Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Bad Muvver - Piles Everywhere......

Ok..........Back in March my Tom came to me asking if I would do him a favour...... My Tom is 6'4" drop dead gorgeous and is a gentle soul...... not gentle in the sense that he lets anyone walk all over him..... I mean he is gentle around the nippers I childmind and around my maties, he is very well spoken and can be just the funniest of people.....he works hard long 10 hour days and 6 hours on a Saturday.....he loves life with a passion..... but when out apparently he can hold his own in any given situation, he reasons with words but if push comes to crunch then he can be a bit of a scrapper if all else fails...... and as legion has it...... he is a force to be reckoned with and Jebus help those that mess with him wrongly or his brothers or his maties......

This is the son that a few weeks before crimbo, I awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of someone crying... not that uncontrolable crying but more a distraught deep painful crying..... I tiptoed out onto the landing to find my Tom sat halfway down the stairs with his head in his hands........ hey you, I say, whats up son...... ya see his girlfriend of 2 years had just rung him and dumped on him the phone...... this is a girl that I had let into me home for over 2 years and treated her as one of me own, even though she was the most boring brain deadhead young girl I have ever had here....... she could not hold a conversation, she hated going out, and month by month I could see her turning my fun loving chatty son into this boring moron...... but it was non of my business so I kept me council....



Tom and 'you know who' last year on this birthday..

Apparently she had been seeing someone else on the quiet, but word had got out and she KNEW that she had better finish with my Tom before he found out that she had been messing around, she apparently rang him whilst with this other bloke.... yet she was suppose to be 'out with the girls'...... and this bloke KNEW she was my Toms girl and he got frightened cos he knew that ya dont take someone elses bird especially NOT my Toms lol and he was scared of the consequences ....

Anyways I tiptoed down the stairs and sat behind my Tom and wrapped my arms around him like I use to do when he was a child...... and he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and then we talked and talked until morning came....we sat there for hours... he just couldnt get his head around that only hours before SHE had told him she loved him with all her heart and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, yet she went out knowing she was meeting this other bloke..... I tried to explain that people like that dont care about the pain and the hurt or the lies...... and he kept saying.... but how can I ever trust what another bird ever says to me....its not that she is finished with me, he says, thats not the problem, its that SHE LIED, she lied to me about loving me and needing me and how she ached when she was not with me...... oh my.... I so knew where he was coming from....

Anyways, what Im trying to say is that, my sons can and do tell me everything...... they would even tell me if they mugged some old lady up the road.....they can discuss anything with me and know that it wont be embarrassing and I mean anything... we openly talk about anything in this house nuffin is taboo and its always been that way, and then if something important or scary comes along, they are not afraid to ask me about whatever it is thats troubling them..... cos we made this pact years ago...... when their father left....... that no matter WHAT.... they would always have to tell me the truth about things, it dont matter what they had done or hadnt done, but the truth was what must always be told, because without the truth there was nothing I could do or we as a family could do to suss and sort out any problems......... and that is why the break up with his girl was hard, cos there were so many lies and he actually said to me....... mum, the truth is all that matters... why are most people not truthful.... why do they lie to hurt others.......... so I had to tell him that usually they lie for their OWN gain.... their own ego...... to get what THEY want in life and sod those they leave in their wake.....

So....... my sons tell me everything, good and bad.... and they know no matter what I will never leave them or abandon them, I will love them unconditionally, even though at times over the past 7 years raising them alone has not been easy.....

I have also always told them that if anything medically was a worry or if they didnt understand something about their bodies then they need to ask, or if they have a wart on their stirrup pump LOL I mean ANYTHING then it needs to be asked about.... and, touch wood me lads do openly ask about different things lol........ like the time when...... OH, YOU SO DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT lol

But most of all I LOVE winding me lads up...

So, back to March lol....... see how I just go off on a different track....... just wanted to say how close we are.... Im sure there must be some little things that I dont know about, but mark my words, they also know that cos Ive lived in this village for so very long and I know hundreds of people, that eventually stuff will get back to me LOL

So just before my Tom walked out to work back in March this is the conversation we had and what happened......

Tom - Mum, could you do me a favour if your going down the shops later today..

Me - Sure, whatga want Tom...

Tom - I think Ive got a pile...

Me - A pile of what?.. clothes? well just put them in the washing basket..



Tom - Mum, Im serious..

Me - Ok, dont tell me let me guess.. a pile of dirty plates in your room, I wondered where all the bowls were... go get them and put them in the dishwasher...

Tom - MUM... rolling his eyes..

Me - No, no tom dont tell me let me try and guess...



Tom - Have you quite finished?..

Me - Nope, hang on, Im sure I'll guess it...books?..



Tom - (now standing in front of me with his arms folded across his chest, looking at me like Im some escaped lunatic...

Me - ok Tom, one more...money... you have a pile of money that your want me to change at the bank for you?...



Tom - Mum, this is real serious, I think I have a pile... ya know, a pile on me bum...

Me - (Stifling a laff) what just one pile? dont they usually come in a bunch? and what makes you think its a pile, they dont usually venture out on their own.. actually laffing at this point..

Tom - Oh its a pile alright, I looked it up on the internet LMFAO.... so when ya down the shop can you go in the chemist and get me something for it - HUGE GRIN on his face..

Me - Tom, you know what a pile is dont ya, its a giant worm that couldnt find its way home in the dark and is just hanging around until its mates come out to play... and I AINT asking for cream in the chemist, they might think its for me LOL

Tom - Please mum, its not really a worm right? LOL and I have to get to work, mum 'if you love me' you'll help me......laffing, cos it was actually a really funny conversation..

Me - Dam Tom, thats so not fair......

Off he goes to work and off I go down our village shops plucking up the courage to stop in at the chemist whilst down there... knowing that I know all the staff in there and how was I to explain that this cream was NOT for me...

When I gets in the chemist shop there is a queue of about 4-5 people in front of me, they was just standing there, elderly and infirm, probably queueing for denture cream or such like...

So I just stand there, when over the heads of the queue, Suzanne the woman that is behind the counter says, Mel, what can I do for you....... oh, these people are first I say (hoping that no one else comes in so that I can ask for Toms cream when there is no one there).... oh, its ok, she says, they are all waiting for a prescription to be sorted, so what ya after.......

One side of me brain said dam and bugger and how do I shove these people out the way to get to the front and whisper to Suzanne Toms needs..... the other side of me brain just said, dont be stupid just ask....so, having to raise me voice a little I squeek...... Susanne, he has piles.......... WHO she says AND PILES OF WHAT lol... I thought, oh here we go again lmfao..... (Suzanne has know me for over 20 years and knows me lads well, some of her kids are of the same age)..

So I keeps a dead straight face and I says......... Tom has a pile, just one, not a bunch, just a single pile, he wont let me have a look so that I can check that its a pile - not that I would even know what a pile would look like - he says there is one and not a bunch of them running riot, he has looked it up on the internet and is sure that what it is, HE has asked me to see if you have any cream for his single pile..... by now the chemist shop is oh so quiet and I could see the man infront shoulders going up and down where he was trying NOT to laff.....

I says, I told him they usually hang around in a bunch, but he is just not having it... so if you could show me where I can get whatever the hell he is suppose to use, then Im sure he will be forever grateful, cos he said it hurts to sit down LOL.......

Donuts, the man in front says through his laughter...... donuts, thats what your Tom needs....... it makes it more comfortable to sit........ so I says to the laffing man...... he only likes apple donuts and the bakery only do them on a Monday and Friday........ I thought, what the hell is he talking about donuts when my poor Tom needs pile cream......... no he says, you have to get a donut shaped cushion so the pile sits in the hole....... well by now the whole chemist shop is in a fit of laughter.......



That will be £4.95 (about $10) she says.... jebus I say, thats one expensive pile...... I paid me money and left the shop to sounds of giggles...... bloody old codgers aint got nuffin better to do with their day then take the piss out of the less fortunate lol

So when Tom gets home I toss him the bag with the cream in and says.... you owe me a fiver son and you so do not wanna know how difficult it was to get hold of.....

The following day, when Tom came in from work he gave me the cream back and said.... do you think you can take this back to the chemist and get me fiver back.... so I says...... but ya have used it Tom..... well, he says, only once and then me pile was no more........ shut up I says, one dab and ya pile is gone........ well, he says, all sheepish...... actually I think it was just a spot.........

JUST A BLEEDIN SPOT....... I went through all that for just a spot..........

I wish me lads didnt share things with me LOL Ive changed me mind on tell it all and sharing everything....... in future I DONT WANNA KNOW......

I hunted his bedroom to try and find the cream to get a real photo, but alas all I found was piles of clothes and plates and books and money....... Im a Bad Muvver there are Piles Everywhere....

Why do I have that song in me head *I can see for piles and piles and piles* or is that 'miles' :)

Anyways, way more then enough boring Twaddle for a Tuesday evening where Im knackered beyond knackered and all Ive fit for is the knackers yard :)...

x

ps..... my Tom at the time of the break up with his girl, he thought it was the end of the world and no matter how gently a I told him that he was young and he deserved to be loved proper by someone that was genuine and fun and strong etc... it didnt believe it...... I told him its when ya get to my age thats when things in the relationship stakes can look bleak....... anyways......... he has been going out this this beautiful, intelligent, clever girl for the past few months, she is funny and bright and is training to be an accountant...... my Tom is actually alive once again...... and when he bought her around last night, he was beaming just beaming, it made my heart sing for him......

54 comments:

Mei Del said...

awww i'm glad your tom has a happy ending - all i can say is it must have been one enormous pile, er spot. lmao :D

JBelle said...

yaaay Tom! and I'm really glad he didn't need you to buy him a donut. ;)

BX_boy said...

Apple donut, you don't say?

I'm a fan of the jelly donut myself.

ciara said...

i'm sorry that tom had to go through that, mel. it does hurt when people lie and say things you want to hear but never really mean them. you know what i thought of that girl anyways just by looking at her photo...a snotty little bitch. so good riddance to her! and omgoodness at the pile story LOL i actually had to use one of those donuts before...and no, it was not an apple one. :P~~

Charles Gramlich said...

I got a tear in my own eye when you talked about putting your arms around your son when he was crying. Made me think of my own boy, who is not so big but who is also a good soul. They'll always be our children eh?

Jen said...

I can always count on you for a laugh, Mel. Thanks. And thanks, too, for another example of how to tease my boys when they're older. Teenage boys scare me a little, but I'm starting to look forward to it thanks to your great stories about your wonderful boys. Now if I can just find someone to help me with a teenage girl in 13 years! :)

Sue O. (aka Joannie, SS) said...

Hey, once the baby leaves the womb, mums are granted a special license to "pile it on". Great fun!! I hope things work out with the new lady. Nothing is worse than having to watch a heartbroken child sob over lost love. Getting the cream reminds me of a pharmacy in town that is probably the only reason its clients are still alive. ("No one under 90 admitted without a terminal illness")

JeanieSpokane said...

Great story about your Tom! So funny! My boys will tell me everything too and I have to just not giggle or roll my eyes, so they'll keep confiding in me. I love being their Mom.

Hugs to you dearie!

soul pumpkin said...

Tom is a fortunate lad to have such a wise and loving mum...
...and the subplot of this story could fall under the category of "humourroids", don't ya think?

Pamela said...

a hemorrhoid and a pile, ta boot.
so glad he's rid of both of them.

A.Decker said...

That's too funny! Exposing poor Tom's bum at the chemist's!*LOL*

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I’m so glad that Tom has overcome any sadness of that flighty bird! AS for the cream, hopefully it’s good for somethin’ else.

Blessings to you, dear Ms. Toasty!

Coral said...

I believe that cream is good for those bags under the eyes - no I have not tried it!!

Poor Tom, I know how helpless you feel with your son crying, it is harder than your daughter, every day of the week.

But things are looking up - you go Tom!!

Tori_z said...

LMAO!

Tori_z said...

Good to see you're back to posting some of your funny stories again. I'm hoping that's a good sign. :)

laughingwolf said...

lol

donuts i have to shun, bad for my weight problem :P hahahahaha

but yeah, great kids get that way from at least one great parent... nicely done, mt :)

Lehners in France said...

It must be hard when someone is mean to your kids, I don't think I would cope very well in that situation.

"Piles" is French for battery, you wouldn't believe how many Brits go to the doctors here and say they have batteries up their arses! LOL
France (((X)))

susan said...

Ya'll must have better commercial rules for T.V. than we do because there are commercials for the medicine of all kinds of embarrassing things over here. We all know what kind of cream we would have purchased. I don't know if that is a good thing or not.

So, he is out with an accountant, huh. He must have excellent taste.

LadyStyx said...

*wipes tears from eyes and holds stomach 'cuz it hurts from laffin*
I am just so glad I had wandered in here that one day from Tori's blog. You are so funny.

Im really glad Tom (ooh he's a real cutie aint he) finally got someone that makes him happy.

Lee Harris said...

What a great mom you must be and how very lucky are your kids.... Yes, folks do use that roid cream for puffy eyes... and those damn things (single or in bunches) do disappear as quickly as they come out like a bulge in a weak bike innertube wall.... My Mexican doctor proscribes Daflon to prevent attacks...........TMI, eh?

Akelamalu said...

I remember you blogging about Tom being dumped by his girl and how upset he was. It think I said then that he would meet someone else who would be better for him and I'm so pleased it has happened.

Funny story about the pile Mel, keep the cream you never know do you? xx

Hope the knee is improving honey. x

raymond pert said...

Keep the tube of cream but don't store it near any toothbrushes.

Out of the blue said...

Great story and I am so happy Tom has been mended in heart and ... uh, in all places.

He is a doll. Lucky girl.

little wanderer said...

must off been one hell of a spot!
so glad he is happy again.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((mei del)))~ yeah, this new girl has bought him back to life :) - apparently it was pimple size lmfao....xxxxx

~((((JBelle))))~ I honestly thought the bloke in the chemist was talking about edible donuts to ease Toms pain lmfao....xxxxxxx

~((((bx-boy)))~ our village bakery does so many lovely fresh donuts, iced apple ones are to die for lol....

jelly? is that like jam?...xxxxx

~((((ciara))))~ Im sure he is gonna get his heart broken a few more times in life, just as he is going to break a few himself :)... she wasnt snotty she was just very DUMB lmfao... never heard my Tom laff when with her, and now he is laffing all the time....xxxxxxxxxx

~((((charles))))~ my man/child is a foot taller then me, but just sometimes he still needs the love from his mum, and yes they will always be our children....xxxxx

~((((jen))))~ oh my, Ive been so selfishly been wrapped up in my own poop of late that I have so neglected you CONGRATS ON THE BABY.... I will pop over today and catch up proper....

I think the teasing of my lads makes for a greater bond sometimes...... I tease me minded kids all the time and joke around but they are just so use to me now that they just roll their eyes cos they know me to well now lol.......xxxxxx

~(((((sue))))~ young love aye, I didnt like to tell him the lost of a loved one dont get easier with time or age lol...... xxxxx

~((((jeanneS))))~ you so do NOT wanna know what one of me lads asked me last night as he rushed in looking for something.... LOL hunting everywhere for something lol before rushing back out...... my maties here, who dont have man/childs just wouldnt understand how we talk to each other sometimes LOL.....xxxxx

~((((soul pumpkin))))~ I dont think he is fortunate, I dont think he had a choice of who his mum was LOL.... all I can do is the best I can under extreme circumstances sometimes :).... thats all I have to offer him and his brothers......xxxxxxx

~(((pam)))~ yep the 'girlfriend' was definetly a hemaroid on his arse LOL.....xxxxx

~((((a decker))))~ welcome - next time I will take photos to the chemist so they can get a better idea LMFAO......xxxxx

~((((((((Saintly))))))~ one just wants ones kids to be happy, no matter what age they are..... I'll have to google pile cream and its many uses LOL....xxxxxxxx

~((((coral)))~ :) not my bags of late they are the size of shopping bags where the handles had snapped....

Tiz hard to see ones kids cry, especially man/childs.... but it was also nice that he let me just hold him until he was all cried out......xxxxxxx

~(((ToriZ)))~ sigh....xxxxx

~((((((((Wolfie))))))))~ dont know about great parent, Im all they have and I aint always got it right on me own, I dont have a 'raise ya 4 sons alone manual' lol but I give it my all and I have nuffin else to offer, lets hope its enough aye......

Donuts are good for the soul :)....xxxxx

~((((((France)))))~ you would be surprised at how many people actually go to the doctors here WITH batteries up their bums for real LMFAO.......

I always found this girl of Toms such hard work to be around lol...... knew she was not right for him, but it was not my decision to make or comment on.... he can see all that now..... new love, fresh friendships does that for ya lol......xxxxxxx

~(((((((((((susan)))))))))))~ yep she is a trainee accountant, I love her attitude and how well she has done, she lost her dad when she was 11 and her mum is slowly dying of a brain disorder and she has a younger sister that she is helping raise... yet she worked hard at school knowing she will so need to be self sufficient and self dependant.... she has had a hard life yet she is full of life and laughter..... xxxxxxxxx

~((((ladystyx)))))~ stop laffing about me life LOL.... you should try living it lmfao.... Im glad you came here :)...xxxxx

~(((((lee))))~ welcome to the mad house - well I dont know about me lads being lucky, I expect they would beg to differ somedays lol.... LOL@TMI.... hey, Ive lives with just lads for way to long for anything to be TMI ;) especially after what happened here last night lol - xxxxx

~((((ake))))~ yeah I think I might of blobbed about it last year, or that might of actually been about me other sons lost love LOL....

so so on me knee :(........xxxxxxxxxxx

~(((((((MrP)))))))~ LMFAO hahahahahaha now that would be so funny........

I emailed ya about the 'staples'......xxxxxxx

~(((((little wanderer)))))~ as it happened he said it was just a tiny weenie little pimple lmfao..... I went through all that nonsense for a pimple lol.....xxxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((out of the blue))))~ opps I missed ya lol.......

Sure its not gonna be his first heartbreak for the first lies he will have to sort out in life...... we all know that as adults lol.....

And, yes, I know Im his muvver and all that BUT I can honestly say, he turns heads with his gorgeousness lol..... he is strikingly handsome and tall and fair headed :)....but that aside, he is a very very nice lad to :) and works hard to boot lol...xxxxxxx

jolie-jordan said...

Once again you have proven that one can find humor and see more then one side of any situation if you approach life with kindness, hope and humor and of course be generous with love. Thanks for sharing this...it's one of those (I know all of this too) but I am in a bad spot right now and much of it has to do with kids and their problems that I had foolishly thought would not be my problems when they became adults...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Now that is some humor for you.

I now know it as the big myth. I think I was judging what life would be by the way my own parents and in-laws behave and I had forgotten, for a bit, that they are/were nothing like me.

What with me being in such a rancid spot...well, I needed to be reminded of the humor I need to seek. So thank you, my friend.
..................................

Meanwhile...back in England...will your son Tom ever be able to face that chemist again? (LMAO)

OMG...my kids would kill me. They would think it funnier then hell if I used their brother or sisters names but not their's.

And I will have you know after a couple of those big lugs (10.8 and 10.1 pound babies) came out of my bottom I loved the donut the Doc gave me. Sore, sore bottom for a long time.

Anyhow...I am about rolling around to the age where I think of running away and joining the circus under a false name and to simply become one more of the thousands of missing people in the world. Many of which are female and were crazy enough to tell their kids...you can tell me anything. Many of the missing and presummed dead are simply hiding out to get some peace.

Hell...I am at the point right now where I feel like saying...God, kid be creative and lie to me... Truth isn't all it's cracked up to be. Or, I might say, go talk to a shrink (I have done all I can for you). Or, don't you have friends you could talk to? Or...I won't tell you mine if you don't tell me yours. Or, can't you see this is falling on deaf ears? Or, sorry to tell you this but I'm sure they switched babies in the hospital when you were born and you need to now go find your real mother.

Did I mention that I am in a rancid mood?

Dammed kids never listened to me before so why do they ask me now?

I mean hell, any old scruffy bum or druggie off the street has always had more wisdom then me. At least it seemed so when they (the little darling would listen to them) would listen to their wisdom.

KID:

"Mom, it is just a myth that weed is a gateway drug."

BUM:

"Ahh fuck...smoking a dubbie won't hurt you kid. That's just old wives tales or a bitchin' Mom trying to scare you kid." "Has she tried the (you're going to go to hell thing yet)? Just tell her we already live in hell man...what the fuck." This coming from their new best friend.

From the kid..."Mom you never like my friends."

MOM:

Ya think?

Without humor over the years I'd be long dead by now...so Marmie thanks for the reminder. Because I either have to find the humor again or find myself gone missing.

"What's love got to do with it...do with it?" As the words from Tina Turner's old song said.

GAWD...just everything. Some days I just want to be a Dad.

later then...

XXXJolie

jolie-jordan said...

By the by...How is Tom's bottom doing now?

I'm glad the new girl is so good for him.

XXXJOLIE

Ol' Lady said...

Kids & honesty is a hard thing to get together when your a parent. My girls have always come to me for 'the right answers' you think boys/men have interesting questions...girls questions are fuckin scarie!!!
You see with boys you only have one pecker to worry about with girls I have billions to worry about!!!
Hope your hobblin around better these days :)

Echo said...

I love your voice,
I can hear it so well.

I'm glad I found you, I am a single mom of three marvelous boys myself, I can see just all that as you write it. And Tom sounds just so much like my own oldest.

Thanks

Bina said...

Did you actually say "Stirrup Pole"? That one made me almost cry!!! I can just see it now. The pharmacy. Old people. I bet they were laughing cause they knew EXACTLY what you were talking about cause half of them probably had one! LOL

Of Mel, you are so refreshingly honest and funny. I just love you. Will you be MY mom???

So happy for Tom! He certainly deserves this girl after what he went through with the other.

buffalodickdy said...

Piles and girlfriends on the same posting.... This means something...

Jayde_Bramblerose said...

well i have just popped in here from my tori's blog, and my god i am glad i did.

i dont think i have laughed so much for ages, and now i have the belly ache,lol.

from tori's grandma

Slip said...

My sons are the same as yours when it comes to the truth. They still tell their mom everything and they are in their thirties! My youngest got stung by a girl, they were almost to the alter. He still sees her from time to time, and he tells her it is good for him. It reminds him how lucky he was that they never got married. I also love to death his new girl, she has a personality.

(Very) Lost in France said...

Toasty - glad to see you back on form. Hope Tom has found the girl he deserves. VLiF

Lady in red said...

I'm glad to know I am not the only mum to have a house full of piles although in this house most of them are upsidedown or collapsed piles.

One day perhaps in about 10 years I shall have a house without piles

Lisa said...

Dear Ms. Toasty:

If you would be so kind as to email me at LisaAlso (at) aol (dot) com, I will respond with my snail mail address, as per your request on my innernet blog.

Please be so kind as to include your Queen's proper name and address, I too would like to post something or other to you.

Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter, you daft cow!

Dumdad said...

A great read about what are referred to in rhyming slang as farmers = Farmer Giles = piles.

I have heard that piles cream reduces wrinkles under the eyes - women will do anything!

It reminds me of the tubes of cream advertised to enlarge one's "manhood". Rub it in and see your todger grow! But wouldn't your hands get bigger too?

Slip said...

Toastie!

Take a ride over to my place I posted at last! I am such a lazy blobber.

Maggie May said...

Glad Tom has a lovely new girl friend. Also thought that the pile story was very funny!

kaylee said...

WHOS TOM AND how you doing?

Within Without said...

What a brilliant post, Marmy...those sons of yours are just off their rocker to have a mum like you, you're the kind of mum every son should have...

More power to Tom, because he gets a lot of that power from you, piles or no piles, spots or no spots.

And how's Ed, by the way?

Frum Helen Back said...

Dear Mel,

If you wrote a book, I stand in line for many hours to buy it. Thanks for the entertainment. You make me smile so big while I'm reading your blog and I never want it to end.

Forever Young said...

thanx for your visit! your blog is so damned funny i could relate to it all,having 2 wonderful grown up sons (boys are best!) and i laughed my head off. will be back for more. hugs from london xx

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((((jolie))))))~ sorry your not in a good spot or is that pile? at the moment.....I think its harder in so many ways now my lads are older then when I had them all under the age of 9 with a houseful of minded kids to boot.... Im afraid kids dont come with instruction manuals..... and when me X left (not that he was much good at fatherly advice) it was all piled on my shoulders... I could only go with what was in me soul.... I could only learn from how shit parents my parents were and also do the opposite of that.... but at times, I could easily of either strangled the bleeders or so just walked out the door and not looked back like my friend mad Moria had done with her 4 kids.... but, I was all they had/have... so its all down to me to try as best I can to do the best I can, I dont always get it right and sometimes in this house its like a war zone...big time... all I can do is give them the tools for life and what they choose to do with those tools is then down to them.....

I'll tell ya what, give me a couple more years to finishing raising my youngest and I'll gladly run away to the circus with ya lol or to a little cottage perched on the cliffs in Cornwall or a little remote house in America somewhere near the sea, and just have chickens and goats and grow our own veggies and fuck the world aye :).....

Actually thats all on the cards in the near future lol....... Jacob keeps saying, mum lets just go to America please...... he so desparately wants to move there more then anything.... just waiting to see about the outcome of me knee...... and then its trying to suss out which part to start life again on our own... my Sam would possibly come with us.... but who knows......

I know I dont wanna grow old in this village on me own, not now, I would rather start the last part of me life afresh somewhere in new surroundings, like a new venture..... my roots have grown to deep hear and tangled, time for a bit of pruning.....

Jolie without humor I would of been dead many many years ago, without a hard shell I would not of survived not only childhood but all that my life has been......

I keep holding on to the hope that maybe just maybe there is something good just around the corner.... something just for me, just once before its all to late.... maybe someone to love me truely love me.... ok said to much now lol...... (((Jolie)))) fanks friend you are one speical person in my life.....see how you made me waffle on and on lol xxxxxxxxxxx

~(((ol lady))))~ I think it would of been nice to have a girl about the place all these years of being on me own, but in ways I think that maybe boys are easier, Im not sure though.... maybe thats why I aint girlie as such, its hard living with just sons LOL.....xxxxxxx

~((((echo))))~ welcome you :) - ya cant ere what? lol and dont say I type with an accent lmfao..... let me tell you a secret... THEY AINT ALWAYS MARVELOUOS lol.....xxxxx

~(((bina)))~ nope I didnt say 'stirrup pole' I said 'STIRRUP PUMP' lmfao....

We are so very open in this house about most things.... I have such a funny story about how open we are here that happened Thursday evening lol but thats for another day :)....xxxxx

~((((buffalo)))))~ well the first girlfriend might of well of been a pile cos she had a personality like a smacked arse LOL......xxxxxxx

~(((jayde - ToriZ's nanna)))~ welcome to the mad house lol..... your Tori is one special strong brave wonderful person :)... hope you pop back......xxxxxx

~(((slip))))~ broken hearts aye.... its hard to deal with me own let alone having to deal with theirs lol...... me eldest had to move back home after a broken love of 6 years..where is not only lost his girl but his job cos he worked for her father, which also meant he lost his flat cos he couldnt pay the mortgage...... but ya do ya do.... this is still his home and always will be... xxxxxx

~((((((lost))))))~ they seem quite smitten, but ya know young love... so we will see what happens....xxxxx

~(((LIR))))~ yep one day I might have me house back and how I really want it to be..... we live in hope lol.....xxxxx

~((((dear lisa))))~ how did you know the queen is me auntie ;).... as per your request upon my request upon your blob, I will take time out of my busy schedule this afternoon and pen you an email with all up todate address information :) LMFAO.......xxxxxx

~(((dumdad))))~ LOL I was tempted to put Farmer Giles but I didnt think anyone would understand me lingo lmfao hahahahaha

And I would of thought just rubbing ya todger would enlarge it without the need for creams lmfao..... just rub quietly if you in the pub LOL....xxxxx

~((((((((slip))))))))))~ Ive been over and I LOVE it :).... do ya need help? I will work for lodgings and food :)..... xxxxx

~(((((maggie)))))~ I will admit I so laffed over Tom and his description of his pile..... he looked it up on the internet lmfao...xxxxx

~((((kaylee))))~ Tom's me second son out of 4.... and Im diddling by fanks.....xxxxx

~((((within without shake it all about))))~ I dont know how to be any other kinda mum.... I only know how to be me.... I just hope its enough for them....

Oh and Ed, he is sooooooo last month lol I dumped his sorry useless arse lol not that he even had an arse lmfao....xxxxxxx

~((((Helen)))~ oh hush with ya daft talk lol...... ringing Sharkie me agent lmfao..... I just write me everyday rubbish thats all.....but fanks for your kind words lol.....xxxxx

~(((forever))))~ welcome to the crazy world of my home lol..... yep boys are the best but then thats cos thats all Ive known lol.....xxxxxx

ChrisB said...

The tale of the 'pile' was brilliantly told.
Glad to hear that Tom now has a girlfriend who appreciates him. It's awful to see your children suffering and in my case grandchildren (eldest grandson has had a couple of bad experiences with girls~ young as he is!). It's lovely to hear about the wonderful relationship you have with your children. Many parents can't seem to communicate with their children which, in my opinion, is why there are so many problems in many families.

Frum Helen Back said...

Your everyday rubbish is so very entertaining.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((crispy)))~ yep, love is such a fickle thing..... and when they hurt I hurt....

I do have a strong bond with me lads, but believe me, we do have some right proper hum dingers here to... its not always fun and laughter, though it usually ends up that way.....xxxxx

~((((Helen)))~ dont make me come over there and bitch slap ya lol......xxxxx

Tori_z said...

How's your knee? Showing any signs of improvement yet?

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((ToriZ)))~ I have me main consultant tomorrow, that will determine whats to happen on Thursday.......

x

Lehners in France said...

Toastie, write down any questions you have today before you go to see the consultant. You know what it's like when you are in front of these people, your mind goes blank. If you write things down you can refer to your notes during the consultation. Yhinking of you all the time, but especially wishing you all the best luck in the world for tomorrow and Thursday. Lots of love France! (((xox)))

LadyStyx said...

I dont think it's your life per se that I laugh about. Surely if I had to live it, Im sure I'd be a miserable cuss about it and not quite so pleasant about things. I think it's more the way you handle yourself in the face of adversity that I find entirely humorous. Man I wish I had your quick wit in similar situations. :)

Inland Empire Girl said...

I remember years ago a friend telling me about having to sit on a donut and I just couldn't figure out why she would use a sweet donut instead of a pillow! Now I am so much wiser. lol. My thoughts are with you as you go to the doctor this week.

Cindy said...

Wishing Tom piles of luck!