Sunday, 1 July 2007

Just A Quickie For A Sunday Night.......

Ok......... I dont know if anyone remembers when I got me bird table and the stories back in March....... if ya wanna bovver with reading it then its here ....

At first we didnt get no birds for weeks and weeks, they would just circle the garden, and then slowly but surely the birdtable has now become quite a hive of activity first thing in the morning and during the day we even get 2 collared doves hanging about...... and the little robin is getting quite tame and is almost eating out of me hand, well until Janet gets jealous and comes huffing and strutting up the garden....

So....... me cat Ambrose is always bringing in little birds she has caught, she is always hunting down mices and frogs and bringing them in the house for me as a pressie...... she loves fresh meat....... but sometimes in that quest for freshness, she has retarded moments and even makes me wonder where she get her bleedin ideas from......

She often falls in me twat neighbours little daft pond whilst trying to hook out his goldfish....

Anyways, on Thursday we actually had a break in the weather and the sun shone between the storm clouds, so I shoved the minded after school nippers into the garden, cos they was well getting on me tits.......

When Zoe and Beth come running into the kitchen shouting, Ambrose is being stupid and they was giggling and laffing.......quick Mel quick, come and see.......

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This is some of me afterschool mob on Thursday...

So, I hobble out to be confronted by me retard cat Ambrose awaiting fresh meat......

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Did Ambrose 'really' think that by sitting on the birdtable that me little tits and me robin and me finches are as daft in the head as what she is.......

I can just see the birds sitting on the fence saying...... oh look its that stupid cat Ambrose..... does she think we was hatched yesterday..... come on maties lets go over to black Patricks garden, I hear they have cake crumbs out today......

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Sometimes I dispair at the animals that I surround meself with, cos they AINT BLEEDIN NORMAL...... gawds sake....... do all these lunatic creatures get drawn to me because they sense 'I aint right in the head' or do I just attract like minded lunatics lol.....

Enuff boring Sundee night Twaddling........

x

37 comments:

ciara said...

((((mel slapper ho)))) ambrose isn't the brightest crayon in the box is she? lol but she's well funny sitting in the bird table. hmmm i think if we admit u attract lunatics then we'd be confessing that we were lunatics as well cuz we seem to keep coming bk to this blob. lmao xoxoxo

JBelle said...

well. you're gonna find out from someone one so you might as well hear it from me. had the handgun out today and was shooting crows in my garden. wankers.

The Fool said...

Great scarecrow you've got there, M-Toasty. You might want to lone it to Cheech if you can get her to put the gun down. Maybe this is a side effect of the bleach. Oh well, when normal is as "daft" as it's gotten to be - well, loons is fine by me.

Thanks for the update on the bird gazebo.

Have a great evening.

the psycho therapist said...

You know how I usually tell you, ad nauseum, it's not you? This might not be one of those times. Like attratcs like, LOL!

Your animals are as creative as you. Got squir-rels? ;)

Schmeebsie's gunning crows on the back forty? Man, where's my camera...


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InlandEmpireGirl said...

Ambrose has certainly made a good recovery! I love it when cats just hang our whereever. I'll have to dig up an older picture of our cat in a feeder. Check out my new blogroll. I hope you don't mind- I made you an honorary inland empire girl.

JBelle said...

I think Wendy's comment is mean-spirited and hurtful. I think it comes as a response to the bare fact that she's jealous: I*have*a*gun.


:>

Interplanet Janet said...

Mel,

I LOVE your cat. She may be retarded but she sure ain't no fool... ;)

Since you mentioned Janet the Chicken, it reminded me I have been meaning to thank you:

I had to have blood drawn last week. I am a big pansey-ass wimp when it comes to needles. I tend to faint dead. Once, I actually fell off the table!

So I'm sitting there telling the lady I'll try not to faint on her, when I look up next to me and see this big picture of a big yellow chicken on the wall. And I burst out laughing because I think of your Janet and me, another Janet who really is a chicken I guess....

So I tell the lady about your Janet and SHE starts laughing. By the time we're finished laughing, she's drawn my blood and I'm all done. No fainting or anything! :)

So I just wanted to say thanks for helping me stay conscious... ROTFL...
(sorry for the long comment!)

Mom not Mum said...

LOL Great picture of Ambrose - maybe if he holds real real still. LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((ciara $2 whore)))))~ well surrounding meself with lunatic or 'lunatits' as little Ellis says, makes me feel normal and not an 'abby' LOL......xxxxx

~(((((JBelle))))~ well I cant complain especially after me Twaddle post months back about me shooting the starlings off the telly aerial lol..... and yeah, bloody wankers LOL........xxxxxxx

~(((((foolie)))))~ maybe I could hire her out :) see always having to think how to earn a $ lol.... and its just a bird table its not a 'bird gazebo' LOL that conjures up bird parties.......xxxxxx

~(((((((((Wendy)))))))))~ Im beginning to get the hint, all the retards and the dreggs of life cling to me like a loo thats been pebble-dashed LOL....... present company not included obviously ;).....xxxxxx

~(((((InlandEmpireGirl))))))~ cripes Im honoured that you made me an 'honorary inland empire girl'..... *cough* does it come with like an aeroplane ticket to come visit LOL...... cheesecake? trophy? no? nuffin? not even a chuftie badge? :)...... seriously..... Im smiling that you would think me worth even reading LOL........xxxxx

ps...... I would love to see your cat in the feeder LOL

I was responsible once for feeding me maties hamster when they was on holiday..... she said make sure the shed door is always closed.... well, I forgot to shut it one night and when I went to feed the hamster the following day, I almost poo'd me pants..... the neighbours cat had flipped the spring loaded little door to the cage and had somehow squeezed into the little cage and was stuck inside the cage cos the door had closed on itself LMFAO....... oh my goodness, to be confronted with that, it was just sooooooooo funny to see this fat cat wedged in the hampster cage..... of course it had eaten the hamster.... I had to explain to me matie...... not fun LOL......so wish I had had a camera with me that day lol... xxxxx

~(((JBelle))))~ I agree and I found it very uncalled for.... especially as you have a very sensitive side to you....... she is one mean bitch aint she LOL......xxxxx

~(((Interplanet Janet)))))~ ROTF its nice to know that Ive been of use to someone in this world :)..... I can die a happy woman now LOL.........xxxxx

~(((momNmum)))~ she stayed in the birdtable for over 15 minutes LOL..... well funny.....xxx

Akelamalu said...

I scrolled down and got to the photo of Ambrose and I burst out laughing! That was soooo funny! :)

Scots said...

Hi Marm babes

Now you see I am thinking Ambrose is a pretty enterprising moggy! ... We have McDonalds for fast food ... and Ambrose has worked out that the bird table is the place for her fast food!

Shame there isn't any room left for a tasty wee morsal to come flying past for her to have a feast!!! :o) LMAO

Great piccy btw - you have an eye for comedy

Mr. Fabulous said...

You have little tits? That's not what I heard...

the psycho therapist said...

I think Wendy's comment is mean-spirited and hurtful.

OMFG! ROLFL! (and on a Monday morning, too!) Thank you, darlin'.

I think someone *is* jealous about that weaponry business but knows a gun in *her* hand will be worth more than a few birds in a bush and, thus, refrains from purchasing said firearm lest this planet be littered with the remains of the stupid...and lord knows there ain't enough trash collectors to dispose of all the "bodies" left in the wake of such sprees.

I now take my leave and bid you adieu.

(Schmeebs...really, outstanding. You made my day so far!!!)

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Lynda said...

It is almost like in cartoons! LOL

I bet Ambrose just wanted to make you smile that day.

buffalodickdy said...

Cat in the bird feeder-too funny! Good title for picture "Hope springs eternal"....

JBelle said...

okay, Mellers. Now we KNOW what to get Wendy for Christmas. What? Ordinary Shark will step up for her. She'll be fine.

the psycho therapist said...

HA!

Yes.


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Jade said...

Ambrose isn't the only one!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/im-in-ur-bird-house-waitin-4-snaks.jpg

Bugwit said...

Obviously, Ambrose is merely pointing out that you have in fact purchased a cat house (not that kind) and not bird feeder.

This why the birds weren't interested and Ambrose is!

You really should read the label when you buy these things. ;-)

Jump to the Left said...

LOLOLOLOL I don't know if I'm laughing harder over the post or the comments, but I do know that I'm laughing very damn hard! LOLOLOLOL

:)

xo

Dr.John said...

You have a dumb cat and we have a dumb dog. It trys very hard to get into our above ground pool and then swims s poorly we have to rescue it.

Catch said...

that cat looks so funny sitting on the birdtable. Its a good thing Janet cant get up there or shed be up there too! I think your animals are just as lovable and funny as you are! And thats not a bad thing!!!

fatty said...

now i don't think ambrose is dumb.. i think she's thinking.. if mel attracts all these dumb animals.. i can count on one to be more daft in the head than me..:o)~

Lynn said...

"Sometimes I dispair at the animals that I surround meself with, cos they AINT BLEEDIN NORMAL......"

God, Mel! You crack me up. And yes, you might attract lunatics. I'm here, ain't I?

JBelle said...

Be safe, Sweet Mel. I am thinking of you.

JBelle said...

Be safe, Sweet Mel. I am thinking of you.

OrdinaryShark said...

Catch, I have every confidance that Janet could get up there as well. In fact, I expect she could get up there while Ambrose was holding court. She just doesn't care to as she gets fed at the main table in the big house.

Starr Kelso said...

Come on MT, would you seek fish in a swimming pool. Give Ambrose the credit she deserves. Brill absolutely brill.

eddie said...

onderful looking cat, have 4 myself, we fight over the bed every nite, cute baby

cookieboy said...

like someone said earlier mel..like attracts like! ambrose is cute in the birdhouse tho..although he ain't the brightest thinking the birds won't notice him! lolol

bye mel...keep smiling love!

cookie

Interplanet Janet said...

Catch, Shark,

I honestly don't think I could get up there... I'm terrified of heights...

ROTFL!!

Ol' Lady said...

I think your house should have a warning sign on the front door.
"Lunitics Larkin Beyond These Walls" "But Very Nice Lunitics...Most Times"
I know it would want to make me come in...but then again I'm a bit off centred and tilted to the wacker side of life :)

MarmiteToasty said...

CRIPES........ Been busy for a few days and all hell breaks out here LOL......

~((ake)))~ aint that pic just so funny lol..... you should of seen it for real.... we so laffed....xx

~((((scottie))))~ hehehe yep she has her own fast food place its called 'McTits' lol...... she can be clever, she sits under the Butterfly Bush and when a butterfly lands she sits real still then jumps swipes and gobbles one up.....xxx

~(((MrFab)))~ oh, those tits..... it depends on what you consider small....... is being about to tuck them in me waistband or into me socks classed as small? ;)......xxxxxxxx

~((((Wendy))))~ dont Schmeebs come out with just the most brilliant dry humour, I to laffed so loud at her comment.....xxxx

~(((lynda))))~ my whole bloody life feels like a cartoon some days lol.......xxxxx

~(((buffalo))))~ yeah I should of titled the comments lol.......xxxx

~((((JBelle)))))~ we have to remember that we have two solicitor maties within our folds now...... she will get away with murder LOL.......xxxx

~(((((jade)))))~ LOL@that pic.... xxxxx

~(((bugs)))~ Ambrose thought it was an open air resturant lol......xxx

~((((jumper)))))~ :)... your always laffing at me life lol..... IT AINT FUNNY.......xxxxx

~(((dr.john)))~ we also have a dumb chicken, 2 more dumb cats, a dumb scorpion that dont even sting ya when ya poke it, it just stares ya out, and a 2 well dumb chamelions, oh and a dumb owner lol.......xxxx

~(((((catch)))))~ I think there must be a sign on me front door..... all brain regjects welcome here........lol xxxxxxx

~((((fatty)))))~~ are you saying Im dumb in the head? LMFAO........xxxx

~((((lynn))))))~ life is full of wonderful lunatics..... they make up me life LOL.......xxxxxx

~(((JBelle)))~ fanks :) - its ok, we are well hardened to shit like that lol....... xxxxxxx

~((((((((Sharkie)))))))))~ of course Janets get set a place at the table in the 'big house' LOL...... and that would be where? :) ........xxxxxxxxxx

~((((((((Starr)))))))))~ I do give her credit, and fish, and chicken and biscuits but her favourite is mature cheddar cheese ;) .....xxxxxxx

~((((((eddie)))))))~ Ive been blessed, I think lol, with cats that are right proper home cats.....they aint allowed in the bedrooms at night though cos last time ambrose slept on me bed she sat on me head, and with no tale it was not pleasent LOL..... and dont call me 'cute baby' LMFAO.......xxxxxx

~((((((((((Cookie)))))))))~ yeah she should of disguised herself lol...... you keep ya pecker up to...... ok? :) .......xxxxxxx

~(((((interplant janet))))~ if you can get up on me birdtable, Id give ya 20 quid LOL........xxxxx

~((((ol lady))))~ I love off centred and wackie and off the wall :)...... I should get a sign..... enter at your own risk lol.......xxxxxxxx

Sorry I aint been around just been well busy....... so if someone could kindly clear up the mess ya all have left, I would be grateful :).......

x

The Woman said...

Ambrose is wearing camouflage you know...

green libertarian said...

I would say, that Abrose fancies herself as an opportunist!

Wonderful thread and comments.

Am always late to the party.

jolie-jordan said...

are we twins or what? animals are always coming to me too. It's eerie sometimes how they nestle with me. my friend tells me it's cuz they know good souls.

maybe it's they know the lunitic lives in me too.
xxxJolie

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post! I have NEVER laughed so hard!

I am not a blogger but have found my way to your site and thoroughly enjoy your writing.

Looking forward to your next posting...

Wendy, Beaverton, Ontario, Canada.