I Know, I Know But A Bit Of Fear Is Good For The Soul....

Ok....... So its halloween..... we love halloween in this house....... obviously, now me lads are older things have changed....... but we still love it...... when they was all much younger I use to hold the most amazing halloween party for about 30 kids each year, all with homemade goodies and stickie ickie creations...... it became quite the social event in October around here lol.......

And then I met me matie Mary, who had come to live in the village....... Mary was a bloody doodle from Florida and we hit it off instantly.... it was as if we had known each other all our lives........ she came to live in this village with her english hubby....... she had met him whilst he was working out in the states and she fell in love with him and moved half way across the world to be with him.......sigh.... it was such a fairytale story, it makes me so smile to think of them both....... they had 2 nippers, one was my Sams age and she was to become one of Sams bestest maties..... they was inseperatable.... and one was a boy who was my Jacobs age.... he was a couple of quid short of a 10 bob note though.....

Well, cos Mary was a doodle she bought over with her the most amazing halloween decorations, the likes of which we aint never seen over here before......ya see, besides the party I gave every year, no one else around here would 'do' halloween..... but between us me and Mary started the whole halloween movement in this village LMFAO...... thats one of me only claims to fame :)

Mary moved back to America about 3 years ago with her family, I had been her matie for 13 years, they sold their mortgaged house here, paid off the mortgage, moved to Melbourne in Florida, bought a house cash and started a new life debt free there....... she said it was a good place to raise her kids, and all here family where there, and they didnt have any family here........

I miss Mary so very much, more then I miss mad Moira.....

Anyways, thats going WAY way off track....... see how I just waffle off on a different track LOL........

So..... this morning I had 7 nippers here before school....... and most Ive had for years, except this one newish girl that Ive only had for a few months.... and as yet aint quite got use to me sick sense of humour (but she will) lol



Ok... what does this photo have to do with halloween lol...... well just be patient.....see the girl on the right...... well NOTE THE LOOK ON HER FACE lol

So..... cos my lads are all older now we dont go overboard on the decorations..... they now tend to do their own things with their maties on halloween evening..... BUT we do have this coffin that lives under me bed and has for the last 6 or so years..... so I dragged it down the stairs this morning before the nippers arrived and hung some decorations and lights up around the house.......... the coffin was made years ago out of a hoover box lol and it holds a skeleton......called George......



Here is George lol

Well the coffin was in the lounge with the lid down this morning and when all the nippers had arrived we went into the lounge to turn on the halloween lights......

So.... says the little girl on the right of the top picture.... whats in the box.... she is 6.... mattie who is almost 7 says...... thats George I remember him from last year...... who is George the squinny girl asks.....(I love her really :))...

Mattie just looks at me as if to say, you take over lol

Oh, I say...... dont you remember George..... George was the little boy I use to childmind a few years ago........ blank look on the girls face..... Mattie looks at me and smiles (this boy is one touch cookie and has the most deep well rough voice on a 6 year old one could imagine lol)...... but thats a skeleton the squinny girl says........oh, let me explain I say....... by now all the nippers were sat on the sofa in dead silence LMFAO....... George use to come to me early every morning but George always refused to eat his breakfast....... and when it was breakfast time and everyone else would sit at the table, George would hide in the big toy box..... but one day we forgot about George in the box and he was in there for a week, and when we finally remembered where George was hiding.........well, all that was left of him was a skeleton....... so he now lives in that coffin and just comes out to see us on halloween........ with that Mattie picks the dam skeleton up and shakes and it howls LMFAO......and then goes on to say...... and ya know them bones and skulls in the kitchen....... they are other minded kids that disappeared........ of course the boys were all giggling....... BUT.....

OH MY BLOODY HELL.......... the girl has a right proper hissy fit LMFAO......... she screamed and screamed and screamed LMFAO....... hence the tearstained face in the above photo, when they had got their coats on ready for school........

But. I'll tell ya what..... everyone ate their breakfast this morning LOL

I never explained that the story was just made up...... cos a little bit of fear keeps them on their toes, right? LOL

This will be me tonight......



How dare sweet little cute trick or treaters knock on ME DOOR lol...... I crouch down real low and fling the door open and leap out into the dark (we have no street lights in our lane) and scream.... 'WHAT DO YOU WANT' and then I scream...... and all the cute little trick and treaters SCREAM and cripes last year some even cried well proper lol...... I then try and grab their goodie bags whilst saying......give me your trick or treat bags LOL then I go back inside and close the door LMFAO...... I wait a minute to hear the crying stop and the parents try to calm them down and I then open the door with a monster plate of scrummies LOL......

Well, fancy taking ya little ones trick or treating and not expect to be SCARED POOPLESS lol

Bloody kids nowadays are right proper sissys :)......

I dont care that you think Im mean and nasty and wicked and I dont care...... does it look like Im bovvered......

HAPPY HALLOWEEN......... Twaddlers......

x

Spot The Difference..... or NOT ...

Ok.......... Well its been a while, but Ive been so very busy with 'stuff'....... and this week the schools are off for half term..... I was gonna have this week off cos me work load was minimal and I could of farmed out Sprite and Jon and let someone else earn a bit of extra cash...... BUT..... cos I left it to late to bugger off somewhere on me own, I decided to say sod what the doctor ordered and work AND take on extra nippers lol....... well, ya see, if I had taken the week off and just bummed around home there is NO WAY I would of rested, there is always so much to do here, so it would of been pointless, I might as well rake in the extra dosh......

So except for Monday, which I couldnt work cos of circumstances beyond me control, I have worked me fat arse off all week with loads of 'needing to be entertained, fed, educated, bake with, change nappies, shove in and out of the car' nippers..... half terms are often hard cos of the overload of nippers needing holiday cover..... oh well, its me job, I cant help it if I do a grand job of it......

But it has been difficult dragging me knackered backside out of bed in the mornings when its still dark LOL...... and besides the nippers, I have run my Sam and Jacob around all over the place, cos after all, it IS their half term fun time to....... MMMMmmmmmmm wondering when my fun time will be again LOL

Anyways....... twaddling here as per usual...... so, on Tuesday, I shuffled down the stairs at 6.15 cos I knew that Sprite and Jon would be coming at 6.30, cos their dad needed to do extra overtime to be able to pay me the extra childcare LMFAO..... funny right? - So there I am in the kitchen when I thinks, its gonna be a busy busy day and after having not worked on Monday I would be rushing around organising stuff...

So, Im standing in me kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil so I can have me first cuppa char in the morning - I cant begin to wake up until I have me first cuppa :)...... when I thinks...... ok, today will be rushing around, so that could equal hot and sweaty LOL...... so I reach under the sink to find the roll on deodorant, cos I couldnt be arsed to climb back up the stairs to the bathroom...... and in the dim light of the kichen - just one side light on - I lift me shirt and quickly applied me deordant in a hurry as I can hear Sprite and Jon and their dad making there way around the back of me house - yes, parents have to use the 'tradesmans entrance' LMFAO... ok its just the back door, but it saves all the muddy feet walking through the house...... cos we dont have a hallway.......

So hopping on one leg with me shirt up trying to be quick I roll and rub the stuff on and then shove it on the kitchen draining board to put away when the kids are in .......

Now........ I wonder if this is why I disappeared for a week, and it had nuffin to do with being so bloody busy etc.....



Can you spot the difference........

Yep, thats right, what a bleedin dinlo...... I grabbed the VARNISH clothes stain remover thing and rubbed it all over me hairy armpits LOL....... now if only it would of worked then I wouldnt of had to of shaved this week......

Thats what happens when ya dont get enough sleep and ya up at the crack of dawn in the dark fumbling around in the cupboard under the sink.....

There is no bloody hope.... IM DOOMED...... one day me knight will come LOL

Ok, enuff Twaddle for a Friday

Be good...... X

I Have Fairies In The Middle Of Me Garden......

Ok........ I think I have fairies in the middle of me garden..... cos this morning in the rain I spied this.......



It stopped me in me tracks as I hobbled down the garden early this morning to let Janet out...... I LOVE Toadstools.... so love em.... its growing out of the stump where me old apple tree use to be..... remember this post...

here

It was the most beautiful little toadstool...... just growing there all on its own...... I so attached meself with it lol....... the lonely little toadstool growing where nothing else would......

Anyways, if ya have been a blob reader of mine for a while you will probably know that me head overflows with shelves and shelves of memories all stacked high, but it sometimes takes a jog or a nudge or a vision or even a single word, to make me mind unscramble a memory...... and as I bent to take the photo of this little lonely toadstool I had this memory flash into me head.....

I was a bout 8ish or 9ish.... I was a right proper Tomboy, well we use to live on this well rough council estate But at the bottom of our close, we at least had this stream and a long long strip of wide waste land...... if you can imagine a capital letter E, the long part of the E was the wasteground and the little arms of the E was our close(street) and the closes(streets) next to ours and the next one.... all in a straight line and backing onto this wasteground with the stream and the most wonderful tall oak trees along the stream...... so to me as a kid this wasteground and stream and trees was my heaven, was my haven, was my place of retreat, was my safety ..... I would spend hours and hours in the stream and making dens in the tall tall stinging nettles and grasses that grew there..... we called it 'The Dumps' but it was not a dumping ground for rubbish, it was a dumping ground for all us kids from the council estate..... we would have fights against our close(street) and the close next to us, our close was a unit and we sometimes acted as one..... its hard to explain lol......

We would make up competitions with the kids from the other closes(streets) that backed onto the Dumps..... ya know, daft things like, who could swing across the stream on the rope swing and jump off and try and land on the bank on the other side....... which close(street) could build the bestest dam to stop the water in the stream, and who could catch the most StickleBacks(tiny steam fishes) in jamjars...... and who had the guts to swallow one alive.... yep that was me LOL..... who would squeeze through the overflow pipe that was just wide enough for a childs skinny body and crawl along and come out the other side of the main road..... yep that was me...... I did get stuck once and the firebrigade had to come and extract me LOL...... I didnt tell them me name or me parents would of skinned me alive lol

Those were the times of childhood that I hold so dear, those days - cos at weekends I would go down the dumps from the minute I got up until it got dark, and never went home for dinner, and in those days, no parent gave a dam where I was.... those are the precious times when I was free and knew that at least during those hours there would be no beatings, no punishments.... unless..... god forbid I got me shoes wet in the stream, so most of the time I would take off me shoes and socks and just run barefoot all day, and hide me shoes and socks under Kenny Marshes hedge LOL..... maybe now thats why I love not wearing shoes and only wear them when I REALLY have to......

Anyways, sorry, going off track here LOL.......... so the toadstools...... when a new kid came to live in one of the closes there would be an iniitiation thing...... where they had to 'do something' to be able to be in the group.......LOL....... I remember I wanted to change groups once and I had to sit in a chair down the dumps that had been covered in stinging nettles in just me shorts and t-shirt LOL..... well I remember when E and G Fewwings moved to number 9 - there was only 12 houses in our close(street) after a few months they wanted to join in with stuff down the dumps....... so M Bennyworth told them that they had to eat a bowl of toadstools....... JEBUS...... I remember then thinking and knowing that Toadstools are poison and could kill, but no matter how many times I spoke up they took no notice....... I remember telling the 2 boys NOT to eat the toadstools and that they could just hang with me down the dumps..... but, no, they wanted so desparately to be part of the crowd..... whereas me, it didnt make no odds....

I remember Gary started crying cos he said he didnt wanna die....... jebus, this is so very clear in me head :(....... I remember him saying that his mum and dad would miss him LOL...... jebus, even now I remember thinking how lucky he was to even think that.... and how sad if he died cos Martin had made him eat toadstools just to be part of a group........

So...... I volunteered to eat the Toadstools for him AND his brother, cos I remember thinking that no one would miss me, so it wouldnt matter, and if Eric and Gary so desparately wanted to be part of the group, then they needed it more then me......

So....... I ate the bowl of mixed toadstools dirt and all lol..... there must of been about 20..... I remember everyone standing there waiting for me to drop dead LOL....... but I didnt...... well not there and then lol....... this was one Saturday morning..... but I remember within a few hours not feeling very well and having the squirts and me eyes going strange ..... and I remember walking to Kenny Marshs house and getting me shoes and socks from under the hedge and seeing his mum cos I was to scared to go home...... I remember an ambulance coming and being taken to hospital........ I remember me stomach being pumped and spending 2 days in ICU lol....... I remember not wanting to live cos I knew I would have to face me parents when I went home...... I remember Mrs Marsh coming to the hospital to take me home..... and.... I remember the thrashing of a lifetime I got from me dad and then me mum when me dad went to work...... not a love thrashing cos they was glad I didnt die, but a thrashing with a belt for making fools of them and embarrassing them....... lol...... and I remember having the week off of school cos of being in hospital and eating the Toadstools and then a fortnight off of school cos of the thrashing, and having to tell everyone that I was still poorly from having eaten the toadstools, I even remember me teacher coming to visit and me desparately wanting to tell her why I was not at school.......

So........... I have fairies at the bottom of me garden and memories stacked on the shelves of me mind...... maybe it was those fairies that looked out for me that time.... who knows..... maybe it was just me stubborn will to survive childhood and life.....

OK, spilled way to much Twaddle for a wet Tuesday.....

x

Shaking In Me Boots and Bits and Bobs......

Ok............ Sorry I aint been around, cripes its been a whole week since I last Twaddled.......

I had a bit of a tumble down the stairs on Tuesday evening and thought I had broken me hip LOL..... that would of been just me luck, what with me bloody gimpy knee, which did suffer a bit of a knock in the same fall..... but I think all is well.... :).... lets hope anyways.... I say this whilst dragging meself across the floor in a commando style crawl cos I cant stand up LOL..... just kidding..... (ps... me Doctor advised a trip to hospital for Xray... like I have time for that lol - I will see if the pain disappears in a few more days first)...


This landed in me inbox on Tuesday...... oh bugger, maybe the wishes in this annoyingmouse email had force, and maybe whomever sent it has some sort of magical powers....... should I be 'Shaking In Me Boots' LMFAO.....


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Hoovers And A LoveBird Named Bones Dont Mix..........":

This is disgusting. I hope something horrible happens to you so I can have a good laugh at your fortunate demise.

Posted by Anonymous to TWADDLE everyday rubbish at 09 October 2007 20:52

It was all over this post.....

here

Ya just have to laff, especially when whomever it is aint got the guts to post as themselves, but then I suppose postings from a mental institute are regulated...... *shrugg lol


Ya know when I was in Maine during the summer..... ok ok how could you forget..... well whilst there I bought this, what to me, was the most wonderful stone bowl, with a stencil of a red lobster on it, it was purchased for a few reasons, one was in honour of Larry the lobster I couldnt save and had to eat, and one was cos I LOVE stone bowls, and another cos I love buying things that are actually made where I am at the time and not in China :)...... so the bowl was very special to me, it was to be a lifetime bowl, a bowl that everytime I looked at it and used it, it would nudge wonderful memories of me time in Maine.....

Well, last night I had it on the side with some meat in it defrosting from the freezer, and I forgot to put it in the fridge before I buggered off to bed, and the stray cat that has moved in with us again for the winter, long story, must of investigated the lamb fillets defrosting and he knocked the 'Larry Bowl' off the side onto me stone floor and when I got up this morning the bowl was smashed into hundreds of bits :(.... I was so very sad this morning...... I hope it aint a sign....



RIP Larry Bowl...... I loved you and will miss you........ but it means I will have to go back to Maine and replace ya ;)...


Last week was an expensive week, I had to buy (ordered and have to wait 3 weeks) a new tumble drier, cos my Tom burnt the motor out of me other one (which was only 18 months old) by putting soaking dripping wet jeans and a towel in it and turning it on for 2 hours....... YA CANT PUT DRIPPING stuff in a tumble drier ya bloody divvy dinlo..... so that was an expensive mistake, but he did give me $250 towards it which was half the cost....

I also had to get a new microwave, cos the other one was sparking and Im sure its not suppose to do that, even though the effect was great to watch.......



My Jacob and Sam had great fun though, they plugged the old microwave into the extension lead and put it in the garden and put all different sorts of things in it to zap...... they blow up eggs in their shells..... sorry Janet.... and they put forks and foil and tins of beans unopened in it lol...... I know, I know, sort of dangerous, but, hey, sometimes ya just have to experiment..... I did, pull the ropes of them stuffing the Twat neighbour in there and zapping him, see, Im all heart ;)... maybe annoyingmouse would like a turn on the turntable LOL..


I also had to buy a new mobile phone, remember I broke mine whilst in Maine and its been over a month now since I had one, I dont actually use it much but I NEED one so that parents of me minded nippers always have access to me, and for emergencies..... I loved me old phone, and it had such a loud ring which I need and it use to flash all different colours when it rang.......but alas it was 2 years old so I couldnt find one the same.....

But you should of seen it blow up in the microwave LMFAO...... :) just another experiment lol

My lads have well good new fangled phones that sing and dance and have blue teeth or something, but I dont need all that, I just need one that makes and receives phone calls and one that can text and its fun to have a camera on board....... so I just bought a Sony Ericsson Z310i in bright red :) - everyone says its pink BUT IT AINT cos I DONT do pink..... anyways I loves me new phone..... I still dont know all the things it can do though and I still cant get use to the different ringtone...... and it DOES have blueteeth LMFAO.....



Its soooooo tiny compared to me other phone, I wonder how long before I lose it lol...



Look, it even has one of those flippy up lids :)..... its well posh compared with me old one.....

So last week was a tad expensive, and I aint made of bloody money ya know......

Anyways, that was part of me week....... to much Twaddle right?

x

Why Oh Why Cant I Just Have A 'Normal' Day....

Ok........ What you have to know about me is that I dont really like shopping as such... not unless its for special pressies for friends or things for me lads.... I so DONT like grocery shopping, and mostly I do it on line and the blokie comes out in his van and delivers it for me, and now he even carries it through into me kitchen LMFAO..... and it only cost like $10 ... thats well cheap for someone to do ya shopping and deliver it for ya......

But I do have to still go out and get the fresh fruit and veggies and bread etc.... so I tend to drag a matie along with me, that way we get to have such a laff... and jebus, do we laff.....

So, Tuesday, after dropping off 6 at school which leaves me with 3, I rings me bestest matie Sharon and says 'Im going to Sainsburys, do ya wanna come'..... now what you have to know is that Sainsburys is a LOVELY grocery shop, as far as grocery shops go that is..... and its quite a treat..... so even though its half way into town its a nice trip out..... sure she says..... we both like Sainsburys, so with 6 under 3s in tow we shove everyone in me car and head off......

We hadnt even got out of the village, nay, not even past the White Hart Pub, or the village green...... WHEN IT HAPPENED.......jebus lordy, just one NORMAL day would be such a gift from you..... ...

As we turned into Forest Road, I saw it, I almost ran it over...... a black bunny rabbit came hopping out of someones drive and almost under the wheels of me car, so I do this emergency stop LMFAO..... it was a great test to see if all the baby seats were actually in the car proper LOL.... and me matie even though she was seat belted in, she shot forward and the drink she was holding went flying LOL....... yep, I can still stop on a tanner LOL



What the hell, she says....... then she spots what I had spotted....... a little black bunny, which now had run back onto the pavement and was disappearing into someones gateway..... so I pulls me car over to the side of the road and we both look at each other...... and I says...... well, we cant just leave it here, next time it wont be so lucky with someones driving and it will get run over, can you live with that, what if when we come back its splattered all over Forest Road...... now this is the matie that was with me the day we did the roadkill photos lol.... she replied..... WE have to go and get groceries and we HAVE to be back by 12 for pre-school pickup....we DONT have time for this....... to which I replied....... you murderer LOL.... she just rolled her eyes at me and I said..... remember Larry the Lobster in Maine that I told you about...... yes she replied(giggling).... well, I said, he was not so lucky....... but this bunny has us....... NOW GET OUT THE BLOODY CAR AND HELP ME CATCH IT LMFAO......

Out we get, and stand at the gate of the garden it had disappeared into.....it was on the front lawn munching on the grass..... well, you know what, that bunny just didnt wanna be caught LMFAO..... we chased/hobbled around this persons garden trying to get it, Im sure it was smurking at us.... once I got well close and squatted down within feet of it and Sharon said 'rugby tackle it' so I leapt full length across the grass LOL but it just hopped away ...... by now there are about 7 people standing at the gate watching me and me matie run amoke in this persons garden...... I did have the sense to knock on the door first to see if anyone was in lol...... we climbed through shrubs and over flower beds chasing the dam thing... didnt it know that its life was in our hands, and that we was only trying to rescue it from certain death.....

After about 15 minutes, now wet cos the grass was wet and muddy cos of the rugby tackles lol the people begin to drift off, thank goodness..... I decided to knock on the houses either side of the house where the bunny was...... the bloke in the house on the left said that the rabbit actually belonged to the people in the house on the right of where we was running amoke..... so I knocked on there, and there was no reply..... so back to trying to catch the dam thing..... what we was gonna do with it, we hadnt stopped to think....... Jebus we was laffing so hard.......

The little house where the bunny was hopping around was a lovely little house and quite posh...... so as I ran past the front window in pursuit I stopped and looked in the window LOL..... ok ok, I know I shouldnt of, but I was nosey...... it was well posh in there LOL...... so I says..... cripes Sharon this house is well fancy, and she comes and stands next to me, but, oh no, she cant just have a quick gander can she, no, she has to put her face right up to the glass and hands above her eyebrows she has a right proper stare in....... there is me thinking, I hope these people really are OUT and aint gonna come walking down the stairs into this room with nowt on but a smile LOL......

As we both stood staring in the window, all thoughts of the bunny gone lol..... we hear a car pull up behind mine and hear 2 doors slam..... bloody hell, I think, its probably the owners of the house LOL....... but oh no..... of course it cant be that dam simple can it..... OH NO it cant LOL........

I turn around trying to quickly think what the hell I am gonna say to these people, and I look at the garden and the flowers, some of which was a bit flattened..... Sharon is still peeping in the window LOL..... as TWO POLICEMEN stroll up the path LMFAO....... shit, I whisper..... its the fuzz..... Sharon jumps round thinking I was messing around, and sure enough there stood to coppers lol..... I was so tempted to say 'ello ello ello' .. but I just said...... oh my, fank goodness, you two can help us catch the bunny....

OK, says the short copper, completely ignoring my plea for help, please explain what you are doing on this property..... we have just got a report of 2 people..... presumeably you 2..... peering into windows of this property and doing some strange dance in the garden...... HOW I KEPT A STRAIGHT FACE I WILL NEVER KNOW....... oh I say, they aint in, we thought we could shimmie up the drainpipe and in the open bedroom window and load the car up with the telly and video and DVD player....... oh and dont forget the microwave and the kitchen sink, pipes up me matie....... DEAD SILENCE....... are you trying to be smart.... the tall copper says.... well ya just gotta laff I says.... do we look like robbers.... do robbers take 6 nippers with them when casing a joint... I DONT THINK SO......

By now the rabbit was nowhere to be seen, so as we are trying to explain what we really were doing in this persons garden, we had no evidence LOL.......after another 15 minutes pass I say..... look, if your going to arrest us then hurry up cos we have nappies to change, shopping to get, bunnys to save and kids to pick up at noon........

I still had me camera out and was gonna take the coppers photo when he asked me kindly NOT TO POINT 'THAT' AT HIM AND CERTAINLY THIS WAS NO LAFFING MATTER lol...... they eventually believe us and escourted us off the property with words of..... next time if you both see an imaginary bunny, just call the RSPCA....... bloody smartarses...... we was just trying to do the right thing..... we was just trying to save a little bunny....... I know we pushed it by staring through the front windows LOL......

Dam those people next door who had let their black bunny rabbit wander out into the road....... so as the coppers drove off, I told me matie that we should write a note and post it through their letterbox LMFAO..



This is a photo of the quickly scribbled note LOL....... as I was posting it through the letterbox the bloody coppers had driven around the village green and stopped again next to me car LMFAO........ I just smiled sweetly as I walked backed to me car, jumped in and we drove off......

See, ya try and do a good samaritan deed.... ya try and be good and honest and caring........ and where the hell does it get ya........ ALMOST ARRESTED lol....... well sod that bunny, next time I will make a stew out of him.....

Enuff Twaddle for a Friday..... off to school to pick up nippers.....

X

It Was An Accident - Dont Hate Me - Groyns And The Sins Of Ones Father...

Ok.......British nippers get a 5-6 weeks summer break from school, and usually everything else closes for that time to..... my Jacob's Scouts closes, except for the summer camp that is...... so just before everything stops for a break, our scout group usually have a BBQ down on the beach at Hayling Island.....

What you have to bare in mind when I tell you what happened is this..... my lad use to go to Friday Scouts..... but one of the blokes that runs is it a right pratt... he is well a 'jobs worth' and he use to treat the lads more like scivvies then lads there to learn and have fun, he was not only way to strict he was a control freak.... so after a year of this we decided to open another troop on a Wednesday night.... and many of the lads transferred over...the bloke from Fridays was so not happy lol........ tough tittie I say.... Wednesdays nights is all about fun and laughing and doing dangerous but controlled things LOL you know PROPER BOY THINGS......

But both Friday and Wednesday groups get together for the end of term BBQ cos after all we all belong to the same unit... and we would be camping together during the summer....

What you also have to remember when I tell this story is that the bloke from Fridays is married to one of me maties.... what the hell she sees in the jerk is beyond me....what you also have to remember is that I childmind their lad who is now 6 and I have since he was a little baby...... I LOVE this little lad to death...... he has aweful astma and eczema and a couple of times Ive been in a riskie life and death situation with him.....

So, we were given the time and date for the BBQ, I should of known from the outset that things would not go according to plan, but then, we are talking about me, and if you have learnt anything about me from me blob its that..... I aint normal LOL.....

OK, scene set.......

Hayling Island is great.... its reached by one road over the hayling bridge and it sticks out in the water opposite Portsmouth, which is just across the harbour..... I have great memories of hayling as a kid when we use to catch the little steam train called The Puffing Billy onto the island....... it has what we call 'groyns' sticking out into the water, they stop the beach from eroding and make great places to climb on as kids lol...... the sand and stones on either side of the groyns are different levels at the top end of the beach and the difference can sometimes be 5-6 feet..... they make great wind breaks to.... as on our BBQ night when the wind was blowing it was nice to be able to shelter on the lower side of the groyns....

There was a photo of the groyns at Hayling on me post about deciding to go on holiday.... here are a couple more.... I took these the night of the BBQ... see how the sky changed within minutes...





Aint they just great......

So we get there and I park.....



See, even me parking down the seafront aint normal, why oh why cant I just park like everyone else, in a straight line, all facing one way..... but no..... I have to just drive up, plonk me car anywhere and get out and lock the doors LOL - It should of been a sign of what was to come LOL - guess which car is mine :)

So, we all gather down on the beach and the BBQs are lit whilst the lads all go for a swim..... it was not a very warm evening and the nip in the wind was well cold lol..... so the lads were not in the water to long, you have to remember this is getting on for 9 o'clock at night...... so when they had dried off they was starving.....



See the little lad sitting on the edge of the groyns, the one in red with the blonde hair, thats the little lad that I mind who I love to death and would place me life on the line for..... shame his father is such a pratt LOL - but you can see the difference in the height of the stones either side of the groyns....

Well the pratt from Friday Scouts seemed to take over the BBQ cooking..... now, I aint no snob..... I mix with everyone..... no matter what anyones situation in life is...or what job they hold.. BUT..... I will just say that we have this little glop of 'parents' whos kids have just joined scouts, that I find very difficult to strike up a conversation with..... they turned up at the casual on the beach BBQ in clothes that were more intune with London Fashion week LMFAO.... so there was no way they was gonna get stuck in with the lads... there is me and me maties with just blankets on the sand, but on no, not them.... they had beach loungers and bloody tables and the works lol...... oh well they will live and learn if they are to become an intregral part of our group LOL.....



This is some of the lads waiting for the burgers to cook......

The friday night pratt blokie that was in charge of the cooking dont like my Jacob, cos he left his troop to join wednesdays.....and Jacob knew from last years camp that his cooking aint to great, so when my jacob got to the front of the burger queue he says to the pratt..... oh how long before the burgers are ready..... NOW was the reply... now if I have taught me lad anything it is that you cant eat burgers if they aint cooked all the way in the middle, not unless ya want the squirts for days.... so my Jacob says.... but you have only just put them on the BBQ, they surely aint cooked yet..... with that the bloke takes one off the grill and puts it in a bun and hands it to Jacob with words of 'oh just get on with it'.... so me lad walks over to me for inspection of his burger LOL...... oye Graham (not his real name to protect being sued lol) I says... this burger so aint cooked, what ya trying to do, kill wedsnesday night scouts off......so the bloke says...... well he will just have to wait at the end of the queue now and if there are any left then Jacob can have one...... so I says..... I DONT THINK SO GRAHAM...... hey Jacob go take this back and yet a cooked one.... with that the bloke all but throws a burger at my lad..... and it falls on the sand..... by now I could of headbutted the bloke lol.....

So I thought all is fair in love and war..... and Graham had so insensed me LOL...... now I aint really a violent person...... but this bloke so needed to be taken down a peg or to..... so I thought..... he was trying to kill my lad with a dodgy burger, so if I aimed it right, the burger that is, I could throw it well hard and it would hit him in the side of his head.... and all the tomatoe sauce would look like blood :)..... so me matie Jackie, who is actually a CID copper was giggling when I told here what I planned to do..... and she just said 'go for it' LOL.... I mean, everyone was sort of throwing things around by now, so no one would noice a flying uncooked burger in a bun.....

Oh my good grief.... talk about a great shot...... well it would of been..... if bloody Graham had not sidestepped to his right just as the burger was heading his way..... so instead of it hitting Graham in the side of his 'smug up his own arse head' it whistled past him and hit the little lad Mattie that I childmind..... smack right between the eyes...... GULP..... holy poo..... it all then went in slow motion...... he was sitting on the edge of the groyn with his feet dangling over the 5 foot drop...... he swayed and wobbled and then fell off the bloody groyn 5 foot down onto the sand and stones....... all in slow motion........ I THINK ME PLAN HAD GONE A TAD WRONG......... now you must understand cos of all of Matties health problems he could of been a right wimp, but his mum had made him one of the toughest little nippers I have ever come across...... she said he would need to be tough to overcome many of his problems....and Mattie never crys..... he is well ard.......

But cry he did..... he not only cried he HOWLED and screamed and no matter what was said he just wouldnt stop..........



I think it was more the shock of falling off the groyn more then the actual injury from the uncooked burger.... ok OK so he did have a bit of a tiny little red mark and bump on the side of his head due to hitting the stones from a great height....... but hey........The Sins of Our Fathers right?.......

He did eventually calm down and YES I did confess to throwing the burger and YES it was a learning curve..... I learnt that when throwing an uncooked burger at a pratt to make allowances for the fact that it could be a moving target :).....

Mattie did forgive me and me matie his mum did eventually find it funny...... BUT how great was I, I always have me camera at hand LMFAO

Mattie was proud of his 5 foot fall and apparently went around the rest of the summer telling everyone that Mel had lobbed a burger at him......... now you see why I needed to skip the country for a few weeks......

To calm you down just a few other photos of the evening.....



See them things in the air that look like kites, they are them wave kite surfers, hayling is a great place for water sports.......



It was time to go home after this photo lol

Dont Hate me..... and if you do..... does it look like Im bovvered.....cos, just sometimes in life, ya cant plan for the unexpected :)

Enuff Twaddle for a wet and damp Monday afternoon.... x