Friday, 10 August 2007

What An Oven Slagbag.......

OK..... ya know when I was telling ya about me new washing machine, and the little bit of bovver I had 2 years ago plumbing it in...... well it was about the same time that I needed a new cooker, or 'stove' as the doodles say, which is soooooo a 1930s saying LMFAO.......

Well, its funny how stuff all needs to be replaced about the same time, and shortly before me washing machine was karput, me cooker(stove) needed replacing...... it was just not working proper and me cakes was coming out like volcanos and there aint nowt worst then soggy pies in the middle with burnt crusts........ so cooker shopping we went.......

As you probably have gathered I am a right proper easy shopper, I tend to know what I want and just go and buy it..... same as the cooker..... only this time I wanted a stainless steel one...... dont ask LOL........

Well that was just over 2 years ago..... the bloke in the shop said ya just take the old one out and slip the new one in the gap in the kitchen units, screw in the gas pipe and then bobs ya uncle.... ya can cook away until ya hearts content.... easy right? :) yep, sounded right simple to me.......

So, I had a quick look around at the few stainless steel cookers they had in the shop and thought I might as well replace the hob at the same time..... the hob is the top bit where ya put the pots on the burners..... I have no idea what you doodles call it lol....

I was well chufted with me purchases and with reassuring words from the man in the shop as to how easy it was just to swap them over, I drove home beaming with dreams of perfect fairy cakes and non soggy pies..... and crusts that didnt break ya teeth.....

First thing was to get the old cooker out of the gap in the kitchen units...... as you know this house is 'tool deprived' but a kitchen knife is just as good as any ole screwdriver right? and I did have a wrench for those awkward to reach places that might have a thing that needs unscrewing....

So armed with me knife and me wrench I set about trying to figure out how to pull the cooker out..... I managed to drag it out, it was not even screwed into the unit so with the door oven and a quick pull the whole bloody cooker just pulled out and landed on the kitchen floor.......

Ok, so it was attached to a pipe at the back but there was a screw and I did have me wrench in hand........

Gas pipe, screw thingie, wrench, me :) what team work LOL

I will admit that there was a little escape of gas, just like a gentle fart, when I unscrewed the screw thingie on the pipe connecting the cooker to the gas supply..... but that was to be expected right?...... it was a doddle, the cooker then lifted out of the gap in the units and sat on me kitchen floor.........

I quickly unboxed the shiny new cooker from the box, thinking I would save the box for the nippers to make a fire engine out of, that would make great craft project.......

I carefully lifted me new cooker into the gap only to find that the pipe on the back of the new cooker was on the opposite side of the cooker then what the other one was.... so that the gas pipe just wouldnt reach...... well, it wouldnt reach unless I pulled it and bent it a little to fit, 6 inches to get it to reach aint much to ask is it?...... so I yanked the pipe that was attached to the wall, with all me strength, pulling it as hard as I could towards the new fixtures on the back of the cooker.......

Ok........ when the gas was releasing slowly from the bent pipe, it was a good idea just to hold me breath, after all there is bound to be a bit of gas escape right, I was trying to reconnect, so thats normal right?......... LOL.......... it was when the gas started to gush out of the now bent and buckled gas pipe that I started to go a little light headed........ it was a nice feeling LOL..... ok this was not right, so I tried to put me hand around the bent pipe to stop the gas from escaping.... it was not working......... ok ok what to do....... now I felt like I was on top of the world, the kitchen was floating around dancing LOL....... British Natural gas is quiet a high LOL....

The gas just kept escaping and I thought I might of made a mistake in bending the gas pipe to fit, but the man in the shop did say it was an easy swap over......

I had to make a decision, so I abandoned the cooker as the kitchen was filling up with gas, I did think to open that back door though :) see - I aint all daft....

I rang Gordon, he would know what to do, he was after all a central heating gas fitter....... so I quickly explained what I had done and he sounded a little concerned, not his usually joking laffing self...... he said....... DO NOT turn on any lights....... or any electrical things, like I had time to sit and enjoy meself...... he asked if I knew where the gas supply TURN OFF tap was...... yeah right, like I would know if I even had one of those......so he said, are you on your own, to which I said YES GORDON lol.... he said, can you do me a favour and just get out the house and sit in the garden, Im on my way round now......gawds sake, like I aint got nuffin better to do then sit in me garden......... but I did....

and within 3 minutes Gordon was coming through me back gate saying...... bloody hell Mel I can smell the gas out the front of the house....... I said, maybe thats cos its coming out the pipe....... he went in me back door with instructions to STAY BLOODY PUT lol....... he was out within 2 minutes.......... with........ Mel, WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING........... trying to put in me new cooker, the man in the shop said it was just straight forward connection....... Gordon said, yep, it is, IF the pipes DONT need specialist bending LOL........he did a lot of shaking his head and lecturing that day..... and a lot of telling me stories of houses blowing up with gas leaks etc....... I think he was just trying to scare me......

Its good to have a go at installing some of these thngs right, aint that how we learn in life?.......

Anyways........ what bought this memory on was, cos that now said same cooker is now 2 years old and as much as I tried to keep it clean, when the lads have let stuff overflow and bits of pizza etc fall and burn onto the cooker, its got itself into a bit of a state and no amount of oven cleaning stuff from the shops get its spotless......so I got this man in :)

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Now aint that just the funniest little van ever...... and just look what he did to me cooker.....

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Just think this is the cooker that gave me so much grief and could of blown me house up, I take NO responsibility for that .......

All sparkling and shiny and CLEAN :)..... ok ok so it was 50 quid, but it was worth every penny......

So, as promised to 2 of me nippers, as soon as the midget cooker cleaning bloke with a foreign accent had gone, we set about making FAIRY CAKES :)......

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Jon and Katie standing on chairs, aprons on, mixer, scales, ingredients at the ready......

What I dont understand is how people can bake with kids from packet mixes and think that they are cooking LOL....... that teaches nuffin to the kids, when you make cakes from scatch they learn so much...... we talk about so many things when we do cooking....... we learn about weights and measures and where eggs come from and flour and how to do hand eye coordination and how to break the eggs and dig out the shells and how if ya sneeze the flour goes everywhere...... so very much fun and laughter and learning when ya make cakes the proper way...... our only not proper thing as such when we baked in the week was that I let them use the mixer and not mix in big bowls with wooden spoons, but we had done that the week previous, so this to was a learning experience and it was fun watching the ingredients all whizz around as we added things....

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This lad looks like he is away with the fairys, probably why he choose to make fairy cakes LOL...... he needs a bit of special help and is a few pennies short of a quid, so its very important to give him many different experiences :) - he got the flour everywhere to begin with lol

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Time to weigh the butter......

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Are we having fun yet :) - see me pink scales...... I DONT do pink - but I love me kitchen scales LOL

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Yep Jon, eggs come out of a chickens bum LOL so you think thats funny to you LOL...... :)

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Unless ya let them have a go a breaking the eggs and digging out the egg shells they will never learn :)......

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Thats it, empty the eggs minus the shells into the mixer :)

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Great job Jon :) great eye hand coordination......

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Jon!!! are you dipping your finger into the mixture while Katie is concentrating LOL..... go for it son :)

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How chufted are those nippers, fairy cakes all ready for the oven, and with only supervision they did it all themselves....... look at those faces of pride :)

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Time for a quick clean up :)

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WHAT A RESULT...... after waiting for them to cook and cool, they then spread them with chocolate spread and dipped them in sprinkles :)...... then boxed them up to take home and share with their families........

So........... enuff Twaddle for a sunny Friday........... just wanted to share me cooker story with ya, and just glad that Im here to tell the tale :).....

x

24 comments:

B.R.M said...

Your Tennessee "doodle" friend
calls the top of the cooker - the stove (where the burners are) and the inside where you bake delicious stuff - the oven.

However, I grew up cooking - southern style of course-fried with a lot of gravy/sauce - cooked most of my married life and now I am not the least bit interested in cooking anymore. I am trying to get better about it though - I need to teach both my kids the basics.

But I am firm believer in the micorwave, crockpot and toaster oven.

You are too funny. Take care of yourself.

toadman said...

That service man's truck is brilliant! It only adds to the illusion of England that I've built up over the years. Next, you'll be telling me that Chimney Sweeps dance on your rooftops singing "Step in time!"

Oh, and there is this:

hob = stovetop
cooker = oven
fairy cake = a cake made by a homosexual man

Just so you know...

The Fool said...

Hi M-Toasty. Got gas? Never, ever believe the bloke in the shop when he says, "Installation is a cinch." That's a veiled warning...

Wonderful shots of the kids, Mel...very warming...they brought me back to the K-garden and the cooking experiences we shared. I remember Stone Soup as being one of the standards of the times. Fun is...

Have a great Friday!

the psycho therapist said...

/coming after yFooly
Well! So much for ladies first.
;)

Marmettini,
Lucille Ball, I Love Lucy ain't got nuthin on you. You're the Mrs. Ricardo of Herald Square, y'are.

Fabulous tale, natch. Only you.;)

Faerycakes remind me of that post I did a few years back when you and Peanut informed me of their specialness...as well as some recipes. Good times, dem days. :)

Okay, back to "Idiotland", where the fun never stops.

*muah*

--

Akelamalu said...

I don't know how you're still ALIVE Marmie!!

You are so right about cooking from scratch with kids, it's so much fun and teaches them sooooo much!

The Fool said...

Sidebar to Doc: Coming first? Moi? Heh heh...maybe a little review is needed. That's not my recollection, dear.

;)

Sorry, Mel...that comment just begged for a reply.

Back to the regularly scheduled program.

;)

ciara said...

i, too, call the top of the 'stove' the burners...and yep, where you bake is the oven. i don't know 'cooker' doesn't sound right. sounds like something a nutter would say lol

as for teaching my kids how to bake and shit from scratch...ain't happening if even "I" can't bake from scratch lol plus the fact that me kids can't even wipe their own arses lol jk if my stepson can't do directions for microwave, i don't think i'm gonna trust him to use the stove/oven!

and oh jebus...the whole gas thing! glad ya didn't blow yourself up and ya matie wasn't tryin to scare ya...he was tellin the truth. we have professionals come do that kinda crap here lol all my appliances are stainless, too.

Jen said...

You've inspired me. When I start planning lessons for the new school year, I'm going to include cooking. I do it with my own kids, but my students would love it, too. It's alot of work, but as you reminded me, worth it in the end. Thanks.

bluskies4evermore said...

well matie, I have finally read your blogs. Damn, I am glad I lead a "normal"life.

just because an oven cooks does not make its name a cooker. That would be like calling the center in football a hutter because he says "hut" Long story but that is what I thought the position was.. poor Ben... he embarrassed so easily at the age of 12 when his mom said.. "my son is the hutter" I miss you friend... take care..

Like my blog name??? better than slb HUH?

Peanut said...

Yep.. there's just nothing like a real fairy cake, is there.. (tsk-ing at "faery" lol)

Mind you.. today at lunch.. geeze, wonders will never cease.. I actually got a lunch break.. well, anyhow... guess what I ate...

A BOSTON creme donut ...

hee hee

Silver Valley Girl said...

I love the pictures of baking with the kids. What a wonderful experience. My niece has fond memories of coming to my house to make homemade bread and cherry jam from the cherries off our tree. Nothing like baking from scratch...they are SO MUCH BETTER. Glad the gas leak didn't get you...YIKES!!! And the cleaning for the oven was a great investment...looks good.

the psycho therapist said...

Goodness, would you look at the time.

I...I...well, it's almost as if you were here.

;)



--

Inland Empire Girl said...

I want a man in a truck to come and clean my oven. I haven't seen any of these trucks in the Inland Empire of Washington and Idaho! ):

seenthatbefore said...

Jon looks like he recovered from the emotional trauma that you gave him by telling him to put the apple back on the tree.

gazey said...

((( Melody )))
could I please, please, please be one of your kids?

:-)

* gazey *

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((((brm)))))))~ :) the top here is called 'the hob' you lot sure do speak funny...... well with my own lads who like proper good wholesome slops I aint got a choice but to cook meals, and with all the little nippers I still get to do the fun bits...... xxxxxx

~((((Toadie)))))~ LMFAO@you fairy cakes..... I daren't tell ya that me lads love 'faggots' their dinner some nights....

Aint that little 'van' just so cute.... oh and I have a post soon just for you in mind..... xxxxxxx

~(((((((Foolie))))))~ I cant seem to get that stone soup just right, I think I leave the stone in just a tad to long lol...

Maybe Im a tad gulliable about believing 'shop workers' when they say things are a doddle to install.... but, me, well I just have a go anyways...... I NEED A HANDY MAN LIVING HERE lol..... is it difficult to plaster walls? .......xxxxxxx

~(((((((Wendy))))))))~ I aint no Lucille Ball lol but I do remember that programme on the telly over here when I was a wee nipper......I remember your fairy post and mine and peanut gettin on at ya LOL..........and hey, deez be good daz to :)xxxxxxxxxxxxx

~((((ake))))~ sometimes I amaze meself at me survival skills LOL.....xxxxxxxx

~(((((((Foolie)))))))~ no need for apoligies..... but ya know, sometimes its wonderful to come at the same time :).......xxxxxxxxx

~(((((((((((ciara anyones for a sniff of their gas))))))))~ I KNOW YOUR the worst cook in the world lol see maties can say that LOL.....

My X couldnt even boil an egg, oneday it would be lovely for a blokie to cook me dinner for me :) - cardboard and chips sounds loverly.....xxxxxxxx

~((((((jen)))))))))~ our schools do cooking, even the little ones, when me lads were younger I use to squeeze in an afternoon over the village school and 3 of us use to do basic cooking with the nippers.......and our senior schools do it compulsary for the first 3 years then its an option, and many lads take up the GCSE catering option.....

moi? inspire? ya having a laff right? lol....xxxxxxxxxxx

~((((((((blueskies))))))))~ WELCOME TO MY WORLD lol.....

People this is me matie from Wisconstance that I love to death, she is a right loon... glad you found the joint matie :)..... ya need to scroll back and read other stuff...... LOVE the new name, except I first read it as huskies lol and thought ya might be an eskimo :).....xxxxxxxxx

~((((((((Peanut))))))))~ a donut a donut me fairy cake for a donut LOL.....xxxxxx

~((((SilverValleyGirl))))))~ some of the nippers I have just aint never done cooking at home, cos some of the parents thinks its to messy.... daft right..... a messy kid is a contented kid..... yep well chufted with the clean cooker.... see it didnt kill me so I treat it right LOL.....xxxxxx

~((((((((Wendy)))))))))~ Wednesday by 5.00 ;)......xxxxxxx

~(((((InlandEmpireGirl))))))))~ maybe its cos you have been looking for trucks and they are called vans LMFAO...... many little business's over here have daft little reproduction vans, its great advertising.....xxxxxxx

~((((((((seenthatbefore))))))))~ I think Jon actually looks tramatized lol....... I loves that little blokie to death... and he loves me back 10 fold...

when he broke the egg into the cup I said 'oh no Jon, now you have gone and broke it in the wrong place' and he was trying to stick it back together lol....... I am sooooooooo mean to me minded nippers.....xxxxxxxx

~((((((((((((Gazey))))))))))~ only if you know how to hoover and dust lmfao....... in a whisper matie, you know, in a whisper......xxxxxx

Scots said...

Well marm babes ... I am building up a wee picture of you in my head here ....

not to be left alone with ... electricity, gas, plumbing, sewerage, daisy damp washes ... can't be trusted to pick fruit without flashing her bits ... lies to twats of neighbours (midget son) pmsl (he did deserve that though)

all sounding good hahahaha lmfao

ps - the cakes looked yummy!!!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Is 50 quid a lot of money?

Catch said...

Oh Mel...you are so good with those children! They had so much fun! Im just glad they werent there when you were hooking up your stove! LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((Scottie)))))~ no no you have the picture all wrong lol.... it should read.... GREAT WITH ALL DIY PROJECTS, hates kids, love me love me chicken lol :)....xxxxxxxx

~((((((MrFab))))))~ bowing in your presence....... 50 quid is only $100..... ya just sort of half your dollars and you get our pounds.... the exchange rate is mega good at the moment....oh unless you was taking 50 squid LOL....xxxxxx

~((((((((((catch)))))))))))~ oh shucks I aint good with them, I just dont show you the pictures of me beating them and making them stand facing the wall for hours ;) - ps.... all DIY projects are usually attempted whilst I am on me own for all safety reasons LMFAO......xxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

PS.........note to blueskies........ LOL@you thinking it was called a 'hutter'....... my lads played rugby and 2 of them played 'right flanker' LOL..... well, visions of me standing on the sideline shouting...... COME ON YOU FLANKERS..... which more often then not cos it was usually in the rain and freezing, came out as 'COME ON YOU WANKERS' LOL....... I use to be the only mum that would be there, its usually a dad thing to go watch..... oh well..... I didnt care.......xxxxxxx

green libertarian said...

The Fool said...

Sidebar to Doc: Coming first? Moi? Heh heh...maybe a little review is needed. That's not my recollection, dear.


Mine neither. Oh, different... person. heh heh heh

As is only appropriate, if only they'd remember. Chivalry forever.

green libertarian said...

Oh, and here's the complete deal on cooking appliance names here in the United States of America!

Stove: The burners, gas or electric. AKA Stove-top.

Oven: place to bake fairy cakes.

Range: combination appliance of both stove and oven.

Otherwise stove and over can be separate, like me mum had. Gas stovetop affixed to a counter. Next to it, but separate, a double oven.

Jon is Sprite's brother right? He seems to be doing very well, in your care, Marmite. Good on you.

Ol' Lady said...

I would love to have a service van like that...not that I would want to 'service' anyone :o
If the girls don't/didn't learn to bake and cook in my house then they better not admit that I am their mother.