Pigs Are Really Cute....... oh and some Pigs Will Always Be Just That... PIGS .....

Ok...... Me matie Peanut who is a blobber and an internet matie is actually English, even though she now lives in America, when she lived in England she lived not 55 minutes away from me in a wellabit posh area lol.... aint it a small world, yet we didnt get to know each other until we bumped into each other on Bobs Blob (in me sidebar)...... anyways..... Peanut is MENTAL about pigs..... pigs of all shapes and sizes..... and I told her once that we have an Organic Pig Farm on the edge of our village, and I often take me minded nippers there to have a look.....

Sometimes we just sit in the car in the layby and wind the windows down and other times we get out and get closer, often there is a huge pig in a pen right near the road.....

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago, me and me matie thought it would kill a hour if we went out to see the pigs, cos we knew there was baby ones there and they are real cute....

What you must understand is that I am hightly, VERY, HUGELY alergic to pork or any pork based produce such as bacon ham etc and geletine..... as an adult its ok, I just watch what Im eating and touching..... its like a nut allergy and it could in certain circumstance kill me. Ive had quite a few scares over the years...and a couple of times gone into that shock that weirdos have if they eat their allergy thing, one was even in hospital when they gave me tablets that were geletine coated, and within minutes I had gone into shook, good job I was already in hospital lol... and I daren't touch bacon or a gammon and then rub me eyes or nowt or it swells like a football...... but I can actually touch a real pig, ya know pat it like a pet as long as I wash me hands after...

Sharkie was brill when we visited him in Maine during the summer, being in a mainly vegitarian household it was no problem, but we did go to a friend of his for a BBQ and the friend knew of me allergy and was real sweet and made sure there was no pork sausages etc...... he bought chicken sausages which looked sooooo scrummie cos I aint never had them before..... EXCEPT.... thank goodness for Sharkies quick thinking, he went and read the back of the packet from the sausages incase it had any pork fat included in the meat.... he was so caring...... but, the boy did good, cos the chicken sausages were incased only in bloody pork skins.... CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT...... bloody hell...... so Sharkie sort saved me bacon that day lol.....

Anyways I digress......so we parked up at the pig farm on the country lane where it is and sure enough there was loads of huge mummy pigs and lots of babies.....



As you can see the baby piggies were quite a way from the road, I think its so no one climbs over the fence and steals them......

Me matie said they was to far away to see and she dared me to climb over and go pick one up and bring it back so we could see it proper....... was she bloody mad..... but they did look so cute running around, and I mean, how hard would it be to just wander across the field and pick one of the many piglets up....

So, I climbed over the gate at the far end of the field whilst me matie and the nippers was near the farmhouse and still in the layby.... I sort of sneaked along the back hedge until I came to the first sty where there was about 15 piglets all dancing and bouncing around, I stood real still cos me matie was shouting.... DONT RUN OR THE MUMMY PIG WILL CHASE YOU AND BITE YOU..... ok she so shouldnt of said that... so now Im standing in with the pigs and god they are HUGE when they have just had piglets lol.... and the little piggies was running around me feet...... I stood so very still cos a mummy pig was staring me out..... I slowly walked further along the hedge towards where me matie was with the kids and the little piggies were sort of following me while the huge mummy pig still stared.......

Well, all was good UNTIL I bent down and grabbed one of the piggies to pick it up....... JEBUS MARY MUVVER OF WHOEVER....... it squeeled so very loud I almost dropped it..... it wiggled and squeeled and piddled all over me....... I could hear me matie laffing and laffing and shouting RUN RUN RUN..... so with that I looked at the mummy pig and she was no longer staring at me but was moving at a quick pace towards me..... thats me, holding her squeeling wiggling pissing piglet.... all I can hear is screams of RUN RUN RUN ...... so I run, well I cant actually run cos of me gimpy knee but I can bloody hobble well fast.....

So Im hobbling towards me matie as she is screaming THE MUMMY PIG IS COMING RUN RUN *lafter*...... bloody hell, Ive heard tale that mummy pigs can eat a dead human within minutes, I heard it on the telly when this pig farmer up north killed women of his village and to dispose of the evidence he threw their bodies to the pigs.... shit I dropped, nah threw the piglet down into the mud and well legged it back to me matie who was in fits of laughter.... I grabbed hold of the little wire fence that was inside the proper fence.... only to be knocked backwards onto me arse into the mud LMFAO..... the bloody mummy pig was still coming towards me and I was sitting in the bloody mud trying to get up with me gimpy knee, which aint bloody easy..... I had only grabbed the electric fence to climb over LMFAO....... DO NOT DO THAT WITH PIGGIE PISS on ya hands lol......

Me matie put her coat over the little wire electric fence while laffing so hard I thought she was gonna wet herself, and I scrambled over the electric fence and then over the proper fence onto the road........ she was laffing so much I thought I was gonna have to bitch slap her to get her out of her hysterics.... I said IT AINT BLOODY FUNNY, that pig could of eaten me alive........ yep she said, I saw that on the telly LMFAO......

My heart was pounding I was covered in mud, my knee was so very painful and I tingled all over from the shock of the electric fence and I STUNK of piggie pee LOL..... ya know when ya laff so much a little bit of wee comes out, well that was me lol I think it might of been fright though LOL

I also ripped the arse out of me jeans climbing over the barb wire fence LOL...

We stood there laffing for quite a while and the mummy pig had come right up to the fence and was giving me the evil eye.... yeah I said to her, your gonna be eaten as bacon and pork chops, so who gets the last laff...... well, she so did scare me lol... I think she was smiling at me cos she had that smurk on her face LOL



Here she is...... the evil pig lol



We did give her an apple though..... as a thank you for not eating me alive..



She also bought her maties over for back up, so we gave them apples to.....

Oye!! Oye!! we heard from the farm gate.....What the f*ck do you think your doing....... oh shit, me matie said, its the piggie farmer lol.... I think we need to go lol........ we laffed all the way home...... but jebus, piggie pee stinks to high heaven. So if you come across an organic pig farm do NOT climb over the gate and try and pick up a baby piggie, cos them mummy pigs aint to be messed with......

So PEANUT these photos are in honour of you and our friendship.... the things I do to get ya photos lol


Also today, talking about pigs lol.... if I had still been married to the tosser of an X, it would of been our 27th Wedding Annivesary today...... I remember this day back in 1981, with so much hope and love and excitement so many promises...... who would of thought aye, that it was mostly all bullshit lol - I should of know life was not going to deal me the good cards in life lol..... I infact, was actually only married 22 years technically to him, but only 20 years if ya count from when he left me and his lads without a backward glance..... it would of been easier if I had pushed him in with the pigs at the farm to eat and devour him cos, still now, he wont lay down and die.... still he is like a sceptic wart on me bum that irritates and rubs.... only this time, Im gonna pop and squeeze him once and for all....I only wish he had left years earlier.....so many wasted years... :) - cripes I dont usually spill this private stuff, so then, enuff said..... :)

So..... whilst out today getting me HUGE grocery shop I bought meself a bunch of beautiful tulips...... for me...as a pressie.... not as a reminder of what to day represents...... but as a reminder of all the lovely beautiful friends I have and to remind me what a loving caring beautiful person I truely am......



So to each of you, commenters and blurkers alike, I give you a bunch of tulips in friendship..... what? ok I know they are only cyber flowers, but I aint made of bloody money ya know, these cost me $8 lol...

ok...... way to much information in todays Twaddle lol

x