Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Where Did January Go....

Ok, bloody hell, where did January go....... well, I know for me its been full of paperwork and government papers and long days and restless nights........

Tiz not that I aint wanted to Twaddle..... its just I aint had time to scratch me bum let alone Twaddle or email or even do much blobbing around...... I did think that by the time I got to my age that maybe life might of been a bit kinder to me LOL....... I think sometimes I must live in a bloody dream world....

So...... what have I been up to..... first of all, from last September my job as a registered Ofsteded Childminder changed, and us in the know do not think it has changed for the best.... the powers that be seem to think so, but us backbones of our jobs think they are talking out of their arses.....

Ya see, they must have it wrong, because so many childminders are leaving by the 100s every month now in England.... tiz all the bloody paperwork now since we changed in September, this new EYFS shit that we have to comply with....... and to be honest, one could have the bestest paperwork in place and still be a shit minder and not treat the kids right with love and respect.... so its all bollocks if you ask me LOL

Anyways, I.... yes ME was to be the first inspected under the new rules and regulations, out of our gaggle of minders here in this village, so I was to be their guineapig.... their beating stick, their learning curve LOL.....

But guess what I did, I decided to redo all me 47 MUST HAVE policies that we as minders have to have in place for EACH child, plus 14 others that I HAVE to have for my home setting (obviously everyones home is different), but like a loon I decided to get it all up and done and dusted before me inspection, and redo all me 14 contracts that I have for each child......



Each of my minded nippers have a file like Sprites in the above photo, it contains 61 policies read and signed by parents, a law abiding contract (which is mainly for my protection)....

Ya see, in England minding aint like it is in the states, we are so regulated and checked up on and have to comply with all sorts of extra training and courses and we even have to have a dam policy if we sneeze to hard LOL..... OK, well thats just a joke, but thats how it feels sometimes....

I have to have a seperate file for each child with their contracts in.... child protection policies... observations of each child and the the next steps to seeing that child progress and how to achieve its own individual full potential....... we are now classed as educators and have set guidelines we HAVE to adhere to....

Well cos I use to own a preschool I know I have all the equipment in place to meet all these new rules and regulations but still its a nerve racking time, just before inspection, cos it all depends what shithead inspector you get on the day LOL....

We also have to have fire protection policies and the obviously smoke alarms, we also have to do fire drill have have written instructions on escape routes etc.... all of which I already had in place...



This is my main copy of all policies etc..

We have to do a 30 page self evaluation folder..... lol

Have all the pediactric first aid certificates... and have complaints proceedures in place and so the list goes on and on and on...... no smacking policy, pet policy, permission to travel in car policy, permission to administer medication policy, anti bullying policy, equal opportunity policy and on and on and on....and risk assessments of me house and written risk assessments of places I take the nippers.... and a visitors book for every person that enters me home whilst any nippers are here, plus a daily register all signed daily by every parent LOL



yep I have to have a drugs and booze policy..... its should read that we are allowed to get rat-arsed on the job LOL.... and should discuss all kids needs whilst in the pub...

Ive always been of the opinion that most of these policies should just come under the cover of being registered...... the ones we HAVE to have should all be part and parcel of getting registered, which would save hours upon hours of paperwork..... if ya registered then a list of all policies should come under that cover......

One of the new policies that we have to have is a 'Lost Child Policy'..... to dam funny if you ask me....... we had to write our own 'what to do if we lost a child policy' LMFAO....... so I did a proper one but I gave me inspector the below policy.... cos I actually do NO agree with such a policy..... all the paperwork in the world aint gonna stop a bad childminder from loosing one of her charges lol - so when me inspector asked to see my lost child policy this is what I handed over... and I sat back and let her read it and to see her reaction........ she already knew how I feel about all the paperwork and the actual worthlessness of most of it lol....



***Lost Child Policy

In the event that my child somehow or other gets separated from her/his childminder, I give permission for the below named childminder to... run around like a headless chicken, shouting and screaming like a fishwife..... if of course they feel fit to do...... or if they would rather, go and have a nice cuppa tea and think about what they have done and the consequences of their actions.

The phrase 'oh well ya can always have another one' will NOT be said in my company... because it can be very upsetting as I have already sold off a couple of the kids.

It will also be noted that I the parent will sue your arse for every penny you have, even if you deem to think that you in actual fact have done me a favour.

It will NEVER be mentioned that I am still claiming Family Allowance for the said lost child.... maybe it will turn up one day out of the blue, like the prodical son.

If the kid should appear at my door step in the future, all knowledge of it will be erased from all memory banks and all paperwork of the foresaid child will be destroyed..... especailly as the insurance money will of probably already been spent on the new extention to the house...***

Me inspector read and looked up and read some more and looked up and started to giggle and read again and said........ well, at least you have a great sense of humour, I do not know of any minder that would have the guts to actually hand that me to..... LOL..... good job she said.....

She also knows that I take the kids to many places that most others would deem 'not right' cos they are to scared to let kids have that little extra bit of experience, like we go paddling in the streams out down the lanes, most other minders wouldnt dare incase they got into trouble.... oh well, their kids are missing out....

Anyways to cut a long long story short....... I passed with flying colours.... all that worry and stress for nuffin.... I got my 20 page written report back yesterday...... and the comments me inspector wrote made me even blush....... and even though this is not a job that I particularly want, I know that I do it with a passion with the kids in my care loving all we do and how I interact with them.... I know Im different from most minders in how I talk to the kids and with what we do..... but, when have I ever followed the crowd..... Ive always stood alone.... it also says that I have one of the best equiped, both fun wise and educatinal that she has seen in a minders home in many a year, both inside and outside things......

A few years ago me then inspector called me a 'memory maker'.... and this now inspector said that I must give the children in my care wonderful lifetime memories.... if so, then my time here has been worth it..

So..... over the past few weeks cos me paperwork and files are so spot on, Ive been helping other minders to try and bring their practise up to standard, so they will pass, I told them I can help them with paperwork but how they manage and treat the kids in their care is down to them.... so that is a little of what Ive been up to this month....

I can hear you say, is that all, just all the above has kept you busy.... well yeah, plus the 50 hour working week Ive been doing and plus this little wee person....



He is called 'Pod' cos he is a cutie little peapod..... Ive had him now since crimbo, well from Jan 5th actually, and he is 6 months old...... and he is hard work LMFAO..... another little darling to help grow and nurture, cos he will be in my care for almost 9 hours a day.. so I will have such a big influence in his life, I hope I get it right..

Also besides all the inspection crap and the care of Pod and 14 other nippers throughout the week..... Ive been looking with our Jacob for a college that he wants to attend come September, he will be just 16 and does not want to go to Southdowns College which is an excellent college just 5 or so miles from us, where his 3 brothers attended, no, not our Jacob, he wants to go out to Sparsholt College in Winchester which is the best landbased college in the country......

http://www.sparsholt.ac.uk/

If you get a chance have a butchers at this place... ya see, my boy, wants to eventually either work for the forestry commission or own his own tree surgery business.... and Sparsholt is just about the best there is in that department...... so we went up to Winchester for an open day and to talk to the people there...... it will mean an hour and half extra travel in the morning and again in the evening for Jacob to go there..... it will be a big committment...... but watching him talk to the staff there and seeing the lights go on in his eyes and the passion in his voice when he listened to what they had to say and in answer to his questions..... I knew, that my boy had found something that fired his insides..... he will learn all about woodland skills and mechanics of all the machinery and the skills it takes to work in forest management..... its a 3 year course and I know it will fit me boy like a glove..... 80% of the course is spent on the estates and in the forests that surround the college..... and the saw mills etc.... everything to do with trees LOL....... and get this....... every single bit of equipment, even down to the boots and clothing will be supplied by the college...... all I will have to pay is the $1400 a year busfares...... but Im hoping that as Jacob turns 17 I will be able to afford to get him driving lessons and then at 17 1/2 maybe get him a car like I did for our Sam........ cos, it will take a hour and half on the bus to get to college and thats besides the 3-4 mile bike ride to get to the bus LOL..... but, ya see Winchester is sorta only 35 minutes away down the back lanes, so thats hell of a difference in travel time, but we will just have to see how the dosh pans out LOL... now it all depends on his main GCSE exams he will be taking after Feb half term, he needs to get good results on those for his place at college, so we have been doing extra work and Ive been helping him with his revision and course work.......

AND BESIDES ALL THE ABOVE lmfao............. guess what else Ive decided to do...... like a bloody moron........ Last Tuesday week I started me NV Queue LOL - Level 3 (C/C/L/D = Childrens Care, Learning and Development) course..... its usually a 2 year at college course but Im fast tracking it into 6-8 months LOL....... its bloody hard as buggery lmfao.... what the hell have I put myself in for...... apparently its hard enough at college let alone trying to do it at home LOL.... oh well at least Im getting a bursary for it and its costing me nuffin whereas most others have to pay the $1300 for the course..... so I might as well slog it out and get is done and dusted.... and to be honest the 150 or so pages of written work that I must complete which are so deep and indepth, well, its mostly what I practise now.... but on saying that.... its still bloody hard lmfao.... just hope I can complete it and get a good pass......cos I aint to good with word or writting stuff down..

So, I think it would be much easier if one of you doodles found me a job in the states lol..... oh and a house with a view and a porch thing that wraps around the house... and room for me chickens....and maybe room for a Llama, I could become someones 'English Nanny' lol I DONT come cheap though :)



Did I mention this little darling? :)

Ive also been house/flat hunting with our Tom and his girl Sammie.... they now after getting engaged back in November wanna have a go at living together before making the commitment of a mortgage etc..... so my lad will be moving out within the next few weeks on the beginning of his life without mummy LMFAO.... maybe I'll move whilst he is gone, cos one thing most dont know is that they often come back home lol.....



Im sure I mentioned Pod, but just incase here he is again... I will add he does NOT do much of this.... sleeping that is lmfao

So, all in all Ive had a busy month........ trying to fit all that around 50 hour working week and hospital appointments and sorting this mob out home here and cooking and cleaning and and and........ not much left at the end of the day for me......... Jebus, I could so do with a holiday or a little bit of loving...... any offers? lol

Way way way to much boring Twaddle for a cold Wednesday evening.......

x

56 comments:

Dumdad said...

I can't believe you have to do so much paperwork! A childminder (now a personal friend) looked after our two for a while. She lives down the road and I knew by meeting her, instinctively, she was going to be great. I wasn't wrong. She had her own way of doing things and I trusted her. I don't think we signed anything. My kids are now 14 and 11; they adore her and it shows when she comes over for a barbecue (well, not in this weather!) or whatever.

This passage made me gasp: "a visitors book for every person that enters me home whilst any nippers are here, plus a daily register all signed daily by every parent LOL."

Crikey!

I just hope they're paying you at least £50,000 a year plus Porshe.

LadyStyx said...

Good Heavens! No wonder we hardly see you around anymore. With as organized as you are, I half expect they'll want to hire you as a trainer for the other minders...

Cindy said...

Now I see why we haven't seen much of you lately! That sounds like an awful lot of hassle. I think I'll stick with driving my bus.
Still, those kids are lucky to have you in their lives and I'm sure they will never, ever forget you.

Akelamalu said...

It's ridiculous all the paperwork you have to have. I know there are some 'bad' childminders but there must be an easier way. As you say the best paperwork in the world doesn't make you a good childminder does it?

Pod is a cutie of the first order - he's made me broody, thankfully it's too late for me! ;)

You forgot to tell us how your knee is honey. x

ChrisB said...

Great post as always. Glad you got an Inspector with a sense of humour! Good luck with the course -you will sail through.

Little Pod is adorable.

Tori_z said...

My sister-in-law said something simular about teaching. She quit her job last Summer because she was pulled in to the office for a chat and was told that though she treats the kids fantastically and they love her to bits, so she's obviously a good teacher, they need to make her a better one because the paperwork (grades, etc) isn't up to the level they would like it. She told them the kids are more important than bits of paper... They disagreed... So she quit. She now works at a school with kids who for whatever reason (mostly bullying) can't be in mainstream school... Where the kids making some progress is important, but them being content enough to want to learn and come to school each day is more important.

Anyway...

Glad you passed with flying colours. :)

Hope Jacob manages to get in to that college. I'm sure he'll do well on his GCSEs... Especially with you helping him study. :)

Also, hope Tom and Sammy are happy in the new flat and that you don't end up with him back. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm a childminder too, and officially 'good' at my job :) You must have a rather picky inspector as I didn't have that many policies, definitely don't have alcohol and drugs policy! don't have a visitors book and get parents to sign weekly. The SEF, ugh what a nightmare, took me days to complete, and I totally agree with you about EYFS, what a waste of time and money. I bet it won't be too long before they scrap it and bring in something else just as unwieldy. And it appears Ofsted won't be doing our inspections from next year, it's being contracted out so no doubt they'll move the goalposts again, all fun and games :)

Robin said...

Well, I already love you so if you're up for sleeping on a couch with a hog of a Golden Retriever, in a one bedroom apartment on the lake~ come have a holiday!

You've got to be one of the strongest women I know of.

I came to thank you for that tiny story you left on my blob. And it occurs to me that if your nippers know you well, as you did books because of your teacher, they will be able to have any life they want~ because the rich way you love them will serve them always.

~R

Pamela said...

You sure showed us the bad side and the sweet side of child cared.

I'd watch the baby as long as I didn't have to fill out any of that blasted paperwork. ha

Lulda Casadaga said...

Yes, Jan flew bye too quickly! I'm happy that you got a great review..as if you wouldn't!! Now you can concentrate on having fun with the nippers. Spring will be here shortly, so you need to start planning a trip back to the nursery, so you can harrass those mean people....:D Keep warm!

p.s. Sam will be extra helpful for your xmas tree hunting in Dec. Maybe he can bring one home from school! ;)

Mei Del said...

you're a true testament that good sense prevails despite all the red tape xx love ya telling of it all and your pods are precious

PinkAcorn said...

Policies and proceedures...ah, yes ...aka job security for someone who can't walk the walk.

I'll take my two comatose patients over a gaggle of kiddos any day...I just don't know where you get the time and energy! Whew..

JBelle said...

That Pod is damned cute.

Charles Gramlich said...

Wow, a 30 page self evaluation folder? That's pretty heavy.

I know what you mean about time getting away. I just finished a project last night and was looking forward to a day or two of rest when another project was dumped in my lap this morning.

I could use a nap.

buffalodick said...

Whew! What a lot of work to do before you even take care of the kid!

Punkn said...

Does this mean February is going to slow down for you? The children in your care are so very lucky.

Rather than put our children in a licensed day care, we found a baby sitter who at the time was unlicensed. She was wonderful. Her husband worked nights, so he was home during the day and spent a lot of time with the kids too. I'll never forget the mother's day where my oldest daughter gave Shelba a mother's day present but forgot to even get me a card. My feelings were hurt but then I realized just how special that was and knew our children were in loving hands.

little wanderer said...

I want to be a child so I can have you as my child minder!
I used to work in a playgroup but gave up when we had to write and write and plan and plan, hey we used to have fun playing once!
good luck with the course, you sure have stamina x

Jen said...

Wow! I thought I was busy. And as soon as I win the lottery, I will hire you as our nanny. But only if you take me with you on your paddling trips. :)

Intense Guy said...

Its always a treat to read your blog Marmy. This one was a real mix of the good (you passed with flying colors!), the bad, the hopeful (I hope the best for Jacob!), the ugly (the paperwork), the funny (I love the lost child policy), and the waaaaay too cute (Pod!)

I hope you get the time to smell the diapers this month...

You do all these things and more (like teaching Marble how to cluck and finding a home for Tom and Sammie) and to top it off you are "going to school".

I'm tired just thinking about all that!

Jackie said...

I passed with flying colours.... all that worry and stress for nuffin....

Would you have felt better if you had not passed and gotten 20 pages of critical remarks? That reminded me of my daughter going for a check up and having a bunch of medical tests done....$650 and DANG! they didn't find anything wrong!! You girls are soooo funny!

Mel...I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get back to visiting blogs. Besides being "un-inspired" with my own blog, there has been so much going on in our lives. Nothing bad...just busy and some aggravations.

I've appreciated so much the comments that you've made on my lame posts. Hopefully, I'll get back to putting some worthwhile stuff on it.

The pictures of the children are adorable. They are so lucky to have you caring for them. And I KNOW you're the best for them.

I truly don't know how you manage to do all that you do. I could surely use some lessons from you.

Take care, Sweet Girl and keep up this wonderful, inspiring writing!! (I still think you need to publish a book!!!!!)

Betty said...

Believe me when I say you are definitely not boring! I love your blog.

Mom not Mum said...

Wow I never realized how many hoops you had to jump through. In Arizona I can watch up to 6 children (including my own) without a license or anything. I have only done it once for almost 2 years and I had only 2 other children - but they were both babies when I got them. I went down to 1 because with my own kids I wanted to still be able to take them all out and go to the play areas and the mall and mcdonalds. The mom loved it too since her daughter got to experience all those things and not be stuck in a daycare somewhere.

Well, glad to hear how you're doing. I'm lazy in the blogging lately - could be the nice weather in Arizona gettingme outside instead of the rain and wet in England keeping me in.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Dumdad))))~ gone are the days over here when you can do that..... if money changes hands here for looking after kids, then you HAVE to be registered and take all the shit that comes with it.... and no, I do NOT get paid enough for what I do lol...xxxxxx

~((((LadyStyx))))~ lol@good heavens, that sounds like something out of PeterPan lol..... organised chaos thats me :)..xxxxxx

~(((Cindy))))~ but you know what, I would LOVE to be a bus driver, I would drive under all the low bridges with a doubledecker lmfao... I hope the kids dont forget some of the things we do, I do know some remember cos Ive seen some of the nippers I had years ago in town and they always come up to me and say, oh do you remember when, this that and the other....so they remember :)...xxxxxxx

~((((Ake))))~ yep its ridiculous and pointless, well most of it, of course all the police checks are good and they do them for everyone over 16 living here lol.... fank goodness me lads aint done nuffin major on the crime scene LOL...

The knee is shit as is now the other one, I have me main consultant next month.... dont know whats gonna happen..... not getting around to much cos I cant lol.... I just try to keep it all to meself..xxxxxxx

~(((Crispy))))~ well she did have a bit of humour but she was also a stuff up jobsworth LOL.....xxxxxxx

~((((Tori))))~ I can see why your SIL made the change..... to be honest Im ready for a change, but I dont know what I wanna change into, if I had me way I would live in the country and have a free holding and try and become self sufficient.... like that will ever happen lol....xxxxxxx

~((((anonymouse)))~ welcome fellow worker LOL...... WOW thats all I can say is WOW....maybe they are more stick down here in the south, I know some of these inspectors aint been in a child setting for many a year so most talk out of their arses and just 'follow the book'..... Im just glad its over for the next 3 years LOL..... maybe I will of found a new vocation by then, or maybe I might of found my prince charming and be living a different life LOL.... please please come again but please also leave a name at the end of your post :)....xxxxxx

~((((Robin))))~ :) I loves you to.... I could bring me tent lol, not that I could get up off the ground at the moment lol...

Oh hush with the strong woman shit.... I just aint, I just plod on through life and try and brush off the shit lol

And your welcome, I do know the parents that I mind for love how I treat and banter with their kids.... most of them, the kids that is, cry when they have to go home lmfao....xxxxx

~(((Pamela))))~ there is much bad side to this job, and Im almost ready to jump ship LOL.... but most of me nippers Ive had since babies and they are part and parcel of my life, so it would be hard... well, unless a lovely sailor came along lmfao....xxxxxxx

~(((lulda))))~ yep it flew quick.... I still have to keep up to date with a pile of weekly paperwork but the backbone is in place like all the policies and contracts so at least that is all done and dusted.... it would be Jacob that will be handy for a tree next year, and logs for the fire, the college sell huge HUGE piles of split logs a quarter of the price that I pay for them, so I told Jacob to put one a day in his rucksack and bring home if he gets a place LOL.... see, I'll always have that Fagin inside of me LOL...xxxxxxx

~(((((Mei Del))))~ I KNOW I do a great job with the kids, I know by their good behavior and laughter and giggles and warm holding hands and hugs.... the redtape though is the pits, but I suppose it is there to weed out the shit minders, but then again, anyone could pull the wool over the inspectors eyes if they wanted to.... I know of some that do just that....xxxxxxxxx

~(((Pink))))~ sometimes I feel like Im comatosed LMFAO.... I also LOVE old people and could work with them.... policies and proceedures do sometimes hinder more then help....xxxxxxxx

~(((((((JBelle)))))))))~ aint Pod just a cutie..... I cant believe that sprite was younger then Pod when I first had her and now she is gonna be 3 in May....xxxxxxx

~(((((Charles))))~ yep 30 page SEF lol... and its difficult cos ya dont wanna sing to much ya own praises but ya also dont wanna put oneself down.... I think its an unfair to long SEF proceedure.... nap, I wish us Brits did the doodle nap thing.... but its just soooooo not the british way of doing things lol......xxxxxx

~((((((Buff)))))))~ yep, I try to do most of it in the evenings and weekends, so that time with the kids aint affected.... no shoving in front of a DVD in this house whilst I do paperwork..... if shove come to push I would say stuff the paperwork, and this I told me inspector LOL....xxxxxxx

~(((((Punkn))))))~ well Feb will be a bit less stressful, except I need to get in arse in gear and make a proper start on me E/Y/F/S course work, I keep putting it off and off lol....

Yeah its sometimes hard for parents to realise that thier kids love their minders, but on the other hand how special that the kids have that extra love and safety and special person....xxxxxx

~((((little w)))))~ LOL@you... ok you can be a child, but NO nappies lol

I use to own a pre-school and even that is all changing now.... sometimes it sucks to be a child LOL but I do make sure that the kids in my care have fun FUN fun... around all the rest we have to do... and no stamina, Im always knackered LOL xxxxxx

~((((((((Jen))))))))~ oh hurry up and win the lottery, or on second thoughts I will work for food and lodgings lmfao.... oh we would have such fun..... as long and everyone understood me sick sense of humour lol...... ps.... we read the lovely moose book you send every week :)....xxxxxxx

~((((Intense)))))~ yeah Im just a mixed up sorta person LOL.... and its NAPPIES not diapers lmfao

Oh marble is getting big I should do a post on her/him soon....

Im tired all the time, good job there aint a bloke in me life I would fall asleep on the job lmfao.....xxxxxxx

~(((((Jackie)))))~ :) well inspections time is always stressful not matter how one KNOWS they do a great job etc, cos they always try and pick stupid things out..... like she said, I needed to raise the bolt on me back gate, when I said why, she said so the children dont open the gate and get out, I said.... they wouldnt DARE to open me gate LOL.. I said they know not to open the gate and she said, raise the bolt, I wanted to bitchslap the cow right there as she sat LOL......

I do what I have to do cos I aint known no other way, never had anyone in me life to hold me hand, I think now if I did, it would make me soft and maybe I wouldnt be so strong lol...... you inspire so many.... a little break is good anyways, I aint blobbed for a month, I think its also that time of year when the blobbing world slows down......love ya ....xxxxxxx

~(((((Betty)))))~ is that you Betty from yonks ago???? - well when I read me blob posts back, they sound pretty boring and mundane to me LOL....xxxxxx

~((((MnM)))))~ hey you.... yep jump through hoops like a bleedin circus clown.... I do know in the states childcare aint so regulated.... but here its all about the safety of the kids.... the work we have to do with courses and keeping up with qualifications does not reflect on the money we earn.... and I agree, daycare in a purpose build building strips nippers all family life.... normal family life, these kids in my care, well this is their second home and I treat them like I would my own kids....

Hows is been moving back to the states after living here for a few years? I wish I had sneaked in your boxes and was living in the states lol......xxxxxx

Mean Mom said...

Well, I'm overwhelmed - by the post and the comments. You are such a strong lady and I take my hat off to you. (OK, I would if I wore one.)

I can hardly believe that you have to complete all that paperwork. Loved your lost child policy. So glad that the inspector had a sense of humour. Whew!

Hope that February is quieter for you.

Mmm said...

I thought i'd pop over here after seeing you very nice comment on my blog. Thank you.

Well, I have to say you must get the award for the most long blog post I think I have yet stumbled upon. Either you are very diligent or an incredibly fast typist!

anyway, enjoyed you me thinks type writing.Quite funny really. :)

Hey, re" yor profile--in the snow like that? sorry, but you must be an absolute nutter, a true English eccentric eh? :)

JBelle said...

Mel, I remember, quite well, when you got Sprite!!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Mean Mom))))~ I dont know about strong, Ive always been a hard worker and tried to just get on with things...... not that I wouldnt say no to a knight in shining armour whisking me away from all this LOL....

Yep the paperwork sucks, but when you get the backbone of it all organised its then down to taking records or observations of the nippers and the register and and and and, oh yeah, and caring for the kids :)- I forgot that part ....xxxxxxx

~(((((((Mmm))))))~ oh my, welcome to the mad house, I really didnt expect a return visit :)

Oh shut it with the moaning about a long blob post LOL.... but fanks for stumbling to the end, well if ya did, ya probably skipped along jumping from long boring paragraph to long boring paragraph lol....

please DONT be put off by the boring mundane post that this is, scroll way way back and find some 'what others say' right proper funny or moving posts..... I aint always so boring :)...

Nah not deligent lol I shoved this post up withing 10 minutes...... when I worked for the Ministry I could type 160-180 words a minute - obviously I was younger then and more spritely LOL....

As regards the snow... well, what can I say.... we all have dreams right lol - and with the snow in Britain of late it would of been an idea opportunity to fullfill that one dream....... but I only got a wink from the village idiot and there is no way no how I was gonna bonk him in the snow lmfao....

Hope you return to scroll down and read more :) - and yes my reply to you is oh so long...... its suppose to be LMFAO.... and I aint funny, Im just 'me'.....xxxxx

~(((((((((((((JBelle))))))))))))))~ yea remember :) she use to scream for about 4 of the 9 hours a day and then she sorta transformed into the most precious child, I must admit I love her so very very much, and if anything should ever happen to her parents Im down as her guardian...... and guess what........ she loves me back :).....

Oye JBelle, tell Mmm up there ^ that I aint always so bloody boring lmfao....xxxxxxx

Flowerpot said...

Bureaucracy galore eh? You should have a job in government, Marmie!

Karla said...

If my children were still little and I lived near you I would definantly want you to be their "childminder". I never could find a good one here in the states and changed their sitters more than my jobs!!!

What a beautiful little Pod :-)

Maggie May said...

Yes....... I know from experience that there is so much paper work as my daughter does child minding & gets into a state before OFSTED and also it is affecting After School Clubs now for the under eights.
As you say....... it can be in perfect order but it doesn't really make you a good carer.
All these policies, obs and rules & regulations, well they may be to protect the kids but sometimes it takes you away from them.

Those cute babies........

Kaylee said...

OMG i love the babys

Slip said...

Good looking pack of crumb snatchers you got there!

Lisa said...

You should move to the States and become the most kick*ss childhood educator around! I can't believe the regs you have for a home-based minding business, but I know it is better than what we have here now.

anya said...

You make me laugh so much Marmite. I love your posts.

Man I can't believe the amount of paperwork you have to do for that job. But you sure do it with a lot of moxie! Those little darling brats are awfully lucky!

Frum Helen Back said...

It sounds more like Child Minders own and run private schools for tots. You're kids are so lucky. Did the parents agree to up your pay since you passed inspection with flying colors? Wouldn't that be nice. I missed your posts but I'm thrilled you weren't posting because of being busy, and not because they cut off your leg.

Gary said...

OMG - Pod is the cutest thing ever!

Bina said...

Oh my Lordy! You have been busy busy busy! I can not believe all that paperwork you have to have to for just one kid! I don't it's like that here. I mean, when I took Ariana to the new daycare, I had to fill out SOME forms, but five pages, but that's it, and I don't know what they have, but I'm damn sure it isn't that long!

I LOVE the report you wrote on a missing child! You are so freaking funny!

And wow. Your son is moving out, huh? And your other son is going to college at 16???

And hey, don't you have a child there named Pod? Why don't you ever post pictures?? LOL LOL

buffalodick said...

Question regarding your icon, the dancing chicken... Over here in the States, at most Polish style weddings, we have a dance called the Chicken Dance.. Usually to Polka music, proscribed set of moves- including flapping your arms like a chicken. Anything like that where you live?

theresa162 said...

So I read this the other day and for some reason blogspot wouldn't let me post a comment.

Pod is the cutest thing ever! I love me some babies. Especially the ones that go home. :)

I am sitll in Oklahoma which is halfway across the United States from my California. California is beautiful but messed up!!. I go home tomorrow. My kids will be glad to see me been gone a week already.

I love your lost child policy. You so make me laugh. i am glad that you make great lifetime memories with your pods...it is the legal crap that sucks the life out of you. One bad apple made it neccessary for 50 million policies. Sad truly.

Glad you passed with flying colors. Love you my friend glad to see you posting again!!

Tori_z said...

How's the knee? How's the blanket coming along? How's it going with the class you're doing? And, how are you in general?

soul pumpkin said...

...your lost child policy made me laugh right out loud...i'm amazed at how you do all you do...i feel like such a slaggard in comparison...and what a wry little smile Pod has...he knows how lucky he and all the other nippers are to be in your kindly care...

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((flowerpot))))~ I did use to work for the Ministry of Defence and was a union rep LOL.... it put me in good standing for what I do now....xxxxxx

~(((karla))))~ fanks for the vote of confidence, we do have fun, we laff and laff as we learn, just wish there was not so much paperwork.....had pod 5 weeks now and we have settled into a lovely routine and my oh how he has grown in just 5 weeks lol....xxxxxxx

~((((Maggie))))~ yep after school clubs took away much needed work from us minders LOL... Im glad you can see it from my side via your daughter LOL..... xxxxx

~((((Kaylee)))~ :) tiz the same baby LOL all three photos are of pod...xxxxxxx

~((((Slip))))~ hey you... update your blob will ya, Im having withdrawal problems lol....xxxxxx

~((((Lisa))))~ I would LOVE to move to the states, so love to... as would my Jacob and Sam.... its not so easy anymore to get in....... hey find someone to marry me and I will get in that way LOL you know, a marriage of convenience then he can dump me arse LOL....xxxxxxx

~((((anya)))))~ the paperwork is just ridiculas, but its something that has to be done... so one just gets on with it.... you wouldnt of said they was lucky this morning when I had 9 here before school lol.... I must of sounded like a fishwife lmfao....xxxxxxx

~((((Helen))))~ so glad to see you back.... I already charge most of me parents the highest wack that I can to stay competetive.... but I do figure Im worth way more LOL... nope the leg is still hanging by a thread lol....xxxxxx

~((((Gary)))~ hey you, nurturer of dear little nippers that you are.... yeah pod is GORGEGOUS :)....xxxxxxx

~(((((Bina))))~ I have never been so glad to see someone post as I am at seeing yours..... dam girl, Ive been worried.... I do know that childcare especially childminding from home in the states has hardly any safety checks as compared to here..... find me a job as an English nanny will ya lol...

Yeah our Tom is actually moving out this Saturday, my heart is already aching so very much.... and yep, Jacob is off to college in September...

I give all me nippers nicknames :) and they usually stick and everyone ends up calling them by the given new name lol..

we have to name a few.......

Sprite
Just Jack
Scabby Jack
Pod
Sleddie
Oye you shit face
you in the blue

:) just joking on the last couple but you get the idea lol......xxxxxx

~(((((((((((((buff)))))))))))~ we DO have that daft dance over here, usually played at parties and usually when many are slightly tipsy LOL.....xxxxxxxxx

~((((((theresa)))))~ Im so glad to of found you via the crimbo dec swap :).... I love the ones that go home lol I have had a baby and baies in this house now without a break for 25 years LOL...... and people wonder why I aint ready for my lads to give me grandkids...... I NEED A BREAK from babies lol.......xxxxxxxx

~((((Tori))))~ Crap - great - hard - fine..... in that order LMFAO.....xxxxxx

~((((((((((((((((soul))))))))))~ well some of these policies are just dam right stupid so its good to have a sense of humour about them lol.... well I do what I have to do to pay me mortage and bills and to finish raising me lads.... taint easy by any stretch of the imagination and it leaves very little, ok NO time for me LOL....

Do you wanna take me away from all this? lol ......xxxxxx

soul pumpkin said...

ah, Marmy...were i not a starving artist and poor as a church mouse, i would take you and several other dear folks off to a tropical isle to while away the rest of our days and nights...until then, the show must go on....

JBelle said...

I think Mmm is boring!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((Soul))))))~ life taint all about dosh :) - ok, I'll surply the boat if you do the rowing? how about that LOL.... we will pick up a few others on the way, and of course the boat will be big enough to bring me chickens.... oh and you would HAVE to bring your guitar, see, how low maintenance is that lmfao....xxxxxxxxx

~((((JBelle)))))~ what? aye? WTF? Mmmm???????

jolie-jordan said...

You work way too hard girl. Time to think about coming to America and opening a business that involves books and crafts and sandwiches and tea...with me. (smile)

Meanwhile, please be sure to take some good rests in-between all of the chores and make special times just for you.

Think of you all the time my girl.

Love Ya...J

jolie-jordan said...

By the by...I love your "missing child policy". Too funny. We are like twins in many ways...me & you. Our humor seems to run in the same way...not every one gets us but those that do generally loves our take on dealing with life with as much humor as possible.

That Pod kid is a cutie. Give him kisses from me. I love the smell of babies (well not when they have a poopy diaper) but fresh from a bath is bliss and I love kissing their little puffy fat cheeks. So soft and usually a wonderful shade of pink. You are so blessed to share the lives of these little untapped human computers. So lucky to get the chance to view life through their learning eyes and minds.

Yep and lucky for finding your twin. LMAO

J-

Angela Henrie said...

Thanks for your advice on the Russian vine...will it grow in a dry climate such as mine in AZ?

soul pumpkin said...

...and when you come to Amerikay to do that shoppe with books and crafts and sandwiches and tea with our dear jolie-jordan, i will supply the music...

The Fool said...

Thank you for the smile and inspiration with regard to your lost child policy. I can't wait to write my next "philosophy of education statement" for work.

:)

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((jolie))))~ nah I dont, I just do what I have to do to survive..... I do know its time to think about maybe a life for me though LOL, Im almost done with raising me lads, but its probably to late to me now, Im used up and worn out....

Rest will come when Im 6 foot under....lol - yep twins is sooooo many ways lol andwithout my sense of often sick humour, I would of done away with meself years ago LOL....

I have a house full today more then usual as the infant school is closed.... wanna come and help LOL....

love you ya old bat LOL....xxxxxxx

~((((Angela Henrie))))~ I dont know about in AZ but I know its a real fast climber and can be quite neglected on the watering over here..... :) xxxxx

~((((((((soul)))))))))~ is that like 'have guitar will travel' :)...xxxxxxxxx

~((((((Foolie))))))~ if you want a hand writing that then just give me the nod LMFAO....xxxxxx

Lora said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Mel !!!

Frum Helen Back said...

I want to wish you a happy Valentine's Day too Marmie. And please don't ever think you are boring. I love reading every word you write and you do have a way with words.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Lora)))))~ Happy VD to you to dear friend.....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((Helen)))~ LOL @ a way with words...... yep, bad grammar, spelling, sentences, english LOL.... xxxxxxx

B.R.M said...

I'm glad you have that lost child policy!

great post

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