Thursday, 3 September 2009

First Proper Trip Out - Trouble On A Bike

Ok....... I know, I know its been a while....... but if you was where I was right now you might understand.... on top of all the shit I already am carrying with trying to recover from all these surgeries in the past year, life threw me such a curveball this past month....

People have shit on me big time.... so much so that my house is on the line and Im trying as best I can to keep our heads above water whilst doing the doggie paddle...

Anyways, enough of my shit....... Im not gonna do the last installment of me hospital visit LOL well not yet.... Ive had enough of hospitals and all that nonsense, maybe I will do that last part in a few weeks.... need to get it down for me lads, but not now.....

Im doing okay, sorta.... still having physio twice a week which is knackering at the best of times.... Im sorta walking if you can call it that with no crutches now.... though very vulvernable and a bit wobbly especially on uneven ground....... Ive been driving for a couple of weeks now, which has given me a bit of freedom.....

Got kids this week, just as holiday and sickness cover.... dont have much work when schools go back next week, just me before and after schoolers, which wont keep the wolfs from the door...... basically Im stuffed for being a good person, Im stuffed for having surgery, Im stuffed for believing that people besides myself had morals and kept to promises, Im stuffed in being a genuine caring loving person..... maybe I should turn into a shitbag, a nasty piece of work, someone that dont give a dam, someone that dont put others first, someone that dont give a stuff....... cos, its taken me all this time to realise, that most people are just out for themselves and they even stuff ya when ya most vulnerable, they stuff ya cos someone having major surgery just dont fit in with their fucking holiday plans......

So, Ive not been Twaddling, Ive sat often with the page open and just couldnt bring myself to Twaddle.... and whilst sitting here Ive thought of all the wonderful friends and people I have meet through this blob and through other blobs, people I have never meet that have sent well wishes and cards and gifts, most of which I so dont deserve.... people that know me probably better then most people here.... people that I have grown so fond of over my time on Twaddle... people I have come to love..... so I fank you all for your well wishes and your beautiful cards and the little gifts, all of which lifted my spirits when I was at such a loss at to human nature and shithead people.... you restored my faith in people..... there are good out there besides those that only take for themselves...... so I fank you all from the bottom of my heart.... I would say soul, but that still aint come back to me yet LOL

But today Im gonna Twaddle, I need to...... but, not about hospitals and shithead people and being stuffed by unmoral nasty pieces of shit LOL

Ok, so we aint had a summer, not really, just odd sunny days, no long hot summer days here..... I take it as a sign, thats 2 years on the trot after major surgery that the summer has left us.... 2 years on the trot that people I loved and trusted have shit on me...... so its a sign.... a sign that maybe Im at fault....maybe by being the person I am, it somehow gives people permission to use and abuse 'me'....... I need to learn from what has happened and not change the person I am, but be strong in the belief that who I am is okay, its who Im suppose to be....anyways once again Im off track LOL soooooooo.....

A couple of weeks ago, after not being out of the house except for hospital and doctors appointments (and no, maties aint offered to come and take me out or anything..... fuck em aye) being stuck in the house for over 3 months aint been fun.... also with no money cos Im self employed, its been difficult.... Ive barely kept me sanity LOL... but a few weeks ago, I told me physio...... sod it, Im driving, he gave me a few lessons in the carpark at the hospital and I was ready to go, with, Mel only really drive when you have to LOL..... oh shut it nick....

We had a sunny Sunday a few weeks back so I said to me lads.... ok, lets go to the pub, our little favourite pub, right on the waters edge of the harbour.... lets go get something to eat.... lets go bleeding mental and treat ourselves LOL (you see both my Ben and Sam are out of work, due to redundancies and in England unlike in America dole money is pennies)..... I rarely treat myself, and I have maties that eat out 2-3 times a week, not just once in a blue moon like I do LOL....

Our Tom was poorly so that just left me, Ben, Sam and Jacob.... sod it, I said, I have the last 30 quid in me purse me might as well go down with a smile and a nice memory LOL

So off to Hayling we went, it was strange driving...... Sam couldnt drive my car you see, he aint insured, and his car has been off the road for months..... Ben couldnt drive my car cos he is banned for 2 years LOL (long story)... and of course at 16 Jacob is to young..... anyways, it was fine, sorta LOL it was just nice to get out..... I was like an inmate that had been on day release LOL..... oh there was a world outside the 4 walls of my house.... I actually saw real people out and about lmfao.... how bloody pathetic aye lol

The Ferryboat is a pub on the Western tip of Hayling Island, Ive talked about it here before.... there is one little road down to the pub, not to wide so if there are people on bikes you have to go way slow until there is a break in the traffic coming the other way before one can over take the bikes......

And bikes there was on that sunday a few weeks back..... the road only leads to the pub and the beach..... anyways...... we was stuck behind 2 bikes that were riding side by side (how rude) instead of them riding single file cos the road was narrow.... and cars coming the other way made it difficult for us to try and pass without knocking the tossers into the hedge, and believe me, it was in my head lol.....

My Sam said, beep the horn mum..... no Sam its ok, we will wait.... after 4-5 minutes of crawling behind these ignorant gits lol... there was a break in the cars and bikes coming the other way so I had room to overtake these bikes in front of us..... oh my goodness to dam funny...... as we pulled level with them my Sam reached over and beeped me horn LMFAO..... the bloke on the bike began waving his fist and mouthing something at us.... to dam funny...... and as we pulled level his face was a picture of anger LOL.... we was in fits of giggles by now, and boys being boys my Sam made the 'wanker sign' at him out the side window at the bloke for being such a tosser LOL..... we drove off with visions of him in the mirror waving his fist and shouting things we couldnt hear....... blimey, talk about 'bike rage' LOL all we did was beep the horn, and he shouldnt of been so rude as to ride side by side on a narrow road....

So we get to the pub, there is no way I was gonna walk across the carpark and across the eating area with me crutches.... so for the first time I tried to walk without them LOL..... bit of a mistake lmfao..... but, oh well..... I kept saying I WILL NOT BE A CRIMPLE I WILL NOT BE A CRIMPLE....



We ordered some drinks and our meals..... and hobbled outside to sit in the sunshine on one of the benches on the back terrace overlooking the sea..... as we was talking we mentioned the tosser bike rider and then we began to giggle cos I said...... he was riding the same way as us, that means one thing...... OMG... that means he HAS to be coming to this pub LMFAO...... to dam funny, and with that as we looked across the crowds of people sitting eating their supper, there with a face as red as a beetroot and a face like a smacked arse...... came TOSSER BIKE MAN and he was heading straight for us hahahahahaha...

He was pushing his bike through all the tables (how rude) his face was like thunder..... we were so childish, we started to giggle..... he stood at the end of our table..... hello I said....... HELLO he bellowed........ which started me off laffing again....... I COULD OF HAD A HEART ATTACK he said....... I beg your pardon I said........ he repeated himself.... my Ben who just wont take no nonsense off anyone, just said...... go away little man....tiz ok Ben I said, let the little man explain...... continue I said.... my face was making all funny shapes trying no to laff.... you beeped your horn and I could of had a heart attack he repeated...... oh, I said, not being funny or nuffin I says, but if you are that weak of heart maybe you just shouldnt be riding a bike along a road with traffic that might beep you if you are not riding correctly, cos after all, YOU could of caused an accident if you had fallen off cos of a heart attack and I might of run ya little head over, now please, we are trying to enjoy a nice drink, I suggest you just take you bike and go calm down somewhere....

Steam, I swear I saw steam coming out of his ears...he just wouldnt let sleeping dogs lie, he actually banged his fist on our table and said........HOW DARE YOU BEEP YOUR HORN AT ME........ I looked at all 3 of me lads who were now wide eyed in total disbelief at this bloke........ I could see now that my Ben was a little, how shall we say.... peeved LOL...... please dont talk to my mum like that matie, not if you dont wanna end up in that there water with ya bike on top of ya for good measure....... which now started me giggling again......... you have to rememeber this is my FIRST trip out into the human world after months stuck in the house LOL...... the bloke just wouldnt drop it...... DONT LAFF he said..... and looking straight at Ben he said, and I would like to see you try and throw me in the water you little boy.....now, my Ben is far from little, and he is a bit of a scrapper when push comes to shove.... and unlike his mother he has a bit of a short fuse when people are pissing him off for no justifable reason.... my Ben is well bloody hard LOL and aint scared of no man, let along a jumped up tosser on a bike.....

Now the standard joke amongst me and me lads is that when we are confronted by a situation that needs delicate handling but looks like it might get nasty is this......... I always say..... SHOW HIM/THEM YA TATTOOs lmfao....... to dam funny.... ya see once, my tosser X was having a bit of a todo with someone and he said..... 'I aint scared of you, I have tattoos' LMFAO hahahah I have no idea if that was suppose to scare someone, but its something thats stuck with me now forever, so in situations that arise such as now, I always try and break the ice with.....'show him ya tattoos'.... you so probably wont get that but to us it sends us into fits of uncontrolable giggles.... the bloke stopped speaking mid yell.... blank look..... yeah I said, you had better not mess with us Wil...'s we have tattoos, and with that I stick out me leg and pull me jeans up and show me little leaping frog tattoo..... there, now ya scared aint ya I said...... Sam began rolling up his sleeve to get to his tattoo.....

Well, this bloke just went balistic....the table next to us had heard the whole conversation and were in fits of giggles.... the whole pub terrace was in silence listening LOL....... he just wouldnt let it go......... so in the end my Ben just stood up and said (he was actually now getting right annoyed)...... ok matie, I suggest you just go NOW or I will not be held responsible for my actions and I just hope and pray that you can swim.... I just say in a gentle quiet voice, sorry matie but I think you picked on the wrong table, a table full of 'Wil...'s' aint to be messed with, I suppose you should consider yourself lucky that our Tom is not here, cos this conversation wouldnt even be happening now, you would be floating in that there sea.... now, before I really loose me rag with ya, I suggest ya bugger off over there and get yourself a drink and think about anger management classes..... my Ben then takes one step towards him and he actually runs with his bike across the terrace and props his bike up against the pub wall and storms into the pub with his wifey in tow.....



This is our Ben :) now he aint scarey is he LOL

I know I know, we shouldnt of wound him up...... but if you had been there is was just the funniest ever....... we giggled like silly kids and even discussed about our Jacob sneaking across the terrace to the blokes bike and letting his tyres down LOL



Our Sam, I think that hat is glued to his head lol....

I suppose you just had to be there, but I laffed and laffed so much, it did me the power of good....

Anyways, I love this old pub, even with its extensions over the years, ya see, just across the harbour mouth of the Portsmouth side is where I was born, Milton Locks was where me parents lived and as a young married couple my father and mother would sail their boat across the harbour to the Ferryboat Inn and spend time there and then sail back...... when we kids were older our parents would often (they had moved by then and sold the boat) drive down to Hayling and this pub on the beach and spend time on the beach and in the pub...... just a few good memories from my childhood, and maybe thats why I have always taken my lads there...... who knows, maybe just trying to capture a few odd good childhood memories.....

So, anyways....... there is a sea wall that runs along the back terrace of the pub, the channel of water is to dangerous for swimming cos of the very strong tidal current, it would drag ya out to sea before anyone had a change to throw a life line, but there are always jetskiers there and little speed boats and of course the little ferry that goes across to Eastney end of Portsmouth and to which the pub gets its name.....



Wondering if its possible to love another human as much as I love this child..it looks like he is standing on the edge of the beach but there is a 6 foot drop behind him LOL

Now my Jacob, you know the one that is into 'free running' and doing flips off things, well, the seawall was just to much of a temptation for him.... and I have to so bite my tongue and not tell him to stop it when he does these things.......

Whatcha reckon mum, he says, ya reckon I could flip off there onto the beach below..... yes love I say, so there is no need to do it right LOL...... WRONG...



I know the seawall is only about 5-6 foot high, but still, Im his mother for gawds sake..



And then to make his mother (me) fret even more, he does it with his hands in his pockets LOL



Aint my baby just gorgeous lol....... and yes, one of those pints is his.... and I know he is only just 16..... but it was hot and the lager was cold and it was better that he has a pint with his mother then sneaks up the woods with a bottle of cider like so many of his maties do lol..... oh shut it....

Even though my Sam is an extreme skateboarder he stands in awe at our Jacob and his flipping ability to just flip off anything and everything....... Sam decided to lay on the beach below the seawall and try and take a photo of his brother as he flipped over him LOL..



This is the view one would of got if ya was sunbathing on the beach and Jacob flipped over ya head lmfao.....

Oh this photo so made me laff....... as Jacob peered over the wall at me after doing a flip, the angle of the photo just looked so funny, it looked like he was just a head on the beer glass.... you know, like 'the head' on a beer lmfao



aint that just the strangest photo......

As you can see by the time we had finished eating the sun was setting... this is a wonderful place..... and in the winter when the wind is whipping up a storm its a great place to sit inside the pub over looking the sea with the wind and rain battering the windows, whilst its all snug inside..... one day I will get to share it and my memories with someone.... maybe aye....

I took one last photo before the light got to bad for my crap camera..... and this I think is the bestest shot...... even with me crap camera...



This lad shows no fear....... I suspect soon there will be more trips to the hospital......

As we made ready to leave we realised the 'bike man' was nowhere to been seen and his bike which was against the pub wall had disappeared..... I hobbled back across the terrace towards the car, yes, hobbling like a crimple..... and I felt happy to of been out of the house and to spend time with me lads and to laff until my sides ached...... and to realise, that maybe after meeting the 'crazy bike man' just maybe, my family aint as crazy as I often think lol

We headed back down the narrow road, happy and contented....... OMG..... could it be, there in the distance...... please say it aint so....... it only bloody well was, in the gloom, we could just make out a couple of bikes riding side by side down the narrow road.... in the gloomy light it was hard to make them out until we came right up behind them...... omg IT WAS THEM lol the crazy bike man, had he learnt nuffin this afternoon LMFAO..... it was just to tempting to let go....... so I drove up next to him and me lad wound the window down LOL...... hello again I say.... you really should have lights on your bike at this time of night, I could of knocked you off I could hardly see you..... F*CK OFF he said......... how very rude.......... we giggled and laffed all the way home...... :)

ok, I know, long winded and boring and all that stuff for a Saturday afternoon....... but, I aint bovvered..... its just nice to be back on Twaddle, no matter what me problems are, Ive missed twaddling and most of all.... Ive missed you all.....

Im doing ok, really, very frustrated about me re-couping though, but thats maybe for another twaddle day......

know you are loved..

x

64 comments:

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

I'm glad you popped back in! And this post was worth waiting for. What fun times you have with your boys. I love that your sons protected your honor with stupid bike moron. I bet if he'd seen all the back flips off that wall he would have realized he was wildly outside his league.

I can see why that pup is your favorite place. If I ever make it back over to England, I want to go to that pup.

Hang in there Mel. I pray you get the break you SO deserve.

(((hugs)))

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

Well, I misspelled "pub" not once, but TWICE! You know I meant PUB and not PUP right? Good grief!

Lee Harris said...

Thanks for sharing. I've missed you. Keep putting it down for your lads and the rest of us that enjoy seeing life through others' eyes and hearts. You are a treasure.

Anonymous said...

Mel - So glad to hear from you, I was worrying about you. I'm sorry people have been letting you down, but your boys are grand and I'm proud of them myself for sticking up for their mum. Your pictures are wonderful. Thanks for sharing - hugs!
- Daisy in Arizona

Akelamalu said...

What a tosser that chap on the bike was!

I'm so sorry to hear you've been let down by your friends Mel. Every time I check my lottery ticket I think if I win I'll send Mel a big cheque so she doesn't have to worry and can take time to recover. Sorry hon I've not won yet. :(

It's good to hear you're walking without crutches and you're getting out and about now. Just take care won't you? xxxx

Flowerpot said...

Been worried about you Marmie. You don't deserve to be let down by people but I'm so glad you have your boys - great back flips! Take carexxxx

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm sorry to hear about the house issues. There are always people ready to kick someone who is down. Such people disgust me. I'm glad to see the pictures of fun though, and to hear that your health is a bit better.

Luck with all things.

Lisa said...

Oh, Mel! If I ever hear that you or yer boys have been knifed to death, I will just know it's cuz you laughed at them first!! You do pick the weirdest fights with crazy people!!

Glad you are among the living, even if just sort of!

all my love!

Cedar Street Kid said...

You will make it, MT, because you are a good person.

AliceKay said...

LOL...what a story there. I would have thought the crazy biker man would have learned his lesson. LOL It's nice to hear that your sons stood up for you like that. What great pics of your sons, too.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. Although we don't really know each other, I know some of what you're feeling...I've been there. I've had "friends" who have taken advantage of my caring and generous nature and have taken me for a ride. There have been times when I've put others before my own family, and there have been many broken promises.

I hope things turn around for you soon. *hugs*

Word Tosser said...

I noticed it had been 5 weeks since the last one, and thought I might have to go shake your cage to see if you will still kicking...
Glad to see you had such a delightful day with the boys.. they sure are handsome men...

Deanna said...

I've been watching for you dear lady. Jacob is a heart attack in the making. What talent!
It pisses me off that you are going through what you are and facing unthinkables... wish the real world was as small as the blog world. Glad you had the wonderful outing with your boys and those idiot bikers... don't get me started... they are everywhere and unfortunatley they breed....

SylphSong said...

Yay! :) Missed you these last coupla days! ;)

<3

Casdok said...

Well at least you will remember your trip out! Love the flipping photos!

buffalodick said...

Sounded like an interesting day, to say the least! Things will get better..best wishes!

Jen said...

What a great story about the bike man. I needed a good laugh. :) I'm so glad you got out of the house and had a such fun with your boys.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((BasicLiving)))~ I just needed that little break to try and sort things out :) sorry I aint been around much on blobs etc..... just call me a slagbag LOL - yeah we love that pub... memories I suppose :).... Im hanging girl, Ive had to do it most of me life one way or another.... things will work out, Im sure, and if they dont, then I'll sort that out to ......xxxxxxx

~(((((Lee)))))~ missed you to, I should be back around everyones blobs proper over the next few days....and you dear man are to kind....xxxxxxx

~(((((Daisy)))))~ please dont worry about me, I tend to go quiet when I have much on my mind and stuff to sort out, you see, its just me, I have no net, so the buck stops with me, and just sometimes its a little overwhelming to say the least... yeah, story of my life aye, people letting me down, I should of learnt by now that 'most' are just out for themselves, Ive to trusting LOL.... sometimes with my lads I feel like an Italian mama LOL we have our ups and downs but I know they would protect me if needed.... xxxxxx

~(((((Ake)))))~ yes he was, but it sure gave us something to so laff about, it was just the funniest and it doesnt translate to well on here, but believe me, you should of been there, to dam funny....

Tiz ok Ake, I'll survive somehow, its just another test to my strength and creativity and survival methods LOL....

Im frustration in not being 'normal' as yet... and that has been very overwhelming to me... I know I did to much at the millpond but then Im a stubborn old cow LOL...xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Flowerpot)))))~ yep, Ive realised AGAIN its just me and me lads.... even my sister and sister in-law have been right proper knobheads lol - I'll be back to catch up on your wonderful blob this week...xxxxxxx

~((((Charles)))))~ again, I will be over to catch up on you... well, it aint over until the fat lady sings and I aint singing yet LOL

And yep, once again Ive been surprised by some people.... kicked me when I so didnt deserve it, just for their own gain..... but, I cant change the person I am, cos Im a good person.... and that will have to do...xxxxxx

~((((((((Lisa))))))))))~ all the weirdos seem to stick to us like glue LOL.... no matter where we/I go there is always something that happens that is strange LOL....a few months back I was in me maties car in the garage getting petrol when someone started on us LOL... we both said 'ere we go' and things that day just went from bad to worse with knobheads and we just say 'it all started in the garage' LOL....xxxxxxx

~((((((Cedar)))))))~ yes I will, its just hard at times not to have someone to share things with....you know, to put things past, like a good partner.... oh well LOL never had one of those so I suppose I shouldnt crave for one LOL.....xxxxxxxx

~((((Alice)))))~ you would of thought he would of learn LOL my Ben so wanted to just knock him out LOL

Friends aye, or those one thought were friends, thats 2 years running with both major operations Ive found out whats what with nasty selfcentred so called friends... I should become a hermit and live in the woods LOL.... hugs backatcha girl .......xxxxxxxx

~((((((Tosser))))))~ I know its been a while :( and believe me, Ive so wanted to Twaddle, just didnt wanna bring everyone down with me.... my life goes from one dung pile to another lol.... and yes, me lads are handsome lol shame our Tom was poorly though, he missed out on the fun lol....xxxxxxxx

~((((((Deanna))))))))~ yes my lad is an accident waiting to happen lol he flips off everything were ever he is, he shows me videos of him off his phone with him flipping off of things that he really shouldnt show a mother LOL... I think in the blob world, or mostly, people are themselves... whereas many in the living world are finding things and are not true to themselves, me, Im the same in life as I am on here.... I dont know how to be anything else... I aint got a problem with bikers until they ride side by side on narrow roads lol then I could quite easily bump them into the hedge lol ....xxxxxxx

~((((((((Sylph))))))))~ sighhhhhhhh......xxxxxx

~(((((Casdok)))))~ I remember all out rips out, cos something always happens LOL.... xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((Buff))))))))))))~ it was an interesting day to say the least LOL...... you would of laffed your socks off.... I know we edged on being a tad rude to the bloke, but sometimes one just has no choice lol....and yes, things will one day get better, I might be to old to enjoy the better times though LOL....xxxxxx

~((((((Jen)))))~ well he certainly gave us a laff LOL.... now Im not stuck in the house so much life will get better lol I just have to put my thinking cap on to make some money until work picks up.... xxxxxxxx

ChrisB said...

OMgoodness I don't know where to start commenting, so I'm just going to say it's a pleasure to see you back blogging.
Your twaddle is always so entertaining and you being you had to have a fun packed first day out. I just knew you were going to catch up with that couple on the way home LOL.

It's no fun when you are self employed and can't work. I do hope you get a change of fortune soon.

BTW I'm gutted about those silk duvets being in Lidls for that price. Are you sure they weren't single ones ours were kingsize. I feel cheated now LOL.

Jackie said...

OMG! So much to comment about! Wish I had the gift of words, thoughts, expressions, that you have. I've tried and I just find an emptiness inside me. So much has gone on in my life in recent weeks that has literally zapped the enthusiasm and motivation right out of me. I guess this happens to most people at one time or another. Thanks for your continued visits to Love For Home. Love you, Mel...you're an inspiration.

buffalodick said...

I guess I have to tell you- I used to ride long distances on a bicycle for exercise.. Lightweight bike, toeclips, handle mounted solar powered odometer/speedometer/timer computer.. I wasn't afraid of flat tires, or fatigue-I was worried about drivers who ignored the right of way. One day I was run off the road, into a rut between shoulder and road, and thrown into the following traffic. Thank God they were alert enough not to treat me like a speed bump!
I was in the prime of my life, and if I would have caught up with that driver, there would have been no conversation- just an ass-kicking they would have never forgotten! I just thought you might like another way to look at it.. Be well..

Dumdad said...

What a great post, and fab pix too.

The Bike Tosser must have been a bit mental to have tried it on with your lads - death wish or what?!

Yes, what harm is there to have a cool pint of lager on a summer's day even if he's only 16. You're absolutely right about the cider in the wood scenario alternative.

In England this summer, Brainbox, who is 15, asked for a half of cider and I bought him one. This worked when we were in a pub beer garden but I forgot once at the bar and the barmaid sweetly inquired who the cider was for and then quietly declined the order. Fair enough. Live and learn: drink in the beer garden at all times!

Intense Guy said...

*runs over to Melody and gives her a great big super duper sized HUG*

...oh, and an encore one too!!

:)

It's so nice to see twaddle - and to see you out of that cottage for some sun and food and drinks and laughs and memories of old and new ones made.

I don't like bikers much either - I walk on paths with "the right of way" and nearly get my elbows and ankles hacked off each time. What is scary is that I've noticed people walk, bike, and drive the same way - so the lousy biker is a lousy car driver too - and is the sort that fouls the aisles in the grocery store too - leaving the cart in the way.

I bet you (like me) are just jealous of Jacob's leaping ability. Do I ever wish I could do that!!!

:) ...may your beer always have some smiling head on it.

LadyStyx said...

Ah. We need to get you over here near some of us Doodles. We'd make sure you got outta that place a bit more often. Some of us even walk pretty slow so we'd be just your speed.

Gotta love rude people like that. You and the boys handled it very well.

Kiddo....he's a heart attck for sure.

JeanieSpokane said...

I have missed your twaddle very much. I can't tell you how hard I laughed at your giggling at bike man. He just has no sense of humor! Some of my best giggle times have been with my boys - and doing stuff that is not really very nice (like driving around the block three times so we could see the topless naked fat man around the corner - and then throw our heads back and laugh some more) Not one of my finer mothering moments.

I love you and here's a big ((((HUG))) from me! :)

green libertarian said...

(((((Mel)))))

I haven't laughed so hard in MONTHS!

still giggling and wiping my eyes. What great stories.

And you are so exactly insightful about younger folks drinking. In most of Europe, responsible drinking is modeled by parents and other family friends, limited as well.

Here in doodle-land, the septics go off in the woods with all their underage friends and drink as much as possible, no limits, no responsible people around.

What I used to do with bicyleists like those rude ones was screech my tires real loud by slamming on the brakes or grabbing the emergency brake, and they'd get the hell out of the way right quick. Often in a panic. Oh well, tossers, don't hog the road, you're lucky to be alive and not with a car tire track ac-crossed your chest.

Thank you for your wonderfully beautiful funny real stories. I know you will survive these tough times.

Cindy said...

I'm so glad to see you back to Twaddling! And those photos of your son flipping off that breakwall were incredible, especially that last one! Your boys look to be about the ages of our two sons- maybe a bit younger. Our 26 year old has one of those "crotch rocket" motorcycles. How I hate that thing- he has had it up to 160mph on the road-nothing but a roaring blue streak come and gone before you can blink. My heart about stops everytime the Mercy Flight helicopter goes over for fear he's wrecked on that bike.
I'm glad you have such fun and happy times with your boys- nothing is more precious than that. The bills come and eventually they get paid, the pain and inconvenience of life's trials comes and passes eventually, but your family and the times you share last forever.
See how rich you really are when you think about it?
Sometimes looking at it that way is the only way you can get through.
And, I'm rambling...

Tori_z said...

OK, for some reason I missed this post until now. Sorry 'bout that! :(


Anyway...

LMAO! You and your lads sound like you'd be a right laugh on a night out. And I'd have probably given back as good as I got like you did too. Could have had a heart attack indeed... *Shaking head*... As you said, if his heart is that bad, why's he riding?


Hope you're doing OK... Glad you're finally able to go out from time to time. *Hugs*

Lynn said...

Came across your blog and absolutely love it!! The biker story is hilarious, I'm so glad other people were laughing along with you all because that guy deserved it big time. I will definitely be back to read more! Take care!

Pamela said...

If laughter is truly medicine -- everybody reading this today should be healthy -- and you should be back in business soon.

Glad to hear you were up and around enough to take that drive.
The diners around you should have bought your meal to pay for the entertainment!!!

Yes -- handsome sons. And wow -- what a nut to be doing back flips with his hands in his pockets.

Sparkless said...

Just found your blog, the name intrigued me. Laughed so hard I almost ruptured my spleen. Will have to read the archives. Very entertaining writer you are!

Not Waving but Drowning said...

Love the nonchalent "hands in pockets" back flip. How cool is he?

Good to hear you're on the mend and getting out.

GG

Please give ample warning before knee photographs. Lovely knee but not when cut open and covered in bloooooooooood.

PinkAcorn said...

Your blog is the only one I cry and laugh over at the same time. You should turn your blog into a movie ! If I were a mate of yours I'd be there...but I do know how humans can be...

My oldest son is coming out for a short visit...so I'll be posting about that next week.

I don't know ya but I loves ya !

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Crispy)))~ yep, self employed sucks at times like this..... Im trying to figure out what to do for the best....

:) I was winding you up about the duvets in Lidls LMFAO.....xxxxxx

~((((Jackie)))))~ I dont think its a gift of words lol its just Im a mouthy cow lmao...sorry you are being zapped... Im sending you good thoughtys and a kick up the bum to get you motivated :)... love ya to girl...xxxxxxx

~(((((buff))))))~ oh dont get me wrong, I aint got nuffin against people on bikes, I LOVE bike riding, and hope to get back to it soon (DONT tell nick lol) its just the inconsiderate ones that gets on my tits..... Ive been knocked off me bike at least twice over the years, so I KNOW what its like :).......xxxxxxxx

~((((Dumdad))))~ yep, he must of not realise its not good to mess with a table of Will...s LOL... yep, beer gardens are the best for underage drinking LMFAO...xxxxxxx

~((((Intense)))))~ stands still and lets Iggy give me a huge hug..... I so could do with one right now, proper human touch, someone to wrap their big strong arms tight around me and tell me everything will work out in the end...

Bikes on paths are the most worst.... the roads here are quite dangerous and most of our main roads now have cycle lanes, but when me lads have ridden their bikes around here where there are paths, Ive always told them to ride on the pavements unless there are to many people....

and YES Im a tad jealous of my lads flipping ability lol.... I use to be able to do a backward flip on the flour many many years ago though LOL....

know you are loved....xxxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((LadyStyx)))~:) - its amazing how stir crazy one can go stuck in the house...... if I had been more mobile and not feeling so poorly and if I could get on and do things, I would of loved it LOL but I couldnt do anything and it all but made me loose me mind 'again' LOL

I know sometimes we edge on being rude to peole with our replies to shitheads, but, well, what can I say..... I so aint bovvered lol...

yep Jacob is at least a move nearer to the hospital LOL....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((JeanieS))))))))~ ya missed me? oh shut it you didnt.... do you know when I get that stupid giggle inside me, I have no control over it lol.... oh the number of times we have driven around and around the same place to laff at something we have seen... I think its a mum and boys thing :) - I love you to girl, that goes without saying :)...xxxxxx

~(((((((MrG))))))))~ oh thats right, laff at my expense LOL.... :) you would so have a laff if you was out with me/us.... Im so gonna get you over here one of these days....

well, the drinking thing dont mean kids dont get drunk at parties etc, cos believe me with 4 sons Ive had me fair share of drunken homecomings with them.... but by doing what I do, like with our Jacob and the lager, it just dont make it sorta taboo as such.....

Do you know, once when I was picking up one of me lads from an after school activity, this lad who was one of me lads friends and I knew well as I did his mum and dad (I use to work at The Ministry with her) well, he was riding his bike right proper slow in front of me inside the school grounds and he was laffing... I beeped me horn and he went slower.... he was just joking around cos he knew me..... well, I thought I would just tap the back of his bike with me front bumper, I was going about snail pace... little did I realise that cos I drive a high up car that the bumper is higher and it sort of rolled over his back wheel and crushed it, and he was sat upright on the bike with the back wheel crushed under me front bumper....... it was the funniest funniest thing ever, we all laffed until I think a bit of wee came out as did the staff the next morning when they watched in on the ctv camera that was filming us LOL....

I lobbed the lad and his bike in me car and took him home, where his mum and dad laffed so hard..... but..... it cost me $200 for a new back wheel cos he had a posh bike LOL...

MrG, I can only write about my life experiences, it aint a wonderful blob like so many filled with amazing things..... its just about me and my family.... and its true and real and I know you find it funny LOL .... and Ive a surviver, jebus knows Ive survived harder things then this, its just I think Im all 'survived out' now LOL.... or maybe to dam old...

(((MrG))) know you are so loved, but then you know that LOL...xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Cindy)))))~ my brothers had big motorbikes and I dread the day my lads ever thing about bikes, it was hard enough when they was 16 and had mopeds.... the number of times Ive been called out in the night to the hospital after accidents with them...

I am most creative when Im skint LOL I'll think of something... I hope lmfao....

I know I am way much richer then those people here that have shit on me big time.... Im rich in heart and soul (well when I find me soul lol)... they might be rich in pocket, that to me thats worthless unless you have the heart to go with it....xxxxxxxx

~((((ToriZ)))))~ I dont think Ive ever been out with me lads and not ended up laffing until me sides ache, usually at the expensive of others misfortunes though lol

doing ok, just frustrated at the slowness of everything, and scared that it will stay as it is now, and thats no good for me......xxxxxxxx

~((((Lynn)))))~ welcome to the mad house lol where the host is crazy but the commentors are the bestest :) - please scroll back and have a proper read LOL.... nice to met you, I'll pop over and have a butchers at your blob :)....xxxxxxxxx

~(((((((((Pamela))))))))~ the diners were laffing so very much, the more made the bloke got the more they seemed to laff LOL.... and I will admit my lads are drop dead gorgeous, shame our Tom couldnt come....xxxxxxxx

~(((((((Sparkless))))))))~ welcome to you..... ok, where did you find me? oh I can do spleen operations online lmfao...... if I can do online feline surgery then a spleen is old hat lol.... come back and read more, I aint always crazy........ am I people LOL.....xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((NotWaving))))~ loverly to see you back... you have certainly been through the wringer girl....

as for on the mend.... I am but its like two steps forward and one back.....

I had a nasty fall in the week, which I wont go into, just to say it left me in floods of tears of frustration and pain LOL.....

I thought you would love the bloody photos LOL....xxxxxxx

~(((((Pinkacorn))))))~ NO crying allowed lol ya know suppose to cry when ya come here..... you and MrGreen would make a right proper pair of crybabies :).... oh that will be super with your son :)... boys aye... love ya to girl...... aint that strange that people can love those they aint never even met LOL.....maybe you would change ya mind if ya met me... most do LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHa....xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

Can I just say, this twaddle post says Thursday on it..... yet I wrote and posted it on Saturday LMFAO..... unless its cos I wrote the heading on Thursday and saved it, so that it goes by that date...

shrugg..... what do I know lol nuffin, Im as thick as two short planks lol

x

buffalodick said...

I figured as much, but what if he was a crazed, mean, vengeful bastard like me? Your kids would have been hurt! Way more fun to get pedestrians... My ex-bro-in-law got knocked ass over applecart by a thrown pumpkin on All Hallows Eve! Hit him square on in the head, picking bits of it out of his ears and hair in a daze... Too funny for words to describe..

Maggie May said...

I had a good laugh about your outing & the cyclists and the tattoos and the antics that your lads get up to. Your lads are dead gorgeous!

So sorry though that things have been so tough for you. Wish I had lived just round the corner so as I could've helped you out with shopping & such.
It is a great pity that people let you down. Are you sure that contracts for childminding can be broken?
My daughter does this for a living and she is now using special contracts after she has been messed about and apparently they are harder to wriggle out of. I hope things will improve.

Gary said...

wow, that backwards flip has got me agape and aghast! I would have loved to have learned how to do that but when I was younger I was afraid of breaking my neck and these days I am probably too old and heavy to muster up the, whatever it is that you need, to do it.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tori_z said...

*Sending you a great big hug, since you can never have too many of those*

Coral said...

Brilliant Saturday post Mel!!

Reminds me of times me and my kids have together. Ian doesn't really get us, and we shriek with laughter together.

There is also a rule, do not laugh, funny comments, yes, but laugh, no. You ruin the mood with the laugh. So of course we laugh.

Maybe I should tell the story of the conversation at the line to see the A380 at the airport.

Yes, good idea!

Thank you for the idea!

Coral said...

Oh, is the Jolly Roger still open? I remember going there as a tot.

terence bull said...

Hey Marmite,

Keep struggling, and fun tale.

Gia's Spot said...

What a great writer you are and not to mention a great Mom! Great looking boys you have too! I loved reading your writing except now I have Mary Poppins in my head as I read!! Thanks for the laughs!

buffalodick said...

From the look of that one comment, I think your order of flyed lice is waiting pick-up...

Lena said...

YAY! YAY! YAY! You're back! It's great to see the lads helping your recovery along. Handsome young men, too!

goatman said...

So to ya I ask:
What is big and purple and lives in the ocean??
No, not that, it's: . . .



MOBY GRAPE

Don't pop any stitches now. It wasn't that funny!

Frum Helen Back said...

You even make me laugh when you are so down and out. Things must get better for you soon. I do hope you haven't eaten the chickens. Hopefully you are following all the Doctor's and physio's orders so you can soon be back playing football. That was a bad joke. Follow the orders so you can walk!

Bina said...

Oh, I have missed you!!! And I just love this story!!! I swear it could be made in to a short story! LOL And that freaking idiot should know better than to ride on the road like that! But I thought for sure you was going to say he flatened your tires!

I love your Jacob. And you take such great pictures! One of the looks like he is landing on his head on the beach. Scared me for a minute. And I just LOVE that picture of his head in the beer glass! Freaking love it!

I'm sorry things haven't been going so great for you. I wish I could help. I really do. And I hope you find someone to spend your cold winter days with all snug in the pub. You so deserve it.

Lulda Casadaga said...

I'm glad to hear that you are alive and hobbling around...You are lucky and rich to have those wonderful boys of yours! And gifted to give us so much joy when we read your adventures...I just laughed and felt I was right there with you guys cussing up a storm at those idiots. I so wanted to see his bike being tossed over that wall and floating away on that tide! LOL

Hang in there Mel...You are in my thoughts. And thanks for making my day!!

Lynn said...

Hi there visited Iggys and Ladystyx site so wanted to pop over and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yaya said...

Stopping by to say Happy Birthday!

AliceKay said...

Stopping by to wish you a happy birthday as well. *hugs*

Lisa said...

What?!? It's your birthday today???

Happy anniversary of your 21 birthday, girl! Now that you are all grown up, remember to drink responsibly!

Love ya!

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

Well, have a wonderful day, Birthday Girl! Celebrate and enjoy it!!!!

Intense Guy said...

Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!
May the skies be blue,
May the sunshine follow you
The whole year through.

Oh my, someone had a big mouth and told everyone...

:) xo

Queenie Jeannie said...

What a great storyteller you are!!! I'm so glad you always look for the lighter/brighter side of things. We all could learn from you!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Styxie has a very special video for you on her blog!!

Martha in PA said...

Stopping in from Iggy's page, Happy Birthday!

inlandempiregirl said...

I always love seeing pictures of your sons.... and I think it is good to get all your thoughts out on your blog... warts and all. We are all good listeners and readers. Have a beautiful day.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Buff)))~ nah my lads are well hard, like their muvver LOL.... to funny about the pumpkin....xxxxxxx

~((((Maggie)))))~ yes they are LOL...well unless I take them to the small claims court they aint worth the paper they are written on really.... I told him he had to the end of this month and then I will get it sorted one way or another LOL.... I have big lads remember.... its not just the money its the total lack of morals that done me head in... but, of course after having no money for months I was relying on those wages, so it has put me in dire street LOL....xxxxxx

~(((((Gary))))))~ that boy will be the death of me :) - it does take a bit of nerve to fling ya self off buildings though like he does lol or lack of brains......xxxxxxxx

~((((ToriZ))))~ hugs are always welcome, fanks....xxxxxxx

~(((Coral)))))~ most dont 'get us' when we are on a roll, and just stared with wonder lol...dont think its still there, the jolly that is.....xxxxxxxx

~((((TBull)))~ well I intend to stop struggling and start living soon fanks very much lol....xxxxxx

~(((GSpot)))~ LMFAO'Mary Poppins, oh hush.... as regards great writing, I dont think so lol... its just rubbish from my heart :), but fanks anyways...xxxxx

~((((Buff)))~ ya gotta love that chinky takeaway lol....xxxxxx

~((((((Goatman)))))~ hey handsome.... LOL@MobyGrape.... you daft sod...xxxxxx

~(((FHB)))))~ things are turning now Helen, fanks.....slowly but turning so thats good right? lol.. Im more steady in an unsteady way on me feet LOL...and there will NEVER be football or me beloved Tchoukball ever again.... Im been warned by my physios and consultant that those days are well gone :(....xxxxxx

~((((Bina)))))~ hopefully I will be around a little more starting from today...... its been and still continues to be a difficult time for me.... but need to kick meself in the arse before I slide down the plughole LOL.... aint that beerhead photo just so funny....nah, Im destined to be alone on those cold winter nights lol....but I have me log fire and me cat, so all is well lmfao.....xxxxxx

~((((Lulda))))~ Alive but not kicking lmfao...... yep, Im rich beyond measure hiccups with me lads and all, its so not been easy to raise 4 lads completely in every way on my own, financially, emotionally and physically.... no wonder Im always knackered lol....xxxxxxxx

~(((Lyn)))~ Welcome to the mad house...fanks...xxxxx

~(((YaYa)))~ fanks matie...I often sneak in and read your blob...xxxxx

~((((AliceKay))))~ fanks for the hugs they are always welcome...xxxxxx

~(((((Lisa)))))~ yeah its a bummer right lol another year older and uglier lol...... fanks for all the wonderful magazines.... oh my I just loved them.... love ya to girl.....xxxxxxxx

~((((Basicliving))))))~ fanks I did, shame the day was soon over and back to reality lol......xxxxxxx

~((((Intense)))))~ fanks, but dont give up your day job LMFAO.....xxxxxx

~(((Queenie))))~ I can only tell stories of my life lol...xxxxx


~(((Martha))))~ welcome, any matie of Iggys is a friend of mine...xxxxx

~(((((InlandEmpireGirl))))~ well if I put all my thoughts and feelings out on this blob then the men in white coats would come and take me away and lock me up for a long time LOL.....xxxxxxx

Robin said...

Just stopped by to say hi. Damn you've got some good looking boys.....

(Hope all is well.)