Saturday, 4 August 2007

Stuff Ya Gob With Fresh Fruit.......

Ok............ so Ive been right proper poorly.... but ya know me, well, those that do, I tend just to get on with stuff........ I did have monday off work though..... just knew I needed that extra day after the weekend....... anyways....... I aint tiptop but it will have to surfice, I just aint got the time for poorliness.......

So..... on Tuesday cos it was our first well proper day without rain, we decided to have a drive out to Funtington and the Fruit Farm, ya know, one of those pick ya own fruit and stuff as much as ya can shove into ya gob on the way round......

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So thats were we headed........ I took me 8 seater car and black Michelle took her 8 seater, so we all managed to squeeze in...... Michele was not sure how to get to Funtington so she met me at me other maties house when we was loading the kids and picnic stuff and buggies into the car.......

I would like to know why things NEVER seem to run smooth when we go out, there is always some little incident....... and Tuesday was no expection.......... ya see Black Michele (its NOT a racist thing, we have 4 maties all called Michele, and we have to have a way of figuring out which one we are talking/bitching about, so we have black Michele, white Michelle, Wonkie Eye Michele and BillyNoMates Michelle)....... dont know her way out of a paper bag, bloody townie, Sharon either, ya see they aint local born and bred.... one is from Birmingham and one is a Londoner..... so I said I would drive and Michele could follow........ so off we set.... I knew it would easier to nip onto the motorway and come off at the Rowlands Castle junction...... so I put me foot down, there was loads of lorries on the motorway and me junction was coming up and I was in the middle lane with Michele behind me, so I indicates and nips in front of this HUGE lorry so that I didnt miss the turn off........ well the tosser lorry driver didnt like it and he put his foot down and closed the gap so that Michele who was indicating couldnt pull into the junction and she had to drive pass the turn off............

Ok what you must understand is that we, in my car shot up the slip way and onto the motorway flyover and watched Michele continue down the motorway...... LOL she is gonna get lost me matie Sharon said...... the next junction was miles up the road and then Michele who is a bit of a dinlo would panic as to how to get back to the junction turnoff we took...... so we went round and round the top roundabout peeping over the motorway bridge to see if she was coming back lol...... and finally after getting well dizzy and one of the nippers saying they felt sick from going round and round we took the dual carriage way road in the direction we were going.......

She will never find us if we go without her me matie Sharon pipes up......... Ok OK I say, I will pull over and we will wait for the daft cow....... well on the dual carriage way there was nowhere to pull over EXCEPT into this little sort of track into the woods.... there was no layby as such...... so I indicated and then very carefully reversed into this sloping track so that we was at least facing the road, so if the daft cow managed to find her way back we could bib the horn and wave her down.......... we did try ringing her on the mobile but obviously she was driving and probably crying now so it just kept ringing......

So there we sat.... in this track...... and it was getting on towards lunchtime and I said to Sharon.....'shall we do lunch' we was so giggling...... so we gave the kids all a drink and got out our lunch, we couldnt reach the kids lunch cos it was all in the boot of the car....... so there we are giggling 'doing lunch'. well it was actually a bought chicken tikka couscous salad from our local grocery shop...... and a mug of coffee from the garage which we grabbed when I filled up with petrol......

It was funny sitting there in the sun with the cars whizzing by doing lunch....... WHEN this bloody police patrol car pulled up in front of us with all its light flashing lol........ these 2 coppers get out and one comes to my open window and one to Sharons open window........... ok ladies the main one said....... you know you aint suppose to be stopped here, so whats going on........... and I kid you not, at the same exact time, me and Sharon both just said........ WE ARE DOING LUNCH ......... hahahahahah jebus it was just so very very funny....... I think you had to be there........the copper did actually laff...I said, please can you ask me to get out the car and throw me onto the bonnet and shout at me to 'spread em' :) - after all, that might be the only time I get to hear those magic words lol....he just smiled LOL..... anyways we explained what had happened and that we couldnt leave black Michele stranded and lost...... and bugger me, with that she only pulled up behind the cop car :).......... sussed and sorted :) the coppers stopped the traffic so we could get back into the flow of the traffic and we waved at them as they just smiled at us shaking their heads lol........

When we got to the Fruit Farm we thought it best to let the kids have lunch, so we spread the blankets out under a shadey tree for the kids to sit on.......so they could 'do lunch'....

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There are 2 nippers missing from this photo as they was having a wee in the hedge LOL

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Just look at the size of Emma's sarnies........

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Note how clean Sprite is sort of at the moment....... LOL

So after lunch, we went to the little hut place and got loads of little blue punnets for all the nippers..... and Jon ran to the first tree and before we could shout STOP he was picking apples by the dozen lol...... Jon is 4 and Ive had him since he was 1.... and he is a couple of pennies short of a quid.... and he didnt know which ones were ripe or not..... so he comes walking back to me clutching a handful of apples..... to which I say...... oh Jon darling, those aren't ripe, now go back and put them back on he tree ...... ok ok so Im mean lol........ and he went back and was trying to stick the apples back on the tree lol......

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This is Jon trying to put the apple back on the tree..... he dont look non to pleased LOL......

First of all we hit the raspberry and strawberry rows.... and we tried to explain to the kids that they were actually allowed to eat as they pick...... oh my goodness...... wrong thing to say........

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Now where are all other other kids lol we needed eyes in the back of our heads :)

Someone gave sprite raspberries and strawberries...... its come out in the wash right?

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We ate so much fruit it was unbelieveable lol....... try convincing nippers that it aint actually nicking (thieving) the fruit and that ya really allowed to eat what ya wont......

Mathew was so funny, he walked about stuffing his little face and insisted on only putting one raspberry into his punnet.... and the bloke so laffed when I put the punnet with the one raspberry on the scales for a price.......

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Mathew has a twin sister but this day she was with grandparents, they try to make sure they always get alone time so they dont become attacted at the hips..... - this is Mathew with his one raspberry....

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Picking Greengages :).... oh and Owen in amongst the strawberries.....

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Owen an Emma insisted in pulling up this weed and taking it home lol

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Which way to the plums....... and wheres Owen in this picture...... gawds sake.....

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Jon loved getting handfuls of grass and throwing it in the air lol

We came home with punnets of fresh fruit but my best treasure of the day was, these.........

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OK, call me a thief, does it look like Im bovvered.......... there were hundreds of strawberry plant runners....... so I snipped off 20 and nicked to bring home and pot on so that I can have me own little strawberry patch next year :)...


We took our treasures to be weighed in the farm shop, 11 nippers and us in this tiny shop :)...... DONT TOUCH DONT TOUCH was the order of the day lol..... 11 ice-creams later and a jar of farmhouse chilli mayo oh and some veggie goodies that are now winging there way to the states...... we called it a day......... tired out...... especially me..........

Oh, I did forget to say that I soooooo needed a wee when out in the fields so I hobbled into the orchard to squat...... oh shut up, dont say you aint had to do that...... so there I was squatting having a wee, then the bloody owner rides by on his little orchard tractor in mid squatt LMFAO......... 'afternoon' he says and just smiles lol........ cant a girl have a wee in peace..... gawds sake.......

Enough boring Twaddle for one day..........

x

27 comments:

Kati said...

LOL Glad to see you're feeling better, Toasty. Looks like it was a fun, sunny day!

Bugwit said...

You may not be feeling 100%, but you are in prime storytelling mode!

Now, I want to repeat with me: "Policemen are not playthings...policemen are not playthings..."

Glad you're feeling (somewhat) better!

susan said...

I have had plenty of "wee's" on the side of the road in my life. I can't get my girls to do it, though. Of course, the one time it was absolutely necessary we were in a swamp in Louisianna, and the girls thought that their backside would get bitten by a snake or eaten by a alligator, so I kinda understand their predicament, but I was lost, and there was no restroom in sight. Poor girls.

Your trip looks lovely. You are brave to head out of the house with all those kids. Very brave.

Lynn said...

Wow. Your pitures came out great, Mel. What a beautiful day and the kids all look so very cute!

the psycho therapist said...

And not ONE picture of you among them, tsk tsk. No worries..I'll check my files and see what I can come up with.

Hmmm, yes, I see. I suppose you and I will have to "make do" for now, you bloody thief!

I am so tellin'.

;)


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ciara said...

(((mel-slagbag and anyone's for a policeman's 'night stick')))glad ya back to ya usual self. the nippers are adorable as usual. when ya take a pee in nature just make sure u don't use a poisonous leaf for tp. lmao

Scots said...

What a fabby day ... just be a doll and share the bloody sun with us up here please ... ya greedy gits! LOL

I love picking fruit and having a good old munch on the way round the bushes - all part of the fun! It's much easier for us lads to have a quick pee behind the bushes - there had to be one perk of being a bloke! lol

Just think ... all the kids have had their "5 a-day" and it didn't cost a penny hahaha

There aint nothing more embarrassing than a cop car with all lights flashing but at least yours had a sense of humour - or thought "shit, it's the bloody Clampetts" lmao

Glad you are back to your usual self Marm babes xxx

seenthatbefore said...

Mathew is my type of man! Well done dude!

Akelamalu said...

Glad you're feeling better m'deario.

What a great day out - love the photos of the kiddiewinks, but where are you?????

The Fool said...

Hi M-Toasty. It looks like a fun outing was had by all...but let me join my voice to the choir - Where's Mel??

;)

Jen said...

What a great story and great pictures. I always love hearing about your adventures. And what adorable kids.

Ba Doozie said...

You've been Nab'd!

the psycho therapist said...

Saaaay, nice likeness.

;)



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Inland Empire Girl said...

What fabulous pictures and all that fruit...you'll love having your own strawberry patch. I am glad you are feeling better.

Catch said...

Oh Marmie.....I laughed all through this post! You are so good for these kids!!! I bet they all love you so much! I am glad to hear you are feeling better Sweety! Take good care of you!

Jennifer said...

ROFL...he drove by while your doin' your business? LOL
Good thing the cops were in a good mood and it worked out well! Oh my goodness, I always get a kick out of your posts! I'm not kiddin' when I say you should publish this stuff. You'd be rich!

B.R.M said...

How funny and sweet!

If that had been me - my backside would have been bitten by some bug - and had an allergic reaction.

Too funny. Take care of yourself.

MarmiteToasty said...

CRIPES lol where did you lot come from lol

~((((kati)))))~ it was fun, if not a little tiring lol.... but it was our first well proper day of summer sunshine, and I couldnt let it go to waste.......xxxxx

~(((((Bugs)))))~ coppers are to be toyed with lol..... I think our coppers are move laid back then yours, they are there to be toyed with lol....... and hey, Im getting better by the day, Im almost tiptop today :)......xxxxx

~((((((Susan))))))))~ say NO to ya bum being bitten by no snake LOL..... when my Ben was little he needed a wee so we stopped at the side of the road, he was only about 2 1/2 or 3 and he stood next to the country fence and dropped his trousers and stood there and poo'd LMFAO........ and when he was 4 he needed a wee up the top of the eiffle tower LOL my now X said he will have to wait, so he promptly poo'd himself and I just smile and he had to take him back down to the base and sort him out LOL that will learn him...... I dont think its brave, its always a joy :) xxxxxxxx

~((((lynn))))~ a beautiful fun filled day with beautiful special maties and cute nippers :).....xxxxxxx

~(((((Wendy))))))~ look a little closer LOL....xxxxxxx

~((((Ciara anyones for a coppers truncheon)))))~ I did sit on a stinging nettle once and it didnt sting me bum it stung me LANDING FLAPS lol now that was a well swollen time LMFAO......xxxxxxx

~((((((((Scottie)))))))))))~ we did buy a few punnets of fruit LOL.... but I will admit we ate so much that it was pebbledashing time in our house when we got home LOL.......

you aint having our sunshine we have waited way to long for it :).... the clampets by arse LMFAO...... but dam those coppers laffed.......xxxxxxx

~((((((((seenthatbefore)))))))))~ yep Matt is one cool little boy :).....xxxxxxx

~(((ake))))~ it was so nice to get out after being stuck in for a while.... oh Im there, you just have to look a little closer LOL....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((Foolie))))))))))~ Im hiding in the greengage trees LOL .....xxxxxxx

~(((((((jen))))))))))~ I was pleased with the pics, I will never be a good photographer but I try to capture the moment..... everyone of me maties know that I travel no where without me camera :)....xxxxxxx

~((((((((da boozle))))))))~ lol bloody nab'd - cripes.... fanks LMFAO......xxxxxxx

~((((((((Wendy)))))))))~ WHAT? lol XXXXXXX

~(((InlandEmpireGirl))))))~ I thought I might do strawberry hanging baskets to stop the slugs and snails eating them :)..... xxxxx

~((((((((((catch)))))))))~ there ya go, laffing at me saddo life again LOL....... well I do have this great connection with me nippers..... and I do love each and everyone of them.... ok except one LOL but he would never know I cant stand the sight of the jumped up little up his own arse arrogant little tosspot... ok ok so he is only 6, but it still dont make him right :).........xxxxxxxx

~((((((((jennifer)))))))))))~ yep he drove by and said what he did and I just tugged me hair like I was a serving wench LOL..... and oh hush.... I cant write to save me life LOL.......xxxxxxxx

~((((((brm))))))))~ well me landing flaps got stung once, that was no laffing matter LOL.......xxxxxx

NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND ME A COUPLE OF NICE RIPE JUICY PLUMS THAT NEED NIBBLING lmfao.......... what? to rude? like I give a dam LOL.....xxxxx

Scots said...

dunno about the plums marm babe but apparently I am a little "gratuitous" with my nuts!!! oooer missus

Ol' Lady said...

Nice to see that you are feeling better :)
Those children will probably need therapy in their adult years :o

BurdockBoy said...

Glad yer up and better.

We were out picking blueberries today-I did eat a bunch while picking, but I opted not to dig up a bush. Great score taking the strawberries though.

Mom not Mum said...

Looks like an awesome trip!!!

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Scottie)))))~ NUTS lol nowt better then a pair of ripe juicy plums dangling LMFAO.... ok ok or a couple of hard brazil nuts LOL.... *suit you sir* ;)......xxxxx

~((((ol lady))))~ yep they will need intensive therapy, now that will learn them for loving me so much :)......xxxxxxx

~((((burdockboy))))~ hey, come September I well be off hobbling round the lanes with me basket gathering pounds and pounds of blackberries.... Ive decided this year to get me finger out and start making me homemade wines again and me jams and purees..... I use to love doing all that and growing me own stuff when I had the bit of land with our nursery.... xxxxxx

~(((((MomNotMum)))))~ well it was just a little day out a few miles from here.... but nowt like your wonderful trip.... ya jammy sod :)......xxxxxxx

ciara said...

oh my...swollen 'landing flaps'! lmfao

Jennifer said...

I've honoured you with the Rockin' Girl Blogger Award cuz you Rock!
http://jenshumbleopinion2.blogspot.com/2007/08/rockin-girl-blogger.html

green libertarian said...

I LOVE how you and Ciara with a Tiara tease each other. (wink).

but not nearly as much as I LOVE ANY pic of Sprite, gawd she is such a cutie.

What a fabulous field trip, Mel. From the cops, to the fields, all of it.

Just look at the size of Emma's sarnies........

Ummmmm, I think I was distracted by something else in that pic, black Michelle's ... heh heh heh

i see those kids, and I just want to give them a hug.

I know they love you, (((((Mel))))))
It's obvious.

Wisconsin Dells friends said...

I'm very glad you had such a nice time on your trip to the states this year. I'm wondering about "theme parks and all that rubbish". At the time, everyone reported to have had a very memorable time at those theme parks.