What An Oven Slagbag.......

OK..... ya know when I was telling ya about me new washing machine, and the little bit of bovver I had 2 years ago plumbing it in...... well it was about the same time that I needed a new cooker, or 'stove' as the doodles say, which is soooooo a 1930s saying LMFAO.......

Well, its funny how stuff all needs to be replaced about the same time, and shortly before me washing machine was karput, me cooker(stove) needed replacing...... it was just not working proper and me cakes was coming out like volcanos and there aint nowt worst then soggy pies in the middle with burnt crusts........ so cooker shopping we went.......

As you probably have gathered I am a right proper easy shopper, I tend to know what I want and just go and buy it..... same as the cooker..... only this time I wanted a stainless steel one...... dont ask LOL........

Well that was just over 2 years ago..... the bloke in the shop said ya just take the old one out and slip the new one in the gap in the kitchen units, screw in the gas pipe and then bobs ya uncle.... ya can cook away until ya hearts content.... easy right? :) yep, sounded right simple to me.......

So, I had a quick look around at the few stainless steel cookers they had in the shop and thought I might as well replace the hob at the same time..... the hob is the top bit where ya put the pots on the burners..... I have no idea what you doodles call it lol....

I was well chufted with me purchases and with reassuring words from the man in the shop as to how easy it was just to swap them over, I drove home beaming with dreams of perfect fairy cakes and non soggy pies..... and crusts that didnt break ya teeth.....

First thing was to get the old cooker out of the gap in the kitchen units...... as you know this house is 'tool deprived' but a kitchen knife is just as good as any ole screwdriver right? and I did have a wrench for those awkward to reach places that might have a thing that needs unscrewing....

So armed with me knife and me wrench I set about trying to figure out how to pull the cooker out..... I managed to drag it out, it was not even screwed into the unit so with the door oven and a quick pull the whole bloody cooker just pulled out and landed on the kitchen floor.......

Ok, so it was attached to a pipe at the back but there was a screw and I did have me wrench in hand........

Gas pipe, screw thingie, wrench, me :) what team work LOL

I will admit that there was a little escape of gas, just like a gentle fart, when I unscrewed the screw thingie on the pipe connecting the cooker to the gas supply..... but that was to be expected right?...... it was a doddle, the cooker then lifted out of the gap in the units and sat on me kitchen floor.........

I quickly unboxed the shiny new cooker from the box, thinking I would save the box for the nippers to make a fire engine out of, that would make great craft project.......

I carefully lifted me new cooker into the gap only to find that the pipe on the back of the new cooker was on the opposite side of the cooker then what the other one was.... so that the gas pipe just wouldnt reach...... well, it wouldnt reach unless I pulled it and bent it a little to fit, 6 inches to get it to reach aint much to ask is it?...... so I yanked the pipe that was attached to the wall, with all me strength, pulling it as hard as I could towards the new fixtures on the back of the cooker.......

Ok........ when the gas was releasing slowly from the bent pipe, it was a good idea just to hold me breath, after all there is bound to be a bit of gas escape right, I was trying to reconnect, so thats normal right?......... LOL.......... it was when the gas started to gush out of the now bent and buckled gas pipe that I started to go a little light headed........ it was a nice feeling LOL..... ok this was not right, so I tried to put me hand around the bent pipe to stop the gas from escaping.... it was not working......... ok ok what to do....... now I felt like I was on top of the world, the kitchen was floating around dancing LOL....... British Natural gas is quiet a high LOL....

The gas just kept escaping and I thought I might of made a mistake in bending the gas pipe to fit, but the man in the shop did say it was an easy swap over......

I had to make a decision, so I abandoned the cooker as the kitchen was filling up with gas, I did think to open that back door though :) see - I aint all daft....

I rang Gordon, he would know what to do, he was after all a central heating gas fitter....... so I quickly explained what I had done and he sounded a little concerned, not his usually joking laffing self...... he said....... DO NOT turn on any lights....... or any electrical things, like I had time to sit and enjoy meself...... he asked if I knew where the gas supply TURN OFF tap was...... yeah right, like I would know if I even had one of those......so he said, are you on your own, to which I said YES GORDON lol.... he said, can you do me a favour and just get out the house and sit in the garden, Im on my way round now......gawds sake, like I aint got nuffin better to do then sit in me garden......... but I did....

and within 3 minutes Gordon was coming through me back gate saying...... bloody hell Mel I can smell the gas out the front of the house....... I said, maybe thats cos its coming out the pipe....... he went in me back door with instructions to STAY BLOODY PUT lol....... he was out within 2 minutes.......... with........ Mel, WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING........... trying to put in me new cooker, the man in the shop said it was just straight forward connection....... Gordon said, yep, it is, IF the pipes DONT need specialist bending LOL........he did a lot of shaking his head and lecturing that day..... and a lot of telling me stories of houses blowing up with gas leaks etc....... I think he was just trying to scare me......

Its good to have a go at installing some of these thngs right, aint that how we learn in life?.......

Anyways........ what bought this memory on was, cos that now said same cooker is now 2 years old and as much as I tried to keep it clean, when the lads have let stuff overflow and bits of pizza etc fall and burn onto the cooker, its got itself into a bit of a state and no amount of oven cleaning stuff from the shops get its spotless......so I got this man in :)



Now aint that just the funniest little van ever...... and just look what he did to me cooker.....



Just think this is the cooker that gave me so much grief and could of blown me house up, I take NO responsibility for that .......

All sparkling and shiny and CLEAN :)..... ok ok so it was 50 quid, but it was worth every penny......

So, as promised to 2 of me nippers, as soon as the midget cooker cleaning bloke with a foreign accent had gone, we set about making FAIRY CAKES :)......



Jon and Katie standing on chairs, aprons on, mixer, scales, ingredients at the ready......

What I dont understand is how people can bake with kids from packet mixes and think that they are cooking LOL....... that teaches nuffin to the kids, when you make cakes from scatch they learn so much...... we talk about so many things when we do cooking....... we learn about weights and measures and where eggs come from and flour and how to do hand eye coordination and how to break the eggs and dig out the shells and how if ya sneeze the flour goes everywhere...... so very much fun and laughter and learning when ya make cakes the proper way...... our only not proper thing as such when we baked in the week was that I let them use the mixer and not mix in big bowls with wooden spoons, but we had done that the week previous, so this to was a learning experience and it was fun watching the ingredients all whizz around as we added things....



This lad looks like he is away with the fairys, probably why he choose to make fairy cakes LOL...... he needs a bit of special help and is a few pennies short of a quid, so its very important to give him many different experiences :) - he got the flour everywhere to begin with lol



Time to weigh the butter......



Are we having fun yet :) - see me pink scales...... I DONT do pink - but I love me kitchen scales LOL



Yep Jon, eggs come out of a chickens bum LOL so you think thats funny to you LOL...... :)



Unless ya let them have a go a breaking the eggs and digging out the egg shells they will never learn :)......



Thats it, empty the eggs minus the shells into the mixer :)



Great job Jon :) great eye hand coordination......



Jon!!! are you dipping your finger into the mixture while Katie is concentrating LOL..... go for it son :)



How chufted are those nippers, fairy cakes all ready for the oven, and with only supervision they did it all themselves....... look at those faces of pride :)



Time for a quick clean up :)



WHAT A RESULT...... after waiting for them to cook and cool, they then spread them with chocolate spread and dipped them in sprinkles :)...... then boxed them up to take home and share with their families........

So........... enuff Twaddle for a sunny Friday........... just wanted to share me cooker story with ya, and just glad that Im here to tell the tale :).....

x