Wednesday, 13 June 2007

In Honour Of My Jacob's 14th Birthday........

Ok........... I wanted to post this on Sunday but was unable to, what with birthday celibrations and stuff..... so today, its better late then never........

Ya see, on the 10 June 1993 the most precious child came into my life, not that my other 3 sons are not precious, but this child, this Jacob Ethan Harry W~~~~~s, had a glow about him from the minute he was born...... and it has stayed with him all these years, I know you will not understand what Im waffling about, but I do, and everyone that meets Jacob says the same.....

10 June 1993, in the very early hours of the morning, I knew our child was on his way, a fortnight late, I knew he was waiting those extra hours, so that he was NOT born on his fathers birthday which is 9 June..... Jacob even back then must of had a vibe LOL - so I dropped our other 3 sons off at maties houses and my now X drove to the hospital and dropped me off with words of.... 'I have to get to work, call me if you need me'....... just about says it all right lol

Well he just about made it back in time to see Jacob born..... he weighed 10 lb exactly and he was 2 foot long when he was born...... he was the biggest of all my 4 sons..... yet as he grew he became the smallest lol..... he was always tiny compared to his friends and he was nicknamed 'MIM' by his brothers..... meaning 'minimum' the smallest lol

I bought him home when he was about 6 hours old....... my X picked us up, picked our other 3 sons up from me maties and dropped us all off home, and went back to work..... he worked for his father and it was their busy season LMFAO....... I could say so much but I wont....... but I knew then that things would never be the same again...... me and my 4 sons stood on the front door step and watched him just drive back to work, not even a cuppa tea was made LOL........ such was life.....

He looked so much like Jasper Carrot when he was a few months old, and he was a fairly funny looking baby..... but he grew into the most gorgeous looking lad...

jacob 9

Here he is LOL aint he funny looking and the spitting image of Jasper Carrot LOL

We was such a good baby and toddler..... amazingly so....

He had the same shirley temple curls like me and my Sam had, until he was 3 and they were cut and never returned......

<jacob 6 naval cadets

This is an old photo of all 4 of me lads when Ben(left) and Tom(right) were in the Naval Cadets FieldGun Crew.... Sam(in the hat) had not long been out of hospital after 8 weeks in traction for smashed legs.... and the navy made Sam and Jacob mascots of the HMS Dryad Crew...... Sam actually got to ride out at the shows and at Earls Court in London on the back of the gun lol....... you can see Jacobs curls in this picture....... see his cute uniform LMFAO...

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jacob 1
Jacob loved the sea from very tiny...

He was one of the younger ones to start proper school, he was barely 4 when I dressed him in his school uniform and packed him off to school...... some of the kids in his class were 11 months older...... and he did struggle a little with his work.....

This Child, has the most amazing gift in life......... he has the gift of compassion to others and empathy and has the most amazing thoughts about injustice and when there have been disagreements he has been the one that has thought rationally and has come up with other ideas how to solve problems, be it his maties falling out or little things at home......

When his father left, I would wake in the night and find him snuggled up in my bed...... I would find little notes left in the fridge and in cupboards..... little notes that just read ' I LOVE you ' .....which I have kept to this day...

He is such a joy to be around, everyone says the same....... there is something about him that brings calm and peace and when I look at this child my heart overflows and it can often bring me to tears, just with the pure pure love that I have for this child.......

He loves animals with a passion and can calm down even the wildest dog, animals will come to him and sit on his lap and they just 'know' that he wont hurt them..... on saying that he also loves feeding live creatures to his scorpion lol......

He loves to climb, and has since he was a tot........ and if you ask him what he wants to do when he has left school, he will say...... I want to go to Sparshot College and train to be a 'tree surgeon'...... I dont wanna work inside a building, I wanna work outside, doing things with my hands, I would love to work for the Forestry Commission...... or, he says, he would love a job with animals......

He has soooooo many friends, both girls and boys and is very well loved by everyone........ he has this gift.........

He is a protector of hearts and souls.....and he is VERY protective towards me... he will fight tooth and nail to help anyone that needs a hand, or a kind word....... he will talk things through if there is a problem....... he is not a fighter he is a talker and can, amongst his friends always defuse arguements with his thought provoking words...... he is a problem solver....... he listens to what people say and he spins it around in his head, and he comes up with suggestions........ from a young age he has thrown out suggestions to friends in disagreements........ suggestions meaning, he doesnt tell them how to solve their problems, but he gives them pointers to solve them themselves........ and for a child to do that ....... I think....... is a gift......

jacob 4

Jacob at 4 years old....

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Jacob at 12 years old....

He likes sports and music, but nothing has ever grabbed him like his brothers, they are all musical etc........ he tried cricket and did well, but he knew it was not his passion, as he did football, rugby and Tchoukball..... he wasnt interested in playing any musical instrument...... and then just over a year ago HE FOUND HIS PASSION......... he joined a trampoline club at Havant Leisure centre, mainly cos, we have had a big oblong trampoline in the garden for over 18 years..... and I caught him jumping off the top of the shed onto the trampoline and doing a somersault over the neighbours fence LOL so I thought I would channel that into a club...... he had only been there a few months when I was called in, and told that Jacob is doing moves and turns that he shouldnt even have in his head and they would like to send him to be accessed by trained coaches....... we went last august to Southampton where they have an olympic training squad for up and coming nippers........ and he was taken under their wing........ so since August last year we have been doing this 5 hours round trip to this other club every monday evening after all the minded kids have gone..... they have talked about 2012 olympics and he has outshone all expectations.......... EXCEPT........ he told me a few weeks ago that he really doesnt wish to go into all the competitions for the next few years..... he just wants to do his trampolining as fun, and he said he doesnt enjoy the competitions........ so this term we are having a break from the squad and he is just going to the club at Havant where it all started, they have told me that he has inspired so many others, that they hope he never stops going there........ as far as the squad goes, well, the choice is his........ I would never force him to do something he didnt want to......... he knows what he wants out of life..... so hopes of him being in the olympics are on hold......... his choice........ no matter what he chooses to do with his trampolining, I will go with him on his choice.......

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This is Jacob prepping for a somersault...

Everynight as this child, young man, goes to bed, he says....... nite mum..... and when he gets to the second flight of stairs up to his little bedroom in the attic, he will shout down....... I love you mum..... and every night as I reply, I have tears in my eyes...... I dont ever want that to end.... ever..... but I know that oneday it will.....

Jacob is amazing with my minded kids...... they have always been apart of his life since he was born lol...... me minded kids were back the day after he was born lol......

He loves camping and scouts and bonfires.......

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He loves rack of ribs and when we have been out for dinner that is what he always chooses lol

jacob eating ribs at the smith and western

This is him a couple of years ago with his ribs at this 'american themed' eating place called The Smith And Western' in Chichester....

Over this last year he has grown over a foot in height, he now towers over all the friends thats a couple of years ago he was just a midget......

So Sunday was his birthday....... he had the bike that I posted about all those months back....... and he loved it......

http://marmitetoasty.blogspot.com/2007/03/sometimes-i-worry-about-my-sanity.html

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when I asked him what he would like to do to celibrate his birthday this year (last year we went paintballing), he said he would like to go ice skating and then have his maties back for a BBQ...... so that is what we did.........

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I know this is a little dark, its Jacob in the middle with just a handful of his maties that we took ice-skating, see how tall he is now compared to everyone else LOL.....

This child has grown from a beautiful caring lad to the most amazing loving, wonderful young man of 14....... he only has me and his brothers as family........ god knows what he would have been like with a father in his life, or a father figure...... I know he would of LOVED to of had a 'dad figure' around, there is only so much I can do........ I aint a dad, I aint even a substitute for a dad.......

On Sunday when I watched my son with his friends, and watched him laff and joke around and watched how he was with people, I so wanted someone to be standing next to me, to be holding my hand, to understand and watch him with the same eyes, with the same proud heart, with the soul that I have...... I so wanted someone to share this precious boy....... I so wanted someone else to love him the way I do...... and feel inside how proud I am of whom Jacob has and is becoming..........

He never asks for things....... but he asked if I would make him the gooey sickly double chocolate cake with strawberries and melted chocolate with sweets sprinkled on top, as his birthday cake lol....... its healthy right lol well it does have strawberries on it....

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Here is the cake LOL.....

And, he was holding a girls hand whilst ice skating........ he can bloody well stop that lol....... ;)

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As he blew out the candles, and he made his wishes, I made my own wishes and my dreams for this boy....... I hope they come true....

Jacob, I love you, and honour your bithday and the day your were given to me,with all I have....I honour the wonderful person you are and the wonderful man you will become, I just wish I could give you the world, instead I just have me to give......

I just hope it has been enough, I just hope it has........

There is so much I want to say, but I will keep it in my heart..... for now....

ok way to much Twaddle, cos no one will fully understand this post........ but I do, and thats all that matters......

x

30 comments:

Mom not Mum said...

Happy Birthday Jacob!! I loved reading about your son - he does sound like a fine young man! You are right to be proud!

Mom not Mum said...

--Oh and he is a looker too. You're going to have to chase the girls off with a broom!

JBelle said...

Happy Birthday! The trampolline is sooooo cool.

fatty said...

i always knew you were an incredible woman.. and it shows with your incredible children..

i think it's fantastic that you are celebrating who he is and who he wants to become and allowing him to be his own person..
i think you have given him the world mel...

what a special guy jacob is!! happy birthday!!

beautiful post... sniff

toadman said...

Happy birthday Jacob. You're lucky to have such a crazy, funny, loving mum. Remember that.

The Fool said...

Good morning! You are blessed M-Toasty. You surely are.

And so are you, Master Jacob. Happy Birthday!

Anoter wonderful post full of life, matie. Thank you for sharing.

raymond pert said...

Of all the things to stand out to me in this gorgeous post: the trampoline stuff. I am so very happy to read that you won't push Jacob to do competitive trampoling if he doesn't want to. Here in the states, it seems to me that talented young boys and girls are often (not always) pressured by parents and coaches to take their athletic talent "all the way" to some "top of the ladder" that is an illusion, imho,and sometimes the joy and playfulness that comes from just playing a sport or enjoying an activity *can* get lost. So, of all the beautiful things you said about you and Jacob, this stood out to me. For some reason, I'm extra sensitive about this subject. Woot! to you MarmiteToasty! : )

Phil said...

A wonderful post about a wonderful kid!

Scots said...

Hi Marm babes ..

This was a moving bit of "twaddle". I can tell the love for yer lad and all your family and friends is immense - we need more people like you in this crazy world - we'd be a lot better off!

This is one lucky lad to have a mum like yourself!

More than once you brought a tear to the eye - an believe me .. that is no easy task when it come to me LOL

Happy Birthday Marmites lad .... I am a bit jealous of the cake btw .. looks bloody gorgeous!

Akelamalu said...

What a wonderful tribute to your lovely son. I have to say all your boys are lovely in the picture you showed.
As for him telling you he loves you ending - my youngest son is 31 and he still tells me and his dad he loves us and kisses us in public. It's all to do with how you bring them up, so I don't think you've any worries on that score.

Happy Birthday Jacob.

the psycho therapist said...

Marmy, this is one of the most beautiful and loving tributes I have ever read. Your Jacob is a life blessing as are you to him. I know if I asked him if he felt you were "enough" there wouldn't be as much as a pause in his affirmative reply.

Happy belated birthday to Jacob, from one super Gemini to another. (wink)

--

PS If I must incarnate again, I'd want you, Jbelle or Peanut to be my mother. You three are *the* most wonderful parents.

--

Lora said...

Happy Bday Jacob !!! Enjoyable reading Mel ! It's a pleasure to be a part of your family

Jennifer said...

Ok, getting a kleenex to finish sobbing. That was a beautiful tribute to you and your family! I look at my eldest that is 13 at the moment and can see so many similarities like the compassion, problem solving, etc...it truly is a gift and something people don't have anymore, truly exempliary. As for the athletic part of your son, no comparison. He's amazing! Mine doesn't have an athletic bone in his body...LOL, although he does enjoy Sea Cadets too, that's what we have in Canada.
He does seem like a remarkable young man! Happy Birthday Jacob!

Lynn said...

Aw, Mel. That is a fine boy you've got there. He's very lucky to have you for a mother, too. I know what you mean when you express the wish of a father in his life, but you never know for sure... He might be better off having things just as they are. I wish now that I had NOT wished for a father for my boy. Sometimes that kind of wishing can make a lady rush decisions that are better waited out.

In any case, Mel, he is certainly a fine boy.

stacy said...

Popped in from Dr. John's where you are the link of the day. What a lovely tribute to your son. I had to go fetch a tissue before I was done reading, but then my daughter is just about to turn 15 and it seems all the growing up is getting to me.

Margaret said...

He's was such a darling, and now a handsome young man. You're really going to be sweeping the girlies off your front porch step soon, if you haven't been doing so already.

That was sweet, thanks for sharing.

-Margie
(I was sent here by a once had been handsome young fellow who's now still handsome, in an antique furniture handsome kind of way.)

Ol' Lady said...

AAAwwwww that was just so...nice. I always thought those kind of feelings were just in the movies...sniff, sniff, blow nose...
In our house the girls were/are happyjust to have made it to another birthday alive :o
The world needs more moms like you :)

ciara said...

((((mel slagger bagger slapper tart)))) i can tell that jacob, as well as the rest of your lads, are just fabulous. you've done a great job raising them by yourself, and don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. you know, my son didn't have his father in his life...he said to me that he was glad that i was the one who raised him. i'm sure your boys feel the same. happy birthday, jacob. xoxoxo

p.s. my bro's bday was the 10th also, but i don't talk to him cuz he's a right arse lol yesterday was my son's bday, but i didn't post as many pics or have as wonderful of a post as you lol

MarmiteToasty said...

GOOD GRIEF....... I so didnt expect anyone to be commenting on this post..... blimey.....

~(((momNmum)))~ yeah, he is a wonderful lad, and Im having to brush the girls off already lol.... he is the youngest of 4 sons, so he has had a lot of teaching about girls from his brothers lol..... xx

~((((((((((JBelle))))))))~ :) yeah, he is pretty impressive, but he has the choice as where he wants it to lead..... xxxx

~(((fatty))))~ you need to stop with the nice words, cos you will have me in tears lol fanks......xxx sniff

~(((Toadie)))~ ya see, I think Im the lucky one to have this boy in my life :).... xxxx

~((((((Foolie)))))))~ yep, surely blessed.... and I can only type from me heart.... its raw and well rough but thats me LOL ......xxxxxx

~((((((((MrP)))))))))) well, I like to give/have given all me lads as many opportunities in life that has been emotionally and financially possible.... so they have had a chance to try and find something that has grabbed them by their short and curlies and find there passion....... and your right, so many push push push, and many parents at the squad trampoline club were the same..... I would look at Jacob and he would look at me and we would just burst out laffing at some of the loonie parents lol....... xxxx

~((((phil)))~ fanks matie, coming from you I feel quite honoured :) .... xx

~(((scottie))))~ oh hush will ya lol..... Im just me.....and shut up with the tears you so didnt lol..... aint that cake just the sickliest cake ever, but with a whole slab of galaxy chocolate melted on it, it was heaven gone wild lol......xxxx

~((((ake))))~ :) all me lads are very loving, especially when they want something lol..... hope it never ends.... I know now me lads are almost grown that life is a changing.... and Im becoming redundant :( lol......xxx

~(((((((((((Wendy))))))))))))~ sniff... now you have me in tears this morning.... I can only talk and type from me heart, and I think you know me well enough by now to know thats true :)......xxxxxx

~((((((lora))))))))) and I do consider you a part of me family :)....xxxx

~(((((jennifer))))~ oh stop with the klennex lol - blimey, I must be well old, theres me with me youngest just turned 14 and your oldest is only 13 lol..... whats it like hanging around with old people lol..... xxxx

~(((((Lyn))))~ nah I wouldnt of rushed, my mission after me divorce was to raise me lads to the best of my ability..... and obviously with the 4 of them it took up a lot of time :).... so many of me maties have had blokes in and out of their kids lives that they are well confused.... but still, just sometimes like fishing and shit like that which I hate... it would of been nice lol..... its nice now that me older lads can do the fishing malarkie ...... one day my prince will come lol....... :) xxxxxxxx

~(((stacy))))~ welcome and please scroll back and read a little :) especially about cowie lol - I had NO idea that a Dr Johns even read me blob, let alone made me a link of the day lol...... fanks for popping over, I hope you return.... xx

~(((margaret)))~ yeah he sure is turning out to be a gorgeous looking lad, as are his brothers..... I so dont know how that has happened with me as his mother lol.... fanks for popping over...... antique furniture bloke, oh he must be a rare piece of chippendal :)...xx

~(((((ol' lady)))))~ oh hush, make the most of me sensitive side showing lol...... movies my arse ;).....xxxxx

~(((((((ciara $20 slapper on north street))))~ ok ok stop with that, you will make me cry...... Ive just tried me best, and many a times Ive got it wrong, but I have given it my all..... I aint got no manual book..... fanks maties *sniff

its ok, my brothers are arseholes to lol... actually they have one each :)....

Happy Birthday to your lad :)....

xxxxxxx

The Woman said...

What a handsome young man he is! Happy Birthday, Jacob!

Your post was lovely...

Sending HUGS.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((the woman))))~ fanks, he is rather handsome lol...... :)

xx

Queenie said...

Happy birthday Jacob, gosh this was a fantastic post.
Seems a few of us had our babys in June, Ciara,you me. Pop over on the 21st,Ive done a bit of a thing, not a patch on yours.
Now your hot stuff, been offered loads that I have been told are the same, I have told them that it has to be the same, search continues...

susan said...

This was a very sweet post with such great pictures of life, of good life. Happy Late Birthday, Jacob.

green libertarian said...

Powerfully emotional, funny, endearing, tear-making, in a word, wonderful. You never dissapoint me, Marmite, with the incredible love in your posts like this. Jacob is blessed. You are blessed.

What is that T-Shirt he's wearing, energy something or other?
xo

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((queenie)))~ shucks lol.... everyones comments have made me very tearful lol...... fanks...xxx

~((((susan)))))~ sweet = soppy right? LOL ....xxxxxx

~((((MrGreen)))))~ my fingers just type whats in me heart, no more no less.....

oh and the T-shirt.... says... 'Save Energy, Stay in Bed' LOL

love ya (((chuck)))....xxxx

cookieboy said...

Happy Birthday Jacob! Your mom's obviously very proud of you! What a GREAT post Mel!

Pinehurst in my Dreams said...

Okay, loved the post and felt the same way as everyone else about your son and the beautiful relationship you have. . .but. . .no one asked for the cake recipe. That has got to be the most beautiful cake I have ever seen. . .Can I have the recipe?

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((((cookieboy))))))~ as proud as punch I be :).........xxxxxx

~((((pinehurst in me dreams))))~ WELCOME :)..... ok.....

Bake a double chocolate cake, I make 2 cakes in 2 loaf tins and put them side by side to make one big square make :) - double chocolate means a choc cake with bits of chocolate in the mix as well as the actual choc cake :)...

shopping list for the rest....

A HUGE bar of decent milk chocolate, like galaxy, NOT that Hershie rubbish, yuk...

A smaller bar of decent white chocolate...

A packet of Malteasers (malt balls)..

A packet of Aero minty balls...

A packet of white chocolate buttons....

A tube of smarties...

a Packet of white malteasers and anything else that is self indulgent and scrummie :)......

And a punnet of fresh strawberries.....

Place the cakes side by side to make on square cake....

Melt the HUGE bar of milk chocolate and Ooooooze all over the top of the cake..... before it sets, halve the strawberries and stick in the melted chocolate, whilst licking out the melted choc bowl and stuffing strawberries into ones mouth...

From a great height drop the mixed sweeties onto the cake and watch them get stuck in the chocolate, throwing them across the kitchen as target practise is great fun..... and of course eating all the ones that fall off the cake or those that miss the target...

melt the white chocolate and drizzle over the rest of the very healthy (cos of the strawberries) cake..... while eating the extra packet of malteasers that one bought as a stand by......

lick the bowl of the white melted chocolate, whilst shoving a few candles into the gooey mess, place in the fridge to harden for 15 minutes.....

scrap the chocolate off the shelves of the fridge where the setting chocolate has ooozes off the side of the cake and dripped off the plate.......

Watch as all birthday party goers eat the cake within 5 minutes..... and be proud that one remembered to cut a slice off and hide before presenting to the crowds :)..... enjoy..... xxxxxxxx

jolie-jordan said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A WONDERFUL BOY...
and how lucky to have you for his Mom. How lucky to have someone to love him the way you do. I love how you parent. So loving and wise.

Looks like it was a great fun party.
I bet the paintballing was fun too.
Great post not twaddle at all.
xxxJOlie

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((jolie-jordan)))~ fanks matie :)..... he is easy to love though :).... I dont know about 'wise'.... I can only parent what comes from me soul, I dont always get it corret though lol...xx