Whatcha Doing Tomorrow, Aye? Wanna Swap Places....

Sorry I aint been around ya blobs of late, maybe this will explain a little... I have had so much to suss and sort out this past week, and I still have a housefull of minded nippers today, whilst trying to make sure the house and everything is ready...... ready for what I here ya ask....


Ok......... So, when I was younger I use to play womans football.... or soccer as doodles would call it, which is just such a daft name for FOOTBALL.... anyways, I played at a high level for near on 10 years....

Everyone thinks that womans football is a new thing, oh how wrong they are.... its been around for over a 100 years....

Ive always liked football, ever since I can remember, and I use to go watch Pompey play every week I could.... and shout from the stands and drink hot steaming mugs of bovril in the bitter cold winter months....

From the age of 14 up until I was expecting me first son, I played every weekend and we use to train twice a week, our coach was also the coach of the Pompey youth squad so we was spoilt and use to have the use of the facilities at Fratton Park, the home of Portsmouth Football Club....

It was my passion, it was my life, it was all I had in life that kept me going in my younger years when I still lived at home..... in all those years of football, my parents had never once watched me play, not even when we got to cup finals or even came to the Player of The Year Presentation Evenings, which I won 4 years on the trot.... oh well, it was what it was.... at least Peter Marinello who was my footballing hero came to present me with me award :)..

I can honestly say, those were the best years of me life..... if I could turn back time and pick, then I would without hesitation go back to those times..... I LOVED being part of a close knit group... good friends, wonderful friends, fun times, oh and some drunken nights I can tell ya lol

Our team played all over Europe in different competitions..... we use to get invited to wonderful European Womans Football Tournaments..... it was my world, it was where I fitted in, it was where I was comfortable...... god I so miss those days of belonging....

I was called up for England Trials, but at the time there was no way I could financially afford the trainfare all the way to Liverpool..... and my parents made it so that I didnt get there....... never mind aye lol...... that would of been the icing on the cake to of Played for England...

Anyways, where's this going......before I go off into dreamland and down memory lane, cos I now have so many pictures in me head of times with me football maties......

I will say, and I dont know for what reason Im even saying it.... that.... out of our squad of 18 players there was only 3 of us that were 'straight' the rest of me maties was all very butch looking and manly.... I suppose the sport back then was more a 'mans game'... I can honestly say those maties will live in my heart a lifetime... and when these maties all came to me wedding in 'man suits' LMFAO it was just the funniest ever, me parents of course having never been to one of me matches when younger didnt know me friends and me Aunties and Uncles was talking to me maties like they was blokes, THEY HAD NO clue they was me girlfriends LMFAO....... laffing now just remembering..... to funny....

I should of gone through me photos and found some of me football photos.... oh well....

So back to the NOWish......... non of the people I have in me life now knew that I use to play football at such a high standard.... these are new maties, like 15-20 year maties..... they didnt know me when I was younger and sporty.... all our lads use to play football for our village teams in different age groups, so we all use to tag along and watch, my lads also played cricket in the summer and rugby and field hockey and Tchoukball... so it was hard as a single mum to ferry everyone around and be there for every match, but I did what was humanly possible....

Every year our village Youth Football clubs have a 'fun day' to raise well needed cash to keep the club running, and this usually consists of mini football tournaments and side stalls and bouncy castles and things, its a great fun day.... so me and me maties would all go and watch and help...... well a few years back, probably about 5 years ago.... one matie had a crazy idea that it would be funny if the 6 of us entered in one of the mini tournaments against the blokes team that wanted to play, ya know, just for a bit of a laff.....

Well, no one and I mean NO ONE knew that I was still a nifty football player, its like riding a bike, ya NEVER forget... so I didnt say anything except that I was game for it..... so it was arranged.... the blokes all had matching shirts and football boots and we was just in jeans and trainers, the blokes was all laffing and making fun and saying male comments about woman and football..... oh my, what a surprise they had instore LOL......

I hadnt forgotten a thing, I dribbled and tackled and passed and oh my, our other maties on the sidelines was shouting and was a little gobsmacked that I COULD ACTUALLY PLAY lol...... so...... 20 yards out, I dribbled around Colin who I left on the floor and took a poke at goal.... the goalie was off his line and I thought I could curl it over his head, Im a left footed footie player and as I kicked it seemed the whole crowd went silent and everyone on the field just stopped dead in their tracks and watched the ball........ *HUGE SMILE*.... it went right over the goalies head into the goal.... GOALLLLLLL GOALLLLLL the cheers where amazing.....

So as I turned in me victory salute, me foot firmly planted in the wet ground, my body turned but my foot didnt, and as I turned I heard something in me knee make a loud popping sound, even the bloke on the sideline 6 foot from me heard it......

I had only snapped me acl and me pcl which are the 2 main ligaments that run though ya knee joint... obviously I didnt know that at the time, I just knew that I couldnt play in the next match and that it took me 30 minutes to hobble the 200 yards home.... most people that snap these things have to have an ambulance cos of the pain, but I have such a high pain threshold its scarey at times.... within hours me knee was the size of a rugby ball..... and three ops later to try and sort things out without major surgery, it was decided that I would have to have reconstruction using me hamstring for new ligament..... well those that know me knows of the troubles I went through for 2 years with those ops.... trouble from the start, weeks and weeks in hospital and in icu a year of an open wound numerous exploritories and scraping outs to the bone, and 2 years of physio ...the hospital uses my case in educational talks as 'The Worst That Can Happen When Things Go Wrong' so at least someone benefits from me Xrays and notes lol..... anyways that was all sussed and sorted eventually..... and with the aid of a $1000 knee brace (which NO I didnt have to pay a penny for FANKS National Health Service) I was able to get back to me much loved sport of Tchoukball, which was my passion about 4 years ago.... and back to hiking and everything, even though the reconstruction was a little tight and I couldnt lift me knee back as far as usual, but no limp no nuffin, back to me sports and life......

Was all that pain and trouble and life threatening experience worth it.... YOU BET THE BLOODY HELL IT WAS.... to of scored that goal that amazing goal when no one even knew I could play football.... yeah it was worth it..... its mentioned every year at the annual footie funday :).....

UNTIL..... 18 months ago when I was jumping over things lol...... when me right leg that just didnt make the jumping over the huge beanbag, it caught the top and I went flying over and landed on me left knee on me stone kitchen floor with such force that I actually heard and felt the cartiledge shatter.... oh my..... oh bugger..... soooooooo after 3 ops trying to save what little cartiledge I had left, a year ago they decided to remove it all, and they left me knee just bone on bone LOL...... but, hey, I have a high pain tolerance :)..... but over the months it did become painful and put a stop to me beloved Tchoukball and hiking and all the things I loved..... and since coming back from Maine last summer, things got worse and me hobble was the mickey take of me maties and I just put up with the pain...

Me maties use to call me Forest after me acl reconstruction cos I use to wear this special knee brace (just for sports) but now they call me Quasi, cos I hobble along, I DONT use a stick, nope nope no way.... I would use one for hiking though lol....

I missed me sports and me hiking so very much, and life was different, and I wasnt ready for me pipe and slippers, it was suppose to be my time in life, after years of struggling raising me 4 lads alone, it was suppose to be coming towards the time when I could be let to fly it was to be my time...... so the saddness in the core of my soul was crushing at times....... and I longed to be the person I was, the sporty person that loved hiking with the scouts over the downs the football crazy lover, the Tchoukball player that loved this sport with a passion.... I just wanted me back.... but I was scared.... scared as shit.... passed from one consultant to another, being told that it was a total knee replacement that was needed, but also being shoved from consultant to consultant cos they were not willing to perform this much needed surgery on someone my age.... they wanted me to wait a few more years..... a few more years of hobbling around from A to B, a few more years of excrutiating pain.... well FUCK THEM.....



This is what the inside of me knee will look like once they have cut the end of the femur off and the top of the tibia.... and stripped out all the ligiments.... there will be a 10 inch scar running down the front of me leg, wont exactly match the scars on me right knee DAM lol..... and Im way pass wearing a yellow poka dot bikini, and scars are the roadmaps of ones life right?

So, I was passed to Mr A Langdown, a wonderful surgeon someone that believed that if ya needed it done no matter what ya age then ya needed it done..... so...... thats where I find meself..... last Wednesday I had what I thought was a routine chat with him, only to be told that like it or not, I was gonna have surgery this coming Wednesday before its to late...... he knows Im stubborn, he knows Im scared, he knows Im feisty its all in me notes, he showed them to me LMFAO..... he knows this will be a change after recovery to give me back a little bit of life before I get to old for it to of be any use... before I have to go out and buy slippers and a pipe.....

He works out of the military hospital over in Gosport.... its where I had me acl pcl reconstruction surgery and all me other little ops....

Except he has said 8-10 weeks off work I DONT THINK SO..... a year to full recovery I DONT THINK SO.... so Ive set meself 3 weeks off work... I can still work on crutches if need be...well, with me older nippers....7-10 days in hospital I DONT THINK SO and I need to get back to hiking by the summer.... I will need to get away from here to recharge me batteries come summer..... I might take meself off to Cornwall on me own in a little cottage by the sea and try and figure out what I want to do with the rest of me life before its passed me by completely without the 'my time'.... Ive been there for everyone else all me life, especially this past 7 or so years on me own... I want, I need 'my time' to come before its to late......

When I was first told a year ago that this op is in my future I remember feeling devastated..... to me it was what little old ladies had to keep them mobile, I needed to be much more then bloody mobile, I needed to hike and play sports and charge around like Ive always done - I remember sobbing in front of me matie (which is unheard of) she was a little scared LOL Mel dont cry, Mel is 'well ard' - I remember Ann saying - oh shut up, what ya crying for.... I said, I wont be able to ever go sking - she said when was ya thinking of going sking - I said, never, I dont like sking, I cant think of anything worse - so she says, so whats the problem then..... and I says.... well I might of wanted to go and now I cant, with that we just burst out laffing and giggling - she called me a silly cow....... but it stopped me tears.....

I know I wont ever beable to play football again cos Im a left footer and the surgeon has already told me thats a NO NO so not more football fundays for me .....

So, whatcha doing this Wednesday..... getting ya hair cut? getting ya nails done? having coffee with ya maties? working ya socks off?...... this is what Im doing....



Except Im going into HRH Haslar which is the Naval Hospital...... it was built in 1753 as a military hospital and has been serving this countries military wounded and poorly for centuries....... the buildings look like the old work house buildings.... or some mental institute.... sounds like Im in the right place lol....

I was use to being around naval staff and men in uniforms, I worked for the Ministry of Defence(Navy) for 10 years before kids.... and me lads were members of the Naval Cadets...



Most of the buildings there now were built in the 1800s and at the turn of the 1900s - a bit different to the modern hospitals we are use to today...they still have ward matrons with the big pork pie hats and the wards are SPOTLESS... many wounded military go through the security gates



This I think is the physio block..

The buildings are beautiful but dont be fooled by the old look from the outside, inside its an amazing hospital, its mostly naval staff and naval surgeons so there is a lot of uniforms etc, and we all know 'all the nice girls love a sailor' lol or how the song goes.... I know Im in the best hands, but its a tad scarey after all whats gone on before.... but Im hoping that come Wednesday...... Dear Mr A. will give me the first day of me life back, a long hard road to recovery but, when I put me mind to something I can be a stubborn cow..... stubborn is me middle name....

I wasnt sure how I was going to get to the hospital cos me best maties will all have my minded nippers..... well, but now, whats gonna happen is that Ann will have 16 nippers in her house thats her minded, my minded and Sharons minded nippers, whilst Sharon drops me off, oh shut up, it will only be for just over an hour or so lol...... she wont be able to stay and will just have to drop me off at the military security gate...cos she will have to hurry back before Ann goes insane with so many kids lol... but at least I wont have to make me own way there.......

I have no clue as to how Im gonna get home once Im released or once I sign meself out LOL.... last major op me mad matie Wendy sprung me and we escaped, I can move pretty fast on crutches if I have to.... they nicknamed us 'Thelma and Disease' LMFAO true story.....well, I just wanted to go home lol

Im will be going home to no heating or hot water in the house cos the central heating is buggered and the bloke just aint been out from the manufacturers to suss and sort it out, so that wont be much fun, cos is FREEZING here LOL......



This is my most favourite song at the moment... it hangs in my soul everytime I hear it...it twists and turns and rumbles around my core...

So for me Gumbie maties......you know how special you are to me.. you know who you are...and how much I truely LOVE YOU and how far we have all come together..... and this is especially for me dear dear matie Sharkie..... love you... always..... OXO

I have to be ok, cos Im all me lads have, they have no one else....I will miss my Toms birthday on Thursday so that will be a first :(

Anyways, Im rambling here now, so I will love ya all and leave ya, I wont be here to answer any comments from when I log off this morning, I wont be back on line, as I have much to do..... Ive got a big day ahead tomorrow and I aint even packed me new hospital knickers lol

Be well, be safe....... and fanks...... its been a wonderful ride.......

Twaddling over and out... x