Mission Accomplished - And - Should I Be Worried...

Ok........ first off, sorry I aint been around ya blobs and Twaddle of late.... trying to deal with Tosser X who will just not roll over and DIE... hospitals, a fall that has torn something in me good knee, hospital hoping I aint tore me acl that I had replaced a few years ago with me hamstring, will know more on Friday, interviewing parents AND getting the job for Febuary with 2 little boys - (The parents THEY LIKED ME)for more childcare arrangements and now an Engagement Party to organise for the 28th of this month for my Tom.... so even though Im finding it difficult to get about with 2 dodgy knees I HAVE TO STILL WORK lol... no peace for the wicked, all I can say is that I must of been a well bad kid and this is me punishment LOL

Anyways, enuff of all that bollocks......

Halloween came to this house in one mad rush, we dont do weeks before like doodles do, we just do HALLOWEEN NIGHT.... I let the nippers carve some pumpkins and we decorated the lounge, dragged the coffin out that lives under me bed with George in it and all the bits of bobs..... the minded nippers think that the coffin which looks like a real coffin that we made a few years back and is lined with black and red silk and the skeleton bones of George, well, they think its the bones of a minded nipper that didnt eat its lunch lmfao..... aint I mean.... it puts the fear of god into them.... that will learn em... fear is good right? and they all love me right? lol



This is George....

Anyways..... all me lads were going to various parties so I knew I would be mostly here on me own, I was invited to a party at Sharons but cos I cant get around to good, I thought I would give it a miss....

But, jebus the noise level in this house was just so loud and funny....... my Tom said he had a party to go to but had no idea what to go as, it was a spur of the moment party decision lol..... I told him to let me think for 5 minutes and I will come up with something lol......

BINGO...... I rummaged around in the shed and found a tin of green emulsion paint, its water based right? so that means its not like a shiny gloss, it would wash off right? eventually......

Well, we thought about it and decided to use it LMFAO cos we couldnt think of anything else.... THE HULK here we come..... so I painted, yes painted my Tom's face, arms neck, hands and body with green paint from the shed LMFAO..... we ripped an old Tshirt up and he shoved that on, we found some black spray stuff (I think it was car spray) and we sprayed his hair black lmfao..... all the time his 6 or 7 mates were just putting on boring masks and telling Tom he AND I were crazy lol...... oh my goodness, I laffed and laffed and laffed......

The finished product was actually great lmfao..... giggling as I type.... paint from the shed cost nuffin, as did the black car spray but the laffs were priceless....



Yep every bit covered, even inside his ears lmfao.......



Yep that will do lmfao...... the funny thing was, Tom has to work on Saturdays until 2ish, and he didnt get home til 3am in the morning and had to be at work by 8am... I didnt get up on Saturday cos I have a bit of a lay-in at the weekends or I visit Saint Matress Of The Springs as Soul Pumkin would say lol..... but when I did crawl out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom, me victorian sink and bath was no longer white but GREEN lol...... I waited with baited breath for him to come home after work, and sure enough he still had green ears and his whole face was green tinged LOL he had to scrub and scrub for over an hour in the bath to get the rest off LMFAO to dam funny....

The other funny thing is that my daft Sam and his matie Rob (yes there were about 15 lads and lasses here trying to get sorted, well my Sam and Rob decided to use the rest of the black spray and spray each others faces so that they looked liked gollies LOL..... they ran out before I had a chance to take photos.... it took a good 3 days to get the paint off their faces cos it was car spray paint lmfao......

Early evening whilst we was painting and stuff, the music noise level in this house was making the walls rock lol.... but I had NOT forgotten me mission of the evening....... ya see, I do get loads of treat or treaters, many of me minded nippers knock on me door, but they also know, as do most of the parents that come with their kids, that I DONT DO NICE on halloween, I say if they take their kids out trick or treating then TOUGH... they had better be prepared to be scared if they knock on my door LOL...... yet year after year they come back.....

Before my Jacob went to his party he positioned himself out on a chair next to the front door with a mask and sat or slumped real still.... waiting and waiting and I was inside behind the door READY lol..... we could hear the kids from across the road that were having a party, we heard them say to their parents, oh lets do Mel's place first please please and then again last LMFAO.......



He sat real still and as the kids approached we could hear them say (these kids were all about 5-7 year olds) I wonder if Mel is in, oh and look at that scarecrow its real scary, and I heard the dad say, it is, but its not real children, just knock on the door...... well as the kids came up to the door Jacob moved and howled LMFAO..... the kids screamed and one flew back so fast he smacked into me car that was parked out the front lmfao.... screams and tears and everything lmfao..... the parents laffed and laffed...... Jacob then took his mask off and the kids calmed down.... well, until they then knocked on me door. Ya see I have this hidious mask and I crouch real low behind the door and then I fling the door open and shout WHAT DO YOU WANT GET OUT OF HERE and I grab for their treat bags lmfao..... oh my oh......



This is me lol...... aint I pretty lmfao....

One group of older kids (6-8 year olds) Jacob wasnt sitting out the front (it was bloody cold that night) so he crept around the side alley and came up behind them quietly as they knocked on me door..... so as they screamed and turned to run he was there, it was just so funny, even a dad ran lmfao.... we did manage to grab one cheeky 8 year old and opened the lid of next doors dustbin that was out the front and put the kid in it, jebus he could scream and kick and shout lmfao.......

They KNOW if they come to Mels house then be prepared to be scared.....

Jacob even managed to scary the poo out of a passing dog walker who has stopped to look at our window display and to peer at him, thinking he was a scarcow, and as she peered real close he screamed as did she as she leapt back about 6 feet lmfao the dog started whimpering lmfao and then she started laffing and later in the evening she bought her kids back to be frightened lol

This Halloween night we made 3 kids wet their pants..... and one little 6 year old batman poo'd his costume lmfao...we shoved 1 in next doors dustbin and scared the life out of about 20 others lol.... the following day as I was hobbling back from school a woman ran up to me laffing and said, YOU made our night last night, I reconised the woman from when I use to own me pre-school, I said, I didnt see you last night, she said, Im the mum of the batman LMFAO....... she actually fanked me for making it one of the best treat or trick rounds LMFAO...... I just told her I WAS NOT responsible for the washing of soiled batman outfit LMFAO.....

There...... mission accomplished 3 wet pants and 1 soiled batman.... DONE AND DUSTED til next year :) - next year Im nicking an idea I read on a blob.... instead of little bags of sweets to give out, Im going to cook sprouts and dip them in chocolate lmfao..... now that will be funny lol as they pop, what they will think is a giant chocolate into their little greedy gobs lmfao..

The following night my Tom once again said, oh shit mum, think of something, I have another party in Town..... I told him I was all out of ideas, so he said not to worry, he and his girlfriend would think of something and they both disappeared LOL.... they came back an hour later on the way to the party..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now you have to know that my Tom is 6'4 and is gorgeous......he could easily make a male model if he so wanted instead of working in the motor industry lol.... his girlfriend Sammie is only 5'2 and tiny and petite and lovely...... well I laffed so hard when he walked in to show me his outfit that I almost had to rush out and buy some absordant pads...... I just couldnt stop laffing.....

If I had suggested to him a week earlier the outfit he turned up in he would of laffed and said NO WAY NO HOW cos my Tom is a right proper macho man....... this is what my gorgeous big strapping lad went out in a taxi on the Saturday evening to a halloween party wearing......



Yep..... aint he gorgeous lmfao...... the funny thing is my Tom has 2 half sleeve tatoos and a HUGE dragon tat on his back..... and his initials on his chest (thats incase he ever forgets who he is)....

He had only squeezed into one of Sammies maties dresses lmfao..... and she had done his hair and make up lmfao.... complete with fishnet stockings and suspenders and panties lmfao hahahahah and a handbag slung over his shoulder....he looked like a transvesite lmfao.....



This is him crouching down head level with Sammie LOL..... dig the beauty spot.... he had more make up on his face in that photo then what Ive ever had on me face in a lifetime lmfao.....



Should I be worried? he said it was right comfortable lmfao hahahahaahahahaha Tom wears size 13 shoes and sammie wears tiny size 4s so he put on his big boots just to get to the party lmfao..... to dam bloody funny......



I suppose if work in the motor industry hits a slump, Tom could always earn a little extra on a Saturday night down the old Guildhall Steps behind the Lion Statues, turning tricks lmfao (local knowledge thats where all the hookers hang out) lol



No one reconized Tom dressed as the Hulk when he walked into a club on the Friday, and no one reconized him at first when he walked into the house party on Saturday lmfao....... maybe his life should go down the private detective road cos he sure is a master of disguise LMFAO....

Through all the ups and downs and the highs and lows in this house, one thing ITS NOT BORING LIVING HERE lol

Ok, bored ya to Twaddke tears here on this crisp DRY Wednesday morning.......

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