They Overstepped The Line...... This Is Now All Out War....

Ok....... Anyone that knows me knows that I cant even begin me day without a steaming mug of tea.... I cant begin to even function, let alone speak..... the first thing I do after Ive dragged meself out of bed is to bung the kettle on..... this would take first place over the house burning down...... one day it would be nice to have someone that would actually make me a cuppa tea and bring it upstairs so I could drink it in bed still all snuggled up...... well, we can dream right? lol

I dont drink anything but, as I would call it 'builders tea' thats just bog standard tea, no fruit teas, or Earl Greys or green teas or finely blended posh stuff...... just bog standard builders tea......

When I visited Maine during the summer I even took me own box of T-bags, ya know, just incase LOL......

I usually just buy PG Tips..... its been around since I was a kid, only then, it was proper loose tea and not no new fangled T-bags......

If Im home, which seems to be a lot lately, I must make about 12 cups of tea, not that I drink them all lol I usually make a cup and then find it a 30 minutes later on the side.... cold .... lol - tea is my comfort drink, tea washes away all ailments, all problems, all pains, all heartaches.... well its suppose to lol... but thats all bollocks cos it dont...

Anyways...... When I was a kid, the adverts on the telly for PG Tips Tea had monkeys in them, chimps dressed like people, like a chimps teaparty... these adverts went right into the 1990s - as a nipper I thought these adverts were magical and when real young I thought the chimps actually really talked LMFAO..... oh the innocient child I was....you have to remember we didnt have computers and all this new fangled stuff and playstations etc....



Goodness such memories lol.....

I remember that the chimps roadshow was coming to the church hall in Riders Lane around the corner from where I lived as a child....it was FREE to get in, all ya had to do was save the tea packets, I cant remember how many, but I remember me older sister getting the tea packets out of the bin and hiding them from me mum, until she had enough for me and me brother to go to the church hall and see the chimps for real :)..... me sister was 11 years older then me and me brother was 2 years older, I must of been about 7 at the time.....



I sooooo wanted to see, what I thought, were talking chimps...

The time got nearer and nearer to the date when the chimps would arrive, I remember the excitement (how pathetic lol)..... I remember me sister telling me NOT to say anything to me mum, cos she knew that I would NOT be allowed to go...... I never did lies as a kid, but this wasnt a lie right? it was a secret, not a lie, and oh there were so many secrets whilst growing up.....

The day came, me sister gave me brother Paul and me the tea packets and told us to scarper along to the church hall..... see, me mum wouldnt of wondered where we was going on a Saturday morning, cos we would usually bugger off out for the day from early till late on a Saturday, yep hard to think that at 7 and 9 we was out all day and no one would know or even care where we were LOL....



Jebus I was sooooo excited lol...

Well we did go and we queued with what seemed like hundreds of kids...... ok, well life was different back then and this was a BIG thing lol...... queued what seemed like hours, I knew it was a long time cos we had to wait til the second show.... when we eventually got to the front of the queue clutching our empty teabags in our hands the woman on the door went to take them from us and said we needed 5 bags each...... OH NO..... we only had 4 each...... how could this be..... I remember as if yesterday standing in front of the lady saying we only had 4 each and her saying, well love ya need 5 each or you cant come in..... OH NO.... CANT GO IN TO SEE THE CHIMPS.... weeks and weeks of secret keeping to be told that we needed 5 bags each......

Ya know what me brother did....... he took one of the bags off me to make up his 5 and left me standing there with only 3 in me hands looking at the woman.... and he WENT IN, the little sod took me bag and sussed and sorted himself out and went in without me...... and the lady wouldnt let me in no matter how hard I pleaded lol..... bloody jobsworth that she was......

So, I never got to see the chimps, the magical talking chimps that I thought they were...... I remember climbing over the drainage pipes across the steam and sitting there for the rest of the day on me own while all me friends AND me brother were laughing at the chimps...... I never got to see them, but I learnt a valueable lesson that day...... 'those that wanteth something so bad, has to nick the bags out of someones hands to get their own way - it was, sod everyone else, just get what ya want yaself' - well I learnt it, but I never could do it, Ive always put others first, and if me brother had asked I would of given him the bags without a bat of an eyelid......

Anyways...... where is this post leading....

They dont do the chimp adverts on the telly no more with live chimps, but instead of live chimps they have this soft toy sort of knitted chimp that sits and sips tea and interacts with some famous comedian.....and its just called MONKEY... over the years PG Tips have had other sorts of advertising but this knitted monkey has got to be about the funniest....... and every so often they give little ones away FREE if ya buy a big box of teabags....... and the saddo that I am....... I have bought some of the boxes to get the FREE funny monkey........ I have two...... one about 7 inches big and it usually sits on the side in the kitchen AND the one from last month which is about 5 inches and has sucker cups and its stuck on the window in me car..... I LOVES these 2 monkeys..... oh shut up.... I know Im mental but still.......

But, over the weekend I noticed that both of me monkeys were nowhere to be seen...... I wondered if the minded nippers had got hold of them and lost them, so I asked me lads...... loads of smiles and shaking of the heads and words of NOPE aint seen ya silly monkeys.......

So, it was a mystery.... UNTIL this morning when I got up........ someone is gonna pay BIG TIME......



Look what SOMEONE had done to big monkey..... they had hung him by his feet from the pot rack.... he must of been hanging there ALL NIGHT on his own, poor thing..... oh they think they are sooooo funny..... we will see who has the last laff....



Just look what they had done with little monkey with the suckers, they had taken him out of me car and only imprisoned him in the cupboard with the nippers cups....

Oh I can do real good 'paybacks'....... all I can say is, my lads had ALL better beware, cos no one has fessed up, so it looks like I will have to get even with them all :)....

Ya can take me money, you can borrow me heart BUT - DONT MESS WITH ME MONKEYS....

IF YA CANT GET MAD - GET EVEN....... This is now War... :)

To much Twaddle for a nippy Monday....

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