Thursday, 29 March 2007

Dear Sweet Little Gnome RIP....



Ok............ Been a busy busy week this week, and Im well knackered....... so could of done without a meeting today...... so many new OFSTED rules and regulations to go over..... bloody hell and gawds sake.......

Anyways..... So cos I have the biggest car, Im always the one that has to pick everyone else up for meetings etc...... but today I was a tad late on the pick up cos I was having it out with PT on her blob..... so I quickly shove the kids in the car.... thats scabbie jack, just jack, sprite, and snotty Rhys... and nip round to get me matie Ann...... so I says to her, where are we suppose to be having this meeting........ and she says ........ oh at Julia's house....... with that she just burst out laffing and laffing which started me off well bad....... I just turned to her and said........ cripes, do you remember....... and she said OMG OMG I dont think we should go.........

Ok, this will bore anyone to death, but, does it look like Im bovvered...... we was laffing cos we BOTH had a flashback to about 2 years ago........ and if me matie Sharon had been in the car today, I think we would of given the meeting a miss and just gone up the pub, kids and all........

Two years ago almost to the week, we had another meeting at this persons house, and as usual me and me maties was running late...... anyways......... this house is down a dead end road and the parking is well bad.... so I puts me foot down and weave in and out of all the parked cars like some loon.......and there in me vision at the end of the dead end is Julia's house, you must understand this woman is well posh, not just that but she is well boring and a right stick in the mud, and if Im honest I dont think she likes me much lol...... maybe its cos I asked her once if she was actually a registered midget cos she is well short...... it was an honest mistake......

cripes off track again........... so there is Julias house, bloody cars everywhere, Ann is moaning cos we are late and Sharon is moaning cos there is no where to park........ so I says..... shall I just double park and sod em..... no no they shout.... ok, I'll just park across someones drive and if they need to get in they can come knock and ask me to move......

You see, my car is KNOWN in this village by me trademark thing in the back window.. its been in me car for 16 years now......... its a life size screaming baby with a wide open mouth and arms in the air...... :) ......anyways...... so I says, there aint nowhere to park....... so Sharon says (which I later found out was just a joke, but at the time of being late and not thinking right, I thought she was serious)... JUST PARK ON JULIA'S FRONT LAWN......... *giggling as I type this* ...........

OK, I says, and with that I mount the kerb, drive over the pavement, across Julias spring flower border across her lawn......... and skid to a halt about a foot from her front window......... :) there I say....... PARKED........ we are so laffing, you bloody loon sharons says..... laffing so hard I really think she wet her pants...... Ann is uncontrolable and the tears are running down her face......... WHAT? I say........ you said park on the lawn and thats what Ive done LOL.........

As we calmed down, and looked out the front windscreen, there was about 15 faces peering out of the window at us...... and there in the middle was JULIA...... posh, stuck up Julia..... ashen she was, bloody ashen LMFAO

OMG OMG we are still laffing and Ann says, I think we should just reverse and make a run for it....... oh sod it I says, we are here now and it looks like they are waiting for us LMFAO..... good job we had dropped the nippers off somewhere else first, or I WOULD OF been in deep shit, cos there also peering out of the window was one of the Government Inspectors there to explain new policies etc LMFAO LMFAO....

So I says....... ok you two get out first lmfao... nope they say, lets just stay here lol..... but we decided to face the music, cos the front door flung open and a very red face midget, opps sorry, a red faced real angry Julia came stomping down the path LOL......

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING............ Ann and Sharon both look at me for a lead....... emmmmm there was nowhere to park, I says and Sharon (dobbing her in) said it would be ok to park on the lawn........... LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE she says...... get out the bloody car and look what you have done......... MY MOTHER BOUGHT ME THAT..... she is screaming whilst pointing sort of under me car....... LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE......

So we climb out me car onto the little lawn, I must admit it was a bit squiggy and me car had sort of made fairly deep indents in the lawn lol........ but there under the front wheel we could just make out something red....... omg omg I thought I must of run over her cat or better still her dopey boring husband........ no such luck though........ by now Julia was actually really crying and our laffing didnt really seem to go down to well......... by now the whole meeting had flooded out of her house and was all standing like soldiers on the front step, shaking heads and tut tut tutting...... Should I reverse, I say, Sharon by now was laffing so hard that she had to walk round the back of the car.... REVERSE said Julia, LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, I LOVED IT and now you have destroyed it.......... holy shit, I thought I really had run over a cat or the hubby, I looked over at Ann who was crying tears of laughter, YOUR ON YOUR OWN WITH THIS ONE MEL she said through huge inbreathes lol....

Calm down Julia, Calm down, you'll give yourself a stroke or something, I says, look it might still be alive, let me reverse and we can see if its ok...... so I jump back in me car and reverse off the lawn and back over the flower borders, over the kerb and just abandon me car in the middle of the road....... I say........ will it be ok there........ she was SO NOT HAPPY :)........ I again look at Ann and Sharon for support but they have left this sane planet and are just a ball of laughter....... bloody mates...... who needs then in a jam aye......... Julia is still going off on one so I walk over where I had driven......... USE THE PATH SHE SCREAMS lol........ and go see what it is Ive killed...... by now I was giggling and giggling and she was saying ITS NOT FUNNY YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.... me tyres had left 5 inch deep tread marks right across her lawn and her flower border...... so I says...... trying to lighten the atmosphere..... Julia you so need to get some proper drainage in this lawn its well soft......... have you ever heard a midget wail...... it was not good, with 15 angry faces looking at us, I look to where she is pointing.... and there in the tread groove squashed almost beyond reconition was a bloody garden gnome...... a BLOODY GNOME....... no cat, no boring hubby..... a bloody gnome........ well that just started me Ann and Sharon off again......

Do you know what........ some people just dont see the funny side of things LMFAO



Anyways, we went into the meeting..... they didnt even offer us coffee or biscuits....... tossers...........and they asked us to leave after about 15 minutes cos everytime I looked across at one of me maties, we all started that daft uncontrolable giggling............. so you see, going back to the same place today, bought back such funny memories......and today when we got there, there is a sign on the lawn that says.......... NO PARKING lmfao hahahahahahaha

It cost me £80 ($160) to put right the damage....... but, I didnt care........ cos that memory has no pricetag .......



I wish I could of found this gnome as a replacement :)

ok enuff Thursday Twaddle....

ps, now I have this David Bowie song in me head....... :)

Laughing Gnome Lyrics
Artist: David Bowie
Album: Images 1966-1967

was walking down the High Street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (Hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (Oaah..)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)

Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
(Gnome Office)
Yes
(Hahahahaha)

CHORUS
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Said the laughing Gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (Burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(Haven't you got a light boy?)
"Here, where do you come from?"
(Gnome-man's land, hahihihi)
"Oh, really?"

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song

Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
(That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", haha)

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

(Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha)
"Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?"
(No, we're gnomads)
"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?
you look like a rolling gnome."
(No, not at the London School of Ecognomics)

Now they're staying up the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's the-er (what?)
It's the Gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

(Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me")

(One more time, yeah)

x

46 comments:

Jump to the Left said...

"Julia you so need to get some proper drainage in this lawn its well soft"

LOL

Whole damn post had me laughing...

You know, I'm terrified of lizards and their relations, so I had to skip that last one. Made my skin squirm.

Read it again... Still laughing.
:) :) :)

Poor, poor Julia.
LOL!!!!

toadman said...

Oh my. Oh boy...you are well nuts aint ya? HA!!!

I have a little garden gnome in my yard in my front flower bed as well...his name is Nigel. Remind me to hide him for his own safety, should you ever visit!! HA!!!

the psycho therapist said...

How you manage to top yourself each post blows my mind. This is FUCKING hilarious.
I started laughing with the "Jacks" and then lost complete control at
maybe its cos I asked her once if she was actually a registered midget cos she is well short...... it was an honest mistake...

And people ask me if you'd *really* send me slugs.

Excellent post...as usual.

--

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Jump))~ thats it, thats it, laff at me life lol....... it aint suppose to be funny ya know.....

oh and sorry about ya dislike of lizards and stuff...... :) - sending ya over dead things to get ya over ya phobia.. x

~((Toad))~ :) I actually have a gnome in me back garden just behind the old hand pump..... except, my gnome is about 60 years old..... and he aint like the ones nowadays....... I nicked him from me X's fathers old nursery shed....... it had been there years and I knew it needed to come live with me :)..... its reall sort of tall and thin compared with short and fat gnomes now :)........ I would nick nigel and put him in your neighbours garden LOL xx

((((((((Wendy))))))))) well ya know I ave names for all me minded kids lmfao....... I even have sleddie tomorrow lol...... scabbie jack cos he has always got a scabbie chin, just jack cos he use to be called screaming jack but he has stopped screaming now, sprite the baby Ive had since she was 8 weeks old and she has real bad stickie out ears and snotty rhys cos he always has snot :).... the funny thing is, EVERYONE calls them by their nicnames LMFAO......

also had the squeekies after school(high pitched voices, brother and sister) with velco (arragant little dark skinned lad with that short curlie velco hair, limpy had a club foot ........ and so the list goes on...... :) they even answer to their nics LMFAO

OK and on that note....... I will have to love you and leave you, cos Im just about beat, and I have so many nippers tomorrow and the market :)...... now that WILL be a laff :).....

someone turn all lights off please ;) - love ya x

ps....... Wendy open ya pressie will ya...... xxx

Jump to the Left said...

"sending ya over dead things to get ya over ya phobia"

Ha! My sister tried it with live things ... in my bed, but that didn't work...

I'M STILL ENJOYING THIS POST. Love the Bowie.
:)

OrdinaryShark said...

No, I'm not laff'n /snork/ at you, Marms, honest /ppfftt/ I really (he-he) am not /something under breath sounding a lot like "hahahaha")/ I get it, it's your /hoot/ life and we shouldn't /LOL/ oh, toss-it girl you are the funniest thing I read every day. I loved the Marty Feldman eyes, btw. Hell I love it all.
I'm jus' gonna follow you around and write it all down and sell it to a sitcom. I'll make a fortune. I'll even take you out to lunch!
At the punk shows I open up the sheep pen and everyone parks in there. Some idiot always spins his tires in the lower part leaving rut and lines. They grow back. It looks like a cross between a used car lot and a junk yard when they're there.
And what makes you think I was the last one out? Sheesh, just get green to send you some motion switches and then you'll be allset.

Peanut said...

Hysterical!!!!

You loon!!!!!!

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Jump))~ *evil grin* I wouldnt be so mean...... one of me lads has a real proper phobia with spiders, even the tiny weenie ones.... at first I thought it was sort of funny and not real, but believe me its soooooo real, so we have to be careful with our jokes.... I nearly had to do me first aid on him once when he went into a sort of freakie turn lol....I had me hand in a fist and said to him, here ya go Sam this is for you, and as he held out his palm I opened me hand and dropped a tomatoe stalk thing into it...... omg he thought it was a right proper spider...... wrong move..... gigginlg now though, but not then :) - I be an evil mum.....xx

~(((Shark)))~ ok now you have me laffing at YOUR POST....... does my life really sound that mental? :) - that was just one of the funniest days though........ LOL@sitcom..... oh come on its not that funny......... lunch would be nice.... no ham though or I would sue your arse :) see I know those technical terms lol....... my lads are WELL envious of your punk gig space....... my Sam had a little gig last night..... and they had band practise here yesterday afternoon when I was not here, but you should of seen the faces of some of me parents when they came to pick up nippers, when Sam and his band walked out the back door..... :) these people still with just 'little' nippers aint really got a clue whats instore for them LOL........ glad I make ya smile :) xxx

~((Peanut))~ are ya thinking it might be safer to drop me as a matie? LMFAO xx

Bob said...

I have two ceramic lawn gnomes I picked up at a yard sale. One is holding an axe. So I buried the other one up to his head in the dirt in the garden (under me dogwood, actually) and stood the axe wielding Gnome over him. This delightful garden site greets anyone who walks up my walk to my front door. When unbidden visitors (see: Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Magazine subscription salesmen) come to my door I just grunt and look excited and then walk them to the scene of gnomicide and point and grunt and smile broadly. Then I go to my garage and make a big effort of opening the door while grunting. They never ever come back. I am on the DO NOT VISIT list of many denominations. Thank God for that.

Peanut said...

No Mel... you can't get rid of me that easily, girl!

Just last night I couldn't hardly breathe for laughing.. first you.. then Wendy's place..

Bloody slugs and gnomes.. lol lol lol

Jump to the Left said...

marm,

The damned lizard crawled under my bed, where it waited, in hiding, to pounce. One morning, laying down on the floor and lifting the bed spread to try to find my shoes, I found myself nose to nose with the Beast.

I levitated. I screamed. I heard my sister cackling in the next room.

I'm not sure what was worse, staring into the face of The Beast, or the ferret that licked my legs.

I'm so not over the lizard thing.
So not...

Evil? I think not. Mischievous as hell? That I'll buy. :)

I laughed reading this ALL OVER AGAIN!
xx

the psycho therapist said...

BOB!

Oh my god.
I'll try to contain myself.

*sigh
/fanning self
My Rainbow Sparkle Pony Boy

(yea!)


--

the psycho therapist said...

I JUST GOT ANOTHER PACKAGE!

ARRRGGGHHHH.......
!!!!!!!!!

(cue sound of whining)


---

Peanut said...

Oiyyyyy..... now lookie here, Rainbow Robert. Where's MY comment? **smacking you upside the head.

**mutters spits.. grumbles.. spits again...

Oh hold on... this just in from Twaddle's mummy...

hey tosser, seeing at how Mel is having technical difficulties and is unable to post....... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING COMMENT ON THIS HERE TWADDLE AND NOT OVER AT PEANUT lol

Seriously, I'm on instant messenger with Mel right now.. and that's what she said to say! lol

She is having a bad time with ntl right now.. can't open up anything but her messenger, so she's asked me to be the Official Twaddle BabySitter.. put out the lights, and kick out the cat.

But as it's only just before 7 here on the east coast, we've got a bit more time before I do that!

sooo....ssshhh.. don't tell, but I call for a blog party at 8, ok? I know where the bottles are... I have the okay to hit the kitchen and get all the goodies... lol

C'mon... anyone game? You need to be good kids, and do what the babysitter says.. or I'll turn real mean and nasty!!!!! lol

Starr Kelso said...

Two Loons on the same blog, keeping in contact by messenger? What is this world coming too?

JBelle said...

well. shit. two things: first, glad I live on a hill. Unless you have a Hummer, you will not park on my front lawn. Second: glad I live far away. But then again, I am not a midget. And I have no gnomes in my yard. I don't have a yard, actually. well. Julia. She's short, right?

Side Note said...

Wow, this reminds me of my longstanding springtime task of charting and naming the dandelion constellations in my front yard!

A year ago, the main figure in the dandelion constellation was Gnomus Major (translated: Big Gnome). I am hoping, that with some strong chemicals he'll be renamed Gnomus Minor (Little Gnome) this year.

MarmiteToasty said...

First of all..... me ntl was well cocked up last night....... hope someone remembered to unplug everything SHARK? and turn the lights off....... connection today is a bit iffie to..... anyways..

~(((((Bob))))~ THE BOB? :) OMG...... bowing LOL ... welcome to me humble abode, as you can see it aint much lol

Ya mean ya dont stand and chat with mormons and JoHos? :) remind me to tell you the story THE STORY of me mormon times :)........ unbelievable....

Love the idea of the axe holding gnomes lol......

I have this 'thing' about tackie garden rubbish though lmfao and was well gobsmacked when I saw that in the states when we visited Wisconstance, there were loads of homes with fake plastic deer in their front gardens...... oh my goodness, we (me Sam and Jacob) sooooooo laffed.... whats that about 'fake plastic life size deer'? lol

I HATE with a passion those tackie plastic windmills that people seem to love over here :)..... but each to their own.....

((Bob)) honoured with your presence here :) fanks xxxxx

~((Peanut))~ well if Wendy stamps on the slugs as per instructions they really will be bloody slugs lol - and its good to laff, especially at someone elses expense LOL xxxxx

~((Jump))~ I went to put me shoes on that are near the back door a few weeks ago, and felt something squiggy..... only to find it was a half chewed frog that me cat must of bought in and dropped in me shoe lol...... x

~((Wendy))~ yeah its 'BOB' lol and he posted here :) mega chufted lmfao xx

~((Peanut))~ oh well, he must love me more then you LMFAO XXXXX

~(((Starr)))~ LMFAO@you...... dont ya know, we be the normal ones :) its you lot that are the lunatic :) xxxx

~((JBelle))~ hills are no problem with me driving lol....... and julia is soooooo short that a mini skirt drags on the ground :) xxx

~((SideNote))~ dont destroy the dandelions, just make wine out of them like what I did one year - 3 years to ferment - drank it straight from the Demi-Johns with straws at a barn dance - it was so strong it took the lining off our stomachs and I aint been so pissed as I was that night ever in me life :)...... so make wine :) xx

eddie said...

Dam made me laugh so hard i spit me coffee out, good one

Mr. Fabulous said...

I think the gnome jumped in front of the car. Suicide. Not your fault.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Eddie))~ sorry about that lmfao, do ya need me to shove ya clothes in the wash? x

~((MrFab))~ bowing :) - I think you might have a point, do you thing that Shark nd Starr would stand up for me in court..... innocient ya honour I be innocient :) xx

Peanut said...

All I can say in response to that one, Mel .. is...

ppppppppffffffffffffftttttttttt

I shall smack 'im one day.. and say, with great delight .. "HAAAAA.. THAT'S FOR NOT COMING OVER....." lol

Or maybe not... I'm really not into slapping people around lol

Starr Kelso said...

loon. oh, just plead guilty.

pottricialou said...

OMFG marmie - you are too freakin funny! poor gnome! but the brenda is a beaut!

sounds like julia needs to get laid btw!!!

your doodle friend - pottress ;)~~

Kati said...

ROFL I can picture the whole thing..... OMG, even chuckling as you talk about looking across at your friends & bursting into giggles again. Too funny.

And what a hoot, that gnome shaggin' the lady-gnome. Glad my daughter wasn't standing behind me as I took that in, but that'd be a definite chuckle to give to Julia as a replacement for her lost gnome. Almost picture her face (not knowing what she looks like, of course) going completely red as she opened a box containing that, and contemplated what the gnomes were doing together. LOL

Thanks for the morning chuckle!

MarmiteToasty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Starr Kelso said...

Yep, that story, albeit funny, confirms it...loon ya be.

Em said...

Very funny! I love the gnome pics! LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Starr))~ :) no matter how many times you say it, it dont make it so LMFAO......xx

~((Em))~ welcome :)..... so you to are laffing at me life are ya? LMFAO...... its not suppose to be funny ya know...... hehehehe x

ok Starr, it looks like your in charge of the lights, plugs and the cats tonight :) - remember off off out.......

Fanks maties for popping in today...... Ive enjoyed ya company..... sleep sweet xx

Peanut said...

Note to self:

no, notes..

1. Do not let Mel drive a trolley anywhere near my heels!

2. Study the book a bit harder... see, girlfriend, I'm getting to be a real dab hand with the sign language thing... bet you didn't know you could tell a kid off in a loud voice, by just using sign language, did ya?

Did ya?

lol

Starr Kelso said...

Janet, quit messing around. Nuff eggs already. You know that, regardless of what the loon tells ya...they get EATEN. Yep. Believe it sister. Oh calm down. Janet...just turn of the lights, will ya, please.

Starr Kelso said...

Janet...er I forgot the cats. Yeah, just boot their arse out the hatch and put a box up against it. That will take care of them. You watch yourself now...you are in enemy territory... you think the eggs are enough to scramble your wits, well...some people consider chicken legs a delicacy, and you know where chicken legs come from don't you? Oh, don't worry, I am sure the loon wouldn't do that to you. lol.

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Starr))~ *cough* I let me cats stay in if truth be told lol we have a cat flap without the flap (long story) so they just come and go, as does Janet during the day lol........ I got home in the week to find her snuggled up in me veggie basket in the kitchen lol

AND you left the telly plugged in, dont you know thats a hazard... but ya did tidy round and clear them dishes ;)

x

MarmiteToasty said...

OK...... not really with it this weekend, aint felt to good since Friday, and now have a sick headache and puking everywhere lol now thats a lovely vision.....Toms been off work since Wednesday with something similar....... BUT I HAVE to work tomorrow and the rest of this coming week, I have no choice....I'd let to many people down if I didnt work this week...:( sometimes this job fucking stinks lol.....so gonna go to bed and see if I can sleep it off.....WHERES MY FUCKING PRINCE lol......

Thinkings its maybe time to wrap Twaddle up........I need to sleep on it.....

Anyways, Ive already turned off the lights and unplugged, so ya all out of a job...... fanks maties..... fanks xxxxxxx

Lynda said...

OMG! That's a classic!!

She was crying over a garden gnome? Poor Julia. *snicker*

Are you sure the stick wasn't up her ass?

The Fool said...

Thank you, M-Toasty...if laughter is good medicine, then you've just done kicked-butt on any residue from this nasty critter that's been in residence the last few days. This column is a delight. I have a history with yard gnomes, but must remain silent for fear of self-incrimination. There may still be warrants out. Cute little happy gnomes you've got there...I should get a set for mother. Thanks again for another wonderful posting!

g'night, matie.

Jump to the Left said...

I want a mischief making garden gnome of me own.

lol

Brenda said...

Ahahahahahaha!! Excellent memory!
I'm surprised Julia allows you back on the property after the Gnome incident! Hahahahaha,,,

Just surfed over from Fabs place and it was fun!

MarmiteToasty said...

~Lynda~ welcome :) most pleased to see you here....... yeah that Julia needs a bit of 4b2 with a nail in the end smashed to her temple LOL..... nah just joking, we would be a registered midget short if one should do that :) x

~(((Foolie)))~ there ya go, laffing at me life again lol...... it aint funny ya know :)- hope your feeling a tad better.. xxxx

~((Jump))~ I'll send ya one lol..... :) x

~Brenda~ hey you from MrFabs blob :) you're most welcome here to :) - ya need to read the blob post previous to the gnome one :) - cos me Chamelian is called Brenda LOL....... please you are welcome here anytime :) xxx

OrdinaryShark said...

Marm- sincerest hopes that you are feeling better. Must tell you and Starrman that the best spuds, despite the platitudes on license plates and other nefarious sources clearly come from the state o' Maine. I do like, however his idea about hanging out at the airport and finding someone to carry it. I use to do exactly that when I needed bicycle grouppos transported to exotic climes. Yes indeedie. Best target, btw, is a child. Back in the day I carried a loaded pistol right onto the plane (JFK to SFO) nobody even blinked at me. The NRA would have been proud.
Weaselboy has some heavy artillery that Starr would appreciate; his potato cannon, a slightly larger of what Starr was playing with no doubt. Hairspray fueled of course. Actually, to tell the truth over ripe pears work the best. Use to shoot them from the house all the way tot he sand pit, right across what will soon be Weselboy's front yard. Hhhhmmm. That gives me a mighty good idea for a little fun this summer.
The security folks once tried to keep me off a plane cause wise I had a Campy bicycle crank (the bit with the crank arms where the pedals attach and the chain goes around.) They worried it was some kind of exotic marshal arts weapon. I took it out of the box and mesmerized them with the shine and they forgot all about it.

And I have no more talk about giving up Twadle. Won’t have it.
I promise to do better about turning out the lights.

MarmiteToasty said...

~~(((Shark)))~ today has been difficult cos I had to work, and feeling well iffie lol..... and had promised the nippers a trip to Petersfield lake with me matie and her mob...... but a promise is a promise..... only have 3 more days to get through then I get from Friday until a week on the monday off....... Im a tough old cow ya know..... I amaze meself sometime lol just remember DONT puke in the lake cos the ducks dont like it ;)

Oh my spud lobbers....... my Sam and Jacob would of loved a dad figure that made spud lobbers LOL...... wow weasel is having a house built on your land? lucky sod.... I'll just ave a sleeping bag in the barn :)

Well, Twaddle has been here just over a month now, and I was only gonna do it for one month.....

6 lightbulbs all went today...... thats cos you aint been doing your job proper and turning them off at night....... I think Im gonna start replacing them with them energy saving ones, even though they cost $20 each, they are suppose to last like yonks..... and then if when the other normal bulbs blow in this house, I replace them with the new ones, I will be doing me bit for the environment :).... that will make MrGreen mega chufted......

x

Michael said...

Very funny. I think I need to get those gnomes doing it, although the wife probably won't let me put them out anywhere!

MarmiteToasty said...

~Michael~ welcome :) - yeah they are a tad saucey aint they lmfao.. x

green libertarian said...

Marmite, compact fluorescent light bulbs should cost no more than about $1.50 to $2.00 american, max. I've seen them much cheaper than that here on sale. Shop around.

I laughed so very hard at this post, Marmite, your original, and your commments, and the other comments. Sheer gold. Sheer hilarity. Love it. Hope you're feeling better by now, sorry, I am way behind.

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Green))~ dont know if you'll venture back to this post...... but fanks lol.......ya mean Im a loon right? lol

and $150 is the price of normal light bulbs here lOL

them long life environmentally good ones are a tenner each.....

Ordinary Janet said...

I can't believe you drove up onto the lawn with a government official inside!! I'd believe it if you were drunk, though!