It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...

Ok........ you have to understand that I dont really cook on a Saturday............ I mean cook like a proper dinner with all the trimmings....... Its my day of rest from the cooker or stove as me doodles maties seem to call it, which to me is sooooooooo 1930s lol...... anyways....... there is loads of rubbish in the freezer(meaning pizzas and stuff) and loads of fresh bread and cheese and pickles and hams etc in the fridge, so its not like I leave me lads barren and starving...... its just THEY HAVE TO SUSS AND SORT THEMSELVES OUT.......they aint babies no more *gawds sake* dont look at me like Im a bad mother lol......

But....... last evening I had this urge come over me...... an urge that grew and grew........ it became a craving and no matter how much I told meself that it was not needed, something inside of me just took over and IT WAS NEEDED......... I craved for a 'Chinky Take-away' (this term is NOT meant to offend anyone - it is what it is called here, its what everyone calls the little take-away up the road, even the little chinese man that works in the iron-mongers calls it that, so its not meant to be offensive to anyone OK)... anyways, so I wander into me little lounge where I find 2 of me lads and one of their girlfriends..... arh good me thinks, just the 4 of us, that wont be to expensive........ Who wants a Chinky, I say........... you must understand that we dont often get take-away anything in this house, its a rare treat...... so of course the answer was yes.... great I thought.......... so we ploughed through the 'Lucky Star' menu that we found under the phone....... its from 2 years ago LOL....... oh well it couldnt of gone up that much in price......

Had terrible feelings of guilt come over me, how could we order this wonderful treat without included me 2 lads that were not there......... well I figured one of me lads couldnt eat it anyways, he is still suffering from a double broken jaw and still has his mouth wired together to try and get the plates now inserted in his jaw to set....... so I thinks he CANT have any anyways........ So we order over the phone........

2 Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls with SS Sauce and BBQ Sauce....

2 Chicken Kung Po (which I will hasten to add I LOVE WITH A PASSION)

1 Special Fried Rice (which I cant have cos its got ham in and we all know that eating ham will kill me stone dead lol)

1 Singapore Chow Mein (which is well scrummy BUT the tossers put ham in it GGggrrrr)

2 portions of chips LMFAO yep chips

and a bag of prawn crackers.....

So all in all it was a feast to our eyes.........and at just over $60 we didnt think it to bad to feed 5 of us....

So I goes and picks it up...... gets the plates out, dishes it up for the 5 of us.......... THEN I had this wonderful brill idea.......... my Ben (you know the one with the broken jaw) LOVES chinky food, so I dish the feast up on 6 plates........ leaving one on the side for him when he comes in ....... we stuff ourselves with our supper..... I take our plates out to the kitchen, only to come face to face with the extra plate put by for Ben...... THINKING CAP ON........ of course he cant eat it, his jaw is wired shut......... but he CAN of course he can IF I liquidize it in the blender, then he can suck it up through a straw, right? LOL............ so I shove it in the blender and get this thick goop, goop is the only word to describe what I was looking at.... I know I will add the SS Sauce that will make it thin enough to go through a straw, right?........ there :) done...... a lovely cup of cold liquidized chinese food :)

An hour later me lad comes in, and the conversation went like this........

Son: Hey mum, Im starving is there anything I can eat...

Me: Yeah, there is a bowl of stuff in the fridge, ya just have to zap it in the microwave...

Son: Ok, but it dont smell to good...

Me: Oh its fine you will LOVE it, your favourite...

ding ding ding ping

Son: Mum, what exactly is this 'stuff'...

Me: Its kung po, chicken balls in batter chips rice prawn crackers chow mein...

Son: Mum I really think you need to be seeing someone, you know, one of them NUT DOCTORS......ARE YOU MENTAL......

So it went in the bin and he opened a tin of Lentil Soup and slurped it rather loudly through his straw..... I think he was making a statement LOL..............

I WAS JUST TRYING ME BEST....... THATS ALL......... no pleasing some people......


OK - way more then enough Twaddle......

Fanks x