Saturday, 29 December 2007

Turkey Willys and A Beautiful Plate......

Ok.......... So, there I was crimbo morning with a huge fresh turkey infront of me..... sitting him gently into the roasting dish..... when my Sam walks into the kitchen..... just as Im shoving me hand up the turkeys bum to retrieve the bag of livers and the neck from its cavity :).......

Oh Mum thats well gross...... as I plop the livers onto a plate ready for Janet and Mabel me chickens to have for crimbo breakfast..... they leave these bits in so that one can made a good stock etc, but I dont bother with that, the cats usually get the goodies of the cavity lol.....

Sams face was a picture as I pulled out the turkey neck..... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT he says..... oh, its the turkeys willy I say...... oh shut up mum, it so aint..... yes it is I say as I hold it and wobble it in front of him...... MUM that so aint..... tiz...... taint..... tis...... taint...... so I put it nearer his face and he ran off into the other room with me chasing him, well hobbling after him in fast pursuit LOL...... he was screaming like a girl for his brothers to help....

Jebus, I heard him exclaim to his 3 brothers, you should see the size of that turkeys willy that mum has just pulled out of its bum........ oh my goodness, I was creased up laffing........

So then all 4 of me lads come out into the kitchen to have a butchers at the giant turkey willy...... all 4 actually believing that is WAS indeed a turkey willy lol....... then my Ben says to Sam...... I bet you wish you was as well endowled as that there turkey LOL......... giggles...... ya see, in this house willys and bums and bits and bobs aint never been taboo..... and things are talked about openly lol...... but a discussion on crimbo morning about the size of the dead turkeys willy was just to funny......



Sam posing with the 'willy' lol.... maybe thinking, one day when he is grown his appendage will also be as big...

I never did come clean as to what the turkey willy really was....... they still dont realise ITS THE NECK lmfao........ oh how wonderful it is to still to be able to pull the wool over their eyes, at their ages LOL


I have many many big antique oval platters that I use for roasts...... some of me huge plates are a 100 years old....... and like everything in this house, they are used, they are not just there for display and believe it or not I put me antique plates in the dishwasher as I do me antique jugs that we use on a daily basis..... me maties are horrified that I shove them in the dishwasher but ya have to be hardy to live in this mad house.....

Anyways, last year I fell in love with this GINOROUS oval plate by PortMerion crimbo collection...... its 23 inches x 15 inches, thats HUGE..... it was £75 quid which is like $150 to a doodle..... but it was in the pre-crimbo sale for only £30 ($60) and I so couldnt warrent spending even that amount of money on something that was not honestly NEEDED lol...... I was in this certain shop over an hour and I wandered back to this dish about 5 times, it just kept dragging me back and screaming at me to buy the dam thing...... and just as I was walking out the shop door, I thought, sod it, and I turned around and went back and picked it up and bought it..... I sat it on the passenger seat and then tried to convince meself that I was a right proper twit for falling for the cries of a plate LOL...... when we got home, thats me and the plate lol I unwrapped it and sat it on the kitchen cupboard where I could hear the shouts (in me head) of the antique plates, they was shouting at me from me welsh dresser LOL.... 'what about us' 'dont you love us no more' and 'who is that stranger'....... :)

So last year AND this year the PortMerion Crimbo collection plate was our Christmas Dinner Plate........ and gawd, how much do I LOVE this plate....... daft I know, there are not many material things in life that I love, BUT this is one of them lol.....



Here is it Naked :)

Aint it just so beautiful..... its also microwave safe LMFAO..... can you imagine what size microwave one would have to have to fit that plate into it LOL



Here it is dressed for dinner in all its finery lol



And here it is looking like its had a rough night on the tiles (english expression) like some cheap slapper after a quickie behind the lion statues down in the Guildhall Square LOL

I loves this plate, almost as much as I LOVED the larry lobster bowl.....I think Portie and me RIP larry bowl would of become good maties lol...... and Jebus help anyone that smashes, chips or scratches it...... you have been warned.......

Way to much Twaddling rubbish for a dark Saturday evening.....

x

36 comments:

katy said...

LOL you sure pulled the wool over their eyes, can you imagine the faces of their mates if they tell them LMFAO!!!
the plate is very very pretty and i hope you have told all the other plates that they are still special to you LOL

Mistressofthemoonlight said...

The platter is lovely! I can understand how it would be very special to you. Sounds like you had a wonderful day together with your sons. Merry Christmas, M

buffalodickdy said...

You're insane. I love you. Happy New Year- from one nut case to another! I swear to God, you've put me off turkey necks for life...

JBelle said...

It's gorgeous. I love the Portmerion Christmas collection; somehow seems real to me. Don't have any, though. Doesn't matter, either because YOU have some!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Oh, I just laughed so hard at the turkey willy. I have three boys and I know exactly what you mean about how gullible they can be.

Damn. Now I have to wait almost a year to try a turkey willy out on them!

Ol' Lady said...

Young teen age girls are about as daft as boys...Baby thinks the gizzards is testies! Ain't no way I'm tellin her anything else...too much fun!
Your plate is lovely...you are so kind to rescue it and give it a nice home :)

His Girl Friday said...

thanks for the laugh...oh, it's so fun to joke like that with yer kids!!! the plate is lovely, and the dinner looks fantab!!

Lang may yer lum reek!! ;D

Kati said...

ROFLMFBO!!!!! OMG, I can't believe they fell for that. One of these days, one of them'll get married to some girl who KNOWS what that thing really is, and she'll be VERY suprised when they talk to her about handling a turkey willy, and then they'll give YOU hell over it. *grin* What a hilarious story to have to remember on future christmas. *snicker*

Have a Happy New Year!!!!

Akelamalu said...

That's a beautiful plate Marmie - I want one! We went to Portmerion some time back but I didn't see a plate like that. :(

The story about the Turkey neck was sooo funny - I love it the way our kids believe whatever we tell them!

I'll be over again before the new year starts. xx

Casdok said...

I needed a laugh! Thank you!
Turkey willy! Excellent!!
And it did look good! The turkey that is!

Kelly Malloy said...

That is so funny! We moms have to have fun with the boys don't we!

Shelby said...

enjoyed reading this! :)

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((katy)))~ yeah, wool pulling is great, especially cos they aint little kids, bloody dinlos that they are lol....xxxx

~((mOtM))~ welcome back, from where did ya come? :)..... yep the platter is special... and it was a lovely couple of days..... fanks and a belated happy crimo to you...xxxx

~(((((buffalodickdy))))~ dont let ya misses hear you say the 'L' word lol.... and I aint insane, its been proven by experts lol Im just mental LOL..... it only put ya off turkey necks? lol its enough to turn people off willys for life LMFAO.....xxxx

~(((((((JBelle))))))~ :) I'll show ya the bowl I bought last week from the same collection lol.... I do have a couple of other bits of Portmerrion hanging around, all from the garden collection... which I also love, but the crimbo stuff just about blows me mind.... I will share it with you dear friend.....xxxxxxx

~(((((The Rotten Correspondent))))~ welcome to you :) nice to see you here.... yep them boys sure can be gullible at times lol and hey, why wait a year, go get yaself a turkey for easter LOL....xxxx

~(((ol lady)))~ yep I think me maties daughter is just as daft lol....the secret as the gullible giver is to keep a straight face, and thats something Im wellabitgood at lol..... I could look a vicar in the eye and tell him his flies were open without even a smile lol......xxxxxx

~(((his girl friday))))~ an long may ya chimney smoke lol.... the thin is, me lads aint little nippers no more and STILL I can get them in believing LOL....xxxx

~((((kati))))~ hehehehe just think maybe the girl will turn it around and say 'well boy, is that all you have in your boxers, something as tiny as a turkey willy' :) lol.....xxxxxx

~(((((ake)))))~ I wanna go to Portmerrion, you know thats where they filmed that telly programme from back in the 70s with that giant ball and that bloke kept prisioner.... what the hell was it called....... and yes the plate is rather beautiful, if you click on the photo it will get bigger and you can see in lovely detail the holly and the words......xxxxxxx

~(((casdok)))~ glad it made you smile, cos it certainly had me laffing me slippers off....the turkey was a tad smaller then we usually have, but we still got 4 great meals out of it..... xxxx

~(((kelly malloy))))~ welcome to you....... and yep, kids are there be it whatever age for us mums to wind up and sit back and watch them spin lol.......xxxx

~(((shelby)))~ welcome to you also...... glad you enjoyed reading it, I was laffing whilst I was typing it lmfao.....xxxx

Mom not Mum said...

lmao I have to wonder if my friend has that platter. When she moved we itemized her portmerion and it got to be OBSCENE the amount of pieces she had from everyday to Christmas.

And I am dying about the turkey willy. Kati what would be even BETTER is if one of them marries a girl that DOESN'T know what it is. lmao

Jen said...

I love stories about your boys. I so enjoy having boys and often wonder who they'll be in a few years. Everyone keeps hoping the one coming in June is a girl, but honestly, I'd be perfectly happy with another boy. Thanks for making me laugh...again. Happy new year.

Silver Valley Girl said...

I was sitting here in our living room reading your post and laughing out loud (as your posts often make me do)and my three daughters were in the room asking me what was so funny. So I shared the Turkey willy story with them, and they thought it was funny as well. I especially enjoyed the part of you chasing your son through the house with the willy. Also the plate is beautiful. I love getting new platters. And the turkey looks delicious...looks like it was enjoyed by all. Happy New Year!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

That’s hilarious! I shall go to bed—as soon as the cat comes in—laughing.

Akelamalu said...

Yes you're right Marmie - The Prisoner the programme was called. I did a post about it

http://akelamalu.blogspot.com/2007/03/prisoner.html

with some photographs we took whilst we were there. :)

Queenie said...

Happy New Year, you mad cow you!
Love to you and yours...

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

*snort*

...and what exactly makes you so sure you weren't running around with it's willy? Hmmmmmmmm?

*giggle*

<3

(OH! And could you share the recipe - I want to know what all the yummy looking things are surrounding that poor castrated bird on the BEST PLATTER EVER!)

Inland Empire Girl said...

I love that platter. What a yummy meal you served. Happy New Year!

Interplanet Janet said...

ROTFL..... I love you Baby..... ;)

Happy New Year Sweetie. Hope this one is even better thank last.

You are a GODDESS, Mel.

Your other chicken,

Janet

the psycho therapist said...

Happy New Year, Mel. May the one ahead be brighter...truly, truly happier.

This past year has been one hell of a ride, hasn't it? What with your health, worrying about the kids, your precious romantic heart, the wake-up call from he-who-is-no-more (wasn't that last January or do I have my months mixed up?)...

Yup, I'd say you're due. Overdue, in fact.

Raising my glass to you now, ya old moo. Takes one to know one. Hey, meet you in the back pasture in twenty minutes. Last one there is just-as-wonderful-as-the-other.

(smiling)
(hugging you close)

It's okay.
I hope.

___

Akelamalu said...

Wishing you A HAPPY NEW YEAR and everything that's good x

Scots said...

Wishing you and yours a happy and prosperous New Year! Hoping 2008 brings you everything you wish and hope for .... even the knight in shining armour!

"Lang may yer lum reek, wi other folks coal"

xx

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Happy New Year, Ms. Toasty! (2nd try)

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Cindy said...

Tell me those things beside the turkey on the platter weren't....well, you know, the other part of his "appendage"...

Happy New Year to you Marmie! Thanks for being such a wonderful bright spot in my circle of "blob" friends!

Pamela said...

I laughed all the way through this post. I have to go get the hubby

jolie-jordan said...

What a hoot. Turkey neck willie. Your poor sons will be the laughung stock when they go bragging to their mates about the big turkey willie their mom showed them. Did I say your are a riot? did I say your are wacko?

I do love your beautiful Christmas plate...naked and dressed. Wow! What a great looking Christmas feast. I bet you whole house smelled of the wonderful food. I love your Christmas decorations too. It all looks so homey. Well except for that ugly turkey willie.
tee-hee-hee

later my pal,
xxxJolie

MarmiteToasty said...

HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL...

~((((MnM)))))~ the crimbo pattern is called 'The Holly and The Ivy' :) I bought a bowl a few weeks ago... IN THE SALE of course lol....

I have a few bits and bobs of the Portmeirion, just jugs and round bowls I HAVE THIS THING ABOUT BOWLS lol.... but its only in the Botantical Collection, I dont like much of the other stuff.....xxxxxx

~((((jen))))~ sometimes I CRAVE for female company in the house, BURP~~FART~~SCRATCH.... see what I mean LOL.... counting down to June :)....xxxxx

~(((SilverValleyGirl)))~ ya laff at me life? :)..... I do have a 'thing' about bowls and platters and jugs.... me maties just dont understand, them being 'townies' lol....xxxxxx

~((((Saintly))))~ how your laffing didnt keep you awake lol....xxxxx

~(((ake)))~ thats the one, the Prisioner, I was just a nipper when that was on the old black and white telly, but I still remember it....... fanks for the link...xxxxxx

~(((((Queenie)))))~ Sorry I didnt get around to blobs over the new year DONT ASK lol..... hopes yours was good....xxxxxx

~((((pixie)))~ welcome back :) - cripes, they aint recipes lol they are just crispy roast spuds and parsnips and chipolatas wrapped in streakie bacon :).....xxxxxxx

~(((InlandEmpireGirl)))~ I have quite a stack of platters, which I try and use, I aint one just to have stuff shoved in the cupboard without using :)..... and to me, crimbo dinner is just like our Sunday dinner only a tad bigger :)...maybe thats why I dont get flustered like some of me maties that dont do a sunday roast.... cos I do one every Sunday lol.....xxxxxxx

~((((interplantChicken))))~ oh my, I thought you had disappeared..... and its NOT Goddess its GROSSess LOL :) loves you to :).....xxxxxx

~((((Wendy)))~ yeah what a year aye...... this coming one though, Im putting me 'well ard head' back on..... shoving me heart back in me pocket and stuffing a hankie on top, I also aint gonna take no more split lips, black eyes, thumps or abuse anymore..... aint having me knee done either, not now.. maybe somethings are overdue, BUT I should know those things aint in my calling no matter how long I queue for them :)... and that to, is ok..... time to stack the shelves of me mind neatly.... its just, some feelings I aint never experienced before, so it was a first....... and I know, a last, and that to is alright......

Happy Belated to you to my dear wonderful friend...... love you...xxxxxxx

~((((ake)))~ HAPPY belated NEW YEAR to you my dear new blobbing matie.....xxxxx

~((((Saintly)))~ Fankyou for such a lovely poem :) sending it back 10 fold to you dear man....xxxxx

~((((cindy))))~ well what would you say if I told you they was turkey testicles :) wrapped in the foreskin of a circumised duck LMFAO :) - and goodness, fankyou for you kind words matie......xxxxx

~((((pamela)))~ welcome :) I often have a butchers over on your blob, but it rarely lets me comment for some reason the page freezes...

Now ya aint gonna go get ya hubby so you can MEASURE emmmm up know whats LMFAO......xxxxx

~((((jolie-jordan))))~ :) me house always stinks of home cooking, I cook everyday, this lot eat me out of house and home lol.... I AINT wacko or a riot lol - I have been known to cause a riot before though, but thats another story lol :)

I think when me lads tell their maties stories from here, they know what a mad house this is lol cos most of their maties are always in and out of this place....homely but oh so small LOL.....xxxxxxx

OrdinaryShark said...

Oh those boy-os.
Bu I was admiring the Chicken creamer behind the plate.

Amongst The Oaks said...

Oh. My. Gosh! I was literally laughing out loud at your post! I love to do that sort of thing with my teens too. Isn't it great fun to mess with them? And the fact that they still believe us is amazing.....
Laura from Amongst The Oaks

Katrina said...

I'll have to try that one on my husband; I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what any of that stuff that comes out of the turkey cavity is! Your blog is always good for a laugh!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((((Sharkie)))))))))~ chicken creamer? LOL my you so have funny words for nornal things :) thats a JUG its the little jug that me matie Sharon bought me for me so called 'special' birthday back in September..... I loves me a lovely JUG........ hugzzzzzzz xxxxx

~(((amongst the oaks)))~ welcome to you :).... do you know that OAK trees are me most favourite tree in the whole wide world..... and yep, ya gotta mess with their dinlo minds sometimes lol....... fanks for popping in....xxx

~(((katrina)))~ yep ya hubby will be jealous of the turkey with a will that big lol.... and hey, this is a serious blob its not to be scoffed at LMFAO ;)....xxxx

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