Monday, 4 February 2008

They Overstepped The Line...... This Is Now All Out War....

Ok....... Anyone that knows me knows that I cant even begin me day without a steaming mug of tea.... I cant begin to even function, let alone speak..... the first thing I do after Ive dragged meself out of bed is to bung the kettle on..... this would take first place over the house burning down...... one day it would be nice to have someone that would actually make me a cuppa tea and bring it upstairs so I could drink it in bed still all snuggled up...... well, we can dream right? lol

I dont drink anything but, as I would call it 'builders tea' thats just bog standard tea, no fruit teas, or Earl Greys or green teas or finely blended posh stuff...... just bog standard builders tea......

When I visited Maine during the summer I even took me own box of T-bags, ya know, just incase LOL......

I usually just buy PG Tips..... its been around since I was a kid, only then, it was proper loose tea and not no new fangled T-bags......

If Im home, which seems to be a lot lately, I must make about 12 cups of tea, not that I drink them all lol I usually make a cup and then find it a 30 minutes later on the side.... cold .... lol - tea is my comfort drink, tea washes away all ailments, all problems, all pains, all heartaches.... well its suppose to lol... but thats all bollocks cos it dont...

Anyways...... When I was a kid, the adverts on the telly for PG Tips Tea had monkeys in them, chimps dressed like people, like a chimps teaparty... these adverts went right into the 1990s - as a nipper I thought these adverts were magical and when real young I thought the chimps actually really talked LMFAO..... oh the innocient child I was....you have to remember we didnt have computers and all this new fangled stuff and playstations etc....



Goodness such memories lol.....

I remember that the chimps roadshow was coming to the church hall in Riders Lane around the corner from where I lived as a child....it was FREE to get in, all ya had to do was save the tea packets, I cant remember how many, but I remember me older sister getting the tea packets out of the bin and hiding them from me mum, until she had enough for me and me brother to go to the church hall and see the chimps for real :)..... me sister was 11 years older then me and me brother was 2 years older, I must of been about 7 at the time.....



I sooooo wanted to see, what I thought, were talking chimps...

The time got nearer and nearer to the date when the chimps would arrive, I remember the excitement (how pathetic lol)..... I remember me sister telling me NOT to say anything to me mum, cos she knew that I would NOT be allowed to go...... I never did lies as a kid, but this wasnt a lie right? it was a secret, not a lie, and oh there were so many secrets whilst growing up.....

The day came, me sister gave me brother Paul and me the tea packets and told us to scarper along to the church hall..... see, me mum wouldnt of wondered where we was going on a Saturday morning, cos we would usually bugger off out for the day from early till late on a Saturday, yep hard to think that at 7 and 9 we was out all day and no one would know or even care where we were LOL....



Jebus I was sooooo excited lol...

Well we did go and we queued with what seemed like hundreds of kids...... ok, well life was different back then and this was a BIG thing lol...... queued what seemed like hours, I knew it was a long time cos we had to wait til the second show.... when we eventually got to the front of the queue clutching our empty teabags in our hands the woman on the door went to take them from us and said we needed 5 bags each...... OH NO..... we only had 4 each...... how could this be..... I remember as if yesterday standing in front of the lady saying we only had 4 each and her saying, well love ya need 5 each or you cant come in..... OH NO.... CANT GO IN TO SEE THE CHIMPS.... weeks and weeks of secret keeping to be told that we needed 5 bags each......

Ya know what me brother did....... he took one of the bags off me to make up his 5 and left me standing there with only 3 in me hands looking at the woman.... and he WENT IN, the little sod took me bag and sussed and sorted himself out and went in without me...... and the lady wouldnt let me in no matter how hard I pleaded lol..... bloody jobsworth that she was......

So, I never got to see the chimps, the magical talking chimps that I thought they were...... I remember climbing over the drainage pipes across the steam and sitting there for the rest of the day on me own while all me friends AND me brother were laughing at the chimps...... I never got to see them, but I learnt a valueable lesson that day...... 'those that wanteth something so bad, has to nick the bags out of someones hands to get their own way - it was, sod everyone else, just get what ya want yaself' - well I learnt it, but I never could do it, Ive always put others first, and if me brother had asked I would of given him the bags without a bat of an eyelid......

Anyways...... where is this post leading....

They dont do the chimp adverts on the telly no more with live chimps, but instead of live chimps they have this soft toy sort of knitted chimp that sits and sips tea and interacts with some famous comedian.....and its just called MONKEY... over the years PG Tips have had other sorts of advertising but this knitted monkey has got to be about the funniest....... and every so often they give little ones away FREE if ya buy a big box of teabags....... and the saddo that I am....... I have bought some of the boxes to get the FREE funny monkey........ I have two...... one about 7 inches big and it usually sits on the side in the kitchen AND the one from last month which is about 5 inches and has sucker cups and its stuck on the window in me car..... I LOVES these 2 monkeys..... oh shut up.... I know Im mental but still.......

But, over the weekend I noticed that both of me monkeys were nowhere to be seen...... I wondered if the minded nippers had got hold of them and lost them, so I asked me lads...... loads of smiles and shaking of the heads and words of NOPE aint seen ya silly monkeys.......

So, it was a mystery.... UNTIL this morning when I got up........ someone is gonna pay BIG TIME......



Look what SOMEONE had done to big monkey..... they had hung him by his feet from the pot rack.... he must of been hanging there ALL NIGHT on his own, poor thing..... oh they think they are sooooo funny..... we will see who has the last laff....



Just look what they had done with little monkey with the suckers, they had taken him out of me car and only imprisoned him in the cupboard with the nippers cups....

Oh I can do real good 'paybacks'....... all I can say is, my lads had ALL better beware, cos no one has fessed up, so it looks like I will have to get even with them all :)....

Ya can take me money, you can borrow me heart BUT - DONT MESS WITH ME MONKEYS....

IF YA CANT GET MAD - GET EVEN....... This is now War... :)

To much Twaddle for a nippy Monday....

x

26 comments:

Casdok said...

Ooooo...a woman scorned! I look forward to the next instalment!

JBelle said...

They touched ... the monkey?

Akelamalu said...

Oh they're gonna be sorreeeeee!

I used to love the chimps too especially the one where they're moving the piano and one says "Do you know the piano's on my foot?" and the other one says "You hum it and I'll play it son!"

Kati said...

LOL Hope you find the guilty culprit & can bring him to justice.

Sounds like your older sis tried to watch out for you best she could. I'm glad that somebody was at least making the attempt.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Every penny of my money is on you. I would hate to be one of your kids right now because they're fish food.

And your story about your brother and the tea bags made me want to kick your brother in the tail. Honestly!

katy said...

the poor poor monkeys, this apeing about has to stop right now! set Mabel on em!
i love monkeys and i got the same two! i even have 'hey hey we're the monkeys' on me mobile as me ringing tone hehehe!
sorry ya didnt get to see the chimps :(

Tori_Z said...

Hey, I've got those monkeys! It's PG Tips I drink too, and when the monkeys were available I had everyone searching for them. When the sucker monkey came out I kept repeating what they said on the advert about "your window needs a monkey" and got SO excited when I was finally able to rescue a sucker monkey for myself. LOL!

You better do something good to get revenge for your poor, mistreated monkeys *wink*

Dumdad said...

Disgraceful monkey business!

PG Tips is my tipple too and every time I'm in the UK I buy gigantic boxes of the triangular bags. But I've never seen a monkey on offer. Next time...

Slip said...

My bride also has a tea habit, no coffee for my girl! She has a morning routine, gets up, goes pee, puts the kettle on the stove, sets up her tea pot. One morning, being a good husband I set the water to boil, got her thermo tea pot ready. Bride got up, did she wet swat, and damn near scalded herself on the already boiling pot! Last time I try to help.

susan said...

Do your monkeys talk? Maybe they can tell you some dirt on your boys to use in getting even.

ciara said...

(((mel..anyone's for a monkey's big banana)))i bet your brother is STILL an arse, eh? and i didn't even know you had a sister.

my youngest had a screaming monkey...you pulled it's arms and while it flew in the air it would scream. someone stretched it's arm out so far that the rubber inside stayed stretched. we had to throw it away :(

can't wait to see what you come up with to get back at em :)

Cindy said...

Sounds like those nippers were up to some monkey-business! Can't wait to hear how you get even with the little culprits!
I hope your brother grew up to be a nicer adult than he was a kid-rotten of him to do what he did. I'm glad though that you didn't learn the lesson well enough to be able to treat others the same as he did you.

Go Figure said...

Sink the Bismark!

Pamela said...

I'll sit on your brother while "the rotten correspondent" kicks his butt.

Stace said...

That's so funny! Love the monkeys. I'm a big tea drinker too, I love my tea. But I have all sorts of varieties. Whilst I do enjoy a "builders tea" as you put it, I also love my earl grey, lady grey, green tea, st johns wort, and a few others! Russian caravan is good, and prince of wales... I could go on :) I love my tea!

Catch said...

You have so much fun at your house Marmie!!! And your boys must be as much fun as you are!!! I remember watching the monkeys on tv commercials when I was little too! I think it was for red rose tea....

Queenie said...

Remember revenge is a dish best served COLD.
Must tell you I didn't have a teddy bear as a child, it was a monkey with life-like hands, I really loved that monkey, I wonder where he went, your boys haven't been up my neck of the woods have they????

buffalodickdy said...

Paybacks are heck, that's for sure!

Ol' Lady said...

I don't drink tea but I do understand the concept. I live for cappuccino.
I'm sure if you go at one of your boys he'll give up the guilty one. Have fun with your pay back.
BTW your brother needs a kick in the ass.

PinkAcorn said...

Can't wait for the follow up, I'm sure it'll be a doozie!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Preventing you from getting in to see the magical chimps was not brotherly!

O, those poor little toy monkeys!

P.S. I love this story.

MarmiteToasty said...

SORRY I AINT BEEN AROUND MUCH ON HERE OR ON OTHER BLOBS.... Lifes just caught up with me, still trying to deal with Solicitors and what with running around with Jacob's Trampolining club, and starting me evening Pediactric Medic Course and booking training courses for the next 8 weeks, with the hope of a different job...and designing ads for me vacancies, Ive just been totally knackered come evenings.... trying to dig a escape route out of life before it crumbles around me, comes at a price LOL....

~((((casdok)))~ *evil grin* I will take me time and it will be a slow pleasure LOL...xxxxx

~((((JBelle)))~ yep, they fiddled with me Monkey lol...xxxxxxx

~(((ake)))~ sorreeeeeeeee so very sorrreeeee :) THAT advert with the piano was me favourite :)...xxxxxx

~(((kati))))~ yeah, me older sister saved me life on many occasions and I mean that how it sounds :)...xxxxx

~(((RottenC)))~ well, he always took the easy route...xxxxx

~((((katy)))~ aint those knitted monkeys just the best :)..... lol@hey hey with the monkeys... ya daft cow...xxxxx

~(((toriZ))))~ Im drinking twice as much tea so I have an excuse to buy twice as many boxes of monkey bags LOL...xxxxx

~(((dumdad))))~ I'll get ya a monkey if ya want :) your kids would love em...xxxxx

~(((slip)))~ see ya try ya best and ya burn ya wifey .... is that like where me lads will do something around this place, but do it badly so I dont ask them again? lol...xxxxx

~((((susan))))~ Ive missed you... I have enough dirt on me 4 lads to write a book lol...xxxxxxxx

~(((ciara anyones for a swing on that extra monkey tail))))~ yes, he is STILL an arse, not that I have much to do with him or him me lol sad really, cos through it all growing up, we were very close...LOL@a stretchie monkey...xxxxxx

~(((cindy)))~ my brain is ticking with 'pay backs' lol... and NO me brother as an adult is all out for himself.... and sometimes I wonder if he has it right, cos he dont have the struggles in life like I does....xxxxx

~((((((((Starr)))))))~ sink the Starship Enterprise ..... WHAT YOU MEAN?...xxxxxx

~(((pamela)))~ nah, me brother would fall in poop and still come up smelling like roses.... the favourite blue eyed son he was lol...xxxxx

~((((stace)))~ welcome :) - I tried Dingleberry tea that me matie sent from the states, but it made me gag LOL.... so, that means Im as common as muck so can only appreciate 'builders bog standard' tea :)...xxxxx

~((((catch)))~ its not always fun, we have had some trying times of late, but in general we can usually laff at the poo dropped on us lol.... what else is there to do sometimes but laff...xxxxxxx

((((queenie))))~ oh it will be cold, and when they least expect it lol - OMG my older brother had one of those monkeys, with the life like hands and face, it was wellabit scarey.... and my younger brother chewed its thumb off and I got the blame and the thrashing lol....xxxxxx

~((((buffalo)))))~ it will be slow and painful lmfao...xxxxx

~((((ol lady))))~ I do love a nice coffee at me maties house or when out, but me tea here is like me 'blankie' LOL.... kick kick kick lol...xxxxx

~((((pinkacorn))))~ I have time and patience LOL...xxxxx

~((((Saintly))))~ I never got much as a child... and I dont just mean material things... so this was gonna be so very special for me... and he took it away from me with his selfishness... the little tosser lol but, such is life.....

Ya love this post???? ok, explain yaself young man!! :)...xxxxxx

Tori_Z said...

LOL!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

award at my place...

Digger said...

If you'd like to join the festivites at Dingleberries BlogFest next weekend I'd be happy to voulnteer my webcam and laptop to broadcast the event to you. Ask DFO for my e-mail address and we can work something out for you. I'd also guess that your digital camera would double as a webcam for a return video link.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((toriZ)))~ it AINT funny lol...... xxxx

~((((RottenC))))~ cripes, I so deserving of no award, but fanks for thinking of me :) - I'll be over in a tic...xxxxx

~(((Digger)))~ Welcome :) - ok I will grab hold of Davieboy and see whats what :)..... even if you propped the webcam up on the bar lol..... I would at least get to see ya all......NO MOONING though :).....xxxxx