Friday, 5 October 2007

Why Oh Why Cant I Just Have A 'Normal' Day....

Ok........ What you have to know about me is that I dont really like shopping as such... not unless its for special pressies for friends or things for me lads.... I so DONT like grocery shopping, and mostly I do it on line and the blokie comes out in his van and delivers it for me, and now he even carries it through into me kitchen LMFAO..... and it only cost like $10 ... thats well cheap for someone to do ya shopping and deliver it for ya......

But I do have to still go out and get the fresh fruit and veggies and bread etc.... so I tend to drag a matie along with me, that way we get to have such a laff... and jebus, do we laff.....

So, Tuesday, after dropping off 6 at school which leaves me with 3, I rings me bestest matie Sharon and says 'Im going to Sainsburys, do ya wanna come'..... now what you have to know is that Sainsburys is a LOVELY grocery shop, as far as grocery shops go that is..... and its quite a treat..... so even though its half way into town its a nice trip out..... sure she says..... we both like Sainsburys, so with 6 under 3s in tow we shove everyone in me car and head off......

We hadnt even got out of the village, nay, not even past the White Hart Pub, or the village green...... WHEN IT HAPPENED.......jebus lordy, just one NORMAL day would be such a gift from you..... ...

As we turned into Forest Road, I saw it, I almost ran it over...... a black bunny rabbit came hopping out of someones drive and almost under the wheels of me car, so I do this emergency stop LMFAO..... it was a great test to see if all the baby seats were actually in the car proper LOL.... and me matie even though she was seat belted in, she shot forward and the drink she was holding went flying LOL....... yep, I can still stop on a tanner LOL



What the hell, she says....... then she spots what I had spotted....... a little black bunny, which now had run back onto the pavement and was disappearing into someones gateway..... so I pulls me car over to the side of the road and we both look at each other...... and I says...... well, we cant just leave it here, next time it wont be so lucky with someones driving and it will get run over, can you live with that, what if when we come back its splattered all over Forest Road...... now this is the matie that was with me the day we did the roadkill photos lol.... she replied..... WE have to go and get groceries and we HAVE to be back by 12 for pre-school pickup....we DONT have time for this....... to which I replied....... you murderer LOL.... she just rolled her eyes at me and I said..... remember Larry the Lobster in Maine that I told you about...... yes she replied(giggling).... well, I said, he was not so lucky....... but this bunny has us....... NOW GET OUT THE BLOODY CAR AND HELP ME CATCH IT LMFAO......

Out we get, and stand at the gate of the garden it had disappeared into.....it was on the front lawn munching on the grass..... well, you know what, that bunny just didnt wanna be caught LMFAO..... we chased/hobbled around this persons garden trying to get it, Im sure it was smurking at us.... once I got well close and squatted down within feet of it and Sharon said 'rugby tackle it' so I leapt full length across the grass LOL but it just hopped away ...... by now there are about 7 people standing at the gate watching me and me matie run amoke in this persons garden...... I did have the sense to knock on the door first to see if anyone was in lol...... we climbed through shrubs and over flower beds chasing the dam thing... didnt it know that its life was in our hands, and that we was only trying to rescue it from certain death.....

After about 15 minutes, now wet cos the grass was wet and muddy cos of the rugby tackles lol the people begin to drift off, thank goodness..... I decided to knock on the houses either side of the house where the bunny was...... the bloke in the house on the left said that the rabbit actually belonged to the people in the house on the right of where we was running amoke..... so I knocked on there, and there was no reply..... so back to trying to catch the dam thing..... what we was gonna do with it, we hadnt stopped to think....... Jebus we was laffing so hard.......

The little house where the bunny was hopping around was a lovely little house and quite posh...... so as I ran past the front window in pursuit I stopped and looked in the window LOL..... ok ok, I know I shouldnt of, but I was nosey...... it was well posh in there LOL...... so I says..... cripes Sharon this house is well fancy, and she comes and stands next to me, but, oh no, she cant just have a quick gander can she, no, she has to put her face right up to the glass and hands above her eyebrows she has a right proper stare in....... there is me thinking, I hope these people really are OUT and aint gonna come walking down the stairs into this room with nowt on but a smile LOL......

As we both stood staring in the window, all thoughts of the bunny gone lol..... we hear a car pull up behind mine and hear 2 doors slam..... bloody hell, I think, its probably the owners of the house LOL....... but oh no..... of course it cant be that dam simple can it..... OH NO it cant LOL........

I turn around trying to quickly think what the hell I am gonna say to these people, and I look at the garden and the flowers, some of which was a bit flattened..... Sharon is still peeping in the window LOL..... as TWO POLICEMEN stroll up the path LMFAO....... shit, I whisper..... its the fuzz..... Sharon jumps round thinking I was messing around, and sure enough there stood to coppers lol..... I was so tempted to say 'ello ello ello' .. but I just said...... oh my, fank goodness, you two can help us catch the bunny....

OK, says the short copper, completely ignoring my plea for help, please explain what you are doing on this property..... we have just got a report of 2 people..... presumeably you 2..... peering into windows of this property and doing some strange dance in the garden...... HOW I KEPT A STRAIGHT FACE I WILL NEVER KNOW....... oh I say, they aint in, we thought we could shimmie up the drainpipe and in the open bedroom window and load the car up with the telly and video and DVD player....... oh and dont forget the microwave and the kitchen sink, pipes up me matie....... DEAD SILENCE....... are you trying to be smart.... the tall copper says.... well ya just gotta laff I says.... do we look like robbers.... do robbers take 6 nippers with them when casing a joint... I DONT THINK SO......

By now the rabbit was nowhere to be seen, so as we are trying to explain what we really were doing in this persons garden, we had no evidence LOL.......after another 15 minutes pass I say..... look, if your going to arrest us then hurry up cos we have nappies to change, shopping to get, bunnys to save and kids to pick up at noon........

I still had me camera out and was gonna take the coppers photo when he asked me kindly NOT TO POINT 'THAT' AT HIM AND CERTAINLY THIS WAS NO LAFFING MATTER lol...... they eventually believe us and escourted us off the property with words of..... next time if you both see an imaginary bunny, just call the RSPCA....... bloody smartarses...... we was just trying to do the right thing..... we was just trying to save a little bunny....... I know we pushed it by staring through the front windows LOL......

Dam those people next door who had let their black bunny rabbit wander out into the road....... so as the coppers drove off, I told me matie that we should write a note and post it through their letterbox LMFAO..



This is a photo of the quickly scribbled note LOL....... as I was posting it through the letterbox the bloody coppers had driven around the village green and stopped again next to me car LMFAO........ I just smiled sweetly as I walked backed to me car, jumped in and we drove off......

See, ya try and do a good samaritan deed.... ya try and be good and honest and caring........ and where the hell does it get ya........ ALMOST ARRESTED lol....... well sod that bunny, next time I will make a stew out of him.....

Enuff Twaddle for a Friday..... off to school to pick up nippers.....

X

27 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

Bless you for being concerned about the little bunny. I love you now more than ever!

Jen said...

It's amazing that your stories end up with you driving off instead of behind bars! :) Hope the bunny owners take your advice and keep it safe from now on.

JBelle said...

I wanna know who got the fuzz involved? I think they deserve a return visit from the Dangerous Duo, preferably when they are on holiday. (eyebrows raising)

raymond pert said...

Did you think of telling the cops your name was Elmer Fudd?

Kati said...

ROFL I woulda stopped too!!!! Sweet bunny rabbits. I'm also rather shocked that you haven't wound up sitting in the back of a police car yet, with the stories you share with us. Ah well..... Evidently the cops know that good intentions & all, things have a tendency to get rather wacky around you. I do love reading your posts, Toasty!

ciara said...

(((mel-slapper ho and anyone's for a good rabbit stew or a rabbit's foot for luck rubbing)))lmao boy the mischief you get yourself into. we have a lot of jack rabbits around and poor things are always roadkill along w squirrels, cats, and even skunks! but ewwww, try never to run over one or drive over it, the stink permeates ya car lol (or at least turn the air con in the car off if ya have to! lmao)

seenthatbefore said...

Mt I am pretty sure that you are well known to Scotland Yard and that,in point of fact, you are on a first name basis with those 'coppers'...given your secret intell background. Good story though.

Ol' Lady said...

I love your outings...always exciting :)
I would love to spend a day with you...and see what trouble we could stay out of :)

Catch said...

you sweety you!!! how could the cops possibly be upset with you???????? Bad cops!!!! lol

Akelamalu said...

Only you could almost get arrested doing a good deed! Is it just me or do coppers have their sense of humour removed once they take the oath these days?

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((MrFab)))~ WHAT? ya really love me :)...... xxxxxx

~(((jen)))~ When we use to have a proper village bobby, he use to know everyone and we was always pushing the laws and he would laff, now its slightly different with a central station.... xxxx

~(((JBelle)))~ It was probably some busybody that lives opposite and couldnt see us chasing the bunny over the hedge, and just saw us running amoke and peeping in the windows LOL.... I am a law abiding citizen :)...always... sometimes lol.....xxxxxxx

~((((((MrP))))))~ Googling Elmo Fudd..... a copper did say to me once, with his note in his hand ready to take me name...'and you are?'... and I said .... '5 foot 4 and a quarter' LOL....xxxxxx

~((((kati)))))~ well I know I have a 'well ard' reputation to uphold, but scratch the surface and Im as soft as toffee :).. especially when it comes to animals .....xxxx

~((((Ciara anyones for a lift of a bunny tail))))~ it was a pet bunny and I dont know no rabbit called 'jack' lol.....

When I was about 9 me and me brother had a rabbit each, pip and squeek.... when we got home from school one day the rabbits were gone, I darent say a word.... I loved that rabbit so much..... the next day, Ginger Thompson me dads friend turned up with to skinned and gutted rabbits for our tea :( and I had to eat rabbit stew and me dad would make squeeking noises and look at me across the table, how I ate it, I dont know, except if I didnt, I would of got a leathering.... :( - I aint ate rabbit as an adult......xxxxxx

~((((seenthatbefore))))~ I still have me connections lol..... ps..... Cowie is doing well and next week she is hoping to go out on a trip with me and me maties, photos to follow.... xxxxxxx

~(((ol' lady)))~ hehehehe trouble and nonsense just seems to follow me around..... whats with that? lol.... When I eventually come to canada we will cause havoc :)....xxxxxxx

~((((((catch))))))~ bloody jobsworth coppers LOL.....xxxxxx

~(((Akelamalu)))~ most have no sense of humour lol.... there is a copper in our main station in town called PC Cuff.... and he just dont think his name is funny for a copper LMFAO....our village bobby was great though and use to call me and me matie Thelma and Louise LMFAO... but after me matie Wendy sprung me from hospital that time, we was known as 'Thelma and Disease' LMFAO.....true story.....xxxxxxx

JBelle said...

Mel, I love your hand and your coffee! mmmmm

ciara said...

(((mel)))i'm sorry you had to call your parents 'mum n dad'. i'm glad you rose above them...damn, how cruel they were xoxoxo

Lynn said...

Bad bunny owners, indeed. If I could figure out which house the incessant early morning barking is coming from, I would leave a note, too. Poor loney dog, left outside all alone in the heat. Some people should not have pets.

Scots said...

The "Bunny Wardens" I laughed and laughed when I read that. Imagine getting caught again by the rozzers when you were posting the note hahahahahaha

You and yer maties must be fruit loops ... but I love yas :o) xxx

her indoors said...

LOL very funny, love someone with a sense of humour.
thanks for calling by please do call again I will be back!

Lena said...

ha ha ha....not your typical day, then. I guess rabbits will be off the pet list for a while..!!

BTW - I found your blog through Katie's and noticed from your profile that your son's are in bands..? Mine, too! Costs a fortune in electricity when all the amps and instruments are plugged in but that's rock and roll!!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((JBelle))))~ Thats me real hand :), and jebus could I murder a coffee right now..... love you xxxxx

~(((((ciara the sucker of bunny droppings)))))~ its ok :) really, it was what it was..... and I did use to call them other things in me head lol......xxxxxxx

~(((((Lynn))))~ we use to have a dog that lived next door that would whine and whine as soon at the pratts went to work and stop the minute their car pulled up, when I mentioned it to them they said it was not their problem..... :)- the dog disappeared and is now living in the Isle of Wight LMFAO in a lovely caring home.... and according to me matie, it dont whine no more... xxxxx

~((((Scottie)))))~ heheheh dont I just push me luck sometimes LOL.... xxxxx

~(((her indoors)))~ welcome to the mad house lol.... feel free to scroll right back and ave a read as to how crazy me life is :).... x

~(((lena))))~ welcome to you also :) - actually its is me typical day LOL.... if you also read back you will see that it was actually a very quiet day LOL..

I popped over to your site and also had a quick butchers at your lads band :)... I will have a right proper look later this evening when I have more time.....x

Mom not Mum said...

LMAO Love the note!!!

Lady in red said...

very funny :-)

the psycho therapist said...

Well darlin', *you* I talk to and get the live "skinny" so I'm just gonna wave at Jbelle and ask her (once more) where the fuck she's been.

;)


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OrdinaryShark said...

I believe that IS a normal day for you!

His Girl Friday said...

Hi I'm new here, but I suppose I'll just wade on in.

...Rabbit Wranglers?! Would this be an English version of a Rodeo?! ;D

I think it's great you stopped to help the escaped critter. The fact that you almost were hauled off by the police is rather amusing! My what those coppers must have been thinking?! ;)

thanks for sharing the story and giving us all a laugh!

Sparky said...

Great fun to read. Why do the coppers show up when you are doing the right thing and never when someone is doing the wrong thing?

Bay Views said...

The question was, "Why can't I have a normal day." First you would have to be normal. I find that the quest for normalcy is a waste of time. I personally don't bother with it. You can have much more fun without being or acting normal. thats for bores and people without a life. Keep on keepin' on, Darlin'

B.R.M said...

How funny! I would have tried to visit you in jail...brought you chocolate and cigarettes to buy your protection.

I am still laughing!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((MnM))))~ hehehe me matie sharon took that note photo on the front seat of me car lol.....xxx

~(((((Wendy))))))~ Ya know I always love talking to you :) - yeah and where the dam devil has you been JBelle...... xxx

~(((((((((Sharkie)))))))))~ Im finking your right, but would ya have it any other way....lol....hugz...xxxx

~(((HisGirlFriday)))~ welcome to the mad house with mad commentors lol.... fanks for popping over... x

~(((sparky))))~ welcome to you also :).... yeah, dam coppers....we use to have a village bobbie which was great cos ya could just knock on his front door if there was a problem, we would of posted the bunny through his door if he was still here lol....xx

~((((bay views))))~ cripes, Im honoured with your presence :).... well I do know I 'aint normal' and probably never will be.... so just call me 'abby' :) ya know, abbynormal LOL.....xx

~((((brm))))~ LOL, me finks I would do well in prison lol, me and me maties laff about it often, cos we sometimes push the limits and we discuss how we would survive if we all shared a cell LOL.... and hey, Im 'well ard' others would need the protection LOL.....xxxxx