Friday, 13 April 2007

New Toy, I Must Be Mental - BIKES PART I - Unleaded Petrol and 2 Stroke Oil

Ok.......... So last weekend was a mix of things for me, shared secrets, AND a new toy....... well I say a toy but in actual fact its not a kids thing...... even though this machine is small and tiny ITS made for adults, they are illegal to use on the road and now if the police catch ya they automatically confiscate them and crush them......... yeah well they have to catch ya first.......... :) - sorry me solicitor maties LOL

Dont be fooled by the smallness of this baby, she is quite a throb between ones legs........ and to see my Tom at 6' 4" on it going hell for leather down our little road is very funny to see .......

Ok here it is, this is our new toy.....and just look at that beautiful boy sitting on it lol

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This is what we call over here 'a mini/midi moto'.... look we had NO plans to buy one of these, afterall they are well expensive... and some of me older lads maties have them and race them up their well off parents property, well ya see we only have a weenie garden, use to have a bit of land when I had the plant nursery, but no longer....... so me lads have always sort of drooled over them and inwardly ached for one LOL ya see I KNOW these things......

But it just so happened last friday that we was in the garden juggling, well trying to, when me phone rang and it was a matie and he just said........ Mel, mini moto, do ya want to buy one......... so I says, hello Steve(me maties hubby)...... is it nicked? .... no.....Does it go?...... sort of........ how much?....... 30 quid ($60)....... Steve, I will send someone over to get it.... it better NOT be stolen.... Mel its not, gawds sake......... actually Steve is as straight as a pubic hair thats been through the mangle........

So, that is how moto came to live with us........... :) dont know where or what we was gonna do with it, but I thought, well if push comes to shove I can flog it on ebay and probably get about 150 quid for it LOL.........

Ya know, just sometimes, I wonder what it would of been like with daughters instead of 4 sons lol....... so Friday night saw this.........



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Thats Jacobs arm, my Tom sitting and my Sam squatting.... Ben was out... he was as yet to be delighted with our new toy....

This in me kitchen...... amongst the skateboard clobber, the hockey sticks, the cats and even bloody Janet was having a butchers as to what was going on....... Im sure it would of been easier with girls...... ya know shopping and doing our nails and girlie talk..... YEAH BLOODY RIGHT......

This bike did come with a fairing, ya know like the sports bikes, but that was the first thing they took off for extra speed...... it took my Tom about an hour to suss out why it was not working, and all the electrics, its got proper lights and indicaters and a horn and even an alarm.......its well a bloody posh one :)........

So it saw Saturday afternoon before it could be tested out proper..... cos Tom and Ben was both at work and wouldnt be in til 1ish......... ITS FREAKIN BRILL....... it goes way fast........ ok well fast for such a tiny bike... it gets up to about 35-40 on the straight out the front of our house......... ok ok, well where else are they suppose to test it out..... :) - they are HIGHLY illegal out on the roads....... unless obviously they are taxed and insured....... but at 30 quid if push comes to shove and the coppers nick them and crush it, then they would of had a few weeks of fun and death defying rides out the front.........

They take it out for only about 15 minutes a time ;) then quickly put it round the back garden...... just incase someone bugger reports them lol

Well well well, me twat neigbbour came out on Tuesday when me lads was out the front...... its real quiet during the day out the front in our road....... but that tosser just happened to come out to see what was going on.........

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This is how me conversation went with this bloke that is SO up his own arse he can polish his own spleen......

Him - oh my, isnt that one of those bikes Ive seen on the telly that the police are confiscating.......

Me - nah, I think you must be mistaken....

Him - no, Im pretty sure they are the same, they are illegal to ride on public roads you know.....especially without a crash helmet

Me - well, if it was illegal, do you really think I would be letting me lads ride it on the public road..... and there is a good reason why no crash helmet...

Him - Yes...

Me - Well I think you might be confused, because we ARE allowed to have this bike, its not what you think it is, its special....

Him - Yeah right....

Me - Can I have a quiet word with you away from me lads....

My Head was working overtime as to what to say to him lol

Him - Are you threatening me....

Me - Moi, nah, this is a serious matter....

Him - OK....

So I walk up the road a wee bit, out of earshot of me lads......

Me - look I didnt wanna say anything infront of me lads, cos it is a very sensitive subject....

Him - So its nicked is it?

Me - Good god no..... but there is something YOU need to know, but you must understand that this is very private and when I tell you, you will be the only person as yet around here that knows.......

Him - (real bloody gagging now for private information) Ok....

Me - Can you keep a secret....

Him - Not if its illegal or serious...

Me - Jebus, you are making this difficult.....please listen, this is hard for me to tell....

Him - Ok...

Me - I have bought this midi moto because we had some bad news about my Jacob.....

Him - oh my..... whats the matter..

Me - He has been diagnosed with being a midget.....

Him - (blank staring embarrassed) a midget? Jacob? (he doesnt know which kid is which lol) ....

Me - Yes, we had to register him officially as a midget, and as all the normal bikes are to big for him to ride, the DVLA (Driving Vehicle License Association) suggested that we buy a midi moto for him, to give him the same chance in life as all the other kids his age.......

Him - Oh my.... (open gobsmacked mouth) a midget? what a real midget?

Me - Yes, I know its a very sensitive subject, and we are just as a family, coming to terms with it..... and trying to treat him the same as all his friends..

Him - Not being insensitive here Mel, but I always thought he had short legs....but you should get him to wear a crash helmet...

Me - thats ok, just dont stare at him if you can possibly help it, he is finding this very difficult.... and cos of his big midget head, we cant find a helmet to fit...

Him - ok.... a midget right? so you have a giant son and a midget.... well I never....

Me - Sorry to have to put this to you, I hope you understand.....

Him - Yes, very sad, Im sorry...

Me - Thanks for your understanding...

Him - ok I have to go now...

Me - ok - but remember, midgets are real people to ya know..

Him - SLAMS HIS FRONT DOOR..

Me - Runs in doors to use the toilet before I piddle me pants.......

This is the gods honest truth of the conversation I had with me neighbour.....

Im giggling as I type this......

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This is Jacob today about an hour ago....note the cycle helmet LOL safety ya see, its all about safety........

Just gotta trust their judgement on speed and how far they push........ and sometimes ya just gotta let boys be boys and deal with the circumstances as and if they happen.......

I have so many bike stories...... maybe another I will tell over the weekend......

Ok enuff Twaddle for any Friday...

x

39 comments:

Refugee said...

Ah, God, Marmy!! You're killing me over here!!! That is freakin' hilarious! You're giving me ideas, you know. We have so much in common: kids, all of their motorized and non-motorized stuff, a twat neighbor...

Kati said...

ROFL Gawds.... the tales you've got to tell!!! Too funny! Glad your boys get to play around with this new toy, at least for a while.... Hope it doesn't get confiscated TOO soon. (That's one reason I'm glad I live in the US, still, the cops don't confiscate things like that just because they're supposedly dangerous. At least in my town, parents still get to let their kids to fun stuff without always being told by officials "that's too dangerous and we've made it illegal". *wry smile* Not that I don't have problems with other aspects of the US (can we say "lawsuit crazy"?!?!?!), but some common sense prevails, sometimes, as yet.

MarmiteToasty said...

~~(((refugee)))~ see told ya I live in a mad house lol.... and Janet our chicken was actually pecking around the kitchen while the lads was trying to fix it lol

And yes, we have loads in common me thinks...... xx

~((kati))~ the coppers dont confiscate them cos they are dangerous lol its cos they are illegal to ride on public roads....... especially underage, with no licence(cos ya underage) and no tax and insurance lol......... bless the coppers they are only doing their jobs LOL tossers :) - if our local village bobbie catches us it might be different, he already calls me and me matie Thelma and louise lol cos I dont wear me seltbelt and he stops us, and last time I said, ok officer lol but ya have to catch us first lol and we shot off..... as he was shouting 'you 2 are like thelma and louise'..

That reminds me of the story a few years back after one of me major knee ops..... but it was more a case of being called Thelma and Disease lol jebus me and me matie Wendy laffed so hard that day........

I need to get me arse over and live in the states me thinks lol....... buy me self a bit of land and a little house, room for me lads and janet and a goat maybe LOL xx

The Fool said...

Bless you, Marmie for letting boys be boys. My parents wouldn't let me have a motorcycle, so a Harley became my Grail Quest. I can remember the thrill of the mini-bikes that a few of the "rich tossers" owned when I was in school...but you know how those kids are...they'd rather taunt you with their better-offedness than let you share in any fun. It takes away from the priveledge of being uppity. You rock as a mom, Marmie. Kudos to you. And have a great weekend!

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Foolie)))~ well, sigh, lots of history here with me and bikes/mopeds etc...me brothers had bikes, I alas only had a little bike......me older lads had bikes until pretty bad accidents when they was 17 etc..... those are other stories lol - hence my sam is NOT having a road bike but I will help him with a car when he passes his test... (which over here is well hard) plus his one hour theory which is on 1 May - I gave him the gift of driving lessons for his 17 birthday back in nov, and its cost me $800 for his lessons...and is still having a top up lesson costing me $40 a week lol - I AINT MADE OF FUCKING MONEY YA KNOW.. its so different and difficult over here for kids to learn to drive unless they have mega well off parents, but part of sams things was to forego having a bike in favour of driving lessons..... then I will have all that heartache like with the others lol..well thats if he gets a job and saves the $2400 for a years insurance, I told him he has to get a job to pay for the insurance and I will get him his first little run around... sorry waffling here......so many stories in me head LOL - Im suppose to be phasing twaddle out for gawds sake.....

Anyways Jacob at 13 is SO not my law allowed to ride a bike with an engine on public roads lol and I MESELF would get in the poo if he is nabbed lol...... I will plead ingorance and say 'the little sneak must of taken it out the shed without me knowing' :)- but I like me lads to be lads..... ya gotta enjoy ya growing up years, adulthood and responsibilities come around all to soon - sorry waffle waffle waffle......hugs xxxxxxxxxxx sigh

The Fool said...

"ya gotta enjoy ya growing up years, adulthood and responsibilities come around all to soon"

...so true...so true...and insurance is a real killer over here. One week after my eldest got his license he stuck the car in a tree (he ran off a steep embankment and literally stuck it in/on a tree - the top of a large spruce tree went right through the floorboards. It was an amazing trick.). And the parents have to be part of the act...young drivers must be a joint venture in the insurance game. Grrrr.

Peanut said...

OMG!!!!!!!!

You are so funny!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Foolie))~ kids aye lol...... my second son Tom 6 days after passing his test ditched his car, up the top lane, it was just gone midnight when I got a call from the police to say he had been taken to hospital and could I go and sort out about having the tow lorry out...... he was ok though after a short spell in hospital lol and I like a loon paid for his car to me mended....... and then a few months after that I got another call from the police to say that he had ditched his car at FurzelyCorner, which is a well sharp unlit bend (inexperienced drivers lol) the police couldnt understand how he walked from this crash...wasnt gonna pay $400 for a tow lorry again, so the police stayed with the car while I drove to me maties farm and knocked Jem up lol by then it was about 1.30 n the morning, he came with his tractor and pulled it out of the ditch and towed it home for me.... so it then was up to him to sort out another car, I felt I had done my part........ so his girlfriends mum said he could drive her second hubbys car......his girlfriends stepdads, the only thing the stepdad didnt know about it, and yes he ditched it LMFAO........ jebus that cost him $1400 in repairs........ BUT each time I asked the copper if he had been drinking...... cos Toms knows if he drinks and drives and I find out, I will put a hammer through his car, no matter what age he is....... but each time the copper that breathalsied him said nope, not even one drink, so it was just lack of experience on our back lanes....... since then touch wood, no crashes.......

Hope your lad was ok with his experience....well cool to crash ya car in a tree lol..... I have had so many heart stopping scares with my lads, since Ive been on me own with them...... thats the hard bit sometimes, not having anyone to share the fear with...... oh well..... me matie says how do you sleep when ya lads are out late etc, and I say, well its no use worring like I use to, to begin with, cos its senseless, I will deal with whatever comes up if and when.....hark at me waffling again - sorry ((Foolie))x

~((((Peanut))))~ will you shut up LMFAO........ it aint suppose to be funny ya know............ xxxxxxxx

Refugee said...

"...and Janet our chicken was actually pecking around the kitchen while the lads was trying to fix it lol"

I would SO love to see that. It sounds like there is a lot of fun for your boys at home. They won't forget it, Marmie. You're fabulous!!

E. H. said...

Fool...now you tell me.

E. H. said...

Er, pardon me, but where is Janet's egg count? Have you done something to her?

JBelle said...

It's nice to have a neighbor with whom you can share confidences. :)You tell those boys to zoom it up and down the street for me this weekend. And tell the short one that I do like him.

B.R.M said...

Dear newest friend,

I have laughed and laughed!

This Southern gal (by the way of Tennessee - north of the city of Elvis and BBQ) is pleased to meet you. And I look forward to sharing more cups of tea with you.

TN Becky

OrdinaryShark said...

Marm, I am appalled at Peanut. How heartless, making fun of a registered midget. I think an immediate banning is in order.
I couldn't stop laughing through that whole thing.
If I see any more references to you stopping your blob, I will have to come over there (when all those strapping lads are out) and chain you to your keyboard. I will not put up with a withdrawl of some of the best and funniest writing I see everyday. Consistently.
Girlface has just about finished her driving course. The weather has been conspiring to keep her from doing her last 2 hour drive to get her permit. Both she and Weaselboy prefer to ride their bikes (bicycle) of course so I haven't yet had any accidents. WB is very good about driving well, thank god.
You've obviously been throught the ringer on accidents so I won't give me helmet speech, especally since that last pic shows at least some sort of protection.

MarmiteToasty said...

Knackered or WHAT!!!!

Its a little before 2am here, and Ive just got in from picking my Sam up and his band from the train station that is about 25 minutes drive from here, he has been in London all day and then went to a gig to see LAGWAGON this evening...... ok, ok, 5 in his band and it was ME the only single parent that would go and pick them up...... something aint right here lol and they dont all live in this village so Ive been here, there and everywhere....... but at least I know me lad got home safe.....

~((Refugee))~ well it aint all plain sailing ya know :) we do have our moments lol...... just hope Ive built enough wonderful memories to last them a lifetime...... xx

~((((JBelle)))~ I hope ya got me emails......fanks matie, so very much........ and I tell me lads all about Auntie JBelle :).... we have such a handsome bunch between us right? :) xxxxxx

~brm~ hey :) - welcome to the nut house lol........ have a scroll back and have a right proper butchers :) - and put the bloody kettle on, Im gasping for a cuppa :)...

~(((((Shark))))~ Moi ban Peanut? nah lol she use to live but an hour from me, even though she speaks with a funny twang now LOL......she is always taking the piss out of me...... :)

Ya know, me posts aint suppose to be funny lol ...... but I paniced with me neighbour and thought sure he is the sort of bloke to report us... so I had to think fast on me feet...... when I asked for a quiet word, I had no idea what I was gonna say to him LOL.......and hopefully by the time he has sussed out that Jacob aint really a midget, we will be moved on to a newer toy lol

And ya know, Twaddle was only suppose to be for a month and its almost 2 months now..... so its alredy on overtime :)

Good for your girl and her driving, its so different over here, its not about just getting in so many hours...... it does help if ones parents take ya out in their car for extra help, but to put Sam on my insurance to drive me Toyota Previa is mental money..... so he has to make do with his 2 hour lesson a week and not his 1 hour top up until his test, but first he has to sit an hours theory test, ya have to pass that first before ya hour driving test..... we fink nippers over there have it well easy lol AND ya cant have driving lessons here until ya 17..... my Tom didnt have them until he was 19 and my Ben dont drive cos he was banned for driving his little mopedie thing on the pavement whilst overtaking a policecar LOL........ boys aye ;)

And, yes, thats the key, in so many things in life ;) always use protection LOL

Anyways, its now just gone 2am... everyone is safely home and its time I crawled under me duvet........ special love and hugs to Wendy on this sad day......

Shark, get the lights will ya? and I'd like a mug of tea and me marmitetoasty for breakie ;) - nite maties - fanks for stopping by....

x

MarmiteToasty said...

oops ~eh~ who are ya? lol and how do you know about Janet?

Janet - Eggs 29 :) she has only missed 3 days since she started laying....... :)

OrdinaryShark said...

OK Marmy, I've got the lights. Even at 2AM you're making me laugh, the best medicine after all. I love the image of Ben overtaking a copper on the moped, but really, that's hardly a hanging crime. Weaselboy has a scooter all done up mod style in the barn. Ahhh, that barn is full of stories.
I know, I know, I twaddle on like an entire old ladies sewing circle.
Lemmie check the cat and then I'm otta here.

JBelle said...

Mel, sweetie? I absolutely Love the hand. the wave. makes me feel special.

ciara said...

marmy....the bitch is back from hawaii! lol man, i wish i coulda been there to see ya tellin the neighbor that one, but then i prob woulda given it away that u were messin cuz i would not be able to contain my laughter. see lots of those mini bike things around here, but not on the road of course. my brother had what they called a mini bike in the 70's and i remember dad trying to teach me how to ride it. i was getting ready to get on it, but didn't realize that i had turned the gas handle all the way back. before i could even get back on it, the bike and i were doing a dance. it on its back wheel and me still holding on to the bleedin gas handle. big dummy that i was had still had it all the way back, and my dad was trying to get the bike from me cuz i was screamin like a little biotch (ok, and maybe i was crying like one, too lol)

E. H. said...

Ah, Mtoast, you sussed me out. E.H. is short for Patrick McManus'
Experienced Hunter as opposed to a Beginning Hunter (BH). I decided after writing Fair Chase that I had been the other long enough, 55 years, so I switched. Matt says he is the EH and I am the BH but, as I explained to him, that is why it is the otherway around...he thinks he knows whereas I know I don't know. Thus I am the experienced one. Oh, with due respect, with the chicken gone I don't have anything to shoot at! Went to the N.I. Sports Banquet tonight and Matt's football team (12-0) won team of the year. Mark Rypien, former Super Bowl MVP was the guest speaker. He said that the team was one of the top 5 in the U.S. I don't know about top 5 but probably top 15.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Shark)))~ well its a hanging offence if ya insurance and tax has run out making ya license invalid lol........ they slammed him hard as an example....it might of been where when they eventually caught him he asked them if they didnt have robbers and murderers to catch instead of someone on their way to work to earn an honest crust... 2 1/2 year ban AND points on his licence, making it almost impossible to now afford insurance on a vehicle cos with a ban and points his insurance will be almost double........ (long story which I aint going into here) but when he had to move back home cos of circumstances beyond his control, I paid half towards a scrambler bike for him to get him on his feet and keep his sanity, it was a great little motorbike, and he left it out the front one night NOT chained or covered instead of putting it round the back, and some pikie bastards nicked it during the night...... he dont have much luck that boy lol...

AND I LOVE your twaddle, you dont realise just how much you make me smile..... sewing circle my arse, I would of thought you would be more suited to the befriend a woodlice circle ;)... HAPPY SUNDAY Shark xx

~(((JBelle)))~ me hand (which is my hand btw) is there for anyone to hold it that needs it...... its my only form of touch on here :).... see, what with yesterday I just wanna touch.... so its my hand to you and me maties......xxxxxxxxxx

~((Ciara)))~ well lookie here, the bitch is back :) sporting a suntan LMFAO.......hope you had an amazing time...... I NEED a holiday..... lol@your story...... god the stories of bikes etc in me head are now buzzing around with everything else :)..... to funny xxxx

~(((Starr))~ can I just say I much prefer Starr to EH.... :).... talking to an initial is sooooooo not right, ya loon...... oh and me chicken will be back, its just Im in this sober sorta under par mood what with yesterday, actually the whole week....... so its my outstretched hand to anyone that wants it....... xxxxxxxx oh and :) the magazine came yesterday, omg what a wonderful read...... and the article about you in there was just so funny..... so fanks for that :) x

SHARK - WHERES ME CUPPA TEA? gawds sake...... I had me lay-in but Im gagging for a cuppa...xxxxx

Scots said...

there's always one grumpy old twat ready to spoil the fun - but you handled him well Marmite .. I loved it ... midget hahahaha - and the thick prat bought it too :o)

E. H. said...

Okay, Mtoast, just so I understand...you think an article about me getting severely injured, having to be carried out of a wilderness area, on a stretcher, through downed trees, thick brush, up and over steep ravines, with no pain meds, and then cranked up a 100 foot rock cliff on a fire hose, is funny? Someday I will tell you about how I almost drowned when a sudden storm overturned the boat, while duck hunting. That will probably send you into convulsions of laughter. LOL.

MarmiteToasty said...

~scott~ :) hehehe yeah he is a few bob short of a fiver lol....... x

~(((Starr)))~ well hehehehe I didnt mean it in a nasty way, but the article was still well funny.......... and ya survived didnt ya? LOL - now did I tell you about the time they had to get the air/sea rescue out to me off of Cornwall where I almost drown, whilst everyone sitting on the cliffs thought I was just waving at them in the rough sea and not actuallly signalling that I was drowning or the time I fell and knocked meself out in The NewForest at midnightish whilst on a school night hunt and wasnt found for 2 hours LOL......... :) I could of got a nasty nip from some little earwig or something ya know......

Seriously though..... I found the article fasinating...... and the way that blokie wrote it WAS funny....... :) xx

Side Note said...

You should get that midget son of yours into wrestling. Midget wrestling is quite popular over here.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((SideNote))~ *cough* he aint no real midget ya know lol...... it was just to get me twat neighbour off me back........ but on saying that I aint got no problem with chopping his legs off at the knees and his arms at his elbows and shoving him in the ring, I mean, somone has to think about dosh in me old age......... seeing as how I'll probably still me on me own LOL...... see always me business had ;) xx

MarmiteToasty said...

had is short talk for head ;) x

green libertarian said...

Always a pleasure reading here, Marmite, laughing and crying... I so love how you handled that nosy narc neighbor... and no helmet on Jaccob on account of his giant midget head....ROFLAO!

When I was about Jacob's age, my neighbor helped us build mini-bikes, we'd pick up the frames and engines at the swapmeets, and fix em all up, and then sell, well that was the plan we never sold any, just had fun riding them. Very simple machines, lawn mower engine, centrifigul clutch, chain drive, lever brake that simply rubbed on the back wheel, grip throttle. Dangerous as all hell, would go about 30mph, yeah and totally illegal. I loved riding mine so much, I put a bicyle headlight and tailight on it so I could ride at night, and convinced my parents, oh yeah, that's safe.

Soon enough Honda came out with their commercial version, the Mini-Trail, but it had gears and real brakes, and shocks and such, only one rich kid I knew had one of those.

The coolest thing we ever bought tho, was an old 50's Cushman scooter, now that thing went fast, was big, and was lots of fun, altho its kick starter would kick back sometimes, it almost broke my ankle one time, I could hardly walk for a couple of days, and had to fake it in front of my parents, who were becoming increasingly worried about our minibike and scooter madness.

Slightly off topic, but since your boys are into music, thought they might know of this doodle band that's playing in Portsmouth at the Wedgewood Rooms, (sold out) this thursday, Cold War Kids, I really like these boys, again, wonder if your boys have heard of them?

Cold War Kids Hang Me Out To Dry Video

Like the hand too, yah, I know, I know, Marmite.

eddie said...

oh i have not laughed so hard in a while, thinks

Mr. Fabulous said...

Man...how much do we love you? LOL

Why do we always see pics of the boys but never of you?

E. H. said...

Puzzled I remain. Pro school uniforms...yet readily willing to flaunt authoritah by riding a small bike on a road. I can't see the line of thought. I would aplaud a student who went to a public (not a private one where you agree to such nonsense) "uniform school" wearing a t-shirt and worn out jeans. Likewise I applaud the small bike. But I think one would have to say okay to both, not just one.

OrdinaryShark said...

Hey Mr. Fab- Didn't you see the picture of Mtoasty in the shopping trolly a few posts back? ;-)

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Green)))~ oh hush with the laffing and tears, gawds sake.......

and you had well cool parents.....you was one lucky lucky kid green :) - you had mini motos and I just had the 'chase the cripple' game...... dont seem fair somehow ;)....

ps...... Ive just asked Sam about Cold War Kids and he said NO lol...... Sams played at the Wedge and thats where I went and saw Tedding Thompson..... oh my, now that is a funny story lol xx

~((Eddie))~ oh, oh, thats it, take the piss out of me life LMFAO........ :) laffing is good for the soul...... xx

~(((MrFab)))~ oh shut up will ya, I aint no lovable type lol...... actually thats a lie...... I thought I had pulled with this bloke in the village, he has kept winking at me for weeks and weeks, I thought, blimey I think he loves me...... it only turns out he is the village idiot and it aint no wink its a retarded twitch he has had since a child...... THERE GOES ME ONLY CHANCE of getting married again :) lol

Oh, and, Im to scarey for pictures LOL...... least Janet loves me..... xxx

~((Starr))~ What can I say, Im still a firm believer in school uniforms :) but that dont make me any less of a rebel, I never run with the crowd.... ok ok well some might read that as Im a mental nutcase, but does it look like Im bovvered.....hey I even wore a pair of union jack(british flag) knickers under me wedding dress first time round LOL....... now thats a rebel LMFAO xx

~((((Shark))))~ ROTFLMRSSO!!!!!!!!! OH yep thats sooooooooo me LMFAO....... jebus I love you LOL xx

MarmiteToasty said...

I cant say where or to whom BUT..... Ive just had to post this post........ I have an urge to share it.....cos you lot aint right sometimes...... lol

Gumbyland....
SAY NO TO CHOPPING BOYS BITS OFF, THAT IS ALMOST UNHEARD OF OVER HERE........ ... JEBUS....... .. there aint nowt better as a woman when older to have the pleasure of unpeeling that ripe bananna, and playing peek-a-boo LMFAO....... and ya CANT do that if ya have chopped the peel off when little...... .

GAWDS SAKE :)

x

raymond pert said...

That little birdie was chirpin' the right tune. I'm over here at your pub everyday lookin' for wisdom and gettin' a good laugh. You always come through with Union Jack colors.

btw, talked to PM Blair today...I have a direct line...he never listens...but don't be surprised if Scotland Yard send a dick or two your way to survey the crime tearing around your street rampant on a blazin' two wheeler!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((MrP))~ cripes I bow in your honour Sir :) - well chufted LMFAO...... sorry about the grammar and the aweful spelling and the and and and..... but if I typed it well proper then I would struggle and it would not just flow off me fingers.......

*cough* and ya never tell a lady ya sending her a couple of 'dicks' ROTF!!!!!!!!

I so didnt realise until I was told today, that I had the honour of you reading me blob :) - it aint much - the blob I mean - but its just what it says on the label :) - Twaddle........ and you so didnt ring me matie Tony LOL - fanks for popping over :) - mega chufted or what lol xx

And on that note, I must away to find me blankie and me duvet, cos its 12.30ish and I have to be up at the crack of dawn for work, me one week of lay-ins and getting knocked up by the postie is over.......

nite maties, fanks for stopping by........

SHARK - ya know the rules ;) xx

OrdinaryShark said...

"getting knocked up by the postie"
I know what that means over here Marmy and I think it's against the union rules.

I'll turn out the lights but I'm not sure about it; this place looks like Yazger's field after the concert. Ya' sure you ain't got a night light here? Maybe Green can get a LED one that won't use much power. Hey I think that's ..... moving ..... What IS that?
OK, I'm definitly outta here. I'll set up a pot for the tea but you're on your own for the rest.

raymond pert said...

Concerned call from Scotland Yard:

Is two dicks insufficient for a lady? Is that what yer sayin'? We can send more down...we'll stuff ya with protection...

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Shark))~ :) NOT that knocked up LMFAO..... x

~((MrP))~ Well its been so long Im suffering from 'heal over' lol .... but still, I think 2 dicks would be way to much to handle LOL...... ;) - trying to think how many people I know called Richard *S*....... x