Friday, 2 March 2007

Garden Centre Madness.....



That there picture over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> is the photo I took last summer of the plant outside me back door.......

Ok...........busy busy day today, and such a funny day at that, they say laughter is the best cure for everything, I dont know about that, but after today and yesterday I do know that me sides ache so very much, Ive laffed so so much this past couple of days, and I mean laffed stupidly so that the giggles and tears just kept rolling lol

I should write about today, but instead I will try and finish me story of what happened yesterday......

So Me and me matie Ann, with 2 babies in tow and 4 YES 4 barely walking tots (6 under 2s all told), bundle into me car with a boot full of buggys (strollers) and head for Keydell Garden Centre which is about 6 miles away...... its got birds and a pond there also, so its fun for everyone..... and a coffee shop to die for......

Mission.... to buy 5 blue and 5 yellow polys for me poo buckets.....plus anything else that took me fancy, which is always loads lol.... they will only be planted in there a few weeks before I change them again, I change them with the seasons lol.......

So we get there, plonk a baby in each buggy and have 2 each holding onto the sides..... easy right? so first problem...... how can we carry all the plants we want with all these nippers......... ok...... so I grab one of them garden centre sort of trolleys with the 2 wheels and the oblong handle, and I say, look Ann, if Hilary our blind friend can push a baby in a buggy with a toddler in tow and a blind dog and get her shopping, I can pull a garden centre trolley whilst pushing the baby buggy with 2 tots in tow.... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THAT lol.......... after struggling for about 5 minutes with kids everywhere and buggies and trolleys running people down, and quite a few choice words from people...... I hatch a plan........ :) - now you must understand me matie Ann, when we are together we laff and laff ...... so me plan was...... if I hooked the handle of the trolley over the handle of the baby buggy like it was a horse and cart and I stood in the little gap in between then I would be able to pull the trolley and push the buggy at the same time......... problem one, getting in between the trolley and the buggy with me dodgey knee, omg, it was just the funniest..... and of course I then got stuck in the tiny gap and it was impossible to actually walk.... mission failed.... by this time.... Im stuck in the gap the babies are screaming and the 4 tots have made a run for it........ Ann is creased up on the floor laffing so hard that she is useless to me struggle to try and climb out with me dodgy knee that wont bend, Ann had visions of me falling backwards into the trolley which in turn would flip up which would then flip the buggy up into the air with the babies flying everywhere...... omg omg, it was just so funny........ I suppose its one of those times that YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE......

The nursery bloke had to come to our rescue, actually 3 of them, 2 to gather all the kids up and one to dislodge me from me stuck postion LMFAO...... they also ended up laffing til they cried.......

Why oh why cant I just have a normal day out like everyone LOL

So that was yesterday.......... and the below writtings are from our trip to the same garden centre a few weeks ago, prior to me knee op.......... friends aye..... ya just gotta love em.......

Ok, so I dropped off 4 at infants and 2 at pre-school which left me the baby and a 3 year old.... so I nip round to me maties Ann and pick her up with the 2 she has and then round to sharons to pick her up with 1 she had left........ cos I well have had cabin fever this past fortnight.......

So we nipped up into town to do a bit of banking and then off to Keydell which is a big garden centre place in Horndean, there is also a pond there with ducks and birds etc, so it would be good for the nippers to..... oh and a lovely coffee shop in the old victorian house there........

When we get there, I park up and shove the baby in a buggy.... and walk through the main doors.... omg right at the entrance is a couple of wheelchairs..... well you need to know that my maties ann and sharon have the same sick warped sense of humour that I do.... and when we are together we laff at the most ridiculas things... and its such a riot..... and god I so needed to laff this week...... so, anyways.... Ann says..... shit they have cripple vehicles.... quick Mel get in one and we can practise for when you old and crippled and if this op goes pear shaped......

So I jump in one of the wheelchairs and sit Ellis on me lap and sharon pushes me, we are giggling it was so funny..... they bump me down the bloody steps into the greenhouse where we shouldnt of been for a start and I tumble out in a heap clutching Ellis for dear life.......

so Ellis gets wise to this and decides to walk, by then, Im thinking, I quite like this being pushed around lol and pointing at plants and making retarded guggling noises and being allowed to dribble without a care.....

Well..... the garden centre is all but empty, sort of inbetween seasons ya see....... so Ive already got me pockets full of cuttings, cos we didnt have money to buy anything..... well only money for a coffee..... and they think its funny to tip the wheelchair backwards with me still in it and lay it down on the floor.... so there I am in amongst the shrubs laying on me back in a wheelchair with me legs in
the air..... and they fucking disappear, I can hear them giggling....... OH THEY THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY....... cos from that position there is no way I could get up...... so I start to shout.....HELP HELP laffing...... and this man that works there comes running out of the greenshouse all in a fluster... real worried and
concerned LMFAO HAHAHAHAHAHA...... he lifts the wheelchair back up to my relief and asks if Im ok, with which I get out the chair and stand up and brush meself off....... ya should of seen his face....... it was just soooooooo funny....... he took the wheelchair off me and said a few choice words....... me maties had scarpered with the kids and I found them laffing in the coffee shop.......THE
BASTARDS.......

So endith me 2 trips to the garden centre within 3 weeks........ my god help us... or mores the point, my god help them lol...... I think there is talk of us being banned from there....... :)

Ok more then enough twaddle for today....

x

16 comments:

The Fool said...

M-Toasty, your stories are so heart-warming. Thank you, thank you. Having done kindergarden for 6 years, and other grades for another 10...I can relate. I have done my share of the "kid juggle." Fun certainly is. ;) Still, it's even more amusing when it is your own pack and their antics. The stuff memories are made of.

Now, come back and tell me about goddamn Phylis...

;)

MarmiteToasty said...

~Fool~ looks like ya rattle around the place on ya todd lol........ maybe I forgot to unlock the door..... or did you squeeze in through the fanlight window?....... ok if you last up, remember, lights, plugs, cats..... :)

Oh and hot buttered thick toast in the morning please with a steaming mug of tea...... :) - fanks for stopping by......

Sweet dreams x

*sniff* holding one of Phylis's feathers and remembering good times LOL

The Fool said...

M-Toasty - "on ya todd" - does that equal "on your lonesome"? I'm determined to learn colloquial Brit...it's so colorful. Please translate for me.

Yes, poor, por Phylis...now tell me the story...

TC

;)

MarmiteToasty said...

Sigh...... wish it was half past 3ish here instead of 12.30am ish lol

Yep...... your well getting the ang of it ;) on ya lonesome..... cripes do I type with an accent LOL.....

RIP Phylis ;)

x

the psycho therapist said...

For fuck's sake...the dingo just ate my long comment.

/trying not to get too ruffled, knowing how much intolerance there is for such shenanigans

Well, just damn...now I don't know what to say.
:(

Sometimes, lots of times, I hate Blogger. All the time, I love you and the wheelchair story, "live" or in print.

I'm off to a garden center tomorrow for music, wine and homemade specialties amidst the indigo iris.

Thinkin' boutcha, baby.

{{{Mel and Wen}}}

JBelle said...

ah, spring is here. I know this because I read about you and Ann and the little kids. I know this.

xoxox

raymond pert said...

Glad you enjoyed me losin' my Marmite virginity. Marmite's tough to leave alone once you've popped that yellow lid open the first time...tried the crunchy peanut butter/Marmite earlier today and it made my knees wobble. I bust a nut.

You've offered to send Marmite around the world: how about Lancashire Hot Pot lol :)....that was my fav. 28 years ago when I was tootlin' around Eng., drinkin' real ale and eating steaming bowls of L'shire Hot Pot.....all on the cheap, too....didn't have to eat again for another day sometimes some of the pubs gave me so much in my bowl and the cheese and the bread and the REAL freakin' ALE...I loved and would love today English food....loved in all from the beans on toast to the kidney pie

JBelle said...

okay, okay, okay. You've wormed it out of me. AND I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU.

Your prezzie box will fly out of here on Tuesday. I sooo hope you like it. (wringing hands anxiously)

MarmiteToasty said...

~MrPert~ oh what an honour to have you comment on me blob..... :) - ya know what, the lost of ones virginity is an important landmark, whatever the virginity loss might be ;)... aint that first taste of marmit 'orgasmic' - so glad I could be a small part sort of responsible for that virginity loss :)- love your appreciation of 'well proper' grub :) - fanks for popping over, please feel free to come again :)
x

((((JBelle))))... oye you..... you better NOT of done no pressie parcel, you KNOW I find it difficult to accept 'anything'.... Im a giver not a receiver lol..... dam..... dam...... now I will get in quite a tizzle....and feel so very bloody humble... xxxxxx

Mommy Dearest said...

LOL. Let me get this straight: So you take a bunch of kids to go to the garden and steal starts off the plants to prettify your poop-pots? Ah, you would fit in so well here in North Idaho ... Wonderful story. My husband was wondering why I snorted my coffee ...

Em said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. It led me here. And what a fun read! I learned about your trip to the garden center...and all about poo pots! LOL Looks like you are even newer at this blogging thing than I am. Welcome. We can all learn together!

MarmiteToasty said...

~MommyDearest~ heheheheh well not exactly :) the nicking of the cuttings was a few weeks previous, just alpine cuttings..... I use to own a plant nursery with me X and we specialized in alpines, so find it very difficult to pay the mad prices that the garden centres charge, when I know just by a tiny snippet off the plant I will get hundreds of cuttings in a year lol...... anyways it was NOT nicking it was helping to prune and tidy up the plants lol well thats my excuse and Im sticking to it.......

I BOUGHT the polys for me poo buckets...cost a bloody fortune, just for me to oike them out in a few weeks for something else... no way we could nick them lol they was to big to fit in me pocket ;)- ps..... teaching the children about Oliver Twist and 'ya gotta nick a poly or twooooo, ya gotta nick a poly or two' seem to fit in just right ;) - fanks for popping over.... x

~em~ Welcome to my humble abode :) - yep its only just over a week old...... I have not a clue what Im bloody doing lol.... I found your place after flitting around some others, ya know, flit, click, flit, click, stop and read :)..... I'll be back :) - fanks for coming over to have a butchers here, it aint all that, but the crowd are nice :) x

x

sidenote said...

Reading this guarantees a smile each day, thanks!And, oh yes, springtime gardening is in the works. My daffodils already have buds! That's the advantage of living on the west side I guess. I'm planning to dig out half of my front yard this year and turn it into a huge vegetable garden and live off the land sort of. I've probably got enough blackberry bushes in back to get a good start. LOL.

MarmiteToasty said...

~side note~ welcome to nuthouse central :) - cripes, your daffs are late lol..... mine have been up over a week now... I now have the miniture daffs in me little garden cos I loves them the best......

Oh lucky you to have a big enough garden to become sort of self sufficient...... that is my dream, to own again a piece of land or garden big enough to grow loads of stuff........ like I said before me X got our land and chickens and I got the mortgage scabby cat oh and the kids :) lol....

I use to love that comedy telly programme called 'The good life' where this couple in the suburbs as you would call them, have a big enough garden to live off the land in amongst well posh snotty neighbours lol........ well me little greenhouse should be up and running this spring :) - I know it aint the same a 5 65ft greenhouses like I use to have....... but hey, its a start.......

And ya know if ya plant stuff out in your front garden ya might be cauliflower byes or sprout theives LOL - fanks for popping over for a butchers side note, DONT lurk in the shadows - gawds sake x

x

Mr. Fabulous said...

Are you allowed to have this much fun? Is it legal over there?

OrdinaryShark said...

M-toasty is the definition of fun.
And did you kids know his Bobness posted?