It Cant Be....... 2nd Blob Birthday....So Lets Have a Give Away...

Ok........ I just aint had time to Twaddle of late...... so much has been going on here, I might explain over the coming weeks, if I decide to continue with Twaddling....

I cant believe its been 2 whole years since I was shoved into the world of blobbing kicking and screaming.... Up until just a few months before Twaddle was born, I didnt even have much of a clue as to what a blob was....

Bobs blob (over there in me side bar) was me first encounter of the blobbing world, and jebus, what a blob to start with LOL..... I will confess it did take me weeks and weeks of reading Tubob for me to even understand it lol....... at times I thought I was trying to read some alien language.... and then it dawned, slowly at first, that I was reading a 'master of words' and almost every few words I had to google the meaning of words LOL.....

But through Bobs Blob I then blob-encountered some people that have remained wonderful true friends ever since.... real people that have carved their way into me heart and soul (well me soul is still lost but they're in there wherever it is).... yes, me fellow 'Gumbies'.... you know who you are..... these Gumbies, I hope know, that I would do anything for them.... in whatever capacity I can at the drop of a hat...... they know I love em..... also through Bobs blob I was led to the Dingleberries Newspaper Site left of the Staples, where after a little bit of a rough start (a few thought I was not for real lol) I have been taken under their wing.... like on Bobs joint I have come across some wonderful people, and learnt to blob around, finding some very special people and blobs on there..... Even after I closed down the newspaper site for a while the crimbo before last with a bomb scare LOL..... to bloody funny... what? I didnt Twaddle about it LOL....... suffice to say, the bomb squad saw the funny side of it.... innocent I tell ya, I plead Im innocent

Anyways, I started Twaddle for two reasons, first of, cos I was bullied into it LOL.... and secondly so that I could maybe keep a diary so that one day when Im dead and gone, me lads might get to have a glimpse at a side of their mum that maybe they dont always get to see, and words that I dont always get to share....... except, they dont know about me blob so someone would have to give them the heads up if I snuff it LOL

Many people over the last 2 years have passed through here, many have stayed (I cant begin to understand why) and some have moved on and left or snuffed it......

Its been a funny 2 years, so much has gone on in this short time......... Ive often spilled to much of 'me' on here LOL..... ya see, believe it or not, Im really quite a private person, I do know that over this past couple of years, my 'well ard head' was allowed to become a bit soft, and it lead to me letting me guard down a bit and that made me a bit gullible ... ya see, Ive always been as tough as old nails, always only had me to rely on... always been the strong one..... cos Ive had to be......

Never underestimate the power of the blob world, when I found meself at the lowest point in me life, strangers that read Twaddle dragged me up by me short and curlies and kept me head above water, until I had the energy to blow up me armbands and stay afloat meself..... so I thank you for that...... you to know who you are.... those that I had no clue about held out a hand of friendship, and those that I thought I knew and needed to care, didnt give a stuff LOL and so the world turns...

I dont know how to be anyone but myself....... and those that I speak to or have spoken to on the phone know Im exactly the same as I am here LOL.....

So..... in honour of me 2nd blob birthday Ive decided to do a give-away...... I aint decided what to give away as yet LOL.... but it will probably be a box of well proper British goodies.......

So....... leave a comment on me 2nd birthday post (yes blurkers come out of the woodwork) and I will pick out a winner and send ya, whether ya near or far, a wonderful box of scrummies......

I wanna fank all those that come through Twaddle, those that make me laff and those that make me cry, those that make me think and those that made me love......Im not very good with words.... but many of you have touched the very core of my being........ and I always swore I would never let that happen....but, I let you become real.... was that a mistake? sometimes I wonder.... and so the world turns, and so peoples lives get entwinned and twist and turn and sometimes snap and get used and hurt in this blob world.....

Jebus, sounds like Im at the Oscars LOL

But through your blobs I have travelled the world via your stories and your amazing photos, I read the most amazing food blobs, and shared the most heart wrenching stories..... I have made wonderful friends in Canada and America and bloody hell, even some northern maties over here, and a jock lmfao.... and South Africa and the bloody Welsh LOL..... I have cried with you and laffed at your antics....... I even dragged two of me oldest internet maties into the blob world.... dont know if they think I did them a favour or not LOL

I hope that in some small way, be it only a tiny way I might of reached out and touched some of you...... cos I know so many of you have touched me...... not in that way you dirty bastards LOL

I am me, just me, cant and will never be anyone else........ those that I call friends know, I will be a friend for life.... I aint everyones cuppa tea but thats their problem not mine.... we cant be everything that others wished us to be, cos I know, I can only be meself...... Im honest and true and make the most amazing friend.... and I never say words or make promises I dont mean....

Ok, Im waffling a load of bollocks now lol........so, leave a comment and ya never know, maybe you might even win a box of crap from me LOL

Oh, before I go, just wanna share this picture of Sprite with you, oh and Pod and Dutchy...... Ive had Sprite since she was 10 weeks old 9 hours a day, 5 days a week...she will be 3 in May..... I love this child more then any other child I have ever minded......

These were taken today in me garden.... it was an almost spring like day, so we spent most of it outside.... a mucky kid is a happy kid, right? :)



This child today came up to me and said 'I lub you Meldee' :) she made my heart swell... at least someone loves me right LOL



Tiz such fun to get mucky :) - This is my darling Sprite and Dutchy (his mum is from Holland hence the nicname)... we had been digging for worms to feed to me chickens.... you can see by their faces how much love and fun I have to share..... I hope that I can build memories for them that they will keep forever...



Only had Pod for about 7 weeks now, I wonder if he will crawl and stay snuggled into my heart as much as Sprite has..... he holds out his arms to me, when his dad drops him off in the mornings.... I think he is happy here.....

So come on blobbers and blurkers........ you know you want the goodies LOL..... over 53,000 have sneaked in here over the past 2 years..... who would of thunk that :)

Slater maties x

I KNOW What I Saw... So Shut It :)

Ok...... well, I suppose I should say happy valentines day to ya.... so, happy valentines day...



If you need a heart today, then take mine..... it dont work no more so you might as well make use of it LOL

Anyone that has been reading the weather news of late will know what fickle weather we have here in Jolly Old Blighty..... we are famous for moaning about the weather, well, actually, I dont, cos no amount of moaning is gonna change it LOL.... but to many Brits it is always a topic of conversation..... dont know what to talk about, then talk about the weather... thats how most think over here....

Well, a fortnight ago we was issued an extreme weather warning down here in the South of England.... and bugger me, we woke up Monday morning to SNOW everywhere, pure white crisp wellabit proper SNOW.... usually I would be as happy as larry about having snow, but cos of me dodgy knee, I was a little bit scared, and the thought of venturing out to take nippers to school was making me apprehensive....I rang me matie and said if I went over I would ring her and just lay there cos there is no way I would be able to get up LOL... she was laffing and saying that she wouldnt be able to help cos she would be wetting herself laffing..... now, thats not nice is it lol.... BUT, not to worry, after a few phone calls it was found that the schools in the village were shut......bloody shut cos of a little bit of snow LOL..... actually it was found that most of England has shut down cos of the snow....... it was the worst snowfall here in 18 years..... wooooo hooooooooo our country was in turmoil LOL...... ok, well down in the South the snow only lasted 2 days and then it had all disappeared lol

I did have to smile though thinking about me maties in the States and the snow they were experiencing there lol, Britain gets a few inches and we come to a stand still.....well I didnt mind, cos it means if the village schools are closed then I get extra work and extra work equals loads of extra dosh LOL

Anyway.... I turned the heating up higher so the house was all nice and snug and warm for nippers arriving....... and I hobbled down the garden to let me chickens out.... which in itself was funny cos they just stood in the coop looking out, daring each other to go first, so I walked back up the garden making that stupid clucking noise that chicken lovers make and they all followed me up the path and to me house, they carried on following me in the back door and right up to me fridge and stood there looking up at me..... so, seeing as it was cold and nippy I let them have some left over rice that was in the fridge and a couple of slices of ham for their breakfast then I shooed them back out the door......

I stood on me back step with eyes as huge as saucers......... oh my, oh my.... there was something wonderful in my garden..... something that to me was the most wonderful thing I could of seen......I shouted to my Jacob to come see, I shouted right proper loud...... JACOB COME QUICK COME AND SEE, OH JEBUS QUICK QUICK....

To my surprise me twat neighbour heard me shouting and hollered over the fence 'ARE YOU ALRIGHT OVER THERE'........yes, I shouted back, but, my goodness you should see whats in me garden....WHAT? he shouted..... I said, you wont have them in your garden cos my garden is more special LOL........ by now I was giggling..... I could hear him scurrying around and what sounded like a chair being dragged into his garden..... the nosey git was only gonna climb on a chair and look over the fence......

By now Jacob had come running down the stairs and was standing behind me looking out into the snowy garden......

Oh Jacob, just look, isn't it wonderful, isn't it just the bestest surprise to see them in our garden....... I turned around and saw the look on his face, a look of surprise that was for sure..... then I saw me twat neighbours little ugly puffy face peer over the fence..... What is it, he said........ look I said in the garden just past the garden table........ where? he replied........ I said, first there was one on its own and then more arrived........ what? he said, what you talking about?..... there I pointed, dont make a noise or you will scare them away....... I saw his head get higher over the fence, he must of been standing on tiptoe to get a better look.....

What? he said, I cant see anything.....gawds sake I say, there near the borders...... Jacob by now was giggling behind me.... I replied, first, when I let the chickens out this morning, when I walked back up the garden I could only see the one visitor and then within a few minutes more arrived until what must be the whole herd.....

Now me twat neighbour was staring straight at ME with that frowning look he often uses when talking to me...... then he looked back in me garden and muttered......... I dont know why I bother with you, I really think you are mad, how many times do I have to fall for your nonsense.......WHAT? I cry....... cant you see them.... look closely and you will see one on its own down the garden and 3 or 4 others just there by the deleafed fushia......

This is what was in me garden that snowy morning a fortnight ago....



Mel, those are NOT real he said........ of course they are real I said.... Ive seen a real moose in America when me matie Sharkie took us to this reserve place, so I KNOW what a moose looks like....

Mel, is there something wrong with you?.... those are NOT real mooses... I really think they should lock you up, I could of broken me neck if I had fallen off this chair..... well, I says, you shouldnt be such a nosey git then.... and they ARE real if you believe in them......... with that he clambered down and disappeared out of sight, but I could still hear him muttering....... I CAN HEAR YOU I SHOUT.... crazy he shouts back..... I turn to Jacob, you can see them cant you....... by now he was in fits of laughter and tears were rolling down his face.....

Here is the rest of the herd.....



I know to the untrained eye this herd of moose might look like a collection of little plastic mooses, and the one near the front on the right might look like the nodding moose that was found in the cereal box a few years ago, and the one at the back on the left might look like the moose that Family Phil's nippers sent me months back.... but they aint, that was a real herd of mooses in me garden a fortnight ago.......

I KNOW what I saw, I love mooses more then anything..... and these really were in me garden..... I DONT care what me twat neighbour thinks.....

Jacob whispered, do you think he thinks your mad mum..... I aint bovvered what he thinks Jacob I said..... I know what I saw *wink wink* with that he burst out laffing LOL

But, also look at this, we WILL get me neighbour back for saying Im mad..... we have a secret weapon, and come the summer when he is sitting in the garden having a nice cold beer in the sunshine..... our secret weapon will come into play..... and we will get the last laff......



Yep, dont get mad, get even, we have saved a SNOWBALL in the freezer and we are saving it for me twat neighbour in the summer LMFAO..... he who mocketh me will me smiling out of the other side of his snowball splattered face come the summer......

More then enough Twaddle for a dark Saturday evening....

x

Where Did January Go....

Ok, bloody hell, where did January go....... well, I know for me its been full of paperwork and government papers and long days and restless nights........

Tiz not that I aint wanted to Twaddle..... its just I aint had time to scratch me bum let alone Twaddle or email or even do much blobbing around...... I did think that by the time I got to my age that maybe life might of been a bit kinder to me LOL....... I think sometimes I must live in a bloody dream world....

So...... what have I been up to..... first of all, from last September my job as a registered Ofsteded Childminder changed, and us in the know do not think it has changed for the best.... the powers that be seem to think so, but us backbones of our jobs think they are talking out of their arses.....

Ya see, they must have it wrong, because so many childminders are leaving by the 100s every month now in England.... tiz all the bloody paperwork now since we changed in September, this new EYFS shit that we have to comply with....... and to be honest, one could have the bestest paperwork in place and still be a shit minder and not treat the kids right with love and respect.... so its all bollocks if you ask me LOL

Anyways, I.... yes ME was to be the first inspected under the new rules and regulations, out of our gaggle of minders here in this village, so I was to be their guineapig.... their beating stick, their learning curve LOL.....

But guess what I did, I decided to redo all me 47 MUST HAVE policies that we as minders have to have in place for EACH child, plus 14 others that I HAVE to have for my home setting (obviously everyones home is different), but like a loon I decided to get it all up and done and dusted before me inspection, and redo all me 14 contracts that I have for each child......



Each of my minded nippers have a file like Sprites in the above photo, it contains 61 policies read and signed by parents, a law abiding contract (which is mainly for my protection)....

Ya see, in England minding aint like it is in the states, we are so regulated and checked up on and have to comply with all sorts of extra training and courses and we even have to have a dam policy if we sneeze to hard LOL..... OK, well thats just a joke, but thats how it feels sometimes....

I have to have a seperate file for each child with their contracts in.... child protection policies... observations of each child and the the next steps to seeing that child progress and how to achieve its own individual full potential....... we are now classed as educators and have set guidelines we HAVE to adhere to....

Well cos I use to own a preschool I know I have all the equipment in place to meet all these new rules and regulations but still its a nerve racking time, just before inspection, cos it all depends what shithead inspector you get on the day LOL....

We also have to have fire protection policies and the obviously smoke alarms, we also have to do fire drill have have written instructions on escape routes etc.... all of which I already had in place...



This is my main copy of all policies etc..

We have to do a 30 page self evaluation folder..... lol

Have all the pediactric first aid certificates... and have complaints proceedures in place and so the list goes on and on and on...... no smacking policy, pet policy, permission to travel in car policy, permission to administer medication policy, anti bullying policy, equal opportunity policy and on and on and on....and risk assessments of me house and written risk assessments of places I take the nippers.... and a visitors book for every person that enters me home whilst any nippers are here, plus a daily register all signed daily by every parent LOL



yep I have to have a drugs and booze policy..... its should read that we are allowed to get rat-arsed on the job LOL.... and should discuss all kids needs whilst in the pub...

Ive always been of the opinion that most of these policies should just come under the cover of being registered...... the ones we HAVE to have should all be part and parcel of getting registered, which would save hours upon hours of paperwork..... if ya registered then a list of all policies should come under that cover......

One of the new policies that we have to have is a 'Lost Child Policy'..... to dam funny if you ask me....... we had to write our own 'what to do if we lost a child policy' LMFAO....... so I did a proper one but I gave me inspector the below policy.... cos I actually do NO agree with such a policy..... all the paperwork in the world aint gonna stop a bad childminder from loosing one of her charges lol - so when me inspector asked to see my lost child policy this is what I handed over... and I sat back and let her read it and to see her reaction........ she already knew how I feel about all the paperwork and the actual worthlessness of most of it lol....



***Lost Child Policy

In the event that my child somehow or other gets separated from her/his childminder, I give permission for the below named childminder to... run around like a headless chicken, shouting and screaming like a fishwife..... if of course they feel fit to do...... or if they would rather, go and have a nice cuppa tea and think about what they have done and the consequences of their actions.

The phrase 'oh well ya can always have another one' will NOT be said in my company... because it can be very upsetting as I have already sold off a couple of the kids.

It will also be noted that I the parent will sue your arse for every penny you have, even if you deem to think that you in actual fact have done me a favour.

It will NEVER be mentioned that I am still claiming Family Allowance for the said lost child.... maybe it will turn up one day out of the blue, like the prodical son.

If the kid should appear at my door step in the future, all knowledge of it will be erased from all memory banks and all paperwork of the foresaid child will be destroyed..... especailly as the insurance money will of probably already been spent on the new extention to the house...***

Me inspector read and looked up and read some more and looked up and started to giggle and read again and said........ well, at least you have a great sense of humour, I do not know of any minder that would have the guts to actually hand that me to..... LOL..... good job she said.....

She also knows that I take the kids to many places that most others would deem 'not right' cos they are to scared to let kids have that little extra bit of experience, like we go paddling in the streams out down the lanes, most other minders wouldnt dare incase they got into trouble.... oh well, their kids are missing out....

Anyways to cut a long long story short....... I passed with flying colours.... all that worry and stress for nuffin.... I got my 20 page written report back yesterday...... and the comments me inspector wrote made me even blush....... and even though this is not a job that I particularly want, I know that I do it with a passion with the kids in my care loving all we do and how I interact with them.... I know Im different from most minders in how I talk to the kids and with what we do..... but, when have I ever followed the crowd..... Ive always stood alone.... it also says that I have one of the best equiped, both fun wise and educatinal that she has seen in a minders home in many a year, both inside and outside things......

A few years ago me then inspector called me a 'memory maker'.... and this now inspector said that I must give the children in my care wonderful lifetime memories.... if so, then my time here has been worth it..

So..... over the past few weeks cos me paperwork and files are so spot on, Ive been helping other minders to try and bring their practise up to standard, so they will pass, I told them I can help them with paperwork but how they manage and treat the kids in their care is down to them.... so that is a little of what Ive been up to this month....

I can hear you say, is that all, just all the above has kept you busy.... well yeah, plus the 50 hour working week Ive been doing and plus this little wee person....



He is called 'Pod' cos he is a cutie little peapod..... Ive had him now since crimbo, well from Jan 5th actually, and he is 6 months old...... and he is hard work LMFAO..... another little darling to help grow and nurture, cos he will be in my care for almost 9 hours a day.. so I will have such a big influence in his life, I hope I get it right..

Also besides all the inspection crap and the care of Pod and 14 other nippers throughout the week..... Ive been looking with our Jacob for a college that he wants to attend come September, he will be just 16 and does not want to go to Southdowns College which is an excellent college just 5 or so miles from us, where his 3 brothers attended, no, not our Jacob, he wants to go out to Sparsholt College in Winchester which is the best landbased college in the country......

http://www.sparsholt.ac.uk/

If you get a chance have a butchers at this place... ya see, my boy, wants to eventually either work for the forestry commission or own his own tree surgery business.... and Sparsholt is just about the best there is in that department...... so we went up to Winchester for an open day and to talk to the people there...... it will mean an hour and half extra travel in the morning and again in the evening for Jacob to go there..... it will be a big committment...... but watching him talk to the staff there and seeing the lights go on in his eyes and the passion in his voice when he listened to what they had to say and in answer to his questions..... I knew, that my boy had found something that fired his insides..... he will learn all about woodland skills and mechanics of all the machinery and the skills it takes to work in forest management..... its a 3 year course and I know it will fit me boy like a glove..... 80% of the course is spent on the estates and in the forests that surround the college..... and the saw mills etc.... everything to do with trees LOL....... and get this....... every single bit of equipment, even down to the boots and clothing will be supplied by the college...... all I will have to pay is the $1400 a year busfares...... but Im hoping that as Jacob turns 17 I will be able to afford to get him driving lessons and then at 17 1/2 maybe get him a car like I did for our Sam........ cos, it will take a hour and half on the bus to get to college and thats besides the 3-4 mile bike ride to get to the bus LOL..... but, ya see Winchester is sorta only 35 minutes away down the back lanes, so thats hell of a difference in travel time, but we will just have to see how the dosh pans out LOL... now it all depends on his main GCSE exams he will be taking after Feb half term, he needs to get good results on those for his place at college, so we have been doing extra work and Ive been helping him with his revision and course work.......

AND BESIDES ALL THE ABOVE lmfao............. guess what else Ive decided to do...... like a bloody moron........ Last Tuesday week I started me NV Queue LOL - Level 3 (C/C/L/D = Childrens Care, Learning and Development) course..... its usually a 2 year at college course but Im fast tracking it into 6-8 months LOL....... its bloody hard as buggery lmfao.... what the hell have I put myself in for...... apparently its hard enough at college let alone trying to do it at home LOL.... oh well at least Im getting a bursary for it and its costing me nuffin whereas most others have to pay the $1300 for the course..... so I might as well slog it out and get is done and dusted.... and to be honest the 150 or so pages of written work that I must complete which are so deep and indepth, well, its mostly what I practise now.... but on saying that.... its still bloody hard lmfao.... just hope I can complete it and get a good pass......cos I aint to good with word or writting stuff down..

So, I think it would be much easier if one of you doodles found me a job in the states lol..... oh and a house with a view and a porch thing that wraps around the house... and room for me chickens....and maybe room for a Llama, I could become someones 'English Nanny' lol I DONT come cheap though :)



Did I mention this little darling? :)

Ive also been house/flat hunting with our Tom and his girl Sammie.... they now after getting engaged back in November wanna have a go at living together before making the commitment of a mortgage etc..... so my lad will be moving out within the next few weeks on the beginning of his life without mummy LMFAO.... maybe I'll move whilst he is gone, cos one thing most dont know is that they often come back home lol.....



Im sure I mentioned Pod, but just incase here he is again... I will add he does NOT do much of this.... sleeping that is lmfao

So, all in all Ive had a busy month........ trying to fit all that around 50 hour working week and hospital appointments and sorting this mob out home here and cooking and cleaning and and and........ not much left at the end of the day for me......... Jebus, I could so do with a holiday or a little bit of loving...... any offers? lol

Way way way to much boring Twaddle for a cold Wednesday evening.......

x