Speculate to Accumulate - Flogging Sand To The Arabs..

Ok.......... I aint much good at most things in life, I dont have any talents.... though, I do remember all the words to that famous British tune 'Land Of Hope And Glory' when Ive had a bottle of red wine, I dont know the words when sober LOL... may I just add here, that it has been many many years since I got rat-arsed, let alone tipsy even.....

So Im not much good at anything, I can still hear the words 'YOU GOOD FOR F'IN NUFFIN' shouted at me by my father as he boxed me ears for some misdemeaner I might have done as a child....and 'YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO MUCH' LOL...

Ive failed at most things in life..... being a daughter, a wife, even a friend sometimes and often Ive failed at being a mother...

But one thing I KNOW Im good at, something I have a canny knack for and that is surviving.... and making money...... not pots of money, but enough....most things in life I look at way different from me maties.... I always wear, just under the skin, me 'business head' me 'there's gold in them there hills head'......it drives me maties mad.... but they are not, and never have been put in positions of survival, they have always had a hand to hold and family around them and a net under them to catch them if and when they fall.......... me, Ive never had that..... not even when I was married to the tosser LOL.... its hard always being everyone elses net, especially when one aint to keen on fishing lol.....

Anyways..... me, I could sell sand to the Arabs.... me maties always roll their eyes when I mention some of the ways I make that little extra bit of dosh.... but then, they wouldnt understand what drives me, no one does really..... I stand alone, not many really know ME, and they most certainly do not know about my life in years gone by or how I tick.... somethings are not for sharing until that someone special stumbles into my life....

So...... Selling sand to the arabs.....ya see, I use to own a pre-school, I sold it about 3 years ago, and I do actually now regret that decision, but tough tittie on me on that one...... but ya see, I still get the pre-school catalogues with equipment and stuff one needs to run a successful pre-school......

Three weeks or so ago a SALES CATALOGUE dropped through me door from one of the many school catalogues that I get throughout the year.... only this sales catalogue was a tad different, this one promised up to 75% off.... and I know all the stuff in the catalogues are top quality cos they are made for schools etc and are very tough and hardwearing.......



This is the now well thumbed catalogue..

In my job, unlike in doodleland land, we have very very high standards and rules and Inspections and policies we HAVE to abide by, and one of those inspection rules is that we HAVE to have multicultral toys and equipment, depicting black people and chinese people and as many different cultures as we can incorporate into the teaching equipment of the kids in our care...we have to have black dolls and puzzles and also items showing different occupations etc .. also toys etc showing people of varying disabilities..... and so the list goes on.. oh did I forget to mention we HAVE to have books and puzzles and items to do with different religons so that the kids in my care know about all walks of life and countries and the people that live in them.... see, I told ya our rules are not like in doodleland lol.... if we dont have these things readily at hand then we dont pass our inspection....

On my last inspection when they asked about what multicultral things I had for the children I replied that I have a black friend called black Michelle that the children often see and I sometimes buy a chinky take-away on a Saturday night and I also had a draggy leg which the kids often commented upon ....... it did NOT go down to well, if fact they told me off bigtime lol, but at least I was being honest lol and certainly being myself ... I was told I needed to get some items that showed these things.... like culture and crimpleness....

So the arrival of this sales catalogue got my 'business head' turning over :)....... I had an idea and what a great idea it was lmfao....... ya see, not many people have access to these catalogues and certainly not the bog standard childminders LOL..... this was my chance....

I flicked though the catalogue with my childminder head on thinking of all the new rules that came into affect at the beginning of September, and what I KNOW many childminders would be lacking......



And this is what was making my brain go kerrr-ching lol

There was stuff that I needed for home here, and I have loads of equipment, so if even I needed it then I know for sure that other childminders would need it, and they dont have the easy route to get it like me, but now they would LOL........

So, this is what I did........ I ordered over 300 quids ($600) of items from the catalogue...remembering I was getting this 75% off so 300 quids worth was actually more like over 1000 quids ($2000) worth of stuff..... knowing I was onto a winner........ yep 300 quids worth of sales stuff lol.... I actually couldnt lose... no way no how.... it was impossible to actually lose LOL....

This is how it works..... I ordered 300 quids worth of items, from puzzles to multicultral dressing up clothes (chinky boy, african child, japenese girl), many many boxes of different play foods, chinky, japenese, italian, french playsets, little black play figures and little figures with disabilities, there was a blind figure, leg brace figure, woman with crutches and top it off an asian figure in a wheelchair which was great for two of the set categories - multicultral AND a crimple.... :) oh and some special cusions for home here.... I ordered what I needed for my own use plus tons to flog on Ebay.... I did let me matie Sharon have a butchers and order what she needed for herself as long as she only order her needs and no more.... this was MY idea and she agreed cos she was mega chufted to be able to stock up on all she needed with 75% discount...



Japenese play food set...



Froggie.. opps.... French play food set...

I knew by buying it with up to 75% off, I would at least make double if not triple what I paid.....

Three days after ordering a HUGE UPS van arrived out the front, I didnt even know we have them over here lol, and delivered the first two of 4 boxes of goodies......



This is Sprite sitting on the first of the boxes lol....

I so couldnt go wrong, ya see, ya have 30 days from receiving ya invoice before ya even have to pay, that means I would have 30 days to sell as much as I could on ebay before my bill would have to be settled....



This is the contents from the first box lol.... my sofa is 3 foot deep so you can see how many little boxes there are :)

I had ordered at least 4 of each thing I thought would sell.... and one by one I started to load them onto me ebay account.... over the past 3 weeks Ive sold 33 items and received 315 quid ($630) in money, which has now paid for all goods I had orginally ordered, so the other 43 or so items I have left is now pure profit...... some of the items sold for 4 times what I paid lol and some for at least double.... ya just type CHILDMINDER in the title and they swarm around like flies on poo :).... but get this..... the first week a couple of the items like the puzzles didnt sell as well as I wanted, dont get me wrong I STILL made money from them...... but not as much as I forsaw...... the best selling was the chinese play food sets etc....and the little crimple figures went for ridiculas amounts of money.... I paid 4 quid for the set of 4, I advertised them seperately and quadrupled me money on those alone lol good job I had/have 4 sets to flog :)........



This is one of the little figures.... that we HAVE to have within our childminding setting...

When I advertise things like this Im not so crazy with the description lol I CAN be professional as and when I so choose lol

But get this lmfao....... after a couple of weeks, I rang the catalogue up and asked if I could return some items that I realised I didnt really need......... sure they said, just box up what ya dont need/want and a bloke will come tomorrow and pick it up and we will reinvoice ya :) BINGO...... so Ive already paid off the whole invoice and still will make at least 400-600 quid ($800-1600) on the things I have still to sell.... I have 37 items still active on there this week alone and still more to put on during the coming week:)........ see I can sell sand to the arabs lol - whilst on the phone I also mentioned that the little chinese and japenese playfood sets where slightly different then in the photo in the catalogue and that even though I liked what I received I thought there would be slightly more bits..... to which she said..... let me check in the catalogue, I could hear her flicking through it and she then said, your right it is slightly different and thats not good ( I WAS MORE THEN HAPPY THOUGH) so she said, I will send you 2 more chinese sets and 2 more japenses sets to make up for the inconvenience LMFAO....... oh cripes so I have 4 more sets coming which will sell at least for 80 quid ($160)...... bring it on lmfao..... shaking me head....



These nuts and bolts look innocent enough but they are so very very educational to the younger kids... 4 different colours, 4 different shapes, 4 different sizes and only the right shape fits the right size which fits the right colour... and eye hand co-ordination to boot :)

Also, the woman opposite me whose 2 kids I just walk to school for her and for that she pays me 40 quid a week ($80) gave me a big bag of clothes and asked if they would be of any use to Sprite, as she is younger then her girl...... I tried all I could on Sprite and gave her mum all those items that fitted her, the rest of the stuff I shoved on ebay lmfao it was/is all proper makes like gap and marks and spencers and next.... they cost me nuffin, and already it looks like I will make loads on them lmfao....



Mama mia... Italian playset lmfao

I love selling on ebay and Im quite an old hand at it now with over 520 buy and sell transactions with 100% top feedback.... ya see, Im very fair with the postage and always only sell top stuff.... I could so easily make a living from ebay alone lol..... me and Colin, who is one of the nippers dads that I childmind for, have often talked at pooling our resources and just making a living from ebay lol.... we both get a buzz from it and he like me can sell ice to the eskimos.....



These threading beads shaped like fruit are just lovely, and wooden, I dont have no crap educational equipment in my house so I wouldnt sell anything crap either....

A few years back I sold a handful of little play figures that were just spare in the toybox.... they went for about 4 or 5 quid I think, and when I send the invoice to the person that bought them, I got quite a shock....... quite a shock indeed, you see, when I sell things from home, be it little toys or items surplus to need from me cupboard I ALWAYS put a witty description, I cant help it, its just me....

So when I was selling these little fairytale castle figures; king queen princess knight dragon wizard, I wrote a little story about the characters lol about how the princess wanted to marry the stableboy but the queen wouldnt allow it so she was running off to get married else where etc etc.... just stupid stuff.... well it must of caught the eye of someone very special cos the buyer not only bought the figures bur emailed me asking if I would write scripts for an animation company that he was executive animator producer on..... it was only the same company that did 'Flushed Away' and 'Wallace and Grommit'...his name is on the DVDs as one of the animators so I know it was really him..... and he sent me some wonderful photos of all the behind the screen going ons (which are all on me old computer and which I will have to get off and show ya) and loads of information, and he asked me to write little stories about different characters that he could incorporate into short animation stories........ IT COULD OF BEEN ME BIG CHANCE lol...... but I never thought I could do it..... ya see.....my father always said I was a 'GOOD FOR F'IN NUFFIN and I'D NEVER AMOUNT TO MUCH'..... so maybe he was right after all :)

When I sold some Denby plates a few months back that I no longer used but were part of a wedding gift back in 1981 lol and a very expensive gift I will add.... I knew there would be others out there with the same set with parts missing.... each plate went for about 15 quid ($30) each..... but I must of got at least 20 or more emails from people just laffing at me description lol...... I put something like 'Denby Gypsy Plater for Sale.... 1981 Wedding gift... no longer needed, seeing as how I have got rid of the husband I thought I would get rid of these plates to... but unlike my X these plates have faired much better, no cracks or chips where as he is old and decrepid and wrinkled with chips and is very much broken'....... LMFAO..... the emails I got from people just laffing at the descriptions were well funny.....

Anyways.... ya see, Im a surviver, and I always seem to be able to make money, its a knack I have..... I wish sometimes I didnt have it..... cos if things aint screwed down I will probably always think about flogging it on ebay lol......

I will shove the money I make in me travel savings account for maybe travelling to the states next year..... and Im weird cos once I put money in certain accounts I DONT take it out for any other reason then for what its in their for....

Waffling on way to much now lmfao.....boring stuff that I know no one but me is interested in lol..... but I aint bovvered.....if you have read down this far you are either mentally challenged or just plain crazy lmfao

x

Fruit and Veggies - 5 A Day......Nuts and Knockers...

Ok....... This is long and probably boring but just the funniest ending, so TRY and slog on to the bottom lol...

We eat loads of fresh veggie and fruit in our house, I cant remember the last time I bought anything that was ready made or processed.... I cook EVERY day from scratch... usually things like huge bowls of pasta or ginormous dishes of garlic chicken lasagne or shepherds pie with sweet potatoe mash topping sprinkled with cheese, or lentil and garlic mushroom gratin with stilton topping... or massive casseroles cooked all day in me slow cooker.. and Sunday roasts at least once a week and and and lol....



Homemade cheese and onion flan.. ok ok so its in a heart shape pan, just call me romantic LOL

I try to buy me veggies and fruit from farmers markets and I LOVE to buy bits and bobs off little gingam covered tables outside the cottages at Southwick where the occupants have grown the stuff in their back gardens.... I also try as best I can to use our little village greengrocers to buy some of me bits instead of the little grocery shop that sells everything, ya know the old saying 'use it or loose it' and I would hate to see out little greengrocer shop close through lack of use....



Homemade sweet potatoe and onion curry simmering away in me slow cooker....... Mmmmmmmm we are HUGE curry eaters in this house :)

Anyways..... I also everyso often order a box of organic grown veggies from Riverford, which is this company that supply right proper fresh veggies and they deliver to ya door free of charge.... they are quite expensive but, oh jebus the taste is proper, ya know, how veggies should taste....

Me last box from them though was a little disappointing, so I aint had them for a few months..........



Homemade garlic chicken lasagne..... this is to die for..



Brocolli and mature cheddar quiche.... I have to make at least 6 of these a week for various sons to take to school, college or work for lunchtime...

But, the week before last a leaflet plonked through me letter box advertising another home delivery on 5-Aday veggies and fruit....... the government over here are trying to tell people that they should eat at least 5 portions of fruit and veg aday, and to stop all the junk rubbish that people are pumping into their kids.....



My homeade Egyptian Lentil Soup bubbling away on the hob.... I could eat this every day its sooooooooo scrummie.... this was a 2 gallon pot to keep us going for a while....

Do you know, when I take me minded kids shopping, we have such fun, BUT, Im amazed at how little they know their fruit and veg, oh they know the colours but some of them aint got a clue as to what they are called....... which lead me to ask some of the parents what they actually fed their kids for their dinners..... to say I was shocked is an understatement.........

Two of the nippers whom will remain nameless only have rubbish like - chicken nuggets (NOT homemade like I make) and chips.... do you know what those processed nuggets are made of, cos it certainly aint proper chicken (sorry Janet).... its things like crunched up beak and bumholes and nostrils and ears and bones with a tiny amount of chicken meat........ and fish fingers and chips (I think doodles call them fish sticks).... well unless ya buy the expensive fish fingers they aint got much fish in them lol..... and pizza and chips and sausage and chips, and I dont mean the real proper sausages that I buy to put in Toad in the Hole, I mean they buy those pink wobbly sausages that are made of MRM which means mechanically removed meat.... which means they get a pressure hose on the carcas of the pig and pressure wash all the tiny bits of meat off the bone and the bums and ears and noses and it all ends up in a slurry sludge and then they press the water out of it and make sausages from the pink wobbly stuff..... a bit like doodle hotdogs..... ewwww

Some of these kids never see fresh veggies let alone fruit at home..... all Infant schools here give the kids 2 pieces of fruit a day at school FREE as part of our GET HEALTHY thing over here....

Anyways, people are intitled to feed their own kids whatever they choose, who am I to judge, I just know that I like to know that my lads since tiny have had the bestest in the food department that I could offer, with homemade almost everything.... dont get me wrong they have had bought pizza before but its usually a treat... and I know when they was younger kids and they wanted kids home for tea (meaning teatime NOT a cuppa tea lol) I would have to rush out and buy some rubbish food cos there is no way they, the kids they bought home, would of eaten lentil and stilton (stinkie cheese) bake.....

So, anyways....this leaflet that I found shoved through me door was for a different company touting for business with the promise of only the freshest stuff and free delivery at a time to suit YOU/me.... at great prices.... with the offer of 20% off ya first order.... so I thought I would big it a bash just to see if it was any good.... ya can have a small, medium or large box with stuff of their choosing or ya can from a list make ya own, but I plumped for just choosing a LARGE box of goodies at 20 quid ($40) not forgetting the 20% off....... I'll try anything once and I always like to give new people and small businesses a chance..... and I spend way more then 20 quid a week on fruit and veg..

So, I emailed in me order, clicked send and was emailed back saying me boxes would be delivered on Wednesday (last week) and was there any special instructions..... so instead of emailing back I rang them, sometimes I like to put a voice to a leaflet LOL.... the bloke was well nice and I told him I was in and out most of the day so if they came they would be 'knocking their nuts off at the front door' cos I would be either out or in the kitchen out the back and I wouldnt hear the door, so to just come around the back and if no one in just leave it near the back door...... simple right? :)

Well the bloke came last Wednesday and he did come around the back like I had requested and I was in and I didnt hear the door lol..... he was really smiling when I opened the back door for him to carry the boxes in, he was a really nice bloke, right proper chatty...... and mumbled something about 'you made everyone laff so hard in the office, you really made our day' I asked him why, and he just said 'check ya invoice'...and PLEASE say you will order again..... we need people like you..... and he buggered off.... I couldnt for the life of me think what the hell he was talking about.....

DISAPPOINTED WITH THE BOXES I WAS NOT........ bloody hell..... the following photos so do not do the boxes justice....



This is what was in the box, and Im sure to of forgotten something....

Fruit box..

6 oranges - bunch of banannas - plums - melon - 6 pomegranits - 6 Avocardos - 10 English Russet apples - 8 other apples - 8 pears - and a bag of the biggest black grapes Ive ever seen....

Veggie box ..

A bunch of giant tomatoes still on the vine - baby carrots with the green tops still on - bigger carrots without their tops - cabbage - onions - brocolli - butternut squash - 3 peppers - cucumber - radishes - bag of large baking spuds - bag of what we call new potatoes, those little ones for salads - celery - leeks - cauliflower - Swede - turnip - parsnips - lettuce - and I know Ive forgotten something lol

All that for 20 quid.... actually for only £15.96 cos of the discount...... mega chufted I was....

Anyways, I was curious as to what the bloke meant when he said I had made them laff in the office, I didnt understand, I had only spoken to someone for just a few minutes on the phone....

So.... I find the invoice amongst the veggies and I have a look.... OMG...... hahahahahahaha see if you can see what the bloke was laffing about....... cos it well made me laff me socks off in me kitchen after I read it....... here is the invoice.... name and address covered over to protect my identity LMFAO....



Can ya see........ can ya?... click to enlarge and look in the box under where it says 'Special Instructions'.... LMFAO...... hahahahahaha

It says - ** Please leave around by the back door if no answer from KNOCKING YOUR NUTS OFF at the front door :) **

They had taken me instructions word for word LMFAO...... I think they liked me... Jebus they like me, holy cow, someone likes me lol

Why oh why cant I just be NORMAL for once, just for one day, or even half a day LOL......

There I told you it was boring, and way to much Twaddle for a dark late Monday evening....

ps..... all the above photos are some of the things I made last week, no one died in the eating of my cooking.... or even had the squirts.... and every plate was licked clean LOL saves on the washing up I says lol....

HE grew - WE scrumped - WE laffed - HE didnt.......

Ok....... Im a bad blobber...... aint had time to scratch me bum of late.....



These nippers in me house every day are part of the reason why.....



And this mob on the noon time Infant School Pickup (I borrowed me maties car)..



An LOADS of this - speculating to accumalating.... (story for another blob maybe)..



As 3 times a week the above....

And what with the house and the garden and me chickens and cats and lizards and washing and cooking and cleaning...... and trampoling club runs and and and ......

Well, I aint really got an excuse why I aint blobbed or got around to emails or flittered around everyones blobs...

BUT, I will tell ya something that I thought was wellabit funny that happened last week......

I think by now most know that me and me twat neighbour dont really see eye to eye.... I fink he hates me LMFAO.... on saying that, he does take in parcels and things for me, ya know, ones that need signing for and cant be left around the back..... except, he dont give them to me straight away when I get home, he sometimes makes me wait a few days and then tells me he has a parcel for me.... the tosser did it last week with a parcel from the States..... I almost wrapped the dam parcel around his smug ugly fat head when he smurked at me whilst handing over the parcel 2 days late......

Anyways, he might of been trying to get his own back cos of what happened a few days previous.....

Let me explain.... me twat neighbour has an apple tree in his garden and its right next to the fence and most of the branches dangle over the fence into my garden...... its a really pretty smallish tree and it offers shade when we sit at our garden table....

Anyways, this year it had an abundance of apples...... more then ever.... maybe it was cos of the crap summer, I dont know, but I know the little tree was ladened down with big scrummy tasting apples........ and how do we know that they are scrummie, well, cos I would just reach up and pick meself an apple when I needed one.....



Example of one of the little dangling branches hanging over my side of the fence..



See, an abundance of apples :)..



A bumper crop.....

Well, the funniest thing of all was that almost all the apples on me neighbours tree were on my side..... maybe its cos the sun would rise this side or maybe it was cos the little apple tree liked me talking to the little robins that would sit in the tree in the spring, I dont really know why, but most of the crop of apples would hanging over into my garden....

As the apples started to get ripe and began to drop into my garden, Janet, Mabel and Cedric would peck them so that I couldnt use them, so I says to my Jacob last week.... hey Jacob, do me a favour will ya, climb on the garden table and reach up and pick ALL the apples that you can reach, before they all drop and become spoilt fallers.......

He said, they aint our apples mum....... I says, what dangles my side of the fence is by law mine for the picking LOL...... SOOOooo Jacob scrumped the apples and handed them to me to put in a bucket...... bloody bucketfuls we picked LOL...

I made loads of apple pies for the freezer and gave some of me maties bags of them........ and then I thought...... I stick some in a pot out on me front wall and put a FOR SALE sign on them.........

OMG I laffed and laffed until I think a bit of wee came out.......

I was putting a pot of apples out the front when me twat neighbour pulls up in his car and climbs out and gets a big box out of the boot of his car...... now, we do say hello to each other even though we both know we dislike each other immensely LOL.....

Me - Hi Dave (his name is NOT Dave but I call him that to annoy him)..

Him - Hello, and dont call me Dave, you KNOW my name is Steve..

Me - Oh yeah, I dont know why I always forget, I shouldnt cos its such a common name... (grin)..

Him - I just bought myself a pressie..

Me - Whatcha buy?

Him - A juicer...

Me - Oh we have a juicer, we dont use it much, you could of borrowed ours... what ya thinking of juicing..

Him - Well, I aint needed one before, but with all the many apples this year, I thought it would be nice to make APPLE juice...

Me - *gulp ~ taking one step to the left so he cant see what I have on me front wall*.. oh Dave, oops sorry, I mean Steve... dont think apples are good for the juicer you should go buy some strawberries or dingleberries from the greengrocers... apples aint no good for juicing...

Him - Our apples will be just fine, Her Indoors is real excited about the thought of fresh apple juice...

AND OFF HE GOES IN HIS FRONT DOOR.......... me, well, I scarper indoors as quick as I can and await the KNOCK ON ME DOOR which I KNOW WAS COMING.......

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK........ I open the door....

Me - Hi Dave, oops I mean Steve..

Him - *very red faced*... did you pick our apples...

Me - When you say 'our' you mean mine and yours right?..

Him - NO I mean Did you pick MY apples... from MY apple tree, which is in MY garden..

Me - Oh, do you mean the apple tree up this end of the garden..

Him - I only have the one apple tree..

Me - Then, no, I didnt pick them...

Him - Have all MY apples fallen off MY tree overnight and ALL fallen in your garden (said in a well sarcastic manner LOL)..

Me - well, a few did fall during the week but me chickens pecked them, I can go get them for you if your that desperate...

Him - So, where did you get the apples in the pot that you have for sale on your front wall..

Me - Apples? oh those apples...... Jacob found them...

Him - THEY ARE MY APPLES AINT THEY? YOU STOLE MY APPLES OFF MY TREE...

Me - Well, not technically, you see they have been dangling my side of the fence now for weeks and we thought you obviously didnt want them cos they had started to fall and ruin...

Him - I was waiting for them to ripen and to buy a juicer so we could pick them and now there is not one apple left on the tree.. (face bright red and getting angry)..

Me - Now Dave, thats a fib isnt it, there are a few at the top that we couldnt reach LMFAO.....

Him - I DONT THINK YOUR FUNNY...

Me - No, your right Dave, oops I mean Steve... but your more then welcome to buy a pot of them off me for a quid....

Him - looking at my front wall and noticing the pot of apples have a FOR SALE sign..... ARE THOSE MY APPLES......

Me - Well not technically, but seeing as we're neighbours you can have the pot for just 50p, thats half price...... thats well a bargain...

Him - STUFF YOUR APPLES UP YOUR ARSE... *crazy expression on his face*

Me - Oh, so they're mine now are they....... I can let you have some blackberries that I picked from the lanes.... ya can have them and the apples for a pound...



HE WENT IN HIS HOUSE AND SLAMMED THE DOOR WITH SUCH FORCE IT ALMOST COME OFF ITS HINGES....

HE grew WE scrumped WE laffed HE didnt.......... some people have no sense of humour...... I did have 4 buckets of apples on the table which I would of given him, if he wasnt so mean spirited LOL..

We did only sell 7 pots of apples lmfao not gonna get rich on those pickings are we, I wonder if I should ask him if he could train his gooseberry bushes a little nearer the fence for next year...

I think as the months and years go by he is warming to me a little, what do you think?

Enuff boring Twaddle for a dark Wednesday evening.....

x

Anyone Fancy.........

Ok..........Sorry I aint been around anyones blobs much or even caught up with all me emails.... Im sorry....... just call me a slagbag... just been way way busy, what with trying to be a substitute mum to 2 little nippers that have started school...... over here they start off just mornings, so Im not only over the school in the mornings and as schools out, Im also having to go over the Infants at noon to pick up J & T the twins, L, and A.... cos their parents have to work so its up to me to settle the little darlings into school routine and be all happy and excited when they come running out to me at noon, arms filled with book bags, paintings, lunches, backpacks, and listen to them jabber on about their morning at school and tease and joke around with them.... all the while feeling sad that their parents are not getting to experience these oh so precious 'starting school' days.... but happy that they love me enough to come running out into my arms full of laughter and giggles..... so I do the school pickups and me matie Sharon does the lunchtime pre-school pickups then we meet for lunch either at my house with about 10 kids or at her house with 10 kids LOL.....

I feel blessed that I get to settle these tiny tots (4 year olds) into school and felt so proud today when Alex came running out to me with a beautiful picture he had painted for ME....... which he prompty gave his mum when she picked him up from me at 6pm LMFAO ..... little sod LOL his mum is dutch and its just so funny, I find meself talking to her in that sloobie doodie up and down singing accent lmfao, we both end up laffing so hard LOL...... bloody foreigners....

So..... anyways that is why Ive not been around as much, also trying to fit in 3 hospital appointments a week ..... but busy is good, and busy pays the bills and puts food on the table.....and makes me forget for a little the empty ache where me soul once was....

Anyways........... Anyone fancy coming for a lunchtime drink tomorrow, and NO, I dont necessarily mean a beer or a spirit, ya can have a fizzy drink or squash if ya like..... cos this is where we are off to tomorrow lunchtime with 8 kids in tow.....



This is The Royal Oak at Langstone harbour, which is about 13 minutes drive away :)..... and that on the right of it is the Old Mill where someone lives, it has no sails nowadays, and some famous bloke years ago use to live in it, at full tide it is cut off and one can only access it via the old Puffing Billy Railroad track which is now a nature reserve which runs behind it.....



You can see how cut off the mill house is at high tide.... I can remember many a time when some unsuspecting holdiay maker had dared to park their car down on the foreshore and go in the pub for dinner etc, only to come out when the tide has come in to find there car almost submerged by the water LMFAO...... funny funny, that will learn em... dam tourists lol



This is what its usually like during any summer weekend, except this summer was crap weather so everyone would of been inside the real old pub..

I love this pub so for many reasons...... as kids we would be taken their by me parents, and whilst they visited with friends in the pub, us kids (kids of the friends to) would all swim in the harbour.... there use to be a little wooden raft chained to the seabed just off the pub which we would swim out to...... Im talking about when I was 7ish I suppose...... no one checked up on us all evening lol..... and I know from experience what a dangerous place it can be when the tide turns and starts to go out..... when the tide is out its just mudflats and when we use to swim in the waters there, we would be to scared to put our feet down cos of the stinking mud on the seabed LOL....



This is the same pub when the tide is right out LOL.... and it stinks to high heaven....

On the opposite side of the road from The Royal Oak are the cockle mudflats where we use to have to go cockling with me father when we was nippers.... but thats a story for another day.....funny and scarey and life threatening....

The Royal Oak use to have a pot bellied pig in the back beer garden, and I remember it use to eat all the scraps off the resturant tables - this pub does the most amazing grub..... the little road at Langstone that leads down to the pub has a beautiful ancient row of terrace houses, and I remember this really old lady use to sell tiny tubs of fresh cockles from her open front door....

The photo above are off the internet as my photos are still on me old computer and as yet I aint had a chance to swap over all the computer cables to transfer them onto this new computer....

The picture is actually taken from the carpark of The Ship Inn pub which is just across the waterway from The Royal Oak...... another lovely old pub with great grub.... Langstone is the gateway onto Hayling Island.... which has a pub right on the beach which also holds such wonderful memories for me, and hopefully now for my lads, but again, those memories are stories for another day.....



This to is a lovely old pub, not as old as The Royal Oak and very different inside.....

We aint just going to Langstone for lunch, we will actually take the nippers along the nature reserve which stretchs right along the coast to the next harbour village of Emsworth...... more memories there for me.....sigh.....

All this of course IF IT AINT RAINING........ wish me luck that I dont lose one of the nippers off the mudflats lmfao.....

Maybe, over the coming weeks, I'll take ya all on a pub crawl of the 7 (yes bloody 7) pubs here in me village..... all over 150 years old except one......

I know if I EVER get any doodles maties come to visit, I will be their personal tour guide, there is just so much to see and do in my part of the world, mostly old and ancient, and I dont just mean the pubs LOL - I was trying to explain to me matie JBelle about all the amazing sites and places here on the South Coast of England...

Enough Twaddle for a Wednesday evening, now that Ive bored ya to death LOL

x

Bloomin Beautiful........ And JobsWorth Tosser...

Ok....... Most of you probably know that I LOVE going to the garden centre with the nippers and me maties.... its only about 4-5 miles from here and its HUGE, so there is loads to see there, and the nippers love it, cos there are talking birds in the hothouse which say 'ello charlie' and there is also a big duck pond where we feed the ducks..... its great in bad weather cos most of it is undercover..... its the biggest garden centre around here for miles and miles.....

Its great cos the Strange Bruvvers that started it years ago, started real small a little further up the road from where it is now.... they were sort of a couple of pikies I think....... and as the business started to grow they moved to where it is now.... and its the most amazing place......they both have their mansions built on site, but they are just normal blokes, still working in the nursery, still getting their hands dirty, I must of known them for nigh on 25 years.....

I suppose me and me matie Sharon goes there at least every 3 or so weeks....its a great morning out for the nippers to, there is so much one can teach the kids at these places.... so much to learn....... there is also a lovely little cafe in the old victorian house that use to be the house on the land, and we often have lunch there, well a scone and a cuppa tea.... they dont like it much though that we take the nippers lunchboxes with us to save having to buy them all lunch, we aint made of money ya know.....



Our minded nippers love going to this garden centre and they often hide from us.... well they think they hide but we always know they are not far away......



Here they are thinking they were hiding LOL - thats J at the back and then Sprite his sister (whom I had since she was 10 weeks old) at the front and then M and T the twins and P their sister.... I love these kids and they in turn love me.... I think LOL



And here they all are in the geranium section.... a bunch of little blondies..

The year my tosser X left me and the lads, I had just secured us a contract with the above said nursery to supply them with alpines, we preferred selling them ourselves at country shows cos we got top prices for them, and by supplying other nurseries meant they got our plants at wholesale prices and they are the ones that make the greater profit from them, without having the risks and hard work of growing them........ ya see..... we had our own little nursery business and it was just into its forth year and he buggered off...he wanted it all to himself, I had helped to build his dream and he decided he wanted it without the tie of kids and family life (after 18 years of marriage lol)...... 80-90 hour weeks I worked building his dream with him..... his father owned a nursery business so it was all me X ever knew.... he had worked for his family business since leaving school at 15, it was all he knew how to do......

I will give me X one praise though, he was the most amazing grower that Ive ever come across.... he was the brawn behind our business and I was the brains and a bit of brawn....... I can load 4000 3 litre pots of perenials and alpines on any given evening by hand onto our nursery van without a shake of a cats tail..... 80-90 hours a week I would put in, I still had me preschool and still minded nippers and ran the house and had me 4 lads to sort and still managed to work every evening and every weekend on our nursery business for 4 years building his dream......

Circumstances made us start our own place, I found and bought the land at a time when the tosser X was suffereing from real bad depression, due to his father disowning him and throwing him to the wayside.... circumstances that almost cost our young son Sams life..I had Sam in ICU and almost dead, I had a hubby with depression, a 1 year old baby, an 11 and 9 year old that needed me, a preschool to run, 12 minded nippers to suss and sort out, and everyone relied on me... I had to carry the weight for all off us on me own for 3 years, and try and help build my X's dream, so that our family had a future.....so build I did, carry I did, go without I did, love I did, struggle I did....... LMFAO then when he had got his dream in place he walked from his family....... I often wonder what we would of become if he had stayed..... him being the brawns and me being the brains of the operation..... he was as thick as 2 short planks, but by god he was the most amazing grower and cutting taker of plants......

But when he left, he forgot that it takes more then brawn to run a business, and by leaving he walked away from the brains LOL..... and a business with no brain cells to plan and risk and think, is no business at all......... it stagnates, it stand still and eventually it becomes nothing....

I miss our nursery, I miss the thrill of knowing people wanted to buy something that we had grown and nurtured...... I miss the big country shows that we use to go to, I miss the interaction with the customers, something which my X hated, he couldnt talk his way out of a paper bag, so I was the 'frontman' at the shows.... and ya know what Im like with people LOL...

So I went from almost losing the life of my precious son..... to both my parents dying within 10 weeks of each other, to my X walking out on his family, all within a few years...... but cos I was use to carrying us all, I think that is why I just slipped into the roll of mum/dad nurturer, breadwinner when I had to do it all alone... cos to be honest, I'd been doing all alone for years.....

I have only shared the above (you are just getting a glimpse not the whole kaboodle) with one other cyber person... the same person that I had shared many of the happenings in my life, I hope that person keeps my stories safe, and places them next to my soul for safe keeping... stacked on a shelf somewhere together....

Anyways...... I digress LOL and have probably said way to much.........

So, the nursery that we love spending time at had a sale on a few weeks back, and it was one of our few sunny days, so we loaded up the 5 nippers we had between us and headed for heaven.. opps sorry, the nursery...



This is what we found....... oh my.... it was orgasmic LOL



As far as the eye could see....



The nippers are at the garden centre with us so often that its like a second home to them LOL.... besides the greenhouses and plants there are HUGE buildings housing every conceivable thing you can think of to do with gardens.... and even some home furnishings with a garden theme..... so we also love looking around those parts of the garden centre....

We often as not dont buy anything, we just go for a few hours to get out, but we always come home with cuttings LOL.... and no, we aint taught the kids how to nic cuttings yet, what do you take me for Fagin LOL ...

Most that know me also know that no matter how good, how quiet I can be, trouble ALWAYS seems to find me/us..... and the day a few weeks ago at the garden centre was not exception......

So, there we was in the home and garden section when we spied some hats, ya know, hats that posh people must wear whilst watching their gardeners do the hard work lol..... the minded nippers KNOW they are NOT allowed to touch or pick things up without first asking me or Sharon...... but I said 'shall we try on some hats' to which they squeeled YES.... so we were all laffing and having a whale of a time, trying on all the different hats, all way to big for their little heads.... and you know me with me camera..... I says..... ok, each put a hat on and let me take your photos......... and they all sat on the little patio furniture for their photo..... just as a member of staff walked around to see what all the laffing was about....

Here is the photo of the nippers, complete with labelled hats LOL



And this is the conversation that followed with the 'staff member'...

Bloke - Please do not let the children touch the goods..

Me - Goods? oh you mean the beautiful hats..

Bloke - Yes, please do not touch them unless you are thinking of purchasing them ..

Me - Maybe we are letting the children try them on so that they can choose which ones they want to buy..

Bloke - That obviously is not true, because the hats are adult sizes and way to big for them..

Me - And MAYBE I like to buy things bigger so that they grow into them, cos your prices are so ridiculasly high we cant buy new each year..

Sharon - giggling and giving me the 'look' ..

Bloke - Now you are just being a smartarse..

Me - Dont you know the customer is always right, its in the good customer guide, page 4, paragraph 3, subsection 2... where it clearly states, and I quote 'The Customer is always right'..

Bloke - Please dont let the children touch the hats..

Me - Ok kids, put the hats back on the rack, your probably right, Mr? 'jobsworth', they all have headlice and I dont suppose it was a good idea trying on hats now was it, and as you say they are way to big for them, so Im not going to buy the hats, cos I dont want my children to look ridiculas now do I..

Bloke - HEADLICE?.. and its Mr Dallas not Mr Jobsworth (HE SO DIDNT GET THE JOKE lol)

Me - Yeah, I so need to get that stuff for their little heads that kills the lice and stops them from infecting others..

Bloke - They have headlice? .. but headlice are catching, ewwwww

Me - Please do not say that infront of the children like that, it can be quite upsetting what with the constant itching, you should see Jons head, its a mass of scabs where he has scratched til he's bled...

Bloke - I really think you should be purchasing the hats now the children have tried them on while having headlice...

Me - Nah its ok, I mean, you said they were all to big for them, I think we'll leave it fanks very much and maybe we'll go buy an ice-cream..

Sharon - Dam jobsworth..

We walked away and Sharon whispered, does Jon and Sprite really have headlice...... No I said, but he dont know that LOL....



These are the 4 perenials that I bought..... a bright red victoria lobelia, a purple lobelia, a plum coloured penstimon and a true blue Salvia...

Why dont some people just mind their own dam business..... why do jobsworths always decend on us when we are out LMFAO.....

Enough boring Twaddle for a dark Friday evening..

x

Marmite Winners - Drum Roll Pleasssssseeeeeee....

Ok... Its a little after 10pm here in jolly old England, its been the most glorious day weather wise.... I think we might be having our summer now at the beginning of Autumn... dam fickle Britain....

It took me yonks today to write out all the names of those gagging to win the marmite goodies.... all on pretty coloured paper and each with a punched out dragonfly next to the names LOL....

And NO dam skankie hat for my competition maties..... oh no..... I put all your names in an antique blue and white striped 'Cornish Ware' jug..... I have 2 of these and I have a passion for jugs, as those of you that know me will know... but I also have a deeper passion for blue and white Cornish Ware jugs..... this one is worth about 40 quid which in doodle terms is about $80... all me little bits and pieces of antiques like me jugs and me many clocks are me nest egg for when I get old, ya know, I will have to flog off a jug to buy food one week when Im old and frail.....



This is the pile of names ready to be put in the jug...

Anyways..... I placed all the pretty coloured name tags in me jug and pulled out five... dont get to excited, I aint made of bleedin money.... BUT.. I did think that maybe I would choose 3 winners and 2 boobie winners.... the first 3 will get the precious marmite goodies and the other 2 will get a little 'british' surprise from me......

So.......drum roll please..........



SOUL PUMPKIN
CINDY
HELEN FRUM - who bequethed the prize to Toadie..

and boobie prize winners who will receive a jar of cockles *giggling* are..

SUE(ss)
ELIZABETH

Except...... as regards the marmite bits and bobs.... Ermmmm.... I ate most of them over the weekend lmfao...... well it was me birthday weekend...... so I will not be able to post them off on Monday as promised.... the winners will have to wait until Wednesday, which will give me a chance to nip into Tesco Tuesday Evening when Jacob is at Trampoline club, and replenish supplies LOL ..... go on, call me a greedy cow and I will deck ya LOL....

So if the above would kindly email me your real addresses.... I'll send the heavies in whilst you're at work and clean ya homes out LMFAO.... just joking.... I post off ya goodies on Wednesday morning....

email me at... marmitetoasty@yahoo.com

And Ive just got to thinking that there was soooo many that would of loved this precious gift of toejam opps I mean marmite.... so if anyone really wants to have a tiny sample sent to them, please also trust me with you addresses and everyone that emails I promise to send a tiny single portion sample to each of ya......

I wont be buying them, I will nick them from the garden centre cafe that me and me matie Sharon often goes to, we have seen them in a wicker basket next to the single marmalade portions in the cafe LOL..... so, if ya really wanna try the most precious taste on earth then just send your address's....cos we can nick as many as we need.. I promise to guard your addresses with me life.....

So, congrats to the winners, now aint that better then winning an Ipod or a camera, you just wait until it arrives you will wonder how you got this far in life without marmite..

Enough Twaddling for a Sunday evening....

x

Birthdays Aye......

Happy Bloody Birthday to 'me'....



Thats another shit year done and dusted...... glad to see the bloody back of it... lets see how good I can cock up the next one aye.... cos thats what Im best at.....

x

Precious Marmite ...What Else Can I say.... WIN Marmite Goodies...

Ok......... gently tiptoeing in the Twaddle door, to see what mess has been made whilst Ive been soul searching......

Bloody hell, it looks like a whirlwind has been through the place.... its no use you all partying in this place and leaving all ya rubbish and pizza boxes and dirty glasses around for me to clear up..... like I aint got enough to do, without having to clear up after you lot.... nice to see that ya never touched the marmite goodies in me kitchen cupboards though ;)..

I thought I would do me first ever 'GIVE AWAY'.... ya know, like FamilyPhil did on his blob, I know, I know, he gave away an IPod but marmite is much more precious, and ThePioneerWoman gives away real expensive pressies, but again, marmite outshines all of those posh cameras she is always giving away lol, so leave a comment, if there is anyone left that reads Twaddle that is, or a lurker, blurker can leave a comment, and I will put the few names in a bowl and pick 2 out and whomever get picked...will win these.....



oh and these...



Marmite Mini Rice Cakes - Marmite Giant Rice Cakes - Marmite Cheddar Cheese - Breadsticks - Marmite CRISP which are to die for - Marmite Biscuits (Crackers) and of course a Jar Of Marmite (pure nectar)...

Yeah all of the above in one little parcel :).... now aint that better then winning a posh camera or Ipod LMFAO..... I aint cheap ya know..... this is priceless stuff...

Those that know me here in real life KNOW my love for the taste of marmite...... I am the only person here that I know that loves marmite with a passion, not one of me maties like it let alone LOVE IT, and I even had to take a little jar with me to Maine last summer just incase I couldnt find it in the shops there, cos a fortnight without marmite would just about make me curl up and die....

Not one person at Sharkies place where we was staying liked marmite LOL..... not one of me lads like marmite, non of me maties here in life like it.... the only other people I know that likes it, NOT loves it like I do, is Toadie me matie to the left of the staples, whom I often send a little jar to, and me matie David who lives in California and whom I use to send a jar to when he lived in Alaska a few years back with the doodle army.... I think though to be honest that he use to spread it on the soles of his feet to keep them from freezing....

Ya suppose to spread it on reeeeeaaaallll thin, but me, well I love it thick and oozing..... me, well, I LOVE to dip me finger in the jar (to which the marmite sticks to like tar lol) and eat it that way lmfao....

It is true, there is no middle ground with marmite, you either LOVE IT or you HATE IT... and the adverts on the telly are very truthfull about that.... and have based their whole advertising campaign around the fact....

Have a look at this one lol..



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

And this one....



And this last one..... which I find a little strange cos it looks like it was filmed on a doodle street and it looks nuffin like our British roads/streets..



The bestest way to have marmite is for breakfast, which I have every morning without fail with a cuppa steaming builders tea..lol....... 2 slices of toast spread with THICK marmite and then topped with a layer of CRUNCHY peanut butter..... it is almost orgasmic lol..... ok ok, so its been awhile for me to tell the difference lol....

If I was to ever get married again, which we all know that is an impossibility lmfao..... cos, Im a bit to much of a bloody challenge lol...... well, anyways, if I ever was to.... then I would dearly LOVE.... just once a week, or even once a fortnight (see I aint greedy lol) for the man in me life to make me marmite soldiers with 2 softly boiled runny eggs (for dunking the soldiers in) for breakfast one morning..... maybe a Sunday, a day when I could stay snuggled under the duvet LOL........ see just how low maintenance I am LMFAO....



I dont want much out of life now do I, just marmite soldiers in bed with a cuppa tea whilst snuggled under the duvet LMFAO......

Every so often marmite bring out a limit edition flavour marmite..... just look at these beauties..



The first one was brought out for Valentines day.... the second one is bog standard marmite and the third one was brought out for St Patricks day....

The passion I have for marmite is up there with me love for me chickens.... it would be a hard choice if I had to choose one or the other LMFAO..... Ive even spread marmite on cooked chicken before lmfao.... sorry Janet :)

I DO have a marmite cookebook and a little zippy character sporting a LOVE IT - HATE IT T-shirt... and of course I have a Giant Marmite Lunchbox, which is shaped like the new plastic jar of marmite squeezie..... but to me the plastic jar of marmite squeezie just dont cut the mustard with me, I love the little brown jars, thats me, always the tradionalist lol....

Anyways..... enough rambling on about something in me life that I love.... so I will leave ya with this old advert from 1974.. thats Zippy, from the kids telly programme back then and the little character I have sitting on me dresser wearing the T-shirt......



So, go on, leave a comment, either good or bad, cos ya know you SO WANNA TRY THIS TASTE OF PARADISE in a jar, oh and in a rice cake, cheese, biscuit, crisp LOL....and if I only get 2 comments, then ya both win lol

Now you know where I get me Cyberworld Nickname from - MarmiteToasty... thats me..

Its a sunny day here today, about time after the lousy summer we had here..... a sunny post for a sunny day....... fanks for sticking by me, ya just like sticky marmite :)

ADDITION - If ya wanna read all about the most precious thing on earth, more precious then diamonds, oil and David Cassidy then go read this....

http://www.accomodata.co.uk/marmite/marmite.htm

X

ps....... the makers of marmite should sooooooooooo be giving me a lifetime supply of this stuff for loving it the way I do lmfao......

pps... on the knee front - Had me consultant last Tuesday, he put yet another drain in.... still only have 80 degree bend, still having physio 2-3 times a week, still in extreme pain, still completely knackered and drained by it all..... but, Im back to work proper with all me nippers now that schools are back, as hard as it is, I have no choice, someone has to pay the bloody mortgage..... life aye..... :)

Gone To Find My Soul......Someone Stole It.........

OXO always..

Dreams And White Picket Fences...

Ok........ for as long as I can remember, and Im going back 30 or so years...... Ive always had a thing about white picket fences.....



It was as if all my dreams were wrapped up in a white picket fence.... all my hopes and dreams and wishes and life..... and I knew when I saw the right fence, it would give me hope and love and safety.... there didnt even need to be a gate to hold me in, just the fence....



Ive seen hundreds of white pickets in my lifetime...... but not the right one..... not the one that had my name upon it...... not the one that knew me..... not the one that could understand me and all that I held inside.......all my pain and sorrows, all my joys and laughter, all my memories, everything that I was... that I am.... and what I will one day be....



And then I found this white picket fence (in the above photo) when I was not even looking, I felt it had been waiting for me in the long grass, waiting for me to stumble upon it...... and all it's souls that it wrapped its self around ....cos this fence came with other souls......this was my fence that I had waited a lifetime to stand before..... I fell in love with this old white picket fence, abandoned against the bushes...with its rough edges and its chipped and peeling paint..... it made my soul alive from the first moment I set eyes upon it..... it stirred my soul like nothing in life had before....... it was the same fence in my dreams...... it felt like home.... it made me feel safe for the first time ever...I felt it knew me, I felt safe telling it my inner thoughts and dreams and secrets.... my secrets.....I felt it had been waiting for me all of these years.... it made me feel oh so safe, I had never felt safe before...

I close my eyes and the fence is still there, everyday, it makes my soul ache..... it will ache until I die.... maybe its my punishement..... yes, this ache is my punishment... always oxo


Someone should burn that fence...... throw it on a burn pile, along with my dreams.....

X