Wednesday, 7 March 2007

Glad THEY fink its funny........ Gawds Sake




Ok............... You have to understand this house, Im ALWAYS the first up....always..... I crawl out of bed every morning with the sound of me alarm on me mobile buzzing away..... I turn it off, then 10 minutes later me other alarm goes off, the one where I actually HAVE to get out of bed to turn off, see great ploy, it makes ya GET UP cos otherwise it drives ya crazy....... So Im first up...... I aint the best sight first thing in the morning and I stumble around in a daze, ya see I dont actually begin to really wake up until Ive had me first cuppa char......

So this morning was no different from every other morning in me life...... so I stumble down stairs to bung the kettle on before I have to shout up the stairs to check that everyone else has stirred.......

Into me kitchen....... ok something aint right....... WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM?....... ya see, the tulips in the jug with the little hearts I bought a few days ago... I buy flowers for meself every week, just a little bunch, nuffin posh..... BUT where the hell did those daffs come from....... and WHO put them in me antique jug? ya know, the jug that was a crimbo pressie to me..... ok, lets think, they was NOT there before I went to bed....... but they are there now........ who was still out when I went to bed.........SAM...... so, putting on me detective hat, they must of come from Sam.... that means ONE THING.......... he nicked them off the little roundabout just as you come into the village....... the little sod has nicked me some daffs lol........... oh well.......... there must be a reason......... who does he think I am FAGIN?...... anyways they are pretty :) - making note to HAVE A WORD when he gets up...

But thats NOT the reason that Im smiling this morning.............look at this picture....what do YOU see......



Let me explain, since I got me bird table last Friday and with all the karfuffle that went with it....... NOT one bird has visited, a pidgeon DID fly over it yesterday and just looked....... but not one little tit, nuthatch, eagle..... nuffin....... its now a standing joke amongst me maties and me lads...... every day at school drop off me maties say........ any luck......... NO ........ then they laff and laff...... every bloody day morning and evening....... the sods text me throughout the day, every day since Friday.........well...... or....... birds...... and then LOL....... I dont think its funny....... :( they are well taking the piss out of me birdless birdtable and me fruit fat block.......

So as I bunged the kettle on this morning, I stood looking out the window at me birdtable....... and .........OMG OMG joy oh joy a bird, a little bird.......THE EAGLE HAS LANDED........ oh I HAVE A BIRD..... I run to the bottom of the stairs and shout........ GET UP GET UP..... and THERES A BIRD ON ME TABLE......... I run back to the window and its still there....... I am filled with just happieness, it means when me maties say this morning 'well tweet tweet' I can actually say........ YEP..... that will shut them the hell up lol........

I make me mug of tea and wander back to the window......... its still there....... it aint moved....AND THE CAT is sitting under the birdtable, and the little bird still aint moved........ it must be a 'well ard' bird not to be scared of me cat........

OK, something aint right, the bird is dead still, maybe in fright I think, maybe its died of fright cos of the cats........ so I put on me pink fluffy slippers (ok stop taking the piss) and I tiptoe out the back door to me bird table............

THE BLOODY LITTLE SODS....... I'll kill em............. ITS NOT A REAL BIRD, its a stuffed little fake bird........ I did have to suppress a little giggle.......

When I get back in the kitchen 3 of me sons are standing there almost wetting themselves laffing so hard......... Im glad THEY fink its funny.......

So me day has started with stolen daffs and a fake bird.......... oh joy, its a sign of the day to come........

I hope your Wednesday has a laughable start to it as mine has...

Enough Twaddle for today....

x

22 comments:

The Fool said...

Ha! Good for your boys. Say Marm, why don't you dress that feeder up like a scarecrow. That will probably work.

:)

I'll stop back later...gotta hi-ho hi-ho.

OrdinaryShark said...

If those boys were doing their own bloddy laundry they wouldn't have so much time to pinch daffies and plant fake little birdies.
I laughed so hard that I took a phone call and can't remember a thing about it. Good thing I don't do anything importent here. I gotta stop playing with kids; started the day off playing racquetball with two 20-somethings and didn't win a single game.
Don't fret about the birdies; build it and they will come. They're probably just giving it some time first to make sure it doesn't fall down;-)

JBelle said...

It wouldn't be so funny if they weren't standing back, waiting for your reaction. good, good boys. Tell them to come visit their auntie in the States. I'll make 'em laugh. :)

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ I aint dressing up me birdtable to look like some bleedin guy fawkes LOL..... Jebus you and your ideas lol x

~Shark~ hehehe sorry about ya phone call..... and aint you a little to ancient to be running around playing sport with nippers half your age LMFAO......

When I told me maties to day about the fake bird, I thought they was gonna fall on the floor where they were laffing so very much........they are finding this very amusing lol....... bloody friends...... one texted me this evening to say there has been reports of an ostrich in the area could I please check me birdtable lol.....

And another texted and said a flock of penguins are flying south, please put out more kippers on the birdtable....

These are suppose to be maties LMFAO......... gawds sake - xx

~JBelle~ :) they aready know about Auntie JBelle :) x

Im thinking as long as it aint 'Auntie Morris' LMFAO ...... ok only Wendy will get that one *giggling*

The Fool said...

No way Marmie..."normal" people are WEIRD. You have character. You're special!

Wouldn't want any other way. Would you?

"Uniquee" is the ultimate compliment among the kids at school.

:)
:)
:)
:)

The Fool said...

Uniquee = the unique of the unique. It is a compliment. One you are deserving of. Live with it.

Peanut said...

OMG

That's just hysterical... I love your boys!!!!!

Oh.. and have you made your will out yet? If not.. then make sure that what I see in the first picture comes to me, yeah? And if you already have one.. add it on for me, yeah? You know what I'm looking at, don't you? And I know that you know that I know that it'd have a really good home here! ROFL

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ special and different is good right? LOL and jebus knows Ive lived with it all me life.... :) Ive always known..... and hey.... fanks... just fanks... xxx sleep sweet xx

~Peanut~ LOL ok its yours, and yep I KNOW what it is ya have ya eyes on lol.... (hey hope it all went well today) - I'll ring ya at the weekend - love ya xx

Do's you all know that even though you cant really see it proper, but that seating behind the table is a 100 year old, 10ft church pew, and under that checked tablecloth is the church alter table from the same church :) - We hold 'kitchen table tennis tournaments on it :) - I found it for sale about 13 years ago in an old barn from a well posh woman in Bosham, and I would NOT part with it for all the tea in china...love me love me pew LMFAO.... yet I dont do god..... but I love these 2 items with a passion..... so maybe 'god' lurks in me somewhere - Jebus, does that mean theres hope for me yet ;)

Gracious, just look at the time, Im gonna be knackered AGAIN in the morning :( - ok last up, lights out, cats in, unplug......

And someone PLEASE bring me a cuppa tea and toast in bed in the morning will ya.......

nite, fanks for stopping by - slater maties .....

x

BurdockBoy said...

MT:
My what clever/cruel/witty/ boys you have raised. It sure amuses us readers.

As for the contraband daffs- ah there's plenty to go around. Last year when I was living out in Oregon I took a huge load of daffs from the Catholic Church down the road. Praise Jesus.

Another interesting thing I couldn't help ut notice is the "pigs" picture above the table. A bit of subliminal action going on there? We used to have a "No Dumping" sign that my brother stole from somewhere, in our bathroom.

Ha ha. Stuffed bird. That's rich.

MarmiteToasty said...

~Burdock~ :) You get the chuftie badge LOL you are the only one that realised about the 'Pig' picture..... :) many a time our kitchen table has been like a feeding trough on a farm LOL.... very good young man....

x

gazey said...

((( Marmite ))))....finaly, I was able to figure out how to post here..... took me long enough, huh?
I LOVE your blog site! You know I already love to read your musings, but with added pictures, it makes it all the more fun.... great idead..... say, I hope you will condider publishing your musings......they make fun reading... thanks for sharing a bit of you with us.
love you, foreverfriend
* gazey *

the psycho therapist said...

Good morning, Marmy dear.
(I saw the pig but thought it best to keep my thoughts to myself, lol.)

Your boys...
Well, they always sound lovely when I get them on the phone so I dunno...you might be making this whole thing up. (wink wink)

Sure is purty day over here, ice and all, what with Susan packing it off in accounting land and Peanut crossing a threshold. Why, I didn't know better I'd think I saw a bluebird as I walked from my car into work this morning.

See...now that's twaddle, every day rubbish! (lol)

{{{{perfect womanhugs to you}}}

---

The Fool said...

Morning, Marm. Any birds at the feeder this morning? Penguins like crackers and cheese...and orange slushies.

Maybe you should hang a "free beer" sign. That always works for bringing the turkeys out in my neck of the woods.

:)

((have a great day!))

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((((Gazey))))))))~ oh my goodness, its so lovely to see you here :)

People of my blobworld, this is me matie Gazey.... I loves her to death.... just like I do you guys :) (oh how american did that sound lol)...

Gazey, I hope you intend to stick around :)....... these people are super wonderful loving special GORGEOUS maties....... xxxxxxx

~(((Fool)))~ Good early evening :) -nope no birdies..... :( Im thinking it might be best just to chop the bloody thing up for kindling for me fire..... bleeding little ungrateful bloody birds....

My friend Rich use to wind me up about penguins living in Alaska, I said I was gonna go live there and open a penguin sanctary.... :) cos I love them little birds....

My matie Jeff up at the farm was gonna give me a turkey chick a few years back...... I was sooooo excited, I would love a turkey pet, one of those with the ugly faces and the dangly snot bit..... :( but the fox got in and killed and took them away :(

RIP dear turkey chick...

sigh......

x

The Fool said...

Your friend Rich is a card. There are no penguins in Alaska.

I can paint a few wooden ones and put 'em in the yard though...

Turkey Chick is with Phylis now...sniff.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Wendy)))~ opps *S* didnt see ya there..... me lads are right proper gentlemen :).. well sometimes.. well on Tuesdays.. well in November :)...... ok they will have to do, they be all I ave....

Its been like the most glorious spring day again here today..... but ya know what British weather is like..... all could change within hours....... bluebirds bluetits.... I would give almost anything to have a bird visit me table :( - loves ya xxx

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ now, are you taking the piss out of me? aye aye? are ya? lol

x

The Fool said...

"Taking the piss out of me." I'm going to have to try that one on my boss, or the superintendent...

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ :) it means 'taking the mickey' lol

:)

x

OrdinaryShark said...

Marm, Of course we saw the pig but what's to comment about, I mean, it's a pig. I have chocks painted all over my mud room/entry to the house. And little baby chicks and dancing eggs, all done by my ever-so-talented Mither who paints and stencils for a living. Beautiful stuff.
It's beeld'n cold here. Send warmth.

MarmiteToasty said...

~Shark~ ok buster, its like this......... you call me 'marm' once more, Im gonna ave to hunt ya down and rip out your spleen... it makes me sound like an elderly queen LMFAO......... :)

Oh I LOVE chickens with a passion :)...... I would have them painted everywhere if I could lol - I will have to maybe put a post up about 'Colin me Cockeral' one of these days :)

I use to paint chickens and all other farm animals on terricotta plant pots and sell to shops and at craft fairs..... use to stay up til 2 in the morning filling orders.... thats when we was starting my Xs dream business, and I was supporting us all..... love doing me painting...... sigh.....

Wow how clever is your mither, I would love to see photos..... and NO you can ave our lovely spring weather :) its ours lol x

MarmiteToasty said...

ok maties - fanks for all those that popped over.... see if I have time to put up a new post blob tomorrow.....

Its almost 12.30am here and Ive been slogging away doing paperwork...... BUT it aint even my paperwork lmfao.... its for a friend thats got in a bit of a muddle with her books and she is gonna get DONE bigtime ..... SO I told her to hand them over and I will redo them all...... A WHOLE BLOODY YEARS WORTH lol...... well thats what maties are for right?

Last one in, off with the lights, shove the cats out, feed Eric and unplug.......... and NO one bought me a cuppa this morning lol.....

Be safe x