Saturday, 14 February 2009

I KNOW What I Saw... So Shut It :)

Ok...... well, I suppose I should say happy valentines day to ya.... so, happy valentines day...



If you need a heart today, then take mine..... it dont work no more so you might as well make use of it LOL

Anyone that has been reading the weather news of late will know what fickle weather we have here in Jolly Old Blighty..... we are famous for moaning about the weather, well, actually, I dont, cos no amount of moaning is gonna change it LOL.... but to many Brits it is always a topic of conversation..... dont know what to talk about, then talk about the weather... thats how most think over here....

Well, a fortnight ago we was issued an extreme weather warning down here in the South of England.... and bugger me, we woke up Monday morning to SNOW everywhere, pure white crisp wellabit proper SNOW.... usually I would be as happy as larry about having snow, but cos of me dodgy knee, I was a little bit scared, and the thought of venturing out to take nippers to school was making me apprehensive....I rang me matie and said if I went over I would ring her and just lay there cos there is no way I would be able to get up LOL... she was laffing and saying that she wouldnt be able to help cos she would be wetting herself laffing..... now, thats not nice is it lol.... BUT, not to worry, after a few phone calls it was found that the schools in the village were shut......bloody shut cos of a little bit of snow LOL..... actually it was found that most of England has shut down cos of the snow....... it was the worst snowfall here in 18 years..... wooooo hooooooooo our country was in turmoil LOL...... ok, well down in the South the snow only lasted 2 days and then it had all disappeared lol

I did have to smile though thinking about me maties in the States and the snow they were experiencing there lol, Britain gets a few inches and we come to a stand still.....well I didnt mind, cos it means if the village schools are closed then I get extra work and extra work equals loads of extra dosh LOL

Anyway.... I turned the heating up higher so the house was all nice and snug and warm for nippers arriving....... and I hobbled down the garden to let me chickens out.... which in itself was funny cos they just stood in the coop looking out, daring each other to go first, so I walked back up the garden making that stupid clucking noise that chicken lovers make and they all followed me up the path and to me house, they carried on following me in the back door and right up to me fridge and stood there looking up at me..... so, seeing as it was cold and nippy I let them have some left over rice that was in the fridge and a couple of slices of ham for their breakfast then I shooed them back out the door......

I stood on me back step with eyes as huge as saucers......... oh my, oh my.... there was something wonderful in my garden..... something that to me was the most wonderful thing I could of seen......I shouted to my Jacob to come see, I shouted right proper loud...... JACOB COME QUICK COME AND SEE, OH JEBUS QUICK QUICK....

To my surprise me twat neighbour heard me shouting and hollered over the fence 'ARE YOU ALRIGHT OVER THERE'........yes, I shouted back, but, my goodness you should see whats in me garden....WHAT? he shouted..... I said, you wont have them in your garden cos my garden is more special LOL........ by now I was giggling..... I could hear him scurrying around and what sounded like a chair being dragged into his garden..... the nosey git was only gonna climb on a chair and look over the fence......

By now Jacob had come running down the stairs and was standing behind me looking out into the snowy garden......

Oh Jacob, just look, isn't it wonderful, isn't it just the bestest surprise to see them in our garden....... I turned around and saw the look on his face, a look of surprise that was for sure..... then I saw me twat neighbours little ugly puffy face peer over the fence..... What is it, he said........ look I said in the garden just past the garden table........ where? he replied........ I said, first there was one on its own and then more arrived........ what? he said, what you talking about?..... there I pointed, dont make a noise or you will scare them away....... I saw his head get higher over the fence, he must of been standing on tiptoe to get a better look.....

What? he said, I cant see anything.....gawds sake I say, there near the borders...... Jacob by now was giggling behind me.... I replied, first, when I let the chickens out this morning, when I walked back up the garden I could only see the one visitor and then within a few minutes more arrived until what must be the whole herd.....

Now me twat neighbour was staring straight at ME with that frowning look he often uses when talking to me...... then he looked back in me garden and muttered......... I dont know why I bother with you, I really think you are mad, how many times do I have to fall for your nonsense.......WHAT? I cry....... cant you see them.... look closely and you will see one on its own down the garden and 3 or 4 others just there by the deleafed fushia......

This is what was in me garden that snowy morning a fortnight ago....



Mel, those are NOT real he said........ of course they are real I said.... Ive seen a real moose in America when me matie Sharkie took us to this reserve place, so I KNOW what a moose looks like....

Mel, is there something wrong with you?.... those are NOT real mooses... I really think they should lock you up, I could of broken me neck if I had fallen off this chair..... well, I says, you shouldnt be such a nosey git then.... and they ARE real if you believe in them......... with that he clambered down and disappeared out of sight, but I could still hear him muttering....... I CAN HEAR YOU I SHOUT.... crazy he shouts back..... I turn to Jacob, you can see them cant you....... by now he was in fits of laughter and tears were rolling down his face.....

Here is the rest of the herd.....



I know to the untrained eye this herd of moose might look like a collection of little plastic mooses, and the one near the front on the right might look like the nodding moose that was found in the cereal box a few years ago, and the one at the back on the left might look like the moose that Family Phil's nippers sent me months back.... but they aint, that was a real herd of mooses in me garden a fortnight ago.......

I KNOW what I saw, I love mooses more then anything..... and these really were in me garden..... I DONT care what me twat neighbour thinks.....

Jacob whispered, do you think he thinks your mad mum..... I aint bovvered what he thinks Jacob I said..... I know what I saw *wink wink* with that he burst out laffing LOL

But, also look at this, we WILL get me neighbour back for saying Im mad..... we have a secret weapon, and come the summer when he is sitting in the garden having a nice cold beer in the sunshine..... our secret weapon will come into play..... and we will get the last laff......



Yep, dont get mad, get even, we have saved a SNOWBALL in the freezer and we are saving it for me twat neighbour in the summer LMFAO..... he who mocketh me will me smiling out of the other side of his snowball splattered face come the summer......

More then enough Twaddle for a dark Saturday evening....

x

55 comments:

Lady in red said...

I love it I wish my neighbours were more like you.

Alhough our snow had melted by midday on tues ET says that where he was staying in New Forest they still had snow on Friday they still had heavy snow on the drive back.

glad you didn't fall over in it.

ChrisB said...

I'd love to be a fly on the fence when you lob that snowball. Just the thought of it has me laughing.

Jen said...

There's nothing better than moose in the garden! You should have reminded your neighbor that there are few animals more dangerous than a male moose. And I've heard that they especially dislike nosey neighbors. :)

Mean Mom said...

The snow did cause a bit of excitement for a while, didn't it? I managed not to fall over in it, I'm glad to say.

I found some unidentifiable animal tracks in the garden, at the side of our house, after it had snowed. Maybe they were moose prints! That would be a better option than the one my husband came up with. He suggested they might have been from a rat! If he's right, it would have been a very big rat, by my reckoning!

Love the snowball in the freezer! Wish I'd thought of it!

Lisa said...

I love the mooses!! Can't believe yer neighbor didn't think they were real! Doesn't he understand how yer mind works by now? I bet he's too stoopid to know you would save the snowball for him later!

Bwhahaha!

Robin said...

Lord, I love you. Thank you for the laugh!

ChicagoLady said...

Wow! Moose in England! You should have called the local papers, you'd be famous. You must have some real tasty plants in your garden to attract moose. If they're creative, send them to Iggy, he's looking for them.

I can't wait to hear about your snowball fight this summer.

inlandempiregirl said...

What perfect timing. I thought of you when I was driving down the lake to school the other day and came around the corner and saw the largest moose I have ever seen. He was a dark, dark color and must have weighed literally a ton. He just turned slowly, looked me over and ambled off toward the lake. Darn... the only day I don't have my camera! Happy Hearts Day to you dear friend... I hope you survived the white stuff!

PinkAcorn said...

We all need more neighbors like you!
Did those moose leave any perfumed presents?

Tori_z said...

If you say you saw real mooses in your garden, then who am I to argue with you? LOL!

I've had a snowball in my freezer for several years. Everyone keeps telling me to get rid of it, but I wont... I might need it one Summer! ;)

Akelamalu said...

Oh Mel, you're not mad, you're an absolute STAR!!

Make sure you have the camera ready when you pelt him with that snowball. LOL

Lisa said...

Stud muffin says that everything he sees looks bigger than it really is (*wink*) so he sees a whole herd of moosies too!!

buffalodick said...

You nut! Also, snow balls become ice balls while in a freezer- use it the next time you want to knock your neighbor ass over appplecart...

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((LIR))))~ Me maties are always taking the piss about me if I fall over, they say they will just get me a blanket and let me lay there until I die.. nice aye? lol...xxxxx

~((((Crispy))))~ it might be lobbed at a great height like out of the attic window so he didnt know it was us lmfao....xxxxx

~((((Jen))))~ Im just waiting for the Elephants to turn up, that will wipe that smug grin off his face :) lol....xxxxx

~((((Mean Mom))))~ Yep it did, even though it was so little down here lol..... the only school that was open around here was my Jacob's he was gutted....

Cripes at unidentifiable animal tracks, maybe it was a badger lol.... or a mutant rate lmfao...xxxxxx

~(((((((Lisa)))))))~ yeah, whats wrong with me twat neighbour lol.... he falls for things everytime lmfao... xxxxxx

~((((Robin)))~ :) love you to.... I need to start being 'normal' at my age now lol....xxxxxxx

~((((ChicagoLady)))))~ yep real moose in England and not the chocolate variety LOL....xxxxxxx

~((((InlandEmpireGirl))))~ great aye, you see a huge moose arse and you think of me LMFAO hahahahahahaha.... happy belated VD to you also dear friend... we only had 2 days of snow down south, but we wanted more so the schools would be closed more so I could earn more money lol....xxxxxxx

~(((((PinkAcorn)))))~ nope the mooses didnt leave any poos LOL....

ppssstttt.... they was real mooses lol.... xxxxx

~((((((ToriZ))))))~ only real in my head right lol and people have been locked away for head visions LOL..... lol@your snowball in the freezer for years....xxxxxxx

~(((((Ake))))))~ well I do think Im a bit mad to lol but only in the head :).....xxxxxxx

~((((((Lisa))))))~ see, Studdies on my side LOL.... soon the world will be :).....xxxxxx

~(((((((Buff)))))))~ now would that be a walnut, hazelnut, brazil nut, I would like to be a cashew nut which is me favourite :)....

Oh my, the snowball will turn to ice.... EVEN BETTER lmfao....xxxxx

Cindy said...

If you ever come back across the pond you have to come to my house- I'll take you to Sprague's for breakfast and make sure you get a big hug from the moose there.

JBelle said...

hahahaha! You just never can tell what will be in the garden, can you?

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Cindy)))))))~ its a deal :).... and, Ive only ever been out for breakfast once in me life, so it would be such a treat LOL....xxxxxx

~((((((((((JBelle))))))))))~ nope ya cant :)...... xxxxxxxxxxx

soul pumpkin said...

beware strange pumpkins in your garden!...and i want video of the ice ball smacking yer neighbors noggin...

Dumdad said...

Loose moose often live in gardens. It's a well-known fact. As lovely as they are, they tend to breed rapidly and you could find in the months to come that your garden will be overflowing with moose. Perhaps the overflow should go into your neighbour's garden?

Charles Gramlich said...

When my son Josh was little we had a very rare snow in New Orleans and saved several snow balls in the freezer for later.

Great moose pictures. The British variety seems a little smaller than their American cousins.

Eastendmom said...

Now why can't I have neighbors like you? No chickens here, no moose - just lots of squirrels & quiet neighbors.
I agree, you must have a camera ready when you lob that snowball at your neighbor - of course if you post the pic for us you'll have to put one of those black bars over his eyes - LOL. Oh, and I just love your new 'flasher' chicken!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((((((soul)))))))))~ checking garden to see if you are hiding behind the shed lol....

Do you know I grew the biggest pumpkin in our village pumpkin show on year, I even beat old Tom Rogers who at 82 had won the coveted prize 7 years on the trot....

pushing little stones into the iceball/snowball for added affect :)....xxxxxxxx

~((((Dumdad)))))~ oh my oh my do you think then that my the summer I might have a few more nodding plastic cereal box mooses to place on top of me dresser with me other moose treasures? lol.......xxxxx

~((((Charles))))~ if I had thought I would of saves loads of snowballs, then the tosser wouldnt know what will hit him come summer....

wow you really had snow in new orleans? goodness..

Yes it is strange how small the mooses are, the biggest is only but about 5 inches LOL and thats the one all the way from Idaho :)....xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Eastendmum)))~ I do not know whether I could live without chickens in me life :) - YOU NOTICED the flasher chicken in me sidebar LOL....

Believe me, you would NOT want me as your neighbour lol.... I would be best living in the middle of know where without neighbours for miles lol....xxxxx

Punkn said...

LAMAO those meese look suspiciously fake, but who am I to judge?

Frum Helen Back said...

Your neighbor is crazy Mel, not you. I live in Idaho and have had moose in my yard more than once. So I know a moose when I see one and those are mooses.

Scots said...

"he who mocketh me will me smiling out of the other side of his snowball splattered face come the summer."

jeezo

don't want you coming up to find me with that great lump of snow ....... I'll be back shortly xxxxxxxx

Hope you and yours are well marmie xxx mwah mwah

Elizabeth said...

Dunno how anyone can think you're crazy. I didn't see custom moose clothes on any of them. Not even a hat.

Did you get your stuff yet? I have no idea how long it takes to get a box from here to there...and half the time at our post office they just "misplace" boxes anyway.

Slip said...

Mel my love I know snow and that ain't it!We have had 211 inches here and 234 inches on the hill. You are right about me blogging sucking and such. I have been a very very busy boy. Just for you I posted! Please Please take a pop over and have a read!

Pamela said...

awww ha ha. You better wrap it up in plastic *if you have a self defrosting fridge

We have snow in the foothills and mountains, none down here - although it snowed a bit this morning (I call it spitting snow)

I'm going to have to keep my eye open for the little moose family that visits our valley in spring & summer.

Catch said...

haha Marmie,I do hope you take pics when you splatter him with that snowball and share it with us!!!!! hehehehehehe

LadyStyx said...

Oh my oh my! Is THAT where my creative moose got herself to? I'd wondered where she'd wandered off to after she kicked her stall door down a few weeks back. Things simply aint been right since she left....

little wanderer said...

so glad you managed to get a photo of them and share it with us, am so jealous that I didn't get to see them in real life though, maybe next time we get snow up here they might just visit me then, fingers crossed for me!

Tori_z said...

You only get locked up for stuff like that if you let people figure out it's only in your head and it's not them who are nuts. Keep them thinking they're the ones going nuts and you'll be able to avoid getting locked up. ;)

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Punkn)))))~ oh shut it, they so aint LMFAO....xxxxxx

~((((HelenBack))))~ I agree, he shouldnt take the bait each time LOL....only crazy people do that :)...xxxxxx

~(((((Scottie))))))~ there he is, me little ginger mini McTavish... so it took a threat from me on your blob to make you show ya face lol.... now lift up ya kilt ;).. nice to see you alive and kicking... hugs and snogs...xxxxxx

~(((((Elizabeth)))))~ Exactly, I didnt dress them up when I took them down from the top of the dresser LMFAO...... nope not yet, Im waiting with baited breath :)...xxxxxxxx

~((((((Slip))))))~ I know I KNOW, our snow was pitiful, BUT down here in the south we only got a sprinkling, but up north they had right proper cut off village sort of snow :) - and I KNOW you have been busy as a fly on poo, I just like ragging ya lmfao..... I'll pop over now and have a butchers....xxxxxxx

~((((Pamela)))))~ when I defrost me freezer which Im running down supplies to do just that, the snowball will be quickly transferred to me matie Wendy's freezer uptil mine is ready to accomdate it again LOL...xxxxxxx

~(((((Catch)))))~ I will take photos :)....giggling.... xxxxxxx

~((((LadyStyx))))))~ they aint your mooses they be mine lol....xxxxxx

~(((((little wanderer)))))~ yep, just as I thought, you are a crazy as me neighbour LOL.....xxxxx

~(((((ToriZ)))))~ I will try to stop the rocking from side to side and muttering to meself, cos that might be a dead giveaway to me craziness :) .....xxxxxxx

jolie-jordan said...

Funny, Funny...you are going to drive your neighbor up a wall. Of course he is correct...you are a mad woman. LMAO

What a wonderful image of him tip-toe looking over your fence at a herd of fantasy mooses...only you would call them mooses.

Thanks for the morning laugh it's a great start to my day. You silly goose.

Me to you Mel.

Love from me, Jolie

You Brits are such a bunch of whimps when it comes to snow. Gosh...toughen up girl. I'm a great one to talk, eh? I piss and moan about the weather all of the time. Boring!

Tori_z said...

Yeah, I think that would be a bit of a giveaway. LOL!

Flowerpot said...

A loose moose in the - er - garden?!!!

buffalodick said...

I think you need me the same way Jack The Ripper needed a new knife.. Do what you will ,ya crazy lady- least you have one friend who has a clue!

some guy who blogs said...

Ms. Marmee, you just gotta save me a picture of when you lambaste your dink neighbor with that long-saved snowball...make a real production of it! Smack!!! Right in the face. And if he reports you to the cops, by the time they arrive, the evidence will have melted. Cool!

The Fool said...

Yep. Dem's mooses...I can back ya. Perhaps distant cousins to the ones I have in my yard...but dem's mooses. I've seen enough of 'em in my life to know. Enough snow, too. You are a card, matie.

The Fool said...

...at least they're males...it's the cows with calves you have to worry mostest about. They look legal too...let me get my 30.06 and I'll bag one for the freezer. ;)

Lulda Casadaga said...

You are too funny! I was cracking up here at work...when I looked at the snowball in the freezer, I also saw those blueberries and thought you were going to use them as moose turds to place on his lawn...but, I suppose moose turds would be bigger! :D Maybe you can have one Moose on the brick wall lookin as you throw the snowball! LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((((Jolie)))))))))~ I think he has already driven himself up the wall LOL..... tiz not only me that does not like him... only they dont get the chance to wind him up like I do LMFAO

Yep we are snow whimps I agree lol.....

love you to.....xxxxxxxx

~((((ToriZ)))))~ yep a dead giveaway :)...xxxxxx

~(((((Flowerpot)))))))~ sung with a scottish accent (where is Scottie when one needs him) what owt theres a moose loose aboot this hoouse :)....xxxxxx

~(((((buff))))))~ yep you seem to be on the same wave length as me LOL.... we will both end up in the same loonie bin Im sure :)....xxxxxxx

~((((((some guy))))))~ nah he wouldnt call the police... he would have to move if he did that LOL and he is already living off the woman next door, so knows he is onto a good thing lol....xxxxxxx

~(((((Foolie))))))~ dem is aint they LOL - oh how I so love mooses, I have for such a long time, aint that strange.....

Do you know me matie Rich who lives in Alaska knows I loves mooses and years ago send me a moose parcel, Ive blobbed about eating the moose poo thinking it was truffles lmfao well, he said he would send me a photo with him with a real moose....... he only sent me a bloody photo of him kneeling next to a poor huge moose he had just killed :(....... so,, taking your 30.06 from you.... cos me freezer aint never gonna contain no mooses....

Me matie Paula that lives in Canada, between me birthday and crimbo did send me a real part of a moose jaw with real teeth in it that she had found in the woods at the back of her house.... me maties here thought it gross but it was one of the best pressies ever LOL....xxxxxxxxx

~((((lulda)))))~ yep blueberries here are soooooo expensive, that little carton is usually about $7, but every so often they have them on offer for just a quid ($2) so I stock up..... xxxxxxx

Bina said...

They look perfectly real to me! And I'm not sure what size they are, but the picture makes them look life-size!

And I would LOVE to have you as a neighbor. I don't think you are mad at all, I think you would be great fun!

Deb said...

You are too funny! This could be a reality show. I have a very unflattering picture in my head of your neighbor! And I can't wait to read about the snowball fight this summer - please take pictures!

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Bina)))))~ the biggest one in the herd is only about 6 inches big LOL.... the bendy bigger moose is one I bought in Maine a while back :)... you would be a fun neighbour to have .... wanna move here lol.....xxxxxx

~(((Deb))))~ oh thats it, take the piss out of me life lmfao..... we are so gonna get him with the snowball, whether its turned to an iceball or not LOL......xxxxx

B.R.M said...

I'm catching up Mel! How funny.

(hey don't think I will iron anytime soon...oh darn!)

Thank you for being a good friend.

TN Becky

Mmm said...

Funny!!

goatman said...

So the snow brings out the hidden creatures not seen in the summer. I knew there was a catch.
Saw you Brits on the evening news falling on your bums in the snow and ice . . . welcome to our world. Have you never heard of kitty litter?? Works great on the ice and you can maintain your dignity.

Your neighbor seems a wonderful person. Just the dogger to balance your antics!!
We must retain balance in world after all.

Mei Del said...

soz i haven't been around but coming here always lifts my spirits xx

Go Figure said...

So, how many tags did you fill? Freezer full? Mmm, mmm, good.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Mmm))))~ nah, taint funny, you should scroll back and find me Gnome post if you want funny LOL..... fanks for coming back :)....xxxxxx

~(((((goatman)))))~ I KNOW about the pussy Brits and a tiny bit of snow LOL.... hey, Im on your side, you have well proper snow......

Me neighbour is a right proper twat.... so dont go feeling sorry for him LOL......xxxxxx

~(((((Mei Del))))~ hey you sweetie.... I have huge ears if you need to shift some of your load..... glad I lifted your spirits, make mine a gin and orange will ya lol.....xxxxxx

~((((((((((((((Starr))))))))))))~ my little hunter matie......oh my oh my, I could NEVER eat moose, well not unless it was disguised as meat LOL..... googling what 'tags' mean lmfao.....xxxxxxxx

Intense Guy said...

Umm.. well, I am reminded of the flung cow poo and wonder what became of the moose shoo doo doo... Perhaps you could save some of *that* for your neighbor on some warm summer day...

:) I love mooses... and hippos... and even hippopotamooses...

You may call me Your Majesty. In fact, I insist. said...

My heart doesn't work anymore either. I love the accompnaying picture. Thank you for visiting my blog. I had good intentions to blog often but it turns out I haven't.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Majesty))~ I dont find the time or the umpt of late to blob much, Im surprised anyone still comes here lol...xxxx