Sunday, 27 July 2008

The Dandelion v The Hollyhock - Just Who Does He Fink He Is......

Ok............ most people know that me and me twat neighbour dont really like each other, its common knowledge around here.... Im never actually rude as such to him cos I floor him with my calm nature whilst he often walks away with steam coming out of his ears........

Well, this past week, there has been occasion to have 3 seperate 'quiet words' with the bloke LOL I so LOVE to wind him up at ever given opportunity..... I think it is becoming like a sport with me and he takes the bait EVERYTIME.....

I will tell you about the first 'incident' this past week....

Each year our village enters this county competition called 'Village In Bloom' and its to see who has the prettiest summer village, and then a by product of that is 'Street In Bloom' which is within this village and to see which street is the prettiest or makes the most effort over the summer months with their front gardens....

Well, me twat neighbour has only lived here for about 3 years and he is a right proper tosser.... no one can stand the bloke, he is right up his own arse sorta bloke and she aint much better, always looking down their noses at everyone else.....

Anyways, I usually just plant up me poo buckets out the front of me house and 2 years in a row I won the individual container part of the competition..... I knew this year that there was no chance that I would cos I just quickly planted them with not much thought this year cos all thats happened with me knee and stuff I aint had much time to think about me garden........



I know, I know, they are wellabit rubbish, but I have had other things going on ya know..



I let meself down with these lol

Anyways....... I was getting out of me car last Wednesday, after just having a horrendous 2 hour session with me physios, so I was drained and in much pain and gagging for a cuppa tea..... and HE was faffing around his tiny front garden, our houses dont really have front gardens, but just a 3 or 4 foot front yard, our little cottages almost step onto the pavement.... HE has this daft iron railing at the front of his house like some bloody mansion lol where as I have a wall....

Anyways..... as I got out me car I saw the tosser watering the plants in his front garden.... my brain said ignore the tosser, but I thought I would be neighbourly and so I said..... your hollyhocks are beautiful they make quite a picture.... I cant seem to grow them, no matter how many times Ive tried....... to which he replied, well ya have to be clever to grow them...... BIG BIG MISTAKE....... this is the conversation that followed.....

Me - You saying I aint clever?

Him - No, that is not what I said..

Me - Anyways, you didnt grow those hollyhocks they were there when you moved in, so ya aint that clever ya self.... where is it you work? Tescos? sweeping up?

Him - Its a part time job cos Im retired..

Me - Ok thats right, sweeping up keeps ones elderly mind working lol..

Him - Im sorting out the fronts cos the 'Street in Bloom' lady might be around today to judge..

Me - Well my poo pots aint up to much this year, never mind, its not the be all and end all of life..

Last year this bloke went along all the fronts of everyones houses in this road and swept up the dead leaves and pulled up weeds..... so this year I thought I would cultivate some dandelions out the front cos I KNEW it would drive him mad.....

As he was talking my eyes scanned my front wall to see if me cultivated dandelions needed watering......



This is a photo I took last week, do you know how hard it is to grow a dandelion on a pavement lol I squashed a bit of soil between a tiny gap where my front wall meets the pavement and I dug up a tiny baby dandelion up from the back of me garden and squashed the roots into the tiny gap LMFAO....... I was on a mission.... this was a few weeks ago and I myself was very surprised that it actually grew to this fine specimen LMFAO.....

But to my horror the dandelion was not there, my pride and joy, my bait for me twat neighbour WAS GONE....



This is what I saw, WHERE WAS ME DANDELION.......

I turned to face me neighbour.....

Me - Did you touch my dandelion?..

Him - Yep *smug grin* I pulled it out, it made the front look untidy......

Me - But it was MY front and MY dandelion..... just who do you think you are?

Him - It was just a dandelion..

Me - No no no, it was MY dandelion (really laffing inside, cos he was now beginning to look uncomfortable..

Him - It was a weed, just a weed.. and it was not really IN your garden but along the front wall..

Me - NO no no, it was MY weed, and all weeds are gods flowers (I had read that somewhere and thought I would throw it into the conversation)..

Him - You dont do god.. which bit of 'it was a weed do you know understand'..

Me - Which bit of IT WAS MY WEED dont you get?..

Him - At least it looks tidier..

Me - Who are you to say what looks tidier....... I might have to report you..

Him - Who to?..

Me - The NSPDAW..(ranking me brain working out the letters lol)..

Him - Who?

Me - National Society Protection of Dandelions And Weeds..

Him - Thats no such society..

Me - How would you like it if I dug up your hollyhocks?

Him - Well that would just be ridiculas, it was just a dandelion, a weed..

Me - But it was my weed you had no right to touch my private property..

Him - You have really lost it... IT WAS A DANDELION..... a WEED.. there's not really a society of protection is there?

Me - Dont be surprised if the hollyhock pixies dig up their hollyhocks during the week and plant dandelions in their places...... you touch me dandelions again and you will be hearing from my solicitor, I have 'friends' in high places you know....

Him - It was a WEED.....

Me - But I loved that dandelion.... I dug it up from my grandmas garden just before she died....it was to remind me of nanna.. and now you have taken that away from me..

Him - (Not knowing if I was serious or not lol) oh, sorry to hear about your grandma, when did she die?

Me - On Monday...

Him - Oh Im so very sorry.. (looking a little concerned cos me eyes had glazed over lmfao due to the fact that me knee was throbbing from standing to long)..

Me - Yes on Monday in 1967....

Him - YOU AINT RIGHT IN THE HEAD.........

With that he went in and slammed his front door lmfao....... what a tosser....... you wait until next spring, Im gonna get all the dandelions I can find and get all me maties to help me plant his entire front garden and tubs with dandelions...... he has messed with me just that once to often....... this is war, Im on a mission, he is my reason for living lmfao........



These are HIS hollyhocks....... I was so tempted to cut them down during the night, but they are so pretty I just couldnt do it.....

I love winding me twat neighbour up.... it should be a sport in the olympics...... I think I would have a great chance of winning lol......

He didnt speak to me when I saw him on Friday...... but he had no choice but to speak to me on Saturday LMFAO but then that story is for another day lol....

What a tosser....

Enuff boring neighbourly twaddle for a Monday morning... off to me physio :(....

x

63 comments:

meggie said...

I know how you feel about your dandelion.. I had some pet ones, too. Of course the lawn-Nazi, aka, Gom has got rid of those little rays of sunshine!
I really hope your knee is feeling better because I have all that shit to look forward to- & I dread it!!

Slip said...

My bride can not grow hollyhocks either.Her pet weed is a thistle, your tosser neighbor would have a rough go of it trying to pull that weed. How is the torture working?

Mei Del said...

you must've have felt so pleased to see he'd taken the bait, erm dandelion :D

Lee Harris said...

OMG - LMAO - You're evil. I love it.

Intense Guy said...

Your poo pots look really nice to a guy like me with a black thumb.

And you know what is really funny?? I had just minutes before sent LadyStyx an e-mail saying Dandelions are a much understood flower and they get the bum rap. If you peek at her "blob" you will see a most beautiful FLOWER --> LadyStyx's 'blob' It isn't a weed, no way.

I think ya might want to have a word with that solictor. :)

Jen said...

You should be my neighbor. We have enough dandelions for everyone!

raymond pert said...

I think your twat neighbor is secretly sweet on you and walks off in a tiff when he realizes he stuck with his old cow in the house and that he's a twat and that his love for you will remain unrequited.

LadyStyx said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww iggy you sweet friend!! *HUGZ*

Marmy, my dear, you are one delightfully evil person at times! *laffin* I cant WAIT to hear about the next 2 "quiet words" you have with that "tosser". *HUGZ*

Dumdad said...

National Society Protection of Dandelions And Weeds? If there isn't one I think you should form one!

Poor man doesn't stand a chance...!

buffalodickdy said...

You Brits love your gardens... I don't! Farming, gardening, etc. is what I barter for.. I am glad people do love it, as they are the backbone of how we eat!

Lisa said...

Oh, fine! Post on yer blog when I'm not looking (just 20 times a day to read the comments) and then sneak over to mine and complain about the lack of posts! Well, I never!

And you with nothing to do but sit around in physio laffin with the wrokers and not posting, while I am veddy veddy important and have been... well sitting around!

Glad to see your form is back! Well, not that you ever lost your form, but you know what I mean, you daft cow!!

jolie-jordan said...

Marmie...this is no way to get a husband. Think kindness. Bring that man some cookies and tea and make nice. He could become the love of your life or at the very least he could maybe bring you some Hollyhocks for your front yard.

Are you bored? Go on vacation before your neighbors gang up on you for being a little snit.

Your pots of flowers are lovely...much prettier then his Hollyhocks any old day...so come-on girl throw the old codger a bone.

I mean after all a man his age and he still works? Lots of guys around here in their 20's wouldn't think of getting off their butts for a job of any kind...much less grow hollyhocks. (s)

Be a good girly now. (lol) AS IF.

Love ya...Jolie

ChrisB said...

Ha it's a good job he doesn't live next to me I cultivate dandelions to feed to my tortoises-I've got some pretty hollyhocks as well.

I happen to think your buckets look very pretty.

toadman said...

Brilliant, mel.. simply brilliant.

Tori_z said...

LMAO! You're too funny! :)

Inland Empire Girl said...

I agree with Mr. Raymond Pert. He will probably show up at your doorstep with two pots of dandelions in full bloom and a box of chocolates... he is just struggling with how to show his love. Lovely hollyhocks I must say!

Coral said...

I agree with JJ, take him some tea next time he is the garden and be nice, he will go inside to 'her inside' and say you are really off your rocker - gotta keep them gussing!!

You realy know how to mind f**k him, doncha?

(I cannot keep up with your quick mind - you are too funny)!

Coral said...

Sorry - I meant guessing!

Frum Helen Back said...

Well you must be feeling much better cause you sure are being ornery. Again you really made me laugh.

The Saint said...

Very funny. I had a good giggle. I'll post about my neighbour (Ex-UK). We had a disagreement on a tree and allergies. It's quite funny too and hubby loved to rile her with the it. Teeheehee!

susan said...

I would not want you mad at me. Geez Mel.
The whole description of ya'lls interaction makes me uncomfortable. I actually feel sorry for the guy.

I know, I know. He has the royal ability to be an asshole, but it still..... Geez.

JBelle said...

I loved this chapter of British village life. If you were Americans of course, by this time the neighborhood association and even the lawyers could be involved. You're a crimple! Doesn't your neighbor have any sympathy or deference at all for or to crimples?!

Bina said...

Ha Ha Ha! I love you girl! If only I lived near you and could follow you around and watch you in action. You are so hilarious. I wish I had your creativity and sense of humor!

Intense Guy said...

The sun shines high: the rain's gone by.
It's Dandelion Day.
From fertile spawn my plush green lawn
Is mottled yellow spray.

The neighbors' round, all cutting down
Their blades and flowers gay -
Now green they've got, a common lot,
While mine's in vast array.

Why should I mow these lovelies low,
Defying Sunshine's ray?
To bring them down the sun might frown,
And turn blue sky to gray.

I'll let their seeds fallow new weeds
And mow another day.
Resplay they should, the neighborhood.
The Dandelions stay.

Well chosen words by Nancy Ness

Tori_z said...

Great poem Iggy... Where do you find this stuff?

Lady in red said...

you should have pointed out to him that even a rose can be classed as a weed if it is unwanted but any plant that is wanted is not a weed......

I am surprised you didn't remind him to wear a nappy as he would be wetting the bed now.

when we were kids my dad was keen on wine making, one year he tried dandelion wine, I never forgave him for making us walk along the lanes picking dandelions for his wine.......didn't he understand that picking just one dandelion makes you wet the bed and he was making me pick bag fulls of the damn things.

Queenie said...

You little tinker you!!! When is he getting the letter then from
1, N.S.P.D.W
2, The Streets in Bloom, finalist meeting.
3,Redundancies at Tescos.
I could go on, but its like telling your nan how to boil eggs.

Cindy said...

I hope his "lawn" sprouts nothing but a big bright beautiful field of Dandelions next year. And that he runs out of weedkiller...

soul pumpkin said...

i'd have told mister neighbor man that i was planning on having those dandy greens cooked up for supper with a ham hock and that he best be off to the market for a suitable replacement...

ciara said...

((((((((mel...and anyone's for a sniff of their poo pot)))))))))ha ha this reminds me of when all of mini-me's classmates were bringing their teacher flowers on teacher appreciation week. she didn't have a flower, so she picked a weed. some were giving her whatever random stuff they could pick on the school grounds. her teacher laughed at her because it was a weed and not like the dumb things that the other kids gave. she said to her teacher,'but weeds help (the other flowers grow or environment not sure which)' and the teacher said, that's true. it was just something they had learned in school. now if i could only remember exactly what it was they did and what mini-me said LOL

Go Figure said...

MT...good point! One can't make dandelion wine out of hollyhocks I'll bet! At Matt's and my new digs the yard was FULL of dandelions. When he brought a couple of his college buds around they commented on them. I explained that they were an agricultural experiment for the 3rd world developing nations to see what growth could be achieved for dandelions in order to help their production of dandelion wine for export. HA! They bought it hook line and sinker.

Tori_z said...

I'm away for my brother's wedding until Monday, but wanted to come on here before I go so I can tell you I hope your knee's not giving you too much pain and that you'll be in my thoughts. *hugs*

Keep your chin up, and if your twat neighbour touches any more of your dandelions.... Beat him senseless with a wooden spoon or something. LOL!

Pamela said...

I'm sure that conversation got your blood circulating. That is very good for your leg.. (*:

Mom not Mum said...

You can send that idiot over to my house. We certainly wouldn't earn any "yorkshire in bloom" awards in our cul de sac if it were up to my house. I have a neighbor with an imaculate yard. He washes his cars once a week summer, winter, spring, autumn - so you can imagine his garden. Our garden is horrible - it was overrun with brambles that I sprayed and killed and ripped out - which left a horrible gaping hole of death. The lawn hasn't seen an edger in 4 years either. I do try to keep the nettles to a minimum as my little ones manage to get in to them all the time. LOL Such is life. My new house will have rocks in the front garden - low maintenance - that's my style. We save our beauty for the backyard where we actually sit and chat.

Glad you're back to yourself for the most part!

Lulda Casadaga said...

Too funny! Love reading your blogs.
I know I should have better things to do with my time...but who cares.
I wish you a speedy recovery and many new dandelions.

MarmiteToasty said...

MY COMPUTER BLEW UP YESTERDAY WITH ALL ME PHOTOS FROM THE LAST 4-5 YEARS... IM GUTTED.... not about the computer cos I have a brand new shiny FAST flat/wide screen super duper blue flashy light computer........ its just me STUFF on there that Im gutted about..... Im hoping the computer shop will be able to HELP ME to get them back..... all me family photos from our holiday in Maine are gone and from a few years ago from Wistconstance and Cyprus, all me minded nippers growing up photos, and ALL OF JANETS :(..... Im praying even though I dont do god for a miracle..... hope the shop dont just say I DIDNT PLUG the computer in LMFAO.........

Will answer comments once I get back from Physio, I didnt go yesterday, just cos.... so they rang me and told me I HAVE to go today as well as Friday...... and shit, its gone 9.30 and I have to be there by 10..... slater maties..x

jolie-jordan said...

So okay...what did you really do to the "old" computer? Like I am to believe you were not up to some naughy thing so that a GREAT new computer could slip into your cottage.

Isn't it Grand to get something new? Usually makes my day. I was gifted with a new comfy leather office desk chair (so's my arse doesn't get sore) were I to spend many hours tending to my computer chores. Like reading blogs and such. It's a wonderful rich brown color...the red-brown like the color of a roan. Oh shit! I wonder if it was made from horse...?

I suspect they should be able to rescue your photos. I hear that(they...the computer experts) can recoop most everything even if you try to beat the computer to death with a sledge hammer...so that you can have a new one. (LOL)

Sounds as if the people at that hospital have your number. I'm glad they call you on it and make you come in again right away. Keep that knee flexable.

off then to find some grub.

"We are starving...they wrote beneath the stamp as they readied letters while sitting in their fox-holes." WWII...messages sent home

xxxJolie

Kendra said...

Wow! I get to be comment #38 on the funniest damn post I've read in ages...
Here's my idea: send Toadman or someone the bloke's number, and have him call him with a "very serious complaint" as an officer of the NSPDW or whatever the hell you were calling it.... HA!
See how many dandelions he plucks of yours then!

Flowerpot said...

go for dandelions marmite! And the clocks are a real work of art. sometimes you just wonder about people don't you? Good luck with the physio...

Melody said...

Hilarious. Thanks for stopping by - don't be a stranger. We Melodys have to stick together.

Pecos Blue said...

Dang I am only admiring your pots from across the street : )

Hope you win again! That would show him.

PS I am doing my first give away..come see

Tom Evans said...

Is it wrong for me to feel sorry for the bloke?

MarmiteToasty said...

Ok... Just before 11pm here..... physio was 'NASTY'..... thats all I can say about that..

~(((meggie)))~ I only grew the dandylion in protest cos of his nonsense last year LOL.... and hey, NOT ALL knee replacements go wrong like mine has, so please dont worry.....xxxxx

~(((slip)))~ I so love hollyhocks, I just cant seem to grow them... see, me and ya misses ave got something in common :)... the torture is torture...xxxxx

~(((mei del)))~ I was mega chufted at the old geezer for taking the bait lol...xxx

~(((lee harris)))~ me, evil? :) only a little tiny inside part of me LOL...xxxxx

~(((intense)))~ me poo pots are the original poo buckets from these cottages when the dunny man would come around once a week with his horse and cart and empty them.... I found them year and years ago at the church fete when they was clearing out the old store rooms and having a sale.... I paid no more then a quid or so for them, and Im been offered hundreds for them, Im surprised someone aint just nicked em lol......

Oh Ive been over to ladystyx's blob (SEE HOW IM CHANGING HOW YOU SAY THE WORD BLOG LOL)...

Im up to me eyes with solicitors at the moment :)...xxxxx

~(((jen)))~ I would be in heaven lol...xxxxx

~(((MrP)))~ nah he aint, I think he dont like me cos Im a strong spirited woman :)...xxxxx

~((((ladystyx))))~ can you please keep your hugs to other commenters on your own blob please LMFAO.... maybe I will blob about other 2 incidents with him lol...... if one day anyone reads Twaddle from the beginning, you will find many a fine blob about me twat neighbour..... me apple tree post that I cut down and it fell through the fence almost killing his wifey LMFAO... and the mini-moto :)...xxxxx

~(((dumdad)))~ HE WILL NEVER win with me.... I have my reasons, but come hell or high water, he will NEVER get one over on me :).... maybe I will share those reasons one day...xxxxx

~(((buffalo))))~ yep me LOVE our gardens, remember I was married to a 3rd generation plant nursery grower, and for the last 5 years of our marriage we owned our own nursery.... so plants are in my blood....xxxxx

~(((lisa))))~ well I just had to come over and hassle ya lol....xxxxx

~((((((((jolie))))))))~ yep, think kindness, I will remember those words when I next feel the need to rip out his spleen LMFAO....

I sooooo need a holiday, except I dont think Im up to hiking around much.... need a relaxing break somewhere with someone to run around for me LMFAO....xxxxxxx

~(((Crispy)))~ send me some over for next spring.... I have that bastard yet LOL...xxxxx

~(((Toadie))))~ :) - honestly I tried to be nice, I really did LOL...xxxxxxx

~((((ToriZ)))~ maybe I was a little mean........ nah, he is just a big tosser lol....xxxxxxxx

~((((InlandEmpireGirl)))~ I would tip the tea on his head lol..... sometimes I do smile sweetly at him and that throws him off balance lol.... and sometimes I hum that famous tune...'Ive Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts' lol...xxxxx

~(((coral))))~ fanks you for the phone call :) - I AM nice to him... I pick up all the slugs and snails in me garden and just pop them over the fence into his little pond LOL....xxxxx

~((((Helen)))~thinking ornery must be a doodle word? hope its not nasty lol I wouldnt wanna put you in time out lmfao....xxxxx

~(((the saint)~ welcome to you, and how did you get here? Im intrigued now about your hubby and your neighbour and the tree lol.....xxxxx

~(((((susan))))~ ya know what? I wouldnt like to get on the wrong side of me either lmfao..... Im harmless really..... ok, well, with some exceptions.... people here now NOT to mess with me on important issues lol..... and dont feel sorry for him, oneday I will tell you why Im on a mission then you might even feel sorry for me LOL....xxxxx

~(((((((((JBelle)))))))~LOL@British Village life - well us Brits tend to sort out our own troubles first before cops and solicitors are involved :).... and I dont think he likes crimples :) ever since I told him that we was having a crimple parking space by the council for me outside me house and if he would kindly start not parking there to get in practise for when it gets painted on the road LMFAO......xxxxxxx

~(((bina)))~ :) I do tend to get into a few strange situations BUT I can always talk me way out of them lol....xxxxx

~(((intense))))~ why fank you kindly for the beautiful poem :)...xxxxx

~(((ToriZ)))~ he is a walking mine of information .....xxxxx

~((((LIR))))~ a few years back I made dandylion wine, it took over 2 years to ferment and then we took 3 demijohns full of the wine to a barndance and drank it in 2 hours through straws LOL jebus it was so very strong it took the lining off our stomachs lol.......

I sooooooooooo need to get back to me wine making days, I can make some wicked country wines from things around the lanes.....xxxxxxx

~((((queenie))))~ LMFAO how did you guess, some of those plans are already being put into action lol....xxxxx

~((((cindy))))~ next year we.. me and me maties and me lads... are gonna plant up some tubs with dandylions and one night we will move the many tubs he has out the front and swap them as a joke for the dandy tubs lol.....xxxxxxx

~((((soul))))~ I cant do ham LOL not unless I wanna kill meself.... but I might keep that comment filed for future use LOL....xxxxx

~(((((ciara anyones for a dandilion tuft where the sun dont shine)))))~ oh sweet sweet story.... I love your kids lol..... I love em, that dont mean you can send them over here when you get fed up with them lol.....xxxxx

~(((((Starr)))))~ if I make me dandilion wine again I will bring ya over a bottle to sample lol..... me neighbour is sooooooo gullible, I think cos I can keep a straight face every time lol....LOL@you lad..xxxxxxxx

~(((((((ToriZ))))))~ you have the most super of times..... and come home safe.... and you girl are never far from my thoughts....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((pamela))))~ I think being spoilt with a nice bottle of wine and a lovely meal would be more benificial for me leg LMFAO......xxxxxx

~((((MnM)))~ are you like the clampetts? lmfao......xxxxxxx

~(((lulda casadage)))~ wlecome and who are ya? lol......please come out of the woodwork more often ;).....xxxxx

~((((((((((jolie)))))))~ I didnt smash it up, I loves me old computer lol..... it just wouldnt turn on yesterday, nuffin, bugger all..... hoping all is not lost though.... our chat chair is a tiny little pine wooden childs school chair and me bum hangs over the edge and its all I can do to reach the keyboard I KID YOU NOT lol..... its good cos it means I dont sit here for long :).... I would LOVE a proper computer chair.... NOT made of horse though lol....

:( yep, nick rang me and told me to get me scared arse down to him for a little chat lol..... so today I did.... and it was not nice, BUT he did sit with me whilst I was on THE CHAIR.... to take me mind off the pain, but just enough out of reach so I couldnt thump him one lol....xxxxxxxxx

~((((((kendra)))))~ jebus, do I feel honoured to have you here :).... this post aint funny lmfao..... well not compared with many of me other posts LOL...... and OH WE AINT FINISHED WITH HIM AND the dandylions yet lmfao...... I will keep you posted lol..xxxxxx

~(((flowerpot))))~ I LOVE the clocks of dandilions...... and I love to see the faces of me minded nippers when we pick them and blow them to see what the time is.....

Ive had physio at least twice a week since April and now its upped to 3 times a week..... its so very exhausting and hard and painful, but what choice do I have.......xxxxx

~(((((melody))))~ welcome...... there is another 'melody' that comments here, a niece of Toadies.... so now there are 3 of us lol....xxxxxx

~((((pecos)))~ across the street???? WTF are you hiding in old Mr Foots garage? should I be scared LOL.... ok I will pop over and have a butchers :)........xxxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Tom Evans)))~ welcome to you..... and tiz wrong to feel sorry for him lmfao..... maybe I will explain why at a later date as to this mission of winding him up :).......

Ok, where did you come from? :).....xxxxx

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

R
O
F
L
M
F
A
O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Casdok said...

Ill send you one of my special dandelions! I grow them so well!!
But not as a good specimin as yours though!!

nanc said...

why, dandelion greens make for a fine $20.00 salad in some spendy restaurants here in the u.s.! tell him THAT next time you see the old coot!

thanks for visiting sensible folks.

nanc

Lehners in France said...

Toastie, I'm so glad you're back on form and carrying on with the physio. Well done! I have a twat of a neighbour in England too. My nice neighbours visited last year and admitted to pouring weed killer on her ornamental Buxus when she was out LMFAO!

Some people are just gobshites aren't they!
France ((((XXX))))
P.S. I'm still cycling, but the seat keeps falling down, must be me voluuminous arse! I have to cycle with ne knees next to me ears. Not a good look. Grin.

Akelamalu said...

Good to hear you've still got your sense of humour even with all the excrutiating physio!

You are awful to your neighbour, but you do make me laugh!

Irene said...

Dandelions are the most innocent of weeds and should be treated with respect. I say, never pull out a dandelion, but let it grow where it does well, the brave little thing. Your neighbor has a Freudian complex of some kind. You should try and analyze him and approach him psychologically. That should give us all a bit of fun reading.

macurl said...

Nanc speaks the truth.Dandelions are very good eatin'& worth money That ole coot is taking food off your table and money outa your pocket book. He should be ashamed.ROTFLOL
"macurl"

thailandchani said...

Hi Marmite... thanks for stopping by my site this week. :) To answer your question, yes, I did used to comment on Wendy's site - and then she disappeared!

Your flowers are beautiful. Reminds me of one of the things I like so much about that part of the world is the beautiful flora! :)

~*

Lisa said...

Hey! I just pulled two huge carts full of weeds, not dandelions but other junk. You want I should send them to you so you can sprinkle them over the wall into your neighbor's???

I'd do that for you!

Cedar Street Kid said...

Cultivated??Well, when I was living in the Bronx, I took care of a ltttle weed growing in the middle of the sidewalk. I thought it took great courage on the weed's part to grow in that cement jungle!Besides, I send a bouquet of weeds every year to my ex-lady friends and ex-wife.

JeanneH said...

Well, Marmie - you're flowers are very beautiful...and about dandelions....try this...they aren't weeds, they are HERBS! And yes, they should be protected. They are cherished for their medicinal value, for the tea, wine, jelly, salad, and other stuff you can use them for. And they are mothers-of-small- children's favorite bouquets! Hey, they really are beautiful...as for your neighbor, I'll bet he's jealous. You could pick one that is spent, and blow those little helicopter thingies over into his yard, and next year he'll have a crop of them too! Also, regarding that lovely Hollyhock ~ when it goes to seed, simply shake it over YOUR fence and you'll have a nice plant next year too!! You are SO funny...can't wait until the next episode. So glad you're feeling better, too!! Love from Idaho, JeanneH xoxo

little wanderer said...

do you want me to start saving you all my lovely dandelions, its about the only thing i ca bloody grow LOL.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((pixie))))~ oh hush with your laffing lmfao...... :)....xxxxxxx

~((((casdok))))~ I actually love dandelions..... and I make the most amazingly strong wine from the yellow flowers.... I really need to maybe start that up again, me wine making that is from free things from the countryside..... the blackberries and sloes will soon we ready for picking down the lanes........xxxxxx

~((((nanc))))~ welcome.... I LOVE grub blobs :) - I dont think I would wanna of eaten the dandelion that was growing in front of me wall, ya dont know how many dogs might of piddled on it LOL......maybe I could mix up a lovely green leaf salad and give it to me twat neighbour as a peace offering lmfao..... and hope the dogs have piddled on them.....xxxxx

~(((((((((((France))))))))~ I couldnt face physio on Wednesday, that bloody Nick rang me and told me I had better get me arse down there on Thursday as well as Friday......... oh oh oh, I have sooooo *cough* accidently you understand, sprayed weed killer on a few of HIS plants lol....shhhhhh dont tell anyone though....

I long to be able to ride me bike again..... I do go on a bike at the hospital but its a spazmo bike with the dodgy leg side spocket thats moveable so that I can ride it with hardly any knee bend..... my fat arse swallows the saddle and it takes me a good 5 minutes to pull it out of me bum cheeks LMFAO.....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((((ake))))))~ they can take everything from me and strip me bare BUT they can never take me sense of humour :)..... I will tell you one day WHY Im on a mission with me neighbour.... lol.....xxxxxxxx

~((((irene)))))~ welcome back you :) - without the beautiful weeds in gardens and woods and parklands we wouldnt have the insects and butterflies.... I would LOVE to own some land and leave some as meadow full of wild flowers just the the butterflies and insects........xxxxx

~(((macurl)))~ welcome to the madhouse - yeah he should be ashamed, he NEEDS to be punished lmfao...... I will think of something to punish him this week LMFAO.....xxxxx

~((((thailandchani))))~ hey you, your welcome, I use to nip over to your blob via Wendys.... but never got to same your site.... but now I have found you again via, I cant remember where I saw you comment, so Ive saved ya blob link :).....

Yep most of us British love our gardens... when I was married we owned a plant nursery specializing in just 100s of varieties of alpines and 100s of cottage plants..... I will ALWAYS miss our business..... note I didnt say I will miss me X lmfao........xxxxxx

~(((((lisa))))~ you murderer you lmfao why didnt you pick the yellow flower heads and make wine? I mean, its not like you have anything else to do LMFAO hahahahah sometimes I just crease meself up ;).....xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((cedar)))))~ I LOVE you for giving a weed a life :)...... Im always one for the underdogs in life to...LOL@weed bouquets you daft sod.....xxxxxxx

~((((jeanneH))))~ well me poo buckets aint nuffin this year, usually they are a picture of beauty...... at Crimbo I plant them with red and white winter polys, then spring they have yellow and blue spring pansies and summer they usually have bright red geraniums with much dangly stuff lol..... but, this year I just shoved in a few blue, purple and white bits and bobs..... Im going to nick the seeds off the twats hollyhocks but plant them in seed trays :).... next year he is in for a shock lol.... thats if I aint moved by then.... if I have then I might just have to keep sending him THINGS in the post lmfao......xxxxxxx

~((((little wanderer))))~ lol, thats cos your a northern bird ;)..... dont you just have chimney stacks and clogs up there? ;) *giggling*.......xxxxxxxxx

OK I STILL HAVE NO PHOTOS ON THIS NEW COMPUTER AND IM STRUGGLING A BIT WITH THIS NEW VISTA THINGIE AND STILL HAVE NO SOUND... aint had the bloke out about the other computer yet either....... sigh....... much to carry this week on me shoulders...trying to keep me head above water..... whats different aye LOL..... X

Donnnnn said...

Oooh neighbours can ruin your life but who can resist the temptation to poke a dead body with a long stick?

You are a very naughty girl but I loved every second of it...and I finally stole some Hollyhocks and I will do whatever it takes and burn sacrifices to the appropriate gods to ensure that they make it...

I wonder why so many people have trouble with them..they seem to grow beautifully under conditions of abject neglect?

ChicagoLady said...

LMAO, I'll send you some dandelions from the States if you can't find enough!

Shannon said...

I'm so glad you put a picture of a poo bucket on there. I was trying to figure out just what that would look like. Do you have any Canadian thistles over there? Beautiful purple flower, but tons of thorns all over the entire plant. Your tosser neighbor wouldn't dare touch one of those!

Lu' said...

What an enjoyable read. I bopped over from Bina's blog. Your profile picture interested me.

Anonymous said...

Your not right in the head: I appreciate that.

I "cultivate" a jungle to annoy my neighbours and allow mice and foxes etc. a great place to live.

Isn't it interesting how we call those we struggle to dominate weeds.

Viagra said...

Those purple flowers are so vibrant!