Monday, 13 October 2008

Fruit and Veggies - 5 A Day......Nuts and Knockers...

Ok....... This is long and probably boring but just the funniest ending, so TRY and slog on to the bottom lol...

We eat loads of fresh veggie and fruit in our house, I cant remember the last time I bought anything that was ready made or processed.... I cook EVERY day from scratch... usually things like huge bowls of pasta or ginormous dishes of garlic chicken lasagne or shepherds pie with sweet potatoe mash topping sprinkled with cheese, or lentil and garlic mushroom gratin with stilton topping... or massive casseroles cooked all day in me slow cooker.. and Sunday roasts at least once a week and and and lol....



Homemade cheese and onion flan.. ok ok so its in a heart shape pan, just call me romantic LOL

I try to buy me veggies and fruit from farmers markets and I LOVE to buy bits and bobs off little gingam covered tables outside the cottages at Southwick where the occupants have grown the stuff in their back gardens.... I also try as best I can to use our little village greengrocers to buy some of me bits instead of the little grocery shop that sells everything, ya know the old saying 'use it or loose it' and I would hate to see out little greengrocer shop close through lack of use....



Homemade sweet potatoe and onion curry simmering away in me slow cooker....... Mmmmmmmm we are HUGE curry eaters in this house :)

Anyways..... I also everyso often order a box of organic grown veggies from Riverford, which is this company that supply right proper fresh veggies and they deliver to ya door free of charge.... they are quite expensive but, oh jebus the taste is proper, ya know, how veggies should taste....

Me last box from them though was a little disappointing, so I aint had them for a few months..........



Homemade garlic chicken lasagne..... this is to die for..



Brocolli and mature cheddar quiche.... I have to make at least 6 of these a week for various sons to take to school, college or work for lunchtime...

But, the week before last a leaflet plonked through me letter box advertising another home delivery on 5-Aday veggies and fruit....... the government over here are trying to tell people that they should eat at least 5 portions of fruit and veg aday, and to stop all the junk rubbish that people are pumping into their kids.....



My homeade Egyptian Lentil Soup bubbling away on the hob.... I could eat this every day its sooooooooo scrummie.... this was a 2 gallon pot to keep us going for a while....

Do you know, when I take me minded kids shopping, we have such fun, BUT, Im amazed at how little they know their fruit and veg, oh they know the colours but some of them aint got a clue as to what they are called....... which lead me to ask some of the parents what they actually fed their kids for their dinners..... to say I was shocked is an understatement.........

Two of the nippers whom will remain nameless only have rubbish like - chicken nuggets (NOT homemade like I make) and chips.... do you know what those processed nuggets are made of, cos it certainly aint proper chicken (sorry Janet).... its things like crunched up beak and bumholes and nostrils and ears and bones with a tiny amount of chicken meat........ and fish fingers and chips (I think doodles call them fish sticks).... well unless ya buy the expensive fish fingers they aint got much fish in them lol..... and pizza and chips and sausage and chips, and I dont mean the real proper sausages that I buy to put in Toad in the Hole, I mean they buy those pink wobbly sausages that are made of MRM which means mechanically removed meat.... which means they get a pressure hose on the carcas of the pig and pressure wash all the tiny bits of meat off the bone and the bums and ears and noses and it all ends up in a slurry sludge and then they press the water out of it and make sausages from the pink wobbly stuff..... a bit like doodle hotdogs..... ewwww

Some of these kids never see fresh veggies let alone fruit at home..... all Infant schools here give the kids 2 pieces of fruit a day at school FREE as part of our GET HEALTHY thing over here....

Anyways, people are intitled to feed their own kids whatever they choose, who am I to judge, I just know that I like to know that my lads since tiny have had the bestest in the food department that I could offer, with homemade almost everything.... dont get me wrong they have had bought pizza before but its usually a treat... and I know when they was younger kids and they wanted kids home for tea (meaning teatime NOT a cuppa tea lol) I would have to rush out and buy some rubbish food cos there is no way they, the kids they bought home, would of eaten lentil and stilton (stinkie cheese) bake.....

So, anyways....this leaflet that I found shoved through me door was for a different company touting for business with the promise of only the freshest stuff and free delivery at a time to suit YOU/me.... at great prices.... with the offer of 20% off ya first order.... so I thought I would big it a bash just to see if it was any good.... ya can have a small, medium or large box with stuff of their choosing or ya can from a list make ya own, but I plumped for just choosing a LARGE box of goodies at 20 quid ($40) not forgetting the 20% off....... I'll try anything once and I always like to give new people and small businesses a chance..... and I spend way more then 20 quid a week on fruit and veg..

So, I emailed in me order, clicked send and was emailed back saying me boxes would be delivered on Wednesday (last week) and was there any special instructions..... so instead of emailing back I rang them, sometimes I like to put a voice to a leaflet LOL.... the bloke was well nice and I told him I was in and out most of the day so if they came they would be 'knocking their nuts off at the front door' cos I would be either out or in the kitchen out the back and I wouldnt hear the door, so to just come around the back and if no one in just leave it near the back door...... simple right? :)

Well the bloke came last Wednesday and he did come around the back like I had requested and I was in and I didnt hear the door lol..... he was really smiling when I opened the back door for him to carry the boxes in, he was a really nice bloke, right proper chatty...... and mumbled something about 'you made everyone laff so hard in the office, you really made our day' I asked him why, and he just said 'check ya invoice'...and PLEASE say you will order again..... we need people like you..... and he buggered off.... I couldnt for the life of me think what the hell he was talking about.....

DISAPPOINTED WITH THE BOXES I WAS NOT........ bloody hell..... the following photos so do not do the boxes justice....



This is what was in the box, and Im sure to of forgotten something....

Fruit box..

6 oranges - bunch of banannas - plums - melon - 6 pomegranits - 6 Avocardos - 10 English Russet apples - 8 other apples - 8 pears - and a bag of the biggest black grapes Ive ever seen....

Veggie box ..

A bunch of giant tomatoes still on the vine - baby carrots with the green tops still on - bigger carrots without their tops - cabbage - onions - brocolli - butternut squash - 3 peppers - cucumber - radishes - bag of large baking spuds - bag of what we call new potatoes, those little ones for salads - celery - leeks - cauliflower - Swede - turnip - parsnips - lettuce - and I know Ive forgotten something lol

All that for 20 quid.... actually for only £15.96 cos of the discount...... mega chufted I was....

Anyways, I was curious as to what the bloke meant when he said I had made them laff in the office, I didnt understand, I had only spoken to someone for just a few minutes on the phone....

So.... I find the invoice amongst the veggies and I have a look.... OMG...... hahahahahahaha see if you can see what the bloke was laffing about....... cos it well made me laff me socks off in me kitchen after I read it....... here is the invoice.... name and address covered over to protect my identity LMFAO....



Can ya see........ can ya?... click to enlarge and look in the box under where it says 'Special Instructions'.... LMFAO...... hahahahahaha

It says - ** Please leave around by the back door if no answer from KNOCKING YOUR NUTS OFF at the front door :) **

They had taken me instructions word for word LMFAO...... I think they liked me... Jebus they like me, holy cow, someone likes me lol

Why oh why cant I just be NORMAL for once, just for one day, or even half a day LOL......

There I told you it was boring, and way to much Twaddle for a dark late Monday evening....

ps..... all the above photos are some of the things I made last week, no one died in the eating of my cooking.... or even had the squirts.... and every plate was licked clean LOL saves on the washing up I says lol....

75 comments:

softinthehead said...

WOW I think you got a great deal on the veggies - I am seriously contemplating doing that myself. All those pictures have made me really hungry!! We need recipes please, especially the chicken lasagne, lentil soup and sweet potato and onion curry. MMMmmm!! :)

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

OMG. Mel... you make me smile as broad as the universe. I was sitting in her laughing all by myself like an idiot and Gab yelled from her room, "what's so funny?"... and then she started giggling because I was giggling... and when she's older I'll tell her about the "Knocking your nuts off" part. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could you maybe start posting the recipes for the things you cook? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?????

I love you so much Mel.

You just made my day.

... as usual.

<3

XOXOXOXOXO

ChrisB said...

All your cooking looks wonderful do you take lodgers?

Also the fruit and veg boxes are fantastic and seems like very good value!

Tori_z said...

I'd started cooking from scratch all the time, but a little over a year ago that became very difficult. At the moment we're eating some "rubbish" but my Mam comes and cooks some "proper" food for us sometimes, and every so often I can talk Kelly in to cooking using fresh veg. LOL!

LMAO @ your instructions.

That company sounds good. I wonder if there's anything like that around here? I know there are plenty of places (like the market that comes on a Friday) where you can get fresh veg and fruit, but sometimes it's not very easy to go to it for us at the moment so we end up having whatever Tesco's got in, or frozen veg.

Lulda Casadaga said...

Sure make me feel real guilty for eating a gross McDonalds tonight! :D If it wasn't for my husband and his new Weight Watchers diet I would not get any proper food! You must **PLEASE** give us the receipe for at least that lasagna! p.s. I plan to send out your pkg this week...

Lisa said...

Mel~ I am leaving RIGHT NOW to get to your house in time for tea!! Just plop it down and keep it coming!!

I had a good laugh about your instructions!! Only you!!

"Balls," cried the Queen, "if I had some, I'd be King!"

Phil said...

Were there nuts in the box?

Or did they knock those off as well?!

Hilarious.

Wish we had a service to deliver fresh fruits and veggies to our doorstep.

Elizabeth said...

"Mmmmmmmm we are HUGE curry eaters in this house"

OMG me too! And just looking at all those wonderful dishes you cooked I'm soo jealous!

I really want to have a veggie garden in next spring. It's amazing how expensive fresh veggies are getting at the grocery stores these days. *ugh*

LadyStyx said...

*laffz* @ that invoice.

Now, if they did that to me...I'd surely order from them again. When they showed up to deliver I'd hand over a small box with a couple of nuts in it and tell them "I found these on the front step, I think your last delivery person left them the last time they were here..."

*shrugz*
But then, that's just me...

Silver Valley Girl said...

Yep, time to post some recipes. Everything looks SO YUMMY!!!

Dumdad said...

You are so funny. And you brought some light into some people's otherwise dull day. And you sort of helped nudge me back into blogging (see my blog; I give you a mention and at no extra cost!)

P.S. Frog Queen would approve of your cuisine.

Mei Del said...

you're a woman after my own heart toasty cos i love to cook from scratch too, except for the puff pastry which i buy ready made and you just cut to size and plonk on top of the pie dish...

ciara said...

((((mel and anyone's for a nice thick banana and a slightly curved cucumber))) ya had me lmao @ no one got the squirts. o.k. i was laughing at your post, but the THAT that just did me in. lol

i am a mediocre cook, so none of that fresh crap would do me any good. besides the fact that i'm just straight up lazy. lol my family is lucky to get at least 3 meals cooked at home a week lol

i agree you should post your recipes. just none for black pudding and cockles, k? lmao

Casdok said...

Lol!!
Your not that far away from me so might just pop over!

buffalodick said...

Oddly reminds me of a joke about an armless man and how he rung the doorbell at the local house of ill repute...

Scots said...

(lmfno) - you are a nutter right enough! That made me laugh my nuts off hahaha

I too love the organic veggie boxes from the farmers markets but I don't have enough time to cook from scratch these days so most of the stuff goes into a big pot of soup at the end of the week.

Your foodie pics looks absolutely mouth-watering .... when can I pop in for dinner? hahaha I'll bring the wine!

Much love and many hugs your way for making me laugh on a dreich scots morning xxx

Intense Guy said...

Oh my - between the Marmite, Curry and Garlic you eat, I bet you can barely taste those scrumptious looking meals you have. And oh, do they ever look simply mouth-watering.

LMAO at your note to the delivery person. Thanks for the idea - I just have to use it, but I'll tell 'em it's a copyrighted / patented idea from MarmiteToasted when I do!

Thanks for the laughs!

toadman said...

Man! That looks scrumptious! It reminds me that Angela made a "Cottage Pie" for dinner last night. I'm having the leftovers for lunch today! I can't wait! The only thing missing from dinner last night was a good dark bitter.

Also, I'll remember to knock my nuts off when I come to visit you someday! HA!

And yeah.. PLEASE send the recipe for everything to my Angela! Provided you even USE a recipe...Angela doesn't really use one, she's brilliant that way, as I'm sure you are. Just email her with some general guidelines, and I'm sure you and she can figure it out and I can be fat and happy!

toadman said...

Also, what's mature cheddar? Over here I'm guessing it would be called "Extra Sharp." Is there a childish cheddar? Maybe a mid-life crisis cheddar? Just wonderin'

heh...

Akelamalu said...

I cook everything from scratch too Marmie. The fruit and veg boxes look great value, do the just deliver in your neck of the woods or further afield?

I buy all my lamb from an organic farm in Wales about 3 times a year - you know a whole lamb and extra stuff that I use a lot of. We are so lucky that we have a farm just 10 minutes down the road that sells their own reared beef and pork. I'm trying to get MWM to grow veggies in the back garden I've told him to dig the lawn up but he's not taken me up on my offer yet. :)

pUnKhAiR2Nv said...

Anytime you need a "taste tester" let me know... I feel qualified for the job because my Pixie is an excellent cook as well. Thanx for the tip on chicken nuggets, I may never eat them again.

Lehners in France said...

aayy Toastie, I've knocked a few nuts off in my time, but I'm lookin forward to bein able to buy fresh fruit an veg back in the YUK. France ((((XXXX))))

Jen said...

Yum! Everything looks and sounds so wonderful. I don't cook from scratch as often as I should but you have inspired me. I'm going to try to make something new from scratch this week. I'll let you know how it goes. And your "special instructions" are too funny. No wonder the delivery guy hopes to hear from you again.

laughingwolf said...

perfect, mt... so, did he knock his nuts off? :P lol

and wtf is NORMAL, anyhow?

JBelle said...

uh, yeah, I'll have the chicken lasagna with the organic greens and oil and vinegar. And the fruit, that gorgeous fruit I noticed on the way in, I'll have the fruit for dessert. There IS freshly baked hot bread, right? Some of that and butter. Bring me the butter of the UK. There is not a country in the world that does dairy like England. Nowhere. Not one. I'm waiting for my friend; you better get her right in here or. well, she'll probably knock your nuts off. she's really quite nice. but she'll want you to seat her immediately. as well you should. God, this is a nice place. Food is fabulous here.

Pamela said...

I want to come to your house for dinner.

I want your lentil soup recipe, please.

I think I'll sign up for one of those next year -- I hate grocery shopping.

PinkAcorn said...

Sounds like a recipe blog is in your future. Where in sam-h*ll do you find time to cook all that and take care of the kiddos? Those are great lookin veggies and would cost double that here in the states....I only wish I had half the gumption to talk as frank as you!!!!

Queenie said...

Why am i not surprised???????
Know other way than from scratch, thats why you've the fine strapping lads that you have. I'm missing cooking, like you i find it very therapeutic. Saving up for a wall oven so i don't have to bend down like i do on my present one.... At the moment we have so much beetroot from the allotment, we've pickled/poached/roasted/grated/boiled until I've run out of ideas as to what to do with it. I'm very popular with my neighbours, as they get all my surplus. You have given me some great recipe ideas ta for that. Great to read your posts again, coming back later to catch up....

Cedar Street Kid said...

Hey, MT, love the sound of that shepherd pie-one of my favorites. Also. the quiche looks fit for a king.However,, not sure if I want to even knock at your front door. The damage to my body that knocking might entail makes me want to pass on that one!

Mean Mom said...

All of the recipes sound great, but I love my slow cooker and the sweet potato and onion curry sounds best of all. I agree with the others - recipes would be good, if you could manage it.

Don't even contemplate being anything but yourself!

soul pumpkin said...

i think you should have your own cooking show on the telly so you could share these wonderful dishes (and enormous wit) with the rest of the world...
...'tll then, what time is supper?

woodsong said...

I KNOW you want to send me the recipe for the homemade cheese and onion flan. Right?

Cindy said...

I laughed so hard my daughter came to see what was so funny. Your list of processed meat ingredients reminded me of the time way back when we were newlyweds that we read the label on a big fat tube of processed meat. No kidding, right there in black and white, plain as day, was listed "beef lips" as one of the ingredients. We still laugh about it. I won't tell you what the guy I know who used to work for Oscar Myer told me about hot dogs...and to think we still eat them...

MarmiteToasty said...

Cripes - where did you lot come from lol.....

~((((spongehead lol)))~ I thought the veggies were a great deal, One is never sure on the quality when ya order things without seeing, BUT these were just the freshest ever..... ok I will think about giving the recipes, only I just do them out of me head lmfao....xxxxx

~((((pixie)))~ :) - do you know, my physio Anita runs for our local village stridders running club (she dont live here though) and so she knows some of the people that I know, and one of the blokes that runs for the same club, Im emergency minding cover for his grandaughters..... Anita asked him if he knew me, to which 'apparently' he replied..... yep, nuttier then a squirrels ball bag.... but the loveliest sweetest kindest girl... lol.... Anita told me this only yesterday at the hospital whilst I was on the 'torture chair' which usually has us both in tears, but we ended up laffing yesterday... she did say.... I make the 2 hours at the hospital 3 times a week a much happier laffing place when Im there.... well, inbetween the tears and the screams LOL..... I try to hold me tongue, but things just come out LOL..... I love you to girl....xxxxxxx

~(((((Crispy))))~ I'll have to take in lodgers when all me lads leave home..... I was toying with the idea of moving to the states and opening a little B & B I think it would be such a laff, only one me own it would be difficult incase I was poorly, who would cook the food LOL, but I would so love to do it... if people were late down for breakfast I would say, YA BREAKFAST IS IN THE DOG now get out lol....xxxxx

~((((ToriZ))))~ GET KELLY TO COOK - I dont cook nuffin fancy, not with my lot, just bog standard scrummie dinners and puddings.... xxxxx

~(((lulda)))~ I cant remember the last time I had a McD.... actually yes I can, I had chips and a milkshake from McD last year when I was in Maine.... my lads obviously do have some junk when out with their maties.. please NO packages.. :) .....xxxxxxx

~(((lisa))))~ and you know you would be more then welcome :) LOL@your queens quote lmfao....xxxxxxx

~(((((((phil)))))))~ All the main grocery shops do an online order and delivery thingie, and it only costs 5 quid ($10) for them to do ya shopping for ya and deliver it.... I often do my groceries on line and now the bloke even carries the bags into me kitchen lol the next step is to train him to put it all away in the cupboards LOL Im working on him :).... even our cat and chicken food gets delivered by Jim lovingly known at 'the pet food man' locally lol....

ps...... did you get the little package as yet that I send for your kids?....xxxxx

~(((((elizabeth)))))~ and yep, we even cook cakes and puddings and pies and bread and butter puddings.... even ice-cream lmfao.... no packet mixes here ya know....xxxxxx

~(((ladystyx))))~ when I next order, which will probably be for next week.... cos I forget to reorder for this week.... I might hang a little net of brazil nuts on me front door or the side gate lmfao....xxxxx

~((((Silver Valley Girl))))~ they are only easy peasy recipes, nothing fancy lol just simple home cooking.....xxxxxx

~((((((((((dumdad)))))))))~ I can only be me... if that comes with a little light shining then thats even better :) - and WOOOO HOOOO it worked..... your back to blobbing :) mega chufted...xxxxxx

~(((((mei del))))~ I buy puff pastry lol but make all the other pastry lol.... sometimes I wish I didnt have to work so that I would have so much more time for cooking and baking and other stuff that I would so love to have time to do....xxxxxxx

~((((ciara anyones for a large fat leek lol)))))~ I just think 'squirts' is a much nicer word then 'the runs' LOL.... take-aways over here are just so expensive.... but I would like to eat out more in our pubs, they make the most wonderful homecooked meals over here.... LOL@fresh crap lmfao.... sometimes I would love to only cook 3 meals a week, just sometimes it would be nice to be treated out to dinner lol.... except I DONT do posh places lol....

AND a thick banana and a bent cucumber would be just wonderful about now lol ITS BEEN A WHILE, I think I might of healed over lmfao.... that puts a whole new meaning on 'feeling fruity' lol....xxxxxxx

~((((casdok))))~ we should meet up come the spring when hopefully Im more up to it :).... Im serious...xxxxx

~(((((((buff))))))~ he probably used the same part of his body that he carries his ring donuts on LOL....xxxxx

OK I HAVE TO GO DO THE SCHOOL RUN :).... be back later.......

X

MarmiteToasty said...

OK... back... now thats a record LOL But I was determined that no matter how many people stopped me to chat I would not stop, cos I have loads to try and do today, and Im knackered before I start lol - physio knocks the stuffing out of me the day after it, then I have it again the following day, can you see a pattern here lol...

~((((((((((Scottie))))))))))~ you have to be careful with you nut sacks lol NO LAFFING for you at the moment.... you know I was disappointed you didnt get REAL PHOTOS of you op like what I did of mine lol....

You need a good woman in you life Scottie to look after you proper :)... dam, shame your to young for me lmfao..

Red wine please and your'd be most welcome to sit at my table anytime :)..

So, I made you laugh, now post photos of your todger op and make me laff lol fairs fair LMFAO....xxxxxx

~((((((((((Iggy))))))))))~ love me love me marmite/curry/garlic breath LOL.....xxxxxx

~((((Toadie))))~ I do the left overs for my Ben to take to work the following day.... all the blokes where he works get well jealous and they munch there peanut butter sarnies lmfao and he says they always ask him what he has for dinner LOL.... I imagine Angela to be a great cook, I am far from that, just plain simple grub in this house.... I can make a meal out of the very bareness of the cupboards somedays LOL.... give me an onion and I will give you a meal :)... I'll sort the recipe out for you.....

ps...... mature cheddar is the stronger tasting one, then there is extra mature, and extremely mature and then the extra extremely mature, and last but not least the.... makes ya bum sore mature LOL....I loves me my toadie family....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((ake))))~ when I was in the states in Wiscontance 3 years ago, I did some of the cooking, good old british stuff, me maties LOVED IT, they rarely cooked at home lol...... but when in Maine last year in the summer, I didnt get a chance to cook, I was out of me depths a little cos of vegans in the house..... I do not know how to prepare cardboard so that it is flavoursome lol..... I did have cooking withdrawl, and sharkie and his family must of thought I was a lazy old cow cos I didnt cook for them :(.... and I would so of loved to.... :(

Ake, I will email you the website and you can check it out..... I CANT do pork cos it would kill me, but bought the most lovely huge joint of pork that I roasted Tuesday and the crackling turned out spot on.... my lads love pork, but I had toast lmfao.... LAMB is my utmost favourite meat...... we do eat lots of vegitarian dishes in this house.... but I could not live without meat altogether....xxxxxxxxx

~((((punk)))))~ LOL@taste tester - I imagine pixie to be a mother earth :) say NO to bought chicken nuggets..... they are just to easy to make oneself with fresh chicken breats, garlic salt egg and breadcrumbs.... no bumholes or bones in it then lol....xxxxxxxxx

~(((((((((((France)))))))))~ I know your so very busy. thats why Ive not been a pest to you...... Im here if you need me.... know you and Bob are loved....xxxxxx

~(((((((((((jen))))))))))~ I just cant imagine not cooking each night lol I do have a break most Saturdays though... and we usually just have something like Bean on toast with an egg on top.... glad I might of inspired ya..... I couldnt warrent the cost of eating out or take-aways like doodles do...... xxxxxxxx

~((((((((((Wolfie))))))))))~ yes, I found them down the side alley laying in a puddle lmfao..... on the normal thing....... I hear to many times a week from various people 'you aint normal' LMFAO......xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((((JBelle)))))))))~ I have not made lasagne with mince beef in about 6 years lol since I was lazy one day and make it with a cooked garlic chicken cos I was being a lazy cow....... my lads love me garlic chicken lasagne more then any other thing I cook.... I cant and dont cook fancy stuff like what you do..... but it is just wholesome good grub.....xxxxxxx

~((((((pamela)))))))~ chucking the chickens out of me kitchen incase you turn up for dinner lol..... the weeks I hate grocery shopping I order on line and get it delivered...... but the days I like grocery shopping I enjoy it.... for the first 30 minutes LMFAO....xxxxxx

~(((((pinkacorn)))))~ well sometimes we dont eat til 7ish LOL.... and dont you know, I just lock the minded nippers in the cupboard under the stairs and make them peel the veggies.... I threatened them if they say they will tell their parents :).....

Who is this Frank? lol....... I talk Frank? whats that mean?......xxxxxx

~((((((((((((((((((Queenie)))))))))))~ so lovely to see you back....I have the most amazing chocolate and beetroot cake recipe that I have to make at least once a week here..... I make a huge one and it goes within 2 days lol.... the thing I found strange in the states was they dont really do puddings after dinner, lol there is always some sort of pudding or cake or fresh fruit or yogurts or icecreams to choose from.... or trifle or bread and butter pudding or or or lmfao.... love you...xxxxxxxx

~((((cedar))))))~ if you beat an egg in the mash spuds before plonking it on top of the meat and then grate cheese on top of that, the egg makes the mash all light and fluffy..... friends KNOW to come around the back gate LOL....xxxxx

~(((mean mum))))~ I LOVE my slow cooker with a passion..... I never brown or part cook anything it just gets shoved in and left all day lol..... the beef brisket was in the slow cooker for 24 hours lmfao, it was just the gorgeous tasting meat EVER....xxxxx

~(((((soul)))))~ lmfao.... I cant cook proper, I just fiddle along with whats in me head, a bit like life really lmfao....... I do not think Im witty lol.....

you my dear man would be welcome at my table any time... ANYTIME.... but you do the dishes LOL....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((((woodsong))))))~ok I will suss and sort it out for you lol.... but you CANT have me heart shaped tin :).....xxxxx

~(((((((((((cindy)))))))))))~ LOL@you AND pixie laffing enough to make others in the house ask why LMFAO.... yep, say NO to processed meat..... the thought of it makes me gagg LOL.....

and the pink wobbly sausages and hotdogs are really made how I described....

When I was married I use to cook lambs tongues, first time I ever did I just cooked them in a pot with veggies and gravey and plonked them on the plates, and sat and stared at this plate with tongues sticking up to the sky lmfao...... I didnt think to slice them first..... they licked the plates clean themselves LOL.... xxxx

X

soul pumpkin said...

yes...watch out for that "mystery meat"...i don't trust a sausage that i didn't see ground and stuffed with my own peepers...

...and Mel, is Nigella Lawson popular over there?...i love to watch her cooking programme...learned to make a raspberry trifle from her...yum...

LENORENEVERMORE said...

Woowee... the pics sure look yummy!
Feel free to drop by & I just posted a msg to all ladies! hope to hear from you dear...happy cooking*

Tori_z said...

It's more of a time issue than anything right now to be honest. When you've spent all day at a hospital or doctors' office nobody cares what's for dinner as long as it's done quickly.

Tori_z said...

By the way...

1). How are you and your lads doing?

2). I think the stitching's opened again, which means back in hospital once my specialist comes back off holiday. :(

Robin said...

O....k.......when I.....stop...laughing....I'll tell you......


----Gasp----picks self up off the floor......

Between the photos of your food and your descriptions of power washing wobbly pink meat off of various body parts, I don't know whether to cook something or hurl.

What I DO know is I want your recipes for
a.) garlic chicken lasagna
b.) Cheese and onion flan
and
c.) Broccoli and 'mature' cheddar quiche.

You are a riot....a wonderful woman. And you have to love a company that would put your exact 'instructions' on their invoice.

I'd buy from them forever.

Thank you for a wonderful laugh, and the recipes I'm sure you'll share..... ")

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((((soul))))))~ I DONT/CANT do pork anyways so I dont even have to try the 'mystery meat' I only eat turkey, beef or lamp sausages.....

Yep Nigella is popular over here, I have a few of her books, she is the grandaughter of the Tate and Lyle sugar people, well a bit posh LOL....

I LOVE that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall that does the River Cottage telly programme and books...... oh and Jamie Oliver of course...... I suspected the like of Nigella for you blokes is more LUST lmfao.... I make a WICKED TRIFLE....maybe I'll let you dip your fingers in me custard oneday LOL....xxxxxxx

~(((lenor)))~ welcome to the mad house lol.... fanks for the message, you put it across beautifully..... hugs....xxxxx

~(((((ToriZ))))~ sorry to hear your still going through shit :(...... the lads are sort ok..... Someone crashed into my Sam and totalled his car on Monday, but he is ok, just very very shaken and now cross cos he has no car, and my Toms Girlfriend was in a crash Wednesday on the way to work, and how she walked from her car is unknown its a mess.... other then that, things are ok....... still at the hospital 3 times a week, BUT I AINT GOING TODAY, to tearful to cope with that torture today, just stuff going on here, mainly with an X that just wont lay down and die.....xxxxxxxx

~((((((((((((((robin))))))))))))~ YAYYYYYY Robins back :)...... I really need to learn to be a nice quiet calm gentle sort of person now Im old LMFAO........ xxxxxxxxx

In_spired said...

Oh, Mel! You're a delight! You lead a life that has become almost obsolete in our hurry-up, do-it-quick-, want-it-right-now, world. (especially *my part* of the world)

Love the warmth and authenticity of your writing...

Blessings to you and your's...

jolie-jordan said...

Umm...looking good and making me hungry. Dammit Mel...you know I'm trying to watch my diet and here you go making me hungry. You silly old goose are trying to torture me to see what kind of mettle I have...or...are you trying to help me maintaine my weight and stay fat?

By the by I could use a slice of the quiche right now. Oh yum! I bet it would be super yummy with a dob of sourcream and some salsa.

love you Mel,
just me J-

jolie-jordan said...

And what am I to do? I look more like my mother each day.
J-

The Wife O Riley said...

Everything looks so wonderful!! My oldest daughter would have eaten all those fruits and veggies in 14 minutes flat. We timed her once.

French Fancy said...

Can you please give me a few hints as to how you make that delicious sounding garlic chicken lasagne please

The Mistress of the Moonlight said...

Where do I sign up for those boxes??? I know that they wouldn't ship to NY...lol! So good to see you are back in the saddle again. I laughed my butt off and now am butt-less in small town America. Miss you stopping by the blog...keep in touch. M

Kati said...

Dang Toasty!!! I wanna eat at YOUR house!!!! Those dishes ALL look good, and I do hope you'll post the recipe for your garlicy chicken lasagna. YUM!

As for the fruit & veggie boxes, what a score! Sounds like a great place to do business with. Glad you gave them a good chuckle. Awww sweety, we're glad you're not "normal". You're so much fun as you are! Too many folks these days are "normal" and that generally means "absolutely rotten".

(((((HUGS)))))

Lulda Casadaga said...

Come on now Marmie...a lot of requests for the lasagna!! And the weather is getting colder over here...we could use a good soup receipe...

I love Jamie with his little lisp...and Nigella is fun to watch too...I think I know why the guys like her too. :D

WW said...

Did I comment on this yet? I meant to before...sorry...

Toasty Warm, you are PRICELESS. I can just imagine you telling that company what you told them.

In fact, it's evident you did JUST THAT!

Who could pass up a post with the words NUTS AND KNOCKERS in it? I want to see a followup post on those specific topics...

WW said...

Oh, and I'll pass on the lambs' tongues, thank you very much. But everything else looks scrumptious!

meggie said...

There are parents & kids in this world that would almost kill to have you care for them!!
I tried to do everything from scratch too, & our kids were healthy & seemed to do ok in school.
Your cooking all looks so delish! I know you are flat out & all, but have you thought about putting some of your wonderful recipes in a blog for all of us greedy, er I mean hungry Antipodeans to enjoy??

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((In-Spired)))~ dont get me wrong, I have to rush around like a one armed bandit in my life lol....

And I only know how to write from inside.... hugs to you dear lady...xxxxx

~((((((jolie-jordan)))))~ wish I was there to look after you at this hard time in your life, I would cook you up a storm... my we would have such a laff..... I so need a laff at the moment as I suspect you might.....

I dont look my mother cos she is now dust floating out on the sea somewhere... so many unanswered questions... but I dont think I look like her anyways LOL....KNOW YOU ARE SO LOVED.... long email coming this evening... love you Jolie-Jordan.... so much....xxxxxx

~(((wife o riley))))~ welcome to the crazy bin.... there are very few veggies that my lot dont like.... oh that fennel non of us like but thats about it.... I could well be a lentil vegetarian if only I didnt like meat so much lol...xxxxx

~(((french fancy))))~ welcome to you also :) - I will have to do a post on the lasagne, its bog standard easy peasy and quick thats why I make it...xxxxx

~((((((((kati))))))~ I use to love having people over to eat, aint done that for such a long time.... sigh.... you would be welcome at my table anytime :)... sometimes though, just sometimes I would like to mingle with the crowd instead of standing alone lol...xxxxxxxxxx

~((((lulda casadaga)))))~ OK OK I will see if I can write the recipe down, except I dont follow one lmfao....xxxxx

~(((((shake it all about))))~ see, I do NOT lie, all me storys are honesly true lol.... just felt I had to prove this one cos I knew no one would believe me lol... its been a while since I had me some nuts lol.. ok, you come to dinner one day and I promise NOT to dish you up lambs tongues :)..xxxxxx

~((((((meggie)))))~ well, I try to be a memory maker to the nippers in me charge, just little funny things in life to remember, some of the nippers that I started with many years ago, who are now grown still, when I see them, say 'oh my do you remember when you.. did this or that and we went here or there' ..so Im doing something right........

I might not be good at anything else in life and be a complete failure in most things in my life.... but I KNOW I do a good job with the nippers....

oh if you want GOOD recipes then go over to BUFFALO's blob.... oh my can that bloke cook or what, he puts most others to shame......

Fanks for popping by :)... I went and read your blob, delightful, pure delight....xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Your explanation of those other kinds of chicken nuggets is probably one very good reason I gave up meat entirely long ago. I hope you were covering the ears of Janet and Mabel and Cedric when you were explaining all of that to us. They would be shocked and hurt I think that people actually eat those kinds of things. I enjoyed your thread very much besides that, but you can't please everyone right? You have a very unique way of writing and it always brings a laugh and many smiles. Thanks. The Stickman

Inland Empire Girl said...

Wow! Great photos, great food, healthy fruits and veggies all in one post. Truly amazing. Requesting like my sister above... recipes please!!

quiltmom said...

what a great story- You do make life an adventure - its a great thing to find the fun in life - I bet you spend lots of time laughing with your friends.

we eat a fair amount of fruit and vegetables in our house- lots of green salads etc.

Do come back and visit my blog - I do hope you get a chance to quilt - it is alot of fun and very satisfying to chop up the fabric and turn it into something beautiful.VBG
Regards from a western Canadian Quilter,
Anna

Pecos Blue said...

Wow yummy. I am hungry now for sure. I need just a part of your energy.

Mom/Mum said...

wow wow wow wow wow and DOUBLE WOW!
I feel ashamed of my so-called home cooking now. It is absolutely NOTHING compared to yours...
and that veggie and fruit box was frankly, BRILLIANT!
I am going to attempt to do a veg box over here soon as am so fed up of the plastic looking and tasting so-called 'fresh' fruit in my local supermarkets...
Thanks for visiting my blog the other day. Am adding you to my blogroll as I think you're dead funny. Plus, I love Marmite too!

Laurie said...

Wow, your post had me laughing so hard I nearly cried...it made me hungry, then not so much, then hungry again and at the end I laughed so hard I snorted.

Now if only you'd include recipes...

Mei Del said...

toasty you've inspired me to do a food blog! i remember when i first stopped working and was preggers or just had the 3rd one, the one i nearly died during the op and the ex pissed off to edinburgh to tour his show (this was before he was my ex), i thought i'd have a go at making puff pastry - well that was my one and only time, hee hee.

but the great thing about working with kids is that they love to get hands on in the kitchen - my eldest specialty is choc brownies, the second one did food tech for 2 years at school and the lil boys love experimenting in the kitchen when i have them in the holidays and they like nothing better than to lick the bowl!

Ms Mac said...

Brilliant fruit 'n' veggie boxes! And all those beautiful pictures of food. I am quite hungry.

Love the sweet potato curry. If they didn't cost so damn much here, I'd be tempted to ask for your recipe!

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((((((Stickman))))))))))~ I used one of me sticks last Monday when we went for a hobble along the foreshore of Langstone harbour, I felt so much safer knowing I wouldnt fall over..... you my dear man have given me a whole new lease of life lol...

Its true how they make those processed nuggets :) thats why the rare time we have them I make me own with proper chicken breast meat (SORRY JANET lol) - I dont know where you get the unique writing words from, when I read me blob back it just sounds like everyone elses lol.....xxxxxxx

~(((inland empire girl))))~ I will see what I can do about the recipes, only I sort of make things up as I go along and the recipes are not written down, they are in me head lol no posh grub in this house, just bog standard normal cooking...xxxxxxx

~((((quiltmom)))))~ welcome to the mad house lol well as regards the quiting, Im slowly getting the tools of the trade, I just need now to buy a nice sewing machine, as the one I use to have me now X lobbed it down the stairs at me one day in a temper and it smashed and I never replaced it.... the whole in the wall is still there lmfao.....I was more nimble on me feet back in those days lmfao.... but, I am hoping to maybe buy a sewing machine this week :)... still dont know when I will find the time to quilt though lmfao..xxxxxx

~(((pecos blue))))~ well me energy is waining to what it use to be lol.... I do push meself to the limit though..... just think what I could achieve if I didnt have to work 50 hour weeks ontop of everything else lol.....

One day my prince will come lol....xxxxx

~(((((mom?mum))))~ welcome to you.... my homecooking is just normal grub, nuffin fancy or posh.... just everday rubbish lol - the veggie boxes are just great and I love that the vegg aint all uniform shapes like in the supermarkets....

Woooo Hooooo another marmite lover in the world :) we are a dying breed..... except Soul Pumpkin is now a convert lol....xxxxx

~(((laurie))))~ welecome you :) - LOL@your comment, to tissue or not to tissue that is the question lol.... I will suss out writing the recipes down :)....xxxxx

~(((((mei del))))~ WOW just bloody wow :) you mean Im have inspired a person in this world, I can go to be grave happy now lol... and I aint never even posted any of the birthday cakes that Ive made over the years lol....

My Jacob is doing catering at school and gets top marks week after week, he truely is a gifted cook, but he does not want to pursue it when he leaves school.... and me minded nippers during the school holidays love to make things :)... but oh my THE MESS lol...xxxxxx

~((((ms mac))))~ welcome ltns :) - sweet potatoes here are a little more expensive then normal spuds but I wouldnt say they are expensive and ya only need a few in me curry recipe..... I use sweet potatoes in loads of things but most of all as a topping on shepherds pie :)....xxxxx

Tori_z said...

Sounds like you're going through way more than you should have to again. *Sigh*

Slip said...

I am a worse blogger then even you. Shit I have not even been on the computer for a week now. Busy, busy, busy. You could feed me any time. In fact I would like to get you and me bride in a cook off. That broad can cook her ass off too. By the way I love stilton and double gloester cheese. My nuts are the reason I can't wear short shorts!

Bina said...

Heck Girl! That was SO not boring. You could NEVER be boring and holy crap I laughed my ass when I saw that. You crack me up all the time, and yea, people like you! I would love to hang around you for a least a day to see you in action. That may make it on my list of things to do before I die! "hang out with Mel for a day". LOL

SisterOne said...

One more vote for the quiche recipe - you really need to post that one! Thanks for makin' us all smile!

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

*ahem*

I still don't see those recipes.

No pressure... just hurry!

*ducking*

Happy friday beautiful!!!!!!!

<3

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Toriz)))))~ Well, I try to keep me shit to meself and deal with it the best way I can......

You have so much going on at the moment girl, you know your in me thoughts....xxxxx

~((((((slip)))))~ yeah, life and shit falls on the mat constantly and I have to deal with that before blobbing.... sigh...

I reckon ya wifey is probably an amazing cook, me, well, I just muddle though with the bog standard rubbish thats in this posting lol, nowt fancy and frilly.... just wholesome and that can feed extras when they turn up to be fed lol....

Never wear short shorts if ya nuts are a dangling lol....xxxxxx

~(((((bina))))~ you do NOT wanna hear what happened on our Freecycle site last night lmfao.... it wasnt me, honest :).... see, I attract all the weirdos with no sense of humour lol.... if you hung out with me for a day you would probably get arrested :)....xxxxx

~(((sisterone))))~ ok ok I will write them down from me head....gawds sake....xxxxx

~((((pixie)))))~ sorry. life shit hit me in the face this week, I will unscrable me brain and find the shelf in there with the recipes stacked upon it :)....know you are loved......xxxxxxxxx

Maggie May said...

I'll come over to dinner ANYTIME! All the stuff looks delicious.

Are you telling me you REALLY speak like that? LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((maggie may)))~ LMFAO@really speak like 'that'..... speak like WHAT? ......XXXXX

the rotten correspondent said...

Thanks. Now I'm starving.

Recipes, please.

Especially the sweet potato curry. Yummmm...

pUnKiE said...

Havent been here in a while, I just got done watching "Man vs. Food" and now this? Geez i'm hungry and I just ate! Love you Mellie <3

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