Now, I dont want no daft comments or whatevers over this post...... it was what it was....
What ya have to remember is that I dont 'do' my birthday... my birthday has never been 'done' from as far back as I can remember....... when I was a kid, me older brother's birthday was and still is just under a month earlier then mine...... the excitement that use to build a few weeks before me brother's birthday was immense, even though I knew what was to happen year in and year out...... ya see, he use to have the most lovely parties with jelly and icecream and fairy cakes and pass the parcel games and balloons and a birthday cake..... but it was his party and I was never allowed to be involved, I use to have to listen to the noise and laughter from me bedroom, where I was sent until the party had finished and the last of the children packed off home.....
And as crazy as this will sound, it didnt really bother me, cos it was what it was, I did use to plan in me head who would come to my party the following month and what cake I would like and I would imagine balloons everywhere..... but I knew that it would all stay in me head, cos when my birthday came around a month later, there was no party, no balloons and no friends laughing and playing party games....... I would get up on me birthday morning with hopeful dreams only to be told at breakfast year in and year out that I had not been good enough for a party or for presents for that matter LOL...... there would always be some excuse..... like..... school say you didnt get all your spellings right or Auntie Jean says that you hit Bobbie (me cousin) or or or or or lol always an excuse......
It was just another way of control, another way of punishing me for being me, a girl LOL..... ya would think that I would get upset and cry and scream and sob and beg..... but I didnt, cos I had learnt very early that 'that was how it was and there was no point in doing all the above' because that is what 'they' wanted.... and that is the only bit of control that I had...... NOT TO HAVE A REACTION about their actions.......
Anyways...... so you see me birthday has never meant much to me...... even when I was married my birthday was not really celebrated..... there was always some excuse by me X, especially when we had children..... like we cant afford a pressie cos the kids needed this or the house needed that or even the business in later years needed this that or the other.........
I remember HE did promise to book a hot-air balloon ride over the SouthDowns for me 40th...... something I had longed and always wanted to do........for months he kept saying....... you WILL have that balloon ride on your birthday....... it was the first time ever that I had been a little excited about me birthday........ but when me birthday came around, he bought me a CD Sterio LMFAO...... cos HE really wanted one to play HIS music on LOL....... he did not find it amusing when I stood in the box from the sterio and held a balloon in the air and said....... oh my..... this is amazing...... LOL he didnt speak to me for about a week LMFAO......and he called me ungrateful LMFAO
I do have one photo of me birthday when I was 35 with a cake that I had made meself LOL..... I must of had a rebelling moment lmfao
I use to make the most amazing fuss and make a huge deal out of me lads and HIS birthdays though and me maties...... and it truely really never really bothered me that there was no wishes of happieness or whatever on mine..... and Im being totally honest here.....
It was not until HE left that me lads started asking when me birthday was and for the first time I actually received little gifts from them all......
A 'Gloomie' friend had promised to take me on a cruise for me 50th... good job I didnt hold me breath aye? LOL.....
Anyways....... back to me birthday this year......
There is only one matie here that knows when me birthday is...... me matie Wendy.... me nut nurse friend, Sleddies mum whom I have been maties with for 12 or so years and whom all 4 of her kids in time I have minded..... and she always makes or buys me something to do with chickens or cats :)..... she turns up at my house every September, a week after her birthday, with a gift of love and every year she has me in tears.....
So this year was no different to me, even though a 50th birthday is suppose to be special, or so people say LOL..... I aint really sure, cos most of me maties are younger then me...... I knew Wendy would turn up after she finished work.... BUT...... the big mouth cow that she is, had told me other maties that it was me birthday..... so when I turned up at the school to pick up me minded nippers... I was met with flowers and little gifts and balloons...... LOL...... oh my...... oh my..... tears as Im typing this.... never have I had gas balloons or flowers on me birthday.... SO 'THIS' WAS THE FEELING OF LOVE AND CELEBRATION that people had felt for years on their birthdays......
Me matie Wendy had said that they had twisted her arm to get me birthday date from her, she knows how private I am about me birthday, even to me other best maties..... but she said there is no way that this special year was going unaddressed.....
So have a butchers at me flowers......and cards....and balloons..
Aint they pretty....... do you know what a lovely feeling it is to open birthday cards..... except for the cards this past few years from me lads, and 2 cards last year that a couple of doodle maties sent me...... I aint never had a 'pile' of cards to open before LOL..... daft right to be so excited at me bleedin age.... what a saddo and how pathetic to feel like a child on its birthday....... ok tears again typing this LMFAO.....
And me little gifts I will treasure for ever.... they was not huge expensive items from me maties..... they was little gifts picked and choosen with care and love with me especially in mind......
Like this from me matie Sharon...... I will treasure it always.....
Its beautiful, with little hand painted chickens all around....... I LOVE jugs with a passion..... I have many jugs and would fill my house with them if I could..... I have from well old antique ones to brand new ones, I use them in everyday life, with bunches of flowers to using them for gravy or milk or custard...... she also found the most funny lovely chicken dangling thing like a handpainted chicken windchime that I have hanging from the beam in me kitchen...
This little bone china mug was one of the gifts from me matie Wendy here, she has for the last 5 years always found me something to do with chickens...... see, even before Janet came into our lives last spring, chickens have always been a love of mine and me matie Wendy here has always known me so well LOL
I always try and make, any maties that I have, birthdays special, either with flowers delivered or by little special found 'things' for their birthdays...... now I 'know' that feeling of 'being thought of' on ones birthday..... it humbled me and made me realise all those years of childhood birthdays and married birthdays when I was never a thought..... how nasty the so called 'protectors' during my life had been..... just a card just a tiny little 'best wishes' ... thats all it takes to make someones life/birthday just a little special.....
Me lads went crazy and I was very moved...... my Tom bought me a new computer, which as yet is not internet connected...but will be in the next few weeks when we change internet servers.... but the most special gift my Tom gave me were his words.... he said 'mum this is for all the years you have put up with us and our ways and raised us on your own... I wish I could give you the past 10 years back' when I asked him why 10 years, he said...... 'because I saw how he treated you even before he left.... and if I could give you these past 10 years back just for you, then I would'..... holy shit...... tears or what......... my Ben bought me one of those special digital picture frames where ya put ya memory card in and all ya photos change every 30 seconds, oh my its wonderful, he knows how much I love me photos and my Sam and Jacob bought me CDs and made supper and did special things ......
So for the first time in me life at the ripe old age of 50...... I realised how special birthdays can be..... sighhhhhhh......
And do ya know....... that 2 weeks after me birthday...... a parcel arrived from the States........ it arrived a weekend when I was real low, a real reflective weekend, a weekend where I questioned my existance on this earth and what I was here for...... a parcel that made me smile and laff and again have tears LOL.....
It was from Shelly, me doodle matie from The Gumbies....... she had taken time and thought and had sent ME a birthday pressie..... not just a card..... but a bloody parcel filled with the most amazing gifts....... how did this friend know that every item in the parcel I would love LOVE LOVE... everything she sent had 'me' written all over it....... AND I WANT TO THANK HER ((((SHELLEY)))) from the bottom of me heart....... even the card, even the bloody card was sooooooo me lol
This is what arrived...... from Shelley, a friend that I have NEVER met, never even spoken to on the phone........... how amazing a person are you..... ( the country jug was a gift from Sharkie months back which I fill with flowers from the market most fridays)...
Everything was local to Shelley WHICH I LOVE... from a smoked salmon vaucmn packed from Seattle to huckleberry tea from her market to the most amazing cook book (which is another passion of mine - I love cookbooks from places I have been to OR from where maties live...... JBelle sent me the most amazing Spokane Cookbooks back in the spring which I adore too).... to blueberry chocolate covered sweeties, and local breakfast cereal YUMmmm.... and the most precious of gifts for me, found with love and thought...... MOOSE SHAPED PASTA lmfao...... oh how I love these little moose shapes and as yet I have not been able to cook and eat them....... cos I wanna keep them for ever LMFAO.......
I know the packet says Elk but they aint Elk they are MOOSES :)
SO (((((SHELLEY)))) fank you...... for making me smile for making me cry and making me feel special about me birthday, for the first time in me life....... fancy having a 'first in life' at the old age of 50 lol
So if you have read down this far, which I very much doubt...... I will tell ya in the week what I bought meself for me birthday LMFAO..... it arrived on me birthday morning...... diamonds you ask? NOPE..... gold? NOPE...... a day off? NOPE....... you will probably think Im a loon but I aint bovvered......
Enuff boring Twaddle for a bright sunny nippy Sunday Autumn afternoon......
x
27 comments:
I felt so sad reading the start of this post, bloody mad if you really want to know, winds me up if anyone treats children like you said.
Anyway you cheered me up you old cow when you went on to say how great your 50th was, Belated (((HUGS)))) for your speical day cos you are very speical........
You know what I love? I love that your boys have risen ABOVE their own childhood living with a man that wasn't nice to their mother. That they didn't follow HIS example but follow yours. All of the crappy birthdays don't even matter when you got 1 fantastic one and such great children.
On a side note - we don't do parties at all - I'm a lazy mom - so that way nobody expects anything. LOL Okay we do have cake and a friend over and all of that but I'm not renting out the local swimming pool.
how very sad that you never experienced a birthday till now. and how do you manage to make me laugh and cry at the same time?
you are amazing and you have 4 amazing sons
so glad you had a great 50th you deserved it and here is to many more x
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARMIE
for whenever your birthday was/is.
It's so sad that you had to wait until you were 50 to find out how lovely birthdays can be. May you have many more and have the gifts of love, caring and friendship showered on you. x
Happy Belated Birthday, Marmie. I hope you someone throws you a big party every year from now on.
Wow. It looks like 50 turned out pretty terrific. I'm glad it ended up that way. :)
I am so glad that you have such wonderful friends. There are few blessings more valuable than that.
Well spoken, all up above here, I agree!!
MT,
nice lookin boys ya got there!!! and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :D
hey, women are like fine wine....they get better with age!!!!!!! x
Happy late birthday. I turned fifty three years ago and I am enjoying this decade the most so far. I have come to terms with the fact that I should do what I want to do and not be concerned about others. Is that wisdom or getting older? lol. I love your pitchers. Just beautiful.
Wonderful! I loved reading all of this! And if I was there, I would have baked you a German Chocolate Cake. I'll post the recipe!
well, i would have known when your bday was if SOMEONE had told me. i know it's in september, right? lol i'm glad that your 50th was special...isn't it amazing what having good friends can do? i've always hated how some parents would favor one sex over the other.
your lads are really lovely. you should be proud. you've raised them well, and they knew what NOT to act like by their arse of a father. what fab presents they got you, too!
I'm also loving the fact that your boys have become so darned beautifully mature with such a cruddy male role model that they celebrate your birthday and show you such honor & love & respect. You've raised some incredible kids, Toasty!
And a very belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It's simply NOT right that a child's birth should not be celebrated, but seeing what you've said about your parents in the past, I'm not terribly suprised to read this. I AM sorry though, damnit, because you're a special beautiful woman who deserves to be reminded how special she is, and it should have been happening from the time you were born instead of your having to wait till you're 50. You have a great attitude about it all, though, and you haven't let it color your spectacular view of the world negatively.
And 50 being the milestone that it is, I'm glad to hear that the word got out and your birthday got celebrated the way it should.
(((((HUGS))))) And (again) belated Birthday Blessings. I hope the coming year is full of love, light, and laughter for you. May all your tears be tears of joy.
Happy Birthday. You are amazing.
Did you remember that you and my mum share the same birthday date.. BUTTON IT! I didn't .. DID NOT.. say the same year... flippin' eck.. ROFLMAO
Oh.. and about the hot air balloon thing.. didn't we say that we were going to do that, in a Wombles type balloon, with the Union Jack.. or was the last bit about the Wombles just me? And weren't we gonna shave our heads when we did it?
:o)
It is a very good thing not to hold your breath for anything in this life for death would become you post haste with such action.
You had a wonderful birthday and you deserved it. All it took was breathing. Not so easy at times but oh so necessary.
A toast: to air.
--
~((((queenie))))~ :) - Childhood was what it was - Im bloody old now lol starting the last part of me life....xxxx
~((((MnM))))~ well me lads DO have their moments where I wouild throttle em.... I DID/DO parties for me lads, cos I think I didnt have them, we have had some of the best parties at home here... and in the woods and on the beach, ya DONT have to fall into the 'up with the jones' parties...... they become all the same after a while :)....xxxx
~(((her indoors)))~ ya not suppose to cry ya dinlo LOL - if I can make it to 60 and see all me lads independant, then that will be fine by me.... xxxx
~(((ake)))~ cripes, I just couldnt believe the feeling one can get from birthdays.... it certainly was a first for me :)....xxxx
~(((((betty)))))~ hello you :)..... well, dont know about a party but I sure LOVED receiving birthday cards :).....xxxx
~((((hammer))))~ well at first I was well embarrassed lol ya see, Im usually the giver never the receiver.... but the loving feeling soon overtook the embarrassment.....xxxx
~((((jen)))))~ friends are what keep me alive.....xxxx
~((((his girl friday)))~ I'll remember that when I have to tuck me boobs in me socks LMFAO....xxxx
~(((InlandEmpireGirl)))~ I do love that feeling of 'I dont give a toss what most think' well most of the time LOL.... I have a lot of planning this coming year, time to maybe start a new life, a new challenge....xxxx
~(((((JBelle))))~ wondering how a German Chocolate Cake will fair in the post LMFAO....... do you know, that when my Tom was 18 he came in about 11ish on the night before me birthday.... he sort of hung around like a bad smell, and he was still up when I went to bed at about 12.30....... little did I know, or I would of gone to bed real early COS...... he stayed up and baked me a cake for me birthday..... he had NEVER cooked anything in his life before lol.... and he went through me cookbooks and found a recipe and stayed up til gone 3 in the morning trying to make and bake this cake and to decorate the kitchen with balloons.... it was his gift to me..... way way better then any pressie he could of bought me.... it looked like something the cat had dragged in LOL but it tasted well lovely.... and it was filled with love :).....xxxxxxxxx
~(((((ciara anyones for a large stretchie balloon))))~ well, sometimes one has to just accept thats how it was :)....... and believe me, me lads DO have their moments :).... but, all in all, they are a wonderful bunch of little tossers LOL........xxxxxx
~((((kati))))))~ to be honest HE was not around much, so it feels like Ive been raising them meself all their lives...... I am very proud of them, well most of the time LOL....xxxxxxx
ps.... I aint special or nowt, I am just me... and believe me, I to have me moments LMFAO...
~((((grace))))~ hello you, and welcome, where did you come from? lol....... fank you, but Im not, not really, Im just Mel :)....xxxx
~(((((peanut))))~ dam, and I went to Maine instead.... bugger, we could of been bald and beautiful.... its still a dream of mine.. not the head shaving you understand but the hotair balloon ride.... maybe when Im 60 as me last treat before I die :)....xxxxxxxxx
~(((((Wendy))))))~ Cheers to air aye..... when I hear words at a funeral or when someone dies 'how did they die' I ALWAYS want to pipe in with 'a shortage of breath' :).....
There was more flowers in me kitchen then what I took photos off, me house looked like a bleedin morgue LMFAO...... love you xxxxxxxxx
I wish you lived next door- I'd have given you a big birthday party- cake, ice cream, guests, gifts, pizza and wings...
I felt so bad reading about your childhood non-birthdays- how can people be like that to kids? I'm sure glad though that you had a nice birthday this year. It sounds like you have wonderful sons!
Happy, Happy ,Happy Birthday from me to you, even though it's a few days late!
Such a touching story and what a strong-willed young girl you were, Toasty!
You really do deserve many more 50-like birthdays to come!
YOU are amazing xxxxxxx You touch everyone and the number of peeps who congregate here show what a fabby person you are!
50 !!!!! OMG ... wouldn't have put you a day over 21 ( was gonna write 70 .. but thought I might get a swipe round the head!)
Looks like your birthday was great and well deserved too. Your lads are lucky to have a mum like you and rewarded you greatly :o)
Belated birthday wishes to ya xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hippy barfday.
That package from Shelley looks to be all kinds of goodness,I recognized the Salmon box, all the gift stores sells them here in Seattle.
ugh, don't remind me....but I suppose the colour of the socks will make all the difference for the fashion sensible!!! :/ :))
Good to meet you and I'm so sorry you had such a vile 10 years before He left. Friends are so imoprtant but I'm like ou on birthdays - it's my 50th next year and all my family and friends want a Big do adn I don't!
Jesus Christ! I don't even know you, and I want to buy you a present and make you a card and take you out for dinner.
That was such a sad, yet lovely post. I started reading it feeling awful, and ended up with a smile on my face. I hope you have MANY more birthdays where you feel special. Because you should. x
All I know is that you is special :o (not the helmet special)
Hugs from the Canadian North...
BTW Ol Man is back from hunting and there are 2 less moose in the bush and no room in me freezer (just thought you might want to know)
~((((cindy))))~ welcome, geez and fanks, hoping you move next door to me soon lol....... I didnt want anyone to be sad with this post, it was such a positive post..... this was a one off special birthday :) next year it will be back to normal, and that to is fine :)....... fanks for popping over.....x
~((((lena)))))~ :) some call it stubborn and boneheaded LOL.... I called it moralistic and knowing right from wrong with no teacher to guide me lol....xxxx
~((((Scottie))))) Nah, ya have it wrong, Im just me... :)
yep, Im almost old enough to be ya muvver LMFAO.... NOT... ya didnt know ya was posting on an 'old hags' blob didya ;)..... xxxxxx
~((((michael)))~ welcome :)..... it was the most special of gifts from Shelley.... so very special.... fanks for popping by :)...x
~((((his girl friday)))~ hehehe I have so many lovely socks, the bestest pair now being me pair that I bought in Maine with Mooses all over them... which my Sam keeps nicking.... I find though that the tucking of ones boobies in ones socks often makes for holey socks due to 'gravel rashing' LOL .......xxx
~(((((flowerpot)))))~ hey you, welcome, I have been reading your blob for months and months now :).... and braved enough to post a comment on it.... you live in the most beautiful part of the country and if I stay in this country that is where I will probably move to end me days...... say NO to big parties...... me maties knew there was NO WAY that I would of enjoyed that, so what they did was just 'spot on' for me :)......xxxx
~((((miss understood))))~ it was a positive post.... it just triggered a shelf in me memory about childhood birthdays..... but they are just memories, they can do no harm.....
OK, when ya in the neighbourhood ya can shout for dinner LOL.... fanks.....xxx
~(((((ol' lady))))~ nah, you be the special one.... :) - OMG old man killed himself some mooses... :(.... oh well, thats life ;).... now, do you cut them up for the freezer or do you shove them in whole LOL........xxxxxxxxx
Hey Mel, gosh I've been so busy with work, work, work that I havent' read any blogs in a few weeks. I'm touched that you took a pic of your bday gift from me before digging into the goodies! Oh but go ahead & eat the MOOSE pasta, I will send you more for Christmas! And all the time I was thinking that package got lost in the mail when it was taking so long to get to you, it was really just waiting to come on the perfect day! I'm so glad your birthday turned out so fab -- you share and care so much about others, it's only natural that the good comes back to you. XOXO!
I am so happy for you and Happy Belated Birthday wishes from me. And you only have special Maties because you are special. It is about time that people are letting you know that.
I'd just like to know why everyone is giving you MY chickens and cookbooks and such? LMAO...
I am truly amazed each time you write about your childhood at how simular it is to mine. We really had a couple of stupid selfish Moms. I wonder if they were sisters?
I wonder why we still love them? Now that my Mom is dead I miss her so much. Maybe I am simply a glutton for hurt. Maybe I just feel sad because now that she is dead I can no longer try to prove to her that I am worthy of her love.
It also amazes me that we like and collect so many of the same things and that people think we are remarkable because we lived through bad childhoods and marriages...raised kids alone and still manage to find some humor and joy in life. Hell, we are just strong stock, me thinks. We had to be if we were to live, hey?
Oh and flowers...I do so love your flowers. You lucky, lucky gal. I'm nigh onto 60 so PLEASEzeeeeee stop referring to 50 as old. (S)
And here you are a half world away and it seems you could've been brought up with me in my home. WOW!!!
xxxJolie
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