Wednesday, 12 March 2008

In Honour Of My First Born Son Ben - Happy Birthday

Ok........ so, this is a day late but still, never mind..... Yesterday marked my Ben's 25th Birthday..... where has the time gone..... how did we get to 'here' when it only seems like we are still 'there'.. how far we have all come.... how precious I hold this child/man in my eyes and heart.....

Im almost exactly twice as old as my first born son Ben..... this child bought so much joy into my life from the day he was born......



Here he is about a hour old...

I use to work for the Ministry of Defence and had for 9 years.... and I worked for the Minstry up til 4 weeks of my due date.... but we had only been married a couple of years and with an all but derelict house to do up I had no choice but to leave the Minstry on the Friday and go work at my X's fathers plant nursery business on the Monday..... no feet up on maternity leave for me LOL...no making baby clothes and baby quilts for me lol..... that should of been the first sign lmfao..... well this child this first to be born was a fortnight late so I also worked at the plant nursery, heavily pregnant right up to the day he was born..... I worked all morning and went to me doctors appointment at noon where he told he was ringing the hospital and to get me arse down their cos this baby at a fortnight late needed to be born.... I remember asking him if I could finish the work day cos we were busy at the nursery and he told me that I shouldnt even of been working there at this late stage LOL....... well ya know the saying...... you wear my shoes buster and then tell me what I should and shouldnt be doing LOL



Two weeks old...

So...... I first went and did a grocery shop so that me tosser of a now X had supplies in the house lol...... and then he took me down the hospital and we got booked in and there was no sign of the baby arriving yet, so me tosser of a husband went back to work and left me down there on me own scared as buggery not knowing what to expect and very frightened.....well I went into labour that evening and they rang him and he asked how long before the baby would be born and they said a few hours and he told them to ring him just before they thought it would be born LMFAO...... oh my, when I think back now, I cant believe how uncaring he was even back then...I real truely have been alone all me life..... this was to be our first child, he was suppose to be there by my side.... his excuse was.... he had to get up early for work and he needed every minute of sleep, so ring him only when the baby was gonna arrive.....what about me aye? lol



8 Weeks old...

Anyways...... he made it back just in time to see his our first son born..... this precious bundle of what looked like a yellow chinaman LOL..... he was jaundiced and he was a tad yellow lmfao.... within a hour of his birth my husband kissed his son and hugged me and went home to bed cos he was tired LMFAO...... smiling now just thinking of it all.....


So enough of that rubbish, ya cant change the past, but I can still feel the loneliness now when I remember seeing the other new mums with their husbands by their sides sitting for hours and hours beaming and so happy and proud......

So...... 4 days on and we take our child home...... our Ben..... home to our little derelict house lol.... This child was so very special.... we took him on his first holiday to the lake district and cornwall when he was 5 months old and he started to crawl on that holiday, I kid you not, we have video of him :)..... he walked at just 8 months old.... so when his first birthday came around and he was running around whilst all his one year old maties was just sitting on the floor being babies lol....



5 months old and crawling already lol...

As Ben grew he changed every thought I had in my head, ya see, cos my parents hated me and were extremely cruel in many ways, I was so scared that I would of not been a good mum, that maybe whatever made my parents the way they were, that maybe I would be the same.... but that was so not the case.... I loved this child with every ounze of my body heart and soul.... I loved him with everything I had never felt before.... I laid to rest the fear that I had carried for so long..... I was NOT my mother and I was nuffin like her.... cos I knew how to love my child....



8 months and already able to walk....

Ben grew to be such a funny little character and by the time he was 2 he could talk well proper and knew his colours and numbers and most of his letters..... he was gifted and its not like I had sat for hours and hours with him cos when he was only 10 days old I went back to work at the nursery with baby in tow and did that until the day before my second child was to be born lol...and then with two in tow until my third was born and my fourth lol..... circle circle a never ending circle.... I often wondered what it would be like to be a stay at home mum, but alas that was not in my destiny....

By the time Ben was 4 1/2 and was about to start school he could swim like a fish and had advanced right through all the swimming lessons and had reached his 'life savers' lessons...... he was 4 1/2 the other kids were 13 LMFAO..... he looked so tiny standing there at the side of the pool but there was nuffin they could do to stop him, he had earned his place lol.....

By the time Ben turned 9 he began showing an interest in music and out of the blue asked if he could have a saxaphone.... I didnt even know he knew what a saxaphone was lol..... so I out of the blue bought him his first saxaphone for his 9th birthday..... and a teacher at his junior school who taught the clarinet said she would start him off..... well she was gobsmacked cos within 5 lessons this child of mine could play the saxaphone like he was a 50 year old blues player...... he could read music within 6 weeks and could listen to any music on the radio and play it tune perfect from just listening...... the teacher said she could no longer teach him cos he needed a professional, so I use to take him once a week to a music school on a Monday night and there he stayed for quite a few years..... he won almost every competion the school put him in..... and by the time he had been playing just a year he was beating 14-18 year olds in the Portsmouth Music Festival LOL...... I think this boy had a talent.......

When he was 10 he asked if he could be one of the buskers in town... ya know those that placed a hat on the floor and played and people lobbed money in the hat... I told him he was only 10 but he was quite adament that he wanted to busk outside the shops in Portsmouth over the crimbo period lol..... so being to young to leave down town on his own I use to take him with his expensive sax his 8 year old brother Tom who would hold the hat lol his 4 year old brother Sam who would just stand next to his brother and I would sit on the bench with Jacob who was then a 6 month old baby and just watch incase there was trouble or bullies...he wanted to do this so very much so how could I deny his need.....his music teacher said it would be good for him...... do you know, that boy played with no music every crimbo carol ya can think of and old blues songs and a bit of jazz and he would make over 200 quid ($400) an hour.... ya see he was tiny, and without seeing who was playing he sounded like he must of been an old pro playing and when people realised it was but a mere child I think they was well impressed and he made more money LOL....he use to attract such a crowd and people would stand next to him and have their photo taken lol in case he was one day famous I suppose LMFAO....

When he was 13 he heard that a pub in town had an open jam session night on a Wednesday where anyone that could play at a good standard could just get up with strangers and jam etc..... I thought he must be joking but again his music teacher said it would be character building and to jam with strangeers with no music and no idea what to play would see if he really had what it took..... lol...... so from 13 Ben was playing in the pub on a Wednesday night, at first they was dubious of such a young lad playing and he was not allowed near the bar area LOL but I remember the first time they gave him the nod to go up front with 50 year old drummer and 2 old guitarist to jam, they asked him what he wanted to play and he said.... (lump in throat just thinking about it now).. you play and I will get the beat and join in as and went....... well I kid you not...... he had grown men in tears.... he was amazing, and within weeks of the quiet Wednesday night jam sessions word spread and the pub would be packed on a Wednesday with people just to hear this tiny 13 year old lad play the blues and jazz and rock and roll..they gave him his own spot each week besides playing with others he had his own solo time lol.. my child, my special gifted child......

About the same time he showed an incredible interest in the drums and so that christmas I bought him a second hand drum kit..... well the talent he showed for the drums was as amazing as his talent for the saxaphone..... again within weeks he could drum and what a drummer he became..... he also picked up a guitar one night at the pub jamming sessions and just strummed and plucked and within a few weeks he had bought himself his first guitar with is own money and taught himself how to play.....

Ben was also a very wonderful sportsman, he played Tchoukball, football, rugby and had such a passion for rock climbing and sking...... I tried to give him every experience I could.... so that maybe one day he would find a path through life that was his own....

And so the years passed and my child my beautiful child grew and grew and him and his brothers bought me such joy in a very hard world that I found myself in....he left school at 16 and went to college to study a BTech National Diploma in Music technology..... which is the same course that my Sam is doing now 7 years later lol....

When my Ben was 16 and just before he started college his father walked out of his life and his 3 brothers lives and left us all on the shitpile of life...... many thought of it as the end of our lives but I had to look at it as just the beginning..... I tried so hard not to let Ben take on the responsibility of being the man figure in our house what with him being the oldest, and I didnt want him and his brothers just to become statistics of divorce, and go off the rails and become 'bad boys' cos there was no father figure in his and their lives....I just wanted him to enjoy being who he was it was NOT his responsibility to be anything but himself..... I wanted to let him still be a youth and have fun and live his young life free from any worries...... my 4 sons and everything was my responsibility and it was up to me to carry that load...... I hope I didnt let him down....... he did look out for his brothers and would of protected them with his life, but I never let him carry the load...... I hope and pray I carried it high enough....

We are so very close, dont get me wrong we have had our ups and downs along the way and when he left home at 21 to share a flat with his long term girlfriend, I knew even through the tears that I had done a good job on this young man, this boy those heart was so full of love for people and life and music..and was just the most fun to be around...... but I also felt that a part of our anchor was being lifted, but that was my job, to grow these children the best I could and set them free out into the world with all that I had nurtured and guided and loved tucked in his pocket.....

He still played his music but more the drums then the sax or guitar and he couldnt for the life of him get a job in the music industry so he went into engineering...... and had his music as his passion .... this gift he was given will always be with him, to bring out when he needs it....



This is my Ben, Jacob, Sam and Lucy (Bens then girlfriend who I love like one of my own) from a couple of years ago when I flew us all to Cyprus for a week one Easter cos we hadnt had a holiday together since being on our own... alas my Tom couldnt get the time off work... I LOVE this photo.... taken at The Tomb of Kings...

But alas 18 months ago his world went tits up when his then girlfriend of 6 years left him a fortnight after they had just moved into a bigger flat, and as he worked for her fathers engineering company the father made my lad redundant and said there was no job there anymore for him.....so 2 punches in a world that had been safe and secure and a girlfriend that had been a part of my family for 6 years.... he could no longer afford his flat on his own and with no job he had no choice but to move back home.... this will always be his home.... he was in such a bad way emotionally.... and all I could do was wrap him in the safety of his family and let his heart bleed and his soul ask questions and love him like I had loved him all his life.... its not been easy, he has no bedroom of his own here, he had moved out 3 years ago and his room had been taken over by one of his brothers lol.... his whole contents of his flat is stored not only full to the roof in me huge shed but in my bedroom.... and he sleeps in the lounge..... but this is his home and he came home cos he needed us...... he was only out of work for a few months and now works for an engineering company here in the village, he is slowly rebuilding his life... with the love of his family......

Last year he got jumped on in town by some thugs and had his jaw broken in 2 places.... those men got just under a year inside and he is awaiting his compensation with a hope that he will have the deposit for a house.........



This is my Ben this time last year waiting to go down into theatre for emergency surgery to get his broken jaw rebuilt, it is now held together with a 2 plates, he had his jaw wired shut for nigh on 10 weeks.... it was painful for all of us..... not just him... he is a bit out of it in this photo lol...

He hates it that at 24/25 he STILL gets asked for ID when he goes to buy tins of lager in the shop and gets ID'd in clubs LOL it must be his baby good looks.....



Yep, thats me boy lol

I love this child as much today as I did the minute he was born..... we talk and we suss and we sort out shit in life, its not been easy at times and he has pushed me to my limits sometimes.....but I understand it cant of been easy to move back home with no room of his own...after living away in town..... and town is where that boys heart is, he is not really a country boy, but loves the hustle and bustle of town life....... but he knows my love is unconditional and I will always be here for him..... no matter where I end up in the world..... ya see, we only have each other..... he is a wonderful boy/man, and except for that little blip where his heart was broken so very badly.....he has remained the funny beautiful person he has always been..... Im so very proud to of been a part of my Bens life, we have been alone really from the day he was born..... and my love for him will never fade..... he is my first born...... my child and the beginning of my life........



This is Ben and his now girlfriend (whom I dont particulary like lol) just before crimbo when we went out for a meal in the Harvest Home pub.... his hair is quite short in this photo..

I sometimes wonder what sort of person he would of become if he had had a father figure in his life instead of just me..... I hope I have done the very best I could under extreme circumstances.... I hope he can look at me with pride, cos I sure as hell look at him and my heart almost bursts with the love I have for him.... I just hope Ive been a good enough mum for him.... we have laffed til we've cried and we have cried til we've laffed....

I love you Ben...... through thick and thin..... I'll aways love you .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON...... I hope you know how much I love you and how proud of you I am of you for all we have been through since day one...... I did my best son, with no guide and no hand to hold..... I hope its enough...

Here are his brothers....

TOM

SAM

JACOB

Ok more then enough boring twaddle for one week....

x

50 comments:

Bina said...

I LOVE this tribute to your son, and I LOVE the pictures. What a goodlooking boy you have, and so talented! I bet your heart just bursts with pride over him. And to imagine, making that much money playing sax on the street! That must have been a HUGE help for your family.

I do feel bad for him, what his girlfriend and the father did. That poor boy.

And yes, I'm quite certain you were an excellent mother, because if not, he wouldn't have turned out so wonderful!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!!!!!

ciara said...

goodness! i had to scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to leave a comment lol

i always love the tributes to your sons that you do on their birthdays. so filled with love, and you can really tell how proud of them you are. you can tell you've been a great mother to them.

my goodness, i can't believe his x did that to him. she could've at least done it before getting a new flat...sheesh. and to not have a job because of her? but i'm glad he's getting back on track. hopefully, if you don't like this new girl much, she won't stick around too long lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEN!! sure looks like you've turned into a fine man...your mama's done a good job of it, and i can tell she loves ya loads. hope your day was one of your most wonderful xoxo

ChrisB said...

Happy Birthday to Ben.
This is such a wonderful tribute to your very talented first born son. As I'm reading this your love and pride shines through so I think you must be a brilliant mother.

I'm really surprised that with such musical talent Ben was not able to get into the music industry!

Ciao said...

Your love for your sons makes my heart smile and sing! You are a brilliant Mommy! Hooray for those of us blessed with the Mommy Gene!

And even though we are supposed to love them all the same, the first one is just a little more special, isn't he?

All your lads are truly blessed to have you in their lives and I hope they realize it. If they ever forget, they will have to answer to the likes of us!

Casdok said...

Happy birthday Ben. Lovely photos and a very good looking young lad!

PinkAcorn said...

Wonderful tribute. I can relate to looser ex's and giving birth...

Ben and my youngest ,24 y/o, have a lot in common...plays guitar, drums and base, even made a CD this year for demo.

Ben is a lucky boy to have you as a Mom ! You go girl.

Akelamalu said...

What a handsome man your son is Mel. I read most of your post through tears, not because you've all had a hard time but because of the strength you have as a family. You have every right to be proud of your boys and yourself. Your sons will always be OK as long as they have you. Ben's heart will mend, just like his jaw, and he'll be the stronger for it. I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world Mel. xxxx

Akelamalu said...

Oh Blimey I forgot to say it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!

Lora said...

Ya'll have somethin special Mel....I'm sorry that your ex refused to see that he had a family to be proud of. You've done wonderfully raising your boys. They have a loving mama and I a forever friend. Happy Birthday to Ben !

Lora said...

Wow..did I ever mess up !!...lol...I should have read your reply to my previous post first..LOL

Silver Valley Girl said...

MT-What a wonderful story about your son Ben. Happy Birthday! I love how you encouraged his musical talent. It makes me want to jam right along with him. You could just feel your love and pride coming through this post. You have four wonderful sons, and they are blessed to have a mother like you.

Pamela said...

I would say you're the reason for your boys being men.

I can't help but think that music should play a bigger part in his life.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Happy 25th to Ben! Oh the wonderful memories you have. (I’m reminded that my ex-wife “borrowed” all of the photos of my kids when infants and has yet to return them).

buffalodickdy said...

One thing was clear: You love him very,very much.. Nice tribute, to a nice persons' nice kid! Happy Birthday wishes to your son- from Buffalo Dick hisself...

Maggie May said...

A much loved son! What more could you ask for! Say Happy Birthday from me!
He looks a fine lad & must be proud of his mum!

JBelle said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN! And a sock to grow a block! and a pinch to grow an inch! (he'll have to wait for when we meet to see which one I have for him...)

laughingwolf said...

happy 25, ben!

Cindy said...

What a wonderful tribute to your Ben!
But I have to tell you something- it gave me goosebumps as I read it- he's so much like our Becky! hmmmm...what if the two of them could get to know each other....

Mom not Mum said...

Happy Birthday!!! What a fantastic story - and life for someone still so young.

Kati said...

AWwww, Toasty, you've raised 4 fantastic kids!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BEN!!!! I hope he had a fabulous one! And tell him that it may not be great to be continually carded NOW, but wait 10 or 15 years and he'll be appreciating the fact that he doesn't look as old as other guys his age. Those of us with baby-faces well into our teens & twenties also continue to (generally) look much younger than our age-peers as we get into our 30's & 40's. It's a good thing! (Where as those who look old for their age in their teens, look REALLY old when they get towards 30. Just ask my baby sis. *grin*)

Inland Empire Girl said...

Birthdays are a perfect time to do a tribute to a son any of us would be so proud of. I love the timeline of his life and the pictures are wonderful. Give yourself a pat on the back Mum... you have had such an influence on this son and all the others.

Dumdad said...

Lovely post. Your boys must be proud of their mum. I looked at the baby pix and it hurled me nearly 14 years back in time when my adored son was born. I consider every day I've had with him a blessing - even changing his nappies!

Scots said...

'ey up' marmy babes - what a fabby post - your lads a lucky beggars to have you! x

Jen said...

What a blessing sons are. And what a blessing you are to your sons. I have always believed that God gives us the perfect children for our families. And he helps us be the mothers they need. You and Ben (and Tom, and Sam, and Jacob) are proof of that. Thanks for sharing your story.

Within Without said...

Terrific tribute and biography of your son and of you, Toasty.

You obviously have a lot of love to give, despite (or maybe partly because of) your own experience as a child...

Your four sons are the lucky ones, but then so are you. I'm sure they'll always love you...what goes around comes around.

:-)

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((bina))))~ fanks :) - I will admit Ive been blessed with very handsome sons.... yeah and I do love him warts and all lol....xxxxx

~((((ciara anyones for a look at a handsome young toyboy))))~ not sure Im always a good mum, he I suppose at times was me guinea pig being the first lol.... but I tried to do the best by him....xxxxxxxxx

~((((Crispy)))))~ well he is in a band but so wanted to get into the music industry via recording studios, going the technical side more then the playing.... but, its a gift he will always have, as does his brother Sam, they are both very talented musicians in their own right.....xxxxx

~(((ciao)))~ welcome to you :) - well dont know about blessed, half the time I had no idea what I was doing and its not all been a bed of roses but more often then not just the thorns lol..... but I did me best under extreme circumstances....xxxxx

~((((casdok))))~ :) aint he just so handsome lol....xxxxxx

~((((pinkacorn))))~ fanks for your kind words.... Ben and his band do have a CD cut and and my Sam and his band are half way through cutting theirs....sounds like your youngest and my oldest and thirdest have much in common :).... we should get them together lol....xxxxx

~(((((ake)))))~ fanks you.... and dont cry, life is what it is sometimes, and Im not always strong, I do have me moments lol the scary bit is Im all they have and that in itself is a heavy weight to carry at times.... he is handsome :) and even with the ups and downs of this year since he moved home he knows I love him unconditionally and I'll always wrap him in me arms when he needs it....xxxxxx

~(((((((((lora)))))))))))~ yeah, look what the tosser missed out on lol.... maties do comment on how very close we all are, they are special, and my job is almost done, I wonder what lays next install for me......xxxxxxxxxx

~((((SilverValleyGirl))))~ I do know his talent will be there always and how knows what the future holds for him, especially as my Sam is also now doing a BTec National Diploma in Music Technology, they will both have the qualifications and experience to maybe do something together besides playing in their seperate bands..... and fanks for your kind words, I could only do what was in my heart for what was in my sons soul......xxxxxx

~((((pamela))))~ yeah 2 grown and 2 on the way lol, then I will be surplus to requirements lol.... Im sure somewhere along the line his music will play a bigger part in it, he is still sorta young.....xxxxxxx

~((((((Saintly)))))))))~ that is so sad that your X aint given you back the photos of your kids.... I treasure the photos of my lads the old and the new more then anything else in me house..... my X walked away from these boys without so much as taking one photo with him.......

Maybe you could ask your X to return them or at least she could get copies for you........xxxxxxxx

~(((((buffalo))))# ya can tell by my post that I love him???? and fanks :) I can be nice sometimes lol....xxxxxxx

~((((maggie may))))~ I hope he can be proud of me and how far Ive got us all without to many hiccups along the road..... with 4 sons to raise completely alone it could of been so different, but I refused to let them just become common statistics of divorced parents, ya know, the mum raise 4 out of control lads..... that was SO not gonna happen, dont get me wrong, we have had our moments lol its not been all plain sailing, but I refuse to not be a huge part in their lives, I am all they have......xxxxxxxx

~((((((((JBelle)))))))~ he will probably take the pinch to make him grow an inch, he hates it that Tom and Sam his next brothers down are both taller then he is lol...... xxxxxxxxxx

~(((((Wolfie))))))~ fanks matie.... I know I know Im well old to have a 25 year old son lol.....xxxxxx

~(((((((cindy))))))))~ cripes, give me your phone number and we will arrange a date for them both lol.......cos I DONT like his now girlfriend not one iota lol.....xxxxxxxxx

~((((((((MnM))))))))))~ fanks you...... he thinks he is old now though cos he knows I was his age tied down with a mortgage and a baby and working me arse of ..... Im just glad he aint tied down with kids and a house of yet......xxxxxxxxx

~((((((((kati)))))))))~ fanks you, its not always a bed of tulips ya know we do have our 'moments' and god they can be LOUD lol.....as the keep being ID'd I told him he will be like Cliff Richards and keep his youthful looks into old age lol..... but that dont snap his biscuit at his age lol and it was so funny when he had to get his 18 year old brother to go in the shop and buy his birthday booze lol.....xxxxxx

~((((InlandEmpireGirl)))))~ fanks you....... I just wanted them to grow to be caring loving fun hard working adults....... with a few hiccups along the way, I think he has got there with just a little shove from me....Ive tried to find the photos of him with his saxaphone but I have boxes and boxes of photos unmarked lol.... when I find them I will post them.... I know he was special from day one........xxxxxxxxx

~((((dumdad)))))~ I would like to think that when they have kids of their own they might then realise how hard a job I had raising them alone lol.... my youngest is 14 and I to feel blessed to of been a mum of these 4.... sometimes now they are all taller then me I feel like a little short Italian mama lol.....xxxxx

~((((((((Scottie))))))))))~ Ive been worried about you matie, nice to see you back........ see I told ya I was old lol now with a 25 year old son Ive proved it lol.....xxxxxxx

~(((((((((jen)))))))))))~ cripes fanks for your kind words....... you would take them back on the days I aint at me best lol I can go at it like a fishwife LOL..... I knew I had a challenge so these lads didnt go off the rails...... but we did it together with love and love and more love.......xxxxxxx

~((((ShakeItAllAbout))))))~ yeah I ooooze love lol..... sometimes it drips out me nose :) - Yeah they love me I think, they show it in the little things they do and dont do LMFAO.......its been hard work but a lifetimes work that I wouldnt of missed for the world.... I just wanted them to be surrounded by the love that I never had growing up, be it with just me by there sides and just me cheering them on.....

Now Im exhausted lol so I hope something comes around soon LMFAO......xxxxxxxxx

In_spired said...

marmitetoasty:

I'm always a "day late and a dollar short". Happy Belated Birthday to Ben...

I don't know you but I think I love you very much!! You have grabbed my heart with your postings.

Bless you, Sweet Girl...

ciara said...

the new gf looks prissy and bitchy! lol and are ya offering ben to me as my boytoy? lmao xoxo

Interplanet Janet said...

((((((((((Marmie)))))))))),

God, you have grown yourself some GORGEOUS boys...

I wish somehow, they could see what you have written about them here, though I know that they probably don't know this blog exists.

All I know is that, if my mum cared about me like this, and to care for me the way you have cared for yours even when they are adults, I would not suffer from the anxiety and anguish that plagues me.

Mel, You are SUCH an excellent mother. Your children are SO blessed. And I am so happy for them.

Thank you also for validating the way I feel about my own boy, Scotty. I am not my mother, too, because I would die for him.

Happy Birthday to Ben. I hope he realizes how lucky he is. :)

I luvs you,

Janet

(PS - I would like to email you - you feel like such a kindred spirit. Please email Wendy and she can give you my email). :)

susan said...

Late Happy Birthday wishes to Ben!

Ya know, he already has the best birthday gift a son can have, a mother like you!!!!

Flowerpot said...

What a lovely post Marmite. I'm in floods of tears. Yuo've done a grand job. I love the name Ben - I have a brother by that name too and he is extra special.

buffalodickdy said...

Good hearts are always encased in people who know when to be tough- and tender...

Robin said...

Really beautiful post. He's as lucky to have you as you are to have him.

(I see you at Jolie's all the time.)

Go Figure said...

Happy B-Day Ben!

Slip said...

Hope the buttons on your bustier are sewn on tight cause they must be popping with pride! I have a pair of them man/boy progenies myself and they still love their momma, call or see her everyday even though neither live at home. Both are into the music, youngest has set up my old farmhouse where he lives as a studio where they jam and make music.

It sure does feel good when you know that they turned out all right even without an owners manual when they was little diaper fillers.

Happy Birthday Ben!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Ben. I always thought of you as much younger Marmite, must be the way you write. When you mentioned being almost twice as old as Ben, I realized you are getting up there like me. GreenLib and I got together last night and he is sending a gift to you, from me. I hope it serves its purpose. I enjoy your stories and your comments very much, and your nippers are a fine bunch. I have two sons myself, and they are the best things that ever happened to me. The Stickman

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Ben!!!

Another great piece of writing, thanks for sharing your talents.

--anonymous

Cedar Street Kid said...

Wonderful-My two"children" are now in their thirties, and I love them more now than ever.First time to your site-very nice-love your humor.

His Girl Friday said...

Fantastic, Marmie, Job Well Done!! :))
you've got some good-looking kids!!! I love the tribute!! :))

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Inspired)))))~ Goodness, Im just me, no one special :) fanks for your lovely words.....xxxxx

~((((ciara anyone for a fiddle of a toyboy)))))~ I would rather him be with a 72 year old then with this little stuck up little cow LMFAO...... oh the stories I could tell ya about her.... put it this way, she is NOT daughter-in-law material......xxxxxxxx

~((((InterplantJanet)))))~ Do you HAVE to make me cry with me cuppa teat this morning..... I dont know how to be anything that I aint...I just know that I love these boys with everything I have.....

I will warn you and you can ask ciara and lora and cis and and and.... Im a bit of a slagbag emailer lol.... but here ya go....

marmitetoasty@yahoo.com

All I knew in life was that I didnt wanna be anything but a loving mum, making my lads lives feel secure and wanted and loved..... fanks for your kind words.... gawds sake.....xxxxxxx

~((((((((((((susan)))))))))))~ well sometimes I think he would beg to differ LOL......fanks you...xxxxxx


~((((Flowerpot))))~ I named him after that rat that Michael Jackson sang about lmfao....and hey NO TEARS lol.....xxxxx

~(((((buffalo))))~ well, me, Im 'well ard'...now you stop with the kind words, I for one dont deserve em...xxxxxxx

~((((robin))))~ welcome, Ive seen ya over at Jolies....welcome.... Somedays when I feel knackered its hard to find 'lucky' LOL....xxxxx

~((((((Starr))))))~ always short and sweet and straight to the point :) - fanks you.....xxxxxxx

~((((slip))))~ Its been a long hard road lol.... under tucking me chest adornments from me socks and sticking them out with pride LOL - Oh how wonderful to have the old farmhouse for all that music....

Sharkies lad has a beautiful old barn for gigs etc... you can just imagine the noise in me little cottage when Ben or Sams Band come round to practise lol....

I hope he/they love me.... thats all I would like.....xxxxxxx

~((((((Stickman))))))~ YOU CALLING ME OLD lol.... cripes why on earth did you think I was old? did ya know read me 50th birthday post back in September lol.....

'It must be the way I write' lol I dont know how to write any different lmfao....

Oh my me stick is on its way :) well chufted I am..... and at last there should be a letter in the post for you this week lol....xxxxxxxx

~annonomouse# ok who are ya?? come on own up??? and fanks for your nice words.... WHO ARE YA? :)...x

~((((cedar street kid))))~ welcome, Ive seen ya around and lurked a few times on ya site lol.... yep my love for my lads is unconditional :).... xxxxx

~(((his girl friday))))~ yep I will admit I bred some handsome lads lol....fanks you......xxxxx

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to imply you were old, gawd forbid. You write young and have a young spirit is all I meant. I don't remember your 50th back in September, only that you were born in the same month as I was. You sound like a young girl to me, so keep it up. I did recieve a letter from you last week, sorry I didn't mention it before but thanks anyway, such a splendid letter. I got to learn a little bit more about you than from the blog, so thanks again. I just wrote another one to you telling you about the stick, so that should be there soon. As for the stick, give it a couple of weeks, as GreenLib is working on it and like I said, I hope you put it to good use. The Stickman

Anonymous said...

I need to remain anonymous for now.

--anonymous

Bina said...

Okay, it's been almost a week. Time to post something! I need my Twaddle fix!

By the way what does "Twaddle" and "Tosser" mean? I will probably be asking you these things have the come up, and even though I'm from Ohio, live in Tennessee, I still read your blog with what I believe is your "accent". It's just so cool that way!

katy said...

he sure was a beautiful baby and he is now a very handsome young man. Happy Belated birthday to you Ben x

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((((Stickman))))))~ I was just kidding ya about me age...... Im actually wellabit old lol..... how can someone write 'young'? :) I can only write as me lol.... can ya know hear me knitting needles clacking and see me grey hair done up in a bun? *smiling*..... sorry me letter was so rubbish lol I aint use to writing proper letters and me handwriting stinks LOL..... I look forward so much to receiving me stick :).... hugs to you and MrGreen for sussing and sorting that out...... xxxxxx

~annoyamouse~ ok, thats fine, but should I be scared? lol and are ya someone that I would know? and do ya have teeth? and why cant ya say who ya are? are you FBI? CIA? CBB? oh thats Cosham Brass Band :).... ok....... I dont bite ya know, well not in cyberland I dont and what I do in real life is up to me LOL......

~((((bina)))))~ oh hush with ya gob will ya lmfao..... I MIGHT BE BUSY YA KNOW :)......xxxxx

~(((((katy))))))~ aint that a song - 'ya must of been a beautiful baby' - jebus I think Im showing me age now lol....and yes he is handsome as are all me lads.... I dont know if that is a blessing or what lol......xxxxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

ps......... bina - I DONT have an accent, its you lot that dont speak proper LMFAO.....xxx

kaylee2 said...

That was a great post on your son that pictur eof your son being in the hospital was hard for me to look at though, I have been in the hospital since valentine's day with cancer :(!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think people can transfer their youthful enthusiasm into words on paper, as you have done. To me, you just sound like a young person, so you do transfer that youthfulness to others. And your letter was far from rubbish, my wife and I enjoyed reading it very much. And your handwriting was very nice, give yourself some credit. The Stickman

MarmiteToasty said...

~((((kaylee2)))~ oh my, Im so very sorry to hear that sad news.... but nuffins over til the fat lady sings, and I aint singing :) - welcome to this madhouse....xxxxx

~(((((Stickman))))~ well seeing as how it was me first letter for about 20 years I suppose it was good enough lol.... I will get into the swing of it, and fanks for giving JeanneH me address cos I received such a lovely letter from her..... xxxxx

Tori_z said...

Belated happy birthday to Ben