Saturday, 10 March 2007

Reggie Is Now Officially Janet.......



Ok.............. As you all know from yesterdays post, I found a chicken...... yes a chicken outside school, I picked him up and bought him home to me family, with much delight from me minded kids......

Reggie we realise today is NOT a blokie chicken but a blokette chicken so we officially changed his name today to JANET........ we called her Janet cos we think we have never heard a chicken called that before......so when we call her name out the back door to come in for dinner, she will not get confused with her name......

Last night she slept in a big box in me kitchen, but before bed we did have a chance to get to know her a little, she is quite tame and me and me lads had quite a laff with her antics........

That photo up there is of me son Tom, he thinks Im a little crazy, but as you can see by his face, he is quite taken with the bird LMFAO

Janet very much liked climbing up the stairs and then having my youngest lob her off the top stair so she could get a good flapping action going....

Anyways....... this morning when I awake and opened the big box that Janet had spent the night in..... I realised she had not cockerdoddled once, so she must be a girl.... hence the name change..... what I also realised was that when you keep a chicken in a box over night in ya kitchen, they do HUGE poos and stink the place out......... so Janet was let loose in me garden....... cripes she loved it out there..... I thought she might attract some bird to me birdless birdtable but alas she didnt.......and she was 'well ard' and not at all scared of me cats..



Well this afternoon after our scout fundraising balloon release........ of which the balloons mostly got catch in the tall oak tree in our scout field lol and my lad had to climb 40 foot up the tree and tug them loose...... and then couldnt get down and no one would go up and rescue him, so he had to jump from 20 foot up onto the pile of grasscuttings...... shaking me head..... gawds sake......

anyways off track there for a sec........ after all this, I thought that seeing as how Janet can no longer live in the cardboard box in me kitchen cos of the size of her poos and the smell in the morning, that she ought to have a house of her own........ so off to Jolleys the pet shop I went with my Jacob...... :) - Janet is now the officially most spoilt chicken in the village lol............ we bought her the castle of chicken coops :)....... of course during the day she will have free run of the garden :) ........ and I will have to put a sign on the back gate for the postman (me postman comes round the back with any parcels cos he knows I never am in or I dont here the door bell, probably cos we dont have one lol)......the sign will say - Dangerous chicken loose - please shut the gate :)



Ok...... it seems like my day went smooth, which would be a bit unusual for me..... and up until the pet shop it sort of had been a smooth day........ so we turn up at the pet shop place and they only have 3 coops ..... I had to buy one today cos Janet needed to feel loved and wanted and a place of her own, so she could kick back and relax..... so I pick out this coop thing, not to big cos I have a coop on order thats coming in the spring ( when we was orginally gonna get some chickens - www.eglu.co.uk - go check them muvvers out :) ) but we was desparate today..... so I picks out this coop thats just over $300 and I says to the girl in the shop, oh Millhouse works here I'll have his 10% staff discount.... the girl then proceeded to tell me that no one by that name worked here, so we have this 5 minute disagreement and she says ok I'll call him on the mic over the shop........ so I takes the mic off her and says 'please let me' and I says 'Millhouse to the chicken department NOW please...... with that the girl is giggling.... and in walks Millhouse :) (millhouse is a lad that is always at my house, he is one of my lads friends...... and NO one at work knew his nicname..... and he was so embarrassed lol..... so I get millhouse's staff discount and he throws in food and straw and grit into the bargain....... and then proceeds to go out the store to get me a coop....

Oh NO I almost scream, I so aint gonna have to put one together with screws and things am I........ they come flat packed, he says............. OH NO they bloody dont I says........ you didnt see me trying to put together a birdtable last week..... I AINT BUYING NO FLAT PACKED CHICKEN COOP.....I want that one already made....... ya cant have that one he says it took hours to put together....... EXACTBLOODYLY I says........ I said, DONT make me roll on the floor and have a tantrum lol......... ok ok HAVE THAT ONE lol..... :) mega chufted....... 3 blokes to lift it down the stairs and carefully manourve it into the back of me car, after taking out 4 baby carseats and 2 booster seats and putting all the main seats down flat..... it only just fitted in...... slammed the boot and waved goodbye :)....

To get it into me garden when we got back, I parked down the bottom of me garden thinking I would lift it with Jacob in the gates....... but it would NOT fit pass me greenhouse so we had to take it through me neighbours back garden and take out one fence panel which I broke and lift it pass the trampoline until it was where we needed it............. :)

So ONE FREE chicken found wondering outside the school cost me:

$300 for a house for it...
$20 for a new fence panel...
$10 to replace the trampled plants in me neighbours garden...

PRICELESS......

BUT....... oh how I loves that little chicken called Janet :) - she looked so happy in its new house...... I just hope she aint died over night with loneliness or the dam cold........ I dont wanna have to say RIP Janet so soon....




Bugger just look at all that Twaddle........

x

36 comments:

eddie said...

I think it is great, chickens are fun to watch, and can have very good ties with the kids, we had a duck when i was little and it used to chase my grand mother..

BurdockBoy said...

Christ almighty your backyard really is going to the birds (well it will once the transient birds show up at the feeder.)

What's next? Ducks? Geese? Pigeons?

Just kidding ya. That is quite the Taj Mahal of coops though. Very nice.

MarmiteToasty said...

~eddie~ hugs, lovely to see you :)- we had a couple of aylesbury ducks when I owned our nursery business..we had obviously loads of room there compared to me little garden here.... I wanted real proper white ducks with an orange beak lmfao...... Im fussy about me ducks :) - like Ive said before, my darling wonderful X *spit a big greenie* got me chickens and Sid and Terry (ducks) and I got the bills, mortgage, kids and my life back lol xx

~Burdockboy~ ITS A SIGN I tell ya.... birds birds birds - and remind me to tell you the story bout the bloody pidgeons lol it was quite a shot :)

That little coop aint to fancy, but I have to have a little safe bit so the foxy dont get Janet..... spoilt I tell ya she is already spoilt LMFAO x

Peanut said...

Well, I was over to read last night, but have only just decided that I will post this!

When my mum was a kid, she, her parents, and the 5 other kids all lived on a farm. And the chickens which they let run around the farmyard were .. well.. destined for the dinner table. They weren't spoiled! lol

Anyway.. one day my grandad went out to catch a chicken, and wring it's neck .. you know?

He grabbed it.. wrung.. and the chicken didn't die.

He did it again.

It still didn't die.

So, he reckoned "third time is the charm" .. and did it again.

It still didn't die.

At which point Grandad and Nanny decided that the chicken had earned it's right to live out it's days as a "farm pet".

And one of the other chickens in the yard ended up on the table.

Only thing is, that every so often the chicken's head would turn around with a snap.. and there would be this poor scared chicken running around the yard, with his head pointed backwards.

And all the family running after it, trying to catch it, so they could turn her head back around to the right way!

lol


My mum is full of tales like this one from her childhood.. it's no wonder that she was an interesting mum to grow up with! :o)

missi said...

I think Janet need a friend, I have some wonderful North Idaho chickens, that would love to move to your house and be Janets friend, Just let me know if you want me to send a few your way.
My North Idaho chickens would love to try out your bird table:-)

the psycho therapist said...

ROTLMAO...AGAIN!

Girl, you...you are just too cool for school. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I laughed reading this one.
/shaking my head and smiling
I just totally love you.

It's prolly a good thing we're not neighbors 'cause we'd be having some fun on a regular basis...

...'course all that noise from the kiddies might unsettle my peace not to mention your son's music (hee hee hee, I'm calling the authorities after I finish typing this, hee hee hee) but I'm sure we'd work something out.

Hey! I know!
I'll move into your village and then when Teddy Thompson comes to town, you and Sharon can hang by the stage door and hurl tomatoes at his head to catch him off guard while I run over and pull his pants down so the three of us can kidnap him and have our ways with him before he has to get back to the hotel. Like it?

LOL.
Yeah, thought so.

You are a great Mom to everyone and everything.
*muah


---

appydan said...

Mel,
Ya know we had a lot of chickens in WA. We'd have forty hens plus a couple roosters. We had a big chicken coup *buildin'* and two fenced yeards off of it. I would move them off one and garden it in the spring. Made fer great garden. Had several different breeds of chickens. NO! that is not a rooster, it's a Light Brahma hen. Lucky you! You always were talkin' bout chickens. Now on the down side remember you found this chicken and they only live so long. Sumthin' ya have ta accept, don't mean ta be mean. Hopefully she is young enuff you'll have her round a spell.
As far as yer bird table, it is becomin' spring time and the birds will rely on feeders less ans less so don't freget bout not havenin' any/many birds round. They may have sumthin' better on their plate right now and it will take them a spell ta find it. Best of luck!

appydan said...

P.S. Janet was my mother's name! you may know this but ta better yer egg production ya need ta feed her layer mash. once on this diet you should get a egg mostly everyday with a few exceptions. the older she is the less she will lay. They only have so many eggs in them! The other thing ya should know is that a lot of chicken breeds completely quit layin' in the winter and don't start till the days get longer. Sum folk will put a light in the chicken house ta fool them....it works.

OrdinaryShark said...

M, m'dear, that is no coop, that is a luxury flat! When you get some more chicks this spring get a few Auracanas. They were always my favorite, they lay blue and green eggs. Once had one that laid olive drab green eggs. If I had cloned that one I could have made a fortune from the Army. Fabulous post as always. Beautiful day here cleaning up after the dogs. Ain't life grand!

Southwark Lad said...

hehe, janet is awesome!!


lets just hope she doesn't have any wardrobe malfunctions and flashes a bare chicken breat or too. what a tragedy that would be! ;)

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Peanut)))~ yep ya mum sounds well lovely.....and that chicken deserved to live.....someone tried to wring my neck once lol......only once, his nuts was swollen for weeks after I kneed him...... I should of married a farmer blokie lol.... but instead I had to make do with a nurseryman LOL....

Peanut, let me make myself clear.... if ANYONE so much as gives Janet a 'look' that she aint comfortable with, let alone touches a feather on her pretty little skinny body..... I will hunt them down and rip out their spleen :).... nuff said lol xxx

~missi~ welcome to me humble abode :) SEND ME CHICKENS lol..... wonder how long they would take via me postie or if it would be quicker for them to fly ;) - fanks for stopping by...

~((((Wendy PT)))))~ you so make me smile lmfao...... the funny thing is you KNOW its all true.... I can only write from real life experiences lol...well sod Teddy Thompson lol do you think I ought to post me post about that night? we could hold him down and let Janet peek his wormy willie off lol..... I loves you so much to :) xxxxx

~((((Dan)))~ omg :) welcome welcome welcome :) mega chufted ya here....... yep I remember you and your chickens........ see I should of married you, I would of been in chicken heaven lmfao
- Dan DONT you tell me Janet aint gonna live long,I will get well upset lol..... Colin lived about 4 years.....

And Dan, Janet is spoilt, I got layers mash, pellets, oats, grit, herb smelling hay, she had a cabbage hung up and Im even thinking about painting her toenails lmfao... ;) xxx

~(((Shark)))~ yep its like one of them condoms you have over there :) you wait til summer when we get her a pool lmfao

I cant wait to see what colour eggs Janet lays :)..... and YOU KNOW I DONT DO DOG POO..... fanks for sharing that lmfao...... xxx

~((Jon))~ I think she is gonna be a bit of a tart lol she was already eyeing up Patricks cock over the fence..... she would be a right slapper if she had her own way lol xx

MarmiteToasty said...

Ok fanks for popping over and leaving a comment - fanks to you lurkers just reading :) I CAN SEE YOU YA KNOW......

last one up, light off, plugs out and cats sorted....... nite maties

x

Angela said...

so I'm glad my little brother made the Janet Jackson reference, because ever since I read this last night (dying laughing, by the way) I've been thinking: "Janet...Miss Jackson if you're nasty." I'll shut up now. haha.

Jump to the Left said...

LOLOLOLOLOL!

Tom is handsome. Great smile!

And JANET!!!

I'm not done laughing...
:)

sidenote said...

"I AINT BUYING NO FLAT PACKED CHICKEN COOP"

Hilarious, Janet is one lucky chicken. I wish I had a name like Millhouse.

toadman said...

Ok marmie.. once you fly over the cookoo's nest, we'll know for sure.

I've been really busy with work lately, and haven't been able to keep up with reading, but my wife calls me and talks to me on the phone about what's going on at your place...she's a regular reader, and chuckler...

We're gathering a few bits and bobs to send your way, by the way.. get ready!

The Fool said...

H'lo M-Toasty! Your posts are so enjoyable. And that is one spoiled blokette of a chick.

Your non-flat coop is bigger than my cabin. Very nice. My kids are jealous. They want me to get one and add it is an addition so we have another room.

Janet? Janet? Wasn't there a "Janet" in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show?" And how was the audience supposed to react every time Janet appeared? Hmmm. Somebody help me here...

You should make a recording of the sounds from a chicken farm and rig it to play LOUDLY every time someone touches the fron latch.

Oh look...here comes Janet? Now, what are we supposed to do as an audience?

Have a super cool day! Warm thoughts...

Later.

JBelle said...

anybody seen my husband? everybody else in my family's here. If The Chows linger any longer, I am going to make you start feeding them. Bloody tits, indeed.

JBelle said...

and by the way, that's another damned cute kid.

MarmiteToasty said...

~Angela~ welcome :) are you the Toady Angela?.... lol

~(((Jump)))~ *smacking you to kingdom come* for laffing at me lmfao..... its suppose to be a serious post :) x

~((SideNote))~ :) well after me attemps with a screwdriver the week before there is NO way I was gonna have a Flat Packed Chicken Coop :) - and the lads name is really Ryan but he looks like millshouse off the simpsons lol..... x

~(((Toads)))~ waving at you both :)..... and oye... ya know I find it very difficult to accept pressies dont ya :) ya really shouldnt be sending me anything, I so dont deserve it..... xxx

~((((Fool)))~ I wish I could write with class and style lol but I cant, I just let me fingers and my head run away with whatever comes up lol

Hey, nowts to good for my Janet lmfao..... Im thinking of moving into her house as it is.... luxury I tell ya, she is living in bloody luxury :)...... thinking about putting an on suite in there next LMFAO......... do you know something....... I WOULD LOVE to live in a cabin.... Im a bit of a little house on the praire person lol :) xxxxx

~((((JBelle)))~ I think ya hubby was last seen snuggled in the sweet smelling hay with Janet lmfao

LOL@bloody tits and them chows lol

Yep my Tom is one handsome bugger.... as was our milkman lmfao joking........ fanks :) good job he didnt take after his mother :) xxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

JOY OH BLOODY JOY ~~~~~~~~~ just peeped out the kitchen window to see......... A BLOODY SPARROW on me birdtable :)...... I was so excited I ran out the back door with me camera and scared the dam thing away LMFAO........

Lets hope he/she goes and tells all her maties........ 1 Week 4 Days and we have our FIRST VISITOR :)........ think this calls for a beer LMFAO ......

Ok Ok Im a right saddo to get so excited..... but ya just have to know me..... lol

x

Jump to the Left said...

Man.

Four wonderful sons.

I'm still thinking about what that must be like.

:) :) :) :)

Angela said...

Hi "Marmie",

I am toadgirl (not the formentioned 'angela')!

What a delightful blog you have created! You truly are a treasure!
I have enjoyed sharing the last few blogs, with the 'tadpoles', and watching in amazement as they laugh uncontrolably over someone they have never met! You are a household name here, you know... "Marmie".

In the past you have found so much joy sending us pressies and scummies! Now, its our turn (let us teach our children how much joy there is in sharing!) and enjoy a little of our world, for a change. Maybe one day we can share it together!

Angela

Angela said...

Hi "Marmie",

I am toadgirl (not the formentioned 'angela')!

What a delightful blog you have created! You truly are a treasure!
I have enjoyed sharing the last few blogs, with the 'tadpoles', and watching in amazement as they laugh uncontrolably over someone they have never met! You are a household name here, you know... "Marmie".

In the past you have found so much joy sending us pressies and scummies! Now, its our turn (let us teach our children how much joy there is in sharing!) and enjoy a little of our world, for a change. Maybe one day we can share it together!

Angela

Angela said...

marmie, for some reason my desired username does not pop up on this blogger. this angela is PDXPup, the middle of the three JBelle kids...

MarmiteToasty said...

~Jump~ - sending you a collection of my sons from boys to men lmfao....... its - HARD - A JOY - TIRING - A PLEASURE - HARD - AMAZING - DID I SAY HARD lol :)

x

~((((Angela)))))~ oh my goodness, its a honour to have you comment on me blob :) hehehehehe - glad you like the joint... I know it aint much, and could do with a lick of paint here and there, and the spelling police should be here and the grammar patrol etc....... but I just let me fingers loose and if I proof read me rubbish, I would end up just deleting it all lol...... so you just get whats in me head at the time :) or someone will say something that will dislodge a memory in me head :)......

ok teach the boys that giving is such a pleasure....... DIAMONDs LMFAO HAHAHAHA........ :) I would be honoured to receive a SMALL gift.... I thank you in advance..... gawds sake..... ;)

and LOL@house hold name ...... just refer to me as the loon from over the sea - hugs to you all xxxxxxxx

~Middle Child of Schmeeeebs~ welcome :)..... as you can see its just a load of twaddle lmfao.... fanks for popping over...... :)

x

NEWS ON JANET - since word has spread about 'Chicken Mel in the Dell' I have been inundated with offers of more chickens LMFAO...... so hopefully at the weekend we will go and suss out a little friend for Janet..... x

MarmiteToasty said...

HANG ON - household bloody name lol - what like 'toilet cleaner' or 'fairy liquid' or 'put the cat out' or 'ok which one of you minded kids have piddled on the floor in the downstairs loo' ....... household bleedin name :)

ps.......... yeah it would be so nice lovely wonderful amazing to meet up one day..... fingers crossed :) xx

JBelle said...

Told ya 'Angela' was one of my two favorite names.

The Fool said...

Hi M-Toasty, I found a friend for Janet.

I found this huge (I mean HUGE) chicken out in the woods this afternoon (I think it's a chicken. Do chickens eat dogs?). Any-which-how, after a bit of coaxing (a bit of tranq. through a 30-.o6) we got the bird in a box (okay, it took 4 of us, and it's an effen dog kennel with a chain and lock).

The new bird should arrive by Wednesday.

It like raw meat.

;)

The Fool said...

That should read: "It likes raw meat."

We fed it a crock of moose meat chili before we put it on the plane.

Spicy hot.

MarmiteToasty said...

~JBelle~ :) hehehehe well it beats being called Doris LMFAO ;) - which is my real name...... JOKIN x


~(((Fool)))~ Oh Im SOOOOoooo excited :) I'll tell me postie this morning to make sure he will have room on his bike for when me pressie arrives....... YOU BETTER NOT be winding me up.... this better be for real..... you aint teasing are ya? ..... THERE BETTER BE A PRESSIE coming from alaska ;) LOL - building extention to the coop for the new awaited arrival.... telling me lads, they will be so excited..... fanks ....... does an alaskan chicken have feathers or fur? *S* x

x

gazey said...

((( Marmite )))

what an awesome thing to do..... you never cease to amaze me....

say, how do I get an avatar thingy to show up? I am kinda lost around here.......

love you,
* gazey *

MarmiteToasty said...

~(((Gazey)))~ :) ya know me, any ole waifs and strays lol..... always gunning for the underdogs.....

if you mean an avatar is that little picture that everyone has EXCEPT ME lol then I dont have a woodlices third nipples clue as to how to get one :( - me and you gazey are just pictureless.... least we got each other right?

x

gazey said...

((((M ))))
I hear this song on the radio...and think of you.... Have an awesome day, my friend.....
* gazey *


Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the woman I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life

MarmiteToasty said...

~((Gazey))~ fanks matie :) I so dont deserve your lovely words....

loves ya xx

green libertarian said...

Oh Gawd sakes, Mel, I haven't laughed so hard in I don't know how long. Had to wipe my glasses off three times I was so crying with laughter.

Ummmm, so what happens if there's a rooster around, you know, getting frisky with Janet? Are the eggs different? I am so clueless.

But so entertained, god almighty.