Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Heather... We Loved You ... RIP

Ok....... I still need to do me crimbo post but I need to get down something that happened the weekend before last.... probably no one here to read, but this is a diary of my life events for me lads to read one day....

Sorry I aint been around, life has just been in the way..... my dear friends hubby had his brain tumour op, its not gone to well, they couldnt get it all out, so its harrowing times for this dear family... and Ive tried to be there for me matie.... me other divorcing matie is getting on me tits though.... dont even get me started on that one lol - and Im still trying to rob Peter to pay Paul, I have picked up a couple of part time nippers though so maybe things are gonna pick up soon, cos I sure know this is no way to live....existance is not living...

Anyways.....

Last month I joined a Pet site via facebook..... it was a semi rescue/selling site for pets and accessories....

Someone on there had a cocketiel and cage that they no longer wanted.... and I know my Jacob would LOVE one of these birds so I rang the number and spoke to a well nice lady in town, she said the bird was called Major and he was very tame, they just didnt have the room for him no more what with a new baby on the way..... so I arranged to go into town with my lad to have a butchers at the bird to see if it was what he wanted.....

Well, blimey, he fell in love with the dam thing.... so Major and its cage came home to live with us..... and he was/is tame... we gets him out everyday and he spends most evenings perched on someones head or on someones shoulder, he says loads of things and when no one is around during the day, Im trying to teach him 'bollocks' LOL but he aint having non of it........ he does say HELLO MAJOR and HELLO BABY and NITE NITE MAJOR..... and cos he says these things it means my Jacob had to keep his name the same....


This is Major sitting on our Sams head..

Me cats dont seem to bothered with him, oh they had a little paw at the cage the night we bought it home, but thats about all.....


I love this photo, if you look carefully to the right you can make out our fat Cat Buff staring through the bars of majors cage, thinking, just one wrong move dam bird and you're my lunch lol

So... we had only had Major for a week and eveyone loves him..... my Tom that lives with his girlfriend was besotted by him, and the following Sunday our Tom and Sammie his girlfriend turn up one Sunday morning, everyone else is in bed and he says...... Ive got an idea mum.... how funny would it be if Jacob woke up and found another bird in the cage with Major.... you know, a GIRL bird..... so I says.... what? he says, we have just been to the pet shop to get crickets for the Chamelions and they have some well cute cocketiels there..... thats it he says, before Jacob gets up Im going to go buy him another bird..... and he disappears.....


This is Major, aint he sweet.. and if he sits on ya shoulder he fiddles with ya chain round ya neck or ya earring or even fiddles with ya hair.... and he aint once did a poo whilst out of his cage :)


Jacob and Major....

Well LMFAO..... he comes back about 15 mintues later with the funniest of funny birds..... it was the fattest cocketiel I have ever seen.... its face was so fat that its beak sorta looked more like a little nose... it was so pretty though be it a little hunched back looking...... Tom picked it cos it was on its own in the aviary and was just on the floor pecking around, he said.... it looked like no one would love it so I knew it had to come here LMFAO....

I think it was to heavy to actually fly.... anyways we put it in the cage with Major and he went mental...... he was shouting.... hello baby hello baby over and over.... Jacob woke up and came down and he to was besotted with the new bird and Major by then was in LOVE..... it was so sweet, he would lay his head on the fat birds chest...

So....... the new bird was to be called HEATHER...... doodles will not understand this, but it is named after Fat Heather off of Eastenders which is a telly programme here, cos this bird looks just like Fat Heather....

It to was fairly tame, but I think its more cos it couldnt actually fly off cos it was to heavy..... but we loved fat Heather.... and Major certainly was in love with his new cage matie....

All was well for 5 days.... then Jacob got up at 6 on the Friday morning for college and he came down the stairs well quiet.... Fat Heather died mum in the night, I uncovered them this morning and she is laying on the floor of the cage... dead.....

oh no, I says...... he said, last evening she was making well funny noises and me and Tom filmed her cos it was funny, but now I come to think about it, it was probably her dying cos the noises wheren't normal.... but we just thought she was showing off to Major.....

Oh my Jacob, Im so sorry, but at least you gave her 5 days of fun and love and she did like us and she seemed happy..... what have you done with her now.... oh, I put her in a plastic carrier bag in me room, will have to bury her when I get back from college..... Tom will be sad and to think he had wasted 30 quid on a bird that only lasted 5 days.....

Well...... whilst Jacob was at college I had some things to do in town so whilst there I popped into the pet shop, cos my reckoning was that a bloody bird should last longer then 5 days, when we had looked after it proper, it shouldnt just up and die on us.... this is what happened at the pet shop......

I wander in the door and go up to the counter where a nice looking lady is standing behind the till..... I swear on my life this is the conversation that followed..

hello she says..... hello I say back... Heather is dead.. the woman looks at the other woman at the other till and turns back to me and says...... oh Im very sorry about your loss... Im really upset I say and I dont know where I stand, its all been very upsetting..... again the woman says Im so very sorry, maybe see a bereavement councillor, was Heather your mother? (she must of thought I was some nutcase that had just wandered in off the street she obviously didnt realise I was talking about Fat Heather our bird)..

Im to upset for councilling I said, I just want to swap her for something else...... blank stares from the woman..... pardon the woman says... I want to swap Fat Heather for another bird I says......... OH she says smiling... Fat Heather was a bird you bought from here, its NOT your mother?... nah its not me mother, I wouldnt swap my dead mother for the time of day, she hated me, she was more a cow then a bird I says...... with that the woman lost the plot and just burst out laffing as did her staff mate on the other till......... sorry I said but I dont think its funny, we loved Heather and you must of sold us a dodgy bird... so I would like to swap her for one that is breathing, cos our bird is dead and is not breathing.......

hahahaha the woman laffed you want to swap it for one that is breathing, now that is funny she said....... me, still with a dead straight face said...... so what do I do...

Have you got the bird, opps sorry, Fat Heather with you.........what do you think I am? mad? do you really think I would take a dead bird out with me shopping, no she is at home in a plastic recycleable carrier bag in the bottom of the fridge.....I think it is a biodegradable one and not just any old bag...I just didnt wanna put her in one that might suffocate her......... the tears were rolling down the womans face, but you said she was dead, I doubt it would make any difference what bag she was in..... out of respect I say, to Heather, she still has a soul... hence the biodegrable bag....so, I says...... what do you want me to do with Fat Heather that now resides in a carrier bag in the bottom of me fridge...... please please dont tell me you really have dead fat heather in the bottom of your fridge....... its ok I say, she is under the bag of chopped lettuce, I didnt wanna leave her on the side in the kitchen incase the cats decided to have a nibble on her.... god rest her soul......

By now the woman was in uncontrollable fits of laughter........ Im sorry you find this so funny I say, to laff at someones obvious distress about the loss of their dead fat Heather I dont find amusing....

Im sorry the woman is trying to say through muffled gulps of laffing....

Ok, the woman says....... if you could bring dead Fat Heather back to the shop you can have your money back....... we just want to swap her for one that is breathing I say.... ok she says, tears still rolling down her face....... I'll bring the dead bird back when I come to pick my boy up around 6ish... you will see she really is dead and Im not just making it up to get a different bird....

Fine the woman says......I hope Im still on shift when you come back...... and she walks away down the shop shoulders heaving with laughter...... some people can be so insensitive to others loss......

So with dead Fat Heather uncovered from underneath the mixed salad in the fridge I pick me lad up and we go back to the pet shop...... I explained to the bloke that the lady during the day said we were to bring Fat Heather back to swap her for a breathing bird...... the bloke says, Val told me to expect you... we dont usually swap animals unless they die within 48 hours of purchase...... I give him the evil eye and say.... at 30 quid Heather should of lasted more then 5 days.... you either swap my boys dead bird for another healthy breathing bird or Im gonna shove it where the sun dont shine which will be easy cos by now Fat Heather is rather stiff....he just burst out laffing and said, under the circumstances I will let you pick another one........ like you even had a choice I mumble...

So the upshot of it is that Jacob got to pick out another bird..... and I told the bloke that if this one also dies within a week it to will be bought back and swapped.....I dont think he dared argue lol

At least Heather had a lovely few loved filled days with us....... the bloke said it was to late in the day to do anything with the dead bird and he would sort it out in the morning (they send them away to find out why they died incase they have dodgy breeders that supply them) and with that he shoved Dead Fat Heather under the counter....... I just hoped that whoever came on first shift the following day didnt think someone had left them a donna kebab for their breakfast lmfao


This is our new bird, as yet unnamed...... I will get the photos of Fat Dead Heather off of our Jacobs camera and show you what a pretty funny girl she was before she died.... just aint downloaded them onto the computer yet :)

I expect thats a day in the life of a pet shop worker that wont be forgotten in a hurry :)

Sorry, but I can only be me....... I know I aint normal..... but still, I wouldnt want me any other way lol

I promise to do better in the blobbing stakes.... here and around other blobs.... please forgive me..... life aint been easy...

ok, to much Twaddle for one rather hot May morning ...

x

92 comments:

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

Hahaha! I bet they're still talking about you and Fat Heather at that pet shop! Major is very, very handsome. Is the new one a girl?

MarmiteToasty said...

yeah the new one is a girl to, like fat Heather was, not the different markings, the boy ALWAYS have the exact same markings at Major, yet the girls are completely different, more muffled colours..

I will before the summer is out, teach one of them to say 'bollocks' lol

x

buffalodick said...

You still can tell a good story! I see you are still gathering animals too!

MarmiteToasty said...

(((Buff))) I dont know why these things in life happen to me, I suppose I should learn just to keep me mouth shut lol...... yep more animals :) all waifs and strays welcome here :)

x

Lulda Casadaga said...

Too damn funny...glad you're back!
I had 2 cockatiels once. We bought a nesting box and the female laid a few eggs...but none hatched. I also had a green parrot named Rocky and once I was trying to teach him to say "gimme a kiss" and the fker bit my lip! :D

I'm sticking to my doggies these days! I love the pic with the cat in the background...will you have a naming contest for your new bird?

I'm a faitful watcher of "EastEnders", but we are about 5yrs behind...can't wait to see the "Fat Heather" character. Might have to go to their website!

Dumdad said...

This is better than the Monty Python dead parrot sketch!

Welcome back to the blogosphere (again).

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Lulda)))~ I aint never been into little birds in cages before, not since I sucked me mums love bird up the hoover pipe and it lost all its feathers due to shock lol..... but I am a little smitten with these two.....

I think Jacob is hoping they might mate and he will start a cockatiel selling empire lmfao.... and technically I cant name the girl cos they are his birds :)... xxxxxx

~((((Dumdad)))~ I know I know, I not here for yonks then back, but I need to be back here, so no matter whats going on here Im gonna be a better blobber..... will try and catch up with everyone sometime this evening....8 nippers here at the moment then have to go to town to pick my boy up from the college bus, then have to drop someone off at the hospital then will get back about 8.30ish so will have a cuppa tea then and a read, thats if the computer is free lol... xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Charles)))))~ not my husband, I aint got one of them no more... it was one of my maties hubbies, Ive childminded her children for about 7 years..... we aint giving up hope yet though....

sorry to hear about your BIL :( much love to you all..

x

Intense Guy said...

Oh my poor Fat Heather, we hardly knew ye.

Hey, if the child-minding business gets slow like it is now, you should write to the BBC and tell them you want a position writing for a tele-show.

Monty Python could have used you when they did their Dead Parrot Skit (link).

Hugs you over and over. I've missed your twaddle. :)

I hope you post a video when you get them both to shout "Bollocks!" and any other nasty things you might mutter under your breath about your ex.

Gosh, it will be "Chrimbo in July" when you get your Chrimbo post up. But it won't matter when - it will be worth the wait.

Hugs you silly with a big smile.

Toriz said...

Good to see a post from you!

I'm sorry to hear about Fat Heather, but I'm glad Major is doing well, and that the people in the pet shop saw sense and swapped the dead bird for one that was breathing.

Lena said...

Fat Hevah...? lol...Toasty, you've cheered up my Tuesday....and a bird that wanders about the house and doesn't poop is a blessing. I've tried asking the kids to do that but........?

Akelamalu said...

OMG that was just like the Monty Python dead parrot sketch! No wonder the woman was laughing. LOL

I'm sorry about Fat Heather but the new little lady is beautiful and so is Major. They're two lucky birds to be living in your house m'deario. xxxx

barefoot gardener said...

Jeez, gal! I don't know if I should be all bummed about the loss of a cute little bird or howling with laughter over your storytelling skills!

Glad you got the new bird. Here's hoping that this one stays breathing for a bit...

Deanna said...

Mel, thanks for the bitchslap. I knew I could count on you!

Sorry about your friend's hubby. That just stinks.

And poor Heather. I laughed til I cried. Did she eat herself to death? You really ought to return to the pet store and 1) scare them, thinking you are returning another dead bird; and 2) find out what Heather died of.

Maybe my coffee cup will inspire the Crimbo post. Oh never mind... you have no need of inspiration!

Glad you are minding a few kids. Maybe things will begin looking up.

Jen said...

Oh my goodness. There are so many people telling stories about you. Nothing like a dead bird to make someone laugh, I always say.

I had parakeets for a while. We had one named Sydney who loved popcorn. She once flew out of her cage and right into a huge bowl of popcorn. We let her have that one and made a new one for us!

Sparkless said...

I'm so sorry to hear about fat Heather. Funny story though. hee hee You should see our kitten's paw. It's as big as a catchers mitt. Silly kitten won't be messing with wasps again anytime soon. LOL!

Lynn said...

Im sorry about your friend with the tumor.

That is so sad about your fat Heather, at least her last days was with your wonderful family and her Major.

Hopefully the new bird will live for a long time and everyone will be happy ever after :o)

Good luck with your jobs too, life is so tough for alot of folks.

LadyStyx said...

Dam. I saw the title and came in thinking you were mourning over the loss of me to Facebook and I toddle in to find you in a tizzy over a dead birdie. I don't know whether I should be heartbroken or hysterics from laughing.

.oO(I chose the latter, you've been sorely missed)

Flowerpot said...

So glad to see you back again marmie! So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend but what a lovely post otherwise!

jolie-jordan said...

Great story...I could just see you standing there demanding a new bird in exchange for the dead one.

Poor Fat Heather and more so Major losing her...or do you think he popped her off so he could get a new younger, thinner model? He is male, afterall. LMAO

Glad to see you back with a post and glad you have a bit more work. Money is sparce here too. I even came out of retirement and have a half time job.

So sorry about your friends husband. It sure doesn't sound good for him. I'm sure your friendship means a lot to them.

Glad to see that you haven't lost you funny bone what with all the shit that has been hitting your fan. Is your neighbor guy still alive? You can always look forward to torturing him. LOL

Love you girl.
J-

Elaine said...

You are such a nutty bugger, but we all love you that way.

If you ever EVER put a fucking budgie (or whatever it was) in my fridge, I'd throw you out with the bloody rubbish!

Word Tosser said...

Sorry, but I can only be me....... I know I aint normal..... but still, I wouldnt want me any other way lol

And neither would we want you any other way....

You know that is a thought, you could do BBC...You should send them this story and see what they say...and then we can say... we knew her when...

Cindy said...

Oh my word, that was hysterical- no disrespect to Fat Heather intended. I laughed till I cried. We had birds once when the kids were little. One afternoon I let one out to fly around and the cat got it- leaped right up in the air and grabbed it. He never would have eaten it but the poor bird died of fright. I had to rush to the pet store and buy another one that looked just like it so the kids wouldn't know. Never told them until the other day in fact.
Glad to see you back blogging! I posted a couple new pictures this afternoon if you get a chance to stop by.

D said...

You do know those birds live for ages and don't swap owners easily don't you ;-)

charlotte said...

Thank you I just loved this post.

Pamela said...

poor bird. I bet that is why she was all fat & puffy... sick.

I guess you gave them the bird. the dead one.

Lisa said...

Mel only you can make people laugh about death!! Did you tell the lady that you gave Fat Heather mouth-to-beak before declaring her dead?? With a straight face of course.

I've missed you, dear friend. Don't go away like that again, okay? Naturally, you come back out of the woodwork just when I'm heading back into school.

Lady in red said...

So you thought if you were back I should be too ha ha.

When I lived at home my dad had parrots......the first one Harry (female) was a great mimick always talking but the second one Sam never spoke but he was tame and spent a lot of time on my dad's shoulder although I was terified of his beak and claws.

this reminded me of the monty python sketch too.

Cedar Street Kid said...

My goodness, MT, that was funny. So sorry about your loss, but it was funny. Hope your new bird has a long, happy life.

B.R.M said...

There is always an adventure and story in your world.

Good Story Teller you are!

TN Becky

Lil ol' me... said...

Hey, Marmie...I guess I've got to be proper when commenting on your blogsite or I could risk having a cold, stiff, dead cockatiel rammed up where my doctor recently examined me. I said, "Doctor, I don't know you that well, do I?" Well, instead of a glass of wine after our 'intimacy' the doctor handed me a wipe. At that point, I'd lost all dignity, and so now I'm shameless.

I lost one of my parakeets the other day...the green one...I thot the cage was properly closed, but no it wasn't, and I had the door open so I could get some fresh air into my house. And I can still see that green parakeet zooming out of my house. My guess is, by now, some old black crow had a really great afternoon snack, courtesy of my green parakeet. I went to the pet store and got another parakeet. This one is blue on the chest and black on the feathers; I have another bird like that, except my new 'keet (budgie?) has a yellow head instead of white.

I hope you send me a picture of Fat Heather. I'm interested in seeing exactly how fat she was. How about that...a bird that's actually an old cow...

Mickle in NZ said...

Dear, dear Marmy/Mel - well done for this! 30 quid! For a Cockatiel? - I'd be wanting a full pedigree certificate at that price, plus free vet checkups for 5 years and a decent discount on birdy food; as well as a full replacement guarantee.

Super bestests with the new birdie and Major - bollocks is such a wonderful word!

Sending love and care, huge admiration, and many, many huggles,

Michelle and Zebbycat, xxx and little Zebby snores from under his "blankie"

In_spired said...

Oh My, Mel! You can relate such funny stories in the face of tragedies. I envy you that talent. Yes, well do I know about "life being in the way". That's the way it has been with me. But I've made up my mind...I've GOT to get back to writing on my blog. It was so good to see your comments! Thank you for inspiring me. Love you, Girl. Let's both try to be a "little more often"

Robin said...

I haven't been 'round for so long.

Jay and I split up and I've been pretty much lost.

I've loved this story. You always have in your 'rear-view', sights on your sons and what they love. They are so lucky in that.

I hope someday you find a small space for yourself.

Should you have to leave your cottage and want a piece of America (and I don't know why you would) I have a small room to let.

It comes with a crazed Golden Retriever, a gorgeous view of the lake and maybe a five hour drive from Jolie.

Unless her tent has become a reality, in which case she'd best come here.

Take care, Mel. I may not be around as much but I care.

Love,

!R

Go Figure said...

MT: Ya shuld have jst punched the bloke when he laughed. Hard...in the nose.

buffalodick said...

Where's the new post you promised? How much mileage are you trying to get out of a dead bird? HeeHeeHee..

Maggie May said...

Do you think Fat Heather died of shock because of something the Major said or did?
You know what those majors can be like.

This was an unbelievably funny post. I never know what I'm going to find when I come over here, but I'm glad I did.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

jolie-jordan said...

19 days and counting. I may fly over to jolly old England to wring your neck and kick-start you. You are so neglecting your poor blog.

Glad you stop by mine now and again else I wouldn't know you are still alive.

Congrats on the happy news for
"Imdependence Day" You will be so filled with joy and I too...for you.

Love you girl friend and you are right we are so very much alike only you are the funny one.

J-

MarmiteToasty said...

Bloody hell where have the weeks gone.... so so much to tell :) - was gonna try and Twaddle over the weekend but was appointed an overgrown allotment in the week and we have been up there much of the time trying to clear it IM SO EXCITED you would not believe, the saddo that I am lol - see how low maintenance I am - thought I would of been snapped up years ago LMFAO hahaha

~((((Iggy))))~ first off can i just say the beautiful orchid you sent me is STILL in full bloom, its the most amazing plant EVAHhhh :)

LOL@write for the BBC, I can only do real life stuff.... HUGZZZ backatcha...xxxxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((ToriZ)))~ my life is jumping from one thing to another of late, Major is loving his new woman lol....xxxxx

~(((Lena))))~ tell me about the man/boy shit around the house lol..xxxxx

~((((Ake)))))~ I darent show me face in that pet shop no more lol.... and arrhh fanks, dont know about lucky though lol...xxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((barefoot))))~ I can only say it as it is lol...... and yes, the new bird is still alive :).....xxx

-(((Deanna)))~ I love bitchslapping lol - I think Heather might of been a bit of a phlid when Tom bought her, she always was weird lol... the crimbo post is STILL to come :)...xxxxxx

~(((Jen))))~ Im wondering if its best to move right away where no one knows me :) LOL@popcorn....xxxxxx

~(((Sparkless))))~ oh poor kitty :).. daft sod lol...xxxxxxx

~(((Lynn)))~ sigh my friend has started his further treatment, just have to see what the coming weeks bring... xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((LadyStyx)))~ LOL@mourning....xxxxx

~(((Flowerpot)))))~ my friends hubby aint gone yet :) .......xxxxxxxx

~(((Jolie)))~ the funny thing was when I took the bird back with my Jacob in tow, he just stood there and didnt bat an eyelid, like he is use to my behaviour lol... Bloody work aye..... were still ticking though :) and the world can strip me of everything, but never my sense of humour :)....love you to..xxxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Elaine)))))~ I aint nutty, to me Im normal its the rest of ya thats crazy lol.... and we have had much worse in our fridge....lol..xxxxx

~((((Tosser)))~ I so laff when I type your name lmfao... you like me crazy cos your just as mad lol...the BBC wouldnt wanna know my rubbish ya numpty :)..xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Cindy)))))~ bless Fat Heather, LOL@died of fright... I had a canary years ago which grew a lump under its wing, so I took it to the vet and he held it in the palm of his hand and asked what the problem was.... by now me bird had fallen asleep in his hand, I told him what the problem was and he then said..... problem solved.... I said 'that was quick' he said.... yep, cos its died of fright LOL.... he shoved it in a box and gave me it back lmfao....xxxxxxxx

~((((D)))))~ blimey, then Jacob had better take the dam birds with him when he eventually leaves home lol I dont want em :)....xxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Charlotte)))~ welcome to the madhouse lol...xxxx

~(((Pamela)))~ poor me, sod the bird lol...xxxxxx

~(((Lisa)))~ DONT talk about mouth to mouth, I tried that on our stick insect once and I blew its stomach up til it popped lol... missed you to... life has just got in the way :( but we are still bobbing lol...xxxxx

~((((LIR)))~ yes just cos Im a shit blobber that dont give you the right to be one to lol...xxxx

~(((((Cedar)))))))~ it was funny seeing my lads face when I told him to get the dead bird out the fridge under the lettuce lmfao....xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((BRM))))~ hugs to you :) - thought everyones life was filled with rubbish like mine - please say it is lol....xxxxxx

~(((lil old me)))~ that reminds me of that joke about the bloke going to the doctors with an ice cube up his bum, the doctor says oh my thats big, the bloke says 'thats just the tip of the iceberg' LOL

:( Sorry you lost your parakeet, ya numpty never leave a door open lol.... we even cover up the open chimney incase it flies up it lol....xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Mickle)))))~ 30 quid is cheap for a bird of that quality lmfao.... well, not a dead one of course.. I bet they are 2 a penny where you live..

aint bollocks just the bestest word, and has so many meanings :) - much love to you and zebby..xxxxxx

~(((((In-Spired))))~ there was me telling you to get your arse back to blobbing and Im a poor excuse for a blobber lol....xxxxxxx

~(((((Robin)))))~ I know you and Jay split up, please drop me an email when you can.... so sorry to hear it, so very sorry....

I do have a good handle of what me lads like, even though they are men/boys... we are very very close... yes we have some hum dinger times, but when it comes to the crunch we are tight...and you are to sweet about letting me a room :) you never know, I might just turn up on your doorstep one of these days......xxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((((((Go Figure))))))))))~ I DONT punch..... only as a last resort..... I kill people with my words lol... the only time I would punch someone nowadays is if they hurt one of my boys.... or my chicken lol....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((Buff)))))))))~ swap shoes with me for a week and you will see why I aint been around.... I have SOOOooo much to tell :).....soon....xxxxxxxx

~(((((Maggie May))))))~ I think she was a phlid to begin with, that is why my Tom picked her cos she was different lol.....xxxxx

~(((((((((((Jolie)))))))))))~ oh shut it you daft cow.... I was gonna blob last week or weekend, but I had me consultant, then jacobs birthday and then the other hospital then was given me allotment then kids to sort out, then other shit..... so hush ...

and Indenpendce day is just but a few short weeks away..... Im gonna spill the beans over the coming next few days :).....

I aint the funny one you are lmfao...... love you, ya know that right? :).......xxxxxxxxx

jolie-jordan said...

All I'm gonna say is sit yourself down in front of that computer of yours and start writing a post...over a month again waiting and waiting. Are you sure you haven't hooked up with some fella? I know that NEW LOVE is grand and all that crap but come on spare a minute or two for your friends. We already don't think the bumb will be good enough for you.

And you...must be a guy. Has he turned yer mind off? Don't give me too busy with life BS. I am a jealous friend and I figure you can never be too busy to keep in touch with me. What if I was to die or some gawd awful thing? Then you'd be sad about your neglect.

And no I am not a sad-sack...I just miss you.

SO...

All I'm gonna say is sit yourself down in front of that computer of yours and start writing a post...over a month again of waiting and waiting. I am not one known for my patience...you know.

Kick those lads off the computer why don't ya?

Love you my neglectful friend.

Jolie

Go Figure said...

MT: Don't punch? That is the problem with today's world a bunch of pacifists and their attorneys! Give me a good old brawl any day of the week! (Well, actually one good, hard, punch to the nose generally will end the discussion--I don't know if that is technically a brawl) HA!

ciara said...

awww poor fat heather. :o( i know she had more love in those 5 days from you all, then in all her life. have ya named the new one yet? cos obviously you can tell i ain't been blob hopping lately since i'm just NOW reading this :o/ haha i know where to go now when i become old, useless, and no one wants me: i'm coming to live w you :p~

buffalodick said...

Write something, even if it's wrong...

goatman said...

Its always something . . . but yours seem to be funnier!!

Slip said...

Hey toasty, long time for me, sorry! Retirement has kept me busy.

WithinWithout said...

You're just a bird brain! All the best. Hope it all works out!

Robin said...

It's July, Mel.

Love you....

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

Mel's computer has crashed :( She sent me a message via her phone and asked that I post to her "blob" that she has so much to tell everyone, but no computer at the moment. Not sure how long it will be..... :(

jolie-jordan said...

Thanks you...backtobasicliving. I feel so much better now that I know she is alright.

We miss you Mel...love you too. I hope you have your computer up real soon.
J-

Lisa said...

Oy! Where's the new post you've promised me?? Don't you know that Marmy withdrawals can be life (and sanity) threatening?? I've been holding my breath, but cyanotic blue isn't a great color on me!

Casdok said...

Very funny.
But sorry to hear about your friend.

Deanna said...

I'm seriously missing you Mel. Hope you are doing ok.

The Mistress of the Moonlight said...

Hey, Marmie, do you get the People's Friend magazine? I am looking for used copies for a friend from the UK who lives by me. Anyone else? Thanks, M

PinkAcorn said...

Sorry about your friends hubby..and poor Heather. Glad Major has a new love...and your still bloggin..I've pootered out.colalla

Elaine said...

C'mon Mellie.....get your arse over here, will ya?

Go Figure said...

MT: Enough already! Let Heather RIP! Ha.

SylphSong said...

Only 4 months til Christmas... better get that Crimbo post up!

MarmiteToasty said...

Goodness....... I very much doubt there is anyone around to read this..... testing 1 - 2 - 3

So much to write about and so little time yet more time then Ive ever had in me life... ok I know that dont make sense to you but it will all in good time....

My very bested good friend Blobber Buff died suddenly a few short weeks ago..... he over the years inspired encouraged me with his kindness and his nagging emails LOL..

I see he has left a comment down below which I will reply to but he will never read..... his death hit me so very hard, and one of the reasons I have found it hard to blob on Twaddle.... and everytime I *still go to his blob* I end up in tears..... how can that happen.... I never met Buff or his wonderful family but I felt I knew them all personally through his amazing food blob.... tears now even as I type this..... I so miss him, so very much.....

x

MarmiteToasty said...

So, lets get this blob back on the road.... those were the words in Buffs last email to me, he nagged me senseless, and now I feel I have failed him so much.... so very much...

~(((Jolie)))~ I know you understand how I feel...and NO its not a bloke, and NO I aint got married, but something wonderful has happened which I will explain in a Twaddle post in the next day or so...

I miss you to and everyone else... someone just needs to bitchslap me lol... know you are loved... xxxxxx

~(((GoFigure)))~ ok let me rephrase that - I CAN punch if I have to, but I would use it as a last resort... and it would take a LOT to push me to that 'last resort' :) - now - as a youngster and being a bit of a tomboy I could hold me own with any boy at school especially if someone picked on my younger brother or friends lol..xxxxxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Ciara)))~ yeah poor Evahhhh lol... but Major loves his new girlfriend, she is a bit quiet though compared to him, but I suppose most blokes like quiet shy girls, maybe thats why Im on me own LOL...and, dear you, you would be welcome here anytime...xxxxxxxx

~((((((((((((Buff)))))))))))~ my dearest friend who will never get to read this.... Im sorry, Im sorry you wont be around no more for all the lovely people that loved you so, and for your family.... I will miss you so much and I didnt even get to tell you my good news.... nor that our old 14 year old cat is actually named BUFF... nor or the wonderthings we use to talk about.... Im sorry I couldnt reply to this post here.... Im sorry you had to fucking die on us all and on yourself.... I so FUCKING SORRY..... love you matie RIP dear beautiful you....xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((goatman)))))~ I so try to be normal, but it dont come ease lol.... long time no see dear you.. hope you are well....xxxxxxx

~((((Slip)))))~ my goodness, is that really you.... we must catch up soon.... Ive missed you hanging around :)... hope life is treating you well....xxxxxx

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

OH Mel - I am so, so sad to hear about Buff :( It just breaks my heart. (((hugs))) to you. This is just too sad.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((Shake it all about)))))~ oh my, tiz you, my dear Canadian friend.... so lovely to see you here.. least you didnt up and die on us like our dear Buff.... your bloody stroke though must of been a bit of a bummer.... will try and catch up with you to soon :).... much love to you, ya nutter :)....xxxxxxx

~((((((((Robin))))))))~ please sent me the key to get into your new place..... love you to girl.....xxxxxxx

~((((basicliving))))~ fanks for that.... I did good though cos I sussed and sorted it out meself and for someone that is a complete computer spazmo, I was well a bit chufted :).....xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Jolie)))))~ Im alright, I aint died.... yet.... maybe just a little inside..... life aye.... its what we sign up for.... good and bad, happy and sad times..... love you girl....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))~ I know I know - just call me a blobbing slagbag.... you should see my withdrawals, they have been worst then when I had to give up sherbet dips LOL....xxxxxx

~((((Casdok))))))~ my dear friend is still hanging on.... its been very hard for everyone.... but its not over til the fat lady sings and I aint singing yet :).....xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Deanna))))))~ Ive missed you and our little family of blobbers..... I trying to slowly catch up with everyone, Im afterway down me list... I'll be over to catch up soon..... see, I cant just read the NOW POSTS on peoples blobs I have to get a cuppa tea and biscuits and scroll back to where I fell off :)....xxxxxxxxxx

~((((Mistress)))~ hey yep that magazine is still in prodcution.... its usually what the 'old fogies' buy though lol... I dont actually know any of my friends that would buy it lol... its the sort of thing one finds in an old doctors waiting room lol.... but I dont mind buy a copy every month when it comes out and posting it to you.... as long as I can buy it in disguise lol will have to don dark glasses and a mac or something lmfao.... drop me your address and leave it to be so suss and sort out........xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Pinkacorn))))~ Well I nearly fell of the face of the earth, but me ingrown toenails got stuck on the edge and I was left hanging :) - now, YOU GET BACK TO YOUR WONDERFUL BLOB.. or you will have me to answer to...xxxxx

~((((Laney))))~ soon.... bare with me....xxxxxxxx

~((((((((((((Go-Figure)))))))))))~ my other dear nagging friend lol......xxxxxx

~((((((SylphSong))))))~ I know I know.... cant believe we are also at crimbo and still I aint done me crimbo post from last year lmfao...... soon, any day now :).....love you girl....xxxxxxxxxx

Eastendmom said...

So glad to see you back at last Mel; so sorry for the loss of your great friend Buff. What a shock. It takes a long time to get your head around losing someone so suddenly. Hope the warm welcome you're getting here from all your blob pals helps a bit.

jolie-jordan said...

Marmie,

Three weeks since your last comments and still no post. I'm thinking of ending my blog too. Not the same as when everyone was communicating and we shared interests and news. i guess bloggers are like other people in the snail world. We move on.

J-

Lena said...

Hi Toasty - just a quick visit to see if you're blobbing again. You're still around so that's good!
x

Intense Guy said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

:) Hope YOUR day was a special one!!

Jen said...

Oh, at least they had 5 wonderful days together. Hope you post an update soon. Now I'm wondering how the new one got along with Major.

B.R.M said...

Missing you Marmie!

TN Becky

Bina said...

I love your stories, and I can't believe you haven't written any for so long! I hope you and your family are okay. Please come back.

jolie-jordan said...

Happy Birthday Mel. I hope you read this and know that many of us still think of you.

Love you...Jolie

MarmiteToasty said...

ok ok ok I know.... I'll explain one of these days....

-((((Eastendmom))))- well the back at last didnt last long did it LMFAO...

many many reasons why I havent been able to Twaddle, some good and some not so good, Im sure it will all come out in the wash though...

Buff dying knocked me off me feet, and then it seems to of been one thing after another..

I have so much I need to get down in writing.... but something always over the past months have cropped up stopping me... fanks for caring.... xxxxxxxxx

~((((((((((((Jolie)))))))))))~ my darling friend.... please bare with me, I will NEVER leave ya girl.. I will NEVER move on from you...xxxxxxxxx

~((((Lena))))))~ Ive still alive, hanging by a thread most of the time but still here....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((((((Iggy))))))))))))))~ fanks matie, love you..xxxxxxxxx

~((((Jen)))))~ fanks so much for Reggies beautiful little gifts and me socks lol.....xxxxxx

~(((((((((((((BRM))))))))))))~ Im missing everyone to... please bare with me...back soon.....xxxxxxxx

~((((((((Jolie)))))))))~ love you and fanks.... I'll explain everything in the next few days....xxxxxx

Toriz said...

Hi Mel!

Just popping in to say, "hi," (which I already said) and to make sure you know I'm still about, still watching for a new post from you (like that promised Christmas post... Which at this rate will be posted after next Christmas), etc.

jolie-jordan said...

Mel, come to my new blog and be the first to do the Meme.

I so dammed miss you. I go between being mad at you for not writing and worried about you and missing you. I ask myself how you and Buff could be so much a part of my life one day and be gone out of it so fast. I'll simply be totally broken-hearted if Robin disappears too.

I am a whiny wench today. It is gray, cold and rainy here and I am sick of coming here to see the Heather post.

Time for tea...I ain't getting any sympathy.

Love you even if I am mad at you right now.

Jolie

Oh...Here's the new blog address
http://jackotorrgmailcom.blogspot.com/

Lulda Casadaga said...

OK, Marmie ole girl... it is now NOVEMBER!!...come out, come out, wherever you are...we miss you!
Out of sight but not out of mind. :)

basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

Didn't you promise us a Crimbo post ...... from 2009??????? Just askin' is all.......

Anonymous said...

Great story, though I felt bad for Fat Heather. I hope you have been well and keep up the great writing, it was fun to read, except of course what happened to Fat Heather. The Stickman

Shady said...

i have a papagal 2 , and it is vert nice. like it

Michael said...

LMFAO

Too funny, Mel. We once had two cockatiels named Peep and Repeep, and bloody Peep pecked the life outta Repeep one overnight, and we found the newly one-eyed poor git in the morning laying on his back pointing his stiff little bird legs toward the sky LOL.

Binned Repeep, and once Peep buggered off, binned him too, done and dusted with the whole aviary lot :-)

el chupacabra said...

Mel, I hope you're OK. everybody in Texas has been askimg about you...