What Are You Like With That Camera - Part III

Ok.........Things are still very much up in the air here, Im very scared as to what is going to happen and how things are going to turn out, I cant be a crimple, not now in life when its suppose to be 'my time' after struggling raising me lads on me own for all these years..... but...hospital 3 times last week plus once with my Sam cos he broke his Shoulder Blade and tore the ligaments the week before - So I need to shove this post up to make the story almost complete, and to keep me a little sane..... its been a difficult weekend and at times I thought I was loosing the plot of life and found meself spiralling down into a depressed state and so very very tearful and frightened and lonely.......so I thought I would sit here for a bit and write.....so me lads one day will have a complete picture of this time in me life....

Soooooooo........after me op I slept for much of the rest of the day, awaking about teatime, but not really up to eating......ya know... no eating equals NO BEDPANS lol well thats how I see it in my daft head....

I did find I was fitted with a new toy though, it was a morphine machine where I had a button to control me own drugs..... wooooo hoooooooo except ya could only have a top up every 6 minutes.... dam and bugger...... oh how I loved those few morphine drugged up 'away with the fairy' days lol - when off the morphine drip thingie and when the drug trolley use to come round and they would ask if I wanted any painkillers...... hell yes I would say, and if no one wants theirs then Im open to taking them off their hands as well....cos I could get a good price on the street corner for them..... but alas they would not let me do that......but it did make them smile..... everyone else seemed so quiet compared to me lol



This was the drug trolley round...... it was strange, cos over the course of the 8 days of me being in hospital there was some familiar faces of the staff from when I was in 4-5 years ago having me other knee's ligaments replaced..... so that in itself was a little comforting seeing as how on the inside I was still very frightened....but the strangest thing of all was that they remembered me, and remembered me name LOL I mean, how many hundreds of people have they seen over the past 4-5 years yet they still remembered me LOL

when I looked around, the little old 'dead looking' people didnt look so scarey as they had yesterday..... maybe it was in the light of another day or maybe its cos they were sitting up and talking..... the old dear next to me was actually really lovely, she was called Anne and the little lady opposite was named Edna, and they was well chatty, and me being in a bit of a drugged up state was me normal loonie self.... and as I looked to the left there was the other woman that looked like she was in her 50s and she waved at me and said her name of Lynn...... so I smiled but me mind was saying....... gawds sake ladies, this aint no knitting circle we are at, or club for the elderly, we so aint gonna be visiting each other once we leave, but I smiled and chatted and they for some reason seemed to like me...... I get on well with little old people, I think cos, believe it or not I have the patience of a saint and time to listen, and I actually really do find some old people very interesting and very willing to talk to me about the good old days.....

Getting to sleep was hard that night, again the noises but added with the pain and sleeping on me back I dont like..... but I couldnt get out of bed for I had no choice but to put up and shut up lol.....

Friday was a strange day, I seemed to sleep most of it away, until after teatime (which again I just couldnt eat)...... so, drugged up and with no pain I was right proper chatty, ya know, sometimes ya just have to make the most of the place ya in, and the old dears were actually nice, so I was saying that maybe the ones that were able to walk could maybe drag us bedbound ones out down to the Seafront (Haslar is right on the harbour side) and push our beds onto the Gosport Ferry over to Portsmouth and we could go clubbing........ well I think I must of stirred memories for some of them cos within minutes the noise level seemed to get real high and they was laffing and joking and sort of in a make believe world of their own LOL and I was stirring a little more lol.... THEN........ dam and bugger....I was laffing so much that for the first time since me op I NEEDED A WEE.... oh dam, oh bugger, NOOOooooooo this cant be happening...... Edna asked me what was up and I said, dam I need a wee and it was okay for them cos they all had 'Auntie Morris's (then I had to explain AGAIN what Auntie Morris was)...and they laffed even harder lol....

Well ya see, the problem was that the 'nursie' person that was on Friday evening was actually a chappie called 'A' and he was 22 and oh so funny and use to be a drug taker and was full of tattooes and had turned his life around and was training to be a paramedic, and was just so very funny and swore like a trooper but was just 'normal' BUT.... there was no way on this earth I was gonna let him see me landing flaps on no bedpan.......... BUT bloody gobby Edna was laffing and calling him and he was laffing and I SAID NO WAY.... he said Mel you have no choice you aint allowed out of bed....... I said..... get me a frame and I will manage, which he laffed hysterically at me and called me stubborn..... SO I HAD A PLAN....... I asked him to get me one of those chair loos LMFAO.... ya know like the Queen probably used, I said if he got me one of those I could somehow get out of bed and use that...... he was laffing and said there is no way I would be able to do that cos I WAS NOT ALLOWED out of bed.....just get me it I said and pull the curtains around and get me a newspaper to read and I will be fine.......

Christ, how I got out of bed I will never know, with me strapped up leg and me drains dangling on the floor, and drugged up to the heavens, I was laffing and ouching and everyone kept asking if I was ok and I said IM FINE just leave me be, Im reading me paper lmfao....... it was funny, it did break the quietness and stirred up these little old ladies even more into a frenzy lol and when I actually managed to do a tiny wee after about 30 minutes, I sang....... Land Of Hope and Glory (which is a famous british hymn).... so for the next hour we laffed and giggled and the nurses at the station had to keep coming down our end to tell everyone to be quiet..... but a couple did come over to me and whisper 'what have you done to put a spark back into these people'.....

The only thing is........ they expelled me and Lynn from that end of the ward HAHAHAHAHAHA..... during the night they moved our beds down to the other end of the ward LMFAO...... I awoke to find meself amongst different old people...... they said it was to even up the numbers down one end of the ward, but I think it was cos I/we (me and Lynn) nearly caused a riot LMFAO.....and some were on the verge of having a heart attack......

So Margrete opposite me said...... Oh Im so glad they threw you out from that end, we could hear all the noise last night and the laffing and we wanted some of the action lmfao and now here you are down our end..... bloody hell..... I was NOT the paid entertainment ya know....

During Saturday, I was very quiet, not cos of being moved just cos I didnt feel to good, and as the day progressed I got sicker and sicker and by mid afternoon I was wellabit poorly, with such a fever and shaking and feeling cold and just feeling 'out of it'...... so they called for 'Captain Wills'...... now if only I was in a right state of mind...... Captain Wills was the Doctor that was called up from the army ward cos I was so very poorly, and they was a little concerned as to me well being........



Here he is in all his 'Mmmmmmmmmm drop dead gorgeousness' LOL.... so for the next couple of hours he monitored me and everyone was jealous cos he was so lovely and dashing and spoke right proper queens english and was a Captain to boot LOL.....he listened to me heart with his red stethescope (which he left on me table and which I now have here at home as a sovenier lol - ok ok so it accidently fell into me wash bag) - and by early evening when I was past caring a decision was made to whisk me back into theatre and have a scrape around and removed any yuckyness that might of been causing infection and a fever...... so they removed the first 7 inches of staples and had a fiddle around and put me in a tiny little side room for the rest of the night on me own but with a one to one nurse..... why does nuffin ever just go 'normal' with me...... gawds sake.......

Again I lost to much blood in theatre and here is 'A' finding it very funny giving me a top up........



'A' did laff and say..... you and that dam camera, you are well poorly yet still you have ya camera going lmfao....

Do you know they use ya own blood from the drain from ya knee to top up ya blood supply....well first they do and then I needed a top up with someone elses lol - see a right bloody little bleeder I am....

Ok, enough boring Twaddling rubbish for a Monday, Ive got an appointment at the hospital........ except for me hospital appointments, I aint been out the house but once since coming home from hospital, aint very mobile, and its scarey, and Im becoming very isolated and a bit of a hermit now and not wanting to really see anyone....or talk to anyone,,... sigh..... what a pickle aye.... what a dam bloody pickle I find meself in.........

No hand to hold here, no encouraging words...... and its those little things that gives one spirit and hope.... neither of which I have at the moment...

One last little post to come and thats it, done and dusted and written for me lads to read once Im dead and gone...lol

x