So Ive dosed meself up with double the strong meds in the hope that things will settle until me Friday appointment...... so before they kick in I thought I would stop Starr nagging me and shove up a quick post... before me head explodes and the sweat pouring off me floods the keyboard LOL
So...... I woke the following morning on the ward of 24 patients, unlike last year though it was not filled to overflowing with little elderly people, yes there was a fair quota of them but there was almost many that was around my age.... some woman next to be had her bunions done and a hammer toe straightened out (remind me NEVER to have me little hammer toe straightened - I would not do that for love nor money after seeing the pain this woman was in) - there was a wrist problem in and the various hips and two partial knees, and down the other end there was some elbows, this is an orthopedic ward after all..... it was strange waking up semi normal, well normal for me, you know, still able to get out of bed etc.....
I hadnt slept much though, not knowing what today was gonna bring........they wouldnt let me have tea or breakfast - just incase, they said....
Well remember the loverly nurse Lisa..... around 10ish she came to see me, my heart was in my mouth as she sat on me bed, I thought she would tell me that I had to go home and go back on MrD's list..... this is the nurse that most of yesterday had laffed and joked with me and eating chocolates and teased me cos I hadnt eaten and was not allowed to eat, she had the most wonderful sense of humour and under all that she was the most caring compassionate beautiful person....
Right she said, Mel, Ive been in since 7 this morning and my shift did not start til 8.... I grabbed todays theatre lists from all the surgeons that are here today to see if there was any cancellations etc..... she said after an hour of trawling through pages and pages of lists she couldnt make head nor tail of it..... so at 8.30 she went to the 'surgeons lounge' which is where all the surgeons on duty that day gather to discuss things and have breakfast and tea/coffee.... she said she had never been in there before but my case had touched her so much LOL..... she said she stood in the middle of the lounge and asked for quiet and then spilled my story... she told everything, about me and my job and life and struggles.... (jebus christ what was I a charity case lol) and explained what had gone down yesterday and if there was any chance that someone anyone would take me on their list today, even though there were a few complications...... she pleaded me case well LOL
When this nurse spoke my name in the lounge one Surgeon Nigel L-Bottom piped up and said, oh my its Mel, I did her acl/plc reconstruction a few years ago and started her off on this knee replacement journey a couple of years back but handed her over to someone more in tune with new technology, and get this, apparently he went on to say (no wonder me ears were burning lol) she is one of the nicest most geniene patients I have ever had on me file or met in over 30 years, even when she is real poorly and in pain she will light up the ward and everyone around her, she can make even the frailest most frightened patient feel special and bring a smile to those that most need it, despite her own problems.... someone needs to take her on today.. I would add her to my list but she is to young for me to do, she needs to be back hiking etc and got endless promises last year with the other knee, she is to young to be just pottering around and hobbling through life, someone NEEDS to get her back to full strength....
She would hate this photo of her lol..... she is not only a nurse but she was the ward sister.... she truely is in the correct job...
Oh my God, I said to Lisa, he so didnt say that.... she said he bloody did, he had me in tears she said, cos I know that you know Nigel and I know that Nigel sees through your hard outside shell, just like I do.....
Lisa then also said in the lounge, Mel so needs a break, she has had the most horrendous couple of year with these ops.... come on.... with that MrC who is actually a higher consultant/surgeon then my MrD said.... Dave knows about this right? this, passing Mel onto someone else, Lisa said yep and he is hoping to ring around today and try and fix one of you up with her..... so apparently MrC says, give me half and hour to go over her notes cos now Im intrigued with the woman LOL....... within half an hour he was back and said OK if Dave is ok with this I'll put her on me list, BUT it will not be today cos its a little complicated, but she will definetely be on me list for tomorrow.... tell Mel I PROMISE...... Lisa said, please MrC dont make empty promises she has had them for years.... he said, my word is my word, unless the building catches fire, Mel will be on my list for tomorrow, I will juggle around my time slots and tomorrow we will see what we can do for her.....
Dam girl she says, your bloody famous LOL - her smile was huge, she said she had NEVER done anything like that before LOL faced all the top surgeons on their own ground.... but she said she remembered me from last year and all the good I had done to those on the ward even though I was so very poorly LOL.... I was smiling and tears flowing at the same time, someone actually really cared about me and me plight, she had tears rolling down her face to, both were tears of joy and she said when Nigel had started saying those things about me to the other surgeons she said she KNEW it was meant to be... she went way beyond the call of duty..... she is an angel....she was my angel....
So, says Lisa, you aint going home today, the bed is still yours, think of today as a little holiday, go wander around the grounds of this 250 year old military hospital, go sit in the sunshine with a book, go hobble down to the waters edge.... but DONT go home (not that I could even get home from there LOL).. so thats what I did..... I was scared cos I really didnt want this operations cos of last year, but I was excited cos I had no choice but to have it done if I wanted any resemblence of a life back..... and guess what, even though they said I had missed breakfast they said I could still have lunch and they would ring down and get me a sarnie bought up, but, I declined, wasnt going down the Auntie Morris/Bedpan trail after I can come so far, they was not happy BUT I had to promise to at least DRINK DRINK DRINK today....
Ya see, this military hospital was due to close in a few weeks time, its been a hospital for the military for 250 years, they use to row the casualties down the creek to the dock and into the hospital, in and around the corridors of the hospital are wonderful old photos of staff and patients etc..... and as I love history I LOVE this place.... so wander I did...... the main building is HUGE and is built with 4 sides around a quad in the middle.... it is a listed building which means it has to be preserved as historical interest..... its not until you truely have the time to wonder the many many acre site that you get to breath in the history of the place.... all around the edge of the sight are beautiful 200 year old houses where the top surgeons would of lived and the naval captains etc.... I do not know what will become of these buildings as many of those are also listed.... that means you can change the insides but NOT the outsides, I expect the main part which is HUGE and on 3 levels plus basement will be made into luxury flats on the inside but the outside will remain as its beautiful self....
Just look at this entrance.... beautiful..
And this plague for those that died in the great war, there were other plagues around the place with those that had died in other wars to....
There were so many interesting (to a history nut) plagues and things scattered around the place....
And of course our union jack in the little rose garden, again with plagues with meanings and thats the old bell off of something or other LOL....
This is the looking through the doors under the first carved main entrance into the building I was in, just see how deep the building is - look at those 250 year old quarry tile floors and if you look real close you can see the old iron tram lines that are embeded in the tiles, well old or what... I was in me element.... maybe my cancelled op was a sign to breath and take in all the history of this place...
I spent much of me day sitting in the sunshine reading me book, I never usually have time for that, just lazing around doing nuffin.... and much of the time I spend running/hobbling up and down in the lift getting things for patients from the little navi shop.... newspapers and extra drinks and sweets and stuff..... throw me arms in the air, what am I a bloody servant I exclaimed once LOL...... I sat with a real old little lady called Violet who was not allowed out of bed and who had asked me if I could go and buy her a paper, when I bought it back for her she said 'I dont know why I wanted it cos my sight is so bad I cant read it' LOL you daft cow I said... so I spent the best part of an hour sitting on the chair next to Violet reading her the daily news...... she kept taking hold of me hand and rambling on about different stuff, what is it with people and me that they seem to spill their life stories out to me lol..... I think the paper was just a ploy and she just wanted someone to hold her scared hand and to chat to......... gawds sake.... she said her family had visited but they had just talked amongst themselves as if she was not even there, she said they was only after her money if she died lol so I said she could leave it to me if she wished LOL..... she said I had chatted to her more in that hour and had made her smile then her family had bothered to talk to her on their visits.... I said, cut the bastards out of ya will Violet and leave anything ya have to the Cats Home..... with which she laffed so hard the top set of her teeth shot out and landed on the covers of her bed....... oh my goodness I almost piddled meself laffing as did she lmfao...... the nurses had to come and see what the fuss was about..... they to started laffing.... when she had stopped laffing she said, just because Im old and cant see to well, it dont mean Im not a person with feelings and she squeezed me hand.... good job she was as blind as a bat and couldnt see me tears.... I just wanted to scoop her up and take her home to live with me LOL.... I wonder if she is good at ironing lmfao....
This was Ally that just couldnt stop laffing LOL she remembers me not only from last year but from 5 years back when Nigel L-Bottom had done me acl/pcl reconstruction.... I had no idea out of the hundreds and hundreds of patients since, why she remembered me LOL
When Violet dozed off for a nap and everyone on the ward had worn me ragged with running back and forth to the Navi shop, I took me book again and went and sat outside in the sunshine to read me book.....
This is looking across to the upper ward where I was and across the inner quad, its very sheltered there cos its enclosed on all 4 sides, cos it can get right proper windy in the grounds cos the hospital is right on the seashore....
It was amazing to think of all the Sailors that would of been treated in this hospital over the last 250 years, when medicine and treatment was still in its infancy.. the pain and suffering and the not really knowing, and without the technology of nowadays.....
This is looking the other way, you can just see the beautiful ancient water tower, aint it just gorgeous.... obviously it aint no water tower now, not sure what they use it for, but its my the military security entrance just as you come onto the sight.... its quite outstanding....
I didnt eat lunch nor dinner that evening, just sips of water... I sat in the telly room whilst everyone else had their supper... thoughts rushing through me head about tomorrow, fears cos of last year..... I had idled about the day, what a lazy cow I was LOL.... I sat and watched telly til 1 in the morning, knowing I wouldnt sleep.....someone keep popping their head around the door just to check I was ok.. of course I was, not a drop of blood in sight LOL..... Lisa came and said she was off and was not in tomorrow and good luck and that she would be thinking of me and would be back in the following day, big hugs and tears all round.... she said 'your okay you are Mel, crazy and mad, but loving and caring and alright, I bet you dont let many people see that' .... oh shut ya mouth I said LOL Im well ard ;)....
I crawled into bed just gone 1am knowing the last night of tucking me knees up and sleeping all curled up like I usually do with me blankie lmfao I tossed and turned.....
Lets just see what happens tomorrow, surely something would crop up to put a stick in the works...... something will go wrong, cos after all..... it always does where Im concerned.....
But lets hope that tomorrow was not empty promises like last year, I could do this alone again, no hand to hold.... tomorrow might be the first day of getting my hiking legs back and getting my life back on track for ME..... I so wish I had had someone to snuggle up to that night.... my pillow was wet with tears.... but I knew there would be no one there to wipe them away......
Tomorrow...... lets see what cock up would happen tomorrow lol
Happy now Starr? LMFAO ;) Im burning up now and I think I might go to bed for a little while...
Ok, to much waffling Twaddle.........
Know you are loved.....
x










