Sunday, 25 February 2007

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...

Ok........ you have to understand that I dont really cook on a Saturday............ I mean cook like a proper dinner with all the trimmings....... Its my day of rest from the cooker or stove as me doodles maties seem to call it, which to me is sooooooooo 1930s lol...... anyways....... there is loads of rubbish in the freezer(meaning pizzas and stuff) and loads of fresh bread and cheese and pickles and hams etc in the fridge, so its not like I leave me lads barren and starving...... its just THEY HAVE TO SUSS AND SORT THEMSELVES OUT.......they aint babies no more *gawds sake* dont look at me like Im a bad mother lol......

But....... last evening I had this urge come over me...... an urge that grew and grew........ it became a craving and no matter how much I told meself that it was not needed, something inside of me just took over and IT WAS NEEDED......... I craved for a 'Chinky Take-away' (this term is NOT meant to offend anyone - it is what it is called here, its what everyone calls the little take-away up the road, even the little chinese man that works in the iron-mongers calls it that, so its not meant to be offensive to anyone OK)... anyways, so I wander into me little lounge where I find 2 of me lads and one of their girlfriends..... arh good me thinks, just the 4 of us, that wont be to expensive........ Who wants a Chinky, I say........... you must understand that we dont often get take-away anything in this house, its a rare treat...... so of course the answer was yes.... great I thought.......... so we ploughed through the 'Lucky Star' menu that we found under the phone....... its from 2 years ago LOL....... oh well it couldnt of gone up that much in price......

Had terrible feelings of guilt come over me, how could we order this wonderful treat without included me 2 lads that were not there......... well I figured one of me lads couldnt eat it anyways, he is still suffering from a double broken jaw and still has his mouth wired together to try and get the plates now inserted in his jaw to set....... so I thinks he CANT have any anyways........ So we order over the phone........

2 Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls with SS Sauce and BBQ Sauce....

2 Chicken Kung Po (which I will hasten to add I LOVE WITH A PASSION)

1 Special Fried Rice (which I cant have cos its got ham in and we all know that eating ham will kill me stone dead lol)

1 Singapore Chow Mein (which is well scrummy BUT the tossers put ham in it GGggrrrr)

2 portions of chips LMFAO yep chips

and a bag of prawn crackers.....

So all in all it was a feast to our eyes.........and at just over $60 we didnt think it to bad to feed 5 of us....

So I goes and picks it up...... gets the plates out, dishes it up for the 5 of us.......... THEN I had this wonderful brill idea.......... my Ben (you know the one with the broken jaw) LOVES chinky food, so I dish the feast up on 6 plates........ leaving one on the side for him when he comes in ....... we stuff ourselves with our supper..... I take our plates out to the kitchen, only to come face to face with the extra plate put by for Ben...... THINKING CAP ON........ of course he cant eat it, his jaw is wired shut......... but he CAN of course he can IF I liquidize it in the blender, then he can suck it up through a straw, right? LOL............ so I shove it in the blender and get this thick goop, goop is the only word to describe what I was looking at.... I know I will add the SS Sauce that will make it thin enough to go through a straw, right?........ there :) done...... a lovely cup of cold liquidized chinese food :)

An hour later me lad comes in, and the conversation went like this........

Son: Hey mum, Im starving is there anything I can eat...

Me: Yeah, there is a bowl of stuff in the fridge, ya just have to zap it in the microwave...

Son: Ok, but it dont smell to good...

Me: Oh its fine you will LOVE it, your favourite...

ding ding ding ping

Son: Mum, what exactly is this 'stuff'...

Me: Its kung po, chicken balls in batter chips rice prawn crackers chow mein...

Son: Mum I really think you need to be seeing someone, you know, one of them NUT DOCTORS......ARE YOU MENTAL......

So it went in the bin and he opened a tin of Lentil Soup and slurped it rather loudly through his straw..... I think he was making a statement LOL..............

I WAS JUST TRYING ME BEST....... THATS ALL......... no pleasing some people......


OK - way more then enough Twaddle......

Fanks x


16 comments:

JBelle said...

well. dunno. I would have taken mine with the unwired boys,I think. and I believe we'll have it here tonight when we watch the Oscars. mmmmm. mmmmmm. Schezwan chicken.

the psycho therapist said...

I JUST TYPED A HUGE COMMENT AND GOT BUMPED OFF. GOD*DAMMIT* TO HELL.

No, I'm not redoing the whole thing. Fuck, I am pissed.

Marmy, darling, you've been on mind since last night with that "Chinky" comment. I hope Ben fares well. Maybe 3 weeks left? Who knows with individual healing being what it is.

It's snowing like a motherfucker here (bet Peanut's pissed as she doesn't enjoy the cold and winter as I do). Good day to read more, watch more movies, create more wonderful food, enjoy the peace and beauty of the season.

Love to you and those baskets and vases.

*muah, baby

I must away and do some processing of feeling right now. I have some *issues*.

--

Peanut said...

I am sitting here laughing my arse off right now.. lol

Not that it's really funny that you have "issues" Wendy.. but, see, there is a woman I work with who is always saying .. "Oh, well, what can I say to you "Peanut" .. I've got some issues!" ... she's such a nice person, but she won't walk on grass, won't go outside for fear of birds.. won't use any utensils or cups or anything, unless they have been brought in from her home, and have been through her dishwasher.. lives in fear of one of our kids touching her hair (he has a habit of coming up, and patting me on the head, and saying 'hey, are you okay?' .. and she's TERRIFIED of him doing that to her! lol

So, see, this is why my funny bone is over active right now! ROFL

Liquidized chinky, huh? Think I'll pass, ta Mel! Ben is going to be so happy when he'll be able to sink his teeth into something good again, won't he?

As to the weather.. well, Peanut may be a bit pissed later on, as it's due to hit us sometime this afternoon. Right now, it's grey out, but nothing is falling from the sky, thank heavens. I filled up the gas tank..I don't know why, but it makes me feel more prepared for this icky weather when I know I have plenty of gas (petrol) in the car.. d'oh, like I'm going to go drive anywhere anyway. /sigh

ROFL

What can I say? I have some issues!!!!!!

:o)

MarmiteToasty said...

~JBelle~ Im thinking I should of married a chinaman instead of the 'sweetheart' *CHOKE COUGH REACH FOR PUKING MUG* that I did..... cos I could eat chinese food EVERY day... me likes me a nice thick noodle ;).... (((JBelle))) x

~Wendy~ :( issues or tissues, cos I dont have tissues but I have a whole new packet of bog loo ya can use...... and fanks for the chat yesterday..... show me someone without issues and I will knuckle them in the side of the temple and give them a few issues to be going on with.... I like to put all me issues in a little rucksack whereas some people dont even have matching luggage.... ((((Wendy)))) loves ya xxx

~Peanut~ are you CRAZY girl.... you dont like snow...... Jebus... do you know how much I have wished for snow... do ya? do ya? ... we had that one daft stupid day of snow and then it had disappeared by late afternoon.... actually it was 2 days but a week apart lol... and then we only got 1cm and I couldnt even make a snowman, not even a midget one with no arms or legs, not even a blob or a head called 'ed'..... people, loons, countrymen 'lend me your snow'..... ((((Peanut))))) x

x

Jonathan said...

ooo, there's always a warm place in my heart for chinky food. i was in glasgow this past weekend and we ran across an all you can eat chinky food place. amazing. we stayed for three hours. lol. my friends were ready to leave after 45 minutes, but i had to get my money's worth, and try out every dish several times.

great blog! can't wait to read more


xx

JBelle said...

Have you been to Wagamama's? in London? Do they have them outside of London? Their noodles are to die for, without exception. Nice and thick and soft and firm. sigh. @

The Fool said...

Ya know M-Toasty...telling the kid that they were "chicken balls" might have been what set him back.

I mean...where the hell are the nuggets on a chicken?

I remember being in Japan years ago and seeing a "Dragon Ball Z" poster...long before being known in America. I told the guy I was with that it translated as "dragon testicles Z." He almost blew his coffee out his nose while driving. We ended up going out for drinks.

Hey Doc, if you've got us...you've got issues. Jump on in...the water's fine...

;)

MarmiteToasty said...

~Jon~ lovely to see you here, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING lol ..... woooohoooo all you can eat places are great...... one pays and then ya 8 maties show up hehehehehe.....

~Fool~ you seemed like a traveled young man, you jammy sod..... and the kid in question just happens to be 23 LMFAO........ see Ive well bloody old....... and chicken balls is the pet name we have for the Sweet and Sour Battered chicken bits LOL...... and thats bits as in pieces and not bits as in 'bits in ya boxers'... ;)

~JBelle~ *cough* OH THOSE NOODLES lmfao..... aint been out to eat at a chinky for yonks and yonks....

x

Lynn said...

Poor Ben. It's hard to try to make accommodations sometimes, isn't it, Marmite? My twins both wear knee braces right now and sometimes it's hard to come up with activities that don't leave them out!

eddie said...

I think you did great and he should have drank it just to please you, glad you got your site up

MarmiteToasty said...

~Lynn~ fanks the boy will do just fine... he has me as a mum to kick his arse lol

Send the twins over to me we can all knee brace together, Ive just had an op a fortnight ago on me knee with more to come..... so I KNOW :) see I KNOW loads of stuff lol


~Eddie~ lovely to see you *Hugs* - sending you the bowl of whizzed up chinky, there see if you can drink it lol it even made me feel ill :)...

Fanks all for stopping over here today, I really didnt expect anyone to call, if I had known I would of got some scones and clotted cream in ;) maybe next time...... and with that, Im off to bed its 11.37 and Im complete knackered and exhausted and Ive got to work early and Ive had way to many late nights..... just hope I can sleep with the pain LMFAO........

slater maties

x

Dana said...

MARMIE!!!!!!!! I am so happy to see you!!!!! Thank you for doing this. Margaritas for everyone on me!!!

Love,

Dana

JBelle said...

mine is lime. double tequila. yes, please. salt. yeah. thanks.

Mel, you have cool friends.

MarmiteToasty said...

~Scully~ :) Your welcome to hang out over here :) it aint much, it aint special, but the friends are WONDERFUL...... if now a tad messy.... and the mud everywhere is cos Fool lives in just his boots ;).....

Sod the margaritas...... make mine a Gin and Orange :)

~JBelle~ ok ya will have to teach me how to drink them :) I aint had one before, but Im up for it....

Happy Mondays to you all..

x

x

The Fool said...

M-Toasty...I'll have you know that I sometimes take the boots off to wash between the toes. I wouldn't want folks to think I'm not hi-gene-ic (excuse me). I clean up well.

Speaking of genes...do you know how to tell a male hormone from a female hormone? Pull down its genes, silly...

Happy Monday.

hi-ho, hi-ho

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ 3 words - YOU DAFT SOD lmfao...

x