted was some red and white winter flowering polys for me poo buckets out the front, AND we forgot to buy them what with the fun of the morning....



Thats right Sprite and Charlie.... pet the donkey..... the sign says do not climb on the fence or climb into the pen :)



I mean, there was no one looking right, and signs are sometimes meant to be ignored right?



Quick, hurry Sharon, the blokes coming........ this was the third attempt to get Charlie on the dam donkey.....

So after being 'told off' by a man that I dont think had anything to do with the donkeys or the nursery we went inside to the Wonderland to look at all the lights and ornaments and tackie rubbish for sale lol



See all that tack? lol Im more a 'real' person meself, I love 'real' things, wooden ornament or glass real twig rings and real trees.... BUT, each to their own...... my fireplace is done up with natural garlands with cinnamon sticks and orange slices entwinded and little homemade gingerbread men tied on, as is the garland up the stairs...... me maties laff, cos they go the tackie route lol, but, as I say, each to their own...... me and me maties are like chalk and cheese......

We come across this HUGE display of stuffed toys..... ya know, supposidely crimbo ones, penguins and seals and polar bears..... so we thought we would liven up the display a little..... and we stuck Charlie in the middle so as to pretend to be taking a crimbo photo...... which then started other mothers and grandparents to stand their offspring in the gap we had cleared.......

IF ONLY they will realise when they look at their photos with family or have them framed for family members, what shanigans we had got up to with the display....... LOOK at the polar bears in the display behind Charlie LMFAO....... jebus we giggled like silly school girls.....



Spot the humping polar bears lol........smile Charlie, cos we are laffing our silly socks off....

After a nursery worker came out to see what all the ruskus was about we quickly headed to the other part of the barn that houses all those little electric light up snow scenes and snow covered houses, and there was this ginormous display set up like a whole town with a railway going all the way around the outside.... well 2 railways to be exact..... with a little train going one way on one track and a big train going the other way on the other track..... oh Charlie just loved it...... as the trains approached each other it looked like there was going be in a head on crash, but of course they was on different tracks :)...

Well that is until we decided to see what would happen if we took one train off its track and placed it facing the other train on ITS track...... not knowing nuffin about train sets and how they work LOL what dinlos LMFAO.... I looked around to make sure no one was watching and reached over the barrier and lifted one train off its track and as the other train was pounding towards us on the other track I TRIED to place the lifted train onto the same track as the on coming train, so that we could have a right proper head on crash....... :) - BUT how was I/We to know that just cos the train was heading in the opposite direction on the first track, when you put another on the same track as the first one, it would go in the SAME direction as the train was going, NOT in the opposite direction..........

So, there I was, train in hand reaching over and placing it on the track with the oncoming train hurlting towards me..... when BAM I put the train on the track only for it to buckle backwards and fizzle with electric as it tried to turn its motors the wrong way LMFAO........ goodness, it gave me such a start that I instinctively pulled my hand back as a surge of electricity shot up me arm LMFAO....Im sure me hair is still frizzled.... by now Sharon was almost on the floor laffing..... Sharon, I DONT fink its funny, I could of died ya know....



Thats my hand after being zapped with electric..... see the other derailed carriages LOL

I jolted so hard that I knocked me glasses off me nose and they fell over the barrier...... we had to lift Charlie over the barrier in the dim light to look for me glasses..... which he eventually found MINUS one lense LOL........... oh my...... we found the lense on the railway track almost infront of the 8.15 to Waterloo LMFAO........ on the way home we had to stop in the opticians so he would put the lense back in and replace a lost tiny screw lol

I should sue that nursery for giving mE an electric shock and for breaking me glasses lol at least they should have signs up saying 'PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE TRAINS' or 'PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO DERAIL THE TRAINS' I mean, after all, they had signs about not sitting on the Donkeys ;)

OK..... if anyone is here and you have read down this far, then please take a chuftie badge from the crimbo sack :)

Enuff Twaddle for a damp cold miserable Saturday, even though me house smells of delicous mince pies baking in the oven.......

HAPPY CRIMBO MATIES...... may yours be filled with love and laughter and special people, if not in person then in your hearts........ my heart is overflowing with people that I wish were here with me/us...... maybe oneday aye?.......

ps....... ya know trouble follows me.... well go over to Dingleberries(in me side bar) and see how I caused a major bomb scare and was not only in the paper but on doodle local telly LMFAO....... I didnt do nuffin ya honour, honest :) (ya will ave to scroll back to Tuesdays postings) .....

x

What With The Price Of Parsnips - I Need To Button Up Me Cardigan....

OXO

Bloody Jobsworth - Gone But Not Forgotten..... Its A Sign...

Ok..........I aint been getting out and about to much of late, and Ive become a little bit of a hermit since the summer.... does that make me crabby lol..... (as in hermit crab).....lol

But last week on the Monday before all the poop hit the fan with me knee, me matie begged me to go out with her to Makro...... well in my car lol...... Makro is a HUGE shop about 14 miles away, down the dead badger lanes...... its what I think me doodle maties would call a wholesale shop place...they sell EVERYTHING.... ya have to have a trade card, of which I have 2 :) - you dont have to buy anything in bulk there, and we love to have a wander around and usually do lunch there in the cafe place..... once or twice we have taken 9 under fives with us lol.... and yes we still had lunch in the cafe, we just get out their pack lunches and they sit at the tables whilst we queue and treat ourselves to lunch... the kids have always been commented on as to their wonderful behaviour..... 9 under fives all as good as gold, some ask how we do it :)...... they just KNOW the rules LOL

Anyways...... me matie Sharon wanted to go to Makro cos they would have all the crimbo stuff in and we so have such a laff when we go shopping together and I so needed a good laff.....

So, we only had Sprite, Rhys, Cerys, Charlie (remember we lost him in a garden centre back in the spring lol) and just Jack..... so it was to be a doddle......

This place only has but a handful of shopping trolleys that have kiddy seats in them, so ya have to hunt the carpark trolley place for them....... but oh no, could we find any...... so we go into the entrance part where ya sign in to enquire as to where we could find some, when I spy 2, yes 2 bloody shoppers just going into the shop with kiddy trolleys....... BUT WITHOUT ANY KIDDIES in them...... RED FLAG RED FLAG lol......

So, I says, excuse me you seem to have left something in the carpark..... to these people that were obviously together (sort of oldish, probably late 50s).... puzzled look on their faces...... so I repeat..... you seem to of left something in the carpark...... no, not us, they say..... but you must of...... I says....... still puzzled looks..... ok, I says, did you have kids with you this morning?...... errr no, the bloke says....... were you going to buy some kids whilst in the shop I says?...... puzzled looks with a dont be daft woman expression on their faces...... ok, I says...... kiddy trolleys with the seats are few and far between and you seem to have the only two trolleys with seats yet you have no children with you?....... OH the bloke says...... Sharon is shaking her head and glaring at me..... lol...... We couldnt be bothered to walk to the trolley park and these were near the door...... well, would you mind awfully if I went and got 2 other trolleys for you, so that we WITH KIDS could use the trolleys MEANT FOR KIDS.... sweet smile :)..... the woman said.... but the seats are handy to put me handbag in...... LMFAO..... no no no no...... with that Sharon cups her hands around her mouth and says loudly...... SECURITY SECURITY TO THE FRONT DOOR PLEASE, TROLLEY THIEVES IN ACTION..... oh my goodness, the look on this womans face lmfao...... the Security bloke did come rushing over LOL and the people eventually swapped trolleys.......

I will say, this is NOT the first time I have had to use this approach... I almost have the script off pat with the trolley stealiers in Makro...lol

Goodness what a start, and it was only the tip of the iceberg that morning ... oh why oh why cant I just shop like normal people, how come there is ALWAYS something lol

Ok, whilst I was in the states at Sharkies on holiday, I fell in love with a lobster called Larry..... read here and even though I couldnt save Larry... RIP.... I bought meself a T-Shirt in his honour...... its way to big but I just loved it and I wear it usually when Im minding :).... and I had it on during our trip to Makro...



Here is me T-shirt.... Sharon was suppose to take a photo of me in it but just took the picture of the front LOL

So picture it..... :) me in me Larry T-shirt looking around the fish section of Makro when I hear...... Oh My Giddy Aunt Mel... I dont believe it, just come and look at these....... its one of your signs.... so I walk over to where me matie is pointing in one of the freezers and I spy this....



How sad :( - these lobsters were from Maine, where I was in the summer, where Larry had lived and died, these lobsters could of been Larrys family...... this I explained to Sharon, she just rolled her eyes.... she just didnt understand the trama of Sharkie not being able to save larry from his hot bath.....

So I took the photo, cos it was a sign, there I was in me lobster T-shirt from Maine and there before me was a freezer full 'ON SPECIAL OFFER' larry relatives...

Well, with that, I heard 'excuse me madam'?..... me continuing to take photos of the lobsters.....then, 'oye you with the lobster shirt'...... Sharon giggling, I look up to see this shop man walking towards me...... you cant take photos in here he says...... but thats larrys family I say, you dont understand...... Im doing this for larry..... Sharon giggling....... well, I have no idea what your on about, he says, but you cant take photos in here for security reasons....... me now laffing...... but you DONT understand..... thats larrys family....... I aint no spy, I aint no security risk, have a heart mate... they are special lobsters........ he must of been a right dinlo cos he says..... yep they are on special offer.... but you still cant take photos in here....... and if you continue, you will be asked to leave the shop LMFAO....... oh my goodness, we could be evicted at our ages LMFAO...... so, I just smile sweetly and mumble...... you dont understand, I loved larry and we wander off down the freezer aisle in search of prawns LOL......

Well so, an hour into our trek around this huge shop, we take the nippers to the crimbo aisle to have a look at the toys and the lights and decorations....... ya know, it was their trip out to LOL....

Ya know those toys, usually bears or whatever, that ya squeeze a little button on their hand and they sing and dance and play awful crimbo tunes...... well, there was a very large display of those and Sprite LOVES em.....I squeezed the hand on one bear and sprite was giggling and just so loved it.... but oh no, Sharon was not happy with that, she needed to test them ALL and to make sure they all worked..... even though we had no intention of buying one.......



This is Sharon making the bears dance LOL we decided to see how many bears we would make work before the first one stopped playing its tune and stopped dancing lol..... goodness, how childish, we was so giggling...... until...... thats right....... Jobsworth came around the corner to see what the noise was LOL....... NOT YOU TWO AGAIN was his opening line.......

He asked us, everso nicely to go to the checkout and purchase what we had in our trolley and LEAVE THE SHOP lmfao............

Some people just have no christmas spirit....... bloody jobworth....... least they didnt take me membership card :) - so we can do it all again next week LOL

Ok, enough boring Twaddle for a wet windy Wednesday.......

x

Woman Can Be Sooooo Fickle - Get Use To It Boys....

Ok......... I cant believe its been a week since last I posted, I didnt even get onto the computer between Monday and Friday........ what a bloody week....... had 6 hospital visits...... one to see me consultant, one to have a drain put in me knee, 3to have me knee drained and one to have the drain removed........ so what with that and trying to still work, and the pain, it left me completely exhausted..... hence no blobbing and not flitting around your blobs...... so Im sorry, Ive missed ya.....

Anyways, enough of that bollocks.....

Now that the weather here in jolly old england is crap, me after school minded nippers cant really get out in me little garden....... its just to wet and muddy and cold...and gets dark real early... well the colds ok but the wet and mud aint so great....... so we spend most of the after school day doing drawing or baking or puzzles or slouching in front of the telly......

This is their second home, and I would like to think they know that...... we have set rules and guidelines and generally they stick to them....... cos they DONT wanna make Mel cross :)......... I only have to up the volume of me voice one notch and they know they are up to the limit of me tolerance :).......

So..... this week, what with being down the hospital so much and just back in time for school pick up they know that Mels tired and not to ruffle her feathers lol...... a lot of drawing and craft stuff has been in full force this week..... I dont have a big house and I dont have a seperate playroom in this tiny cottage, so this middle room (which use to be a dinning room lol) is now a playroom and computer room and a mong out room........ There is a low table for the nippers to draw on or do playdoh etc........ if you saw the amount of toys and stuff in this room you would die LOL - I WOULD SO LOVE ME HOUSE BACK...... but alas, I have no knight in shining armour tying his horse up out the front, so I have to continue to earn a crust meself and continue in a job I know Im good at, even though its NOT what I really would like to do with me life....... sigh lol

But this week, one of me minded kids SO made me smile.......



This is me regular before and after school mob, plus I have other younger ones during the day when most of this mob are at school and I have usually add-ons of different other kids on different days, but this is me regular mainstay mob :)..... ugly looking bunch aint they...... so you can see, its almost impossible to have time off work cos I would be letting to many parents down...... anyways.......

I have to make sure that, especially after school this mob have enough to do to occupy their minds and to keep them amused..... they dont always like to mong out infront of the telly........

So after drinks and biscuits or hot buttered toast or hot crumpets, we get the stuff out, they love making cards, there is always a birthday or whatever coming up and we make homemade cards for them to give........

Did I say, I WANT ME HOUSE BACK lol.......



Now the culprit of the below tale is the young girl in the middle of the picture...... she has just turned 6 and Ive had her for 2 1/2 years, she is an only child and bright as a button, except at home, she rules the roost :) BUT NOT in my house she dont, she LOVES the boundaries I set and I NEVER get any hassle from her, like she gives at home..... I love this overstrung, stubborn little miss :)..... and sitting to the left of her is Jon, Jon is Sprite's brother and he is just 5 and has just started school, Ive had Jon for 3 years now and Sprite since she was just 6 or so weeks old..... and on the right of K is R, he to is an only child and he RULES THE ROOST big time in his house, a couple of times it has tried to spill over here with the other children..... yeah like Im gonna let that happen....... cripes, dont I sound like a hard bitch LOL......

Yeah see, K and R aint allowed to have playdoh or felt pens or bake at home, I dont know if its cos they are only kids, but I know both sets of parents DONT like the mess, that is why its nice that they get the chance to do many things here, that they otherwise wouldnt experience, just simple things, like when its pancake day and they get to make and toss pancakes, and I dont care that they end up on the floor lol..... thats just all part of being a kid.......and if I can clear up after me chickens I can sure as hell clear up the mess after kids...

Anyways......... after a busy hour of card making, and biscuit munching and drink sipping lol they eventually all monged out in front of the telly, and I cleared up the mess........

When I found THIS....



This was Ks, I so smiled when I saw this........ so I says to her.......

Me - Hey K, who is the card for...

K - Well it was for Jon, but he told me he didnt love me so now its for my mum, cos
he dont want it...

Me - But wouldnt it of been nice to have made your mum one of her own...

K - Well that is hers...

Me - But it has Jons name on it just crossed out with 'mum' written on instead...

K - Yeah, well I couldnt be bothered to drawn another one...

Me - Whys that, cos you know we have loads of different paper its not like we dont
have enough paper to use...

K - Well, me mum will probably just put it in the recycle bin anyways...

Me - Nah she wont K, she will keep it forever, even though its a second hand one

K - I can cross 'mum' out if you like and write 'Mel' if you want it...........

LMFAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Girls can be sooooooooo fickle......... Boys, ya just better get use to it.......

Ok, enough knackered twaddle for a dark Saturday evening.......

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