Saturday, 3 August 2013

Ok - I was coming back to blogging with all the amazing and wonderful news and the hard news that had happened to myself and my little family.... when 6 weeks ago yesterday something horrendous happened to my Sam, my darling beautiful funny as fuck Sam...... Sam works real hard as a groundworker, long hard hours, a job he loves.... on Friday evening 6 weeks ago straight from work he met a couple of mates up the local pub for a quick pint after a long long week at work...... the so called friend in a spiteful act jabbed my Sam in the face with a pool cue........ it went through his eye and into his brain.... he was rushed to hospital where we were told he would die within the hour...... he didnt..... he was then lifted to the neurological speicialist hospital 30 miles away, one of the best in the country.... where he was placed on life support and given a 1% chance of survival and if he did survive they did not know in what state that would be..... for 2 weeks my darling boy hung on to life. with me and his brothers sitting with him constantly..... it is now 6 weeks on from that fateful evening that has chanced my Sams life forever, the pool cue went through his eye and right into his brain touching the skull on the other side, he had a brain op to remove the end of the cue that has broken off in his brain.... he has since been transferred to our more local hospital in the hope that the F1 rehab unit can try and get as much of my darling Sam back as possible.... he was an extreme skateboarder and a talented drummer, a funny popular young man that I adore...... we will never get our Sam back fully..... his brain is damaged....... my Sams life is no longer as it was and my life is now given completely to my son..... everyone knows the love I have for my boys....... this has totally ripped my heart and soul from my body...... I spend every single long day at my sons bedside its been 43 days now...... Im totally mentally and emotionally exhausted........ So dear friends of the blog world....... please forgive me for not blobbing as I promised...... I am no longer the person I once was 6 weeks ago, and neither is my precious Sam..... I will write more in a week or so........ please note my yahoo email I dont think is working so if anyone wishes to get hold of me please email me on - melodywillers@hotmail.com - dont think I have forgotten you all and the love and laughs we all once shared... cos I havent, you are all tucked safely in the pockets of my heart..... A dear dear friend has set up a support page where I do daily updates about my Sam and the raw writtings from my soul........ it is a closed group but if those that I know and love wish to be added then please just email me on the above addy..... This is a local newspaper clipping from that week..... its not all accurate, but sorta of.... you know, freedom of press and all that shit....... http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/man-lucky-to-be-alive-after-brain-stabbed-with-pool-cue-1-5297825 know you are loved by me your old friend......... xx

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine your pain and anguish. You've raised strong, determined young men. You and your boys will be in my thoughts; I am so sorry this has happened - thank you for sharing with your online friends.
-Daisy in Arizona ((hugs))

Sparkless said...

Oh dear! My heart breaks for Sam and your family. I hope that he can recover. Sam and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Deanna said...

Oh Mel, I am crying for you and dear Sam as I read this. I cannot begin to comprehend what you are going through. Just imagining is painful enough. I know this post had to be heart wrenching to write and share. As a praying person, I am sending up healing prayers for Sam and you both. I hope you don't mind if I send you an email asking to be added to have permission to view updates. Huge hugs to a wonderful lady.

Mari Meehan said...

I just read your e-mail and came over here for an update. You are one of the strongest women I know, Sam's in good hands. Know that your American friends love you and are here for you and yours and miss you terribly.

Intense Guy said...

I read this - and re-read this - and am still at lost for words and for something to say. I am terribly saddened to hear how Sam was so grievously hurt and your struggles with the viciousness life throws at us.

I am with you in thought - and more if there is anything at all that can be done from far away, anything at all...

I will want to keep up to date - for both you and Sam have a corner in my heart. Hugs you tight -

MarmiteToasty said...

(((friends))))) thank you......... life aye....... its what we sign up for....... xx

MarmiteToasty said...

Sam so far has proved the experts wrong..... so wrong, he is almost a modern day miracle..... will update soon .... know you are loved.... x

Intense Guy said...

There is something to Sam's spirit that is indomitable. I deeply wish and hope he continues to improve and prove the "experts" totally wrong.

Hugs - know that you too - and loved.

AliceKay said...

My heart goes out to you, and Sam and your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Miracles do happen. *hugs*

LadyStyx said...

*is rendered speechless*

My poor dearest friend.... you and your family are in my prayers. *HUGZ* to you and your boys.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I'm so terribly sorry this has happened!!! Your family is being lifted up in prayer. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you!!

The Mistress of the Moonlight said...

It is so hard to type with tears in my eyes...you are in my prayers. I am a neurodiagnostic tech so I truly understand what you are facing. God bless.

goatman said...

My thoughts are with you and Sam.

I read a story once about a fellow was tamping an explosive charge into a hole with a steel rod to blast ore out of rock in a mine. The blast charge went off accidently and it went through his head completely. He recovered totally (after they removed the rod) and hopefully found other work after this happened.

But I doubt if you will keep Sam out of the pubs after . . . .

el chupacabra said...

God, Mel. I am so sorry and in shock reading this. I only clicked over hoping for an update- I haven't heard anything from you in a long time.

My heart is literally hurting- let me know what- if anything I can do.

Kev

MarmiteToasty said...

sorry there has been no update, as you can imagine its been a very difficult time....

The evening this happened and we arrived at the hospital having no clue as to the seriousness, we thought he had just got poked in the eye.. didnt even think it could of gone into his brain...... we got there and was ushered into a side room with soft comfy sofas..... always a bad sign...... we were told that Sam would more then likely die within the hour, so if we wanted to go into A&E to see him before he was transferred 30 miles away to the neurological Wessex Unit at Southampton General Hospital, but they warned us he would probably die on route.....you can imagine what my soul was doing...... my funny as fuck sam, my precious funny manboy whom I love beyond meaure, whom I almost lost when he was 5 and got run over by a car..... I screamed all the 30 miles to the neuro place PLEASE DONT LET HIM DIE PLEASE DONT LET HIM DIE....

he spent over 2 weeks on life support..... the most horrendous days of our lives..... being told every day that not to expect anything and that he could die 'just like that' he got pneumonia whilst on life support and a temperature so high that it would of killed anyone that was not being kept alive..... his brothers and i stayed by his side constantly, except the few hours overnight when they wouldnt let us stay, we camped out in the waiting room for a few days until they told us to go home .... I made them promise that if things went down hill they must ring me cos it takes 50 minutes with no traffic to get from home to the hospital and I DO NOT WANT MY BOY DYING ON HIS OWN WITHOUT US HOLDING HIM.... they promised they would do all they could to honour my wishes.....

I dont know if I can write all I need to write without flooding this room out with my tears....... but if anyone has a facebook page, my dear woodelf friend Angela set up a support page where I have written updates from day one...... you might have to scroll back and back to read from the beginning..... so if anyone would like to read our journey then please email me at .... melodywillers@hotmail.com and I will add you to the page, but you have to have a facebook account.....

I spent 94 days by my sons side.... Im financially fucked but that dont matter, I might even loose my house, but that dont matter..... he spent almost 3 weeks on life support in ICU then a week on the high dependance neuro ward, and then he got transferred to our more local hospital to their neuro ward...... sam has defined the odds..... he spent 12 weeks at our local hospital and is now 69 miles away in a neuro rehabilitation place in Surrey.... so it means he not longer get to be with him daily..... there is so much to tell..... but tonight Im just to tired and sad still..... my sadness has not gone away, it has not got easier, my lives and my sams life will never be the same again....

I have truelly learnt what the word HATE is.... cos I HATE the man that did this to my boy...

I

MarmiteToasty said...

I bought my boy home last weekend for the first time..... because this monday he was to go back to southampton neuro wesses unit (which saved his life and is the BEST IN THE COUNTRY) to have more surgery...... you see, where the pool cue went in his eye and right through his brain it shattered his eye socket and even though they manipulated it back in place as much as possible all those weeks ago, it didnt heal properly........ so my boy had to undergo horrendous surgery on Tuesday after his preops on monday...... the surgeon was gonna saw the top of sams skull off and peel his skin off his face down to his nose and operate that way by moving his brain out the way and going in through the eye...... they did not tell us this the day before......... but they have tried it first up through his nose, taking membrane and tissue from the muscles in his leg and what was suppose to be a 3 hour operation turned out to be a life threatening operation lasting 7 hours......... as a family we have had amazing support from friends, I knew I was a good person, but I had no idea so many people would help us..... but I wish I had someone to hold me tight when I came back after 12 hours a day at the hospital.... someone to talk to, someone to understand..... that to has been so difficult, still having to be there fore my other sons.... I only went back to work the week before last.... I had 3 months with no work, I couldnt survive any longer with no money... except for this past few days with sams surgery I havent worked...... please please if you have a facebook account, please email me so I can add you to the support page where you can read from the beginning......

know you are loved my dear blob friends..... I have never forgotten you..... just life caught up with me big time before this all happened..... and then boom....... my life was over in an instant.... and now what little life I have has to be given to my boy....... my boy that I love with all I have........... he is a miracle..... against all the odds, but he will never fully be 'our Sam' and for that I cry daily and long and hard and cry myself to sleep alone every night.....

thank you for caring........ email me on melodywillers@hotmail.com xxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

the hole was making his CFS brain juice constantly pour out of his nose for 15 weeks.... so if the fluid can get out then infection can get in... the surgery we were told could also potentially kill sam he could have a stroke or a brain bleed or all manner of things...... but he hasnt........ when he was transferred on 4 week to our local hospital, he couldnt even sit up, he was paralised all down his right side, but I promised him I PROMISED HIM that he would walk again, even if I had to carry him around on my back with his legs on the floor until he had the strength......

I never left my boys side..... when eventually he was awake and though not really with it, or able to speak properly or think or do so many things I never gave up..... I made his brain think and work, i played games with him, mind games and scrabble and monopoly..... and willed him to survive....... please please to much to write,..... come read this most horrendous journey.... we still have a long long way to travel, and I dont know if I will make it..... but Sam has 3 brothers that will be there for him.... always....... xx

MarmiteToasty said...

Thank you Iggy for you beautiful flowers and the doodle money that went into the petrol fund...... I never got round to thanking you, you must think Im a pretty shit friend for not even thanking you...... but I do thank you with my whole heart.....

Thank you Kev for your kind words....... I dont know if I will ever be the same person again, I lost my soul when this happened to my sam.... I lost me, and i cant find me, Ive looked and looked but Im gone....

thank you goatman and moonlight and jeanne and alice and lady and mari and deanna and sparks....... thank you all so much

I just feel so alone with all this, even though I have many people on the support page and my close woodelf besties friends..... but they are not here now when I need a hug or a smile or a bit of hope..... I have to do it alone... and its hard xxx

Intense Guy said...

Hugs. You are welcome and you are NOT a "shit friend" - you just have a lot on your plate and a bunch of sad and frightening things to deal with. I wish I was there to hug you in person - and to offer some useful support - the distance makes it nearly impossible.

I've been following the FB updates (Support Page) via another one of your friends (as I am not in FB.)

I cross my fingers and toes, hoping Sam's spirits revive and the miracle of his recovery continues...

You are often on my mind. I wish I could send tons more doodle money.

John Wooldridge said...

Have just read this after your kind words on my blog. I really cannot think of anything to say except that if there is anything that I may do please let me know......my heart wishes go to you and yours me dear.

MarmiteToasty said...

Im struggling here.... x

Intense Guy said...

Hugs.

What can we do to help Mel?

:( I am so sad you are struggling.

Jayne Egan said...

Oh my god, I just popped by from the link on my blog. My dear friend, you have been through so much. I do hope things have improved for your boy since your last comment. Will light my candle evrynight and include you in my healing circle.Will look for the page on FB xxx

Sparkless said...

I was just thinking about you and Sam so popped in to say I hope he is doing okay and you too.

Kay Brady said...

I know what's its like to live with a brain damaged family member things will never be the same again, but they where raised by a strong mother slowly but surely he will get threw it. Congratulations on being mortgage free its my dream on day to own my own house.

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green libertarian said...

{{{Mel}}}

el chupacabra said...

Hey Mel.