I KNOW What I Saw... So Shut It :)

Ok...... well, I suppose I should say happy valentines day to ya.... so, happy valentines day...



If you need a heart today, then take mine..... it dont work no more so you might as well make use of it LOL

Anyone that has been reading the weather news of late will know what fickle weather we have here in Jolly Old Blighty..... we are famous for moaning about the weather, well, actually, I dont, cos no amount of moaning is gonna change it LOL.... but to many Brits it is always a topic of conversation..... dont know what to talk about, then talk about the weather... thats how most think over here....

Well, a fortnight ago we was issued an extreme weather warning down here in the South of England.... and bugger me, we woke up Monday morning to SNOW everywhere, pure white crisp wellabit proper SNOW.... usually I would be as happy as larry about having snow, but cos of me dodgy knee, I was a little bit scared, and the thought of venturing out to take nippers to school was making me apprehensive....I rang me matie and said if I went over I would ring her and just lay there cos there is no way I would be able to get up LOL... she was laffing and saying that she wouldnt be able to help cos she would be wetting herself laffing..... now, thats not nice is it lol.... BUT, not to worry, after a few phone calls it was found that the schools in the village were shut......bloody shut cos of a little bit of snow LOL..... actually it was found that most of England has shut down cos of the snow....... it was the worst snowfall here in 18 years..... wooooo hooooooooo our country was in turmoil LOL...... ok, well down in the South the snow only lasted 2 days and then it had all disappeared lol

I did have to smile though thinking about me maties in the States and the snow they were experiencing there lol, Britain gets a few inches and we come to a stand still.....well I didnt mind, cos it means if the village schools are closed then I get extra work and extra work equals loads of extra dosh LOL

Anyway.... I turned the heating up higher so the house was all nice and snug and warm for nippers arriving....... and I hobbled down the garden to let me chickens out.... which in itself was funny cos they just stood in the coop looking out, daring each other to go first, so I walked back up the garden making that stupid clucking noise that chicken lovers make and they all followed me up the path and to me house, they carried on following me in the back door and right up to me fridge and stood there looking up at me..... so, seeing as it was cold and nippy I let them have some left over rice that was in the fridge and a couple of slices of ham for their breakfast then I shooed them back out the door......

I stood on me back step with eyes as huge as saucers......... oh my, oh my.... there was something wonderful in my garden..... something that to me was the most wonderful thing I could of seen......I shouted to my Jacob to come see, I shouted right proper loud...... JACOB COME QUICK COME AND SEE, OH JEBUS QUICK QUICK....

To my surprise me twat neighbour heard me shouting and hollered over the fence 'ARE YOU ALRIGHT OVER THERE'........yes, I shouted back, but, my goodness you should see whats in me garden....WHAT? he shouted..... I said, you wont have them in your garden cos my garden is more special LOL........ by now I was giggling..... I could hear him scurrying around and what sounded like a chair being dragged into his garden..... the nosey git was only gonna climb on a chair and look over the fence......

By now Jacob had come running down the stairs and was standing behind me looking out into the snowy garden......

Oh Jacob, just look, isn't it wonderful, isn't it just the bestest surprise to see them in our garden....... I turned around and saw the look on his face, a look of surprise that was for sure..... then I saw me twat neighbours little ugly puffy face peer over the fence..... What is it, he said........ look I said in the garden just past the garden table........ where? he replied........ I said, first there was one on its own and then more arrived........ what? he said, what you talking about?..... there I pointed, dont make a noise or you will scare them away....... I saw his head get higher over the fence, he must of been standing on tiptoe to get a better look.....

What? he said, I cant see anything.....gawds sake I say, there near the borders...... Jacob by now was giggling behind me.... I replied, first, when I let the chickens out this morning, when I walked back up the garden I could only see the one visitor and then within a few minutes more arrived until what must be the whole herd.....

Now me twat neighbour was staring straight at ME with that frowning look he often uses when talking to me...... then he looked back in me garden and muttered......... I dont know why I bother with you, I really think you are mad, how many times do I have to fall for your nonsense.......WHAT? I cry....... cant you see them.... look closely and you will see one on its own down the garden and 3 or 4 others just there by the deleafed fushia......

This is what was in me garden that snowy morning a fortnight ago....



Mel, those are NOT real he said........ of course they are real I said.... Ive seen a real moose in America when me matie Sharkie took us to this reserve place, so I KNOW what a moose looks like....

Mel, is there something wrong with you?.... those are NOT real mooses... I really think they should lock you up, I could of broken me neck if I had fallen off this chair..... well, I says, you shouldnt be such a nosey git then.... and they ARE real if you believe in them......... with that he clambered down and disappeared out of sight, but I could still hear him muttering....... I CAN HEAR YOU I SHOUT.... crazy he shouts back..... I turn to Jacob, you can see them cant you....... by now he was in fits of laughter and tears were rolling down his face.....

Here is the rest of the herd.....



I know to the untrained eye this herd of moose might look like a collection of little plastic mooses, and the one near the front on the right might look like the nodding moose that was found in the cereal box a few years ago, and the one at the back on the left might look like the moose that Family Phil's nippers sent me months back.... but they aint, that was a real herd of mooses in me garden a fortnight ago.......

I KNOW what I saw, I love mooses more then anything..... and these really were in me garden..... I DONT care what me twat neighbour thinks.....

Jacob whispered, do you think he thinks your mad mum..... I aint bovvered what he thinks Jacob I said..... I know what I saw *wink wink* with that he burst out laffing LOL

But, also look at this, we WILL get me neighbour back for saying Im mad..... we have a secret weapon, and come the summer when he is sitting in the garden having a nice cold beer in the sunshine..... our secret weapon will come into play..... and we will get the last laff......



Yep, dont get mad, get even, we have saved a SNOWBALL in the freezer and we are saving it for me twat neighbour in the summer LMFAO..... he who mocketh me will me smiling out of the other side of his snowball splattered face come the summer......

More then enough Twaddle for a dark Saturday evening....

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