Who Flung Poo Is NOT An Item On The Chinky Take-Away Menu...

Ok...... before I Twaddle me usual load of bollocks I would like to ask those of you that have some kinda faith or that god thing going on, to please give big thoughts to me Maties Shelley and Bob and their dear brother Mike.... as their brother Mike is fighting for his life in a Seattle hospital with a terrible illness....Shelley is a dear dear friend and BobsBlob (on my side bar,please go visit) was me first ever blob that I read, and Bob helped me through a very difficult time earlier in the year, and in different ways, I love them all very much..... Mike (SideNote) HAS to pull through this... he just has to.... PLEASE MIKE GET BETTER SOON....

Fanks....


Ok...... It dont seem right to Twaddle about my rubbish when people that I care about are struggling with such pain.... but...... twaddle I will.....

Im still at the hospital at least twice a week and sometimes 3 times, its very draining and buggers up my whole day having to organise me minded nippers to go elsewhere for a good 2-3 hours of my day.......

Anyways.... I dont have to go right over to Haslar Hospital but I go to our more local hospital for my twice weekly visits.... and if I go down the back lanes and up the back of Portsdown Hill, the hospital lies just over the hill on the Cosham side of Portsmouth.... well, from my house I suppose its only about a 15-20 minute drive, depending on if I meet any tractors or farmer Cutler moving his cows along the lanes or if the ford is flooded like it was last week and I have to make the decision whether to try and drive through a 3-4 foot flooded road or back track and go down the other lane.....

So..... twice a week I drop Sprite and whoever else I might have at the time, off at me maties house and my car just seems to go on automatic pilot as I drive the well driven route.... well, a couple of weeks ago I thought I would shoot up Pidgeon House Lane where the ford is and come out on the top of the hill cos it would knock about 5 minutes off the route cos I was running 5 minutes late...

Pidgeon house lane is muddy from the farms and very very narrow with just little passing places cut into the hedgerow for the occasional passing traffic....

Im driving along trying not to think of THE TORTURE CHAIR that I knew I would get the pleasure of at the hospital that morning, which leaves me in tears and often uttering the odd swear word lol....with me radio tuned into Radio One, and the sun was shining...... as Im driving along in autopilot I always have a look around the fields and often stop to talk to the cows that come up to the fence if ya lucky.....



This is what a right proper black and white British cow looks like....its a milking cow and not a steak and mince beef cow, aint it pretty..... I LOVE cows and I would LOVE to have a pet cow one day...... I know I know, like that is ever gonna happen lol -(for Toriz who is blind - a photo of a black and white cow sitting down in a field)..

As I get almost to the top of the lane I glanced over to the right cos I could see a tractor in the sloping field.... it was pulling something behind it, I thought maybe a plough or something, but I couldnt see to clearly as the sun was actually shining a little in me eyes...

Often when Im driving on me own round the lanes, I sort of go into a little dream world of me own, always looking around at nature or wildlife, me maties hate driving with me down the lanes cos I look more in the fields and hedgerows then what I do at the road LOL....

As I got a little further up the lane, still staring at the tractor in the field, cos I LOVE tractors LOL and all things farmish... something dawns in me head, and I actually exclamed out loud to meself.... OH SHIT...... and I frantically searched for the button to shut me electric window........

It was not a plough that the tractor was pulling, it was a bloody 'muck spreader' and it was flinging poo every which way out the back of the spreader.... I might be dam old but my reflexes are on the ball lmfao.... me window closed just as the most enormous blob of 'poo' hit my drivers side window right a face level LMFAO.... if I had not been so quick the poo would of hit me smack in the face LMFAO.... I could hear me car being attacked by splatterings of the stuff as I drove... I could see the dam farmer smiling the biggest smile ever and I was laffing so hard, me thinks he knew what had just happened LOL.

So I drove on up the top of the hill and stopped me car....



Who Flung Poo is so not an item on the Chinky Take-away Menu.... well, I dont think so, cos I couldnt see not one noodle mixed up with the poo on me car window...

I didnt have time to get out me car and look at the damage, so I just quickly took the above photo and continued to the hospital which was then only 4 minutes away...

Oh my..... oh my lmfao.... I got out me car.... already now late and was gonna hobble to the physio department, but as I was locking me car this is what it looked liked lmfao......



I think me windscreen on the drivers side took the worse of the poo hit LOL



Side view, it dont look as bad as it actually was LOL



This one is a bit fuzzy but you get the gist LOL

I hobbled into the Rehabiliation Centre at the hospital, where now they know me so well, and I was still laffing..... as were they when I told them what had just happened...... Anita said.... why is it you Mel, why do these things always happen to you... most fall in poo and come up smelling like roses, but you, you just get covered from head to tail in poo LOL

The laffing was not over though, cos after me two hours of pain and torture with me physios I usually have to sit a while with ice bags on me cos after THE TORTURE CHAIR and what it does to me, I cant actually walk for about 10 minutes after LOL... and I hobble through the reception area far worse then I hobble in lol, it makes me smile looking at the faces at the 'new people' waiting in the waiting room as I hobble by lmfao....

So.... I gets me token out me car to go and pay and get an 'out token' for the carpark barrier and hobble over to the paying machine, when I gets back to me car there is a bloke just gonna squeeze down the side of me car to get to his car that was behind mine.....You dont wanna be doing that, I says.... its ok, he says, I aint that fat, I will just be able to squeeze by........ YOU REALLY dont wanna be doing that I said again.... he had stopped by now and was staring at me....... its ok he said, I aint gonna scratch ya car...... and with that he squeezed down the side of me car and I started to giggle..... as he got past me car I was standing about 10 foot from him and he says...... OH SHIT...... to which I reply..... I TOLD you that you didnt wanna be doing that LMFAO...... he had only squeezed past me car and had scraped onto his business suit all the poo that had been on the side of me car LMFAO...... he burst out laffing as did I.... to bloody funny.... he was covered in cow poo, his jacket his trousers and his lovely pale blue shirt and tie LMFAO.....

See, sometimes I do give good advise, its that others just dont listen to me :)



This is what me windscreen looked like from the inside....... praise the lord I was quick enough to shut me window when the first flinging of poo began....

Enough boring Twaddle for an overcast Thursday morning.....

Please dont forget to gives thoughts and well wishes to Shelley, Bob and of course dear Mike who is right proper poorly....

x