Sunday 3 August 2008

Dreams And White Picket Fences...



Ok........ for as long as I can remember, and Im going back 30 or so years...... Ive always had a thing about white picket fences.....



It was as if all my dreams were wrapped up in a white picket fence.... all my hopes and dreams and wishes and life..... and I knew when I saw the right fence, it would give me hope and love and safety.... there didnt even need to be a gate to hold me in, just the fence....



Ive seen hundreds of white pickets in my lifetime...... but not the right one..... not the one that had my name upon it...... not the one that knew me..... not the one that could understand me and all that I held inside.......all my pain and sorrows, all my joys and laughter, all my memories, everything that I was... that I am.... and what I will one day be....



And then I found this white picket fence (in the above photo) when I was not even looking, I felt it had been waiting for me in the long grass, waiting for me to stumble upon it...... and all it's souls that it wrapped its self around ....cos this fence came with other souls......this was my fence that I had waited a lifetime to stand before..... I fell in love with this old white picket fence, abandoned against the bushes...with its rough edges and its chipped and peeling paint..... it made my soul alive from the first moment I set eyes upon it..... it stirred my soul like nothing in life had before....... it was the same fence in my dreams...... it felt like home.... it made me feel safe for the first time ever...I felt it knew me, I felt safe telling it my inner thoughts and dreams and secrets.... my secrets.....I felt it had been waiting for me all of these years.... it made me feel oh so safe, I had never felt safe before...

I close my eyes and the fence is still there, everyday, it makes my soul ache..... it will ache until I die.... maybe its my punishement..... yes, this ache is my punishment... always oxo


Someone should burn that fence...... throw it on a burn pile, along with my dreams.....

X

74 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing these very deep thoughts.

Akelamalu said...

Aw honey, don't burn your dreams, they can come true. xxxx

Irene said...

I used to believe in white picket fences also. Then you find out that they belong to your fairy tales and that you can live without them. You get older and change your dreams to more realistic goals. The kind that fir your life. It only hurts a little bit.

Annie Wan said...

i love the way that we find things when we're not looking xx

Pam said...

(((((mel)))))) even if it takes awhile, your dreams can happen. sometimes we just have to figure out how to get there. cuz believe me, i'm still trying to figure out my own way LOL you don't need the white picket fence to achieve your dream. xoxo

Anonymous said...

I have found that my dreams of yester year are not the same as my hopes and dreams of today. Dreams change as we age and it is a challenge to know when the old dreams need to be put to bed. But you need to let them go so that you might move forward to the wonderful new dreams and challenges that are waiting for you. Let the attic have the old.

Like the (Universal They) say...when one door closes a new one can open. New hopes, wishes, dreams and love can be had.

Get in a quiet place Mel and the new dreams can speak to you. What an exciting time. If you let the fence go you may find that safety is way over rated and dreams from youth are way over stated.

Be happy sweetie...this new freedom will be fun.

xxxJolie

Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

It's weird...I always dreamed of so many things- you have your fences and I have my white knights, and the funny thing is, usually I wind up on the horse in real life. Mel, you are so strong, the heroine of your own story. When I read what you write, it makes me laugh and cry and I remember the things you share, they make such an impression. That is amazing. It really is. Situations come and go, and so do people, but all that you are keeps on growing and changing into a greater treasure.

Kati said...

Just (((((HUGS))))). I wish you the realization of these dreams.

Btw, did you get to see that video of the baby moose playing in a sprinkler in somebody's back yard??? I posted it on my blog a few posts ago, and Yahoo-messenger'd you with the link.

Intense Guy said...

Wow. I'm... not only speechless (imagine that!) I'm also ashamed of what I just blogged - compared to this entry.

*hugs* Hang on to those dreams... maybe they, like the fence, just need a little sanding and fresh coat to make them sparkle once more.

Lisa said...

Marmy, you sentimental twit, your dreams aren't gone, they are just buried under bandages and meds right now. When you are ready, you pack your white fence in your carpet bag and head for Doodleland. We welcome one-legged crimples, two-legged nuts that walk funny, ou know, everyone.

Now, I don't promise that we won't laugh at/with you at times, but we will set up that picket fence right here AND put in a gate so you can come and go!

Remember, Steve the shed has a ramp to welcome you in whatever condition you arrive in!!

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

deb said...

you seem like a dear. i wish i had a dear to teach me the ways of my English Nana's Pasties. :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Beautifully expressed. This is a wonderful piece of writing.

Christy Woolum said...

I also have a love for white picket fences... I love our old one we found out in a field at a second-hand store, but we painted it green. We wanted to blend into the area a bit. It is still nice, but white fences represent a crisp, country look that seems to enclose us in love and warmth. Ummmmm.... maybe we should paint ours!!!lol

sparrow said...

No.

And I'll tell you why...

...because it can all STILL HAPPEN.

I am living, breathing proof and I would NEVER steer you wrong...

... because I love you.

Fire Byrd said...

Dreams are sometimes the only things we have left. And even they get tarnished. But you just have to wait on the day when that flicker of light restarts, or alternatively as you suggest get a llama!
x

Flowerpot said...

I quite agree about white picket fences. there's something so solid and safe and comforting about them. But don't ever give up on your dreams, Marmie.

Georgina said...

Toastie, you must not give up on your dreams, or your workouts. Dreams do come true. Even though things are so very tough for you at the moment there will be a day when you look out towards your very own picket fence and think my God I did it. You know where I am if you need to talk, I can call you back on my live box. (((XXX))) France.

buffalodick said...

Throw the fence onto a fire, and begin to dream again. Fences keep you out, or in... neither is a good thing. The Great Wall of China didn't work. A deep puddle you fell into, eh? Beautiful prose..really..

Lee Harris said...

...beautiful. I'm learning to love 20 feet walls.

PEACE said...

Your post hit a deep chord with me. I, too, am a white picket fence girl.

Never let go of your dreams, finding that picket fence just confirms that your dreams are still alive, maybe buried for a while in the day to day struggle, but they are there, just waiting to come true.

Yes, white picket fences, there is something lovely and menacing about them.

Intense Guy said...

I just came back to look at your fence picture - the one of the fence that "talks" to you. I note it is a bit worn but every bit as lovely as a new one would be... and that the underlying wood is sound, and in fact hale and hearty.

Everything left outside in the elements eventually takes a bit of weathering... and the best things (quality-wise) and the studiest things (inner-strength) bear up to it the best.

I'm glad I found your blog. I've enjoyed each entry I've read and I remain in awe by how your words have affected so many - and moved so many to laugh and cry WITH you. To be able to do, is a special thing.

I'm very glad to found you. :)

*hugs* Wishes all the best to you.

LadyStyx said...

*HUGZ*

dittos iggy and several of the others who have expressed it so well.

... said...

You're not so old as to give up on your dreams marmy. Now..go out and look for that fence again.

Anonymous said...

Marmie -- that is beautiful and tragic all in one turn. Try to never give up on your dreams even when things may look their bleakest. Hang in there abd remember you are a gift to so many -- I wish I could give back some of the joy and smiles I get from reading your posts.

Unknown said...

So where is this fence you found??? And girl, you are NOT the "dream throw awayer" person. You hear me? You find the fun and humor in everything. That was beautiful writing, but cheer up.

Jackie said...

Are white picket fences a common dream for all young girls? When I was a teen ager, I dreamed of living in a little white cottage surrounded by a white picket fence.

That dream has never come true in a physical sense...only in the inner recesses of my mind. But it doesn't mean it can't come true for you.

Mel...that is a beautifu piece of writing.

Jackie said...

add an "l" on the word beautiful.

Bay Views said...

I, too have a white picket fence. My 30 foot deck is bordered by this fence. It's there primarily so when I've had too much to drink, I don't fall off.

Jeanie said...

Very beautiful, Marmie - don't burn your fence! That's like burning your bridge. You need it. I'm glad you've found a fence with your name on it! :)

Unknown said...

i'm reminded of a line by Tom Waits, "...angels wear wings where their dreams used to be..."
...and lately i've come to think that we all dream each other into this existence or as Pixie once wrote to me...
"I fell asleep and dreamed of God.
I awoke knowing God dreamed of me."

...fences are meant to be mended
dreams are meant to take flight

...look up, Marmy...

meggie said...

Have some hugs, & don't mourn the fence too longxx

Lil ol' me... said...

I think a person's dreams remind them of who they are. This ol' world takes away our dignity, our peace of mind, and sometimes rips our very souls apart as time goes on. So be reassured that the dream of the white picket fence, and all it symbolizes, can never be taken away from you. For me there are no fences. I see the birds flying high above me and my spirit soars with them.

Queenie said...

I good wire brush, and a firm hand with some sandpaper, slap on a couple of coats off quality paint. There good as new, anything is possible with hope and determination.......
You've plenty of that lady.

Toriz said...

*HUGS*

Iggy (and several others) have already said what I was going to, so I'll just leave it at the hugs, I think.

How're you doing?

JBelle said...

I suppose burning your white picket fence, the one you've dreamed of and longed for for so long, is a good thing. For a happy ending, though, you'd have to be ready to dream a new dream, an updated, fresh dream. Sometimes barrenness, dryness in a hopeful, dream-fueled existence is a good thing; I think you have to be fully present, though, to appreciate the experience of walking through it and out the other side. So burn the damn fence. And wait and listen.

what's next?

Lulda Casadaga said...

Aren't does picket fences a thing of the 50's? And who knows what went on behind those cute little doors?! Lordy, MT you have so much to give us crazies out here on the other side of the fence...don't give up on any of your dreams...that's what keeps us going!
Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence!!

Elizabeth said...

Lovely, lovely post. That first picture reminds me of a picture that my sister has hanging in her house. That picture has a house with a white picket fence with loads of flowers spilling out of it...all white and pink and hopeful. I want to thieve it from her but I'm fairly certain she'd notice it sticking out of my luggage.

Holy Christ on a stick! (Whoops! Bad image.) Your knee replacement post was a cracker! Those photos were INSANE. I am astonished that you were awake for that (well... for most of it anyway!) I just LOVE the fact that they covered you in pink after your surgery. At least they had a sense of humor!

Turns out that I just needed each knee "shaved" so off I went this morning for arthroscopic surgery. I've got massive marshmallow-like things wrapped around each knee now and I'm wobbling around like a drunkard. Nice, eh? ;)

I hope you don't mind if I swing back around for more twaddle. I've rather enjoyed poking around in here. :)

Gone Back South said...

Hello! I started reading your blog a while ago. Maggie May sent me when I was blabbing on about liking marmite, but I didn't leave a comment because you were going through an intensely dark phase in hospital and everyone was terribly worried about you. Anyway I'm leaving a comment now! I can't add much about fences - although that is an exceptionally handsome one - but I do hope things work out well for you, Marmite Lady. x

softinthehead said...

Hello - I just popped by via Sally's Chateau or Lehners in France not sure which but you brightened my day so much I just wanted to say "Hi".. Loved the post with the rubber glove/condom. I'll be back :)

susan said...

I don't exactly know what the fence represents or exactly in what context you are speaking.

Sometimes it is good to hold on and sometimes it is good to let go.

Maybe it served its purpose. Maybe you can be thankful for the pleasure it did give you, and now it is time for new things.

I don't know if I believe in dreams, so I am not the one to bring encouragement in this area. I believe in trying to create your reality, but there is only so much that can be done.

There are times when we don't just shape our reality into something better, but we also shape others reality into something better also.

Those are amazing times, I believe.

Mel, I find joy in knowing you. You help shape my reality into something better just by being you.

Hang in there, Girl. Hang in there.

Kaylee said...

LOvely post :)

GreenishLady said...

I've just wandered in (who left the gate in the picket fence open?), don't know what the dreams may be, or why you say they should be burnt, but my heart says "No, no, don't burn it. Salvage it. Find a way to make it useful again".

Cindy said...

Who says the fence has to stay where it is? Bet it would look even better in your yard!

MarmiteToasty said...

Ok..... this post was not meant to sound sad..... its more like a sense of realisation and reality about me..... and its hard when it finally dawns in ones soul, that the fences are for others.... Im not even the latch on the gate.....

Anyways enough of that bollocks.....

~(((((helen))))~ nah not beautiful lol.... just mumblings from my soul....xxxxx

~(((ake))))~ well I aint lit the match yet.... but the pile of dreams are staring at me....xxxxx

~(((irene)))~ Ive lived without so much in life..... the fence is what has kept me alive all these years.... my life and goals have always been for others..... and then 'the fence' was there infront of me..... oh well....xxxxxxxx

~(((mei del)))~ yeah, Im not one for looking...... it is what it is....xxxxx

~(((((Ciara anyones for a wet dream lol))))~ nah no more figuring..... Im done and dusted lol.....xxxxx

~((((((jolie))))))))~ well this post is way much more then TheFence.... I can be deep sometimes ya know lol..... maybe I will explain to you one day.....not only did the door close it pulled the bolt across and padlocked it.... go bung the kettle on will ya lol.....love you ....xxxxxxxx

~(((((sue o))))~ ya not suppose to cry lol.... and sometimes I share just a little to much...... and by sharing sometimes the picket fence gets ripped out of the garden of hope... and yep Ive changed this past year.... and as yet, Im not sure its for the better.... only time will tell..... Ive certainly 'lost' a part of me that I cant seem to get back....xxxxxx

~(((kati)))~ dreams scheeems lol thats jewish you know..

yep I got the mooses LOVED them Ol Lady also sent me the link, oh how I wish I could of been there for real.... i did send an offie to you... dont know if they ever got to ya?.....fanks for thinking of me....xxxxx

~(((intense guy)))~ oh shut it will ya, your blob post was brilliant lol.... well I think I got the wrong grade of sandpaper lol....xxxxx

~(((lisa))))~ LOL@sentimental twit lmfao... I would of been there painting that 'fence' by now.... that is where my soul belongs.... but alas, it remains here in this little village....

Waving at Steve the shed lol....

ps...... dont tell a single soul BUT.... a dear friend of about 3 years said they would marry me so that I could get in the country with ease lol..... I said they would get use to my cooking and wouldnt wanna get rid of me lol.... I might have to take me matie up on the offer though ;)....xxxxxxx

~(((deb)))~ welcome from where ever you came.... LOL@a dear..... you have much to learn lmfao.... dont be fooled by the 'dreamy' post.. scroll back and you will change your mind lmfao...... AND I MAKE THE MOST WICKED PASTIES :)....xxxxx

~(((charles)))))~ nah not wonderful, just written by my soul....xxxxxx

~((((InlandEmpireGirl))))~ I know your love of pickets to :).... TheFence for the first time in my life made me feel 'safe' daft right? lol.....xxxxxxxx

~(((bollinger byrd)))~ welcome you..... yeah the dreams are all I truely had that were mine alone.... oh well.... when I move I will get a Llama and call it Larry in honour of LarryTheLobster from Maine lol.....xxxxxx

~((((flowerpot))))~ another dream is Cornwall....maybe my white picket fence lies in Cornwall.... maybe that one is more realisic :).....xxxxx

~((((France))))~ dreams are for dreamers :) Ive lost me sense of dreamability.... hunting out your phone number .....xxxxx

~(((buffalo)))))~ oh the fence was so much more then just a fence.... unscrewing the hinges off the gate of the fence...

Im hoping to take my Jacob to the Wall of China next year, if Im mobile enough..... probably end up at Hadrians Wall though that was built one the border of Scotland and England to keep the dam Scots in....(sorry Scottie if you are reading this, but you knows I luvs ya and McTavish lol).... buff... this is so much more then white picket fences.......xxxxxxxx

~(((le harris)))~ what? your in prison? lol......xxxxx

~(((peace))))~ welcome to you....yeah this fence made me feel safe for the first time in my entire life.... what a saddo I am lmfao.....xxxxx

~(((intense guy)))~ well maybe I need to get a finer grade of sandpaper.... I love 'that fence' but I love it as it is..... old and worn and with a story or two to tell....

Im glad you stumbled through the door of me blob to :) that in itself was meant to be....hugs back atcha....xxxxxxx

~((((ladystyx))))~ no dittos allowed lmfao...xxxxx

~(((Toadie)))~ I will just have to settle for me lot in life..... I do not know why I even dreamed for a second that I deserved so much more...... cos I dont.....xxxxxx

~(((out of the blue)))))~ hey you :).... oh my goodness gracious.... now you have me in tears with your words..... SO JUST BLOODY STOP THAT........xxxxxxxx

~(((cina)))~ oh Im cheery... the THAT FENCE will stay in my heart only for me to smile or cry at....xxxxxx

~((((Inspired)))))~ ya see, over here the White Picket Fence is not really like it is in the States, so I dont even know where the notion ever came from when i was younger.... rough council estates do NOT have white fences....... so I can only think it was in my soul from the outset.... white pickets are sooooo american.... over here its more hedges.... going out to plant a hedge, knowing my luck it will have bleedin thorns growing on it lol.... or poison ivy entwinned around it....xxxxx

~((((bay views))))~ you HAVE a white picket fence?..... oh my..... my oh my.... does it surround your dreams.......xxxxx

~((((jeanneS))))~ its best if I just balance on this pole with no fences and no bridges :)..... yeah at least I can say once in my lifetime I found my fence....xxxxxx

~((((Soul pumpkin)))))~ Im looking up, and a pidgeon just shit in me eye........ can you see NOW HOW MY LIFE GOES lol.......xxxxxxx

~((((meggie)))))~ Ive mourned the fence more then I mourned the death of my parents....strange aye?....xxxxx

~(((idaho escapee)))~ that fence, I dont truely think I can ever let it go fully..... not THAT FENCE that I found in the bushes.... it will always always be in my heart and soul....xxxxxx

~(((((queenie)))~ sigh....... maybe I shouldnt of bought the Hammerite for a wooden fence lol.....xxxxxxxx

~(((((ToriZ))))~ HOW ARE YOU DOING....... sorry Im such a slagbag with me emails..... I aint emailed no one.... so dont think your special not to of received one lol...... soon.... I need to be 'still' before I can email proper..... soon..... very soon.....much love to you brave lady.... hugs to Kelly.....xxxxxx

~(((((((((((((((JBelle))))))))))))~ Im to tired for new dreams......

yu ask whats next......... nuffin.... thats whats next..... love you girl....xxxxxxxx

~(((lulda casadage)))))~ welcome to you to the mad house..... I had never seen a picket fence until I was in me 30s but I always had one in my minds eye..... how strange is that.... OK WHO ARE YOU? you sound like you have been here before?

and hey, the grass is so much greener..... its bright and fresh.... and without knowing me, no one will fully understand.....xxxxx

~(((((elizabeth))))~ welcome to you.... did ya love the photos? lmfao....... hope your recovering from you little op lol..... had 3 of those little ops before the big one......

Oh come back anytime.... scroll back and read some of the better posts lol its not all gloom and doom..... go read about the Gnomes lmfao hahahahahaha.......xxxxx

~((((gonebacksouth))))~ welcome you....you LOVE marmite to :)....well dark places are crying out to have the lights turned on..... it was just a case of reaching up for the switch :).... Im allowed one little set back in life..... god knows I up for one lol - please dont lurk :) just drop a comment whether good or bad, its ok :).....xxxxx

~((((softinthehead))))~ GREAT NIC lol.... welcome......Hi back atcha :)..... lol@brighten you days..... scrolling back and trying to suss out what the hell post you read LOL.....xxxxx

~((((((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))~ maybe it was 'I' that served the fences purpose.... and thats why its hard to shut the gate......and Ive had to shape others lives all my life...... I just needed someone/something to shape mine for a little while....

Susan, you have enriched my life so very much for being a part of it, even from all those miles away..... fank you so very much.....xxxxxxxx

~(((kaylee)))~ :) oh shucks lol..... it was only me soul typing....xxxxx

~((((greenishlady))))~ welcome to you.... I would give up my complete life and world to stand next to that fence in the picture..... fanks for popping over :).... LOL@wandered in....xxxxxxx

~((((((((((((((cindy))))))))))~ hey you, I would love to bring the fence here for a little while, it would look lovely next to me chickens :).... it would be two loves of my life together lol.......xxxxxxx

Cedar Street Kid said...

ah, but you really don't know what is really behind that picket fence. Maybe it is not what it seems.When I was alone for so many years,I would walk along the streets of the city around Christmas time, look up at the gaily lighted windows, and imagine that those people had the perfect life, the perfect Holiday, the perfect partner, the perfect everything. Then it hit me. Perhaps they were not happy at all, and the bright lights, the Holiday symbols, in your case, the white picket fence, were just mirages to hide their real unhappines. I was probably just as blessed, and as happy as they were.

You see, the white picket fence is inside your heart, and no one can take that away from you.

laughingwolf said...

don't burn it, salvage it and take it home....

Blossomcottage said...

Dreams are one of the most importnt things in our lives, I wrote a blog about it not long ago, maybe you read it if not maybe you would like to its what the world is built on,if we do not dream we not achieve.

http://blossomcottage.blogspot.com/2008/06/memories-i-have-dream.html


I love Yeates poem about a dream for his love.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Toriz said...

I was gonna ask if you got around to answering my e-mail yet... Guess I don't need to now. LOL! No worries... Get to it when you can. :)

How am I? I'm OK... I think!

Toriz said...

Oh... By the way... You've got an award over on my blog.

Also... If you want to see some recent photos of me then you'll want to take a look at my recent posts, 'cause I've posted the photos from while I was at my brother's wedding (you might have to click on "older posts" to see the first post or two, 'cause I did them only a few photos per post). Mam and Dad took them for me (apart from the ones of themselves, of course).

JBelle said...

I love you back, you meatball.

Pamela said...

You have a wonderful way of drawing me in with your descriptions.I wish I had something clever, deep, and inspiring about your picket fence.

I want one of those indestructible pvc fences. You never have to paint them. What does that tell you about me ?

Pat said...

Thanks for your visit. White picket fences make me think of the Andy Hardy films of my youth. Thanks for the memory:)

Slip said...

So sweet it makes my teeth hurt. After working in prison for 27 years I have been behind enough fences to last me a lifetime.

Marm maybe a career change is in order for you. Mix that "Melt in your mouth," prose in with a few dirty words and you have A#1 phone sex. The pervs would pay big money to pound their puds as they imagine you as the "Dream Girl!"

Catch said...

Marmie you are such a beautiful writer, you know just how to put it in the right words......I mentioned you in my post today! lol

laughingwolf said...

come get your award....

Toriz said...

Just stopping by to say, "hi," and let you know I'm thinking of you and hoping you're doing OK. *hugs*

Maggie May said...

I also love the look of the white picket fences. Don't give up on your dreams.

The Fool said...

Who needs fences? I think your dream is waiting beyond the fences...

MarmiteToasty said...

SORRY I AINT BEEN AROUND, BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK TO WORK AND TO SAY ITS BEEN DIFFICULT WORKING ON 3 HOURS SLEEP AND FITTING EVERYTHING IN AROUND 3-4 HOSPITAL APPOINTMENTS A WEEK, AND SUSS AND SORTING EVERYONE ELSE OUT THAT NEEDS ME, HAS LEFT ME TOTALLY EXHAUSTED IN WHICH WAY....

I always through life, no matter what was thrown at me always said that others and life could take everything from me but they/it could never take my dreams, my spirit and my humour..... well, Ive still got one of the 3 left, and that will have to carry me through.. LOL

~(((cedar street kid)))~ oh but I did see what was behind.... I caught a glimpse, it was all I had dreamed of..... and hey, its nowt about being on me own lol.... cos I aint ever in me life known different.... I know the fence is inside my soul, and it was good to catch that tiny snippet, but to be teased and then the gate shut......its hard....xxxxx

~((((Wolfie)))))~ oh how I wish I could bring it home.... even if it was dragged lol...xxxxx

~((((blossomcoattage))))~ I always use to believe in my dreams cos since very small that is all I ever had... always looking to climb over that fence... but now I think that maybe dreams are for others and not for me...... love that poem.... and love your post :)...xxxxx

~(((((ToriZ))))~ please forgive me.... and fanks for the award> even though I so aint worthy...xxxxxx

~((((JBelle)))))~ now is that meatball in garlic and herb sauce or just plain old tomatoe :)..xxxxxx

~(((pamela)))~ cripes lol I dont try to do anything, I never even know what to type, I just sit and let me fingers, heart and soul take over..... hence the shit grammar and the spelling mistakes lol I never check stuff for either, or I would never post...

SAY NO to PVC fences, they cant age with time and grace and love and will never truely know the hardships and the good times in life, a bit like many humans I know lol.....xxxxxxx

~((((((((((((slip))))))))))))))~ oh shut up lmfao.... cripes, do you think I could go down that path of phone sex? .... ok, give me ya number and I will have to practise LMFAO... you could be me agent LOL hahahahahaha... and your right..... I no longer enjoy the job I do, it was once a means to an end, it kept the wolf from the door, it supported not only me and my 4 lads but also my X when he lost the plot, it was something I NEVER wanted to do for me, but to help others survive...... even though Im shit hot at my job lol..... but, I still have a few more years to carry others....then I will sell up completely and 'go find my path'.....ok big boy LMFAO....xxxxx

~(((((((((catch)))))))~ oh my, pinching meself, is that truely you? :).... and I AINT NO BEAUTIFUL WRITER lol I cant write if me life depended on it.. but fanks all the same :)...xxxxxxxx

~(((((((Wolfie))))))~ :) xxxxx

~(((((ToriZ)))))~ hey you..... 2 steps forward 1 1/2 steps back....xxxxx

~(((((maggie)))))~ they are hanging by a thread....xxxxx

~((((((((((((((((((((Foolie)))))))))))))))~ oh my, oh my tiz you :)... foolie I carefully slowly and with a guarded heart picked my way through the plants and over the fence, it was there..... but the weeds grew to fast and I had to climb back........ xxxxxxxxxx

Toriz said...

Hang in there. *hugs*

And... If I didn't think you were worthy of the award I wouldn't have given you it, would I? :)

WithinWithout said...

Or why not get your sons to load it on to a lorrie and drive it to your place and erect it all around your property?

You could paint it the brightest of whites or whatever hues or shades you wanted.

It could protect you and make you feel warm and safe. But remember to build gates that you can open to let out all that's in your heart.

Like you did here.

Smile, Toasty.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((ToriZ)))~ :) huge hugzzzz back at you...xxxxxx

~((((shake it all about)))~ MMMm great idea, only that particular beautifully worn fence is on the East Coast of America.... in the long grass, entwinned with weeds and ivy.....

AND :) I live in a little cottage that is joined to another LOL.... BUT, I could put it around me little veggie plot OR around Janet, Mabel and Cedrics Coop :)..... it would be easier, for me to go to the fence LOL....fanks for popping over, Ive missed you.... xxxxxxx

Lulda Casadaga said...

Hey...I'm on the East Coast Marmie! I tell you what, I'll go get the fence and then send it to you, but due to high postage rates I will just send you bits & pieces at a time...

When finally all sent to you I'm sure you'll be able to move... and then what the hell are you going to do with that nice fence?!
Yes, that one that I took my time to send to you in individual pieces...oh, just forget about it!! :D (that last line has to said in the New Joisy accent of my youth) ala Sopranos tone!!

WithinWithout said...

Oh well then, I didn't see that it was in the Eastern U.S.

You've got tons of fans all across the planet. If each one of us got ONE white picket and couriered it to you, you'd have a fence longer and sturdier and more international than the Great Wall of China.

I'll volunteer. :-)

Anonymous said...

((((( Melody )))))
what an awesome way of expressing your thoughts!

First of all, I appologize for being such a stranger....I haven't been all that well...but am getting better....

I just had to comment on your words....
"And then I found this white picket fence when I was not even looking, I felt it had been waiting for me in the long grass, waiting for me to stumble upon it...... and all it's souls that it wrapped its self around ....cos this fence came with other souls......this was my fence that I had waited a lifetime to stand before..... I fell in love with this old white picket fence, abandoned against the bushes...with its rough edges and its chipped and peeling paint..... it made my soul alive from the first moment I set eyes upon it..... it stirred my soul like nothing in life had before....... it was the same fence in my dreams...... it felt like home.... it made me feel safe for the first time ever...I felt it knew me, I felt safe telling it my inner thoughts and dreams and secrets.... my secrets.....I felt it had been waiting for me all of these years.... it made me feel oh so safe, I had never felt safe before..."

Those words make me think of Stan....by beloved....
please, don't ever give up on your hopes and dreams and beautiful picket fences..... they are what keep life alive and fun.....
btw. i love all your pics and prose....
simply beautiful

patti
gazey

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((lulda casadaga)))~ welcome you :) - you might have to send it spindle at a time LOL.. I'll send you the address where its at ;)..xxxxx

~(((((within without shake it all about))))~ ok, I'll make you me official picket bringer over lol... I make up the spare room for ya... oh, we dont have a spare room, it might have to be the shed :)....xxxxx

~(((((gazey)))))~ I have been such a shit friend of late, Im so sorry, know you and Stan are always in my thoughts ....

And I only write from my heart :) - I love you girl.....xxxxxxx

Elaine Denning said...

This is one of the lovliest, most poignant pieces of writing I have ever read. x

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((miss understood))))~ from the heart, I can only Twaddle from me heart.... fank you...xxxxx

Jess said...

That dreams picture is beautidul but sad.
What happened to the good old orange picket fence?

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White Picket Fences said...

I’ve always loved the idea of a picket fence too! It conjures up the image of a quiet and peaceful home. The fact that they’re not closed keeps you open to the world, and yet upholds your privacy. Functionally, it lets strong winds pass through, so they’ll stand a lot longer than closed fences. I think it’s so cute how you all got together to put it up and paint it, by the way. Great job!


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