Friday 28 November 2008

My Little Miracle..... Marble

Ok, Busy busy hectic week here, what with hospital appointments and working what will be a 55 hour week before I even begin with my lot, and our Tom's Engagement Party this evening, which Ive been helping to organise for over 140 of his friends, I aint had time to even think straight this week..... I do not know how Im gonna cope tonight at the party, its a bit out of my depths with so many people and added to that Im totally exhausted LOL its gonna make for a great mix.......

But, within all the hectic hustle and bustle of this week, something happened that warmed the cockles of me heart.... it made me smile and beam and feel all warm and protective inside.......

Anyone that knows me KNOWs how daft I am about me chickens Janet (who I found wandering around outside our junior school about 18 months ago) and Mabel (who just turned up on Sunday morning in our garden, we have no idea how she got here) and Cedric (who is our cockeral and was given to me by me bestest matie Wendy, who I started off with chickens last year for her birthday, Cedric came to me cos her neighbours complained about his cocker doodle doodling and she knows I aint really bovvered what my neighbours think lol)..... anyways..... I love these 3 chickens like I never thought I would LOL daft right?

Since Cedric arrived on the scene he has been 'getting his oats' as us Brits would say, daily from his 2 woman.... and during the summer we so hoped that Janet or Mabel would go broody and maybe hatch some eggs, but alas no such luck....

Until, 3-4 weeks ago, Mabel laid a couple of eggs and just wouldnt budge off them and even pecked me hard when I tried to have a look to see if she was poorly or not, ya see, I had no idea she had these eggs, she had stopped laying a few weeks previous, so I thought that she was poorly and went to lift her out of the coop with thoughts of dam vets and high bills...... but to my surprise she was egg sitting....

It takes 4 weeks for a hen to egg sit, until hatching..... and all day this little Silkie chicken would sit on her eggs only briefing coming out of the coop to rush up me garden, grab a bit to eat and drink and dash back and sit in the coop on her eggs, how dam boring for her... no telly and not even a newspaper to keep her sane LOL



This is Mabel a few weeks ago sitting on her 2 eggs, its not a good photo but she was getting cross with me.....

Mabel is our little punk rocker chicken, cos she dont have a red comb on her head like Janet does, nor a dangly wattle under her chin, instead she has the most tiniest of weenie feathers, so tiny and soft that they actually resemble downie hair.... the only thing with that is that she aint waterproof like Janet and when she stays out in the rain she looks like a drowned rat LOL

So, imagine my surprise when on Tuesday I hobbled over the school to pick up 5 nippers, we came home down the little track that leads to the bottom of me garden instead of walking the road way round... so we have to walk up me garden, I could see Janet and Cedric up the top end of me garden near the back door, but as I passed the coop I heard Mabel making a fuss and I hear chirping.... YES chirping.... it stopped me in me tracks and I opened the little door into the inside bedroom of the coop......

There was Mabel still sitting with her wings spread out wide.... as I went to touch her she went crazy at me lol..... I shouted for Jacob to come help me, I thought he can get pecked LOL.... he gently grabbed Mabel from behind in the 'chicken holding' position lol.... and Oh my gracious..... there was a tiny weenie chick...... AND... which was sad, there was also a flat as a pancake dead chick.... amongst the broken egg shells....

So, I present to you....... Marble...... my little miracle..... my first ever little hatched chick, I could not feel anymore proud then if one of me lads had given me a grandchild LMFAO hahahahahahaha....



Marble is small and round and fluffy and multicoloured.... whereas the other chick was flat and wide and squashed and dead..



We think that maybe this little chick hatched the day previous and somehow got squashed or even pecked by Cedric during its first night.....

When I reached in to remove the dead little chick poor Mabel went frantic, she didnt want me to lob it in the dustbin.... but I had to.... I couldnt just leave it in the coop to rot....

I then thought, I should remove Marble and mum so that the surviving chick didnt get squashed...... but I had nowhere to put them, so I rang me matie Wendy whose chickens had hatched eggs in the summer and within 5 minutes Jon her hubby had brought round a little hutch and run, so we lined it with fresh herbie hay and lemon sawdust LOL yes, me chickens are spoilt.... and carefully lifted Mabel and Marble into the seperate little hutch, she snuggled down and marble crawled under her wing.....

The night was to be bitterly cold and I was hoping against all odds that this tiny weenie chick would survive, and come the morning I was a little scared to uncover the hutch and peep inside........

I could of bought them both into the house in a box, but, thats not nature, and Im sure Mabel would be a good mum and keep the chick warm, she had enough hay in there to keep an army warm lol



But as you can see, I worried for nuffin...... and as soon as I had dropped nippers off at school, I shot up to the petshop and bought some chick/crumb so that the chick had its own special tiny food....



First Mabel showed Marble how to peck LOL.... and then the chick begain gobbling up the chick crumb....aint it amazing how independant they are almost from the outset...

You can see in the above photo that Mabel dont have a comb and waffle but looks like a beady eyed punk LOL



I love this little chick and Im hoping so much that nothing now happens to it.... me minded nippers love it and it will be a great learning thing for them to watch it grow....

Im hoping its a hen, but if its a cockeral then Im still gonna keep in, and Cedric will just have to learnt to live with another cock on his patch lol..... on saying that, this chick would be a tiny cockeral compared to Cedric.....



Here is Janet, Cedric and Mabel back in the summer..... dont they look healthy :)

I dont need flash cars or houses, or posh resturants to make me happy, I certainly dont need diamonds and jewellery, I dont need expensive paintings to bring me so much joy.....

I just enjoy the simple things in life..... my maties here in the real world just dont 'get it' with their flash cars and big houses and gardens all neat and tidy.....

Me, well, Im just low maintenance, I gleam so much from the little things in life.... just a simple life, thats all Ive ever wanted........ but, Im still hoping that one day my prince will come.... but he would have to love me chickens to LOL

Ok, enough Twaddle for a damp Friday morning, I have to much to do today WITH kids in tow LOL.... but thats me, Ive usually got a kid in tow, no matter what I need to do...... wish me luck tonight, I know I am well out of me depth with so many people and I will feel like a fish out of water..... but I love our Tom so very much, and I need to be there, he needs me there, that was his words last night...... so be there I will....

X

Thursday 20 November 2008

Who Flung Poo Is NOT An Item On The Chinky Take-Away Menu...

Ok...... before I Twaddle me usual load of bollocks I would like to ask those of you that have some kinda faith or that god thing going on, to please give big thoughts to me Maties Shelley and Bob and their dear brother Mike.... as their brother Mike is fighting for his life in a Seattle hospital with a terrible illness....Shelley is a dear dear friend and BobsBlob (on my side bar,please go visit) was me first ever blob that I read, and Bob helped me through a very difficult time earlier in the year, and in different ways, I love them all very much..... Mike (SideNote) HAS to pull through this... he just has to.... PLEASE MIKE GET BETTER SOON....

Fanks....


Ok...... It dont seem right to Twaddle about my rubbish when people that I care about are struggling with such pain.... but...... twaddle I will.....

Im still at the hospital at least twice a week and sometimes 3 times, its very draining and buggers up my whole day having to organise me minded nippers to go elsewhere for a good 2-3 hours of my day.......

Anyways.... I dont have to go right over to Haslar Hospital but I go to our more local hospital for my twice weekly visits.... and if I go down the back lanes and up the back of Portsdown Hill, the hospital lies just over the hill on the Cosham side of Portsmouth.... well, from my house I suppose its only about a 15-20 minute drive, depending on if I meet any tractors or farmer Cutler moving his cows along the lanes or if the ford is flooded like it was last week and I have to make the decision whether to try and drive through a 3-4 foot flooded road or back track and go down the other lane.....

So..... twice a week I drop Sprite and whoever else I might have at the time, off at me maties house and my car just seems to go on automatic pilot as I drive the well driven route.... well, a couple of weeks ago I thought I would shoot up Pidgeon House Lane where the ford is and come out on the top of the hill cos it would knock about 5 minutes off the route cos I was running 5 minutes late...

Pidgeon house lane is muddy from the farms and very very narrow with just little passing places cut into the hedgerow for the occasional passing traffic....

Im driving along trying not to think of THE TORTURE CHAIR that I knew I would get the pleasure of at the hospital that morning, which leaves me in tears and often uttering the odd swear word lol....with me radio tuned into Radio One, and the sun was shining...... as Im driving along in autopilot I always have a look around the fields and often stop to talk to the cows that come up to the fence if ya lucky.....



This is what a right proper black and white British cow looks like....its a milking cow and not a steak and mince beef cow, aint it pretty..... I LOVE cows and I would LOVE to have a pet cow one day...... I know I know, like that is ever gonna happen lol -(for Toriz who is blind - a photo of a black and white cow sitting down in a field)..

As I get almost to the top of the lane I glanced over to the right cos I could see a tractor in the sloping field.... it was pulling something behind it, I thought maybe a plough or something, but I couldnt see to clearly as the sun was actually shining a little in me eyes...

Often when Im driving on me own round the lanes, I sort of go into a little dream world of me own, always looking around at nature or wildlife, me maties hate driving with me down the lanes cos I look more in the fields and hedgerows then what I do at the road LOL....

As I got a little further up the lane, still staring at the tractor in the field, cos I LOVE tractors LOL and all things farmish... something dawns in me head, and I actually exclamed out loud to meself.... OH SHIT...... and I frantically searched for the button to shut me electric window........

It was not a plough that the tractor was pulling, it was a bloody 'muck spreader' and it was flinging poo every which way out the back of the spreader.... I might be dam old but my reflexes are on the ball lmfao.... me window closed just as the most enormous blob of 'poo' hit my drivers side window right a face level LMFAO.... if I had not been so quick the poo would of hit me smack in the face LMFAO.... I could hear me car being attacked by splatterings of the stuff as I drove... I could see the dam farmer smiling the biggest smile ever and I was laffing so hard, me thinks he knew what had just happened LOL.

So I drove on up the top of the hill and stopped me car....



Who Flung Poo is so not an item on the Chinky Take-away Menu.... well, I dont think so, cos I couldnt see not one noodle mixed up with the poo on me car window...

I didnt have time to get out me car and look at the damage, so I just quickly took the above photo and continued to the hospital which was then only 4 minutes away...

Oh my..... oh my lmfao.... I got out me car.... already now late and was gonna hobble to the physio department, but as I was locking me car this is what it looked liked lmfao......



I think me windscreen on the drivers side took the worse of the poo hit LOL



Side view, it dont look as bad as it actually was LOL



This one is a bit fuzzy but you get the gist LOL

I hobbled into the Rehabiliation Centre at the hospital, where now they know me so well, and I was still laffing..... as were they when I told them what had just happened...... Anita said.... why is it you Mel, why do these things always happen to you... most fall in poo and come up smelling like roses, but you, you just get covered from head to tail in poo LOL

The laffing was not over though, cos after me two hours of pain and torture with me physios I usually have to sit a while with ice bags on me cos after THE TORTURE CHAIR and what it does to me, I cant actually walk for about 10 minutes after LOL... and I hobble through the reception area far worse then I hobble in lol, it makes me smile looking at the faces at the 'new people' waiting in the waiting room as I hobble by lmfao....

So.... I gets me token out me car to go and pay and get an 'out token' for the carpark barrier and hobble over to the paying machine, when I gets back to me car there is a bloke just gonna squeeze down the side of me car to get to his car that was behind mine.....You dont wanna be doing that, I says.... its ok, he says, I aint that fat, I will just be able to squeeze by........ YOU REALLY dont wanna be doing that I said again.... he had stopped by now and was staring at me....... its ok he said, I aint gonna scratch ya car...... and with that he squeezed down the side of me car and I started to giggle..... as he got past me car I was standing about 10 foot from him and he says...... OH SHIT...... to which I reply..... I TOLD you that you didnt wanna be doing that LMFAO...... he had only squeezed past me car and had scraped onto his business suit all the poo that had been on the side of me car LMFAO...... he burst out laffing as did I.... to bloody funny.... he was covered in cow poo, his jacket his trousers and his lovely pale blue shirt and tie LMFAO.....

See, sometimes I do give good advise, its that others just dont listen to me :)



This is what me windscreen looked like from the inside....... praise the lord I was quick enough to shut me window when the first flinging of poo began....

Enough boring Twaddle for an overcast Thursday morning.....

Please dont forget to gives thoughts and well wishes to Shelley, Bob and of course dear Mike who is right proper poorly....

x

Wednesday 12 November 2008

Mission Accomplished - And - Should I Be Worried...

Ok........ first off, sorry I aint been around ya blobs and Twaddle of late.... trying to deal with Tosser X who will just not roll over and DIE... hospitals, a fall that has torn something in me good knee, hospital hoping I aint tore me acl that I had replaced a few years ago with me hamstring, will know more on Friday, interviewing parents AND getting the job for Febuary with 2 little boys - (The parents THEY LIKED ME)for more childcare arrangements and now an Engagement Party to organise for the 28th of this month for my Tom.... so even though Im finding it difficult to get about with 2 dodgy knees I HAVE TO STILL WORK lol... no peace for the wicked, all I can say is that I must of been a well bad kid and this is me punishment LOL

Anyways, enuff of all that bollocks......

Halloween came to this house in one mad rush, we dont do weeks before like doodles do, we just do HALLOWEEN NIGHT.... I let the nippers carve some pumpkins and we decorated the lounge, dragged the coffin out that lives under me bed with George in it and all the bits of bobs..... the minded nippers think that the coffin which looks like a real coffin that we made a few years back and is lined with black and red silk and the skeleton bones of George, well, they think its the bones of a minded nipper that didnt eat its lunch lmfao..... aint I mean.... it puts the fear of god into them.... that will learn em... fear is good right? and they all love me right? lol



This is George....

Anyways..... all me lads were going to various parties so I knew I would be mostly here on me own, I was invited to a party at Sharons but cos I cant get around to good, I thought I would give it a miss....

But, jebus the noise level in this house was just so loud and funny....... my Tom said he had a party to go to but had no idea what to go as, it was a spur of the moment party decision lol..... I told him to let me think for 5 minutes and I will come up with something lol......

BINGO...... I rummaged around in the shed and found a tin of green emulsion paint, its water based right? so that means its not like a shiny gloss, it would wash off right? eventually......

Well, we thought about it and decided to use it LMFAO cos we couldnt think of anything else.... THE HULK here we come..... so I painted, yes painted my Tom's face, arms neck, hands and body with green paint from the shed LMFAO..... we ripped an old Tshirt up and he shoved that on, we found some black spray stuff (I think it was car spray) and we sprayed his hair black lmfao..... all the time his 6 or 7 mates were just putting on boring masks and telling Tom he AND I were crazy lol...... oh my goodness, I laffed and laffed and laffed......

The finished product was actually great lmfao..... giggling as I type.... paint from the shed cost nuffin, as did the black car spray but the laffs were priceless....



Yep every bit covered, even inside his ears lmfao.......



Yep that will do lmfao...... the funny thing was, Tom has to work on Saturdays until 2ish, and he didnt get home til 3am in the morning and had to be at work by 8am... I didnt get up on Saturday cos I have a bit of a lay-in at the weekends or I visit Saint Matress Of The Springs as Soul Pumkin would say lol..... but when I did crawl out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom, me victorian sink and bath was no longer white but GREEN lol...... I waited with baited breath for him to come home after work, and sure enough he still had green ears and his whole face was green tinged LOL he had to scrub and scrub for over an hour in the bath to get the rest off LMFAO to dam funny....

The other funny thing is that my daft Sam and his matie Rob (yes there were about 15 lads and lasses here trying to get sorted, well my Sam and Rob decided to use the rest of the black spray and spray each others faces so that they looked liked gollies LOL..... they ran out before I had a chance to take photos.... it took a good 3 days to get the paint off their faces cos it was car spray paint lmfao......

Early evening whilst we was painting and stuff, the music noise level in this house was making the walls rock lol.... but I had NOT forgotten me mission of the evening....... ya see, I do get loads of treat or treaters, many of me minded nippers knock on me door, but they also know, as do most of the parents that come with their kids, that I DONT DO NICE on halloween, I say if they take their kids out trick or treating then TOUGH... they had better be prepared to be scared if they knock on my door LOL...... yet year after year they come back.....

Before my Jacob went to his party he positioned himself out on a chair next to the front door with a mask and sat or slumped real still.... waiting and waiting and I was inside behind the door READY lol..... we could hear the kids from across the road that were having a party, we heard them say to their parents, oh lets do Mel's place first please please and then again last LMFAO.......



He sat real still and as the kids approached we could hear them say (these kids were all about 5-7 year olds) I wonder if Mel is in, oh and look at that scarecrow its real scary, and I heard the dad say, it is, but its not real children, just knock on the door...... well as the kids came up to the door Jacob moved and howled LMFAO..... the kids screamed and one flew back so fast he smacked into me car that was parked out the front lmfao.... screams and tears and everything lmfao..... the parents laffed and laffed...... Jacob then took his mask off and the kids calmed down.... well, until they then knocked on me door. Ya see I have this hidious mask and I crouch real low behind the door and then I fling the door open and shout WHAT DO YOU WANT GET OUT OF HERE and I grab for their treat bags lmfao..... oh my oh......



This is me lol...... aint I pretty lmfao....

One group of older kids (6-8 year olds) Jacob wasnt sitting out the front (it was bloody cold that night) so he crept around the side alley and came up behind them quietly as they knocked on me door..... so as they screamed and turned to run he was there, it was just so funny, even a dad ran lmfao.... we did manage to grab one cheeky 8 year old and opened the lid of next doors dustbin that was out the front and put the kid in it, jebus he could scream and kick and shout lmfao.......

They KNOW if they come to Mels house then be prepared to be scared.....

Jacob even managed to scary the poo out of a passing dog walker who has stopped to look at our window display and to peer at him, thinking he was a scarcow, and as she peered real close he screamed as did she as she leapt back about 6 feet lmfao the dog started whimpering lmfao and then she started laffing and later in the evening she bought her kids back to be frightened lol

This Halloween night we made 3 kids wet their pants..... and one little 6 year old batman poo'd his costume lmfao...we shoved 1 in next doors dustbin and scared the life out of about 20 others lol.... the following day as I was hobbling back from school a woman ran up to me laffing and said, YOU made our night last night, I reconised the woman from when I use to own me pre-school, I said, I didnt see you last night, she said, Im the mum of the batman LMFAO....... she actually fanked me for making it one of the best treat or trick rounds LMFAO...... I just told her I WAS NOT responsible for the washing of soiled batman outfit LMFAO.....

There...... mission accomplished 3 wet pants and 1 soiled batman.... DONE AND DUSTED til next year :) - next year Im nicking an idea I read on a blob.... instead of little bags of sweets to give out, Im going to cook sprouts and dip them in chocolate lmfao..... now that will be funny lol as they pop, what they will think is a giant chocolate into their little greedy gobs lmfao..

The following night my Tom once again said, oh shit mum, think of something, I have another party in Town..... I told him I was all out of ideas, so he said not to worry, he and his girlfriend would think of something and they both disappeared LOL.... they came back an hour later on the way to the party..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now you have to know that my Tom is 6'4 and is gorgeous......he could easily make a male model if he so wanted instead of working in the motor industry lol.... his girlfriend Sammie is only 5'2 and tiny and petite and lovely...... well I laffed so hard when he walked in to show me his outfit that I almost had to rush out and buy some absordant pads...... I just couldnt stop laffing.....

If I had suggested to him a week earlier the outfit he turned up in he would of laffed and said NO WAY NO HOW cos my Tom is a right proper macho man....... this is what my gorgeous big strapping lad went out in a taxi on the Saturday evening to a halloween party wearing......



Yep..... aint he gorgeous lmfao...... the funny thing is my Tom has 2 half sleeve tatoos and a HUGE dragon tat on his back..... and his initials on his chest (thats incase he ever forgets who he is)....

He had only squeezed into one of Sammies maties dresses lmfao..... and she had done his hair and make up lmfao.... complete with fishnet stockings and suspenders and panties lmfao hahahahah and a handbag slung over his shoulder....he looked like a transvesite lmfao.....



This is him crouching down head level with Sammie LOL..... dig the beauty spot.... he had more make up on his face in that photo then what Ive ever had on me face in a lifetime lmfao.....



Should I be worried? he said it was right comfortable lmfao hahahahaahahahaha Tom wears size 13 shoes and sammie wears tiny size 4s so he put on his big boots just to get to the party lmfao..... to dam bloody funny......



I suppose if work in the motor industry hits a slump, Tom could always earn a little extra on a Saturday night down the old Guildhall Steps behind the Lion Statues, turning tricks lmfao (local knowledge thats where all the hookers hang out) lol



No one reconized Tom dressed as the Hulk when he walked into a club on the Friday, and no one reconized him at first when he walked into the house party on Saturday lmfao....... maybe his life should go down the private detective road cos he sure is a master of disguise LMFAO....

Through all the ups and downs and the highs and lows in this house, one thing ITS NOT BORING LIVING HERE lol

Ok, bored ya to Twaddke tears here on this crisp DRY Wednesday morning.......

x

Saturday 1 November 2008

I Dont Do Pink........

Ok........ I DONT do pink...... I mean pink clothes, to be honest Im not that much of a girlie girl.... anyways..... I did own a pink T-shirt once but it was a childminding shirt with our logo on and some dork ordered it for me not knowing that I DONT DO PINK.... Im sure that was/is the only item of clothing I have that is pink...... I do have a couple of pairs of socks with pink mingled in them amongst the other colours....

I also have a pair of retro kitchen scales in shocking pink which I LOVE so very much, and of which I would run back into a burning building to save in the event of a fire....but thats different....oh and I do have a little pink stuffed cat wedged on me dashboard near me windscreen in me car....

But do LOVE pink plants though... I have many pretty pink delicate flowers in me garden..... which is strange cos I DONT do pink lol.... maybe its my inner 'I wanna do pink but I cant' trying to come out in me plants lol







Besides these few pink plants I have pink mallows, and a huge pink Hebe and a pink Bleeding heart and various others.....

ToriZ proably good you cant see these photos cos they are out of focus and crap LOL
But I DONT do pink...

Then pray tell me why do I LOVE my pink Etnies with a PASSION lol (wondering how many of ya actually know what Etnies are lmfao)....



At Hayling Island..



At Thorpe Park..



Bognor Regis..



At the Ferryboat Inn on the eastern tip of Hayling Island looking across to Portsmouth.. ya can just see the ear of me pink cat which is next to me redneck horn that says rude redneck road abuse words that me matie David sent me a couple of years ago from California cos I told him I often swore at other drivers whilst driving lol so now I just hit the button and laff instead of swearing.... I can swear like a fishwife when I have to lol...



Langstone Harbour Foreshore..

My orange and red flowered doc martens (ya know, the ones I will be buried in) are getting quite jealous of me Etnies... cos they have been me hobbling shoe of late....

And when I wore them to me physio appointment on Friday, first Anita said WTF you dont do pink lmfao....... and when Nick came in to torture me double he said.... Mel, well well well do you now do pink?..... I think my NON PINK REPUTATION is spreading lol......I had to tell them both to SHUT UP lol......

Ya see.......... I DONT do pink........ not even on a dark wet cold Saturday November night....

Twaddle over.....

x